1 00:00:08,280 --> 00:00:09,920 Don't you pay attention to the news? 2 00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,160 They want to destroy our way of life, Mum. 3 00:00:12,240 --> 00:00:13,640 I'm only protecting us. 4 00:00:13,760 --> 00:00:15,960 With respect, your opinion's garbage. 5 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,520 That's the problem with free speech. 6 00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,880 Great idea till you realize it applies to everybody. 7 00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:23,880 Mum, it's true. People are coming into the country and taking all the jobs. 8 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,880 Oh, my God, I've raised a Tory. 9 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:29,160 Olive, the people coming into the country are you. 10 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:31,000 No, I was born here. 11 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:32,240 To an immigrant! 12 00:00:33,640 --> 00:00:36,440 Immigrant! That's what Daddy said they're called. 13 00:00:36,520 --> 00:00:39,800 Oh, did he? Well, I should stop taking all your jobs then. 14 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:42,400 Like scrubbing the toilet, cleaning the kitchen, tidying up... 15 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:43,880 Hey, no! 16 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:45,120 Take back control, Olive! 17 00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,680 Make Britain great again by cleaning your own room. 18 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,240 I'm only doing the jobs you won't do. 19 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:54,480 So Leonardo DiCaprio drowned in Titanic 20 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:58,440 and then he never dated a woman over 25 ever, ever again. 21 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:00,160 Oh. There's Millie. 22 00:01:00,640 --> 00:01:03,360 Beast! Let me tell the teacher she's been bullying you. 23 00:01:03,440 --> 00:01:07,280 Oh, and make things worse? No way. She's very powerful. 24 00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:10,040 Yesterday, she got all the other girls to say my coat was ugly. 25 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,760 That coat was Stella McCartney. Tasteless little ditch pig! 26 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,880 You can't say that about a child! 27 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:17,840 Can too, if I'm defending my child 28 00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:20,200 and the child of Sir Paul and Linda McCartney. 29 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:22,720 From the vegan sausages? That's her mum? 30 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,920 Mums are very impressive. Apart from Millie's mum. 31 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:26,800 The only cow I'd happily slaughter. 32 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:29,640 I can manage things at school myself. Don't worry about me. 33 00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:32,040 - You're really brave. Are you sure? - Yes. 34 00:01:32,120 --> 00:01:35,120 - I don't want to be late. Love you! - Love ya. Happy birthday! 35 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:42,600 Excuse me, Jane? 36 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,840 - Your coat is ugly. - What are you talking about? 37 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:49,600 I have had it with your evil daughter and her demon mouth. 38 00:01:49,680 --> 00:01:53,240 - Mum, I forgot my water bottle. - Oh, hey, sweetheart. Sorry. Here you go. 39 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:54,200 Have a good day. 40 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:55,600 Bye! 41 00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:57,800 Love ya! 42 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:00,560 You need to sort your family out. 43 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,520 Katherine, I know the girls have had their differences, but... 44 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,880 Well, Millie is dyslexic, so things can get lost in translation. 45 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,320 Millie is dicks-lexic. 46 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:10,920 Mmm, dyslexic. Maybe a coffee morning? 47 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:13,680 - We can hash out a strategy. Just us mums! - No, no. 48 00:02:13,760 --> 00:02:16,280 No more coffee mornings. None of you need more caffeine. 49 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:18,360 It would be easier to solve these problems 50 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:21,320 if you were just generally a little bit more involved with the PTA. 51 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:23,160 Maybe you could... 52 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:25,960 Maybe I could fuck your man. 53 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:27,200 I beg your pardon? 54 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,600 Yeah. I will come for your man every day of the week 55 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:32,840 until you are able to have some meaningful conversations 56 00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:34,040 about empathy in your home. 57 00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:38,560 It is not that hard to be a decent fucking mum! 58 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:37,520 Oh, I ordered paint. 