1
00:00:02,252 --> 00:00:04,421
      [Joanna]   And I don't know     
       if you can see the edging     

2
00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:06,089
              on this bow.           

3
00:00:06,131 --> 00:00:07,674
     These are the kinds of little   
       details that we're seeing     

4
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,759
            out of all of           
       the big fashion houses       

5
00:00:09,801 --> 00:00:11,678
         in Paris, in Milan.        

6
00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,638
   You know, these are, these are   
      those incredible details      

7
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:16,641
      that make you go, "Okay,      
    there is literally no reason    

8
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:17,851
        to ever go to Europe        

9
00:00:17,892 --> 00:00:19,310
          when you can get          
         fashions like this         

10
00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:20,854
          right out of your         
           very own home."          

11
00:00:20,895 --> 00:00:22,689
       [Beena] [over earpiece]      
       Uh, that's great, Joanna.     

12
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:25,025
           Patricia wants you        
       to mention your condition.    

13
00:00:25,066 --> 00:00:27,152
         A-And look at this         
           paprika spice.           

14
00:00:27,193 --> 00:00:28,236
    Don't we just love? [laughs]    

15
00:00:28,278 --> 00:00:29,696
               [Beena]              
              Hey, Joanna.           

16
00:00:29,738 --> 00:00:31,031
      Yeah, Patricia wants you      
            to talk about           

17
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:32,365
      your cancer again, so...      

18
00:00:32,407 --> 00:00:34,367
         -mention your cancer.       
          -[clears throat]          

19
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:39,539
       And I have to tell you,      
        my gals and my girls,       

20
00:00:39,581 --> 00:00:42,667
        if I can just be real       
            for a moment,           

21
00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:44,544
        um, as I said before,       

22
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:48,048
   I'm currently fighting cancer.   

23
00:00:48,089 --> 00:00:50,383
     And there is just something    

24
00:00:50,425 --> 00:00:53,470
        about a chic, sleek,        
        sophisticated top...        

25
00:00:53,511 --> 00:00:56,890
       [Patricia] This girl's       
      gonna make me a fortune.      

26
00:00:56,931 --> 00:01:00,226
   Look at these fucking numbers.   

27
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:04,397
      Literally these numbers.      
             [chuckles]             

28
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:07,233
         [Joanna]   We've got         
       the Dalmatian, that really    

29
00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:09,569
              creamy white           
         with the black edging.      

30
00:01:10,779 --> 00:01:12,739
        Why are you hovering?       
           Stop hovering.           

31
00:01:12,781 --> 00:01:14,157
               [Darcy]              
               I know.              

32
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:17,744
          Standing over you         
        like a psycho. Um...        

33
00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,829
              So, um...             

34
00:01:19,871 --> 00:01:23,208
    I know you don't love it when   
 people ask for time off of work, 

35
00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:25,752
        but, um, the weekend        
            of the 15th,            

36
00:01:25,794 --> 00:01:27,879
     my friend Heesok invited me    

37
00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:29,130
        to Martha's Vineyard.       

38
00:01:29,172 --> 00:01:30,256
          He got a plus-one         
         to Graydon Carter's        

39
00:01:30,298 --> 00:01:31,633
            barn-warming.           

40
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,967
       He's the former editor       
           of   Vanity Fair.          

41
00:01:33,009 --> 00:01:34,886
       Yeah, I know who he is.      

42
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:38,723
       Founding Father-looking      
       motherfucker. [laughs]       

43
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:40,433
            You ever been           
        to Martha's Vineyard?       

44
00:01:40,475 --> 00:01:43,269
          -Oh, my God, no.          
                -Mm.                

45
00:01:43,311 --> 00:01:44,437
        [Joanna]   ...and I've        
        never been to France but     

46
00:01:44,479 --> 00:01:46,356
        I do wish to go one day.     
                [laughs]             

47
00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:48,775
         And then we've got...       

48
00:01:48,817 --> 00:01:50,443
              [slurps]              

49
00:01:50,485 --> 00:01:53,279
     [whispers] It's so snobby,     
           you'll love it.          

50
00:01:53,321 --> 00:01:55,406
        Oh, my God. [laughs]        

51
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:57,492
         Thank you so much.         
        That rocks. [laughs]        

52
00:01:57,534 --> 00:01:58,785
      Now, which one of these tops   

53
00:01:58,827 --> 00:02:00,370
        is lifting your spirits      
              today, Barb?           

54
00:02:00,411 --> 00:02:02,122
             [Patricia]             
          People love this          

55
00:02:02,163 --> 00:02:03,915
           sob story shit.          

56
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,042
       [Darcy] I know, right?       
     It's like, give me a break,    

57
00:02:06,084 --> 00:02:08,878
         but also it is sad.        

58
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:12,132
                                    

59
00:02:12,549 --> 00:02:14,300
        [Marcy] [over laptop]       
     But you did have it. You did.   

60
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:15,802
            You had cancer.          

61
00:02:15,844 --> 00:02:17,428
         I know, but, Mom...        

62
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,139
    She's saying she has it now.    
      She doesn't have it now.      

63
00:02:19,180 --> 00:02:20,306
      Dad, okay, stop yelling.      

64
00:02:20,348 --> 00:02:21,474
     I'm the only one not yelling.   

65
00:02:21,516 --> 00:02:22,976
      But you are being combative.   

66
00:02:23,017 --> 00:02:24,435
     By pointing out that she lied? 

67
00:02:24,477 --> 00:02:26,229
        -That's what she did.       
        -She is just selling        

68
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,940
           blouses on TV,           
        she's not under oath.       

69
00:02:28,982 --> 00:02:30,692
         Can we stop? Stop.         

70
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:33,987
            [Marcy sighs]           

71
00:02:34,028 --> 00:02:36,156
      What do you need, Joanna?     

72
00:02:36,197 --> 00:02:37,824
           I-I... [sighs]           

73
00:02:37,866 --> 00:02:40,577
         I just want someone        
       to tell me what to do.       

74
00:02:41,369 --> 00:02:42,954
        Joey, remember at Costco     

75
00:02:42,996 --> 00:02:44,664
         when Esther in produce      
           admitted she stole        

76
00:02:44,706 --> 00:02:46,332
           a bunch of shrimp         
        for her family reunion?      

77
00:02:46,374 --> 00:02:48,543
          Did I fire her? No.        

78
00:02:48,585 --> 00:02:51,462
     I said, "Here's a good person   
          who made a mistake."       

79
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:53,381
         You're a human being.       
            You screwed up.          

80
00:02:53,423 --> 00:02:55,216
           It'll all be okay.        

81
00:02:55,258 --> 00:02:57,177
          I think I have to         
           tell the truth.          

82
00:02:57,218 --> 00:02:59,220
  lighthearted, pensive music    

83
00:02:59,262 --> 00:03:01,514
        [indistinct chatter]        

84
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,190
             [shushing]             

85
00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:13,860
       Oh, my great goodness.       
   I heard everything. Come here.   

86
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:15,195
          Come on. Big hug.         

87
00:03:15,236 --> 00:03:17,614
      -Oh... [inhales sharply]      
           -Oh, thank you.          

88
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:19,282
           Oh, dear Jesus.          

89
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,534
        You're not gonna take       
            this one yet.           

90
00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:23,536
      She's got too much to do.     
          She's a fighter.          

91
00:03:23,578 --> 00:03:26,372
     In your name we pray, amen.    

92
00:03:26,414 --> 00:03:27,790
         [sighs] Thank you.         

93
00:03:27,832 --> 00:03:29,209
         You're so welcome.         
      You want to take a seat?      

94
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,835
         Oh, I can just sit         
           on these boxes.          

95
00:03:30,877 --> 00:03:33,046
         No, absolutely not.        
    Absolutely not, precious one.   

96
00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,797
    You're gonna sit right here.    
     Hey, Janet? [clicks tongue]    

97
00:03:34,839 --> 00:03:36,299
            Shake a leg.            

