1
00:00:02,252 --> 00:00:04,421
And I don't know
       if you can see the edging

2
00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:06,089
on this bow.

3
00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:07,674
These are the kinds of little
       details that we're seeing

4
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,759
out of all of
       the big fashion houses

5
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,678
in Paris, in Milan.

6
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,638
You know, these are, these are
      those incredible details

7
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,641
that make you go, "Okay,
    there is literally no reason

8
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:17,851
to ever go to Europe

9
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:19,310
when you can get
         fashions like this

10
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:20,854
right out of your
           very own home."

11
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,689
Uh, that's great, Joanna.

12
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:25,025
Patricia wants you
       to mention your condition.

13
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,152
A-And look at this
           paprika spice.

14
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,236
Don't we just love? 

15
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,696
Hey, Joanna.

16
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:31,031
Yeah, Patricia wants you
            to talk about

17
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,365
your cancer again, so...

18
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,367
-mention your cancer.

19
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:39,539
And I have to tell you,
        my gals and my girls,

20
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,667
if I can just be real
            for a moment,

21
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,544
um, as I said before,

22
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,048
I'm currently fighting cancer.

23
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,383
And there is just something

24
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:53,470
about a chic, sleek,
        sophisticated top...

25
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:56,890
This girl's
      gonna make me a fortune.

26
00:00:56,931 --> 00:01:00,226
Look at these fucking numbers.

27
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:04,397
Literally these numbers.

28
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,233
We've got
       the Dalmatian, that really

29
00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:09,569
creamy white
         with the black edging.

30
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:12,739
Why are you hovering?
           Stop hovering.

31
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,157
I know.

32
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:17,744
Standing over you
        like a psycho. Um...

33
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,829
So, um...

34
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:23,208
I know you don't love it when
 people ask for time off of work,

35
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:25,752
but, um, the weekend
            of the 15th,

36
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,879
my friend Heesok invited me

37
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,130
to Martha's Vineyard.

38
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,256
He got a plus-one
         to Graydon Carter's

39
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:31,633
barn-warming.

40
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,967
He's the former editor
           of   Vanity Fair.

41
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,886
Yeah, I know who he is.

42
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:38,723
Founding Father-looking
       motherfucker. 

43
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,433
You ever been
        to Martha's Vineyard?

44
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,269
-Oh, my God, no.
                -Mm.

45
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:44,437
...and I've
        never been to France but

46
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,356
I do wish to go one day.

47
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,775
And then we've got...

48
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:53,279
It's so snobby,
           you'll love it.

49
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,406
Oh, my God. 

50
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,492
Thank you so much.
        That rocks. 

51
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:58,785
Now, which one of these tops

52
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,370
is lifting your spirits
              today, Barb?

53
00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:02,122
People love this

54
00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,915
sob story shit.

55
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,042
I know, right?
     It's like, give me a break,

56
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,878
but also it is sad.

57
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,300
But you did have it. You did.

58
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:15,802
You had cancer.

59
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,428
I know, but, Mom...

60
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,139
She's saying she has it now.
      She doesn't have it now.

61
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:20,306
Dad, okay, stop yelling.

62
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:21,474
I'm the only one not yelling.

63
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:22,976
But you are being combative.

64
00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:24,435
By pointing out that she lied?

65
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,229
-That's what she did.
        -She is just selling

66
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,940
blouses on TV,
        she's not under oath.

67
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,692
Can we stop? Stop.

68
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:36,156
What do you need, Joanna?

69
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,824
I-I... 

70
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,577
I just want someone
       to tell me what to do.

71
00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:42,954
Joey, remember at Costco

72
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,664
when Esther in produce
           admitted she stole

73
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,332
a bunch of shrimp
        for her family reunion?

74
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,543
Did I fire her? No.

75
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,462
I said, "Here's a good person
          who made a mistake."

76
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,381
You're a human being.
            You screwed up.

77
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,216
It'll all be okay.

78
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,177
I think I have to
           tell the truth.

79
00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:59,220
lighthearted, pensive music

80
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:13,860
Oh, my great goodness.
   I heard everything. Come here.

81
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,195
Come on. Big hug.

82
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,614
-Oh... -Oh, thank you.

83
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,282
Oh, dear Jesus.

84
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,534
You're not gonna take
            this one yet.

85
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,536
She's got too much to do.
          She's a fighter.

86
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,372
In your name we pray, amen.

87
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:27,790
Thank you.

88
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,209
You're so welcome.
      You want to take a seat?

89
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,835
Oh, I can just sit
           on these boxes.

90
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,046
No, absolutely not.
    Absolutely not, precious one.

91
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,797
You're gonna sit right here.
     Hey, Janet? 

92
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,299
Shake a leg.

93
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,009
She got cancer and needs a seat.
            There you go.

94
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,052
Okay.

95
00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:42,055
Shoot me your name
           one more time?

96
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:43,056
Joanna.

97
00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,266
Okay, so let's start.