59 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,520 Oh! You're not paint. 60 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:45,960 I could be paint. 61 00:03:46,280 --> 00:03:49,640 Or I could be an incredibly handsome young dentist, 62 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:53,360 who's finished work early to take you girls out to dinner for Olive's birthday. 63 00:03:53,440 --> 00:03:56,080 Oh, thank you. Honey, she loves peonies. 64 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:57,160 No, those are for you. 65 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,720 It's always just us on her birthday. 66 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,680 Oh, sounds very exclusive. 67 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:02,600 Yeah! 68 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,520 - Did you need to use the bathroom or... - No, no, I'm good. 69 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,160 Um... 70 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:15,760 You do know I'm more than a Saturday guy, right? I want to be a part of this family. 71 00:04:15,840 --> 00:04:17,720 You are a part of this family. 72 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,760 An important peripheral part. 73 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,960 Well, I really want to be let in. 74 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:25,240 Paint! 75 00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,560 Okay, so how about this weekend we do anal? 76 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,360 What? No, I meant "let in." 'Cause we were talking about... 77 00:04:31,440 --> 00:04:33,960 That's not what... 'Cause that's... I mean... 78 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,120 I mean, I'll do it. Like, that's what I do, 79 00:04:36,200 --> 00:04:39,480 but that's, um... That's... That's not what I meant. 80 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:40,600 Okay. 81 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:45,080 Say hi to Bev for me, will you? And, uh, tell Olive I said happy birthday. 82 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,720 I will. I love you. 83 00:04:46,800 --> 00:04:48,720 See you later, weirdo. 84 00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:51,960 Oh, and just, um... 85 00:04:52,640 --> 00:04:54,400 text before you stop by next time. 86 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:57,080 Jesus. 87 00:04:58,560 --> 00:04:59,400 Who was that? 88 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:02,080 Evan, showing up here in the middle of the day, unannounced. 89 00:05:02,160 --> 00:05:03,560 Oh, my God, he's getting bold. 90 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:07,160 What, you've only been dating for what, five, six hundred days now? 91 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,240 Yeah. And now he's trying to take me to dinner. 92 00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:11,960 Like, "Slow down, you thirsty little freak". 93 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,440 Yeah, babes. He is being thirsty, isn't he? 94 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:18,000 Turning up on your daughter's birthday, bringing flowers? Bin him! 95 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:20,680 I will bin him if he tries to change our arrangement. 96 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:23,000 I had it perfect. Bang him once a week, 97 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:25,680 live my life the rest of the time, and free dental. 98 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:29,000 Why can't I find a man who just wants to have casual sex? 99 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,320 Because you're over 30. That's why. 100 00:05:31,400 --> 00:05:34,040 That's the landscape we're working in. Evan's lovely. 101 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,560 What he doesn't realize is he'll like me a whole lot less if he sees me more. 102 00:05:37,640 --> 00:05:41,160 You gotta keep it to once a week, and that's the magic of our relationship. 103 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,280 - Mum! - Okay, here we go! 104 00:05:55,560 --> 00:05:56,480 Here you go. 105 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:57,840 Okay. 106 00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,680 You give me your helmet. 107 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:01,520 Aw. 108 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:03,720 Looks like nobody's home. 109 00:06:13,360 --> 00:06:15,160 Oh, honey, it looks like I got the time wrong. 110 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:16,760 That's my fault, I'm sorry. 111 00:06:16,840 --> 00:06:18,040 Dumb motherf... 112 00:06:19,640 --> 00:06:21,280 Daddy! 113 00:06:21,360 --> 00:06:23,160 Hey, sweetheart! 114 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:24,920 It's dangerous to sneak up like that, 115 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,960 'cause you know Daddy's got his boat heavily armed. 