Y'all better sit y'all asses down.
It's time for "P-Valley."
They say if we don't pay up in 30 days, they gonna have our asses kissing asphalt.
Y'all gonna be practicing inside this new building right here.
The new home of the Chucalissa Challengers.
I thought you was gonna get another one of your daughter's contributions today.
I'ma need those 20 stacks I let y'all hold come end of the week.
Just talk to your daughter.
I think I might just have to try you out on that pulpit one Sunday service.
Corbin just text. Say he ain't coming.
The brother from another mother strikes again. Ain't this some shit?
Promised Land can't start until we have the signatory of all owners.
But I ain't interested in making a little one-off $1 million.
I'm interested in making $10 million,
and if we actually lease our land to the casino,
that's what we could make over the long haul.
New song, huh?
You need to holler at DJ Neva Scared.
He get more bump in his bathroom.
There's a casino coming to Chucalissa?
Ask him yourself.
"Andre Watkins, Esquire."
I don't need to talk to him.
Not when I got somebody else it seem he like talking to.
You are not my pimp.
Oh, but I am your employer with a fake-ass ID in my hand.
Now, unless you don't want me to call the sheriff,
let him know about the little fraud game you probably running,
I suggest you do as I say.
Is there room for me on that lap of yours?
You know I can always make room for the GOAT.
You should have been moved to Atlanta,
with all that talent.
I'm fine where I is, Coach,
right here with you.
Besides, how else we would've had met?
Chucalissa don't deserve you.
How about I take you on up to Memphis with me?
I'll put you up in that condo, right on the river.
Have you sit front and center...
...every game.
You's a fool to think you'd be concentrating on your ball players...
...with me sitting on the 50-yard line.
I know you right.
I'ma have to put you on up in the skybox.
Wouldn't want them Giuseppes getting messed up
by somebody in the crowd.
Wouldn't want somebody within earshot of their wife.
Shit.
I'm serious about this.
Let me take care of you.
Coach, baby, this fantasy cheap.
Real life, I don't think you could afford her.
I know I'm biased,
but you should try this one on.
Look at you, gecko!
-You mean chameleon? -What you said?
A stripper always got to have her looks.
That's what my mama always say.
Hey, Bill, I just finished looking over the blueprints.
You're gonna love what they did.
Yeah. Yeah, check your inbox.
You done talk to your regular yet?
How somebody you dance for once is a regular is beyond me.
Heifer, don't get smart with me.
If you don't talk to that damn man about this damn casino, you better.
I called him. Left a message. He didn't call me back.
I want my tea.
No tea...
...no ID.
God-daddy, now, why you wastin' good Macallan?
Gots to feed the gods, boy.
Go ahead. 'Cause you don't know nothing about that.
See, you left Chucalissa before the old ways
tattooed themselves on your heart.
Most niggas leave here, and they never turn back.
But you?
You remembered me.
And you bringing the casino here
shows me you remembering your peoples.
See how these mu'fuckers working day and night to put up my bar?
How's things with them cowboys? They sign yet?
Wayne and Wyatt on board,
but they happen to have a half -brother proving to be tricky.
Corbin say he want to lease. which I can't say is a bad idea.
No, no, no.
Kyle land is supposed to have a straight sale, now.
You know, 6 million, like we discussed.
But it's not even waterfront property like The Pynk,
which is the only land we actually need to build the casino.
I promised those Kyle boys I was gonna hook 'em up,
you know, call it a gift for them helping me get elected.
That's a gift or a kickback?
I didn't see you objecting
when your Promised Land folks was giving me
a few hundred thousand to build
the entire damn Russell Park, huh?
Come on.
You said this was a good-faith gesture
to show the city council that Promised Land
was serious about rebuilding this town.
Yeah.
You didn't say anything about naming it after yourself.
Who better to name it after the first black mayor of Chucalissa?
Think of the optics, though.
Hey, boy. Lower your voice down.
You judging me?
This is just how things work
in the Delta.
Have always worked around here.
Now, these boys are part of the cotton connect
that runs this state,
and Wayne Kyle
runs the city council.
Guess they don't call it the Dirty South for nothin'.
Hey, now...
hey, we got the police discounts...
so we won't have to have no citywide vote,
because if those bible-thumpers find out about this casino,
they gonna send it straight to hell.