98
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,937
This week we're celebrating

99
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,563
30 years of Jackie Stilton.

100
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,232
She's brought over 200,000
            amazing products

101
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:54,442
into your living room,
       with her number one show,

102
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:55,860
Beautiful You,
          the longest running,

103
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,528
best-selling program
             in the history

104
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,197
of the Special Value Network.

105
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,698
Hi, my name is Jackie Stilton

106
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,867
and thank you so much
            for welcoming me

107
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,327
into your home.

108
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,995
-Oh, my God.
    -I'm Jackie Stilton

109
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,580
and welcome to   Beautiful You.
           I'm Jackie Stilton

110
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:08,790
and welcome to   Beautiful You

111
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,458
from Orlando, Florida.

112
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,001
I'm Jackie Stilton and welcome
           to   Beautiful You.

113
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,586
This is an exact replica

114
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:16,339
of the engagement ring
          that Prince Charles

115
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,840
gave to Princess Diana.

116
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,051
What a perfect couple.

117
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:23,012
This is one of those pieces
          that's a must-have.

118
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,265
All of my colors here today

119
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,724
are stun-ning.

120
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,101
And this week we celebrate

121
00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:29,852
Jackie's 30th anniversary.

122
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,688
We watch you every week

123
00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:34,023
down here in Tallahassee.

124
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,942
Happy Jackiversary, Jackie!

125
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,568
I never miss your show!

126
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,112
Happy Jackiversary, Jackie,

127
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:40,697
from all of us at SVN.

128
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:42,699
Enjoy up to 30% all week
        using the checkout code

129
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,784
"Jackiversary."
          Restrictions apply.

130
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,412
Not valid in Hawaii, California
        or Alaska. Not valid...

131
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,832
Love you!

132
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:57,088
My dear, late friend
            Bernie Madoff

133
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,632
used to say, "Certain people

134
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:02,176
just have 'it.'"

135
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,804
Well, I knew Jackie had "it"

136
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,556
from the moment we met
          in her audition.

137
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:09,851
-Congrats on 30 years, baby.
             -Thank you.

138
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,272
Thank you so much, Patricia.

139
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,024
And thank you to all of you.

140
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:19,819
I love you so much. You really
       are like family to me.

141
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,487
And, Joanna,

142
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,489
I just want to say,
           with everything

143
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,491
that you're going through,
        we are here for you.

144
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,410
Oh, I...

145
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,329
I thank... And I thank you.

146
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:32,123
Welcome. Anyhow,

147
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,668
cheers. Chin, chin to me!

148
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,132
Hey, hey, hey. Hey.
           That's enough.

149
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,759
All right.

150
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,762
Now, we will be gathering
       interviews from you all

151
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:47,847
for more Jackiversary promos

152
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:48,973
running all week.

153
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,475
-Beena?
                -Oh.

154
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,643
To celebrate Jackie,
       we have canned mojitos

155
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,020
from Cocktails of the Month.

156
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,230
Please only take one
         and sign the sheet.

157
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:58,191
And if you're not gonna
       take one, that's fine,

158
00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,568
we still need you
    to indicate it on the sheet.

159
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,111
Oh, and also, please write
        the last four digits

160
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,822
of the SKU number on your can
         next to your name.

161
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,033
Those are those little numbers
      right under the barcode.

162
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:10,286
Absolutely no social media.
      Congratulations, Jackie!

163
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:17,210
Pull the
      Mulch Prince leaf blowers

164
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:21,839
and bump the citronella tikis
         to clearance, yes?

165
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,842
-Can I help you?
          -Can I help you?

166
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,512
Um, I wanted to see if I could

167
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,889
speak with you for a-a moment.

168
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,808
Oh, well, if you want
      a meeting with Patricia,

169
00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:33,643
-you have to schedule through...
      -No, no, no. No, no, no.

170
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:36,020
It's okay. Let's talk.

171
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,647
Uh...

172
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,442
Um...

173
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,579
So, how are you feeling?

174
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,915
Well, okay. You know,

175
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,750
physically, I'm hashtag living.

176
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,001
Yeah, hashtag "I'm Lovin' It."

177
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,962
Boo, doo, poom, poom, poom!
                Yeah.

178
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,256
Let's all go down
          to the Mickey D's

179
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:04,966
and get some cheeseburgers.

180
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,551
Um, but,

181
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,761
uh, emotionally,
 I kind of wanted to talk to you.

182
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,388
Your numbers

183
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,432
for the Vera Nash line
           were excellent.

184
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:14,809
You even sold out
          of the ugly one.

185
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:17,520
People are really connecting
       with your cancer story.

186
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,730
Yeah. Um, you know,

187
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,607
that's kind of what I wanted to

188
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,235
connect, um, to...
           a-and with you

189
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,112
about at this meeting

190
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,781
that is today and now.

191
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,366
I thought,

192
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,452
maybe I don't talk about
    the cancer anymore, you know?

193
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,203
Because, this is crazy,
            okay, just...

194
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,539
What if my story is...