116 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,680 And speaks in the third person, and is a twat. 117 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:33,000 - Mummy got the time wrong. - Well, Mummy drinks. Time of what? 118 00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,840 - Have you forgotten? - No, Olive, Daddy's only kidding. 119 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,440 He knows it's your birthday. 120 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,200 - Gotcha! - See? 121 00:06:43,280 --> 00:06:45,400 Course I knew it was your birthday. 122 00:06:45,480 --> 00:06:49,680 Hey, you are getting so big that I think it's time... 123 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,560 Every fucking year. Does she remind me? 124 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,080 No, she doesn't. 125 00:06:55,160 --> 00:06:57,480 ...for your very own... 126 00:06:57,560 --> 00:06:58,560 -...birthday dynamite! 127 00:06:58,640 --> 00:07:00,120 - No! - Awesome! 128 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,480 I can honestly say I was only half expecting explosives. 129 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:06,480 Daddy, can we use it now to blow up some trout? 130 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,840 Aw. We'll go fishing this weekend, baby. 131 00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,680 I think a family of mice died under the toilet. We can use them as bait. 132 00:07:11,760 --> 00:07:14,640 Great. So let's just sing the song and then we can go. 133 00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:21,840 Um, no. Please, Mum and Dad, I'm not making a fuss this year. 134 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:23,920 But, Olive, it's tradition. It's your birthday. 135 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,240 You'll always be our baby. 136 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,440 - Would a baby have her own dynamite? - Uh, yeah! 137 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,960 Coolest dad ever. You're welcome! 138 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,600 All right. Well, we're really in a hurry, so let's go. 139 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:37,040 Aw, happy birthday, my sweet little angel girl. 140 00:07:37,120 --> 00:07:38,560 I'll see you tomorrow, okay? 141 00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:41,480 - I love you. - Love you, Dad. Bye! 142 00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,800 Thank you. 143 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,440 Right. How old are you now? 144 00:08:12,520 --> 00:08:13,480 - Thirty-three. - I'm nine. 145 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:16,520 And I'm not getting any younger, so could you please make her have my baby? 146 00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:19,680 We do usually advise that children aren't present at these appointments. 147 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,000 It was my idea to come. 148 00:08:21,080 --> 00:08:24,040 How dare you speak about my daughter like she isn't here? 149 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,200 This is her birthday present. 150 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:27,520 My apologies, Olive. 151 00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:28,520 Thanks. 152 00:08:28,600 --> 00:08:31,080 Coming to get the blood of a man is my main present. 153 00:08:31,160 --> 00:08:32,440 - Blood? - Yeah. 154 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:35,680 I see. 155 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:38,440 What's your reason for wanting a child this way? 156 00:08:39,240 --> 00:08:41,840 Well, my entire family are dead. 157 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,360 To me. So when Olive was born, I was all alone, 158 00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,600 but now we have each other for support 159 00:08:46,680 --> 00:08:49,720 and we both agree that we're ready for this next step. 160 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:53,240 And my dad is a pop star, so we'll take famous blood if you've got it. 161 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,720 Her dad was in a boy band. 162 00:08:56,240 --> 00:08:57,920 Last one to get up off the stool. 163 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,520 Okay. So... 164 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,840 your test results show that if you're serious about growing your family, 165 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:07,080 Olive is wise to be in a hurry. 166 00:09:07,160 --> 00:09:08,120 Thank you. 167 00:09:08,520 --> 00:09:12,800 Egg production slows down dramatically for women approaching their mid-30s. 168 00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:16,120 Your best chance of conceiving is to do it now. 169 00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,400 Doctor, I'm only 33 170 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:22,280 and "it" looks about 16, so trust me, I have plenty of time. 171 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:24,400 Trust me, you don't. 172 00:09:25,440 --> 00:09:28,560 We have donors in their late teens and early 20s. 173 00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:30,400 - Ew. - They're match fit... 174 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:32,560 for a geriatric pregnancy. 