98
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:38,009
 She got cancer and needs a seat. 
            There you go.           

99
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:39,052
                Okay.               

100
00:03:39,093 --> 00:03:40,762
              -[sighs]              
             -[chuckles]            

101
00:03:40,803 --> 00:03:42,055
         Shoot me your name         
           one more time?           

102
00:03:42,096 --> 00:03:43,056
               Joanna.              

103
00:03:43,097 --> 00:03:45,266
        Okay, so let's start.       

104
00:03:45,308 --> 00:03:47,518
          [upbeat music plays]       

105
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:48,937
        [Donna] [over video]        
      This week we're celebrating    

106
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,563
      30 years of Jackie Stilton.    

107
00:03:50,605 --> 00:03:52,232
       She's brought over 200,000    
            amazing products         

108
00:03:52,273 --> 00:03:54,442
         into your living room,      
       with her number one show,     

109
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:55,860
           Beautiful You,           
          the longest running,       

110
00:03:55,902 --> 00:03:57,528
          best-selling program       
             in the history          

111
00:03:57,570 --> 00:03:59,197
     of the Special Value Network.   

112
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,698
     Hi, my name is Jackie Stilton   

113
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:02,867
         and thank you so much       
            for welcoming me         

114
00:04:02,909 --> 00:04:04,327
            into your home.          

115
00:04:04,369 --> 00:04:05,995
            -Oh, my God.            
    -[Jackie]   I'm Jackie Stilton    

116
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,580
     and welcome to   Beautiful You.   
           I'm Jackie Stilton        

117
00:04:07,622 --> 00:04:08,790
      and welcome to   Beautiful You   

118
00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:10,458
         from Orlando, Florida.      

119
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:12,001
     I'm Jackie Stilton and welcome 
           to   Beautiful You.         

120
00:04:12,043 --> 00:04:13,586
        This is an exact replica     

121
00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:16,339
         of the engagement ring      
          that Prince Charles        

122
00:04:16,381 --> 00:04:17,840
        gave to Princess Diana.      

123
00:04:17,882 --> 00:04:20,051
         What a perfect couple.      

124
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:23,012
      This is one of those pieces    
          that's a must-have.        

125
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,265
      All of my colors here today    

126
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,724
             are stun-ning.          

127
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:28,101
               [Donna]              
       And this week we celebrate    

128
00:04:28,142 --> 00:04:29,852
       Jackie's 30th anniversary.    

129
00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:31,688
        We watch you every week      

130
00:04:31,729 --> 00:04:34,023
       down here in Tallahassee.     

131
00:04:34,065 --> 00:04:35,942
      Happy Jackiversary, Jackie!    

132
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:37,568
        I never miss your show!      

133
00:04:37,610 --> 00:04:39,112
               [Donna]              
      Happy Jackiversary, Jackie,    

134
00:04:39,153 --> 00:04:40,697
         from all of us at SVN.      

135
00:04:40,738 --> 00:04:42,699
        Enjoy up to 30% all week     
        using the checkout code      

136
00:04:42,740 --> 00:04:44,784
            "Jackiversary."          
          Restrictions apply.        

137
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:47,412
 Not valid in Hawaii, California   
        or Alaska. Not valid...      

138
00:04:47,453 --> 00:04:49,247
       [cheering and whooping]      

139
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,832
               [woman]              
              Love you!             

140
00:04:53,835 --> 00:04:57,088
        My dear, late friend        
            Bernie Madoff           

141
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,632
    used to say, "Certain people    

142
00:04:59,674 --> 00:05:02,176
          just have 'it.'"          

143
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:04,804
    Well, I knew Jackie had "it"    

144
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:06,556
       from the moment we met       
          in her audition.          

145
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:09,851
    -Congrats on 30 years, baby.    
             -Thank you.            

146
00:05:09,892 --> 00:05:12,395
             [applause]             

147
00:05:12,437 --> 00:05:14,272
    Thank you so much, Patricia.    

148
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:16,024
    And thank you to all of you.    

149
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:19,819
   I love you so much. You really   
       are like family to me.       

150
00:05:19,861 --> 00:05:21,487
            And, Joanna,            

151
00:05:21,529 --> 00:05:23,489
         I just want to say,        
           with everything          

152
00:05:23,531 --> 00:05:25,491
     that you're going through,     
        we are here for you.        

153
00:05:25,533 --> 00:05:27,410
              Oh, I...              

154
00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,329
     I thank... And I thank you.    

155
00:05:29,370 --> 00:05:32,123
          Welcome. Anyhow,          

156
00:05:32,165 --> 00:05:35,668
      cheers. Chin, chin to me!     

157
00:05:35,710 --> 00:05:38,463
       [cheering and laughter]      

158
00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:41,132
         Hey, hey, hey. Hey.        
           That's enough.           

159
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:42,759
             All right.             

160
00:05:42,800 --> 00:05:45,762
      Now, we will be gathering     
       interviews from you all      

161
00:05:45,803 --> 00:05:47,847
    for more Jackiversary promos    

162
00:05:47,889 --> 00:05:48,973
          running all week.         

163
00:05:49,015 --> 00:05:50,475
               -Beena?              
                -Oh.                

164
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:52,643
        To celebrate Jackie,        
       we have canned mojitos       

165
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,020
    from Cocktails of the Month.    

166
00:05:54,062 --> 00:05:56,230
        Please only take one        
         and sign the sheet.        

167
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:58,191
       And if you're not gonna      
       take one, that's fine,       

168
00:05:58,232 --> 00:06:00,568
          we still need you         
    to indicate it on the sheet.    

169
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,111
     Oh, and also, please write     
        the last four digits        

170
00:06:02,153 --> 00:06:04,822
    of the SKU number on your can   
         next to your name.         

171
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,033
   Those are those little numbers   
      right under the barcode.      

172
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:10,286
     Absolutely no social media.    
      Congratulations, Jackie!      

173
00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:13,206
             [cheering]             

174
00:06:13,247 --> 00:06:14,665
        [indistinct chatter]        

175
00:06:14,707 --> 00:06:17,210
         [Patricia] Pull the        
      Mulch Prince leaf blowers     

176
00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:21,839
    and bump the citronella tikis   
         to clearance, yes?         

177
00:06:23,216 --> 00:06:24,842
          -Can I help you?          
          -Can I help you?          

178
00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,512
              [Joanna]              
   Um, I wanted to see if I could   

179
00:06:27,553 --> 00:06:29,889
   speak with you for a-a moment.   

180
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:31,808
        Oh, well, if you want       
      a meeting with Patricia,      

181
00:06:31,849 --> 00:06:33,643
 -you have to schedule through... 
      -No, no, no. No, no, no.      

182
00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:36,020
       It's okay. Let's talk.       

183
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,647
                Uh...               

184
00:06:39,941 --> 00:06:41,442
                Um...               

185
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,579
      So, how are you feeling?      

186
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,915
        Well, okay. You know,       

187
00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:57,750
   physically, I'm hashtag living. 

188
00:06:57,792 --> 00:06:59,001
   Yeah, hashtag "I'm Lovin' It."   

189
00:06:59,043 --> 00:07:00,962
     Boo, doo, poom, poom, poom!    
                Yeah.               

190
00:07:01,003 --> 00:07:03,256
          Let's all go down         
          to the Mickey D's         

191
00:07:03,297 --> 00:07:04,966
     and get some cheeseburgers.    

192
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:06,551
              Um, but,              

193
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:08,761
          uh, emotionally,          
 I kind of wanted to talk to you. 

194
00:07:08,803 --> 00:07:10,388
             [Patricia]             
            Your numbers            

195
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,432
       for the Vera Nash line       
           were excellent.          

196
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:14,809
          You even sold out         
          of the ugly one.          

197
00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:17,520
    People are really connecting    
       with your cancer story.      

