1
00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,280
He fell asleep
while I was sucking him off.

2
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,120
At first I thought he was dying,
but now I get it.

3
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:18,600
We've dwindled.

4
00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:22,480
And by "dwindled,"
I mean Tom's dick is under lock and key.

5
00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:23,720
You think he's cheating?

6
00:00:23,800 --> 00:00:26,200
If Tom were fucking someone else,
he'd be a lot more upbeat.

7
00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:27,480
I promise.

8
00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,240
- It just sounds like he's really unhappy.
- I hope so.

9
00:00:30,320 --> 00:00:32,880
Oh, yeah. They're over the moon
when they're banging someone new.

10
00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:34,720
This has probably reached its natural end.

11
00:00:34,800 --> 00:00:35,640
Stop that!

12
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:37,200
Well, ten years is a success.

13
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,160
If you're talking about
keeping a rabbit alive.

14
00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:40,120
It's not over.

15
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:42,640
Just to be safe,
I booked in for some lipo.

16
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:43,920
"To be safe?"

17
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,960
Will you pick me up on Thursday
at the usual place?

18
00:00:46,040 --> 00:00:48,240
Yeah. Blacked-out windows, sick bag.

19
00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:50,160
Count on me
to honor my vow as your best friend

20
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:52,080
to conceal surgery from your husband.

21
00:00:52,640 --> 00:00:55,960
I'll take you for your first tit lift
once the baby's born.

22
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:56,960
Oh, about that...

23
00:00:57,440 --> 00:00:59,720
- I've decided to keep Evan around.
- Great!

24
00:00:59,800 --> 00:01:02,360
- Until I'm showing.
- Don't.

25
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:03,560
With Shep's baby.

26
00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,600
Christ.

27
00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:13,520
Shep as the father
just makes the most practical sense.

28
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:17,080
And you think Evan
will happily agree to this, will he?

29
00:01:17,480 --> 00:01:21,360
You think it's practical to try for a baby
with your greatest enemy?

30
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:24,520
Yes. You don't hate them before the baby's
born. You hate them after anyway.

31
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,000
It's a business transaction.

32
00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,800
Poor, hot Evan.

33
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,280
Evan will be fine.

34
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,800
He would've lost interest
at some point anyway. They all do.

35
00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,320
We might as well enjoy men
as temporary figures

36
00:01:35,400 --> 00:01:37,920
and focus on what is best
for our children.

37
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,160
I thought that what was best
for my child

38
00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,920
was a stint at an arts college
in Switzerland.

39
00:01:43,400 --> 00:01:46,880
But he ran off with a German tranny
from the music program.

40
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:50,000
And now he spins records on poppers.

41
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:53,600
Well, we are very sorry to hear
that your son is a DJ, Maureen,

42
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,200
but we don't say "tranny," babe.

43
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:58,520
Would you girls like to hear his music?

44
00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,800
- No, we can't...
- Absolutely not.

45
00:02:11,320 --> 00:02:13,560
- You don't have to wait.
- I know. It's my pleasure.

46
00:02:13,640 --> 00:02:16,040
Okay. Well, he just wants to talk
about some Olive stuff.

47
00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,440
- I'll be as quick as I can.
- No rush. I've got an audio book.

48
00:02:18,520 --> 00:02:19,360
Okay.

49
00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:43,880
Hey.

50
00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:45,600
Take a seat, please.

51
00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:47,680
Don't touch anything.

52
00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:20,600
For my own legal protection, I've been
advised to record this conversation.

53
00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:22,600
Advised by whom? A talking serpent?

54
00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,840
You're very manipulative and it's
the best way to protect my assets.

55
00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:27,320
Oh, yeah, you got me.

56
00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:29,080
This whole "let's have another baby" thing

57
00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:33,240
isn't because Olive needs a sibling and I
desperately want my perineum re-torn.