175 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:34,400 What did you just call me? 176 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,960 Olive, we're leaving. 177 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,720 Great. Where are we going to get the blood from now? 178 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,520 She's a remarkable child. 179 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:43,240 I know! I did that! 180 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,600 I took her father's garbage cum and I turned it into a princess. 181 00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:49,760 You should be begging me for my business. Begging me! 182 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,680 Oh, God! 183 00:09:55,760 --> 00:09:58,120 How do any of you even have balls yet? 184 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:11,720 She's pretty. 185 00:10:11,800 --> 00:10:14,240 I think I should have taken one of the boobs down slightly. 186 00:10:14,320 --> 00:10:17,560 Nah, I think you're bang on with those. Maybe it's the angle of her dick. 187 00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:20,000 - Oh, no, I enjoy that. - Listen, I can't stay late. 188 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:22,760 I've got a date night with Tom. I'm helping him put the kids to bed. 189 00:10:22,840 --> 00:10:24,520 Reading stories is a two-man job? 190 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:25,880 Well, with my four, it is. 191 00:10:25,960 --> 00:10:27,720 May I be excused until dinner, Mum? 192 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,520 You don't have to ask, gal, but yes, you may. 193 00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:34,080 I know. But I saw it on TV and I prefer the formality. 194 00:10:35,680 --> 00:10:37,800 You are so lucky to have her. 195 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:40,560 I found a full bucket of piss in Eddie's room the other day. 196 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:42,080 He'd been pissing up there for weeks, 197 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:43,960 - keeping it in a cupboard. - Men! 198 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,800 Ugh. Does it say in your jizz bible if any of the donors are gay? 199 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,760 - I'd love a nice gay son. - It should. 200 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,160 But it doesn't matter, I can't go back there. They're too young. Look. 201 00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:53,920 It's like a high school yearbook. 202 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:00,160 Well, Cameron sounds good. 203 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,560 "Always got a friendly smile." 204 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:04,400 He's happy because he's a 19-year-old 205 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:06,760 who just quit his paper route to jerk off for cash. 206 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:09,360 You sure you can't just do this with Evan? 207 00:11:09,440 --> 00:11:12,920 Yes. I've reached my maximum estranged baby's fathers. 208 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,600 Look. Shep's challenging, all right, 209 00:11:14,680 --> 00:11:17,280 but, come on, Evan's hot. Evan's got a job. 210 00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:21,040 Exactly. He could pay for better lawyers and destroy me when we split. 211 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,880 Why does your mind automatically go to the worst-case scenario? 212 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:26,400 What if you and Evan just worked out? 213 00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:27,880 Now you sound insane. 214 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:30,320 There will be a problem with Evan. When I find out what it is, 215 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:31,920 I won't be tethered to him with a baby. 216 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,360 Don't have two then. You nailed it the first time. 217 00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,120 What if I could nail it again? 218 00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,520 You know what? If it'll stop you getting another mouse dog... 219 00:11:38,600 --> 00:11:41,520 Look at 'em! They just shiver and piss from their eyes. 220 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,240 Oh, hey! Sorry about today. 221 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,880 Hey, it's okay. I just wanted to show you something. 222 00:12:01,120 --> 00:12:03,360 It's a Thai restaurant called Thai Tanic. 223 00:12:03,440 --> 00:12:05,600 Oh, that's the best one so far. 224 00:12:05,680 --> 00:12:08,520 Uh, pretty sure it blows everything you've ever had out of the water. 225 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,800 It beats The Codfather and it beats Abrakebabra, baby. 226 00:12:11,280 --> 00:12:13,040 Mmm, you're kicking my ass. 227 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,280 Oh, you will never beat Thai Tanic. 228 00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,760 Oh, I will. One day, I will. 229 00:12:18,560 --> 00:12:20,880 - I'm going to bed. Love you. - I love... 230 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:53,720 Millie's mummy told her you're terribly immature. 