198
00:07:17,562 --> 00:07:19,730
               [sighs]              
         Yeah. Um, you know,        

199
00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,607
   that's kind of what I wanted to 

200
00:07:21,649 --> 00:07:24,235
         connect, um, to...         
           a-and with you           

201
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:26,112
        about at this meeting       

202
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,781
       that is today and now.       

203
00:07:28,823 --> 00:07:30,366
             I thought,             

204
00:07:30,408 --> 00:07:32,452
      maybe I don't talk about      
    the cancer anymore, you know?   

205
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,203
       Because, this is crazy,      
            okay, just...           

206
00:07:34,245 --> 00:07:36,539
       What if my story is...       

207
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:39,459
           My grandparents          
        are Jewish immigrants       

208
00:07:39,500 --> 00:07:41,294
         from Poland, and we        

209
00:07:41,335 --> 00:07:42,795
            looked it up            
        on a trip to Israel,        

210
00:07:42,837 --> 00:07:44,088
           and I actually           

211
00:07:44,130 --> 00:07:46,424
        come from a long line       
          of upholsterers--         

212
00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:49,969
               Joanna,              
      we'll go with the cancer.     

213
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,141
 We're gonna do everything we can 

214
00:07:55,183 --> 00:07:56,976
      to make you comfortable.      

215
00:07:57,018 --> 00:07:59,187
           Maybe you need           
       a bigger dressing room.      

216
00:07:59,228 --> 00:08:02,064
    We could always swap her out    
           with Beth Ann.           

217
00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:03,316
                What?               

218
00:08:03,357 --> 00:08:05,401
    You got a problem with that?    

219
00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:07,695
          No. I think yeah.         

220
00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,239
      Give her Beth Ann's room      
         'cause it's bigger.        

221
00:08:10,281 --> 00:08:11,908
        That's not necessary.       

222
00:08:11,949 --> 00:08:14,327
          All right, Darcy,         
   make sure she's taken care of.   

223
00:08:14,368 --> 00:08:15,870
                Yes.                

224
00:08:16,662 --> 00:08:18,247
         Go ahead, sweetie.         

225
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:20,666
            -Eat a Rolo.            
          -Oh. Are you s...         

226
00:08:20,708 --> 00:08:22,835
                Okay.               

227
00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:30,843
             [chuckles]             

228
00:08:30,885 --> 00:08:32,803
     [Darcy] I'm almost positive    
         I was clear on this        

229
00:08:32,845 --> 00:08:34,889
         when we met, but in        
      the off chance I wasn't,      

230
00:08:34,931 --> 00:08:36,724
      typically, if you do want     
      a meeting with Patricia,      

231
00:08:36,766 --> 00:08:37,975
       you would schedule that      
             through me.            

232
00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:39,769
               -Okay.               
     -Instead of just walking up    

233
00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:41,479
    to her like you're two humans   
         on the same level,         

234
00:08:41,521 --> 00:08:42,772
        you know what I mean?       

235
00:08:42,813 --> 00:08:44,690
          Oh, hey, Joanna,          
        did you get a chance        

236
00:08:44,732 --> 00:08:46,275
   to finish your start paperwork? 

237
00:08:46,317 --> 00:08:47,860
        Kind of in the middle       
      of something here, Beena.     

238
00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:49,695
       Oh, I-I'm sorry, Darcy.      

239
00:08:49,737 --> 00:08:50,988
   I actually had a quick question 
            for you, too.           

240
00:08:51,030 --> 00:08:52,782
              -Mm-hmm?              
     -Can you fuck the hell off?    

241
00:08:52,823 --> 00:08:55,034
     -Why don't you go fuck off?    
         -Oh, why don't you         

242
00:08:55,076 --> 00:08:57,119
     -lick shit and die, Darcy.     
      -Go fuck yourself, Beena.     

243
00:08:57,161 --> 00:08:58,704
     Oh, you want to fuck around    
     and find out, motherfucker?    

244
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,540
             -Fuck you!             
           -Oh, fuck you!           

245
00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:03,084
       [scoffs] So, it's like       
           Patricia said,           

246
00:09:03,125 --> 00:09:05,753
         whatever you need,         
 please don't hesitate to ask me. 

247
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:08,256
     Seriously. It's my pleasure    
        to take care of you.        

248
00:09:08,297 --> 00:09:09,590
          Um, no, I'm fine.         

249
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:11,092
        Really, I don't want        
         special treatment.         

250
00:09:11,133 --> 00:09:13,636
        -Joanna, you're sick.       
            -No, I'm not.           

251
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,429
          You're not sick?          

252
00:09:15,471 --> 00:09:17,807
      Oh, no, I am, but sick...     
             I am sick,             

253
00:09:17,848 --> 00:09:19,392
          but I don't want          
          anything special.         

254
00:09:19,433 --> 00:09:21,269
   Okay. You hang in there, okay?   

255
00:09:21,310 --> 00:09:22,770
                Okay.               

256
00:09:22,812 --> 00:09:25,523
            Oh, actually,           
        um, I think I noticed       

257
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,983
 Nutri-Grain bars in the meeting. 

258
00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,151
            Um, maybe one           
       of those would be nice.      

259
00:09:29,193 --> 00:09:30,486
       I-I skipped breakfast,       

260
00:09:30,528 --> 00:09:31,862
                so...               

261
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:34,073
       Okay, diva, you got it.      

262
00:09:36,033 --> 00:09:37,285
               [sighs]              

263
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:40,121
    Fuck a fucking duck in a rug.   

264
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,917
         Dude, everyone here        
        is completely insane,       

265
00:09:44,959 --> 00:09:46,711
          -except for you.          
         -[chuckles] I know.        

266
00:09:46,752 --> 00:09:48,087
   Like, Joanna just now was like, 

267
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,423
    "Yo, I need Nutri-Grain bars,   
             like, now!"            

268
00:09:50,464 --> 00:09:52,425
     And it's like, don't get me    
    wrong, like, I feel for her,    

269
00:09:52,466 --> 00:09:55,886
 but, like, I'm sorry, since when 
      do I have to babysit her?     

270
00:09:55,928 --> 00:09:57,763
       Like, why is this being      
       hoisted onto my plate,       

271
00:09:57,805 --> 00:10:00,766
       -you know what I mean?       
       -Darcy, she has cancer.      

272
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:02,685
         A hundred percent.         

273
00:10:02,727 --> 00:10:04,937
          And I hate that.          

274
00:10:04,979 --> 00:10:06,272
              [scoffs]              

275
00:10:10,985 --> 00:10:13,279
          lighthearted music       

276
00:10:19,327 --> 00:10:21,621
              [buzzing]             

277
00:10:21,662 --> 00:10:23,456
    We got a very special caller    
             calling in.            

278
00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,458
        It is Mama St. James.       

279
00:10:25,499 --> 00:10:27,293
        Good morning to you,        
       my darling mother dear.      

280
00:10:27,335 --> 00:10:29,128
          [Mama St. James]          
           Good morning, son.        

281
00:10:29,170 --> 00:10:30,796
       You know I love seeing you    
         cooking up some grub,       

282
00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:32,465
         so I just had to call.      

283
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,468
    Well, Mama, who do you think    
       I learned it from? You!      

284
00:10:35,509 --> 00:10:37,595
 I'm telling y'all, I was wearing 
         this woman's aprons        

285
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,431
       and baking cakes since       
     I was knee-high. [chuckles]    

286
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:41,807
          [Mama St. James]          
      Well, if you're cooking it,    

287
00:10:41,849 --> 00:10:43,267
         I know it's good, son.      

288
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,977
       Oh, I love you to bits,      
           my darling one.          

289
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:47,271
       I'll see you at church       
          on Sunday. Mwah.          

290
00:10:47,313 --> 00:10:50,274
         That's it for   moi.         
      Adios to all my lovelies.     