58
00:03:33,320 --> 00:03:35,600
It's so I can trick you
out of half your nothing.

59
00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:38,240
- I've been advised...
- In a fucking fever dream.

60
00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:42,040
Tuesday evening, legacy agreement,

61
00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:44,240
meeting one. Subjects on the agenda:

62
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:49,120
Name, religion, conception style,
stud fee, hypnobirth...

63
00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,280
Hypnobirth?
You weren't even at Olive's birth.

64
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,800
- You went to motocross in Bucharest.
- And whose fault was that?

65
00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:57,000
Mine? Obama's? Amazon's?
One of your top three enemies.

66
00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:00,520
Petition A. If it's a boy,
he is to be called Ethos.

67
00:04:00,600 --> 00:04:03,400
You're not naming the baby. Not after
your suggestions for Olive's name.

68
00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,560
You wouldn't understand,
'cause you're not an artist.

69
00:04:05,640 --> 00:04:08,320
I am literally an artist,
and I'm not paying a stud fee

70
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,600
just so you can spend it
on ammunition and strippers.

71
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,720
Petition B. Stud fee.

72
00:04:12,800 --> 00:04:14,080
- Ten grand.
- Shep!

73
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,800
I never wanted kids in the first place.
I love the one we've got,

74
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:18,680
- but she's cost me a lot.
- Cost a lot of what?

75
00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,000
Precious hours you could've
spent smoking hash on a dinghy?

76
00:04:21,080 --> 00:04:23,080
- Cannabis is a tool.
- You're a tool.

77
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:24,480
What is it even for?

78
00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:27,840
It's for the grief counseling I'll need
after seeing your tired old gash again.

79
00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:29,960
I'm a pop star.
I'm used to much higher quality.

80
00:04:30,040 --> 00:04:32,760
Yeah? Well, while you've been
living down here like Julian Assange,

81
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,280
there have been advances in medicine,
so I can pay a doctor

82
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:36,840
and he can make a baby in a dish.

83
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,280
I know.

84
00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:40,280
- But we're fucking.
- We're fucking not!

85
00:04:40,360 --> 00:04:42,320
- You can fuck me like you hate me.
- I do hate you.

86
00:04:42,400 --> 00:04:43,640
Likewise. Think about it.

87
00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:46,000
A grudge-fuck might
let some steam off those feelings

88
00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:47,760
and ultimately make us better parents.

89
00:04:47,840 --> 00:04:49,280
Aw, is that Gina Ford?

90
00:04:49,360 --> 00:04:52,520
Petition C.
The baby is to be conceived naturally.

91
00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:56,600
No! No. I've got a perfectly qualified
reproductive endocrinologist...

92
00:04:56,680 --> 00:04:58,560
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Let me stop you there.

93
00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:01,640
No fucking way.
I do not trust western medicine.

94
00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,760
Doctors are a bunch of sick freaks
playing god with pseudo-science.

95
00:05:04,840 --> 00:05:06,320
That's an absolute deal-breaker.

96
00:05:06,400 --> 00:05:07,640
So you'd rather fuck me?

97
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:10,080
You'd really rather fuck me?

98
00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:12,360
Couldn't fuck you, no.

99
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,560
But...

100
00:05:14,640 --> 00:05:18,040
I might be able to fuck the version of you
that existed before I hated you.

101
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,000
Right.

102
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:21,440
Why are men so obsessed
with banging 20-year-olds?

103
00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:24,240
The only way this is gonna work
is role play.

104
00:05:24,320 --> 00:05:26,760
I have decided that this baby will be made

105
00:05:26,840 --> 00:05:30,040
under the exact same conditions
that Olive was made.

106
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,320
I'll be outside the stage door of the gig,

107
00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:35,480
you stagger into the alley
like the pathetic, skank groupie you were.

108
00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,120
Oh, yeah, okay, cool.