195
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:39,459
My grandparents
        are Jewish immigrants

196
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,294
from Poland, and we

197
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:42,795
looked it up
        on a trip to Israel,

198
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,088
and I actually

199
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,424
come from a long line
          of upholsterers--

200
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,969
Joanna,
      we'll go with the cancer.

201
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,141
We're gonna do everything we can

202
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,976
to make you comfortable.

203
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:59,187
Maybe you need
       a bigger dressing room.

204
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:02,064
We could always swap her out
           with Beth Ann.

205
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,316
What?

206
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,401
You got a problem with that?

207
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,695
No. I think yeah.

208
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,239
Give her Beth Ann's room
         'cause it's bigger.

209
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,908
That's not necessary.

210
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:14,327
All right, Darcy,
   make sure she's taken care of.

211
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:15,870
Yes.

212
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,247
Go ahead, sweetie.

213
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,666
-Eat a Rolo.
          -Oh. Are you s...

214
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:22,835
Okay.

215
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,803
I'm almost positive
         I was clear on this

216
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,889
when we met, but in
      the off chance I wasn't,

217
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,724
typically, if you do want
      a meeting with Patricia,

218
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:37,975
you would schedule that
             through me.

219
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,769
-Okay.
     -Instead of just walking up

220
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,479
to her like you're two humans
         on the same level,

221
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,772
you know what I mean?

222
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,690
Oh, hey, Joanna,
        did you get a chance

223
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:46,275
to finish your start paperwork?

224
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,860
Kind of in the middle
      of something here, Beena.

225
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,695
Oh, I-I'm sorry, Darcy.

226
00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:50,988
I actually had a quick question
            for you, too.

227
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,782
-Mm-hmm?
     -Can you fuck the hell off?

228
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:55,034
-Why don't you go fuck off?
         -Oh, why don't you

229
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,119
-lick shit and die, Darcy.
      -Go fuck yourself, Beena.

230
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:58,704
Oh, you want to fuck around
     and find out, motherfucker?

231
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,540
-Fuck you!
           -Oh, fuck you!

232
00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:03,084
So, it's like
           Patricia said,

233
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:05,753
whatever you need,
 please don't hesitate to ask me.

234
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,256
Seriously. It's my pleasure
        to take care of you.

235
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:09,590
Um, no, I'm fine.

236
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,092
Really, I don't want
         special treatment.

237
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,636
-Joanna, you're sick.
            -No, I'm not.

238
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,429
You're not sick?

239
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,807
Oh, no, I am, but sick...
             I am sick,

240
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,392
but I don't want
          anything special.

241
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,269
Okay. You hang in there, okay?

242
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,770
Okay.

243
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,523
Oh, actually,
        um, I think I noticed

244
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,983
Nutri-Grain bars in the meeting.

245
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,151
Um, maybe one
       of those would be nice.

246
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,486
I-I skipped breakfast,

247
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:31,862
so...

248
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,073
Okay, diva, you got it.

249
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:40,121
Fuck a fucking duck in a rug.

250
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,917
Dude, everyone here
        is completely insane,

251
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,711
-except for you.
         -I know.

252
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,087
Like, Joanna just now was like,

253
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,423
"Yo, I need Nutri-Grain bars,
             like, now!"

254
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,425
And it's like, don't get me
    wrong, like, I feel for her,

255
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:55,886
but, like, I'm sorry, since when
      do I have to babysit her?

256
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,763
Like, why is this being
       hoisted onto my plate,

257
00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:00,766
-you know what I mean?
       -Darcy, she has cancer.

258
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:02,685
A hundred percent.

259
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,937
And I hate that.

260
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,279
lighthearted music

261
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,456
We got a very special caller
             calling in.

262
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,458
It is Mama St. James.

263
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,293
Good morning to you,
       my darling mother dear.

264
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,128
Good morning, son.

265
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,796
You know I love seeing you
         cooking up some grub,

266
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:32,465
so I just had to call.

267
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,468
Well, Mama, who do you think
       I learned it from? You!

268
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,595
I'm telling y'all, I was wearing
         this woman's aprons

269
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,431
and baking cakes since
     I was knee-high. 

270
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,807
Well, if you're cooking it,

271
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,267
I know it's good, son.

272
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,977
Oh, I love you to bits,
           my darling one.

273
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,271
I'll see you at church
          on Sunday. Mwah.

274
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,274
That's it for   moi.
      Adios to all my lovelies.

275
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,193
We'll see you next time
         on   Kitchen Corner.

276
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:55,821
And, hey, check me out
 on Facebook and the TikTok, huh?

277
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,490
-Clear.
            -Cute, Perry.

278
00:10:57,531 --> 00:11:00,326
I need you for the Jackiversary
       thing real quick, okay?

279
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,078
What to say about my Jackie?

280
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:04,413
Honey, you have been with me
       through all my hairdos

281
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,415
and my hair-don'ts,
       but I'll tell you what,

282
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:09,794
you're the only ponytail
        I want to yank. Bad!