231 00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,520 Ha! Millie's mummy is a mess. 232 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:59,200 And she also said that's why Daddy left you. 233 00:12:59,280 --> 00:13:00,320 Is that true? 234 00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,360 I love your Daddy very much. 235 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,000 Because he's such a clever man? 236 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:06,040 He is a genius. 237 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:08,520 Do you fancy my daddy? 238 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:10,920 Yep! How could I not? He's so gorgeous. 239 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:15,000 But then, how come my daddy's not your boyfriend? 240 00:13:16,840 --> 00:13:18,360 That is because, um, 241 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,080 your dad's, like, too good for me. 242 00:13:21,160 --> 00:13:23,520 Yeah. That's how amazing your daddy is. 243 00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:28,720 - You've got a crush on my daddy! - Oh, big time! 244 00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:35,040 - What's that? - Look! 245 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:37,000 I made it for Millie so that she'll be my friend. 246 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,520 Aw, honey, you don't have to be everyone's friend. 247 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:41,360 Daddy! 248 00:13:41,440 --> 00:13:43,400 Stop doing that! 249 00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:45,640 What are you doing here? You're supposed to do pick-up. 250 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:47,640 I thought you might like some meat for the dogs. 251 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:48,880 The dogs are vegan. 252 00:13:48,960 --> 00:13:50,640 You can't have vegan dogs. 253 00:13:51,560 --> 00:13:54,160 Birthday weekend! Yay! 254 00:13:54,240 --> 00:13:56,520 I'll grab you after school and we'll have so much fun. 255 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,640 - We're gonna have a barbecue! Yeah! - Yay, meat! 256 00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,920 - Bye, Mummy, love you. - Love you. 257 00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:02,960 Oh, and Daddy? 258 00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:04,960 My mummy's got a crush on you. 259 00:14:08,440 --> 00:14:10,680 She misunderstood. I said I'm going to crush you. 260 00:14:10,760 --> 00:14:13,080 Like I'd be afraid of a left-wing cunt who won't eat cheese. 261 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:17,160 Who said that? Shep? Oh, there you are. You blend in so well to your surroundings. 262 00:14:17,240 --> 00:14:20,760 - You just get back from Afghanistan? - You look like an art dealer's widow. 263 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,480 Lucky her. My psychic promised me you'd be dead two years ago. 264 00:14:23,560 --> 00:14:26,320 Unlikely. I'm one of the strongest men on the planet right now. 265 00:14:26,400 --> 00:14:29,240 - Strongest smelling. - That smell is pure testosterone. 266 00:14:29,320 --> 00:14:30,640 I gotta get back. 267 00:14:30,720 --> 00:14:32,960 Bev and I are working on a big new commission from Adele. 268 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:34,160 She saw us in The Guardian. 269 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:35,480 The Guardian? 270 00:14:36,280 --> 00:14:37,240 Adele? 271 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,960 Jealous someone's still making records? You... 272 00:14:41,520 --> 00:14:43,080 Hold on. There's Millie. 273 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:46,680 - Kid that's been giving Olive a hard time? - Yeah. 274 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,800 Ah. I know her dad, Brian. 275 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:50,920 He's in my Pilates class. 276 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,840 Runs that plumbing business on the broadway. 277 00:14:53,640 --> 00:14:54,840 Interesting. 278 00:14:58,760 --> 00:15:00,440 - Motherfucker! - No! Leave it! 279 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,040 Leave it! You'll embarrass her. 280 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,520 I've given Olive a fundamental understanding of tae kwon do. 281 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,960 - She's choosing not to use it. - Let me fucking go! 282 00:15:07,040 --> 00:15:10,080 Calm, calm. Woosah, woosah, huh? 283 00:15:11,600 --> 00:15:12,560 Hey, see? 284 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:18,880 You do not get a say in how I parent my daughter. 285 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:21,520 She's not your daughter, shithead. She's our daughter. 286 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,080 Yeah. Thanks to me. 287 00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:28,920 Stupid prick. 288 00:15:41,840 --> 00:15:45,000 So she goes to pay her bill and the daughter says to me... 289 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,400 "Are you very poor? My house is much bigger than this ugly little office." 290 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:49,720 - No! - Six years old! 291 00:15:49,800 --> 00:15:51,720 The entitlement is extraordinary. 