109
00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,200
And then you abandon me over and over

110
00:05:39,280 --> 00:05:42,120
when I'm poor and scared
and alone in a foreign country

111
00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,360
and I lean on Bev
and start a business to feed <i>your </i>child

112
00:05:45,440 --> 00:05:48,440
and make your daughter think
you're not the biggest cunt I've ever met.

113
00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:49,840
You're still annoyed about that?

114
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:55,200
Do you know what?

115
00:05:56,200 --> 00:05:57,160
I don't need this.

116
00:05:58,440 --> 00:05:59,360
I'm out.

117
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:02,120
Yeah, you're bluffin'.

118
00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,400
These are my requirements, kid,
and I ain't backing down.

119
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,480
Think it over. I'll have a hard copy
biked to your house.

120
00:06:08,960 --> 00:06:12,240
You don't have a bike! You don't have
a printer, Wolf of Wall Street.

121
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:14,600
You're an absolute crazy person.

122
00:06:15,800 --> 00:06:17,320
Er, Katherine!

123
00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:20,080
Einstein was a madman!

124
00:06:29,680 --> 00:06:30,600
- Hey.
- How'd it go?

125
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:33,640
Fine. It was fine.

126
00:06:36,600 --> 00:06:39,600
Did I ever tell you that when Olive was
born, he wanted to call her Garfield?

127
00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,320
- No.
- Yeah.

128
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:46,640
I mean, I've got a patient
called Hannibal, but Garfield is worse.

129
00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:52,280
- Will you take me for a drink?
- What about the babysitter?

130
00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,640
I'll keep her late. I just really wanna go
for a drink with you.

131
00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:57,720
Sure, babe.

132
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:20,880
Hi, Millie. It's nice to see you two girls
finally getting along.

133
00:07:22,760 --> 00:07:24,520
- Do you have any Coke?
- No!

134
00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,040
We can't have fizzy drinks.
They'll ruin our teeth.

135
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:28,440
What would Dr. Evan say?

136
00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:31,120
Since you're being so kind to Olive,
I'll make an exception.

137
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:32,880
There's Coke in the fridge.

138
00:07:36,080 --> 00:07:39,000
But she didn't even say please
or thank you.

139
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:40,160
She grunted.

140
00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:41,800
You've seen her parents.

141
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:44,320
Her parents have seen all of you
in those Polaroids.

142
00:07:44,400 --> 00:07:47,840
How much longer
will this enforced play-date continue?

143
00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:50,960
Like an hour? Just take her to your room
and play ponies.

144
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,640
You mean <i>our </i>room.

145
00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:55,200
No. Our room is my room.
Your room is your room.

146
00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:56,560
The room where all your toys are.

147
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,520
Oh, God, my toys!

148
00:08:04,840 --> 00:08:07,360
You think you've got one over
on that child's mother, don't you?

149
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:09,120
At what personal expense?

150
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,120
Now, you've sent naked pictures
of yourself to her husband,

151
00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:14,560
so the two of them,
plus Olive's headmaster,

152
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,080
have seen you with your kit off.

153
00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,080
And, on top of that, you're looking after
her shit kid for free.

154
00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:20,760
Only you could see that as a win.

155
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:22,920
I just think Olive needs more friends
her own age.

156
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:26,120
Yeah. It's almost like you shouldn't
be equals with a nine-year-old,

157
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,000
acting like you're sisters, sharing a bed.

158
00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,000
Lots of people share a bed
with their kids.

159
00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:33,000
Lots of Michael Jackson.
Literally no one else.

160
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,880
Well, I still think she should move out
at her own pace.

161
00:08:35,960 --> 00:08:37,080
Evan's spending the night

162
00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:39,920
and even he agrees it's best
for him to stay in her empty room.

163
00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:42,920
Your boyfriend is not staying
in a little girl's bedroom?

164
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,160
- Why not?
- You can't keep a man

165
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:48,640
in a chihuahua-filled pink playhouse,
sleeping with dolls,

166
00:08:48,720 --> 00:08:50,400
and still expect him to fuck you.