291
00:10:50,316 --> 00:10:52,193
       We'll see you next time      
         on   Kitchen Corner.         

292
00:10:52,234 --> 00:10:55,821
       And, hey, check me out       
 on Facebook and the TikTok, huh? 

293
00:10:55,863 --> 00:10:57,490
         -[director] Clear.         
            -Cute, Perry.           

294
00:10:57,531 --> 00:11:00,326
   I need you for the Jackiversary 
       thing real quick, okay?      

295
00:11:00,368 --> 00:11:02,078
    What to say about my Jackie?    

296
00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:04,413
    Honey, you have been with me    
       through all my hairdos       

297
00:11:04,455 --> 00:11:06,415
         and my hair-don'ts,        
       but I'll tell you what,      

298
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:09,794
      you're the only ponytail      
        I want to yank. Bad!        

299
00:11:09,835 --> 00:11:12,755
   Happy Jackiversary. [chuckles]   

300
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,260
           I'm going again          
     right-right away. I just...    

301
00:11:18,302 --> 00:11:20,596
     I didn't, I didn't like it.    
     Come on, bud. You got this.    

302
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,348
   -[Darcy] I thought it was fine. 
      -[stammers] Well, well...     

303
00:11:22,390 --> 00:11:24,684
          I'm the one who's         
      on camera, honey. Ready?      

304
00:11:24,725 --> 00:11:25,976
      I'm gonna pop up into it.     

305
00:11:26,018 --> 00:11:28,062
           Jackie Stilton           
        is literally an icon.       

306
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:30,815
      She started working here      
       before I was even born.      

307
00:11:30,856 --> 00:11:32,191
          Isn't that wild?          

308
00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:34,860
         I love you, Jackie.        
        I'm so proud of you.        

309
00:11:34,902 --> 00:11:36,737
         Happy Jackiversity.        

310
00:11:36,779 --> 00:11:39,365
      You said "Jackiversity."      
        It's "Jackiversary."        

311
00:11:39,407 --> 00:11:40,866
          Like anniversary.         

312
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:43,536
            Jackiversity.           
         That's what I said.        

313
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:44,995
       I need to talk to you.       

314
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:48,207
        Going out of my mind.       
             Okay, so...            

315
00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:50,710
      what you need to know is,     
    in the meeting this morning,    

316
00:11:50,751 --> 00:11:53,754
 Patricia, like, floated the idea 

317
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:55,756
          of Joanna getting         
         your dressing room.        

318
00:11:55,798 --> 00:11:58,217
    -Are you fucking kidding me?    
               -Stop.               

319
00:11:58,259 --> 00:11:59,802
          I've worked here          
          for three years.          

320
00:11:59,844 --> 00:12:01,846
            I work harder           
       than anybody else here.      

321
00:12:01,887 --> 00:12:03,556
    I work my little asshole off.   

322
00:12:03,597 --> 00:12:04,724
      What did you say to her?      

323
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:06,517
         Obviously, I said,         
           "By no means."           

324
00:12:06,559 --> 00:12:08,561
         Are you kidding me?        
     I always go to bat for you.    

325
00:12:08,602 --> 00:12:11,313
          -[grunts loudly]          
             -Beth Ann,             

326
00:12:11,355 --> 00:12:12,565
           don't be upset.          

327
00:12:12,606 --> 00:12:14,233
              [shouts]              

328
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,944
            We're upset.            

329
00:12:17,862 --> 00:12:19,822
         We're upset today.         

330
00:12:19,864 --> 00:12:22,575
            For 30 years,           
    I've been guided by one idea,   

331
00:12:22,616 --> 00:12:25,035
       that I'm not just here       
       to sell you something,       

332
00:12:25,077 --> 00:12:27,413
          I'm here to make          
          your life better          

333
00:12:27,455 --> 00:12:29,039
    because life is complicated.    

334
00:12:29,081 --> 00:12:31,584
          Take it from me,          
       I'm recently divorced.       

335
00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:33,377
   I know how important it can be   

336
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:36,464
 just to have that little special 
    something arrive in the mail.   

337
00:12:36,505 --> 00:12:39,425
           Yeah. Amazing.           
       Incredible. Effortless.      

338
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,552
      Let's just do one without     
     the divorce mention. Cool.     

339
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:44,555
           Oh. Patty, why?          

340
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,557
     Can we keep it? I like it.     

341
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,267
          [Darcy] She wants         
     to chat with you about it.     

342
00:12:48,309 --> 00:12:51,270
            -Oh. Really?            
           -[Darcy] Yeah.           

343
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,230
              -[sighs]              
     -[Darcy] Okay, we can cut.     

344
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,279
           Oh. Hey, Mama.           

345
00:13:00,321 --> 00:13:02,072
         Oh, hey, Beth Ann.         

346
00:13:05,409 --> 00:13:07,453
        Ugh, I know it sucks        
          not having a sink         

347
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,288
       in your dressing room.       
 You have to come in here to wash 

348
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:12,416
     your dirty mug, but, look,     
          sinks are kind of         

349
00:13:12,458 --> 00:13:14,794
       for more senior people.      
   Don't ask me why. It's so dumb. 

350
00:13:14,835 --> 00:13:16,545
               -Yeah.               
              -I heard              

351
00:13:16,587 --> 00:13:19,548
      that Patricia was, like,      
   mentioning us switching rooms?   

352
00:13:19,590 --> 00:13:21,383
   Which is like, I love the idea. 

353
00:13:21,425 --> 00:13:24,220
        I think other people        
           would be like,           

354
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:25,554
               "What?"              

355
00:13:25,596 --> 00:13:28,224
          Oh, don't worry.          
 I don't want your dressing room. 

356
00:13:28,265 --> 00:13:29,266
           Totally. Yeah.           

357
00:13:29,308 --> 00:13:31,143
       -Do you have a tampon?       
                -Oh.                

358
00:13:31,185 --> 00:13:34,480
     I don't... No. I don't have    
       a tampon on me. Sorry.       

359
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,315
    I go through so many tampons.   

360
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,733
           There's, like,           
      nowhere in this bathroom      

361
00:13:37,775 --> 00:13:39,318
         to put your tampon         
           while you pee.           

362
00:13:39,360 --> 00:13:40,778
                What?               

363
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:41,987
          There's no shelf          

364
00:13:42,029 --> 00:13:43,614
            in the stall.           

365
00:13:44,990 --> 00:13:47,993
 To put your tampon when you have 
   to take it out so you can pee.   

366
00:13:48,035 --> 00:13:49,954
      Oh, you don't have to...      

367
00:13:49,995 --> 00:13:51,664
         -How was your Rolo?        
               -What?               

368
00:13:51,705 --> 00:13:54,375
      Patricia seems to, like,      
   love you, which is so amazing.   

369
00:13:54,416 --> 00:13:55,626
        It's actually, like,        

370
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,545
       messed up that she was       
         about to fire you,         

371
00:13:57,586 --> 00:13:59,922
       and then you were like,      
          "I have cancer!"          

372
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,007
        And now you're here.        
             [chuckles]             

373
00:14:02,049 --> 00:14:03,551
         That's, like, wild.        

374
00:14:03,592 --> 00:14:05,845
             [crunching]            

375
00:14:05,886 --> 00:14:07,680
          slow, tense music        

376
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:10,224
                                    

377
00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:21,652
            [door locks]            

378
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,529
            -[urinating]            
    -[Meegan]   You really can tell   

379
00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:27,324
       when something is missing     
       that mark of authenticity.    

380
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:28,784
            Oh, you can?            

381
00:14:28,826 --> 00:14:30,536
      All of our fauxs are made     

382
00:14:30,578 --> 00:14:32,538
     by our master floral artist    

383
00:14:32,580 --> 00:14:34,874
     who recreates English roses    

384
00:14:34,915 --> 00:14:36,876
           petal by petal           

385
00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:39,169
      for our plastics factory      
             in Panama.             