283
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,755
Happy Jackiversary. 

284
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,260
I'm going again
     right-right away. I just...

285
00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,596
I didn't, I didn't like it.
     Come on, bud. You got this.

286
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,348
-I thought it was fine.
      -Well, well...

287
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,684
I'm the one who's
      on camera, honey. Ready?

288
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:25,976
I'm gonna pop up into it.

289
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,062
Jackie Stilton
        is literally an icon.

290
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,815
She started working here
       before I was even born.

291
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,191
Isn't that wild?

292
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,860
I love you, Jackie.
        I'm so proud of you.

293
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,737
Happy Jackiversity.

294
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,365
You said "Jackiversity."
        It's "Jackiversary."

295
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,866
Like anniversary.

296
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:43,536
Jackiversity.
         That's what I said.

297
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:44,995
I need to talk to you.

298
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:48,207
Going out of my mind.
             Okay, so...

299
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,710
what you need to know is,
    in the meeting this morning,

300
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,754
Patricia, like, floated the idea

301
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,756
of Joanna getting
         your dressing room.

302
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,217
-Are you fucking kidding me?
               -Stop.

303
00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,802
I've worked here
          for three years.

304
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,846
I work harder
       than anybody else here.

305
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,556
I work my little asshole off.

306
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:04,724
What did you say to her?

307
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:06,517
Obviously, I said,
           "By no means."

308
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,561
Are you kidding me?
     I always go to bat for you.

309
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:11,313
--Beth Ann,

310
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:12,565
don't be upset.

311
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,944
We're upset.

312
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,822
We're upset today.

313
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,575
For 30 years,
    I've been guided by one idea,

314
00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:25,035
that I'm not just here
       to sell you something,

315
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,413
I'm here to make
          your life better

316
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,039
because life is complicated.

317
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,584
Take it from me,
       I'm recently divorced.

318
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,377
I know how important it can be

319
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,464
just to have that little special
    something arrive in the mail.

320
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:39,425
Yeah. Amazing.
       Incredible. Effortless.

321
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,552
Let's just do one without
     the divorce mention. Cool.

322
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,555
Oh. Patty, why?

323
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,557
Can we keep it? I like it.

324
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,267
She wants
     to chat with you about it.

325
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:51,270
-Oh. Really?
           -Yeah.

326
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,230
-Okay, we can cut.

327
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,279
Oh. Hey, Mama.

328
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,072
Oh, hey, Beth Ann.

329
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:07,453
Ugh, I know it sucks
          not having a sink

330
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,288
in your dressing room.
 You have to come in here to wash

331
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:12,416
your dirty mug, but, look,
          sinks are kind of

332
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,794
for more senior people.
   Don't ask me why. It's so dumb.

333
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,545
-Yeah.
              -I heard

334
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:19,548
that Patricia was, like,
   mentioning us switching rooms?

335
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,383
Which is like, I love the idea.

336
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:24,220
I think other people
           would be like,

337
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:25,554
"What?"

338
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:28,224
Oh, don't worry.
 I don't want your dressing room.

339
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:29,266
Totally. Yeah.

340
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:31,143
-Do you have a tampon?
                -Oh.

341
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:34,480
I don't... No. I don't have
       a tampon on me. Sorry.

342
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,315
I go through so many tampons.

343
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,733
There's, like,
      nowhere in this bathroom

344
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,318
to put your tampon
           while you pee.

345
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,778
What?

346
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,987
There's no shelf

347
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,614
in the stall.

348
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:47,993
To put your tampon when you have
   to take it out so you can pee.

349
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,954
Oh, you don't have to...

350
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,664
-How was your Rolo?
               -What?

351
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:54,375
Patricia seems to, like,
   love you, which is so amazing.

352
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:55,626
It's actually, like,

353
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,545
messed up that she was
         about to fire you,

354
00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,922
and then you were like,
          "I have cancer!"

355
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,007
And now you're here.

356
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:03,551
That's, like, wild.

357
00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,680
slow, tense music

358
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,529
-You really can tell

359
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:27,324
when something is missing
       that mark of authenticity.

360
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,784
Oh, you can?

361
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,536
All of our fauxs are made

362
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,538
by our master floral artist

363
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,874
who recreates English roses

364
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,876
petal by petal

365
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:39,169
for our plastics factory
             in Panama.

366
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:42,339
Wow. That is just incredible.
          Now, just to ask,

367
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,300
even if you look at it up close,

368
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:46,844
you can't really tell
    that these are faux, can you?

369
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,430
There is no
        detectable difference

370
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:50,931
to the human eye.

371
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:54,018
So there's no risk of getting
      caught by your coworkers?

372
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,437
-I don't think so.
     -You don't think there is?

373
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:59,857
Or you know for a fact
    that there isn't? 

374
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,442
I know?

375
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:03,777
Look at you.

376
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,907
I'm so goddamn proud of you.

377
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,533
30 years.

378
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,951
-Has it really been that long?

379
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,202
30 fucking years is right.