167
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,320
Oh, I expect him to <i>not </i>fuck me.

168
00:08:52,400 --> 00:08:54,440
I'm off the pill,
so I'm avoiding sex with him anyway.

169
00:08:54,520 --> 00:08:57,080
Well, if the fairy lights
don't castrate him,

170
00:08:57,160 --> 00:09:00,000
being stared out all night
by one of your little pocket dogs will.

171
00:09:09,120 --> 00:09:10,920
I haven't shared my best glitter markers

172
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,840
for you to be inappropriate
with them, Millie.

173
00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,160
I bet you've never even seen a willy.

174
00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:16,120
I have.

175
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,440
I know men have them
for weeing off the side of boats.

176
00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:21,400
Well, have you ever
walked in on your parents?

177
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:24,960
Yes, I walk in on my mum all the time.

178
00:09:26,840 --> 00:09:27,760
With your dad?

179
00:09:27,840 --> 00:09:30,360
With all sorts of people.
Sometimes with my dad.

180
00:09:30,800 --> 00:09:33,720
Sometimes with her friend Bev.
Mostly on her own.

181
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,800
Your mum is a tart.

182
00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,200
I beg your pardon!

183
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:39,880
She really needs
to get a lock on her door.

184
00:09:39,960 --> 00:09:43,400
Like my parents did
after I walked in on them having sex.

185
00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:48,480
Having sex?

186
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:50,480
Olive...

187
00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,600
don't you know where babies come from?

188
00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:57,680
Of course I do. When a mummy wants a baby,
the doctor tells her how old her eggs are

189
00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,000
and she picks blood from a book
to hatch one.

190
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,880
I'm going to need some more pens.

191
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:06,440
Let's see...

192
00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:07,600
<i>Open up.</i>

193
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:09,880
Hmm, your gums are bleeding.

194
00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:12,680
That's how I can tell
you haven't been doing it regularly.

195
00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:13,920
I'm telling you, man...

196
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,000
girls, they don't like bad breath, bro.

197
00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:19,720
It's all right. You've got time.
It took me ages to find the one.

198
00:10:20,240 --> 00:10:21,400
Oh, congratulations, brother.

199
00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:25,160
Yeah. I feel like I'm finally
making some headway with her.

200
00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,160
Gonna start spending the night.

201
00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:30,200
She's just got
a lot of challenging history, you know?

202
00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,480
Her kid's dad is complicated.

203
00:10:33,200 --> 00:10:36,520
Really put her through some hell
at one point. Trust issues, but...

204
00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:38,520
I'll show her she can count on me.

205
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,280
I'll make a fun dad, hey, Tyler?

206
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:43,960
About a year ago,
Leo told me I should walk away.

207
00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:45,120
What was it you said?

208
00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:48,320
That being with this woman
was like sitting at a slot machine,

209
00:10:48,400 --> 00:10:50,640
putting coins in, waiting for a windfall.

210
00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,960
A real man sticks around, Tyler.

211
00:10:53,040 --> 00:10:54,960
And you know the casino always wins,

212
00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,640
but you can't leave,
because, every once in a while,

213
00:10:57,720 --> 00:10:59,720
the game chucks you back a few coins.

214
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:00,760
All right, Leo. It's...

215
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:05,120
You think, "If I give up now, the next guy
who sits down is gonna hit the jackpot

216
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:07,400
and I will have wasted all this money."

217
00:11:09,320 --> 00:11:13,600
The lesson, Tyler, is this.
A single mother is never damaged goods.

218
00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:16,920
I'm gay.

219
00:11:17,440 --> 00:11:18,400
Oh, cool.

220
00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:20,280
Ah... Awesome.

221
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:22,400
Hey, thanks for sharing. That's great.

222
00:11:23,520 --> 00:11:25,440
- Fist bump? Well done, man.
- No.