386
00:14:39,211 --> 00:14:42,339
    Wow. That is just incredible.   
          Now, just to ask,         

387
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:44,300
 even if you look at it up close, 

388
00:14:44,341 --> 00:14:46,844
        you can't really tell       
    that these are faux, can you?   

389
00:14:46,886 --> 00:14:49,430
             There is no            
        detectable difference       

390
00:14:49,471 --> 00:14:50,931
          to the human eye.         

391
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:54,018
    So there's no risk of getting   
      caught by your coworkers?     

392
00:14:54,059 --> 00:14:56,437
         -I don't think so.         
     -You don't think there is?     

393
00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:59,857
       Or you know for a fact       
    that there isn't? [chuckles]    

394
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,442
               I know?              

395
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:03,777
            Look at you.            

396
00:15:03,819 --> 00:15:05,237
         [Patricia chuckles]        

397
00:15:05,279 --> 00:15:07,907
    I'm so goddamn proud of you.    

398
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:09,533
              [Jackie]              
              30 years.             

399
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:10,951
   -Has it really been that long?   
        -[Patricia chuckles]        

400
00:15:10,993 --> 00:15:12,202
     30 fucking years is right.     

401
00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:14,580
   You just getting started, baby. 

402
00:15:14,622 --> 00:15:15,789
          You're the shit,          

403
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:17,499
      and don't you forget it.      

404
00:15:17,541 --> 00:15:19,001
            Cheers, baby.           

405
00:15:19,043 --> 00:15:21,587
       -Cheer... Eye contact.       
              -[laughs]             

406
00:15:21,629 --> 00:15:23,130
                 Ah.                

407
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,927
       -So, about the divorce.      
                -Yes.               

408
00:15:27,968 --> 00:15:29,762
        I don't think we need       
          to bring it out.          

409
00:15:29,803 --> 00:15:31,555
          What do you mean,         
           "bring it out"?          

410
00:15:31,597 --> 00:15:35,059
        I don't think we need       
        to bring the divorce        

411
00:15:35,100 --> 00:15:37,186
      out on the air, darling.      

412
00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,771
                Why?                

413
00:15:38,812 --> 00:15:40,564
                -Hey.               
              -Oh, hey.             

414
00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,901
    Uh, so Darcy said you wanted    
       some Nutri-Grain bars.       

415
00:15:43,943 --> 00:15:45,611
   Not to put you on blast, but... 

416
00:15:45,653 --> 00:15:47,363
        I thought we could do       
           so much better.          

417
00:15:47,404 --> 00:15:49,114
             We got some            
      dark chocolate pretzels,      

418
00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:51,951
     Utz potato chips, Babybels,    

419
00:15:51,992 --> 00:15:54,495
            and, uh, oh,            
       took a big swing here,       

420
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:55,621
           coffee syrups.           

421
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,790
         Oh, my living fuck.        

422
00:15:57,831 --> 00:15:59,875
   Jordan, I love flavored coffee. 

423
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:02,336
   Uh, yeah, uh,   Haselnuss,   right? 

424
00:16:02,378 --> 00:16:05,047
             -I don't...            
     -It's German for hazelnut.     

425
00:16:05,089 --> 00:16:06,382
           -Oh,   Haselnuss.          
      -Sorry. Yeah. [chuckles]      

426
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:09,051
     -Such an international man.    
             -Eh, well.             

427
00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:10,803
        I can't wait to munch       
       on all of these snacks.      

428
00:16:10,844 --> 00:16:14,515
      I mean, this little piggy     
     loves to oink, oink, oink.     

429
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:18,227
          I got you a, uh,          
       speaker, too, you know?      

430
00:16:18,268 --> 00:16:20,020
                -Oh.                
   -And if you ever get stressed,   

431
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:22,272
        I have a really good        
        playlist for anxiety.       

432
00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,775
           [laughs] Wait,           
     what are you anxious about,    

433
00:16:24,817 --> 00:16:27,486
       Mr. Perfect Per...son?       

434
00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:30,155
          Oh, God. I mean,          
       lots of shit, you know?      

435
00:16:30,197 --> 00:16:32,616
    Like, climate change, racism,   

436
00:16:32,658 --> 00:16:35,452
      do people like me? Mostly     
     just anything that exists.     

437
00:16:35,494 --> 00:16:37,621
   [inhales sharply] I'm very fun. 

438
00:16:37,663 --> 00:16:39,081
              [laughs]              

439
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:41,834
         Well, um, I get it.        

440
00:16:41,875 --> 00:16:44,628
    I have anxiety, too, and, um,   

441
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,839
      some people might call me     
         a total whack job.         

442
00:16:46,880 --> 00:16:47,965
             Psychopath.            

443
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,258
              -No, no.              
             -[laughing]            

444
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:51,010
        -[continues laughing]       
             -[chuckles]            

445
00:16:51,051 --> 00:16:53,095
          Um, but, anyways,         

446
00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:54,680
    I just want to say thank you    

447
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:57,182
     for this very luxe spread.     

448
00:16:57,224 --> 00:16:58,934
               -Yeah.               
           -It's very, um,          

449
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:00,352
         chivalrous of you.         

450
00:17:00,394 --> 00:17:03,272
          Well, I know that         
       you're, uh, you know...      

451
00:17:03,313 --> 00:17:05,774
       You're dealing with...       
      what you're dealing with.     

452
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:08,152
    And, uh, just wanted to say,    

453
00:17:08,193 --> 00:17:09,862
       "We got you," you know?      

454
00:17:09,903 --> 00:17:11,780
               -Right.              
            -Fuck cancer.           

455
00:17:11,822 --> 00:17:13,532
               -Right.              
                -Oh.                

456
00:17:13,574 --> 00:17:15,492
    -Absolutely. Fuck it. Fuck...   
       -Sorry, that's... Yeah.      

457
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:16,994
    Anyway, so anything we can do   
    to make you more comfortable,   

458
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:19,288
    just let me know, all right?    

459
00:17:19,329 --> 00:17:21,081
         -Thank you so much.        
             -All right.            

460
00:17:21,123 --> 00:17:22,708
          I got to get back         
         on the floor, uh...        

461
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,168
               -Okay.               
           -Anything else,          

462
00:17:24,209 --> 00:17:26,879
         -just let me know.         
       -Okay.   Merci, monsieur.      

463
00:17:26,920 --> 00:17:29,298
         Uh... I only speak         
           German. Sorry.           

464
00:17:29,339 --> 00:17:32,217
        [laughing] Au revoir.       

465
00:17:37,097 --> 00:17:39,058
 People tune in to see the Jackie 

466
00:17:39,099 --> 00:17:41,393
        they've been watching       
            for decades.            

467
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:43,353
             -Mm. Yeah.             
       -She's hip. She's cool.      

468
00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,189
 Best friend in a leather jacket. 

469
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:47,524
                -Yes.               
        -Drives a Mazda Miata       

470
00:17:47,566 --> 00:17:51,236
      -and has it all together.     
          -[Jackie laughs]          

471
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:54,656
    I still drive a Mazda Miata.    

472
00:17:54,698 --> 00:17:57,326
         People love Jackie         
           and Marty, hmm?          

473
00:17:57,367 --> 00:17:58,911
              [Jackie]              
        Mm-hmm. Right, but...       

474
00:17:58,952 --> 00:18:01,580
        Ah-ah. I don't think        
     we want to fuck with that.     

475
00:18:01,622 --> 00:18:04,541
       Right, but I don't love      
          Jackie and Marty.         

476
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,294
       I just want to be real       
   with people, you know? I mean,   

477
00:18:07,336 --> 00:18:08,754
       I was actually thinking      
             it would be            

478
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,839
   -an empowering thing for women. 
              -Jackie,              

479
00:18:10,881 --> 00:18:14,468
    Santa Claus might have issues   
          with Mrs. Claus,          

480
00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,345
          but we don't want         
          to hear about it.         