Yeah, man.
We got to keep this thing a secret, Andre.
Come on.
You hear me?
Come on. Come on.
It smells like it's gonna rain again.
Yeah.
God is about to shake the mess out of Mississippi.
- Jungle juice and Tang. - Jungle juice all day.
Boy, I knew your ass was project as hell, man.
Can I get a cigarette?
What you need is an escort with a umbrella.
You gonna be square out in these streets?
No. She good.
Yeah, I see.
- Don't stop on account of me. - It's a brief recess.
- You sound like a lawyer. - That's what I do on weekends.
- What do you do on weekends? - Go to Atlanta.
What's her name?
Britney.
Well, the closest I've been to Atlanta
is the Freaknik chapter in "A Man in Full."
Easily top five.
That blonde wig got you talking crazy.
- It ain't no "Kindred." - Shut the front door.
What you know about some "Kindred"?
What you know about some patter master?
Your slip is showing, Andre.
Well, yours is, too.
Your wife must miss you being away for so long,
working on this casino thing.
Hey, can you keep your voice down?
What? I'm not allowed to talk about it?
- It's complicated. - What, you think I wouldn't understand?
No. No, no, no, no.
I actually think you would.
But I'm not at liberty to speak on confidential matters, so...
Got it.
Y'all sure is a cute couple there.
Where y'all staying at?
- Oh, we're not a... - Staying long.
Just passing through.
Done with our sightseeing for today.
Niggas always wanna do Highway 61 trail.
But Robert Johnson's shack got washed away 60-some years ago.
Ain't shit to see.
You want to see some history? Go to the mounds.
Oh, yeah.
My grandmama used to take me there when I was little.
Well, she might've took you there, but did she tell you the story?
Two Choctaw brothers walking they people down south
in search of new land.
Well, every night when they set up camp,
they would plant a stick in the ground,
and whichever way it was pointing,
the next morning, that's the direction they go.
They did that night after night,
over and over for 100 years.
Anytime one of 'em died, they carried 'em on they back.
Can you imagine dragging death on your back like that?
One morning, they got up, and they saw they stick
was pointing straight up, and that was all she wrote.
They laid down their bones and made a home there.
Well, actually, here.
Would you like to go see the mounds?
Can you add three lumberjack specials to the ticket on that table?
Oh, and I'll take two coffees.
- What you need the other one for? - I like to keep both my hands warm.
Well, I was just leaving.
Excuse me.
I'll make sure the ticket is paid for you lovely ladies.
Make sure you leave a tip.
The mounds.
I'd like to see 'em.
Cool.
I'll text you.
I'll reply.
Oh, you better get you a regular!
I gots two.
Corbin and that freaky-ass anesthesiologist.
One like to get beat, and the other like to watch me sleep.
Mercedes got this coach from up in Memphis.
Always trying to play Cap'n Save A Ho.
Bitch, you the ho.
I turned my regular into my boyfriend.
- A boyfriend? - White-girl magic.
Nasty.
Look, it's innocent.
Say the guilty.
Well...
Enjoy your breakfast, ladies.
We will!
She's bein' a bitch. She probably anorexic.
This bitch ain't even eatin'.
- Hey, Corbin. - Clifford.
You done started keeping secrets from your girl.
Ain't nobody keeping no secrets from you.
Yet you consortin' with the enemy in my palace.
Who this Andre Watkins?
I was just showing him a good time.
By trying to bribe him with those stacks?
Ears stay more open than legs at The Pynk, Corbin.
You know how black-folk talk strike faster than lightning.
Have I told any of your other secrets?
Hell, I might be the only person in this town you can trust.
This casino want to buy our land.
I'm trying to get my brothers to lease instead of selling it.
These folks came in offering some serious stacks.
But Wayne and Wyatt done blew they whole inheritance,
so they ready to offload every acre,
but I'm trying to convince 'em to hold on to it.
It's like what you tell your girls.
Closed legs still get fed.
Nah, the other one.
Oh. Rule 57.
No change in the G-string,
only dollars.
Why make one dollar when you can make ten...
million.
Shut your mouth.
That's that legacy money.
That's that private -school money.
Honey, that's that money money.