380
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,580
You just getting started, baby.

381
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,789
You're the shit,

382
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:17,499
and don't you forget it.

383
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:19,001
Cheers, baby.

384
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,587
-Cheer... Eye contact.

385
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,130
Ah.

386
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,927
-So, about the divorce.
                -Yes.

387
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,762
I don't think we need
          to bring it out.

388
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,555
What do you mean,
           "bring it out"?

389
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:35,059
I don't think we need
        to bring the divorce

390
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,186
out on the air, darling.

391
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,771
Why?

392
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:40,564
-Hey.
              -Oh, hey.

393
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,901
Uh, so Darcy said you wanted
       some Nutri-Grain bars.

394
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,611
Not to put you on blast, but...

395
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,363
I thought we could do
           so much better.

396
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:49,114
We got some
      dark chocolate pretzels,

397
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:51,951
Utz potato chips, Babybels,

398
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,495
and, uh, oh,
       took a big swing here,

399
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:55,621
coffee syrups.

400
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,790
Oh, my living fuck.

401
00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,875
Jordan, I love flavored coffee.

402
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,336
Uh, yeah, uh,   Haselnuss,   right?

403
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,047
-I don't...
     -It's German for hazelnut.

404
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,382
-Oh,   Haselnuss.
      -Sorry. Yeah. 

405
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:09,051
-Such an international man.
             -Eh, well.

406
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,803
I can't wait to munch
       on all of these snacks.

407
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:14,515
I mean, this little piggy
     loves to oink, oink, oink.

408
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,227
I got you a, uh,
       speaker, too, you know?

409
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,020
-Oh.
   -And if you ever get stressed,

410
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,272
I have a really good
        playlist for anxiety.

411
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,775
Wait,
     what are you anxious about,

412
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,486
Mr. Perfect Per...son?

413
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,155
Oh, God. I mean,
       lots of shit, you know?

414
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,616
Like, climate change, racism,

415
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,452
do people like me? Mostly
     just anything that exists.

416
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,621
I'm very fun.

417
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,834
Well, um, I get it.

418
00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:44,628
I have anxiety, too, and, um,

419
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,839
some people might call me
         a total whack job.

420
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:47,965
Psychopath.

421
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,258
-No, no.

422
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:53,095
Um, but, anyways,

423
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:54,680
I just want to say thank you

424
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:57,182
for this very luxe spread.

425
00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:58,934
-Yeah.
           -It's very, um,

426
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,352
chivalrous of you.

427
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,272
Well, I know that
       you're, uh, you know...

428
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,774
You're dealing with...
      what you're dealing with.

429
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:08,152
And, uh, just wanted to say,

430
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,862
"We got you," you know?

431
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,780
-Right.
            -Fuck cancer.

432
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,532
-Right.
                -Oh.

433
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,492
-Absolutely. Fuck it. Fuck...
       -Sorry, that's... Yeah.

434
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:16,994
Anyway, so anything we can do
    to make you more comfortable,

435
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,288
just let me know, all right?

436
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:21,081
-Thank you so much.
             -All right.

437
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,708
I got to get back
         on the floor, uh...

438
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,168
-Okay.
           -Anything else,

439
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:26,879
-just let me know.
       -Okay.   Merci, monsieur.

440
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,298
Uh... I only speak
           German. Sorry.

441
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:32,217
Au revoir.

442
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,058
People tune in to see the Jackie

443
00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:41,393
they've been watching
            for decades.

444
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,353
-Mm. Yeah.
       -She's hip. She's cool.

445
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,189
Best friend in a leather jacket.

446
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,524
-Yes.
        -Drives a Mazda Miata

447
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:51,236
-and has it all together.

448
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,656
I still drive a Mazda Miata.

449
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:57,326
People love Jackie
           and Marty, hmm?

450
00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,911
Mm-hmm. Right, but...

451
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:01,580
Ah-ah. I don't think
     we want to fuck with that.

452
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,541
Right, but I don't love
          Jackie and Marty.

453
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,294
I just want to be real
   with people, you know? I mean,

454
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,754
I was actually thinking
             it would be

455
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,839
-an empowering thing for women.
              -Jackie,

456
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:14,468
Santa Claus might have issues
          with Mrs. Claus,

457
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,345
but we don't want
          to hear about it.

458
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,138
We just want it to be Christmas.

459
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,224
You know what I'm saying.

460
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:22,976
Huh, that's a good point.

461
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,728
I don't even want
        to think about that.

462
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,230
-I love Christmas.
                -Mm.

463
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,689
So, we're good?

464
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:30,234
-Yeah.
                -Mm.

465
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,780
-Yeah, we're good.

466
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:36,782
Okay.

467
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:44,790
Just... Doesn't it bother
       you that it's not true?

468
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:50,462
slow, tense music

469
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,133
The Joy of You   is bringing

470
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:57,469
this new varietal, the
 Queen Anne's Rose, and just feel

471
00:18:57,511 --> 00:19:01,014
-how silky soft the petals are.

