1
00:00:37,006 --> 00:00:39,442
<i>Dear Evan Hansen...</i>

2
00:00:51,087 --> 00:00:54,391
<i>Today is going to be
an amazing day,</i>

3
00:00:54,490 --> 00:00:56,526
<i>and here's why.</i>

4
00:00:59,529 --> 00:01:04,067
<i>Because today, all you have
to do is just be yourself.</i>

5
00:01:05,702 --> 00:01:08,471
<i>But also confident.
That's-that's important.</i>

6
00:01:08,571 --> 00:01:10,273
<i>And interesting.
Easy to talk to.</i>

7
00:01:10,374 --> 00:01:12,108
<i>Approachable.
But mostly just be yourself.</i>

8
00:01:12,208 --> 00:01:13,919
<i>You know, that's number one,
obviously. Be yourself.</i>

9
00:01:13,943 --> 00:01:15,778
<i>But, like, a confident version
of yourself,</i>

10
00:01:15,878 --> 00:01:18,014
<i>like, approachable
and interesting</i>

11
00:01:18,114 --> 00:01:19,716
<i>and not weird or anxious
or depressed.</i>

12
00:01:19,816 --> 00:01:21,361
<i>But you're not weird
or anxious or depressed.</i>

13
00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:23,062
<i>I don't even know
why you're bringing it up.</i>

14
00:01:23,086 --> 00:01:24,397
<i>You can't be scared
to talk to other people.</i>

15
00:01:24,421 --> 00:01:25,788
<i>You said that you'd be better.</i>

16
00:01:25,888 --> 00:01:26,756
<i>You said this year
would be different.</i>

17
00:01:26,856 --> 00:01:27,890
<i>You're overthinking it.</i>

18
00:01:27,991 --> 00:01:29,360
<i>Do you like having no friends?</i>

19
00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:30,994
<i>All you have to do
is just be yourself.</i>

20
00:01:31,094 --> 00:01:33,896
♪ I've learned
to slam on the brake ♪

21
00:01:33,997 --> 00:01:37,600
♪ before I even turn the key ♪

22
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:40,670
♪ before I make the mistake ♪

23
00:01:40,770 --> 00:01:43,973
♪ before I lead
with the worst of me ♪

24
00:01:44,073 --> 00:01:47,176
♪ give them no reason to stare ♪

25
00:01:47,276 --> 00:01:50,780
♪ no slipping up
if you slip away ♪

26
00:01:50,880 --> 00:01:54,050
♪ so I got nothing to share ♪

27
00:01:54,150 --> 00:01:57,220
♪ no, I got nothing to say ♪

28
00:01:57,321 --> 00:01:59,622
♪ step out,
step out of the sun ♪

29
00:01:59,722 --> 00:02:02,658
♪ if you keep getting burned ♪

30
00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:08,698
♪ step out, step out of the sun
because you've learned ♪

31
00:02:08,798 --> 00:02:12,602
♪ because you've learned ♪

32
00:02:12,702 --> 00:02:15,104
♪ on the outside
always looking in ♪

33
00:02:15,204 --> 00:02:18,308
♪ will I ever be more
than I've always been? ♪

34
00:02:18,409 --> 00:02:22,011
♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap,
tapping on the glass ♪

35
00:02:22,111 --> 00:02:24,781
♪ I'm waving through a window ♪

36
00:02:24,881 --> 00:02:28,051
♪ oh, I try to speak,
but nobody can hear ♪

37
00:02:28,151 --> 00:02:32,288
♪ so I wait around
for an answer to appear ♪

38
00:02:32,389 --> 00:02:35,426
♪ while I'm watch, watch,
watching people pass ♪

39
00:02:35,526 --> 00:02:38,194
♪ I'm waving through a window ♪

40
00:02:38,294 --> 00:02:39,862
♪ oh ♪

41
00:02:40,663 --> 00:02:42,865
♪ can anybody see? ♪

42
00:02:42,965 --> 00:02:47,703
♪ Is anybody waving
back at me? ♪

43
00:02:58,014 --> 00:02:59,715
So you just didn't eat
last night?

44
00:02:59,816 --> 00:03:01,584
I wasn't hungry.

45
00:03:01,684 --> 00:03:03,119
You're a senior in high school.

46
00:03:03,219 --> 00:03:04,830
You need to be able
to order dinner for yourself.

47
00:03:04,854 --> 00:03:06,022
You can do it all online.

48
00:03:06,122 --> 00:03:07,890
You don't have to talk
to anybody.

49
00:03:07,990 --> 00:03:09,668
Okay, well, that's not, that's
not true, actually, though,

50
00:03:09,692 --> 00:03:11,404
because, um, the credit card's
expired, so you have to meet

51
00:03:11,428 --> 00:03:13,296
the delivery person
at the door, you know?

52
00:03:13,397 --> 00:03:14,773
You have to pay them
with cash at the door.

53
00:03:14,797 --> 00:03:16,032
You have to greet them.

54
00:03:16,132 --> 00:03:17,609
You know, you have
to figure out the right,

55
00:03:17,633 --> 00:03:19,602
the right, um...
The-the proper greeting.

56
00:03:19,702 --> 00:03:20,937
Okay.

57
00:03:22,038 --> 00:03:24,216
This is what you're supposed
to be working on, sweetheart,

58
00:03:24,240 --> 00:03:25,476
with Dr. Sherman.

59
00:03:25,576 --> 00:03:27,877
Have you been doing those
letters he wants you to do?

60
00:03:27,977 --> 00:03:29,313
"Dear Evan Hansen."

61
00:03:29,413 --> 00:03:32,715
I mean, I've definitely...
I-I've been trying to.

62
00:03:32,815 --> 00:03:33,926
Those letters are important,
honey.

63
00:03:33,950 --> 00:03:35,352
You have to keep working.

64
00:03:35,452 --> 00:03:38,054
We can't go back to where
you were last year, right?

65
00:03:38,154 --> 00:03:39,889
Um, you have an appointment
this afternoon.

66
00:03:39,989 --> 00:03:41,325
I'm working till 6:00,

67
00:03:41,425 --> 00:03:44,060
so you're gonna
have to take the bus.

68
00:03:44,160 --> 00:03:45,496
Hey.

69
00:03:45,596 --> 00:03:46,929
I thought you could go around

70
00:03:47,029 --> 00:03:49,566
and ask all the other kids
to sign your cast.

71
00:03:49,665 --> 00:03:51,167
Perfect icebreaker, right?

72
00:03:53,002 --> 00:03:55,705
- What happened to your shirt?
- There was a stain on it.

73
00:03:55,805 --> 00:03:57,707
- Wha... but it's brand-new.
- Yes, I know.

74
00:03:57,807 --> 00:03:59,842
I was... I'm so mad.

75
00:03:59,942 --> 00:04:02,446
♪ We start with stars
in our eyes ♪

76
00:04:03,413 --> 00:04:06,682
♪ we start believing
that we belong ♪

77
00:04:06,782 --> 00:04:09,886
♪ but every sun doesn't rise ♪

78
00:04:09,986 --> 00:04:13,222
♪ and no one tells you
where you went wrong ♪

79
00:04:13,323 --> 00:04:15,858
♪ step out,
step out of the sun ♪

80
00:04:15,958 --> 00:04:18,194
♪ if you keep getting burned ♪

81
00:04:19,762 --> 00:04:23,933
♪ step out, step out of the sun
because you've learned ♪

82
00:04:24,033 --> 00:04:26,235
♪ because you've learned ♪

83
00:04:26,336 --> 00:04:29,105
♪ on the outside
always looking in ♪

84
00:04:29,205 --> 00:04:31,941
♪ will I ever be more
than I've always been? ♪

85
00:04:32,041 --> 00:04:36,078
♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap,
tapping on the glass ♪

86
00:04:36,179 --> 00:04:38,315
♪ waving through a window ♪

87
00:04:38,415 --> 00:04:42,185
♪ oh, I try to speak,
but nobody can hear ♪

88
00:04:42,285 --> 00:04:45,288
♪ so I wait around
for an answer to appear ♪

89
00:04:45,389 --> 00:04:49,192
♪ while I'm watch, watch,
watching people pass ♪

90
00:04:49,292 --> 00:04:51,628
♪ waving through a window ♪

91
00:04:51,727 --> 00:04:53,262
♪ oh ♪

92
00:04:54,063 --> 00:04:56,400
♪ can anybody see? ♪

93
00:04:56,500 --> 00:04:58,801
♪ Is anybody waving? ♪

94
00:04:58,901 --> 00:05:00,179
♪ When you're falling
in a forest ♪

95
00:05:00,203 --> 00:05:02,171
♪ and there's nobody around ♪

96
00:05:02,271 --> 00:05:05,241
♪ do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? ♪

97
00:05:05,342 --> 00:05:06,876
♪ When you're falling
in a forest ♪

98
00:05:06,976 --> 00:05:08,579
♪ and there's nobody around ♪

99
00:05:08,679 --> 00:05:11,948
♪ do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? ♪

100
00:05:12,048 --> 00:05:13,650
♪ When you're falling
in a forest ♪

101
00:05:13,749 --> 00:05:15,284
♪ and there's nobody around ♪

102
00:05:15,385 --> 00:05:18,154
♪ do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? ♪

103
00:05:18,254 --> 00:05:20,189
♪ When you're falling
in a forest ♪

104
00:05:20,289 --> 00:05:22,024
♪ and there's nobody around ♪

105
00:05:22,124 --> 00:05:25,329
♪ do you ever really crash
or even make a sound? ♪

106
00:05:25,429 --> 00:05:28,332
♪ Did I even make a sound?
Did I even make a sound? ♪

107
00:05:28,432 --> 00:05:29,899
♪ It's like
I never made a sound ♪

108
00:05:29,999 --> 00:05:33,035
♪ will I ever make a sound? ♪

109
00:05:33,135 --> 00:05:35,572
♪ On the outside
always looking in ♪

110
00:05:35,672 --> 00:05:38,975
♪ will I ever be more
than I've always been? ♪

111
00:05:39,075 --> 00:05:42,646
♪ 'Cause I'm tap, tap,
tapping on the glass ♪

112
00:05:42,745 --> 00:05:44,514
♪ waving through a window ♪

113
00:05:44,615 --> 00:05:48,452
♪ oh, I try to speak,
but nobody can hear ♪

114
00:05:48,552 --> 00:05:51,954
♪ so I wait around
for an answer to appear ♪

115
00:05:52,054 --> 00:05:55,992
♪ while I'm watch, watch,
watching people pass ♪

116
00:05:56,092 --> 00:05:58,395
♪ waving through a window ♪

117
00:05:58,495 --> 00:05:59,996
♪ oh ♪

118
00:06:00,863 --> 00:06:03,099
♪ can anybody see? ♪

119
00:06:03,199 --> 00:06:08,771
♪ Is anybody waving
back at me? ♪

120
00:06:08,871 --> 00:06:12,108
♪ Is anybody waving? ♪

121
00:06:12,208 --> 00:06:15,646
♪ Waving, waving ♪

122
00:06:15,746 --> 00:06:17,913
♪ whoa... ♪

123
00:06:18,014 --> 00:06:23,687
♪ Whoa. ♪

124
00:06:23,786 --> 00:06:25,355
♪ Let's go, bobcats, let's go... ♪

125
00:06:27,658 --> 00:06:28,958
Evan.

126
00:06:30,394 --> 00:06:31,495
What?

127
00:06:31,595 --> 00:06:32,862
It's Zoe Murphy

128
00:06:32,962 --> 00:06:35,432
in that hot band shirt
you love so much.

129
00:06:35,532 --> 00:06:36,999
Can you just...
Can you please stop?

130
00:06:37,099 --> 00:06:38,568
Well, hey,
maybe she's into you, too.

131
00:06:38,669 --> 00:06:40,245
Maybe you should talk to her,
tell her how you feel.

132
00:06:40,269 --> 00:06:42,238
I've tried talking to her.

133
00:06:42,339 --> 00:06:43,607
Really?

134
00:06:43,707 --> 00:06:45,875
Yes. Yeah, I...

135
00:06:45,975 --> 00:06:47,377
I stayed afterwards,
um, last year

136
00:06:47,477 --> 00:06:49,211
after the spring
jazz band concert,

137
00:06:49,313 --> 00:06:50,714
but, um, I didn't go up to her

138
00:06:50,813 --> 00:06:52,716
because I was worried
that my hands were sweaty.

139
00:06:52,815 --> 00:06:54,460
Which they weren't even,
they weren't even that sweaty.

140
00:06:54,484 --> 00:06:56,061
I just... I was worried
that they were sweaty,

141
00:06:56,085 --> 00:06:57,563
and sometimes
worrying that they're sweaty

142
00:06:57,587 --> 00:06:59,264
makes them sweaty,
so I just went to the bathroom

143
00:06:59,288 --> 00:07:00,832
and I put 'em under, like,
the hand dryer thing,

144
00:07:00,856 --> 00:07:02,224
but then they were still sweaty.

145
00:07:02,326 --> 00:07:04,894
They were just, um...
They were just also warm.

146
00:07:06,396 --> 00:07:08,030
I was kidding.

147
00:07:08,130 --> 00:07:09,666
You obviously should not
talk to her.

148
00:07:09,766 --> 00:07:11,267
You are a literal disaster.

149
00:07:19,041 --> 00:07:20,976
Go, bobcats!

150
00:07:26,650 --> 00:07:28,552
Go, bobcats.

151
00:07:28,652 --> 00:07:29,652
So awesome.

152
00:07:29,720 --> 00:07:31,421
So awesome, everyone.

153
00:07:31,521 --> 00:07:32,723
Phenomenal, really.

154
00:07:32,823 --> 00:07:35,291
You know what's not phenomenal?

155
00:07:35,392 --> 00:07:36,426
Deforestation.

156
00:07:36,526 --> 00:07:38,861
So, what happened
to your arm exactly?

157
00:07:38,961 --> 00:07:41,598
Um, I was climbing a tree,
and I fell.

158
00:07:41,698 --> 00:07:43,032
It was stupid.

159
00:07:43,132 --> 00:07:45,301
You fell out of a tree?
What are you, five?

160
00:07:45,402 --> 00:07:47,036
Well, um...

161
00:07:47,136 --> 00:07:48,739
So, actually,
I-I worked this summer

162
00:07:48,839 --> 00:07:51,874
as an apprentice park ranger
at Ellison state park.

163
00:07:53,943 --> 00:07:56,078
It's a funny story,
though, because...

164
00:07:56,178 --> 00:07:58,090
There was, like, this solid
ten minutes after I fell

165
00:07:58,114 --> 00:07:59,616
where I just lay there
on the ground,

166
00:07:59,716 --> 00:08:02,051
um, waiting for someone
to come get me, you know?

167
00:08:02,151 --> 00:08:03,671
I was like, "any second now."
You know?

168
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,230
I just kept... I, like...
I was saying to myself,

169
00:08:05,254 --> 00:08:06,889
"any second now.
Here they come." So...

170
00:08:06,989 --> 00:08:08,325
Did they?

171
00:08:08,425 --> 00:08:09,425
No, nobody came.

172
00:08:09,459 --> 00:08:12,396
That's the, um...
That's what's funny.

173
00:08:12,496 --> 00:08:13,663
That's not funny.

174
00:08:13,764 --> 00:08:15,064
Model u.N...

175
00:08:15,164 --> 00:08:17,601
Well, anyways, um, how was...
Did you, um...

176
00:08:17,701 --> 00:08:18,968
How was camp?

177
00:08:19,068 --> 00:08:22,539
Well, I put on 13 pounds
of pure muscle.

178
00:08:22,639 --> 00:08:25,375
Also, I hooked up
with this Brazilian dude

179
00:08:25,475 --> 00:08:28,545
who is literally a supermodel.

180
00:08:29,546 --> 00:08:31,515
So, yeah, hope that answers
your question.

181
00:08:31,615 --> 00:08:35,852
So let's have mother nature's
back so that she'll have ours.

182
00:08:43,894 --> 00:08:45,629
Yeah! Yeah!

183
00:08:45,729 --> 00:08:48,130
All right, thank you, Alana.
Very inspirational.

184
00:08:48,230 --> 00:08:49,999
All right,
so let's have a great year,

185
00:08:50,099 --> 00:08:52,234
and, uh, go, bobcats!

186
00:09:01,977 --> 00:09:04,915
Hey, um...

187
00:09:05,014 --> 00:09:06,349
Would you want to sign my cast?

188
00:09:06,450 --> 00:09:08,083
Uh, you could,
you could be the first.

189
00:09:08,184 --> 00:09:10,019
Why would I do that?

190
00:09:10,821 --> 00:09:13,989
Well, I just... I thought, um,
because we're friends and...

191
00:09:14,089 --> 00:09:15,559
We're family friends, Evan.

192
00:09:15,659 --> 00:09:17,092
That's an entirely
different thing.

193
00:09:17,193 --> 00:09:18,728
Please respect that.

194
00:09:30,105 --> 00:09:31,775
Connor, I'm loving
this manicure.

195
00:09:31,875 --> 00:09:34,377
- Very school shooter chic.
- You're such an idiot.

196
00:09:34,478 --> 00:09:35,812
That is so not...

197
00:09:36,913 --> 00:09:39,114
♪ Here we go,
bobcats, here we go. ♪

198
00:09:45,956 --> 00:09:48,023
You think that's funny?

199
00:09:48,123 --> 00:09:50,527
What? No. Not-not at all.

200
00:09:52,329 --> 00:09:54,230
Then stop laughing!

201
00:10:04,774 --> 00:10:06,343
Hey.

202
00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,481
I'm sorry about my brother.

203
00:10:11,581 --> 00:10:13,383
He's a psycho.

204
00:10:14,918 --> 00:10:17,019
Evan, right?

205
00:10:17,821 --> 00:10:18,922
Evan?

206
00:10:19,689 --> 00:10:23,058
That-that's your,
that's your name?