Hey. So you trying to tell me
that The Pynk gonna be right across the street
from a motherfucking casino, huh?
From a motherfucking casino?
It's gonna take some time to build.
Oh, well, honey, Oprah wasn't built in a day.
I can wait for this.
I just got to hold on to one brick.
And I see what patience'll do.
You had to wait till your daddy's last breath
for you to get recognized.
And look at ya.
The son of the maid keeping a plantation goin'.
If that ain't some reparations for your ass, I don't know what is.
Funny how you kept that secret all the way since elementary.
That you the bastard son of good ol' boy Johnny Kyle?
See that?
This tongue stay tied.
I got to get back to pickin' this cotton.
Hey, Corbin?
Yes, Clifford?
Get you some sunscreen.
We don't want you getting black now.
And P-U-S-S-Y
V-A-L-L-E-Y.
Pussy Valley, baby.
Oh, get that money!
Child, we gonna get that money!
'Cause my God is an awesome God,
and the very fact that you have survived is a message.
A promise.
A prophecy.
I stand before you, an imperfect promised soul.
I done done some things.
What Deborah Cox song...
Nobody supposed to be here done the things I done.
I was addicted to that life.
Was always about that life.
But now I'm living for Jesus.
Won't He do it? Yes, He will.
Won't He pull you through? Yes, He will.
I want you to turn to your neighbor and say, "Neighbor."
Neighbor.
Well...
...you always know how to find me, don't you?
Well, I went to the back office first.
Didn't expect to find you up here, though.
Must say, it's a pleasant surprise.
Well, my vocal warm -up got carried away.
It's been a few days.
You made the withdrawal from the church account yet?
The loan got approved.
So when you gonna roll my stacks on to me?
What you need it for? What your little ass gonna do with it?
A wise woman once told me
don't let not one nigga know what you abouts to do.
Just let these bitches watch.
Now I'ma say this.
How you gonna be disrespectful in the house of the Lord?
My gym, Ma.
I finally got it.
So...
...this retirement plan of yours is real, huh?
Fine.
I'ma cut the check tomorrow.
You can come get it first thing.
I know y'all ain't. What type of ish is this?
Y'all got me messed up,
and y'all got the nerve to have Chucalissa Challenger shorts on, too.
This might disqualify us from our next stand.
We were just gonna upload it to Snap.
It deletes as soon as it plays.
Well, Terricka, thank God.
Otherwise, you would have everybody booty popping
from Chucalissa to doggone Pluto.
"The bad bitch party.
Invitation only to the top 20 twerkers."
Well, bless your thotty little hearts.
Y'all know what happen at parties like this?
We should be free to express our sexual freedom
without patriarchal consequence of rape, rumor...
Taylor, fuck y'all feminism.
You don't want no stuff out there on the Internet
about y'all that look like this, point blank, period!
You do.
Well, Terricka, I gets paid for mine.
You out here shaking y'all shit for free.
Where they do that at?
You know what?
Give me 50 toe touches before y'all leave.
Oh, man!
Jump!
Why you ain't jumpin', Captain?
No, no, no.
Make it 70.
Girl, come on! Get up!
Get your legs up like you was getting 'em up
- on that dadgum fence. - High!
- Point your toes! - Please!
Girl, where you been?
From almost beatin' a little bitch ass,
but I'm ready to slay, 'cause God is in the building.
Come on, girl, let's do this.
I got to get down.
Y'all keep practicing.
I need to fill my water bottle.
- Fuck! - Oh, sorry.
You in early.
Can I see it?
I just fell at practice again.
It just sprained.
What the hell?
Oh, this is my granddaddy recipe.
Just a little alcohol and pepper.
Them dudes in Iraq would laugh.
Pour that on, it's quick fast, though.
Unless you got a bullet in your head.
Then, well, it wouldn't much help there.
So when you gonna stop?
Falling?
Keyshawn, girl, bring your titties. This baby up here hungry.
You know my ass can't feed her.
Shit.
Let me go before Uncle Clifford start fussing louder than the baby.
All right.
It's your girl. The M, I, crooked letter, crooked letter, I
crooked letter, crooked letter, I, humpback, humpback, I!
Get 'em, Gidget and Mercedes!
Come on down, 'cause we finna show out as soon as y'all show up.