292 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:53,640 You're never too young to be an asshole, though. 293 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:56,360 I hate to say it, but I regretted giving her such a good filling. 294 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:57,920 Another bottle? 295 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,440 Oh, yes, please, man. It was the Argentinian Malbec. 296 00:16:00,520 --> 00:16:02,400 - You having a good night? - Yeah. 297 00:16:02,480 --> 00:16:04,840 - A much-needed break from the little one? - Yeah. 298 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,200 Why would you agree with him? 299 00:16:08,600 --> 00:16:10,680 I don't need a break from Olive. I like her. 300 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,360 Hey, I was just saying it's nice to be having this time, 301 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:16,720 - just the two of us occasionally. - Every weekend is not occasionally. 302 00:16:16,800 --> 00:16:18,520 It's too long to be away from your own kid. 303 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,040 She's with her dad. I... I thought this was cool? 304 00:16:21,760 --> 00:16:23,120 I wish she never went over there. 305 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:24,560 Then why do you let him see her? 306 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:27,240 Because he's her dad, and love don't cost a thing. 307 00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,760 . Lo. You're right, it's always. Lo. Look... 308 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:32,400 I'm sorry, can... 309 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:33,920 Can we start again? 310 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:36,840 I just feel like I should be using this time to sleep. 311 00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,840 Katherine, I didn't mean to offend you. 312 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:40,400 Sorry. 313 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,680 I've had a lot on my mind. Um... 314 00:16:44,920 --> 00:16:46,680 I've been meaning to tell you... 315 00:16:46,760 --> 00:16:47,720 Yeah? 316 00:16:50,720 --> 00:16:52,280 I'm ready to have another baby. 317 00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:57,680 Okay. 318 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,960 This is a big step. This is bigger than what I thought you wanted, but... 319 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,120 You know what? Fuck it. Yes. 320 00:17:07,200 --> 00:17:08,760 Yes, yes, yes. I'm in. I'm in, 100%. 321 00:17:08,840 --> 00:17:10,480 - When do you want to start trying? - Soon. 322 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,440 Truth is, Katherine, uh, we're on exactly the same page. 323 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:17,440 How about this? How about we start with me moving in? 324 00:17:17,520 --> 00:17:20,400 I've actually already got some boxes packed. I've got a little papoose. 325 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,240 I would never carry a hot drink over the baby. 326 00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,840 That's out of the question. I'm very responsible in that sense. 327 00:17:24,920 --> 00:17:27,520 Am I talking too much? Should I back up? I'll do whatever it takes, 328 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:28,960 - is what I'm trying to... - Um... 329 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:30,600 - ...say. - Okay... 330 00:17:30,680 --> 00:17:32,320 - no. - No, okay. 331 00:17:33,040 --> 00:17:36,880 I need to do this with a sperm donor. It's the safest way for me. 332 00:17:37,760 --> 00:17:39,080 - Sperm don... - Here we are! 333 00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:40,160 Can you give us a minute? 334 00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,880 God, I thought you were being serious for a minute there. 335 00:17:50,280 --> 00:17:52,560 - I'm not joking. - Yeah, right! 336 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:55,600 Yeah, you have a donor baby so that it's all yours 337 00:17:55,680 --> 00:17:58,680 and you keep me at a safe distance so nothing changes for you. 338 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:03,440 Oh, fuck me, you mean it. 339 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,400 Well, I feel really badly about it, though. 340 00:18:05,480 --> 00:18:06,400 Don't you love me? 341 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,200 I do love you. That's the problem. I hate Shep. 342 00:18:09,280 --> 00:18:13,560 You were a 23-year-old girl who got pregnant by a lunatic in a boy band. You... 343 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:16,320 - You didn't love him. - But I thought I did. 344 00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:17,520 Well, I'm not Shep. 345 00:18:17,600 --> 00:18:19,800 I'm not gonna end up in rehab and lose my record deal, 346 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,560 because I don't have a record deal. 347 00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:23,880 I have a medical degree. 348 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:27,080 I know you're not Shep, but you could hurt me way worse. 349 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,920 I just want us to keep dating. 