207
00:10:23,158 --> 00:10:24,728
Y-Yeah, it is. It is. Sorry.

208
00:10:24,828 --> 00:10:26,763
It's Evan. It's Evan. I'm sorry.

209
00:10:26,863 --> 00:10:28,498
Why are you sorry?

210
00:10:28,598 --> 00:10:31,300
'Cause you s-s... you said Evan,
and then I said it, you know?

211
00:10:31,401 --> 00:10:33,503
I just repeated it,
which is, um...

212
00:10:33,603 --> 00:10:36,506
That's just really annoying
when people do that, so...

213
00:10:38,475 --> 00:10:39,809
I'm Zoe.

214
00:10:47,350 --> 00:10:50,353
Sorry.
I should... I think... sorry.

215
00:11:09,372 --> 00:11:11,007
<i>Dear Evan Hansen,</i>

216
00:11:11,106 --> 00:11:14,377
<i>turns out this wasn't
an amazing day after all.</i>

217
00:11:15,177 --> 00:11:18,280
<i>This isn't gonna be an
amazing week or an amazing year</i>

218
00:11:18,381 --> 00:11:20,784
<i>because why would it be?</i>

219
00:11:24,955 --> 00:11:26,957
<i>Oh, I know. Because there's Zoe.</i>

220
00:11:27,057 --> 00:11:31,595
<i>Who I don't even know
and who doesn't know me, but...</i>

221
00:11:33,530 --> 00:11:35,999
<i>Maybe if I did, maybe if
I could just talk to her,</i>

222
00:11:36,098 --> 00:11:38,501
<i>maybe things would be better.</i>

223
00:11:40,235 --> 00:11:41,771
<i>Or...</i>

224
00:11:42,872 --> 00:11:45,308
<i>Maybe nothing would be
different at all.</i>

225
00:11:47,276 --> 00:11:49,779
<i>I wish everything was different.</i>

226
00:11:49,879 --> 00:11:51,414
<i>I wish I was different.</i>

227
00:11:51,514 --> 00:11:53,049
<i>I wish I was part of something.</i>

228
00:11:53,148 --> 00:11:57,554
<i>I wish that anything I said
mattered to anyone.</i>

229
00:11:58,688 --> 00:12:01,791
<i>But it doesn't,
and it never did.</i>

230
00:12:03,593 --> 00:12:05,662
<i>And it never will.</i>

231
00:12:07,764 --> 00:12:13,168
<i>I mean, face it, would anyone
even notice if I just...</i>

232
00:12:13,268 --> 00:12:15,338
<i>Disappeared tomorrow?</i>

233
00:12:15,438 --> 00:12:19,109
<i>Sincerely, your best
and most dearest friend,</i>

234
00:12:19,208 --> 00:12:20,844
<i>me.</i>

235
00:12:28,084 --> 00:12:29,419
Hey.

236
00:12:29,519 --> 00:12:31,321
What happened to your arm?

237
00:12:34,324 --> 00:12:35,725
Um...

238
00:12:36,860 --> 00:12:38,828
I was climbing a tree,
and I fell.

239
00:12:38,928 --> 00:12:40,930
You fell out of a tree?

240
00:12:43,232 --> 00:12:45,702
That's the saddest thing
I've ever heard.

241
00:12:47,269 --> 00:12:48,838
I know.

242
00:12:56,278 --> 00:12:59,816
S-Sorry, um, I think I
accidentally printed something.

243
00:12:59,916 --> 00:13:01,885
Yeah, we're all waiting.

244
00:13:03,285 --> 00:13:05,388
Um, no one signed your cast.

245
00:13:06,389 --> 00:13:07,824
No, I-I know.

246
00:13:07,924 --> 00:13:09,125
I'll sign it.

247
00:13:09,926 --> 00:13:11,604
Oh, you don't...
You really don't have to...

248
00:13:11,628 --> 00:13:12,996
Do you have a sharpie?

249
00:13:13,096 --> 00:13:15,799
Oh, um, I don't. Shoot.

250
00:13:15,899 --> 00:13:17,634
Oh, here's one.

251
00:13:20,036 --> 00:13:21,571
Nice.

252
00:13:36,086 --> 00:13:38,688
Wow, that's great.

253
00:13:38,788 --> 00:13:41,891
Now we can both pretend
we have friends.

254
00:13:47,964 --> 00:13:49,766
Uh, "dear Evan Hansen."
Here you go.

255
00:13:49,866 --> 00:13:51,534
Y-Yeah, that's mine.
That's mine.

256
00:13:51,634 --> 00:13:54,003
- I'll... I can take it, sorry.
- "Because there's Zoe..."

257
00:13:55,138 --> 00:13:56,439
Is this about my sister?

258
00:13:56,539 --> 00:13:59,274
What? No, no.
Who's-who's your sister?

259
00:13:59,375 --> 00:14:02,011
- You wanted me to find this?
- What?

260
00:14:02,112 --> 00:14:05,215
You saw I was here,
so you started writing this

261
00:14:05,315 --> 00:14:06,659
- and you started talking to me.
- No.

262
00:14:06,683 --> 00:14:07,883
No, you started talking to me.

263
00:14:07,917 --> 00:14:09,357
So that I would read
some creepy shit

264
00:14:09,452 --> 00:14:11,154
about my sister
and freak out, right?

265
00:14:11,253 --> 00:14:13,165
- Why would I do that?
- So then you can tell everyone

266
00:14:13,189 --> 00:14:15,257
that I'm crazy. Right?

267
00:14:15,358 --> 00:14:18,328
- Right?!
- Gentlemen!

268
00:14:19,496 --> 00:14:21,263
No, I really...

269
00:14:21,364 --> 00:14:23,867
Look, I really need that back,
so can...

270
00:14:23,967 --> 00:14:26,035
Look, can you please
just give it back?

271
00:14:32,575 --> 00:14:34,644
Just-just please don't
show it to anyone.

272
00:14:34,744 --> 00:14:35,912
Connor!

273
00:14:47,357 --> 00:14:49,092
Come on.

274
00:14:50,593 --> 00:14:52,929
Shit, shit.

275
00:15:29,933 --> 00:15:31,034
Hi.

276
00:15:31,134 --> 00:15:32,836
Hi, honey. I'm so sorry.

277
00:15:32,936 --> 00:15:34,547
Erica called in at the
last minute with a stomach bug,

278
00:15:34,571 --> 00:15:36,840
and there's only
one other nurse on tonight,

279
00:15:36,940 --> 00:15:38,942
so I-I volunteered
to take her shift.

280
00:15:39,042 --> 00:15:40,710
I hope you weren't
waiting for me to eat.

281
00:15:40,810 --> 00:15:43,446
- No, I already ate.
- Um, it's just they, uh,

282
00:15:43,546 --> 00:15:45,292
they announced
more budget cuts this morning,

283
00:15:45,316 --> 00:15:46,482
so anything I can do to show

284
00:15:46,583 --> 00:15:47,760
that I'm a team player,
you know?

285
00:15:47,784 --> 00:15:49,719
- How was your day?
- Fine.

286
00:15:49,819 --> 00:15:51,187
It was, it was pretty good.

287
00:15:51,287 --> 00:15:54,057
Yeah? You know, I-I texted
with meera this morning,

288
00:15:54,157 --> 00:15:55,658
and she said that Jared was

289
00:15:55,758 --> 00:15:57,961
really looking forward
to seeing you and reconnecting.

290
00:15:58,061 --> 00:15:59,429
I thought that was nice.

291
00:15:59,529 --> 00:16:01,798
Yeah, he's so nice.

292
00:16:01,898 --> 00:16:03,566
- How was Dr. Sherman?
- Pretty good.

293
00:16:03,666 --> 00:16:05,668
Any change to your meds?

294
00:16:07,103 --> 00:16:08,538
Um, no.

295
00:16:08,638 --> 00:16:10,974
Oh, god, here he comes.
Um, all right, i-i-i...

296
00:16:11,074 --> 00:16:12,343
All right, love you. Bye.

297
00:16:12,442 --> 00:16:14,844
Okay, I love you...

298
00:16:14,944 --> 00:16:16,446
Too.

299
00:16:19,048 --> 00:16:20,817
<i>A letter to yourself.
I mean, what is that,</i>

300
00:16:20,917 --> 00:16:22,619
like some kind of sex thing?

301
00:16:22,719 --> 00:16:24,254
No. No, it's not a sex thing.

302
00:16:24,355 --> 00:16:26,065
It's... it was an assignment
from my therapist.

303
00:16:26,089 --> 00:16:27,891
Ew. Why-why are you
telling me this?

304
00:16:27,991 --> 00:16:29,431
Well, I didn't know
who else to tell.

305
00:16:29,492 --> 00:16:31,494
You're my only f...
Family friend.

306
00:16:31,594 --> 00:16:32,862
Oh, that's sad.

307
00:16:32,962 --> 00:16:34,697
Look, Connor isn't here
again today.

308
00:16:34,797 --> 00:16:36,333
That's-that's
three days in a row.

309
00:16:36,432 --> 00:16:38,472
And h-he hasn't done anything
with it yet, you know,

310
00:16:38,534 --> 00:16:39,745
like put it online or whatever,

311
00:16:39,769 --> 00:16:41,271
because I've-I've been checking.

312
00:16:41,372 --> 00:16:44,107
So, you know, maybe he just...
Maybe he forgot, right?

313
00:16:44,207 --> 00:16:46,009
Right. Right.

314
00:16:46,109 --> 00:16:47,243
Or maybe he didn't,

315
00:16:47,344 --> 00:16:48,988
because he's definitely
gonna put it online.

316
00:16:49,012 --> 00:16:50,980
Dude, Connor Murphy is batshit.

317
00:16:51,080 --> 00:16:53,120
Don't you remember when
he threw a printer at Mrs. g

318
00:16:53,182 --> 00:16:55,718
in the second grade because
he couldn't be line leader?

319
00:16:55,818 --> 00:16:57,453
Like, he was seven.

320
00:16:57,553 --> 00:16:59,622
Just imagine
what he's capable of now.

321
00:16:59,722 --> 00:17:01,557
Evan Hansen, please report

322
00:17:01,658 --> 00:17:03,026
to Mr. Howard's office.

323
00:17:03,126 --> 00:17:04,961
Oh, damn.

324
00:17:10,334 --> 00:17:12,502
Evan.

325
00:17:15,406 --> 00:17:18,875
Connor Murphy's mother and
stepfather are here to see you.

326
00:17:18,975 --> 00:17:20,877
They want to speak in private.

327
00:17:43,266 --> 00:17:45,034
Hi.

328
00:17:46,936 --> 00:17:48,037
Hello.

329
00:17:49,806 --> 00:17:51,574
Why don't you go ahead, honey.

330
00:17:51,674 --> 00:17:53,509
I'm going as fast as I can.

331
00:17:53,609 --> 00:17:56,779
Well, that's not
what I said, is it?

332
00:17:59,416 --> 00:18:01,150
This is...

333
00:18:02,952 --> 00:18:06,122
Connor wanted you to have this.

334
00:18:19,168 --> 00:18:21,637
Yeah, we didn't know
you were friends.

335
00:18:21,738 --> 00:18:23,072
Oh, well, we didn't think

336
00:18:23,172 --> 00:18:25,975
Connor had any friends,
frankly, and...

337
00:18:26,075 --> 00:18:28,778
And then we see this note,
and it seems to suggest

338
00:18:28,878 --> 00:18:31,348
pretty clearly that
you and Connor were, uh...

339
00:18:31,448 --> 00:18:33,950
Or at least for Connor...

340
00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:36,052
"Dear Evan Hansen."
He addressed it to you.

341
00:18:36,152 --> 00:18:38,054
He wrote it to you.

342
00:18:38,154 --> 00:18:41,057
These are the words that
he wanted to share with you.

343
00:18:43,860 --> 00:18:46,796
His last words.

344
00:18:48,765 --> 00:18:51,167
Connor took his own life.

345
00:18:55,339 --> 00:18:56,739
He what?

346
00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:59,809
This is all we found with him.

347
00:18:59,909 --> 00:19:03,179
He had it folded up
in his pocket.

348
00:19:07,550 --> 00:19:09,786
But this is...

349
00:19:09,886 --> 00:19:11,888
I'm sorry, Connor didn't...
He...

350
00:19:11,988 --> 00:19:13,189
He didn't write this.

351
00:19:13,289 --> 00:19:15,691
Connor didn't,
Connor didn't write this.

352
00:19:15,792 --> 00:19:17,960
What-what does that mean?

353
00:19:18,061 --> 00:19:19,629
Well, he's obviously in shock.

354
00:19:19,729 --> 00:19:21,874
- I mean, if Connor didn't write this...
- I'm so sorry.

355
00:19:21,898 --> 00:19:23,766
Can I just...
I should probably go, please.

356
00:19:23,866 --> 00:19:25,277
No, you don't understand.
This is all that we have.

357
00:19:25,301 --> 00:19:28,137
This is the only thing
that we have left.

358
00:19:28,237 --> 00:19:30,840
- Cynthia, listen to me.
- No. No. Don't-don't go.

359
00:19:30,940 --> 00:19:32,700
Okay, then you take it.
Please take it, okay?

360
00:19:32,742 --> 00:19:33,742
No. No, don't go.

361
00:19:33,776 --> 00:19:36,279
Don't. Please stay. Please.

362
00:19:41,851 --> 00:19:44,854
His best
and most dearest friend.

363
00:19:58,569 --> 00:20:01,104
That's-that's Connor.

364
00:20:01,204 --> 00:20:02,271
Connor Murphy.

365
00:20:04,341 --> 00:20:05,842
Holy shit.

366
00:20:05,942 --> 00:20:07,344
They invited me for dinner.

367
00:20:07,444 --> 00:20:09,364
They want to know more stuff
about Connor and me,

368
00:20:09,446 --> 00:20:11,448
about our... friendship.

369
00:20:11,548 --> 00:20:13,216
- A-And you said yes?
- I froze.

370
00:20:13,317 --> 00:20:16,185
Well... what are you
gonna tell them?

371
00:20:16,285 --> 00:20:17,554
I mean, the truth.

372
00:20:17,653 --> 00:20:19,021
I-I don't know, man.

373
00:20:19,122 --> 00:20:20,599
I mean, are you really
gonna tell these people

374
00:20:20,623 --> 00:20:22,234
that the only thing
they have left of their son

375
00:20:22,258 --> 00:20:24,595
is a sex letter
that you wrote to yourself?

376
00:20:24,727 --> 00:20:25,828
Hey.

377
00:20:25,928 --> 00:20:28,332
I'm so sorry.

378
00:20:28,432 --> 00:20:30,266
What the hell was that?

379
00:20:30,367 --> 00:20:32,668
I don't know.

380
00:20:32,768 --> 00:20:34,505
Oh, my god,
they were so sad, his parents.

381
00:20:34,605 --> 00:20:38,074
I mean, his-his mom was just...

382
00:20:39,208 --> 00:20:41,744
I've never seen anyone
so sad before.

383
00:20:49,018 --> 00:20:51,254
I have to tell them.

384
00:21:08,237 --> 00:21:09,439
You're early.

385
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,842
Oh. S-Sorry.

386
00:21:24,655 --> 00:21:26,390
Sit.

387
00:21:31,395 --> 00:21:33,430
I hope you're hungry.

388
00:21:49,946 --> 00:21:51,448
So...

389
00:21:52,949 --> 00:21:54,418
You and Connor.

390
00:21:54,518 --> 00:21:57,019
You probably spent
a lot of time together, I bet.

391
00:21:58,921 --> 00:22:01,491
So, um, not...

392
00:22:01,592 --> 00:22:03,259
Not really, actually.

393
00:22:03,360 --> 00:22:06,463
- Uh, the thing is that I...
- We looked through his phone.

394
00:22:07,564 --> 00:22:10,266
His texts, emails.

395
00:22:10,367 --> 00:22:11,801
We didn't find anything
from you.

396
00:22:11,901 --> 00:22:13,069
Yeah, no, I know.

397
00:22:13,169 --> 00:22:14,547
- I know.
- He set up different accounts,

398
00:22:14,571 --> 00:22:16,105
ones we couldn't find.

399
00:22:16,205 --> 00:22:17,840
He knew you read his emails.

400
00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:20,109
Well, somebody had to be
the bad guy.

401
00:22:20,209 --> 00:22:22,646
Well, if you did have any

402
00:22:22,745 --> 00:22:25,948
emails or conversations
between the two of you,

403
00:22:26,048 --> 00:22:28,951
we'd love to see anything.

404
00:22:29,051 --> 00:22:31,020
- Well...
- Yeah, it's-it's weird.

405
00:22:31,120 --> 00:22:33,122
Th-the only time
I saw you two together was

406
00:22:33,222 --> 00:22:35,925
when he was screaming in
your face at school last week.

407
00:22:36,025 --> 00:22:37,361
He was screaming at you?

408
00:22:37,461 --> 00:22:38,528
Yeah, yeah, um...

409
00:22:38,629 --> 00:22:40,397
Well, that wasn't very nice.

410
00:22:40,497 --> 00:22:43,899
Well, Connor wasn't very nice,
so that actually makes sense.

411
00:22:46,302 --> 00:22:48,572
I think that everybody
at this table can agree

412
00:22:48,672 --> 00:22:50,773
that Connor was, um...

413
00:22:51,874 --> 00:22:54,076
A complicated person.

414
00:22:54,176 --> 00:22:56,245
No, he was a bad person.

415
00:22:56,346 --> 00:22:59,215
- Zoe, please.
- Don't pretend like you don't agree with me.

416
00:22:59,316 --> 00:23:01,851
You refuse to remember
any of the good things.

417
00:23:01,951 --> 00:23:05,121
Because there were
no good things.

418
00:23:05,221 --> 00:23:07,923
What-what were the good things?

419
00:23:08,024 --> 00:23:09,526
I'm not having this conversation

420
00:23:09,626 --> 00:23:12,763
- in front of our guest.
- No, tell us the good things.