223
00:11:26,480 --> 00:11:29,000
All right. Yeah, you... Totally... Mm-hmm.

224
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,680
What time did you get home
last night?

225
00:11:33,760 --> 00:11:34,840
Not too late.

226
00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:38,400
I went and ran some errands with Dr. Evan
and then we had a drink. Maybe 11.

227
00:11:38,480 --> 00:11:39,800
Eleven o'clock?

228
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:43,400
Who stays out until eleven o'clock
when they've got patients in the morning?

229
00:11:43,480 --> 00:11:45,360
And you trust this man with my teeth?

230
00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,400
What has been your problem all morning?

231
00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,280
I'm not the one who's got a problem.

232
00:11:49,360 --> 00:11:50,600
- Millie said...
- Olive!

233
00:11:50,680 --> 00:11:51,560
Never mind.

234
00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:57,520
- Hey, Jane.
- Doing the school run with a mug of tea?

235
00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,280
Look, Brian,
she's got a mug of tea.

236
00:12:00,360 --> 00:12:01,640
A mug from home.

237
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:03,320
It's pretty wild, yeah.

238
00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:07,080
I was over there, at home, drinking tea
and now I'm still drinking it.

239
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:09,400
Oh, you're such a free spirit.

240
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:13,240
Look at us, having a laugh.
This is what forgiveness is all about.

241
00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:14,240
Hmm. Yeah.

242
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:17,280
Katherine, um,
as a sort of a bonding exercise,

243
00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,400
I'm... I'm gonna confide in you now.

244
00:12:20,520 --> 00:12:21,960
Ever since I got sober,

245
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,720
I make a personal inventory
every time I've been wrong

246
00:12:24,800 --> 00:12:27,400
and I promptly make amends for it.

247
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,160
Well, I accept your apology.

248
00:12:30,240 --> 00:12:31,320
Oh, um...

249
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,240
Yeah, the photo... I mean...

250
00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:36,920
- Let's just draw a line under it.
- Okay.

251
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,000
Millie just can't stop talking about
what a wonderful time she had with Olive.

252
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,160
- Oh, great.
- A mug of tea from home?

253
00:12:42,240 --> 00:12:46,640
Yeah. It's an inside mug,
but you're seeing it outside. I know.

254
00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:49,560
Okay. Well, I really gotta go.

255
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,680
Let's get the girls together again soon
then.

256
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:54,880
Tea from home!

257
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,560
Have you ever had sex with my dad?

258
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:07,080
With what?

259
00:13:09,400 --> 00:13:12,480
You lied. Millie told me
where babies come from, and you lied.

260
00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:16,120
No. Babies can come from the fertility
clinic. That's a way to make babies.

261
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:19,000
But the doctor doesn't use blood.
He'd be using semen.

262
00:13:19,080 --> 00:13:21,480
Se... Semen can have blood in it,

263
00:13:21,560 --> 00:13:24,040
like if a man gets kicked in the nuts
or has an infection.

264
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:27,200
And did you and Dad go
to the fertility clinic to have me or...

265
00:13:28,520 --> 00:13:31,480
We... went to a concert...

266
00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,520
and you don't need to know the rest.

267
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:36,760
You had sex with my dad at a concert?

268
00:13:36,840 --> 00:13:38,920
That's so gross, Mum! That's so gross.

269
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,880
It's so gross! I was really drunk.

270
00:13:41,320 --> 00:13:42,880
Why would Millie tell you that?

271
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:44,880
It's not Millie's fault
that you're disgusting!

272
00:13:44,960 --> 00:13:48,040
<i>This </i>is why I didn't tell you about sex.
I knew I'd lose your respect.

273
00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:50,960
Mum, no, you're lying.
Say that you're lying!

274
00:13:51,040 --> 00:13:53,800
I've done a lot of things
I'm really ashamed of, but I'm better now.