350 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,000 I... I'm not breaking up with you. 351 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,840 Oh, you're not? That's... Ah, well, thank you very much. 352 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:35,320 Well, I don't wanna lose you! 353 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:39,840 Equally, I don't wanna be trapped with you. Do you understand? 354 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:41,800 Fuck me. 355 00:18:41,880 --> 00:18:43,000 One minute! 356 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:46,080 A lot of waiters say one minute and then you never see them again, but me, 357 00:18:46,160 --> 00:18:48,480 - I'm right in here. - Mate, can you fuck off? 358 00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,960 How about I just take you straight home? 359 00:19:00,880 --> 00:19:03,240 - But we made anal plans for your place. - Right. 360 00:19:03,320 --> 00:19:06,040 That's what I'm saying. Let's leave that part of this evening out. 361 00:19:08,440 --> 00:19:09,760 So just regular sex then? 362 00:19:42,960 --> 00:19:43,800 Hey. 363 00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:45,760 Okay, so you're panicking. 364 00:19:45,840 --> 00:19:48,080 - Have I made a mistake? - Absolutely. 365 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,200 But it's not too late to say you were joking. 366 00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,640 Olive can't be an only child. 367 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:56,040 That's what Beyoncé's parents said and then they had Solange. 368 00:19:56,120 --> 00:19:58,960 Solange is the true visionary of that family and you know it. 369 00:19:59,360 --> 00:20:00,240 Are you with Tom? 370 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:03,320 Only for a few minutes, when he farts himself awake. 371 00:20:03,720 --> 00:20:07,040 God. It's sick, you know? People living with men. 372 00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:08,600 No, I love him! 373 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,440 His sleepy little face. 374 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,360 Some of them aren't that bad, you know. You'll figure it out. 375 00:20:13,760 --> 00:20:16,520 Look, at least you've got the rest of the weekend to catch up with work. 376 00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:29,160 Hi, you've reached Dr. Evan Patterson. Leave a message. 377 00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:51,920 Hi. 378 00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:53,480 Hi. 379 00:21:57,680 --> 00:21:59,800 I know that leaving Shep was hard, 380 00:21:59,880 --> 00:22:02,400 and I admire all the sacrifices you've made, 381 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,640 and I don't blame you for being afraid. 382 00:22:04,720 --> 00:22:06,680 Yes. Fearful. Not a bitch. 383 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:07,960 Yeah, well... 384 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,120 Well, a little bit of a bitch. 385 00:22:10,200 --> 00:22:12,880 Look, I'm through paying for another guy's mistakes. 386 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:15,000 I don't want you only on the weekends. 387 00:22:15,080 --> 00:22:18,920 I want you, but both of you, to be my first priorities all the time. 388 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:23,120 Think about it. You, by some miracle, got Olive out of Shep. 389 00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:24,880 Shep! 390 00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:27,640 Imagine what you could get out of a decent guy. 391 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:30,880 I did get Olive out of Shep. 392 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,600 I don't think it's your place to decide that a kid doesn't get a dad. 393 00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,200 I love you. 394 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:48,680 And it's cold out here. 395 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:50,720 Oh, sorry. Yeah, come in. 396 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:08,760 What is the meaning of this? 397 00:23:10,360 --> 00:23:12,040 My private naked photos! 398 00:23:12,120 --> 00:23:15,040 Oh, Jane, we didn't want you to find out this way. 399 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:20,600 These appeared on my husband's desk in an envelope marked, "Urgent plumbing quote." 400 00:23:20,680 --> 00:23:23,360 I mean, he was horrified when he opened it! 401 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:25,280 The truth is I wanted to tell you... 402 00:23:25,360 --> 00:23:28,440 ...about our ongoing love affair and he must have panicked. 403 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,960 My husband is not having an affair with you. 404 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:35,800 Mr. Michaels! Mr. Michaels! 405 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:37,040 - Wh... - Excuse me, Mr. Michaels. 406 00:23:37,120 --> 00:23:40,400 I'm sorry, but Jane has just brought pornography into the playground. 407 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:41,360 Whoa, what? 408 00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:44,680 It's wildly malicious, Mr. Michaels, but I've chosen not to press charges 409 00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:47,000 against the school. 