421
00:23:12,862 --> 00:23:14,364
What were the good things?

422
00:23:14,464 --> 00:23:16,466
- Family day at sunny Glen?
- Zoe!

423
00:23:16,566 --> 00:23:17,833
This is not the time.

424
00:23:17,933 --> 00:23:19,436
Who knew rehab
could be so much fun?

425
00:23:19,536 --> 00:23:21,003
There were good things.

426
00:23:21,672 --> 00:23:24,541
I'm not the only one.

427
00:23:24,641 --> 00:23:26,042
You remember, right?

428
00:23:29,812 --> 00:23:30,813
Right.

429
00:23:30,913 --> 00:23:32,148
Of course.

430
00:23:32,248 --> 00:23:33,883
Yes, of course
there were good things.

431
00:23:33,983 --> 00:23:36,753
Tell us something.

432
00:23:36,852 --> 00:23:38,220
Please, Evan.

433
00:23:41,957 --> 00:23:43,859
Right, um...

434
00:23:43,959 --> 00:23:46,028
S... uh, Connor and I...

435
00:23:47,263 --> 00:23:49,865
Uh, I d... I don't know, um...

436
00:23:51,702 --> 00:23:53,269
We had a really great...

437
00:23:53,370 --> 00:23:56,506
We had a really great time
together, um...

438
00:23:56,606 --> 00:23:58,207
This one day recently.

439
00:23:58,308 --> 00:24:02,446
That's something good,
um, that I remember.

440
00:24:02,546 --> 00:24:03,846
That day.

441
00:24:03,946 --> 00:24:05,615
Um...

442
00:24:05,716 --> 00:24:08,117
Yeah, that awesome day at the...

443
00:24:08,884 --> 00:24:10,953
Um, trees.

444
00:24:12,823 --> 00:24:14,691
- Trees?
- Never mind, never mind.

445
00:24:14,791 --> 00:24:17,561
I'm sorry, I don't, I don't...
I shouldn't have said anything,

446
00:24:17,661 --> 00:24:19,363
and I-I knew it was stupid,
so I'm sorry...

447
00:24:19,463 --> 00:24:21,063
You don't mean the orchard,
do you?

448
00:24:24,133 --> 00:24:26,603
He took you to the apple orchard?

449
00:24:26,703 --> 00:24:28,672
- When?
- Uh, once.

450
00:24:28,772 --> 00:24:30,005
Just-just once. That once.

451
00:24:30,106 --> 00:24:32,509
I thought that place closed
years ago.

452
00:24:32,609 --> 00:24:34,620
Well, the hiking trails are
still open though, aren't they?

453
00:24:34,644 --> 00:24:37,213
We used to go to the orchard
all of the time.

454
00:24:37,314 --> 00:24:39,081
We'd do picnics there.

455
00:24:39,181 --> 00:24:40,916
Do you remember that, Zoe?

456
00:24:41,016 --> 00:24:42,452
Yeah, I do.

457
00:24:42,552 --> 00:24:45,087
And you and Connor would fly
that little toy plane

458
00:24:45,187 --> 00:24:47,424
until you crashed it
into the creek.

459
00:24:48,924 --> 00:24:50,327
That was an emergency landing.

460
00:24:50,427 --> 00:24:53,497
I can't believe
that he took you there.

461
00:24:53,597 --> 00:24:55,297
I bet you had fun.

462
00:24:55,399 --> 00:24:58,535
I bet the two of you... I...

463
00:24:58,635 --> 00:25:00,570
I bet that was fun.

464
00:25:01,571 --> 00:25:03,807
Yeah.

465
00:25:03,906 --> 00:25:05,709
We did. We did.

466
00:25:05,809 --> 00:25:06,710
The whole day.

467
00:25:06,810 --> 00:25:09,713
Uh, it-it was just...

468
00:25:12,281 --> 00:25:14,351
♪ End of may or early June ♪

469
00:25:14,451 --> 00:25:19,356
♪ this picture-perfect
afternoon we share ♪

470
00:25:20,590 --> 00:25:23,527
What was the name of that
ice cream place that we loved?

471
00:25:23,627 --> 00:25:24,661
Gifford's?

472
00:25:25,862 --> 00:25:26,897
A la mode.

473
00:25:26,996 --> 00:25:28,565
That's it. A la mode.

474
00:25:28,665 --> 00:25:30,933
And they had
this homemade hot fudge.

475
00:25:31,033 --> 00:25:34,303
♪ Drive the winding
country road ♪

476
00:25:34,404 --> 00:25:36,972
♪ grab a scoop at a la mode ♪

477
00:25:37,072 --> 00:25:38,508
♪ and then we're there ♪

478
00:25:38,608 --> 00:25:41,445
And we'd sit in that Meadow
by the pine trees,

479
00:25:41,545 --> 00:25:44,581
and you and your brother would
look for four-leaf clovers.

480
00:25:44,681 --> 00:25:47,350
♪ An open field
that's framed with trees ♪

481
00:25:47,451 --> 00:25:50,420
♪ we pick a spot and... ♪

482
00:25:50,520 --> 00:25:53,323
♪ Shoot the breeze
like buddies do ♪

483
00:25:53,423 --> 00:25:56,493
♪ uh, quoting songs
by our favorite bands ♪

484
00:25:56,593 --> 00:25:59,329
♪ telling jokes
no one understands ♪

485
00:25:59,429 --> 00:26:02,031
♪ except us two ♪

486
00:26:02,131 --> 00:26:07,069
♪ and we talk
and take in the view ♪

487
00:26:09,171 --> 00:26:13,677
♪ all we see is sky
for forever ♪

488
00:26:13,777 --> 00:26:19,549
♪ we let the world
pass by for forever ♪

489
00:26:19,649 --> 00:26:25,522
♪ feels like we could go on
for forever this way ♪

490
00:26:27,056 --> 00:26:30,694
♪ two friends on a perfect day ♪

491
00:26:32,729 --> 00:26:35,465
I'd completely forgotten
about that place.

492
00:26:35,565 --> 00:26:38,869
Well, I guess Connor didn't,
did he?

493
00:26:39,703 --> 00:26:42,339
♪ We walk a while
and talk about ♪

494
00:26:42,439 --> 00:26:46,643
♪ the things we'll do
when we get out of school ♪

495
00:26:46,743 --> 00:26:49,479
♪ um...
Bike the appalachian trail ♪

496
00:26:49,579 --> 00:26:52,214
♪ or write a book
or learn to sail ♪

497
00:26:52,315 --> 00:26:54,518
♪ wouldn't that be cool? ♪

498
00:26:54,618 --> 00:26:57,086
♪ There's nothing
that we can't discuss ♪

499
00:26:57,186 --> 00:26:59,990
♪ like girls
we wish would notice us ♪

500
00:27:00,089 --> 00:27:02,057
♪ but never do ♪

501
00:27:02,157 --> 00:27:04,494
♪ he looks around
and says to me ♪

502
00:27:04,594 --> 00:27:06,997
♪ "there's nowhere else
I'd rather be" ♪

503
00:27:07,096 --> 00:27:08,565
♪ and I say, "me, too" ♪

504
00:27:08,665 --> 00:27:13,370
♪ and we talk
and take in the view ♪

505
00:27:14,471 --> 00:27:19,141
♪ we just talk
and take in the view ♪

506
00:27:20,209 --> 00:27:23,647
♪ all we see is sky
for forever ♪

507
00:27:23,747 --> 00:27:29,686
♪ we let the world
pass by for forever ♪

508
00:27:29,786 --> 00:27:35,992
♪ feels like we could go on
for forever this way ♪

509
00:27:36,091 --> 00:27:40,195
♪ this way ♪

510
00:27:40,296 --> 00:27:45,167
♪ all we see is light
for forever ♪

511
00:27:45,267 --> 00:27:50,006
♪ 'cause the sun
shines bright for forever ♪

512
00:27:50,105 --> 00:27:56,880
♪ like we'll be all right
for forever this way ♪

513
00:27:56,980 --> 00:28:02,284
♪ two friends on a perfect day ♪

514
00:28:02,385 --> 00:28:04,253
♪ and there he goes ♪

515
00:28:04,354 --> 00:28:06,990
♪ racing toward
the tallest tree ♪

516
00:28:07,089 --> 00:28:09,258
♪ from far across
a yellow field ♪

517
00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:12,127
♪ I hear him calling,
"follow me" ♪

518
00:28:12,227 --> 00:28:13,797
♪ there we go ♪

519
00:28:13,897 --> 00:28:17,099
♪ wondering how the world
might look from up so high ♪

520
00:28:17,199 --> 00:28:19,636
♪ one foot after the other ♪

521
00:28:19,736 --> 00:28:22,038
♪ one branch then to another ♪

522
00:28:22,137 --> 00:28:24,139
♪ I climb higher and higher ♪

523
00:28:24,239 --> 00:28:27,209
♪ I climb till the entire sun ♪

524
00:28:27,310 --> 00:28:33,550
♪ shines on my face ♪

525
00:28:35,585 --> 00:28:41,391
♪ and I suddenly feel
the branch give way ♪

526
00:28:45,227 --> 00:28:47,296
♪ I'm on the ground ♪

527
00:28:48,865 --> 00:28:50,900
♪ my arm goes numb ♪

528
00:28:53,135 --> 00:28:54,904
♪ I look around ♪

529
00:28:55,005 --> 00:28:57,841
♪ and I see him come to get me ♪

530
00:29:00,010 --> 00:29:02,545
He's come to get me.

531
00:29:04,581 --> 00:29:07,450
♪ And everything's okay ♪

532
00:29:10,320 --> 00:29:14,891
♪ all we see is sky
for forever ♪

533
00:29:14,991 --> 00:29:20,530
♪ we let the world
pass by for forever ♪

534
00:29:21,765 --> 00:29:28,270
♪ buddy, you and I
for forever this way ♪

535
00:29:28,371 --> 00:29:31,441
♪ this way ♪

536
00:29:31,541 --> 00:29:37,113
♪ all we see is light ♪

537
00:29:37,212 --> 00:29:41,718
♪ 'cause the sun burns bright ♪

538
00:29:41,818 --> 00:29:46,089
♪ we could be all right
for forever ♪

539
00:29:46,188 --> 00:29:51,226
♪ this way ♪

540
00:29:51,327 --> 00:29:53,730
♪ two friends ♪

541
00:29:55,498 --> 00:29:57,333
♪ true friends ♪

542
00:29:57,434 --> 00:30:00,603
♪ on a perfect ♪

543
00:30:01,771 --> 00:30:07,677
♪ day. ♪

544
00:30:08,945 --> 00:30:11,414
Thank you, Evan.

545
00:30:11,514 --> 00:30:14,651
Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

546
00:30:17,921 --> 00:30:19,689
I mean,
they think you were lovers.

547
00:30:19,789 --> 00:30:21,691
- You realize that, right?
- Oh, my god.

548
00:30:21,791 --> 00:30:23,402
I thought you were gonna
tell them the truth.

549
00:30:23,426 --> 00:30:24,861
I-I-I tried, but then I just...

550
00:30:24,961 --> 00:30:26,563
I got nervous
and I started talking.

551
00:30:26,663 --> 00:30:28,164
And then once I started,
I just...

552
00:30:28,263 --> 00:30:30,066
Couldn't stop.

553
00:30:30,166 --> 00:30:31,568
They didn't want me to stop.

554
00:30:31,668 --> 00:30:33,570
What else did you say to them?

555
00:30:33,670 --> 00:30:35,781
Uh, his mom thinks that
we wrote emails to each other.

556
00:30:35,805 --> 00:30:36,940
Oh, perfect.

557
00:30:37,040 --> 00:30:39,109
Sh-she thinks he had,
like, secret accounts.

558
00:30:39,209 --> 00:30:40,877
Ha, yes. Secret email accounts.

559
00:30:40,977 --> 00:30:42,912
That's what all the cool kids are doing.

560
00:30:43,012 --> 00:30:44,347
Hansen! Kalwani!

561
00:30:44,447 --> 00:30:45,582
Pick it up!

562
00:30:45,682 --> 00:30:47,817
- No, thank you.
- What was that?

563
00:30:47,917 --> 00:30:51,054
I said thank you
for the encouragement!

564
00:30:51,154 --> 00:30:52,155
Fascist.

565
00:30:52,254 --> 00:30:53,857
She wants to see the emails.

566
00:30:53,957 --> 00:30:56,326
And now you want me to make
a bunch of fake emails for you.

567
00:30:56,426 --> 00:30:57,866
- Classic.
- You know how to do that?

568
00:30:57,927 --> 00:31:00,330
- It's simple coding.
- But you failed coding.

569
00:31:00,430 --> 00:31:02,297
If you consider
a d-minus failing.

570
00:31:02,398 --> 00:31:03,700
Just so we're clear,

571
00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,243
I charge a minimum
of two grand per email,

572
00:31:05,267 --> 00:31:06,412
and that is a floor,
not a ceiling.

573
00:31:06,436 --> 00:31:08,104
- $2,000?
- 500.

574
00:31:08,204 --> 00:31:09,448
I didn't even ask for your help.

575
00:31:09,472 --> 00:31:10,883
250, bottom line.
Take it or leave it.

576
00:31:10,907 --> 00:31:12,509
I could probably
give you 20 bucks.

577
00:31:12,609 --> 00:31:14,649
Fine, but I'm not gonna act
like I'm happy about it.

578
00:31:16,713 --> 00:31:18,348
♪ Dear Evan Hansen ♪

579
00:31:18,448 --> 00:31:21,584
♪ we've been
way too out of touch ♪

580
00:31:21,684 --> 00:31:23,153
♪ things have been crazy ♪

581
00:31:23,253 --> 00:31:26,356
♪ and it sucks
that we don't talk that much ♪

582
00:31:26,456 --> 00:31:31,227
♪ but I should tell you that
I think of you each night ♪

583
00:31:31,327 --> 00:31:35,431
♪ I rub my nipples and
start moaning with delight ♪

584
00:31:35,532 --> 00:31:36,699
Why would you write that?

585
00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,168
I'm just trying
to make it erotic.

586
00:31:38,268 --> 00:31:39,512
Look, if you can't
take this seriously, then...

587
00:31:39,536 --> 00:31:40,703
Ugh, calm yourself, honey.

588
00:31:40,804 --> 00:31:42,205
I just want to get this
over with.

589
00:31:42,304 --> 00:31:44,073
♪ I gotta tell you ♪

590
00:31:44,174 --> 00:31:46,576
♪ life without you
has been hard ♪

591
00:31:46,676 --> 00:31:47,756
- "Hard"?
- ♪ has been bad ♪

592
00:31:47,844 --> 00:31:49,212
- "Bad"?
- Has been rough.

593
00:31:49,312 --> 00:31:50,580
- Kinky.
- Please stop.

594
00:31:50,680 --> 00:31:52,582
♪ And I miss
talking about life ♪

595
00:31:52,682 --> 00:31:54,117
♪ and other stuff ♪

596
00:31:54,217 --> 00:31:56,052
- Very specific.
- Shut up.

597
00:31:56,152 --> 00:31:58,388
- ♪ I like my parents ♪
- who says that?

598
00:31:58,488 --> 00:32:00,356
♪ I love my parents ♪

599
00:32:00,456 --> 00:32:02,792
♪ but each day's another fight ♪

600
00:32:03,593 --> 00:32:05,395
♪ if I stop smoking drugs ♪

601
00:32:05,495 --> 00:32:08,064
♪ then everything
might be all right ♪

602
00:32:08,164 --> 00:32:09,365
"Smoking drugs"?

603
00:32:09,465 --> 00:32:10,867
Just fix it!

604
00:32:10,967 --> 00:32:13,436
- ♪ If I stop smoking crack ♪
- "crack"?

605
00:32:13,536 --> 00:32:15,371
♪ If I stop smoking pot ♪

606
00:32:15,471 --> 00:32:18,374
♪ then everything
might be all right ♪

607
00:32:18,474 --> 00:32:20,610
♪ I'll take your advice ♪

608
00:32:20,710 --> 00:32:23,513
♪ I'll try to be more nice ♪

609
00:32:23,613 --> 00:32:24,914
♪ I'll turn it around ♪

610
00:32:25,014 --> 00:32:28,251
♪ wait and see ♪

611
00:32:28,351 --> 00:32:33,056
♪ 'cause all that it takes
is a little reinvention ♪

612
00:32:33,156 --> 00:32:37,861
♪ it's easy to change
if you give it your attention ♪

613
00:32:37,961 --> 00:32:40,430
♪ all you got to do
is just believe ♪

614
00:32:40,530 --> 00:32:43,233
♪ you can be
who you want to be ♪

615
00:32:43,334 --> 00:32:45,535
♪ sincerely, me ♪

616
00:32:45,635 --> 00:32:46,970
Are we done?

617
00:32:47,070 --> 00:32:48,714
Well, I mean, I can't
just show them one email.

618
00:32:48,738 --> 00:32:50,640
I want to show that I was,
like, a good friend.

619
00:32:50,740 --> 00:32:52,942
That I was trying
to help him, you know?

620
00:32:53,042 --> 00:32:54,410
Oh, my god.

621
00:32:54,510 --> 00:32:56,512
♪ Dear Connor Murphy ♪

622
00:32:56,613 --> 00:33:00,049
♪ yes, I also miss our talks ♪

623
00:33:00,149 --> 00:33:01,584
♪ stop doing drugs ♪

624
00:33:01,684 --> 00:33:04,321
♪ just try to take deep breaths
and go on walks ♪

625
00:33:04,420 --> 00:33:06,422
- No.
- ♪ I'm sending pictures ♪

626
00:33:06,522 --> 00:33:08,424
♪ of the most amazing trees ♪

627
00:33:08,524 --> 00:33:09,759
No.

628
00:33:09,859 --> 00:33:11,427
♪ You'll be obsessed with ♪

629
00:33:11,527 --> 00:33:14,297
- ♪ all my forest expertise ♪
- what?