Meet me at the club. It's going down.
Can somebody please hold Reba for me so I can finish this post?
No.
Autumn, do me this favor.
Another one.
This is water.
Slow down, high yellow. You getting redboned.
Fuck out of here!
Buy me a drink?
Throw it up for the baddest bitches in all of Chucalissa.
The trinity.
Y'all need to throw some more, throw some more.
Go, Miss M-I, crooked letter, crooked letter, I,
crooked letter, crooked letter, I,
humpback, humpback, I!
Hey!
Here we got my girl. Get 'em, Gidget.
No, no, no, no.
Y'all better give her more than that.
Show her some motherfucking appreciation.
White girl used to cheer for Ole Miss, y'all.
Fuck that shit up, 'Cedes.
Fuck it up. Fuck it up.
Trinity.
And then we got my bottom bitch...
...Mercedes!
And she rides one every day, all day, baby, baby!
Hey, babe. Hey.
How much for a dance?
Well, well, well,
looks like we got ourselves a special guest.
This my new girl, y'all, with a new swirl.
Give it up for Autumn Night.
Turn it up in this bitch.
Oh, Lord, she done...
You all right, baby. You all right.
Girl...
What you doing?
Get your ass off that pole.
Where you think you going?
All right, now, y'all in for a show.
They taking y'all up.
- Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! - Hey!
Throw it up. Throw it up.
Throw it up. Throw it up!
Hey.
Shit!
I swear, yellow bitches, I can't take it.
What you do?
Knuck if you buck.
We got a Chucalissa tax night.
Oh, that's right. Make it rain on these bitches.
Let's go.
Yes! Throw that money.
Hey!
Bitch, if I ever see you climbing your yellow ass on my pole again,
I swear before God I will fuck you up on sight.
Let go of me!
The crowd liked it. What's your problem?
My problem is working with sloppy-drunk bitches.
You want to be a alky?
Do that shit on somebody else pole.
You ain't finna get me hurt.
I'm not drunk.
Little mama, you need to go on home and take care of yourself.
- Why you even care? - I don't.
Only thing I care about is you not getting up on my motherfucking pole.
Hey, yo, DJ Neva Scared. What it do, though?
Later.
- Hey, Tequan, can I come? - No.
What up, man?
Hey, you ain't want your man to come?
No. He got to stay. He got to stay in the back.
Real talk?
The hook kind of knock, but it ain't like it's up to me.
You gonna need more than a hook you can vibe out to
for any of them girls to really fuck with it.
What you mean?
It mean everything got to knock.
Your shit got to have a spectrum of swag but with that turned-up energy.
Right now your shit more like salad.
Romaine or frisée?
Romaine, and you see, that what I'm talking about.
You got to pick the right ingredients.
You got to have that right flavor, the right head, the right clip,
and that 808, got to marinate that shit.
Your perc sound got to slice through that spice
and make room for the bottom on that tremolo.
Nigga, you speaking another language.
Nigga, you be speaking another language.
What I mean is salad is for rookies.
You got to get on that next level, making that souffle type of shit.
Why don't you come over?
My mom's making that ill quinoa stuffing, so...
- Word? - Yeah, you know, man.
I dig it. Hop in the car.
- You know your mama love me, right? - Hey, hey. Stop that, bro.
- Gonna be my stepson, boy. - Bro, bro, yo...
- I promise you right now. - Stop that.
Race you to the top?
Stop!
Oh, God.
When I used to live here with my grandmother, it felt like...
...paradise.
From what I've seen, it ain't like that no more.
Want to bring that back for the folks here now.
You think that casino you buildin' is gonna change that?
This casino could single -handedly turn tourism in this town around.
So why is it so hush-hush?
'Cause it's not a done deal yet.
Can you imagine people from all across the South
could come vacay here?
I mean, most Southerners don't have passports,
but at Promised Land Casino Resorts,
you'd be able to take your girl to Rome, Paris, China.
All around the world be the thing...
Yeah, so what does that do for the people who live here?
Take a good look.
What else is here?
I know this casino ain't the answer
to everything that's gone wrong here, but...
It's a start.
So you're gonna make Chucalissa great again, then, huh?
Is this how you always are?
So contrarian? So facetious?
It's like you're hanging up on me again.