472
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:03,851
Geez... Fuck.

473
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:05,644
Joanna?

474
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,604
Oh, hey. How are you?

475
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,565
Eh. I'm so-so.

476
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,277
Oh, my God.

477
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:16,738
Your dressing room is awful.

478
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,907
That is so mean of them.

479
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,951
You know, I'm making it work.

480
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,620
Hey, would you want to go do
    something really fun with me?

481
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,294
Oh, my God.

482
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,963
I know.

483
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:36,592
I just come in here sometimes
          just to think and

484
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:40,345
be peaceful if I'm having
          a stressful day.

485
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,100
Hmm. Did you know that I went
     to the Sistine Chapel once,

486
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,643
and I felt nothing,

487
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,021
but when I come
         in here... 

488
00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:50,856
-it's my heaven.

489
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:54,359
Oh, my God, is this
    a Guernsey & Dorn Maxi Dress?

490
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:56,153
With the lilac knife pleat.

491
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,196
They don't make that anymore.

492
00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:58,655
-Come over here.

493
00:19:58,697 --> 00:19:59,948
Okay.

494
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,867
I was thinking about

495
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,952
everything you're going through,

496
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:06,288
and I thought that maybe

497
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,789
we could pick you out
         a cute cancer wig.

498
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:09,625
-Oh.
         -What do you think?

499
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:12,461
That's so nice, but, um,
    that's really not necessary.

500
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,464
Hello, I'm Gordon Ramsay.

501
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,883
-Your restaurant is shit.

502
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,177
Okay, I'm gonna try.

503
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:24,056
I'm Monica from   Friends.

504
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,724
-Not now, Chandler.

505
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,726
--That's so good.

506
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:28,936
Thanks.

507
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:31,772
This is so fun.
      I could do this forever.

508
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,904
Can you imagine
      if I did this to my hair?

509
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,531
Like, totally changed
           my whole look?

510
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,367
Patricia would shit a brick.

511
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:44,952
Oh, my God,
        I think you look hot.

512
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:46,203
-You do?
               -Yeah.

513
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,621
I think Patricia would love it.

514
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,081
Hmm.

515
00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:51,667
Remember how she said
       we met at my audition?

516
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,086
-Yeah.
     -That's not the real story.

517
00:20:54,127 --> 00:20:55,921
-It's not?
                -No.

518
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,798
We actually met
          at Neiman Marcus.

519
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,591
She worked there, and I would
    come in all the time just to

520
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:02,886
try on all the clothes,
   and, oh, my God, she was always

521
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,430
dressed head-to-toe gorgeous.
    She looked like a supermodel.

522
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,015
We would always chitchat.

523
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,350
And then, one day,
      I got caught shoplifting.

524
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,102
Jackie.

525
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:13,230
I know, I was very, very, very

526
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,732
bad. 

527
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,567
It was just a bad habit
         for a little while.

528
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,611
When I didn't have any money,
       I would just, you know,

529
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,697
I don't know, kind of
      fall in love with stuff.

530
00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:24,283
Take out that
         five-finger coupon,

531
00:21:24,324 --> 00:21:26,493
and it's all yours.

532
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,662
-This is pretty. Anyhoops,

533
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,998
I did eventually get arrested,

534
00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,458
and Patty is the one
     who bailed me out of jail,

535
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,168
and then she actually
           gave me a job,

536
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:36,920
but she doesn't like people
         to know that story

537
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,006
'cause she thinks it's
     like "bad PR" or whatever.

538
00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:42,175
Wow. I didn't realize you two
      were such close friends.

539
00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,468
Yeah, we're actually
            really close.

540
00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:46,430
I mean, she's done
           so much for me.

541
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,140
I-I do truly adore her,

542
00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:50,142
but...

543
00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:52,811
I don't know.

544
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,939
But she just sees you one way.

545
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,983
You can't really
         break out of that.

546
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:58,984
Hmm.

547
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,319
It's like...

548
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,821
like, once she's decided
            what you are,

549
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,072
she'll never let you

550
00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:05,824
-stop being that.
                -Oh.

551
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,577
Never? But, like,
        maybe at some point?

552
00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:09,953
No. Nope.

553
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,455
And it's just, like,
    I don't want to have to fake

554
00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:12,956
being who I am, you know?

555
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,291
I want to be like you.

556
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:17,502
Like authentic
         and free and real.

557
00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:20,005
Yes. I'm... exactly...

558
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,507
-You know?
           -...like that.

559
00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:27,137
What to say
        about Jackie Stilton?

560
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,681
Okay, um, well,

561
00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:32,184
this is kind of embarrassing
            to admit, but

562
00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:36,813
when I was a kid, I would call
     in to her show every week,

563
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:39,358
and I would just hope
          and hope and hope

564
00:22:39,399 --> 00:22:40,859
that I would get through.

565
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:42,861
--Stop.

566
00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:44,404
Darce, do you have
   a handkerchief? I'm gonna cry.