630
00:33:14,397 --> 00:33:17,267
♪ Dude, I'm proud of you ♪

631
00:33:17,368 --> 00:33:20,069
♪ just keep pushing through ♪

632
00:33:20,169 --> 00:33:22,238
♪ you're turning around,
I can see ♪

633
00:33:22,339 --> 00:33:24,107
♪ just wait and see ♪

634
00:33:24,207 --> 00:33:29,445
♪ 'cause all that it takes
is a little reinvention ♪

635
00:33:29,545 --> 00:33:34,385
♪ it's easy to change
if you give it your attention ♪

636
00:33:34,484 --> 00:33:36,886
♪ all you got to do
is just believe ♪

637
00:33:36,986 --> 00:33:39,622
♪ you can be
who you want to be ♪

638
00:33:39,722 --> 00:33:41,524
♪ sincerely, me ♪

639
00:33:41,624 --> 00:33:42,692
♪ my sister's hot ♪

640
00:33:42,792 --> 00:33:44,460
- What the hell?
- My bad.

641
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:45,962
♪ Dear Evan Hansen ♪

642
00:33:46,062 --> 00:33:49,599
♪ thanks for every note
you send ♪

643
00:33:49,699 --> 00:33:50,967
♪ dear Connor Murphy ♪

644
00:33:51,067 --> 00:33:54,371
♪ I'm just glad
to be your friend ♪

645
00:33:54,470 --> 00:33:56,773
♪ our friendship goes beyond ♪

646
00:33:56,873 --> 00:33:59,310
♪ your average kind of bond ♪

647
00:33:59,410 --> 00:34:01,611
♪ but not because they're gay ♪

648
00:34:01,711 --> 00:34:03,212
♪ no, not because... ♪

649
00:34:03,314 --> 00:34:04,580
♪ Well, anyway ♪

650
00:34:04,681 --> 00:34:06,783
♪ you're getting better
every day ♪

651
00:34:06,883 --> 00:34:09,018
♪ I'm getting better every day ♪

652
00:34:09,118 --> 00:34:10,520
- ♪ keep ♪
- ♪ getting ♪

653
00:34:10,620 --> 00:34:11,322
- ♪ better ♪
- ♪ every ♪

654
00:34:11,422 --> 00:34:12,423
♪ day ♪

655
00:34:12,522 --> 00:34:14,023
♪ hey, hey, hey, hey ♪

656
00:34:14,123 --> 00:34:18,995
♪ 'cause all that it takes
is a little reinvention ♪

657
00:34:19,095 --> 00:34:23,833
♪ it's easy to change
if you give it your attention ♪

658
00:34:23,933 --> 00:34:26,502
♪ all you got to do
is just believe ♪

659
00:34:26,602 --> 00:34:29,205
♪ you can be
who you want to be ♪

660
00:34:29,305 --> 00:34:31,274
♪ sincerely ♪

661
00:34:31,375 --> 00:34:34,177
♪ miss you dearly ♪

662
00:34:34,277 --> 00:34:36,846
♪ sincerely, me ♪

663
00:34:37,613 --> 00:34:39,215
♪ sincerely, me ♪

664
00:34:39,983 --> 00:34:43,486
♪ sincerely, me ♪

665
00:34:43,586 --> 00:34:45,254
♪ sincerely, me. ♪

666
00:34:48,992 --> 00:34:51,661
I can't remember the last time
that I heard him laugh,

667
00:34:51,761 --> 00:34:53,696
but the two of them,
if you read these...

668
00:34:53,796 --> 00:34:55,598
I think if you could take
ten minutes

669
00:34:55,698 --> 00:34:57,500
and actually read
these emails...

670
00:34:57,600 --> 00:34:59,702
I'm looking at them right now.

671
00:35:01,938 --> 00:35:04,540
Zoe. Look what Evan sent us.

672
00:35:04,640 --> 00:35:07,076
They're emails
from your brother.

673
00:35:07,176 --> 00:35:08,312
I printed them out.

674
00:35:08,412 --> 00:35:10,580
Oh. Take that, trees.

675
00:35:10,680 --> 00:35:12,181
- How was school?
- Terrific.

676
00:35:12,281 --> 00:35:14,351
All of a sudden,
people I've never met

677
00:35:14,451 --> 00:35:15,818
want to be my best friend.

678
00:35:15,918 --> 00:35:18,654
I'm the dead kid's sister,
didn't you know?

679
00:35:19,456 --> 00:35:20,690
I'm sure they mean well.

680
00:35:20,790 --> 00:35:23,026
I'm sure they don't.

681
00:35:29,532 --> 00:35:31,368
She needs time.

682
00:35:32,201 --> 00:35:35,071
No, Larry,
she needs her parents.

683
00:35:35,171 --> 00:35:37,273
Enjoy the game.

684
00:35:44,614 --> 00:35:46,082
Can I come in?

685
00:35:49,185 --> 00:35:50,421
Oh.

686
00:35:50,521 --> 00:35:53,089
You don't have to stop playing.

687
00:35:54,090 --> 00:35:55,992
How was band?

688
00:35:58,495 --> 00:36:01,498
You know, he-he talks about
you playing guitar,

689
00:36:01,597 --> 00:36:05,402
in one of his emails, at
the spring concert last year.

690
00:36:05,502 --> 00:36:07,270
Really?

691
00:36:07,371 --> 00:36:08,371
Yeah.

692
00:36:08,405 --> 00:36:11,974
Does he, does he talk about

693
00:36:12,075 --> 00:36:14,243
when he disappeared
for two days?

694
00:36:14,344 --> 00:36:17,314
But then he called me and
asked me to come pick him up.

695
00:36:17,414 --> 00:36:18,681
He wanted to come home,

696
00:36:18,781 --> 00:36:20,293
but he wasn't ready
to talk to you yet,

697
00:36:20,317 --> 00:36:23,454
so I took the bus all the way
downtown to get him,

698
00:36:23,554 --> 00:36:26,155
and guess what.

699
00:36:28,958 --> 00:36:31,828
All he really wanted was money.

700
00:36:34,331 --> 00:36:38,734
And I gave it to him
because I was 12.

701
00:36:41,270 --> 00:36:43,272
He was struggling.

702
00:36:45,375 --> 00:36:47,810
How about the time he tried
to punch through my door,

703
00:36:47,910 --> 00:36:49,313
screaming at
the top of his lungs,

704
00:36:49,413 --> 00:36:52,416
saying he was gonna kill me
for no reason?

705
00:36:52,516 --> 00:36:54,784
Is that email in there?

706
00:36:56,219 --> 00:36:58,688
We're all grieving
in our own way.

707
00:37:05,462 --> 00:37:09,399
You might consider reading
these when you're ready.

708
00:37:10,700 --> 00:37:13,069
They might help
more than you think.

709
00:37:30,253 --> 00:37:33,490
♪ Why should I play
this game of pretend? ♪

710
00:37:34,657 --> 00:37:39,295
♪ Remembering through
a secondhand sorrow ♪

711
00:37:39,396 --> 00:37:43,299
♪ such a great son
and wonderful friend ♪

712
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:47,904
♪ oh, don't the tears
just pour ♪

713
00:37:48,771 --> 00:37:52,175
♪ I could curl up
and hide in my room ♪

714
00:37:53,276 --> 00:37:57,813
♪ here in my bed
still sobbing tomorrow ♪

715
00:37:57,914 --> 00:38:01,918
♪ I could give in
to all of the gloom ♪

716
00:38:02,018 --> 00:38:06,923
♪ but tell me,
tell me what for ♪

717
00:38:07,023 --> 00:38:09,992
♪ why should I have
a heavy heart? ♪

718
00:38:10,092 --> 00:38:12,962
♪ Why should I start
to break in pieces? ♪

719
00:38:13,062 --> 00:38:17,334
♪ Why should I go
and fall apart for you? ♪

720
00:38:19,135 --> 00:38:24,575
♪ Why should I play
the grieving girl ♪

721
00:38:24,675 --> 00:38:27,444
♪ and lie ♪

722
00:38:27,544 --> 00:38:32,382
♪ saying that I miss you
and that my world ♪

723
00:38:32,482 --> 00:38:37,954
♪ has gone dark
without your light? ♪

724
00:38:39,556 --> 00:38:42,792
♪ I will sing no requiem ♪

725
00:38:44,461 --> 00:38:45,696
♪ tonight ♪

726
00:38:53,570 --> 00:38:57,039
♪ We gave you the world,
you threw it away ♪

727
00:38:58,274 --> 00:39:02,745
♪ leaving these broken pieces
behind you ♪

728
00:39:02,845 --> 00:39:06,916
♪ everything wasted,
nothing to say ♪

729
00:39:07,016 --> 00:39:09,852
♪ so I can sing no requiem ♪

730
00:39:09,952 --> 00:39:14,257
♪ I hear your voice
and feel you near ♪

731
00:39:14,358 --> 00:39:19,128
♪ within these words
I finally find you ♪

732
00:39:19,228 --> 00:39:23,533
♪ and now that I know
that you are still here ♪

733
00:39:23,634 --> 00:39:26,769
♪ I will sing
no requiem tonight ♪

734
00:39:26,869 --> 00:39:29,573
♪ why should I have
a heavy heart? ♪

735
00:39:29,673 --> 00:39:32,476
♪ Why should I say
I'll keep you with me? ♪

736
00:39:32,576 --> 00:39:38,281
♪ Why should I go
and fall apart for you? ♪

737
00:39:38,382 --> 00:39:41,117
♪ Why ♪

738
00:39:41,217 --> 00:39:43,420
♪ should I play
the grieving girl ♪

739
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:46,523
♪ and lie ♪

740
00:39:46,623 --> 00:39:49,258
♪ saying that I miss you
and that ♪

741
00:39:49,359 --> 00:39:53,162
♪ my world has
gone dark without your light? ♪

742
00:39:53,262 --> 00:39:57,734
♪ I can see your light ♪

743
00:39:57,833 --> 00:40:01,338
♪ I will sing no requiem ♪

744
00:40:01,438 --> 00:40:03,205
♪ tonight ♪

745
00:40:03,307 --> 00:40:05,841
♪ 'cause when
the villains fall ♪

746
00:40:05,941 --> 00:40:08,545
♪ the kingdoms never weep ♪

747
00:40:08,645 --> 00:40:13,317
♪ no one lights a candle
to remember ♪

748
00:40:13,417 --> 00:40:16,520
♪ no, no one mourns at all ♪

749
00:40:16,620 --> 00:40:19,656
♪ when they lay them down to sleep ♪

750
00:40:19,756 --> 00:40:26,630
♪ so don't tell me
that I didn't have it right ♪

751
00:40:26,730 --> 00:40:31,635
♪ don't tell me that
it wasn't black and white ♪

752
00:40:31,735 --> 00:40:34,203
♪ after all you put me through ♪

753
00:40:34,303 --> 00:40:37,441
♪ don't say it wasn't true ♪

754
00:40:37,541 --> 00:40:41,243
♪ that you were not
the monster ♪

755
00:40:49,919 --> 00:40:52,154
♪ That I knew ♪

756
00:40:55,157 --> 00:40:58,260
♪ 'cause I ♪

757
00:40:58,362 --> 00:41:03,600
♪ cannot play
the grieving girl and lie ♪

758
00:41:03,700 --> 00:41:08,805
♪ saying that I miss you
and that my world ♪

759
00:41:08,904 --> 00:41:11,140
♪ has gone dark ♪

760
00:41:15,244 --> 00:41:19,148
♪ I will sing no requiem ♪

761
00:41:20,049 --> 00:41:23,919
♪ I will sing no requiem ♪

762
00:41:24,821 --> 00:41:28,023
♪ I will sing no requiem ♪

763
00:41:29,959 --> 00:41:31,428
♪ tonight ♪

764
00:41:31,528 --> 00:41:33,996
♪ oh, oh ♪

765
00:41:34,096 --> 00:41:36,265
♪ oh, oh ♪

766
00:41:36,366 --> 00:41:38,835
♪ oh, oh ♪

767
00:41:38,934 --> 00:41:44,006
♪ oh, oh. ♪

768
00:41:45,876 --> 00:41:47,854
<i>They did a whole thing
about them on npr yesterday,</i>

769
00:41:47,878 --> 00:41:49,111
these-these essay contests.

770
00:41:49,211 --> 00:41:50,514
And if you win,

771
00:41:50,614 --> 00:41:52,190
it doesn't count against
any financial aid.

772
00:41:52,214 --> 00:41:57,052
You know, so $5,000 here
or $3,000 there.

773
00:41:57,153 --> 00:41:59,255
It adds up, and we're gonna need

774
00:41:59,356 --> 00:42:01,491
all the help we can get
with college.

775
00:42:01,591 --> 00:42:04,861
I mean, unless your stepmother
has some trust fund for you

776
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:07,296
that I don't know about
with all those fabulous tips

777
00:42:07,397 --> 00:42:08,917
- she made cocktail waitressing.
- Huh.

778
00:42:08,964 --> 00:42:10,867
Right?

779
00:42:10,966 --> 00:42:12,469
Mm.

780
00:42:17,507 --> 00:42:18,708
I got a...

781
00:42:18,809 --> 00:42:21,578
I got an email
from your school yesterday,

782
00:42:21,678 --> 00:42:25,682
um, about that boy
that-that killed himself.

783
00:42:25,782 --> 00:42:26,949
Connor Murphy?

784
00:42:27,049 --> 00:42:28,718
Yeah.

785
00:42:28,819 --> 00:42:30,353
I didn't really know him, so...

786
00:42:30,454 --> 00:42:35,090
You know, if you ever
want to talk about anything...

787
00:42:35,191 --> 00:42:37,092
You know, I mean, I mean,
I know that lately

788
00:42:37,193 --> 00:42:38,571
it feels like
i'm-I'm always working.

789
00:42:38,595 --> 00:42:40,363
- It's fine.
- But i'm-i'm-I'm here,

790
00:42:40,464 --> 00:42:42,998
and if I... if I'm not here,
I'm just a phone call away

791
00:42:43,098 --> 00:42:44,738
or an email or a text,
you know, whatever.

792
00:42:44,835 --> 00:42:46,302
I know.

793
00:42:47,102 --> 00:42:49,940
It says "Connor" on your cast.

794
00:42:50,039 --> 00:42:52,107
Oh.

795
00:42:52,208 --> 00:42:53,610
No, no, yeah. Um...

796
00:42:53,710 --> 00:42:55,978
- You said you didn't know him.
- Sorry, I didn't.

797
00:42:56,078 --> 00:42:57,781
Um...

798
00:42:57,881 --> 00:43:00,550
It's in memory, so, like...

799
00:43:00,650 --> 00:43:02,853
Y-You know,
kids are, like, um...

800
00:43:02,953 --> 00:43:04,688
They're writing
his name on-on...

801
00:43:04,788 --> 00:43:07,657
Lockers and stuff like that.

802
00:43:07,757 --> 00:43:09,225
Oh.

803
00:43:10,961 --> 00:43:13,028
Um...

804
00:43:15,164 --> 00:43:18,267
That's lovely.
You know, in memory.

805
00:43:18,368 --> 00:43:19,769
Hmm.

806
00:43:22,506 --> 00:43:23,305
Hey.

807
00:43:23,406 --> 00:43:25,274
Tuesday. What are you doing?

808
00:43:26,376 --> 00:43:28,945
When's the last time
we did taco Tuesday?

809
00:43:29,044 --> 00:43:30,680
That'd be great.

810
00:43:30,780 --> 00:43:32,716
Really?

811
00:43:32,816 --> 00:43:34,216
Yeah.

812
00:43:34,317 --> 00:43:36,218
So the memorial's
really just an opportunity

813
00:43:36,319 --> 00:43:38,120
for all of us to come together
as a community

814
00:43:38,220 --> 00:43:41,625
and to remember Connor
and celebrate who he was.

815
00:43:42,592 --> 00:43:44,059
Would you want to speak
or perform?

816
00:43:44,159 --> 00:43:45,962
I didn't really know him.
I'm sorry.

817
00:43:46,061 --> 00:43:48,197
- That's okay.
- Bye.

818
00:44:00,310 --> 00:44:01,578
Want a wristband?

819
00:44:01,678 --> 00:44:03,980
Oh, yes. Yeah. Okay.

820
00:44:04,079 --> 00:44:05,448
Thank you.

821
00:44:08,250 --> 00:44:10,085
You were friends
with him, right?

822
00:44:11,421 --> 00:44:13,323
I saw him sign your cast
in the library,

823
00:44:13,423 --> 00:44:15,992
and you started arguing
about something.

824
00:44:16,860 --> 00:44:19,563
- Were you friends with him?
- We weren't close.

825
00:44:19,663 --> 00:44:22,365
We presented together o-on
huck Finn in the tenth grade,

826
00:44:22,465 --> 00:44:25,301
but he probably didn't
tell you that.

827
00:44:25,402 --> 00:44:27,169
Um, no, no, I didn't know.

828
00:44:27,269 --> 00:44:29,339
I always really liked him.

829
00:44:29,439 --> 00:44:31,041
It seemed like
he didn't really care

830
00:44:31,140 --> 00:44:33,009
what anyone else thought, and...

831
00:44:33,108 --> 00:44:34,911
I thought
that was pretty remarkable.

832
00:44:38,715 --> 00:44:41,116
Well, I'm putting together
a memorial for him

833
00:44:41,216 --> 00:44:43,285
at school on Friday.

834
00:44:43,386 --> 00:44:44,821
If you wanted to do something...

835
00:44:44,921 --> 00:44:47,256
Oh. Um...

836
00:44:47,357 --> 00:44:49,459
Sorry, i-i...

837
00:44:49,559 --> 00:44:53,128
I-I probably w-would
rather not, if that's okay.

838
00:44:53,228 --> 00:44:54,263
Yeah, sure.

839
00:44:54,364 --> 00:44:56,800
If you change your mind...

840
00:44:56,900 --> 00:44:58,068
Just text me.

841
00:45:02,038 --> 00:45:04,173
Okay.