481
00:18:16,386 --> 00:18:18,138
 We just want it to be Christmas. 

482
00:18:18,180 --> 00:18:20,224
      You know what I'm saying.     

483
00:18:20,265 --> 00:18:22,976
      Huh, that's a good point.     

484
00:18:23,018 --> 00:18:24,728
          I don't even want         
        to think about that.        

485
00:18:24,770 --> 00:18:26,230
         -I love Christmas.         
                -Mm.                

486
00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:27,689
           So, we're good?          

487
00:18:27,731 --> 00:18:30,234
               -Yeah.               
                -Mm.                

488
00:18:32,069 --> 00:18:34,780
              -[sighs]              
         -Yeah, we're good.         

489
00:18:34,822 --> 00:18:36,782
                Okay.               

490
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:44,790
      Just... Doesn't it bother     
       you that it's not true?      

491
00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:47,417
               [sighs]              

492
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:50,462
          slow, tense music        

493
00:18:50,504 --> 00:18:52,422
               [sighs]              

494
00:18:52,464 --> 00:18:54,133
       The Joy of You   is bringing    

495
00:18:54,174 --> 00:18:57,469
       this new varietal, the       
 Queen Anne's Rose, and just feel 

496
00:18:57,511 --> 00:19:01,014
   -how silky soft the petals are. 
        -[electricity buzzes]       

497
00:19:01,056 --> 00:19:03,851
            Geez... Fuck.           

498
00:19:03,892 --> 00:19:05,644
               Joanna?              

499
00:19:05,686 --> 00:19:07,604
        Oh, hey. How are you?       

500
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:09,565
           Eh. I'm so-so.           

501
00:19:09,606 --> 00:19:10,899
               [sighs]              

502
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,277
             Oh, my God.            

503
00:19:13,318 --> 00:19:16,738
    Your dressing room is awful.    

504
00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,907
      That is so mean of them.      

505
00:19:18,949 --> 00:19:20,951
    You know, I'm making it work.   

506
00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:23,620
    Hey, would you want to go do    
    something really fun with me?   

507
00:19:28,417 --> 00:19:30,294
              [Joanna]              
             Oh, my God.            

508
00:19:31,044 --> 00:19:32,963
              [Jackie]              
               I know.              

509
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:36,592
    I just come in here sometimes   
          just to think and         

510
00:19:36,633 --> 00:19:40,345
      be peaceful if I'm having     
          a stressful day.          

511
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,100
    Hmm. Did you know that I went   
     to the Sistine Chapel once,    

512
00:19:45,142 --> 00:19:46,643
         and I felt nothing,        

513
00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,021
           but when I come          
         in here... [sighs]         

514
00:19:49,062 --> 00:19:50,856
          -it's my heaven.          
              -[sighs]              

515
00:19:50,898 --> 00:19:54,359
         Oh, my God, is this        
    a Guernsey & Dorn Maxi Dress?   

516
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:56,153
     With the lilac knife pleat.    

517
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:57,196
    They don't make that anymore.   

518
00:19:57,237 --> 00:19:58,655
              -[sighs]              
          -Come over here.          

519
00:19:58,697 --> 00:19:59,948
                Okay.               

520
00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:01,867
        I was thinking about        

521
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,952
 everything you're going through, 

522
00:20:03,994 --> 00:20:06,288
      and I thought that maybe      

523
00:20:06,330 --> 00:20:07,789
        we could pick you out       
         a cute cancer wig.         

524
00:20:07,831 --> 00:20:09,625
            -[sighs] Oh.            
         -What do you think?        

525
00:20:09,666 --> 00:20:12,461
      That's so nice, but, um,      
    that's really not necessary.    

526
00:20:13,712 --> 00:20:15,464
          [British accent]          
      Hello, I'm Gordon Ramsay.     

527
00:20:15,505 --> 00:20:17,883
      -Your restaurant is shit.     
              -[laughs]             

528
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,177
        Okay, I'm gonna try.        

529
00:20:21,303 --> 00:20:24,056
      I'm Monica from   Friends.      

530
00:20:24,097 --> 00:20:25,724
              -[laughs]             
         -Not now, Chandler.        

531
00:20:25,766 --> 00:20:27,726
            -[both laugh]           
          -That's so good.          

532
00:20:27,768 --> 00:20:28,936
               Thanks.              

533
00:20:28,977 --> 00:20:31,772
           This is so fun.          
      I could do this forever.      

534
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:38,904
           Can you imagine          
      if I did this to my hair?     

535
00:20:38,946 --> 00:20:41,531
        Like, totally changed       
           my whole look?           

536
00:20:41,573 --> 00:20:43,367
    Patricia would shit a brick.    

537
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:44,952
             Oh, my God,            
        I think you look hot.       

538
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:46,203
              -You do?              
               -Yeah.               

539
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,621
   I think Patricia would love it. 

540
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:49,081
                Hmm.                

541
00:20:49,122 --> 00:20:51,667
        Remember how she said       
       we met at my audition?       

542
00:20:51,708 --> 00:20:54,086
               -Yeah.               
     -That's not the real story.    

543
00:20:54,127 --> 00:20:55,921
             -It's not?             
                -No.                

544
00:20:55,963 --> 00:20:57,798
           We actually met          
          at Neiman Marcus.         

545
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,591
    She worked there, and I would   
    come in all the time just to    

546
00:20:59,633 --> 00:21:02,886
       try on all the clothes,      
   and, oh, my God, she was always 

547
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:05,430
    dressed head-to-toe gorgeous.   
    She looked like a supermodel.   

548
00:21:05,472 --> 00:21:07,015
      We would always chitchat.     

549
00:21:07,057 --> 00:21:08,350
         And then, one day,         
      I got caught shoplifting.     

550
00:21:08,392 --> 00:21:10,102
               [gasps]              
               Jackie.              

551
00:21:10,143 --> 00:21:13,230
   I know, I was very, very, very   

552
00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:15,732
            bad. [sighs]            

553
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,567
       It was just a bad habit      
         for a little while.        

554
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,611
    When I didn't have any money,   
       I would just, you know,      

555
00:21:19,653 --> 00:21:21,697
        I don't know, kind of       
      fall in love with stuff.      

556
00:21:21,738 --> 00:21:24,283
            Take out that           
         five-finger coupon,        

557
00:21:24,324 --> 00:21:26,493
         and it's all yours.        

558
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,662
             -[chuckles]            
     -This is pretty. Anyhoops,     

559
00:21:28,704 --> 00:21:30,998
   I did eventually get arrested,   

560
00:21:31,039 --> 00:21:33,458
        and Patty is the one        
     who bailed me out of jail,     

561
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:35,168
        and then she actually       
           gave me a job,           

562
00:21:35,210 --> 00:21:36,920
     but she doesn't like people    
         to know that story         

563
00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:39,006
       'cause she thinks it's       
     like "bad PR" or whatever.     

564
00:21:39,047 --> 00:21:42,175
    Wow. I didn't realize you two   
      were such close friends.      

565
00:21:42,217 --> 00:21:43,468
        Yeah, we're actually        
            really close.           

566
00:21:43,510 --> 00:21:46,430
         I mean, she's done         
           so much for me.          

567
00:21:46,471 --> 00:21:48,140
       I-I do truly adore her,      

568
00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:50,142
               but...               

569
00:21:50,183 --> 00:21:52,811
            I don't know.           

570
00:21:52,853 --> 00:21:54,271
               [sighs]              

571
00:21:54,313 --> 00:21:55,939
   But she just sees you one way.   

572
00:21:55,981 --> 00:21:57,983
          You can't really          
         break out of that.         

573
00:21:58,025 --> 00:21:58,984
                Hmm.                

574
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,319
            It's like...            