275
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,960
- You embarrassed me in front of her.
- Well, she...

276
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,560
- I lied to you to protect you.
- Millie had to tell me.

277
00:13:58,640 --> 00:14:00,880
- Millie did not have to...
- I can't trust you anymore.

278
00:14:00,960 --> 00:14:02,600
I knew I shouldn't let Millie
in the house.

279
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:04,480
You know what? You're a tart!

280
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:06,200
- No! Wha...
- Hey, whoa, what's going on?

281
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,880
- What are you doing here?
- You didn't tell her I was sleeping over?

282
00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,920
So you can have sex again?

283
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,280
- Uhh...
- Olive!

284
00:14:12,640 --> 00:14:14,880
Dr. Evan's just gonna start
spending the night as a test.

285
00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:15,840
It's not a big deal.

286
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:18,520
I live here, too.
I should've been consulted.

287
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,000
This is so you can have sex.

288
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:21,640
You can't talk to your mother like that.

289
00:14:21,720 --> 00:14:22,840
You're not my dad.

290
00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:23,840
That was fast.

291
00:14:23,920 --> 00:14:25,480
And you're not my mother.

292
00:14:25,560 --> 00:14:27,720
I don't know when you started thinking
you were the boss,

293
00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:29,040
but you need to go to your room.

294
00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:32,000
You're going to have a new family
with a dentist and forget about me.

295
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,120
Olive.

296
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,680
I'm going to <i>our </i>room
and <i>you </i>will be sleeping there with me.

297
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:44,120
She's not normally like this.
She made a new friend.

298
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:47,760
And you can tell that clown
that I am not brushing my teeth tonight.

299
00:14:47,840 --> 00:14:49,800
She doesn't mean that.

300
00:14:52,920 --> 00:14:54,040
Hey, I, um...

301
00:14:55,640 --> 00:14:57,320
I brought over a few things to show you.

302
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:04,240
You brought me a baby picture of yourself
to show me?

303
00:15:04,320 --> 00:15:06,080
I noticed you keep a lot of them around.

304
00:15:06,560 --> 00:15:07,400
Of Olive.

305
00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:11,040
It's pretty cute.

306
00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:13,000
Yeah, I'm amazed
they even got one of me awake.

307
00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:15,120
You know, I was always just sleeping
and laughing,

308
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:18,360
not being sick at all.
That's my first day at school.

309
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:20,720
Oh, what's this? Oh!

310
00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,000
- Is that my report card?
- What's it doing in there?

311
00:15:25,040 --> 00:15:26,440
"Evan makes friends easily

312
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,960
and is a natural leader in the classroom."

313
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:30,240
Wow.

314
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,960
You know, my mum was the only one in her
friendship circle that didn't need Valium.

315
00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:39,400
I should go check on Olive.
I don't want her going to sleep angry.

316
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,560
- Sure you don't mind sleeping in her room?
- Of course.

317
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,400
I just want you two girls
to be comfortable.

318
00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:58,520
Me holding my friend's kid.

319
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:02,200
I'll just leave it there.

320
00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:20,600
You cleaned the kitchen.

321
00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:25,320
It's true.

322
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:27,680
I had a wild first night.

323
00:16:27,760 --> 00:16:29,880
- How's Olive?
- Unrepentant and asleep.

324
00:16:47,600 --> 00:16:48,720
Mmm, I can't.

325
00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:49,720
Um...

326
00:16:49,800 --> 00:16:50,960
I... I'm on my period.

327
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,720
I thought you said before
real gangsters run red lights?

328
00:16:54,640 --> 00:16:55,600
I was kidding.

329
00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:56,920
Oh, seriously, I don't mind.

330
00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,440
Especially since you've had it
for, like, three weeks?

331
00:16:59,960 --> 00:17:02,480
Well, I just came in here
to make out a bit and...

332
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,120
suck you off?