842
00:45:10,814 --> 00:45:12,214
Mom.

843
00:45:50,387 --> 00:45:52,455
My mom realized
we were out of ice cream,

844
00:45:52,555 --> 00:45:54,624
so they went to go get more.

845
00:45:55,425 --> 00:45:57,327
Did you park in the driveway?

846
00:45:57,427 --> 00:45:59,763
'Cause if you park on the
street, they'll ticket you.

847
00:45:59,863 --> 00:46:01,731
The people in this neighborhood
are monsters.

848
00:46:01,831 --> 00:46:03,867
Um, no, I didn't,
I didn't, um...

849
00:46:03,967 --> 00:46:06,069
I took the bus.
My mom needed the car for work.

850
00:46:06,168 --> 00:46:08,138
- What about your dad?
- My dad.

851
00:46:08,237 --> 00:46:10,840
Um, he lives in Colorado, so...

852
00:46:10,940 --> 00:46:13,175
He left when I was seven.

853
00:46:15,712 --> 00:46:17,279
That sucks.

854
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:21,785
Mine died when I was one, so...

855
00:46:21,885 --> 00:46:23,086
I sort of win.

856
00:46:24,186 --> 00:46:26,122
- Sorry.
- Thanks.

857
00:46:26,221 --> 00:46:27,657
It's fine.

858
00:46:27,757 --> 00:46:30,894
I-I don't even really
remember him, to be honest.

859
00:46:30,994 --> 00:46:33,797
Connor did, though, a little.

860
00:46:33,897 --> 00:46:35,765
That's terrible.

861
00:46:35,865 --> 00:46:37,199
Yeah.

862
00:46:37,299 --> 00:46:41,203
And then Larry showed up,
fixed everything.

863
00:46:42,372 --> 00:46:44,541
For a while, at least.

864
00:46:44,641 --> 00:46:46,009
Yeah.

865
00:46:46,109 --> 00:46:48,745
Most people, with Connor,
they just would've been like,

866
00:46:48,845 --> 00:46:53,583
"see ya," but he's the only dad
we ever really knew, so...

867
00:46:54,918 --> 00:46:57,087
Wow, your mom...
I didn't, I didn't realize.

868
00:46:57,187 --> 00:46:58,555
Yeah, well.

869
00:46:58,655 --> 00:47:01,057
She's in total denial now.

870
00:47:01,157 --> 00:47:02,459
So is Larry.

871
00:47:02,559 --> 00:47:04,170
I mean, he didn't even cry
at the funeral.

872
00:47:04,194 --> 00:47:05,462
I'm sorry.

873
00:47:06,429 --> 00:47:08,998
Not as sorry as you're gonna be.

874
00:47:10,734 --> 00:47:12,702
- Oh, is-is that the...
- Mm-hmm.

875
00:47:12,802 --> 00:47:16,206
Gluten-free apple pie? You bet.

876
00:47:16,305 --> 00:47:17,874
It-it looks...

877
00:47:19,409 --> 00:47:21,177
Inedible?

878
00:47:21,276 --> 00:47:22,846
It is.

879
00:47:23,713 --> 00:47:26,616
Just be glad we get to have
real ice cream.

880
00:47:26,716 --> 00:47:28,618
My mom was Buddhist last year,

881
00:47:28,718 --> 00:47:30,420
so we couldn't have
any animal products.

882
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:32,889
She was b... um, Buddhist
last year but not this year?

883
00:47:32,989 --> 00:47:35,358
Yep.
That's sort of what she does.

884
00:47:35,458 --> 00:47:37,227
She gets into
a lot of different things.

885
00:47:37,327 --> 00:47:40,430
- Mm.
- For a while, it was pilates.

886
00:47:40,530 --> 00:47:42,297
<i>The secret.</i>

887
00:47:42,398 --> 00:47:44,200
Buddhism. Et cetera.

888
00:47:44,299 --> 00:47:46,612
It's cool that she's interested
in so much different stuff.

889
00:47:46,636 --> 00:47:47,871
Yeah, she's not, though.

890
00:47:47,971 --> 00:47:50,073
That's just what happens
when you're rich

891
00:47:50,173 --> 00:47:51,173
and you don't have a job.

892
00:47:51,241 --> 00:47:52,342
You get a little crazy.

893
00:47:52,442 --> 00:47:53,610
Well, my mom always says

894
00:47:53,710 --> 00:47:55,230
it's better to be rich
than poor, so...

895
00:47:55,311 --> 00:47:56,956
Yeah, well, your mom's
probably never been rich, then.

896
00:47:56,980 --> 00:47:58,848
Yeah, you've probably
never been poor.

897
00:48:00,917 --> 00:48:02,394
Oh, my god, I can't believe
I just said that.

898
00:48:02,418 --> 00:48:03,653
I'm so sorry.

899
00:48:03,753 --> 00:48:05,722
Wow. I didn't realize

900
00:48:05,822 --> 00:48:08,224
you were capable of saying
something that wasn't nice.

901
00:48:08,324 --> 00:48:09,859
I'm n... I'm not.
I'm really sorry.

902
00:48:09,959 --> 00:48:12,428
You really don't
have to keep saying that.

903
00:48:12,529 --> 00:48:14,430
Okay.

904
00:48:14,531 --> 00:48:16,599
You want to say it again.

905
00:48:16,699 --> 00:48:18,134
Yeah, very much so, I do.

906
00:48:25,141 --> 00:48:27,710
Why did he write that...

907
00:48:27,811 --> 00:48:29,012
In his note?

908
00:48:29,112 --> 00:48:31,047
"Because there's Zoe.

909
00:48:31,147 --> 00:48:34,818
And I don't even know her, but
if I could just talk to her..."

910
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:39,422
Honestly, I really don't know.

911
00:48:39,522 --> 00:48:42,125
What does any of that
even mean? I mean...

912
00:48:42,225 --> 00:48:44,360
We weren't close at all.

913
00:48:44,460 --> 00:48:46,729
Not since we were kids.

914
00:48:46,830 --> 00:48:48,832
He never noticed anything
about me.

915
00:48:48,932 --> 00:48:51,434
That's not true.
That's not true.

916
00:48:51,534 --> 00:48:53,803
He-he-he noticed
a lot of things about you.

917
00:48:53,903 --> 00:48:55,605
Like what things?

918
00:49:05,515 --> 00:49:06,783
Right.

919
00:49:06,883 --> 00:49:07,784
No, no, no.

920
00:49:07,884 --> 00:49:09,886
That's, um...

921
00:49:09,986 --> 00:49:11,054
Well...

922
00:49:11,154 --> 00:49:12,956
Okay, w... okay.

923
00:49:13,056 --> 00:49:15,091
Here's something. Um...

924
00:49:15,191 --> 00:49:18,828
Whenever you have, uh,
a solo in-in jazz band,

925
00:49:18,928 --> 00:49:21,030
you just... you close your e...

926
00:49:21,130 --> 00:49:22,675
You probably don't even know
you're doing this,

927
00:49:22,699 --> 00:49:25,101
but you close your eyes,
um, and you get, like...

928
00:49:25,201 --> 00:49:26,870
I don't know,
it's like a half smile,

929
00:49:26,970 --> 00:49:28,747
like you just heard the
funniest thing in the world,

930
00:49:28,771 --> 00:49:30,282
but it's a secret and
you can't tell anyone about it.

931
00:49:30,306 --> 00:49:31,841
But then...

932
00:49:31,941 --> 00:49:33,919
Uh, the way that you smile,
it's sort of like you are...

933
00:49:33,943 --> 00:49:36,679
You're letting us in
on the secret, too.

934
00:49:36,779 --> 00:49:38,514
Um...

935
00:49:38,615 --> 00:49:40,783
♪ He said ♪

936
00:49:40,884 --> 00:49:42,685
♪ there's nothing like
your smile ♪

937
00:49:42,785 --> 00:49:46,856
♪ sort of subtle
and perfect and real ♪

938
00:49:47,924 --> 00:49:52,962
♪ he said you never knew
how wonderful ♪

939
00:49:53,062 --> 00:49:57,100
♪ that smile
could make someone feel ♪

940
00:49:58,501 --> 00:50:02,305
♪ and he knew
whenever you get bored ♪

941
00:50:02,405 --> 00:50:07,210
♪ you scribble stars
on the cuffs of your jeans ♪

942
00:50:08,444 --> 00:50:12,849
♪ and he noticed that you still
fill out the quizzes ♪

943
00:50:12,949 --> 00:50:15,752
♪ that they put
in those teen magazines ♪

944
00:50:15,852 --> 00:50:17,720
I-I do that ironically.

945
00:50:17,820 --> 00:50:22,992
♪ But he kept it all
inside his head ♪

946
00:50:23,092 --> 00:50:27,730
♪ what he saw he left unsaid ♪

947
00:50:27,830 --> 00:50:30,533
♪ and though he wanted to ♪

948
00:50:30,633 --> 00:50:32,235
♪ he couldn't talk to you ♪

949
00:50:32,336 --> 00:50:35,738
♪ he couldn't find a way ♪

950
00:50:37,341 --> 00:50:41,844
♪ but he would always say ♪

951
00:50:41,945 --> 00:50:45,581
♪ if I could tell her ♪

952
00:50:45,682 --> 00:50:47,650
♪ tell her everything I see ♪

953
00:50:47,750 --> 00:50:50,421
♪ if I could tell her ♪

954
00:50:50,520 --> 00:50:53,623
♪ how she's everything to me ♪

955
00:50:53,723 --> 00:50:58,561
♪ but we're
a million worlds apart ♪

956
00:50:59,696 --> 00:51:03,833
♪ and I don't know
how I would even start ♪

957
00:51:03,933 --> 00:51:08,104
♪ if I could tell her ♪

958
00:51:08,905 --> 00:51:14,510
♪ if I could tell her ♪

959
00:51:15,778 --> 00:51:18,247
Did he say anything else?

960
00:51:18,349 --> 00:51:19,682
About you?

961
00:51:19,782 --> 00:51:21,260
N-Never mind.
I don't even care, all right?

962
00:51:21,284 --> 00:51:22,828
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
He said so many things.

963
00:51:22,852 --> 00:51:24,153
I'm trying to... I'm just...

964
00:51:24,253 --> 00:51:26,089
I'm trying to remember
the best ones, so...

965
00:51:26,189 --> 00:51:27,290
Um...

966
00:51:27,391 --> 00:51:31,227
♪ He thought
it looked pretty cool ♪

967
00:51:31,328 --> 00:51:34,831
♪ when you put indigo streaks
in your hair ♪

968
00:51:34,931 --> 00:51:37,000
No fucking way.

969
00:51:37,100 --> 00:51:40,803
♪ And he wondered
how you learned to dance ♪

970
00:51:40,903 --> 00:51:46,709
♪ like all the rest
of the world isn't there ♪

971
00:51:46,809 --> 00:51:51,748
♪ but he kept it all
inside his head ♪

972
00:51:51,848 --> 00:51:56,519
♪ what he saw he left unsaid ♪

973
00:51:56,619 --> 00:51:59,555
♪ if I could tell her ♪

974
00:51:59,655 --> 00:52:01,492
♪ tell her everything I see ♪

975
00:52:01,591 --> 00:52:04,027
♪ if I could tell her ♪

976
00:52:04,127 --> 00:52:06,397
♪ how she's everything to me ♪

977
00:52:06,497 --> 00:52:11,968
♪ but we're
a million worlds apart ♪

978
00:52:13,736 --> 00:52:17,740
♪ and I don't know
how I would even start ♪

979
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:22,111
♪ if I could tell her ♪

980
00:52:22,912 --> 00:52:25,114
♪ if I could tell her ♪

981
00:52:25,214 --> 00:52:30,387
♪ but what do you do when
there's this great divide? ♪

982
00:52:30,487 --> 00:52:35,091
♪ He just seemed so far away ♪

983
00:52:35,191 --> 00:52:39,295
♪ and what do you do when
the distance is too wide? ♪

984
00:52:39,396 --> 00:52:40,756
♪ It's like
I don't know anything ♪

985
00:52:40,797 --> 00:52:42,865
♪ how do you say ♪

986
00:52:42,965 --> 00:52:47,136
♪ I love you? ♪

987
00:52:47,904 --> 00:52:51,841
♪ I love you ♪

988
00:52:52,608 --> 00:52:57,314
♪ I love you ♪

989
00:52:58,315 --> 00:53:02,718
♪ I love you ♪

990
00:53:05,788 --> 00:53:13,162
♪ but we're
a million worlds apart ♪

991
00:53:14,931 --> 00:53:18,701
♪ and I don't know
how I would even start ♪

992
00:53:20,404 --> 00:53:26,275
♪ if I could tell her ♪

993
00:53:26,376 --> 00:53:30,780
♪ if I could. ♪

994
00:53:35,586 --> 00:53:37,787
Hello.

995
00:53:37,887 --> 00:53:39,722
- Oh, sorry.
- Uh...

996
00:53:39,822 --> 00:53:41,991
Oh, you beat us.

997
00:53:42,091 --> 00:53:43,659
Um, Zoe, can you help serve?

998
00:53:43,759 --> 00:53:45,294
- Yeah.
- Larry, get the plates.

999
00:53:45,395 --> 00:53:46,729
Can I do anything?

1000
00:53:46,829 --> 00:53:48,173
No, no, no.
You're the guest. You sit down.

1001
00:53:48,197 --> 00:53:50,266
We asked if they had
any soy ice cream,

1002
00:53:50,367 --> 00:53:54,605
but the guy at the store said
there was just no "whey," so...

1003
00:53:54,704 --> 00:53:56,144
When are you gonna
give up that joke?

1004
00:53:56,205 --> 00:53:57,907
I think never, actually.

1005
00:53:58,007 --> 00:53:59,352
You don't have to
laugh at that. Please don't.

1006
00:53:59,376 --> 00:54:00,611
Oh.

1007
00:54:00,710 --> 00:54:03,146
I'm sorry, but there's no way

1008
00:54:03,246 --> 00:54:05,616
you'd ever be able
to tell in a million years

1009
00:54:05,715 --> 00:54:06,883
that this was gluten-free.

1010
00:54:06,983 --> 00:54:08,784
Mom, come on. Look at it.

1011
00:54:08,885 --> 00:54:11,622
A million years is, uh...
That's a lot of years.

1012
00:54:11,721 --> 00:54:14,290
Do you see
what I have to deal with?

1013
00:54:15,359 --> 00:54:16,460
I'm glad you're here.

1014
00:54:44,954 --> 00:54:46,923
"The Connor project."

1015
00:54:47,023 --> 00:54:48,824
So, it's a student group
dedicated to

1016
00:54:48,925 --> 00:54:52,128
mental health awareness,
outreach and education.

1017
00:54:53,029 --> 00:54:55,432
Uh, great.
This is... it's great.

1018
00:54:57,166 --> 00:54:58,768
You know the Murphys, right?

1019
00:54:58,868 --> 00:55:01,003
- Mm-hmm.
- I was wondering if

1020
00:55:01,103 --> 00:55:02,948
you would reach out to them
and get their blessing.

1021
00:55:02,972 --> 00:55:05,908
Oh, well, I don't...
I-I don't, I don't, um...

1022
00:55:06,008 --> 00:55:07,678
You want to help the Murphys?

1023
00:55:07,777 --> 00:55:10,813
And all the other people
who might need it,

1024
00:55:10,913 --> 00:55:12,349
like people like Connor.

1025
00:55:12,449 --> 00:55:14,351
Or...

1026
00:55:14,451 --> 00:55:15,818
People like us.

1027
00:55:15,918 --> 00:55:18,020
"People like us"?

1028
00:55:19,656 --> 00:55:22,593
Yes, right, because
we have so much in common.

1029
00:55:22,693 --> 00:55:23,960
What?

1030
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:26,363
Well, you're, like,
the president

1031
00:55:26,463 --> 00:55:28,264
of a m-million different groups
at school,

1032
00:55:28,365 --> 00:55:30,467
and you're, like,
part of every single activity.

1033
00:55:30,567 --> 00:55:33,836
And you're, you know, and i'm...

1034
00:55:33,936 --> 00:55:35,972
Um, I am not.

1035
00:55:36,939 --> 00:55:38,508
What do you take?

1036
00:55:42,412 --> 00:55:44,615
Okay, I'll go first.

1037
00:55:44,715 --> 00:55:46,916
I'm on Lexapro, ten milligrams.

1038
00:55:49,151 --> 00:55:50,520
Oh.

1039
00:55:52,021 --> 00:55:55,525
Well, i'm-I'm on Zoloft.

1040
00:55:55,626 --> 00:55:57,361
Uh, and Wellbutrin.

1041
00:55:59,396 --> 00:56:01,230
And, um...

1042
00:56:01,331 --> 00:56:03,132
Ativan as needed.

1043
00:56:03,899 --> 00:56:07,036
Depression? Anxiety?

1044
00:56:08,372 --> 00:56:09,772
Yeah.

1045
00:56:10,540 --> 00:56:12,775
Yeah, me, too.

1046
00:56:14,611 --> 00:56:16,546
Some days, it's just like, um...

1047
00:56:17,913 --> 00:56:19,650
It's like, um...

1048
00:56:19,750 --> 00:56:20,750
Impossible?

1049
00:56:20,816 --> 00:56:23,353
- Yeah.
- Yeah.

1050
00:56:24,887 --> 00:56:27,557
You know, you don't
really act like a...

1051
00:56:28,725 --> 00:56:30,293
Depressed sort of person.

1052
00:56:30,394 --> 00:56:34,498
I'm just good
at staying anonymous.

1053
00:56:36,700 --> 00:56:38,100
Same as you.

1054
00:56:40,570 --> 00:56:43,873
There are a lot of people
who feel like us.

1055
00:56:45,975 --> 00:56:48,545
People that you wouldn't think.