567
00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:46,365
Stop.

568
00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:47,908
You know, I-I would pretend

569
00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:50,535
that I wanted to buy stuff,
             and I did,

570
00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:54,164
but really I just wanted
         to talk to Jackie.

571
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:56,249
-Shh. Stop.

572
00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:58,210
In some ways Jackie was like

573
00:22:58,251 --> 00:23:00,545
my first real friend.

574
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:03,507
Oh, my God, I'm a weird
      little girl who's, like,

575
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,717
best friends with
      a 30-year-old lady on TV.

576
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,177
-Shh. Stop.
      -I want an Academy Award

577
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:08,887
-for being sick.
               -Stop.

578
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:12,557
Does she think
        she's Muriel Streep?

579
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:13,975
Obviously,

580
00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:15,394
Annipizzary.

581
00:23:15,435 --> 00:23:18,647
Darcy, are the Basquiat people

582
00:23:18,688 --> 00:23:21,066
still trying to rat-fuck me,
          or will there be

583
00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:22,692
new art in my home on Sunday?

584
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:24,069
They're idiots over there.

585
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,320
-I'm like...
                -Gee.

586
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:26,238
Patricia?

587
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:27,823
Um...

588
00:23:27,864 --> 00:23:31,034
You had mentioned
          that I could have

589
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:32,077
Beth Ann's dressing room.

590
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,870
Well,

591
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:36,873
I would like to go ahead
            and have it.

592
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:39,084
Okay, but we need
          to discuss that,

593
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,585
-right?
               -I'm...

594
00:23:40,627 --> 00:23:43,755
not sure if you heard,
         but I have cancer.

595
00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:46,216
Darcy,

596
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,135
make it happen.

597
00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:51,930
Of course.

598
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:54,599
joyful music

599
00:23:54,641 --> 00:23:57,769
I bid you all   adieu.

600
00:24:02,482 --> 00:24:05,110
upbeat theme music

601
00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:08,155
Welcome to   Beautiful You.

602
00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:11,450
I can't believe I've been doing
       this show for 30 years.

603
00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:13,452
I am just so grateful

604
00:24:13,493 --> 00:24:15,912
to all of my Jackalopes
             out there.

605
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:19,541
Thank you, thank you, thank you
    from the bottom of my heart.

606
00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:22,961
Okay. We have so many amazing

607
00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:26,756
Jackiversary deals this hour,
         all up to 30% off,

608
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,551
all on Flexi-pay, we love that.

609
00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:31,261
-Mm-hmm.
      -I want to kick this off

610
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:32,804
with some absolutely

611
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:35,891
show-stopping jewels and gems.

612
00:24:35,932 --> 00:24:37,767
Say hi to the brilliant designer

613
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,145
behind the Dazzling
         Diamonessence line,

614
00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:41,813
Miss Fitzy-Ellen Boatman.

615
00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:44,191
Fitzy-Ellen, you know
         I love to see you.

616
00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:46,318
And I am so proud of you.

617
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,820
-Happy Jackiversity, doll.
        -Thank you, my dear.

618
00:24:48,862 --> 00:24:51,364
Did she say "Jackiversary"
         or "Jackiversity"?

619
00:24:51,406 --> 00:24:53,617
It's fine. Patricia
    wanted it slightly confusing

620
00:24:53,658 --> 00:24:54,993
so people use the wrong code
            at checkout.

621
00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:57,329
And just like
          the tennis bracelet,

622
00:24:57,370 --> 00:24:58,788
the eternity pendant

623
00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:00,749
-is single-origin Diamonessence.
                -Hot.

624
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:02,459
I'm being told

625
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:05,462
we have a surprise caller.
     Hello there, beautiful you.

626
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:06,880
Hi, Jackie.

627
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:09,674
Oh, it's your husband, Marty.
             Hi, Marty.

628
00:25:09,716 --> 00:25:11,843
Happy 30th anniversary, Jackie.

629
00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:14,888
I'm so proud of you,
            and I love you.

630
00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:17,349
Oh, he's such a charmer.

631
00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:20,435
-I love it when Marty calls.
         -Thank you, Marty.

632
00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:22,437
"In Camera" by Yumi Zouma

633
00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:24,189
You are gonna sparkle.

634
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,941
It doesn't matter
      what you wear with them.

635
00:25:25,982 --> 00:25:27,526
Well, thank you
        so much for joining me.

636
00:25:27,567 --> 00:25:31,196
Keep it here for   It's a Cinch
       with Helen Fazeli-Bink.

637
00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:32,697
Bye, now.

638
00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:34,324
Clear.

639
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,034
Like a fool,
     I call you on a Saturday...

640
00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:38,537
-Be right back.
            -Y-You okay?