575
00:22:00,360 --> 00:22:02,821
      like, once she's decided      
            what you are,           

576
00:22:02,863 --> 00:22:04,072
        she'll never let you        

577
00:22:04,114 --> 00:22:05,824
          -stop being that.         
                -Oh.                

578
00:22:05,866 --> 00:22:08,577
          Never? But, like,         
        maybe at some point?        

579
00:22:08,618 --> 00:22:09,953
              No. Nope.             

580
00:22:09,995 --> 00:22:11,455
        And it's just, like,        
    I don't want to have to fake    

581
00:22:11,496 --> 00:22:12,956
      being who I am, you know?     

582
00:22:12,998 --> 00:22:14,291
       I want to be like you.       

583
00:22:14,333 --> 00:22:17,502
           Like authentic           
         and free and real.         

584
00:22:17,544 --> 00:22:20,005
       Yes. I'm... exactly...       

585
00:22:20,047 --> 00:22:22,507
             -You know?             
           -...like that.           

586
00:22:23,967 --> 00:22:27,137
             What to say            
        about Jackie Stilton?       

587
00:22:27,179 --> 00:22:29,681
           Okay, um, well,          

588
00:22:29,723 --> 00:22:32,184
    this is kind of embarrassing    
            to admit, but           

589
00:22:32,225 --> 00:22:36,813
   when I was a kid, I would call   
     in to her show every week,     

590
00:22:36,855 --> 00:22:39,358
        and I would just hope       
          and hope and hope         

591
00:22:39,399 --> 00:22:40,859
      that I would get through.     
             [chuckles]             

592
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:42,861
        -[Beth Ann laughing]        
           -[Darcy] Stop.           

593
00:22:42,903 --> 00:22:44,404
    [whispers] Darce, do you have   
   a handkerchief? I'm gonna cry.   

594
00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:46,365
         [Darcy] [laughing]         
                Stop.               

595
00:22:46,406 --> 00:22:47,908
     You know, I-I would pretend    

596
00:22:47,949 --> 00:22:50,535
     that I wanted to buy stuff,    
             and I did,             

597
00:22:50,577 --> 00:22:54,164
      but really I just wanted      
         to talk to Jackie.         

598
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:56,249
             -[giggling]            
             -Shh. Stop.            

599
00:22:56,291 --> 00:22:58,210
    In some ways Jackie was like    

600
00:22:58,251 --> 00:23:00,545
        my first real friend.       

601
00:23:00,587 --> 00:23:03,507
       Oh, my God, I'm a weird      
      little girl who's, like,      

602
00:23:03,548 --> 00:23:05,717
          best friends with         
      a 30-year-old lady on TV.     

603
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,177
             -Shh. Stop.            
      -I want an Academy Award      

604
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:08,887
          -for being sick.          
               -Stop.               

605
00:23:08,929 --> 00:23:09,888
          [Beth Ann laughs]         

606
00:23:09,930 --> 00:23:12,557
           Does she think           
        she's Muriel Streep?        

607
00:23:12,599 --> 00:23:13,975
             [Patricia]             
             Obviously,             

608
00:23:14,017 --> 00:23:15,394
            Annipizzary.            

609
00:23:15,435 --> 00:23:18,647
   Darcy, are the Basquiat people   

610
00:23:18,688 --> 00:23:21,066
    still trying to rat-fuck me,    
          or will there be          

611
00:23:21,108 --> 00:23:22,692
    new art in my home on Sunday?   

612
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:24,069
               [Darcy]              
     They're idiots over there.     

613
00:23:24,111 --> 00:23:25,320
            -I'm like...            
                -Gee.               

614
00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:26,238
              Patricia?             

615
00:23:26,279 --> 00:23:27,823
                Um...               

616
00:23:27,864 --> 00:23:31,034
          You had mentioned         
          that I could have         

617
00:23:31,076 --> 00:23:32,077
      Beth Ann's dressing room.     

618
00:23:32,119 --> 00:23:33,870
                Well,               

619
00:23:33,912 --> 00:23:36,873
      I would like to go ahead      
            and have it.            

620
00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:39,084
          Okay, but we need         
          to discuss that,          

621
00:23:39,126 --> 00:23:40,585
               -right?              
               -I'm...              

622
00:23:40,627 --> 00:23:43,755
       not sure if you heard,       
         but I have cancer.         

623
00:23:43,797 --> 00:23:46,216
               Darcy,               

624
00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,135
           make it happen.          

625
00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:51,930
             Of course.             

626
00:23:51,972 --> 00:23:54,599
             joyful music          

627
00:23:54,641 --> 00:23:57,769
        I bid you all   adieu.        

628
00:24:02,482 --> 00:24:05,110
          upbeat theme music       

629
00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:08,155
      Welcome to   Beautiful You.      

630
00:24:08,196 --> 00:24:11,450
   I can't believe I've been doing 
       this show for 30 years.      

631
00:24:11,491 --> 00:24:13,452
        I am just so grateful       

632
00:24:13,493 --> 00:24:15,912
       to all of my Jackalopes      
             out there.             

633
00:24:15,954 --> 00:24:19,541
   Thank you, thank you, thank you 
    from the bottom of my heart.    

634
00:24:19,583 --> 00:24:22,961
    Okay. We have so many amazing   

635
00:24:23,003 --> 00:24:26,756
    Jackiversary deals this hour,   
         all up to 30% off,         

636
00:24:26,798 --> 00:24:29,551
   all on Flexi-pay, we love that. 

637
00:24:29,593 --> 00:24:31,261
              -Mm-hmm.              
      -I want to kick this off      

638
00:24:31,303 --> 00:24:32,804
        with some absolutely        

639
00:24:32,846 --> 00:24:35,891
   show-stopping jewels and gems.   

640
00:24:35,932 --> 00:24:37,767
 Say hi to the brilliant designer 

641
00:24:37,809 --> 00:24:40,145
         behind the Dazzling        
         Diamonessence line,        

642
00:24:40,187 --> 00:24:41,813
      Miss Fitzy-Ellen Boatman.     

643
00:24:41,855 --> 00:24:44,191
        Fitzy-Ellen, you know       
         I love to see you.         

644
00:24:44,232 --> 00:24:46,318
      And I am so proud of you.     

645
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,820
     -Happy Jackiversity, doll.     
        -Thank you, my dear.        

646
00:24:48,862 --> 00:24:51,364
     Did she say "Jackiversary"     
         or "Jackiversity"?         

647
00:24:51,406 --> 00:24:53,617
         It's fine. Patricia        
    wanted it slightly confusing    

648
00:24:53,658 --> 00:24:54,993
    so people use the wrong code    
            at checkout.            

649
00:24:55,035 --> 00:24:57,329
             And just like           
          the tennis bracelet,       

650
00:24:57,370 --> 00:24:58,788
          the eternity pendant       

651
00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:00,749
 -is single-origin Diamonessence. 
                -Hot.               

652
00:25:00,790 --> 00:25:02,459
       [Jackie] [over monitor]      
             I'm being told          

653
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:05,462
     we have a surprise caller.     
     Hello there, beautiful you.    

654
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:06,880
        [Marty] [over phone]        
              Hi, Jackie.            

655
00:25:06,922 --> 00:25:09,674
    Oh, it's your husband, Marty.   
             Hi, Marty.             

656
00:25:09,716 --> 00:25:11,843
               [Marty]              
 Happy 30th anniversary, Jackie.   

657
00:25:11,885 --> 00:25:14,888
          I'm so proud of you,       
            and I love you.          

658
00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:17,349
            [Fitzy-Ellen]           
        Oh, he's such a charmer.     

659
00:25:17,390 --> 00:25:20,435
      -I love it when Marty calls.   
         -Thank you, Marty.         

660
00:25:20,477 --> 00:25:22,437
      "In Camera" by Yumi Zouma    

661
00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:24,189
            [Fitzy-Ellen]           
       You are gonna sparkle.       

662
00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:25,941
          It doesn't matter         
      what you wear with them.      