1056
00:56:52,081 --> 00:56:53,983
♪ You ever look
at all the people ♪

1057
00:56:54,083 --> 00:56:58,020
♪ who seem to know
exactly how to be? ♪

1058
00:57:00,791 --> 00:57:04,695
♪ You think, "they don't need
piles of prescriptions ♪"

1059
00:57:04,795 --> 00:57:06,463
♪ to function naturally" ♪

1060
00:57:08,598 --> 00:57:11,834
♪ well, look again
and you might catch it ♪

1061
00:57:11,934 --> 00:57:14,303
♪ just stay a minute more ♪

1062
00:57:15,572 --> 00:57:19,909
♪ there's this little moment
after the sunny smile ♪

1063
00:57:20,009 --> 00:57:24,280
♪ as their eyes fall
to the floor ♪

1064
00:57:24,381 --> 00:57:27,484
♪ the anonymous ones ♪

1065
00:57:27,584 --> 00:57:33,022
♪ who never let you see
the ache they carry ♪

1066
00:57:33,956 --> 00:57:37,159
♪ all of those anonymous ones ♪

1067
00:57:37,259 --> 00:57:42,164
♪ who never name
that quiet pain they Bury ♪

1068
00:57:43,400 --> 00:57:46,202
♪ so they keep on
keeping secrets ♪

1069
00:57:46,302 --> 00:57:49,004
♪ that they think
they have to hide ♪

1070
00:57:49,105 --> 00:57:51,006
♪ but what if
everybody's secret ♪

1071
00:57:51,107 --> 00:57:53,275
♪ is they have
that secret side? ♪

1072
00:57:53,377 --> 00:57:57,514
♪ And to know
they're somehow not alone ♪

1073
00:57:57,614 --> 00:58:01,016
♪ well, that's all
they're hoping for ♪

1074
00:58:01,117 --> 00:58:03,620
♪ what if they ♪

1075
00:58:03,720 --> 00:58:06,556
♪ didn't have to stay ♪

1076
00:58:07,691 --> 00:58:09,626
♪ anonymous anymore? ♪

1077
00:58:16,666 --> 00:58:20,337
♪ Spot the girl
who stays in motion ♪

1078
00:58:20,437 --> 00:58:23,640
♪ she spins so fast
so she won't fall ♪

1079
00:58:23,740 --> 00:58:26,843
♪ she's built a wall
with her achievements ♪

1080
00:58:26,942 --> 00:58:28,645
♪ to keep out the question ♪

1081
00:58:28,745 --> 00:58:33,149
♪ without it, is she worth
anything at all? ♪

1082
00:58:33,249 --> 00:58:36,952
♪ So nobody can know ♪

1083
00:58:37,788 --> 00:58:42,091
♪ just what the cracks
might show ♪

1084
00:58:42,191 --> 00:58:48,365
♪ how deep and dark they go ♪

1085
00:58:48,465 --> 00:58:51,535
♪ there are
those anonymous ones ♪

1086
00:58:51,635 --> 00:58:55,971
♪ stuck inside the
perfect frame they're faking ♪

1087
00:58:57,374 --> 00:59:00,276
♪ all of us anonymous ones ♪

1088
00:59:00,377 --> 00:59:05,415
♪ who pick themselves apart
till they start breaking ♪

1089
00:59:06,383 --> 00:59:08,885
♪ and we keep on
keeping secrets ♪

1090
00:59:08,984 --> 00:59:11,053
♪ that we think
we have to hide ♪

1091
00:59:11,153 --> 00:59:13,457
♪ but what we really need
is somebody ♪

1092
00:59:13,557 --> 00:59:15,525
♪ to see that secret side ♪

1093
00:59:15,625 --> 00:59:19,195
♪ and to know
we're somehow not alone ♪

1094
00:59:19,295 --> 00:59:22,097
♪ is all we're hoping for ♪

1095
00:59:22,198 --> 00:59:26,302
♪ and then
we wouldn't have to be ♪

1096
00:59:26,403 --> 00:59:28,505
♪ anonymous anymore ♪

1097
00:59:34,744 --> 00:59:36,847
♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

1098
00:59:36,947 --> 00:59:39,483
♪ but that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

1099
00:59:39,583 --> 00:59:41,818
♪ the parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

1100
00:59:41,918 --> 00:59:44,421
♪ but that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

1101
00:59:44,521 --> 00:59:47,256
♪ the anonymous one ♪

1102
00:59:47,357 --> 00:59:50,025
♪ noticed by none ♪

1103
00:59:51,862 --> 00:59:53,530
Go, bobcats!

1104
00:59:53,630 --> 00:59:57,266
♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

1105
00:59:57,367 --> 01:00:00,871
♪ but that doesn't mean
they're not heavy. ♪

1106
01:00:20,289 --> 01:00:21,725
"The Connor project"?

1107
01:00:21,825 --> 01:00:23,192
Yeah, so it's a student group

1108
01:00:23,292 --> 01:00:26,329
dedicated to
keeping Connor's memory alive.

1109
01:00:26,429 --> 01:00:28,798
Um, making sure
people that need help,

1110
01:00:28,899 --> 01:00:30,333
they have somewhere they can go.

1111
01:00:30,433 --> 01:00:33,670
I didn't realize Connor meant
this much to people.

1112
01:00:33,770 --> 01:00:35,939
Well, it's all... I mean,
it was all Alana's idea.

1113
01:00:36,038 --> 01:00:37,182
She thought of the whole thing.

1114
01:00:37,206 --> 01:00:38,475
That's the young woman

1115
01:00:38,575 --> 01:00:40,777
who organized
the memorial tomorrow.

1116
01:00:40,877 --> 01:00:43,212
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, she seems like...

1117
01:00:43,313 --> 01:00:45,147
- Quite a force.
- Yeah.

1118
01:00:45,247 --> 01:00:47,450
Um, anyways, um...

1119
01:00:47,551 --> 01:00:49,319
We just wanted to do something.

1120
01:00:49,419 --> 01:00:52,422
It's-it's r-really cool.

1121
01:00:56,793 --> 01:00:59,094
There's something
I want to show you.

1122
01:00:59,896 --> 01:01:01,163
Sure.

1123
01:01:03,198 --> 01:01:05,267
Oh, here we go.

1124
01:01:06,536 --> 01:01:08,638
It's a bit of a mess, I know.

1125
01:01:08,738 --> 01:01:13,777
We still haven't decided what
to do with, um, everything.

1126
01:01:16,111 --> 01:01:19,482
Oh, um...
He used to write songs.

1127
01:01:19,583 --> 01:01:21,183
Or at least he told us he did.

1128
01:01:21,283 --> 01:01:23,520
He refused to play for us,
so who knows?

1129
01:01:24,854 --> 01:01:27,824
He never played any for you?

1130
01:01:28,825 --> 01:01:30,327
No, he di... he didn't.

1131
01:01:30,427 --> 01:01:32,662
He... no. I'm sorry.

1132
01:01:35,732 --> 01:01:36,833
Um...

1133
01:01:47,344 --> 01:01:49,278
Here it is.

1134
01:01:50,814 --> 01:01:53,083
It's a...

1135
01:01:53,182 --> 01:01:56,151
When Connor entered
seventh grade,

1136
01:01:56,251 --> 01:01:58,488
all of my girlfriends said,

1137
01:01:58,588 --> 01:02:00,457
"here it comes,
bar mitzvah season.

1138
01:02:00,557 --> 01:02:04,427
He's gonna have a different
party every Saturday."

1139
01:02:04,527 --> 01:02:06,563
And Larry was so excited
to take him shopping.

1140
01:02:06,663 --> 01:02:08,365
He dragged him
to Brooks brothers,

1141
01:02:08,465 --> 01:02:11,568
and they picked out a suit,
some shirts and this tie.

1142
01:02:11,668 --> 01:02:16,339
He looked... just like his dad.

1143
01:02:21,411 --> 01:02:24,179
He never got invited
to a single party.

1144
01:02:29,352 --> 01:02:33,188
He was such a sweet boy
underneath it all.

1145
01:02:34,658 --> 01:02:37,827
Everything just hurt too much.

1146
01:02:40,664 --> 01:02:44,266
I thought that, uh, you could
wear this to the memorial.

1147
01:02:44,367 --> 01:02:46,235
For your speech.

1148
01:02:48,071 --> 01:02:50,707
Oh, I'm not... i-i...

1149
01:02:50,807 --> 01:02:52,876
I wasn't...
I'm-I'm not speaking.

1150
01:02:52,976 --> 01:02:54,411
Why not?

1151
01:02:54,511 --> 01:02:58,247
Well, I...
I just don't think, um...

1152
01:03:00,249 --> 01:03:02,485
I mean, most people
think that i'm...

1153
01:03:03,353 --> 01:03:04,621
Not that cool of a person,

1154
01:03:04,721 --> 01:03:07,691
so nobody wants to hear from me.

1155
01:03:10,259 --> 01:03:12,495
Well, if...

1156
01:03:12,595 --> 01:03:15,799
That's what most people think...

1157
01:03:16,766 --> 01:03:19,335
It sounds like most people
don't know you very well.

1158
01:03:21,438 --> 01:03:23,406
They didn't know Connor either.

1159
01:03:24,441 --> 01:03:26,710
They never bothered.

1160
01:03:26,810 --> 01:03:28,378
Hmm.

1161
01:03:30,847 --> 01:03:33,282
You can tell them
what they missed.

1162
01:03:40,523 --> 01:03:42,492
You're so handsome.

1163
01:04:18,828 --> 01:04:22,264
I'm so glad
you changed your mind.

1164
01:04:32,575 --> 01:04:37,180
Today is a day of remembrance
and reflection.

1165
01:04:37,279 --> 01:04:39,048
It sucks he isn't here
to see this.

1166
01:04:39,149 --> 01:04:41,283
The first person
we'll hear from this morning

1167
01:04:41,384 --> 01:04:43,686
is Evan Hansen.

1168
01:05:01,303 --> 01:05:03,540
Uh, good morning, s...

1169
01:05:03,640 --> 01:05:06,309
Holy shit.

1170
01:05:08,378 --> 01:05:09,913
Sorry.

1171
01:05:10,013 --> 01:05:11,748
Sorry.

1172
01:05:13,917 --> 01:05:17,187
Good morning,
students and faculty.

1173
01:05:17,287 --> 01:05:20,757
I would like to say
a few words to you today...

1174
01:05:22,659 --> 01:05:24,460
About my friend...

1175
01:05:25,829 --> 01:05:29,265
My
best friend, Connor Murphy.

1176
01:05:29,365 --> 01:05:30,466
Holy shit.

1177
01:05:32,101 --> 01:05:34,046
I would like to tell you
about the day that Connor and I

1178
01:05:34,070 --> 01:05:37,574
went hiking behind the old
Autumn smile apple orchard.

1179
01:05:37,674 --> 01:05:40,109
We found a huge oak tree.

1180
01:05:40,210 --> 01:05:42,321
Connor said that he wondered
what the world would look like

1181
01:05:42,345 --> 01:05:46,583
from all the way up there,
so we decided to find out.

1182
01:05:49,552 --> 01:05:51,754
We started climbing slowly.

1183
01:05:51,855 --> 01:05:53,723
And then,
when I finally looked back,

1184
01:05:53,823 --> 01:05:55,658
we were already
30 feet off the ground.

1185
01:05:55,758 --> 01:05:57,994
Um, Connor just looked at me...

1186
01:05:59,662 --> 01:06:02,165
And smiled
that way he always did.

1187
01:06:02,265 --> 01:06:04,567
Um, and then...

1188
01:06:13,509 --> 01:06:15,078
Um...

1189
01:06:16,179 --> 01:06:17,513
Sorry. Then I fell.

1190
01:06:17,614 --> 01:06:19,682
I-I lay there
on the ground and...

1191
01:06:19,782 --> 01:06:23,219
Good morning,
students and f-f... faculty.

1192
01:06:25,421 --> 01:06:27,624
Sorry, that...

1193
01:06:27,724 --> 01:06:29,125
Sorry, that's the wrong...

1194
01:07:26,950 --> 01:07:31,721
♪ Have you ever felt like
nobody was there? ♪

1195
01:07:33,623 --> 01:07:40,096
♪ Have you ever felt forgotten
in the middle of nowhere? ♪

1196
01:07:41,064 --> 01:07:45,101
♪ Have you ever felt like
you could disappear? ♪

1197
01:07:46,836 --> 01:07:48,738
♪ Like you could fall ♪

1198
01:07:49,806 --> 01:07:52,108
♪ and no one would hear ♪

1199
01:07:54,610 --> 01:07:57,914
But, see, the thing is, when
I looked up, Connor was there.

1200
01:08:00,016 --> 01:08:02,218
That's the gift he gave me.

1201
01:08:03,019 --> 01:08:05,054
To show me
th-that I wasn't alone.

1202
01:08:05,154 --> 01:08:06,323
Um, nobody is.

1203
01:08:06,423 --> 01:08:09,592
That's-that's the gift
that he gave all of us.

1204
01:08:09,692 --> 01:08:11,928
I just wish...

1205
01:08:13,696 --> 01:08:15,631
I wish we could've
given that to him.

1206
01:08:18,435 --> 01:08:19,669
So...

1207
01:08:19,769 --> 01:08:24,140
♪ Let that lonely feeling
wash away ♪

1208
01:08:25,476 --> 01:08:31,214
♪ maybe there's a reason
to believe you'll be okay ♪

1209
01:08:31,315 --> 01:08:36,753
♪ 'cause when you don't feel
strong enough to stand ♪

1210
01:08:36,853 --> 01:08:42,759
♪ you can reach,
reach out your hand ♪

1211
01:08:43,860 --> 01:08:49,198
♪ and, oh,
someone will come running ♪

1212
01:08:49,298 --> 01:08:55,204
♪ and I know
they'll take you home ♪

1213
01:08:57,840 --> 01:09:00,943
♪ even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

1214
01:09:01,044 --> 01:09:04,180
♪ when you need a friend
to carry you ♪

1215
01:09:04,280 --> 01:09:08,385
♪ and when you're broken
on the ground ♪

1216
01:09:08,485 --> 01:09:10,920
♪ you will be found ♪

1217
01:09:11,020 --> 01:09:13,457
♪ so let the sun
come streaming in ♪

1218
01:09:13,556 --> 01:09:16,893
♪ 'cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

1219
01:09:16,993 --> 01:09:19,929
♪ lift your head
and look around ♪

1220
01:09:20,930 --> 01:09:25,868
♪ you will be found ♪

1221
01:09:26,636 --> 01:09:31,174
♪ you will be found ♪

1222
01:09:31,941 --> 01:09:36,712
♪ you will be found ♪

1223
01:09:37,481 --> 01:09:42,218
♪ you will be found ♪

1224
01:09:42,985 --> 01:09:45,288
♪ you will be found ♪

1225
01:09:56,032 --> 01:09:57,633
Have you seen this?

1226
01:09:57,733 --> 01:09:59,068
<i>People started sharing it,</i>

1227
01:09:59,168 --> 01:10:00,903
and now, I mean,
it's everywhere.

1228
01:10:01,003 --> 01:10:02,705
This morning, it only had,
like, 30 views.

1229
01:10:02,805 --> 01:10:04,408
Well, how many does it have now?

1230
01:10:04,508 --> 01:10:06,609
723.

1231
01:10:06,709 --> 01:10:09,679
2,326 views.

1232
01:10:09,779 --> 01:10:12,148
14,359.

1233
01:10:12,248 --> 01:10:15,319
I don't understand
what happened.

1234
01:10:15,419 --> 01:10:16,986
You did.

1235
01:10:18,654 --> 01:10:22,291
♪ There's a place where
we don't have to feel unknown ♪

1236
01:10:22,392 --> 01:10:23,427
Oh, my god.

1237
01:10:23,527 --> 01:10:24,827
Everybody needs to see this.

1238
01:10:24,927 --> 01:10:26,829
♪ And every time
that you call out ♪

1239
01:10:26,929 --> 01:10:28,865
♪ you're a little less alone ♪

1240
01:10:28,965 --> 01:10:30,876
- I can't stop watching this video.
- 17 years old.

1241
01:10:30,900 --> 01:10:32,969
♪ If you only say the word ♪

1242
01:10:33,069 --> 01:10:34,713
- Take five minutes.
- It'll make your day.

1243
01:10:34,737 --> 01:10:40,511
♪ From across the silence,
your voice is heard ♪

1244
01:10:40,611 --> 01:10:41,777
♪ oh ♪

1245
01:10:41,878 --> 01:10:43,212
Share it
with the people you love.

1246
01:10:43,313 --> 01:10:45,482
- Repost.
- The world needs to hear this.

1247
01:10:45,582 --> 01:10:46,983
Beautiful tribute.

1248
01:10:47,083 --> 01:10:49,123
I know someone who really
needed to hear this today.

1249
01:10:49,185 --> 01:10:51,821
So thank you, Evan Hansen,
for doing what you're doing.

1250
01:10:51,921 --> 01:10:54,824
I never met you, Connor,
but coming on here,

1251
01:10:54,924 --> 01:10:56,125
reading everyone's posts...

1252
01:10:56,225 --> 01:10:58,161
Evan is exactly right.
We are not alone.

1253
01:10:58,261 --> 01:10:59,596
We are not alone.

1254
01:10:59,695 --> 01:11:00,763
None of us.

1255
01:11:00,863 --> 01:11:01,898
None of us are alone.

1256
01:11:01,998 --> 01:11:03,567
- Like. - Forward.
- Especially now,

1257
01:11:03,699 --> 01:11:05,043
with everything you hear
on the news.

1258
01:11:05,067 --> 01:11:06,507
- Like. - Share.
- Repost. - Forward.

1259
01:11:06,603 --> 01:11:07,904
Thank you, Evan Hansen,

1260
01:11:08,004 --> 01:11:09,482
for giving us a space
to remember Connor.

1261
01:11:09,506 --> 01:11:11,073
- Thanks to Evan.
- To be together.

1262
01:11:11,174 --> 01:11:12,041
- Thanks for helping my mom.
- Thank you for helping my mom.