410 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:48,320 Oh, dear. 411 00:23:48,400 --> 00:23:52,600 No! She's planted these in an attempt to seduce my husband! 412 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:54,400 Brian? 413 00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,280 As physically disgusting and ham-colored as Brian may be, 414 00:23:57,360 --> 00:23:59,280 you have to find it in your heart to forgive him 415 00:23:59,360 --> 00:24:02,120 - for taking these naked pics. - They're bloody selfies! 416 00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:04,040 Mrs. Wooms, I must respectfully request 417 00:24:04,120 --> 00:24:06,280 that you remove yourself from school property at once, 418 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:09,640 because I'm almost certain what you've done here this morning is illegal. 419 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:12,000 Especially because you can see my pussy in this one. 420 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:14,040 - Oh, dear, just... - Thank you. 421 00:24:17,840 --> 00:24:20,080 I am so sorry, Jane. 422 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,640 That was just a warning. 423 00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,160 Mummy! 424 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:34,920 Hi! Oh! 425 00:24:35,000 --> 00:24:37,360 Did you have a lovely time? 426 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,600 Yeah, I went swimming and I shot a squirrel in the face. 427 00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:40,680 Wow. 428 00:24:40,760 --> 00:24:43,280 Yeah. She's getting to be a really good little game hunter. 429 00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,040 Bye, Daddy! 430 00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,480 - See you later, Mum. Bye! - Bye. 431 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,480 She got all her shit pretty caked in mud at the survival class. 432 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:54,480 Great. I need to talk to you. 433 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:58,360 If this is about that meat for the dogs, I didn't know it was stolen. 434 00:24:58,440 --> 00:25:01,560 I heard about that venison heist over my police scanner, same as everyone else. 435 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,520 No, I assumed it was stolen. 436 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,360 Grocery stores are giant corporate tax thieves anyway, 437 00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:07,960 putting small butchers out of business. 438 00:25:08,040 --> 00:25:11,560 I haven't set foot inside a Starbucks, any Starbucks, since they first opened. 439 00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:15,720 Yeah, 'cause you're a rebel who's smarter than everybody else. I got that. Listen! 440 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:18,160 I am going to have another baby. 441 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:21,480 Yeah, I can tell. You look like shit. 442 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:23,480 It was either that or leukemia. Could have both. 443 00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:25,880 No, I am not pregnant, you GI Joe crackhead. 444 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:29,080 I am going to have another baby, 445 00:25:29,480 --> 00:25:30,640 with a sperm donor. 446 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,120 You're gonna stick some pathetic random loser's spunk up yourself? 447 00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:38,480 Yeah. 448 00:25:38,560 --> 00:25:39,400 Yours. 449 00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,240 - What do you mean, mine? - Well, I've been thinking for some time 450 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:48,600 that, even though you are, by far, the worst human being that I have ever met 451 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,280 and I wish you a lifetime of pain and misery... 452 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:54,120 we somehow made the best kid. 453 00:25:55,800 --> 00:25:57,240 And she needs a sibling. 454 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:03,400 I knew this would happen. 455 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:05,800 You knew what would happen? 456 00:26:07,160 --> 00:26:09,240 - You want to get back on my dick. - Christ! No. 457 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,480 I've been to a fertility clinic. We would do it there. 458 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,360 Yeah, I'm gonna have expenses. 459 00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,640 You've dedicated your entire life to being a wanker, 460 00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,200 you might as well start getting paid for it. Fine. 461 00:26:20,800 --> 00:26:22,400 It's an interesting proposition, Kit. 462 00:26:23,760 --> 00:26:24,800 So is that a yes? 463 00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:28,760 I'm gonna need some time to talk it over with my legal team. 464 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:31,800 Great. 465 00:26:32,520 --> 00:26:33,520 Okay. 466 00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:35,200 They love me. 467 00:26:36,800 --> 00:26:38,680 Even when they hate me, they love me.