663
00:25:25,982 --> 00:25:27,526
      [Jackie]   Well, thank you      
        so much for joining me.      

664
00:25:27,567 --> 00:25:31,196
    Keep it here for   It's a Cinch   
       with Helen Fazeli-Bink.      

665
00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:32,697
              Bye, now.             

666
00:25:32,739 --> 00:25:34,324
              [Jordan]              
               Clear.               

667
00:25:34,366 --> 00:25:36,034
              Like a fool,          
     I call you on a Saturday...    

668
00:25:36,076 --> 00:25:38,537
       -[sighs] Be right back.      
            -Y-You okay?            

669
00:25:40,038 --> 00:25:43,166
              [Joanna]              
     Whether it's the Starry Night, 

670
00:25:43,208 --> 00:25:44,709
         the Turkey-Tail Lilac,      

671
00:25:44,751 --> 00:25:47,045
           or the Sage Bush,         
        you're getting a floral      

672
00:25:47,087 --> 00:25:48,880
          with rich color,          

673
00:25:48,922 --> 00:25:51,383
         and I got to tell you,      

674
00:25:51,424 --> 00:25:53,385
 when you're dealing with cancer, 

675
00:25:53,426 --> 00:25:56,555
 or any life challenge, you need   

676
00:25:56,596 --> 00:25:58,723
                 J-O-Y,              

677
00:25:58,765 --> 00:26:00,809
         and that spells "joy."      

678
00:26:00,850 --> 00:26:02,811
         And these arrangements      

679
00:26:02,852 --> 00:26:06,481
 bring so much joy into my life.   

680
00:26:06,523 --> 00:26:09,693
       Are these flowers real?      
             Maybe not.             

681
00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:12,237
 But if they are bringing beauty, 

682
00:26:12,279 --> 00:26:14,573
     positivity, and connection     

683
00:26:14,614 --> 00:26:17,617
          into your world,          
        does it really matter       

684
00:26:17,659 --> 00:26:20,078
         that they're faux?         

685
00:26:20,120 --> 00:26:22,038
              I say no.             

686
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,207
                I say               
                 no.                

687
00:26:24,249 --> 00:26:28,253
             If I give in,          
        everything has changed      

688
00:26:28,295 --> 00:26:30,005
              All right            

689
00:26:31,464 --> 00:26:33,133
               [sighs]              

690
00:26:33,967 --> 00:26:37,095
   Don't ever do that to me again. 

691
00:26:37,637 --> 00:26:40,265
          What do you mean,         
         Patricia asked you?        

692
00:26:40,307 --> 00:26:44,185
    Well, if she asks you again,    
         Marty, just say no.        

693
00:26:44,227 --> 00:26:46,813
               [sighs]              
             Okay, fine.            

694
00:26:48,315 --> 00:26:50,609
         Hey, new neighbor.         

695
00:26:51,735 --> 00:26:54,112
          -Oh, hey, Joanna.         
              -[laughs]             

696
00:26:54,154 --> 00:26:56,740
              [laughs]              
             Neighbors.             

697
00:26:56,781 --> 00:26:58,575
          Glad they got you         
        out of that shithole.       

698
00:26:58,617 --> 00:27:00,327
            Oh, me, too.            

699
00:27:00,368 --> 00:27:02,746
            -It's great.            
            -Hey, um, uh,           

700
00:27:02,787 --> 00:27:04,748
        I was just wondering,       

701
00:27:04,789 --> 00:27:06,625
    what are you up to right now?   

702
00:27:06,666 --> 00:27:08,960
      [soft lounge music playing]    

703
00:27:10,587 --> 00:27:12,380
           We actually met          
         at a tanning salon.        

704
00:27:12,422 --> 00:27:13,590
              [laughs]              

705
00:27:13,632 --> 00:27:15,467
       -I know, very romantic.      
                -Wow.               

706
00:27:15,508 --> 00:27:18,470
   I was in one bed, and Marty was 
 one bed over, and I said to him, 

707
00:27:18,511 --> 00:27:20,639
        "I love this place."        
            And he goes,            

708
00:27:20,680 --> 00:27:22,724
    "Well, guess what. I own it."   

709
00:27:22,766 --> 00:27:24,517
              [laughs]              
        Small business owner.       

710
00:27:24,559 --> 00:27:26,936
            Mm-hmm. Yeah.           

711
00:27:26,978 --> 00:27:29,814
     We were kind of inseparable    
             after that.            

712
00:27:29,856 --> 00:27:31,274
     But then, a few years ago,     

713
00:27:31,316 --> 00:27:33,151
          I found out that          
         he was hiding money        

714
00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:34,944
        -in a secret account.       
              -[scoffs]             

715
00:27:34,986 --> 00:27:36,821
 Money I didn't even know we had. 

716
00:27:36,863 --> 00:27:38,823
                -Ew.                
         -I-I've always had         

717
00:27:38,865 --> 00:27:42,911
   my little spending issue, but I 
 have never lied to anyone, ever. 

718
00:27:42,952 --> 00:27:44,663
         I mean, how do you         
          fucking do that?          

719
00:27:44,704 --> 00:27:46,665
        Like, deceive someone       
           you care about?          

720
00:27:46,706 --> 00:27:48,500
          Every single day,         
         like it's nothing?         

721
00:27:48,541 --> 00:27:50,001
               [sighs]              

722
00:27:50,043 --> 00:27:52,170
     That's why I'm so grateful     
          for you, Joanna.          

723
00:27:52,212 --> 00:27:53,630
            I hate liars.           

724
00:27:53,672 --> 00:27:57,092
        Give me anything but        
   a lying little liar, you know?   

725
00:27:57,133 --> 00:27:59,511
            Mm-hmm. I do.           

726
00:27:59,552 --> 00:28:01,096
             I do know.             

727
00:28:01,137 --> 00:28:03,598
          I wish all liars          
          would drop dead.          

728
00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:04,683
      They should rot in hell.      

729
00:28:04,724 --> 00:28:07,227
               -Yeah.               
           -No, thank you.          

730
00:28:07,268 --> 00:28:09,020
      Yeah, I hate liars, too.      

731
00:28:09,062 --> 00:28:12,357
   What a, what a bad thing to do. 

732
00:28:13,483 --> 00:28:15,860
                -Mmm.               
               -Yeah.               

733
00:28:15,902 --> 00:28:17,195
                Okay.               

734
00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:19,864
         "Numbers Don't Lie"        
           by The Mynabirds         

735
00:28:19,906 --> 00:28:22,033
            It was always          

736
00:28:22,075 --> 00:28:26,579
      What you said it would be    

737
00:28:26,621 --> 00:28:29,207
           And nothing more        

738
00:28:29,249 --> 00:28:31,710
      Through the smoke screens    

739
00:28:31,751 --> 00:28:34,212
         And the pipe dreams       

740
00:28:34,254 --> 00:28:38,174
      And the blood on the floor  

741
00:28:38,216 --> 00:28:40,552
       Well, you say it's black    

742
00:28:40,593 --> 00:28:42,887
           Well, it's bound        

743
00:28:42,929 --> 00:28:45,265
             To be black           

744
00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:49,853
        You made up your mind      

745
00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:52,480
             And you see           

746
00:28:52,522 --> 00:28:55,900
              With that            

747
00:28:58,361 --> 00:29:01,531
           Baby, if you want        
             to be right            

748
00:29:01,573 --> 00:29:03,742
       I will let you be right     

749
00:29:03,783 --> 00:29:06,745
             I will let you         
               be right             

750
00:29:07,871 --> 00:29:10,248
             You know that          
        the numbers don't lie       

751
00:29:10,290 --> 00:29:12,792
                Oh, no,             
        the numbers don't lie       

752
00:29:12,834 --> 00:29:16,379
               Two wrongs           
        will not make it right      

753
00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:28,641
                [man]               
             No traipsing.