1263
01:11:12,141 --> 01:11:13,443
Thank you, Evan Hansen.

1264
01:11:13,544 --> 01:11:14,786
- ♪ To take you home... ♪
- Vermont. - Tampa.

1265
01:11:14,810 --> 01:11:16,078
- Sacramento.
- Michigan.

1266
01:11:16,179 --> 01:11:17,323
- ♪ Someone will come... ♪
- Just reach out.

1267
01:11:17,347 --> 01:11:18,415
Thank you, Evan.

1268
01:11:18,515 --> 01:11:19,825
This is about community
and friendship.

1269
01:11:19,849 --> 01:11:21,049
- Thank you, Evan.
- Thank you.

1270
01:11:21,851 --> 01:11:23,252
Thank you, Evan Hansen.

1271
01:11:23,353 --> 01:11:26,456
♪ Even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

1272
01:11:26,557 --> 01:11:29,825
♪ when you need a friend
to carry you ♪

1273
01:11:29,926 --> 01:11:32,862
♪ when you're broken
on the ground ♪

1274
01:11:32,962 --> 01:11:35,097
♪ you will be found ♪

1275
01:11:35,198 --> 01:11:37,401
♪ so let the sun
come streaming in ♪

1276
01:11:37,501 --> 01:11:40,803
♪ 'cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

1277
01:11:40,903 --> 01:11:43,873
♪ if you only look around ♪

1278
01:11:43,973 --> 01:11:49,413
♪ you will be found,
you will be found ♪

1279
01:11:49,513 --> 01:11:50,947
♪ you will be found ♪

1280
01:11:51,047 --> 01:11:56,152
♪ you will be found,
you will be found ♪

1281
01:11:56,252 --> 01:12:01,057
♪ out of the shadows,
the morning is breaking ♪

1282
01:12:01,157 --> 01:12:04,528
♪ and all is new ♪

1283
01:12:04,628 --> 01:12:07,230
♪ all is new ♪

1284
01:12:07,331 --> 01:12:10,400
♪ it's filling up the empty ♪

1285
01:12:10,500 --> 01:12:12,902
♪ and suddenly I see ♪

1286
01:12:13,002 --> 01:12:14,937
♪ that all is new ♪

1287
01:12:15,037 --> 01:12:18,074
♪ all is new ♪

1288
01:12:18,174 --> 01:12:22,912
♪ you are not alone,
you are not alone ♪

1289
01:12:23,012 --> 01:12:26,115
♪ you are not alone ♪

1290
01:12:26,215 --> 01:12:30,454
♪ you are not alone,
you are not alone ♪

1291
01:12:30,554 --> 01:12:32,623
- ♪ you are not alone ♪
- ♪ you are not alone ♪

1292
01:12:32,723 --> 01:12:33,889
♪ you are not alone ♪

1293
01:12:33,990 --> 01:12:35,592
♪ you are not ♪

1294
01:12:35,692 --> 01:12:40,062
- ♪ you are not alone ♪
- ♪ you are not alone ♪

1295
01:12:40,162 --> 01:12:42,865
♪ even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

1296
01:12:42,965 --> 01:12:45,968
♪ when you need someone
to carry you ♪

1297
01:12:46,068 --> 01:12:48,871
♪ when you're broken
on the ground ♪

1298
01:12:48,971 --> 01:12:51,173
♪ you will be found ♪

1299
01:12:51,274 --> 01:12:53,543
♪ so let the sun
come streaming in ♪

1300
01:12:53,644 --> 01:12:56,812
♪ 'cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

1301
01:12:56,912 --> 01:13:00,016
♪ if you only look around ♪

1302
01:13:00,116 --> 01:13:02,184
♪ you will be found ♪

1303
01:13:02,285 --> 01:13:05,988
♪ even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

1304
01:13:06,088 --> 01:13:07,491
♪ you will be found ♪

1305
01:13:07,591 --> 01:13:10,627
♪ when you need someone
to carry you ♪

1306
01:13:10,727 --> 01:13:15,432
♪ you will be found ♪

1307
01:13:16,198 --> 01:13:20,303
♪ you will be found. ♪

1308
01:13:29,546 --> 01:13:30,813
Hey.

1309
01:13:30,913 --> 01:13:32,848
What's wrong?

1310
01:13:34,950 --> 01:13:37,521
Everything you said
in your speech.

1311
01:13:37,621 --> 01:13:40,089
Everything you've done.

1312
01:13:40,189 --> 01:13:42,858
You don't know how much...

1313
01:13:42,958 --> 01:13:45,762
You've given all of us.

1314
01:13:45,861 --> 01:13:47,196
My family.

1315
01:13:47,296 --> 01:13:48,831
Me.

1316
01:13:48,931 --> 01:13:50,567
No.

1317
01:13:50,667 --> 01:13:52,168
No, I...

1318
01:13:52,268 --> 01:13:55,304
You've given me my brother back.

1319
01:14:43,820 --> 01:14:45,988
<i>Welcome to the first
official meeting</i>

1320
01:14:46,088 --> 01:14:47,791
<i>of the Connor project.</i>

1321
01:14:52,061 --> 01:14:53,597
Right?

1322
01:14:54,331 --> 01:14:58,167
Um, now, as you all know
from Evan's speech,

1323
01:14:58,267 --> 01:15:00,871
uh, Connor's favorite place
in the entire world

1324
01:15:00,970 --> 01:15:02,873
was the Autumn smile
apple orchard.

1325
01:15:02,972 --> 01:15:05,542
I am beyond excited
to announce that,

1326
01:15:05,642 --> 01:15:07,910
in addition to our support
groups, we will be launching

1327
01:15:08,010 --> 01:15:13,182
a kickstarter campaign to raise
$100,000 to reopen and redesign

1328
01:15:13,282 --> 01:15:16,453
Autumn smile as the
Connor Murphy memorial orchard.

1329
01:15:18,921 --> 01:15:22,793
Um, so to explain what we're
going to be asking of you,

1330
01:15:22,893 --> 01:15:24,193
I'm gonna turn things over

1331
01:15:24,293 --> 01:15:27,531
to our director
of global communications.

1332
01:15:27,631 --> 01:15:29,231
Thanks, Alana.

1333
01:15:29,332 --> 01:15:30,600
So great.

1334
01:15:30,700 --> 01:15:32,935
Our new website is now live.

1335
01:15:33,035 --> 01:15:34,871
If you have not yet read

1336
01:15:34,970 --> 01:15:37,774
the emails
between Evan and Connor...

1337
01:15:37,874 --> 01:15:41,010
Oh, you're gonna want
to grab some tissues.

1338
01:15:44,414 --> 01:15:48,785
I swear, I've got
a Cal ripken here somewhere.

1339
01:15:48,885 --> 01:15:51,187
Look at that, hmm?

1340
01:15:51,987 --> 01:15:54,023
The entire '96 team.

1341
01:15:54,123 --> 01:15:55,501
There's three hall of famers
on there.

1342
01:15:55,525 --> 01:15:57,092
- Wow.
- You get the right people,

1343
01:15:57,193 --> 01:15:59,496
baseball fans,
uh, you could raise

1344
01:15:59,596 --> 01:16:01,898
at least a few hundred bucks
for the orchard,

1345
01:16:01,997 --> 01:16:03,533
maybe a couple thousand.

1346
01:16:03,633 --> 01:16:05,335
Yeah, but...

1347
01:16:05,435 --> 01:16:08,805
I mean, you should, you should
probably keep all this stuff.

1348
01:16:08,905 --> 01:16:12,141
Oh, uh, it's just gonna
sit here gathering dust.

1349
01:16:15,044 --> 01:16:17,046
Uh, stiff as a board, isn't it?

1350
01:16:17,146 --> 01:16:18,981
Yeah.

1351
01:16:19,081 --> 01:16:20,350
Well, it's never been used.

1352
01:16:20,450 --> 01:16:21,751
Connor...

1353
01:16:22,919 --> 01:16:24,921
He loved baseball.

1354
01:16:25,020 --> 01:16:27,256
When he was little.

1355
01:16:27,357 --> 01:16:29,392
First time I met him, uh...

1356
01:16:29,493 --> 01:16:31,671
Cynthia wasn't sure how the
kids would react, all right?

1357
01:16:31,695 --> 01:16:32,863
She was terrified.

1358
01:16:32,963 --> 01:16:35,799
And I was terrified.

1359
01:16:35,899 --> 01:16:37,801
I mean...

1360
01:16:37,901 --> 01:16:39,636
Five minutes in...

1361
01:16:41,404 --> 01:16:45,408
Connor's,
like, pulling my arm, uh...

1362
01:16:46,343 --> 01:16:48,778
"Come on, let's go play catch."

1363
01:16:50,413 --> 01:16:52,147
He...

1364
01:16:55,685 --> 01:16:58,254
I bought that... I don't know...
Two years ago.

1365
01:16:58,355 --> 01:17:01,658
I thought, you know,
maybe we could...

1366
01:17:08,264 --> 01:17:09,432
So stupid.

1367
01:17:09,533 --> 01:17:13,370
He was really lucky
to have a step...

1368
01:17:15,438 --> 01:17:17,541
To have a dad like you.

1369
01:17:19,275 --> 01:17:23,112
Your dad must feel
pretty lucky to...

1370
01:17:24,146 --> 01:17:26,115
Have a son like you.

1371
01:17:28,852 --> 01:17:30,720
Yeah, he does.

1372
01:18:06,423 --> 01:18:09,426
You know, I-I saw
the strangest thing

1373
01:18:09,526 --> 01:18:11,695
- on-on Facebook yesterday.
- Really?

1374
01:18:11,795 --> 01:18:16,700
Um, somebody had a video
of you doing a speech.

1375
01:18:17,500 --> 01:18:21,871
About that boy, Connor Murphy.

1376
01:18:21,972 --> 01:18:25,809
How the two of you
climbed a tree together

1377
01:18:25,909 --> 01:18:27,677
at an orchard.

1378
01:18:29,244 --> 01:18:31,781
You told me that you didn't
know him, but in the speech,

1379
01:18:31,881 --> 01:18:33,850
you said that
he was your best friend.

1380
01:18:33,950 --> 01:18:35,250
Right, well...

1381
01:18:36,251 --> 01:18:37,821
'Cause that wasn't true.

1382
01:18:37,921 --> 01:18:39,322
Um...

1383
01:18:42,124 --> 01:18:43,727
When I said I didn't know him.

1384
01:18:43,827 --> 01:18:45,260
Mm.

1385
01:18:45,362 --> 01:18:48,798
I thought that
you broke your arm at-at work.

1386
01:18:48,898 --> 01:18:51,300
Okay, well, who do you think
drove me to urgent care

1387
01:18:51,401 --> 01:18:53,003
and-and waited there with me?

1388
01:18:53,103 --> 01:18:54,704
You were at work. You remember?

1389
01:18:54,804 --> 01:18:56,281
I couldn't even... you didn't,
you didn't answer your phone.

1390
01:18:56,305 --> 01:18:57,974
You-you told me
that your boss took you.

1391
01:18:58,074 --> 01:18:59,476
Well, so I lied, obviously.

1392
01:18:59,576 --> 01:19:01,978
So when were you planning
on telling me any of this?

1393
01:19:02,078 --> 01:19:03,990
When would I tell you exactly?
When are you even here?

1394
01:19:04,014 --> 01:19:06,483
- I'm here now.
- Okay.

1395
01:19:07,550 --> 01:19:10,553
You know, I-I-I talked
to Dr. Sherman, and he told me

1396
01:19:10,654 --> 01:19:12,230
- you've been skipping appointments.
- I missed one.

1397
01:19:12,254 --> 01:19:14,424
You know those aren't free.

1398
01:19:19,796 --> 01:19:21,931
Sorry. I'm sorry.

1399
01:19:22,932 --> 01:19:25,200
I'm...

1400
01:19:26,736 --> 01:19:29,706
I'm so happy
you had a friend, sweetheart.

1401
01:19:31,107 --> 01:19:32,842
I'm sorry he's gone.

1402
01:19:32,942 --> 01:19:34,844
I just wish I'd known.

1403
01:19:38,648 --> 01:19:40,884
That speech you gave, it...

1404
01:19:43,353 --> 01:19:45,755
I don't even know what to say.
I'm...

1405
01:19:47,090 --> 01:19:48,958
I'm proud of you.

1406
01:19:51,895 --> 01:19:53,163
Thanks.

1407
01:20:08,778 --> 01:20:09,813
Hi.

1408
01:20:11,481 --> 01:20:13,383
This is a cool surprise.

1409
01:20:15,385 --> 01:20:17,219
Um...

1410
01:20:17,320 --> 01:20:19,322
Can I get you anything or...?

1411
01:20:19,422 --> 01:20:21,157
Just water.

1412
01:20:21,958 --> 01:20:24,728
- Just water? You're sure?
- Yeah. That's perfect.

1413
01:20:25,729 --> 01:20:26,796
Coming up.

1414
01:20:31,233 --> 01:20:32,335
Where's your mom?

1415
01:20:32,435 --> 01:20:35,205
She works late on Fridays.

1416
01:20:35,304 --> 01:20:37,440
Oh. I wanted to meet her.

1417
01:20:37,540 --> 01:20:40,310
Yeah, that would've been great.

1418
01:20:43,847 --> 01:20:45,014
What's this?

1419
01:20:45,115 --> 01:20:46,716
Oh, it's just my mom is obsessed

1420
01:20:46,816 --> 01:20:48,818
with these college scholarship
essay contests.

1421
01:20:48,918 --> 01:20:51,238
I mean, i'd-i'd-I'd have to win
probably, like, all of them

1422
01:20:51,286 --> 01:20:55,290
to actually pay
for college, so...

1423
01:20:56,626 --> 01:20:58,828
Your parents,
they-they can't...?

1424
01:20:58,928 --> 01:21:00,897
Uh, not really.

1425
01:21:02,297 --> 01:21:03,700
I'm sorry.

1426
01:21:12,375 --> 01:21:14,677
Is your room upstairs?

1427
01:21:19,149 --> 01:21:20,917
Yeah. It's, um...

1428
01:21:23,386 --> 01:21:24,788
Yeah.

1429
01:21:32,061 --> 01:21:34,864
Yeah, so it's, like, a pretty
standard sort of room, I guess.

1430
01:21:34,964 --> 01:21:36,199
So...

1431
01:21:36,298 --> 01:21:37,934
Hey. Oh, um...

1432
01:21:38,034 --> 01:21:39,803
Actually, I meant
to tell you this before.

1433
01:21:39,903 --> 01:21:42,705
Um, so Alana and I
had a really good...

1434
01:21:43,840 --> 01:21:46,509
Um, we had a really good
meeting this morning,

1435
01:21:46,609 --> 01:21:48,611
and I think that...
Y-You probably noticed,

1436
01:21:48,711 --> 01:21:51,281
um, that, uh, you know,
a lot of people were giving,

1437
01:21:51,381 --> 01:21:54,083
uh, during that first week,
which is definitely great,

1438
01:21:54,184 --> 01:21:56,653
but, um, it sort of slowed down
a bit, obviously.

1439
01:21:56,753 --> 01:21:58,030
But Alana and I
are really confident

1440
01:21:58,054 --> 01:21:59,489
that it's gonna
pick right back up.

1441
01:21:59,589 --> 01:22:01,991
I think it's just a m...
A matter of...

1442
01:22:02,792 --> 01:22:05,461
Can I talk to you
about something?

1443
01:22:08,965 --> 01:22:10,533
Yes.

1444
01:22:14,604 --> 01:22:16,372
Uh...

1445
01:22:16,472 --> 01:22:18,775
The Connor project is...
Awesome.

1446
01:22:18,875 --> 01:22:21,878
It's-it's really, really cool.

1447
01:22:21,978 --> 01:22:23,179
Oh.

1448
01:22:24,113 --> 01:22:26,583
- Thank you.
- It's just that, my whole life,

1449
01:22:26,683 --> 01:22:28,284
everything has been about him.

1450
01:22:28,384 --> 01:22:31,988
And maybe the two of us...

1451
01:22:33,156 --> 01:22:35,959
Maybe we don't have to talk
about my brother all the time.

1452
01:22:36,059 --> 01:22:38,228
Maybe we can...

1453
01:22:38,329 --> 01:22:41,831
Talk about other things.

1454
01:22:49,906 --> 01:22:51,207
I like you.

1455
01:22:53,476 --> 01:22:57,380
And it's not because you were
friends with my brother

1456
01:22:57,480 --> 01:22:59,382
or because of
the Connor project.

1457
01:23:02,252 --> 01:23:04,721
I like you 'cause...

1458
01:23:04,821 --> 01:23:06,723
You.

1459
01:23:06,823 --> 01:23:11,427
♪ I don't need you to sell me
on reasons to want you ♪

1460
01:23:13,496 --> 01:23:17,967
♪ I don't need you to search
for the proof that I should ♪

1461
01:23:20,570 --> 01:23:24,040
♪ you don't
have to convince me ♪

1462
01:23:24,140 --> 01:23:27,977
♪ you don't have to be scared
you're not enough ♪

1463
01:23:28,077 --> 01:23:30,980
♪ 'cause what we've got going ♪

1464
01:23:31,080 --> 01:23:33,449
♪ is good ♪

1465
01:23:34,250 --> 01:23:38,922
♪ I don't need more reminders
of all that's been broken ♪

1466
01:23:41,057 --> 01:23:46,062
♪ I don't need you to fix
what I'd rather forget ♪

1467
01:23:47,630 --> 01:23:51,200
♪ clear the slate
and start over ♪

1468
01:23:51,301 --> 01:23:55,872
♪ try to quiet
the noises in your head ♪

1469
01:23:55,972 --> 01:23:59,208
♪ we can't compete
with all that ♪

1470
01:24:01,678 --> 01:24:03,746
♪ so what if it's us? ♪

1471
01:24:03,846 --> 01:24:08,419
♪ What if it's us and only us ♪

1472
01:24:08,518 --> 01:24:13,656
♪ and what came before won't
count anymore or matter? ♪

1473
01:24:13,756 --> 01:24:15,858
♪ Can we try that? ♪

1474
01:24:15,959 --> 01:24:19,162
♪ What if it's you,
what if it's me ♪

1475
01:24:19,262 --> 01:24:23,132
♪ and what if that's all
that we need it to be ♪

1476
01:24:23,232 --> 01:24:26,903
♪ and the rest of the world
falls away? ♪

1477
01:24:27,837 --> 01:24:28,972
♪ What do you say? ♪

1478
01:24:29,072 --> 01:24:30,807
♪ I never thought there'd be ♪

1479
01:24:30,907 --> 01:24:33,943
♪ someone like you
who would want me ♪

1480
01:24:34,043 --> 01:24:35,043
Well...