641
00:25:40,038 --> 00:25:43,166
Whether it's the Starry Night,

642
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,709
the Turkey-Tail Lilac,

643
00:25:44,751 --> 00:25:47,045
or the Sage Bush,
        you're getting a floral

644
00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:48,880
with rich color,

645
00:25:48,922 --> 00:25:51,383
and I got to tell you,

646
00:25:51,424 --> 00:25:53,385
when you're dealing with cancer,

647
00:25:53,426 --> 00:25:56,555
or any life challenge, you need

648
00:25:56,596 --> 00:25:58,723
J-O-Y,

649
00:25:58,765 --> 00:26:00,809
and that spells "joy."

650
00:26:00,850 --> 00:26:02,811
And these arrangements

651
00:26:02,852 --> 00:26:06,481
bring so much joy into my life.

652
00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:09,693
Are these flowers real?
             Maybe not.

653
00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:12,237
But if they are bringing beauty,

654
00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:14,573
positivity, and connection

655
00:26:14,614 --> 00:26:17,617
into your world,
        does it really matter

656
00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:20,078
that they're faux?

657
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,038
I say no.

658
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,207
I say
                 no.

659
00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:28,253
If I give in,
        everything has changed

660
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,005
All right

661
00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:37,095
Don't ever do that to me again.

662
00:26:37,637 --> 00:26:40,265
What do you mean,
         Patricia asked you?

663
00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:44,185
Well, if she asks you again,
         Marty, just say no.

664
00:26:44,227 --> 00:26:46,813
Okay, fine.

665
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:50,609
Hey, new neighbor.

666
00:26:51,735 --> 00:26:54,112
-Oh, hey, Joanna.

667
00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:56,740
Neighbors.

668
00:26:56,781 --> 00:26:58,575
Glad they got you
        out of that shithole.

669
00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,327
Oh, me, too.

670
00:27:00,368 --> 00:27:02,746
-It's great.
            -Hey, um, uh,

671
00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:04,748
I was just wondering,

672
00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:06,625
what are you up to right now?

673
00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:12,380
We actually met
         at a tanning salon.

674
00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:15,467
-I know, very romantic.
                -Wow.

675
00:27:15,508 --> 00:27:18,470
I was in one bed, and Marty was
 one bed over, and I said to him,

676
00:27:18,511 --> 00:27:20,639
"I love this place."
            And he goes,

677
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,724
"Well, guess what. I own it."

678
00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:24,517
Small business owner.

679
00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:26,936
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

680
00:27:26,978 --> 00:27:29,814
We were kind of inseparable
             after that.

681
00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:31,274
But then, a few years ago,

682
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,151
I found out that
         he was hiding money

683
00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:34,944
-in a secret account.

684
00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:36,821
Money I didn't even know we had.

685
00:27:36,863 --> 00:27:38,823
-Ew.
         -I-I've always had

686
00:27:38,865 --> 00:27:42,911
my little spending issue, but I
 have never lied to anyone, ever.

687
00:27:42,952 --> 00:27:44,663
I mean, how do you
          fucking do that?

688
00:27:44,704 --> 00:27:46,665
Like, deceive someone
           you care about?

689
00:27:46,706 --> 00:27:48,500
Every single day,
         like it's nothing?

690
00:27:50,043 --> 00:27:52,170
That's why I'm so grateful
          for you, Joanna.

691
00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:53,630
I hate liars.

692
00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:57,092
Give me anything but
   a lying little liar, you know?

693
00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:59,511
Mm-hmm. I do.

694
00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:01,096
I do know.

695
00:28:01,137 --> 00:28:03,598
I wish all liars
          would drop dead.

696
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:04,683
They should rot in hell.

697
00:28:04,724 --> 00:28:07,227
-Yeah.
           -No, thank you.

698
00:28:07,268 --> 00:28:09,020
Yeah, I hate liars, too.

699
00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:12,357
What a, what a bad thing to do.

700
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:15,860
-Mmm.
               -Yeah.

701
00:28:15,902 --> 00:28:17,195
Okay.

702
00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:19,864
"Numbers Don't Lie"
           by The Mynabirds

703
00:28:19,906 --> 00:28:22,033
It was always

704
00:28:22,075 --> 00:28:26,579
What you said it would be

705
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:29,207
And nothing more

706
00:28:29,249 --> 00:28:31,710
Through the smoke screens

707
00:28:31,751 --> 00:28:34,212
And the pipe dreams

708
00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:38,174
And the blood on the floor

709
00:28:38,216 --> 00:28:40,552
Well, you say it's black

710
00:28:40,593 --> 00:28:42,887
Well, it's bound

711
00:28:42,929 --> 00:28:45,265
To be black

712
00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:49,853
You made up your mind

713
00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:52,480
And you see

714
00:28:52,522 --> 00:28:55,900
With that

715
00:28:58,361 --> 00:29:01,531
Baby, if you want
             to be right

716
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:03,742
I will let you be right

717
00:29:03,783 --> 00:29:06,745
I will let you
               be right

718
00:29:07,871 --> 00:29:10,248
You know that
        the numbers don't lie

719
00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:12,792
Oh, no,
        the numbers don't lie

720
00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:16,379
Two wrongs
        will not make it right

721
00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:28,641
No traipsing.