And the other night I actually wanted to talk.
So...
Let's talk, then.
Condom?
No.
You better go get one.
Wait.
Can you let me in?
I want to keep this engine humming.
Be right back.
Hey.
Hey, y'all sell Magnums?
No.
We don't sell condoms,
but we sure got Bibles in our room for free.
And, Jesus, we are worthy of the blessing
that You've given to us and of that blessing that we've taken.
- Yes. - So God so loved the world
that He gave his only begotten son.
- And in Jesus' name, amen. - Yes.
Amen.
So first order of business...
we need to figure out who gonna be preaching in my place,
since I got to go on up to Mississippi Boulevard
for they revival.
Now, I was thinking Clydell could.
Something you have to say, Sister Patrice?
Well, we do want dollars instead of cents in the collection plate, don't it?
- Sister Woodbine... - I'm just saying.
My singing after service can only wake up half the folk
lulled to sleep by his rambling.
What?
You think you can get up there and do better?
The one thing this mouth know how to do is draw dollars from a sinner's pocket.
So that must be where your daughter gets it from.
Let he who is without sin cast the first stone upon.
That is what my savior said of a woman that was scorned.
And that is what I'd like to preach on, next Sunday morn, if I could...
Now, Sister Woodbine...
...you is the finest treasurer this church done ever seen.
The church building fund would be in the red if it wasn't for you.
Fact, we just got that bank loan 'cause of me, and you said...
And I will always be thankful for your sacrifice.
Now, look here.
Women are the backbone of this church,
but we must submit to our elders.
Now, Elder Clydell
will be preaching in my place come Sunday.
Next order of business.
Oh, my God, yes!
Yes!
Oh, my God, yes!
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Enjoy your stay.
Luckily, there's a Walgreens on the co...
Fuck.
Hey, Uncle Clifford!
Hey, my flodgin' city girls.
Look, I...
See ya.
Nigga, you is late.
Big L done had to put on the Bell Biv DeVoe CD.
It's driving me out my mind.
And since when your mama start driving a hooptie?
You coming in?
Nah.
Not tonight, shorty, not tonight.
Go on, get out of here.
Pull out them ones, 'cause it about to go down in the building tonight.
Big one for the old heads up in the joint,
the ones who graduated Chucalissa High in '99, y'all.
Y'all old as fuck.
Bring out the cans, get on the floor, but don't hurt nobody.
We about to get that work from the ladies!
And speaking of ladies, we got salt and pepper
on the pole here doing the swirl.
All right, Sleeping Beauty, go get them coins.
What did Uncle Clifford say?
Ain't no vitamin D in the VIP.
I just want to put the tip in.
There they go.
Gidget, if you don't get your flat ass back out on that stage...
Told you Uncle Clifford got me working like a slave.
Ain't it a new day when a white girl in Mississippi
claim she working like a slave?
Now, Duffy, boy, why you come so late?
Oh, man.
This flood's fucked up for all them connects run away.
I-55 clogged worser than my meemaw heart.
Well, let it be known, I'm only stashing your load this one time.
You sell weed wings, now, don't you?
Well, weed about to be legal once we get Obama back in office a third term.
But that Oxy you had me holding?
No, sir. No, ma'am.
It's all there.
You know I don't trust white people.
Big L will help you load up your truck out back.
Hey, Sojourner, you got one more minute
before you need to come back out here and pick this cotton.
As long as it's green.
I gots to go.
Let me hold some before you go.
It's for Keyshawn.
She sprained her wrist yesterday at practice.
You sure it's not for your mama?
My nipples just done got hard as rubies.
That's not the only thing.
Look at this map.
That's Corbin tract of land.
And look right across from there.
And the price point.
Oh, Lord.
Don't make me fall the fuck out.
Child, fuck some tea!
You done poured a pot of hot grits on these ears of mine.
ID. Now, please.
Damn. Why is your nose so turnt up?
Do you know what I had to do to get this?
I can only imagine how awful it is to lay up on a cute-ass nigga
for a little bit of afternoon delight.
What's wrong with you?
He's calling me again.
- What the hell? Give it! - Get back.
- Give it back! - Get back.
- Give... - Get back!
Talk.
Welcome to paradise.
Password.
Apples.