333
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:06,120
Okay.

334
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,400
Whatever, let's just have sex.
My jaw really hurts.

335
00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,080
Okay.

336
00:17:52,800 --> 00:17:54,640
Actually, no, wait, stop. Um...

337
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:57,560
I'm just really distracted.
I'm worried about Bev's surgery tomorrow.

338
00:17:57,640 --> 00:18:00,480
- Can we just...
- Maybe you could just finish on me?

339
00:18:01,840 --> 00:18:04,360
- Um...
- Please. I'm really tired.

340
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:06,920
Okay.

341
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:16,800
So, like,
tomorrow's just this routine procedure

342
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:20,000
where they inject tumescent fluid
into the fat cells to break them apart,

343
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:21,960
then they suck them out
and then put them back,

344
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,480
- just wherever you need volume.
- Yeah.

345
00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:25,480
Last time Bev did it,
they got a liter and a half.

346
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,320
That's crazy. She's thin already.

347
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:30,440
- Hey, can we just...
- Bev's thin because she gets lipo.

348
00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:33,280
Oh, we can't tell Tom, but she never said
I had to keep it from you.

349
00:18:33,360 --> 00:18:36,000
Maybe you could pick us up?
Then we wouldn't have to take a cab back.

350
00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:37,040
Yeah, I, um...

351
00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,960
I've gotta fit a crown after lunch,

352
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:41,280
but, uh, it's pretty important
in terms of...

353
00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:43,240
...uh, restoring the...

354
00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:44,160
...function.

355
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,600
I'd feel bad if I moved it, so...

356
00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:47,680
I could come after.

357
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,120
Or you could come now.

358
00:18:50,240 --> 00:18:51,120
Here.

359
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:03,200
Oh, my God, you cleaned up in here, too?

360
00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:04,360
Wow.

361
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:08,240
You are, like, so good looking
and funny and nice.

362
00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:09,600
You're a real catch.

363
00:19:10,200 --> 00:19:12,080
Maybe we should have sex.

364
00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:22,160
Good night.

365
00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:23,520
- What?
- I'm going to my room.

366
00:19:37,160 --> 00:19:40,440
No, darling, you shouldn't have put
all your trucks in the toilet.

367
00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,480
Put Daddy on again, please,
and I'll speak to you after dinner.

368
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,480
What's going on?

369
00:19:49,560 --> 00:19:51,240
Well, talk to him, Tom.

370
00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:54,200
Find out who's teaching him
words like "dirty protest."

371
00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:56,200
All right, I'll see you tonight.

372
00:19:58,240 --> 00:19:59,200
Love you.

373
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,000
Hey. How are you feeling?

374
00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:04,040
A bit of pain in my chest.

375
00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:06,480
It's from the breathing tube.
It's always the worst of it.

376
00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:09,440
Oh, my God, get this. Jane is in AA.

377
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,360
- There goes the second A.
- I saw her with Brian

378
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:15,480
and the rat child,
and she apologized to me.

379
00:20:15,560 --> 00:20:18,040
How funny would it be
if she started drinking again?

380
00:20:20,720 --> 00:20:22,840
Oh, shit.

381
00:20:26,320 --> 00:20:28,640
Shit.
I feel like I'm gonna die.

382
00:20:28,720 --> 00:20:30,200
That's not funny, you cunt.

383
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:33,360
Bollocks.

384
00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:34,920
I can't breathe.

385
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,920
My boys.

386
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,400
Calling "Where's Mum?"

387
00:20:40,080 --> 00:20:42,040
Are you okay? Okay, all right.

388
00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:44,640
- Can we have some help in here?
- Breathe.

389
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,360
- I need you to wait outside, please.
- No. Bev?

390
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:48,600
Breathe!

391
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:50,720
- I need you to wait outside.
- I didn't mean it.

392
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,240
Bev?

393
00:20:53,600 --> 00:20:55,400
Hey, what's going on?