Now...
...it's just one more thing I'ma need for you to do.
I'm thinking zirconia along the edges.
Bitch, I want it to look like the Milky Way
just done exploded all over my booty.
I'm a bad bitch. Why I ain't get no invite?
They twerk better than me.
I know, right?
- Now look. - Oh, God.
Girl.
Shit. It's Terricka.
Oh, hell, no.
These little bitches gonna learn today.
Which bad bitch is that?
No, I think somebody here finna get their ass whupped.
Bitch, move your ass.
Damn.
You know what? Y'all ain't got to go home,
but you gots to get the fuck up out of here!
Oh, shit.
- Walk faster. - Okay.
Where your little ass going when you live here?
Keep your eyes on your own paper, partner.
Welcome to Paradise.
Password?
Apples.
Thanks for taking the time to meet with me.
I know you at work and shit, but I wanted to explain that...
Oh, good.
'Cause my ears could use another cup of tea.
You around the corner?
Good. I'm still here.
I don't know why you call her.
'Cause she need to know you done turned this house around and upside down.
God damn it, Terricka. What was you thinking?
- Me and the girls was just having fun. - No, no, no. Listen to me.
You cute. You get it from your mama.
But being banging sometime more a burden than a blessing.
Keep on.
Some little baller gonna pull on up, spit some whack-ass game,
and just 'cause your little ass want to be liked,
next thing you know, that nigga gonna have you
bent over in the bathroom with your panties
around your ankles, and you deserve it.
- Deserve it? - Yeah.
The way you going, you gonna end up on "13 and Pregnant."
And what you gonna do then, huh?
- What you gonna do? - You know what?
If I did get pregnant,
at least I wouldn't give up my baby like you gave up me.
Oh, my imported rug.
A bad-bitch party? I'ma kill her.
- Where she at? - Where was you at?
I was down in Jackson visiting my sick sister.
Terricka said she was gonna spend the night
with her girl Jalissa this weekend.
You done fell for the oldest trick in the book.
You should've just let her spent the night at my house.
So she can take some more pictures in your floss?
- That was a joke. - It was inappropriate.
No wonder she around here shaking her ass.
What? Whipped cream in the Jacuzzi?
You make her think stuff like this is cool.
I was the one that was trying to talk her out of it.
So you knew she was trying to throw this party?
- Un-fucking-believable. - I tried to stop it.
Look, I promised Cortez when he died that I'd do right by his child.
She's my child, too.
I know that, which is why I've been open...
open to her being on the team,
but she's too focused on her body...
always in the mirror,
always concerned about how many likes she's getting.
What you trying to say?
I don't want her on the team no more.
But, 'Chelle,
that's the only time I get to see her.
I know.
We need to refocus this energy
on grades, volunteer work...
anything but this dancing.
Right.
Well...
...you the one with custody, so...
Yeah.
You welcome.
Thanks.
If I was a stripper, my name would be Sweet Potato Ponchita.
That's the last thing I ate and the color of my underwear.
That's a little TMI, don't you think?
It might be.
But I've been getting too little information,
or none at all, on something called
Promised Land Casino & Resort.
Look, these are confidential matters.
Oh, well, good.
I'm good at keeping secrets.
Like if that wife of yours rolled her flat ass up in here,
I would not tell her
how you've been dicking down one of my gals.
Look, I don't need to tell you anything, man.
Oh, but you best tell me something.
You seem to already know a casino's coming.
Well, unless they plan on building a bridge over The Pynk,
it don't seem like I got too much a place in Promised Land.
Can you show me The Pynk?
It's not there.
Can you explain that to me, Andre motherfucking Watkins?
Like I said, I'm not allowed to speak on confidential matters.
Well, tell whoever you can speak to on confidential matters this...
until hell freeze over and the Devil learn how to ice -skate...
...I ain't going nowhere.
- You sure about that? - Oh, yeah.
Seem like The Pynk got a hole in its hull and no buckets for bailing.
You might be right about that.
But you can have some of this water...
...'cause you's a thirsty nigga.
Show him the door.
Sorry to wake you up so late, God-daddy, but I think we got us a problem.
Doggy.
You lucky.
You only had 30 minutes to spare before this wire expired.
You have a nice night, Ms. Savage.