394
00:20:57,080 --> 00:20:58,200
I called her a cunt.

395
00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:22,080
What's an embolism?

396
00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:24,800
Well, when you're having
a routine fat transfer,

397
00:21:24,880 --> 00:21:28,480
sometimes they put it back too deep and
it forms a clot that travels to the lungs.

398
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:31,480
That's why, when you're older,
it's so important

399
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,920
that you only choose
the best plastic surgeon.

400
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,720
Why didn't Auntie Bev
have the best doctor?

401
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,600
She did,
but he was abusing amphetamines.

402
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,760
How many days are you going to be
dressing like a witch for?

403
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,640
For as long as I'm in mourning.

404
00:21:46,040 --> 00:21:47,160
But, Mummy...

405
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,440
Bev's still alive.

406
00:21:48,520 --> 00:21:49,960
Yeah, Bev pulled through, luckily,

407
00:21:50,040 --> 00:21:53,280
but my mind went straight to the grief
and then immediately to the outfit.

408
00:21:54,720 --> 00:21:57,080
Who would look after me if you died?

409
00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:01,440
Well, I guess your dad
would have to give it his best shot.

410
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,720
And... And would Daddy
look after our baby, too?

411
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:07,320
No, not unless he was the baby's dad.

412
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:18,160
I think you'd better try extra hard
to stay alive.

413
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,120
Maybe leave all your fat where it is.

414
00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:22,720
Aww, that's not realistic, is it, honey?

415
00:22:22,800 --> 00:22:23,760
Ooh la la!

416
00:22:23,840 --> 00:22:26,400
<i>Bonjour, </i>Celine Dion. Who died?

417
00:22:26,480 --> 00:22:27,680
Daddy!

418
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,280
Aunt Bev <i>almost </i>died, Daddy.

419
00:22:30,400 --> 00:22:32,640
Thanks for saying I'm like Celine Dion.

420
00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:34,840
What are amphetamines, Dad?

421
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:37,160
They're incredible.
What happened to Bev?

422
00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:38,680
She had an operation.

423
00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,280
So Mum got her black clothes
out of the cellar, because she's sad.

424
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:42,720
I've got to go.

425
00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,120
Thank you.

426
00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:53,960
- Bev didn't die.
- She died for a minute.

427
00:22:54,040 --> 00:22:55,760
- Imagine needing attention that bad.
- Hey,

428
00:22:55,840 --> 00:22:57,520
I am fucking sad.

429
00:22:57,600 --> 00:22:59,120
- If I die...
- Nobody died.

430
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:00,760
<i>If </i>I died...

431
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:03,240
before you, I mean,
which would be so unfair,

432
00:23:03,320 --> 00:23:05,800
considering you're a junkie
who's had syphilis at least twice...

433
00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:07,320
<i>Beat </i>syphilis twice. Go on.

434
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:09,800
I would want my children to stay together.

435
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,280
You think I'm gonna keep my favorite
and sell the other one?

436
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:14,360
Ideally, you'll be dismembered
in a boating accident

437
00:23:14,440 --> 00:23:16,760
and the children and I will be free
to get on with our lives.

438
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,960
In any case, you've got a deal.

439
00:23:20,880 --> 00:23:25,440
To secure my children's future together,
I will agree to the terms of the...

440
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,160
...legacy agreement.

441
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:31,240
The name?

442
00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:32,960
The ten grand?

443
00:23:33,600 --> 00:23:34,440
The...

444
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:36,880
natural conception?

445
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:40,200
- Assuming your dick still works.
- Oh, my dick works.

446
00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:41,800
That's one of you with a job then.

447
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:43,880
Fuck you, motherfucker.
I wish I trusted doctors.

448
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:45,960
This is gonna be
the greatest sacrifice of my life.

449
00:23:46,040 --> 00:23:48,360
You think?
Welcome to parenthood, shit-hawk!