1481
01:24:35,111 --> 01:24:38,415
♪ So I give you 10,000 reasons ♪

1482
01:24:38,514 --> 01:24:40,750
♪ to not let me go ♪

1483
01:24:42,852 --> 01:24:46,889
♪ but if you really see me ♪

1484
01:24:46,990 --> 01:24:51,160
♪ if you like me for me
and nothing else ♪

1485
01:24:51,260 --> 01:24:53,029
♪ well, that's all
that I've wanted ♪

1486
01:24:53,129 --> 01:24:57,401
♪ for longer than
you could possibly know ♪

1487
01:24:57,500 --> 01:24:59,403
♪ so it can be us ♪

1488
01:24:59,535 --> 01:25:04,207
♪ it can be us and only us ♪

1489
01:25:04,307 --> 01:25:09,480
♪ and what came before
won't count anymore or matter ♪

1490
01:25:09,579 --> 01:25:11,247
♪ we can try that ♪

1491
01:25:11,348 --> 01:25:15,051
♪ it's not so impossible ♪

1492
01:25:15,151 --> 01:25:17,920
♪ nobody else
but the two of us here ♪

1493
01:25:18,021 --> 01:25:21,891
♪ 'cause you're saying
it's possible ♪

1494
01:25:21,991 --> 01:25:25,396
♪ we can just watch
the whole world disappear ♪

1495
01:25:25,496 --> 01:25:30,700
♪ till you're the only one ♪

1496
01:25:30,800 --> 01:25:37,740
♪ I still know how to see ♪

1497
01:25:40,877 --> 01:25:42,578
♪ it's just you and me ♪

1498
01:25:42,678 --> 01:25:44,914
♪ it'll be us ♪

1499
01:25:45,014 --> 01:25:49,919
♪ it'll be us and only us ♪

1500
01:25:50,019 --> 01:25:54,690
♪ and what came before
won't count anymore ♪

1501
01:25:54,791 --> 01:25:57,394
♪ we can try that ♪

1502
01:25:57,494 --> 01:26:00,897
♪ you and me ♪

1503
01:26:00,997 --> 01:26:04,133
♪ that's all that
we need it to be ♪

1504
01:26:04,233 --> 01:26:07,770
♪ and the rest of the world
falls away ♪

1505
01:26:07,870 --> 01:26:14,077
♪ and the rest
of the world falls away ♪

1506
01:26:15,878 --> 01:26:18,781
♪ the world falls away ♪

1507
01:26:19,715 --> 01:26:22,919
♪ the world falls away ♪

1508
01:26:28,758 --> 01:26:30,993
♪ The world falls away ♪

1509
01:26:32,061 --> 01:26:35,064
♪ the world falls away ♪

1510
01:26:35,865 --> 01:26:38,868
♪ the world falls away ♪

1511
01:26:39,802 --> 01:26:42,905
♪ the world falls away ♪

1512
01:26:50,481 --> 01:26:51,814
♪ The world falls away ♪

1513
01:26:51,914 --> 01:26:53,916
All right,
let's just start without him.

1514
01:26:54,016 --> 01:26:57,687
♪ The world falls away ♪

1515
01:26:57,787 --> 01:27:03,860
♪ and it's only us. ♪

1516
01:27:20,042 --> 01:27:20,743
No.

1517
01:27:20,843 --> 01:27:22,044
I'm famous for doing that.

1518
01:27:22,145 --> 01:27:23,385
I've been told that many times.

1519
01:27:23,447 --> 01:27:24,348
Mm-hmm.

1520
01:27:24,448 --> 01:27:25,349
Hi, honey.

1521
01:27:25,449 --> 01:27:26,716
Come join us.

1522
01:27:26,816 --> 01:27:29,218
- I just put dinner in the oven.
- Hi.

1523
01:27:31,355 --> 01:27:32,865
She made me swear
to keep it a surprise.

1524
01:27:32,889 --> 01:27:34,290
I'm surprised.

1525
01:27:34,391 --> 01:27:35,526
Hi.

1526
01:27:35,626 --> 01:27:37,226
It's so nice
to finally meet you.

1527
01:27:37,327 --> 01:27:38,694
- Oh, hi.
- Hi.

1528
01:27:38,794 --> 01:27:40,430
Yeah, uh, great.

1529
01:27:40,531 --> 01:27:42,432
It's great.

1530
01:27:42,533 --> 01:27:44,167
Come on, Evan. Sit.

1531
01:27:45,968 --> 01:27:47,904
I-I thought that you were
working tonight.

1532
01:27:48,004 --> 01:27:50,072
Cynthia called
and invited me for dinner,

1533
01:27:50,173 --> 01:27:51,974
so, you know, I'm playing hooky.

1534
01:27:52,074 --> 01:27:54,234
We were just discussing
how sneaky you and Connor were.

1535
01:27:54,277 --> 01:27:56,879
I had no idea that he
and Connor were even friends.

1536
01:27:56,979 --> 01:27:58,281
Oh, we were the same.

1537
01:27:58,382 --> 01:27:59,916
You know,
boys love their secrets.

1538
01:28:00,016 --> 01:28:01,918
Something smells good.
What's for dinner?

1539
01:28:02,018 --> 01:28:03,786
Oh, it's chicken milanese,
your favorite.

1540
01:28:03,886 --> 01:28:05,755
Oh, actually his favorite is

1541
01:28:05,855 --> 01:28:07,256
my great-grandmother's
black beans.

1542
01:28:07,357 --> 01:28:08,224
Really?

1543
01:28:08,325 --> 01:28:09,692
Well, he's the only one

1544
01:28:09,792 --> 01:28:11,003
that appreciates
my cooking, so...

1545
01:28:11,027 --> 01:28:12,563
- That's not true.
- Uh, another drop?

1546
01:28:12,663 --> 01:28:14,665
Oh, no, no. I'm-I'm fine.
Thank you.

1547
01:28:14,764 --> 01:28:17,033
Oh, um, fascinating story
about the wine.

1548
01:28:17,133 --> 01:28:19,603
It's from a vineyard in napa,

1549
01:28:19,735 --> 01:28:22,872
and the entire growing process
from start to finish,

1550
01:28:22,972 --> 01:28:24,807
100% sustainable.

1551
01:28:24,907 --> 01:28:26,175
Is that right?

1552
01:28:26,275 --> 01:28:28,744
Not to mention,
it tastes good, too.

1553
01:28:28,844 --> 01:28:29,946
- Mm-hmm. It does.
- Mm.

1554
01:28:30,046 --> 01:28:32,248
You know,
I-I didn't realize, uh...

1555
01:28:32,349 --> 01:28:33,749
Cynthia and Larry
were telling me

1556
01:28:33,849 --> 01:28:35,284
that you spend
so much time here.

1557
01:28:35,385 --> 01:28:37,119
Yeah, I... you've been
working a lot, so...

1558
01:28:37,220 --> 01:28:39,356
Why did I think
you were at Jared's?

1559
01:28:39,456 --> 01:28:40,756
I-I don't know.

1560
01:28:40,856 --> 01:28:42,124
Evan was showing me

1561
01:28:42,225 --> 01:28:45,529
all of those scholarship
contests that you found.

1562
01:28:45,629 --> 01:28:46,663
It's really impressive.

1563
01:28:46,762 --> 01:28:49,499
Well, Evan is a great writer.

1564
01:28:49,600 --> 01:28:51,000
Well, that does not

1565
01:28:51,100 --> 01:28:52,636
surprise me at all.

1566
01:28:53,437 --> 01:28:55,938
His English teacher last year
told me that he wrote

1567
01:28:56,038 --> 01:28:58,508
one of the best papers
she'd ever read on <i>sulu.</i>

1568
01:28:58,609 --> 01:28:59,609
Is that right?

1569
01:28:59,676 --> 01:29:01,877
- It's <i>sula.</i>
- What?

1570
01:29:01,978 --> 01:29:03,279
You said "sulu." It's <i>sula.</i>

1571
01:29:03,380 --> 01:29:05,549
Yeah, I believe sulu's

1572
01:29:05,649 --> 01:29:07,484
a character on <i>Star Trek.</i>

1573
01:29:10,987 --> 01:29:12,489
My mistake.

1574
01:29:14,056 --> 01:29:17,427
So, speaking of scholarships...

1575
01:29:18,395 --> 01:29:19,496
Oh, right, uh...

1576
01:29:19,596 --> 01:29:21,931
Yeah, well, I guess...

1577
01:29:22,031 --> 01:29:25,435
Now's as good a time as any.

1578
01:29:25,535 --> 01:29:27,604
Uh...

1579
01:29:27,704 --> 01:29:30,072
Cynthia, do you want to...?

1580
01:29:30,172 --> 01:29:30,873
Hmm.

1581
01:29:30,973 --> 01:29:32,743
Well, um...

1582
01:29:32,842 --> 01:29:36,446
Zoe happened to mention that
Evan was having some difficulty

1583
01:29:36,546 --> 01:29:40,283
in terms of the
financial burden of college.

1584
01:29:40,384 --> 01:29:43,819
And Larry and I
started thinking,

1585
01:29:43,919 --> 01:29:45,489
and we've been fortunate enough

1586
01:29:45,589 --> 01:29:48,157
to set some money aside
for Connor.

1587
01:29:51,595 --> 01:29:53,095
Um, I'm good.

1588
01:29:53,195 --> 01:29:54,731
- I'm okay.
- Yeah.

1589
01:29:54,830 --> 01:29:57,300
Heidi, with your blessing,
we would like to give Evan

1590
01:29:57,401 --> 01:29:59,101
the money that we set aside
for our son

1591
01:29:59,201 --> 01:30:03,340
so he can fulfill his dreams.

1592
01:30:08,878 --> 01:30:11,415
Thank you so much...

1593
01:30:11,515 --> 01:30:13,015
But we're gonna be fine.

1594
01:30:13,115 --> 01:30:15,552
I don't have a lot of money,
but I-I do have some.

1595
01:30:15,652 --> 01:30:17,053
Oh.

1596
01:30:17,153 --> 01:30:18,698
No, no, no, no, no.
I didn't mean to intimate...

1597
01:30:18,722 --> 01:30:21,223
No, no, I understand,
but, um, we do have money,

1598
01:30:21,325 --> 01:30:24,894
so I'm sorry you were under
the impression that we didn't.

1599
01:30:24,994 --> 01:30:27,096
And whatever money
we don't have,

1600
01:30:27,196 --> 01:30:30,099
Evan will either
make up for with a job

1601
01:30:30,199 --> 01:30:31,635
or he'll get a scholarship.

1602
01:30:31,735 --> 01:30:34,771
I don't want my son
to get the idea that it's okay

1603
01:30:34,870 --> 01:30:36,230
to rely on other people
for favors.

1604
01:30:36,305 --> 01:30:38,140
- Well, it's not a favor.
- No.

1605
01:30:38,240 --> 01:30:40,377
But as his mother,
I need to set that example.

1606
01:30:40,477 --> 01:30:42,612
You can't expect things
from strangers.

1607
01:30:42,713 --> 01:30:44,581
Oh, we're not strangers.

1608
01:30:44,681 --> 01:30:47,083
No, of course not.

1609
01:30:47,883 --> 01:30:49,985
But you're not family either.

1610
01:30:57,461 --> 01:30:58,861
Mom, just hold on.

1611
01:30:58,961 --> 01:31:00,530
No, I think
I better get to work,

1612
01:31:00,630 --> 01:31:02,366
see if I can grab a shift
now that I know

1613
01:31:02,466 --> 01:31:04,401
how concerned you are
about our finances.

1614
01:31:04,501 --> 01:31:05,981
Mom, will you please
come back inside?

1615
01:31:06,035 --> 01:31:07,970
Oh, my god. Are you kidding me?

1616
01:31:08,070 --> 01:31:10,172
Will you just
come back inside, please?

1617
01:31:10,272 --> 01:31:12,409
They think you're their son,
these people.

1618
01:31:13,242 --> 01:31:14,320
They're not "these people."

1619
01:31:14,344 --> 01:31:15,812
They don't really know you.

1620
01:31:15,911 --> 01:31:17,647
Well, they like me.
They like me.

1621
01:31:17,748 --> 01:31:19,625
I know that that's very hard
for you to believe,

1622
01:31:19,649 --> 01:31:20,950
that they don't think i'm...

1623
01:31:21,050 --> 01:31:22,395
You know, that there's
something wrong with me,

1624
01:31:22,419 --> 01:31:23,962
that I need to be,
like, fixed, like you do.

1625
01:31:23,986 --> 01:31:25,666
- When have I ever said that?
- Oh, my god.

1626
01:31:25,722 --> 01:31:27,165
Mom, I-I have to go
to therapy, right?

1627
01:31:27,189 --> 01:31:28,468
I have to take drugs.
I have to...

1628
01:31:28,492 --> 01:31:30,126
There's-there's nothing
wrong with that.

1629
01:31:30,226 --> 01:31:31,437
There-there's nothing wrong
with needing help, honey.

1630
01:31:31,461 --> 01:31:32,701
Just stop. I know that there is,

1631
01:31:32,729 --> 01:31:34,096
and I know that I'm a burden,

1632
01:31:34,196 --> 01:31:35,575
that I'm the worst thing
that ever happened to you,

1633
01:31:35,599 --> 01:31:36,809
and I just... well, I just
ruined your life, okay?!

1634
01:31:36,833 --> 01:31:39,569
No. You are the best thing.

1635
01:31:39,669 --> 01:31:42,238
You're the best thing
that's ever happened to me.

1636
01:31:43,440 --> 01:31:45,609
I'm sorry I can't give you
anything more than that.

1637
01:31:46,976 --> 01:31:49,278
It's not my fault
if other people can.

1638
01:31:56,353 --> 01:31:57,487
I'll see you at home.

1639
01:32:08,931 --> 01:32:10,333
Hi.

1640
01:32:10,434 --> 01:32:12,077
I'm so sorry.
I meant to be there yesterday.

1641
01:32:12,101 --> 01:32:15,639
Okay, well, we have two days
left, and we're $25,000 short.

1642
01:32:15,739 --> 01:32:17,641
Yeah, I just... everything...

1643
01:32:17,741 --> 01:32:19,141
You're right. I know. I'm sorry.

1644
01:32:19,241 --> 01:32:21,110
Things have been
really busy, so...

1645
01:32:23,179 --> 01:32:24,748
I've been wondering something.

1646
01:32:24,848 --> 01:32:26,650
Mm-hmm?

1647
01:32:27,451 --> 01:32:29,453
Were you ever actually
friends with him?

1648
01:32:31,086 --> 01:32:32,522
What are you talking about?

1649
01:32:32,622 --> 01:32:35,224
Well, the thing about
the emails, it's just that,

1650
01:32:35,325 --> 01:32:37,193
like, you and Connor
keep talking about

1651
01:32:37,293 --> 01:32:38,961
climbing this tree together
in June.

1652
01:32:39,061 --> 01:32:40,061
Mm-hmm?

1653
01:32:40,129 --> 01:32:42,499
We were in school in June.

1654
01:32:43,299 --> 01:32:45,635
You didn't have a cast
until September.

1655
01:32:45,735 --> 01:32:47,303
Well, uh, you know what?

1656
01:32:47,404 --> 01:32:49,247
We probably just wrote down
the wrong date or something.

1657
01:32:49,271 --> 01:32:52,609
It's not just the emails, Evan.

1658
01:32:52,709 --> 01:32:55,177
You've missed, like,
three meetings in a row.

1659
01:32:55,277 --> 01:32:57,112
If I were his best friend,

1660
01:32:57,213 --> 01:32:58,825
I would be doing
everything I could to make sure

1661
01:32:58,849 --> 01:33:00,650
his dream of rebuilding
the orchard came true.

1662
01:33:00,750 --> 01:33:02,251
Okay.

1663
01:33:02,352 --> 01:33:04,112
Look, it's terrible
that people aren't giving

1664
01:33:04,153 --> 01:33:05,655
as much money
as we hoped they would.

1665
01:33:05,755 --> 01:33:08,157
It is, but-but it's not like
it's him.

1666
01:33:08,257 --> 01:33:09,459
You know what I mean?

1667
01:33:09,559 --> 01:33:11,695
It's-it's just...
It's an orchard, Alana.

1668
01:33:15,532 --> 01:33:18,735
We have people watching us,

1669
01:33:18,835 --> 01:33:20,804
hoping...

1670
01:33:20,904 --> 01:33:24,073
Praying that we can
prove Connor wrong.

1671
01:33:24,173 --> 01:33:27,310
And if the orchard is
just an empty promise,

1672
01:33:27,410 --> 01:33:30,647
all of those people will know
that Connor was right.

1673
01:33:32,181 --> 01:33:33,750
That no one cares.

1674
01:33:36,586 --> 01:33:38,788
Did you lie to me?

1675
01:33:43,025 --> 01:33:45,294
Did I lie to all these people?

1676
01:33:51,835 --> 01:33:53,703
Just go to your email.

1677
01:33:53,803 --> 01:33:55,005
Another email?

1678
01:33:55,104 --> 01:33:57,072
It's not...

1679
01:33:57,172 --> 01:33:59,409
It's not another email.

1680
01:34:07,149 --> 01:34:09,452
"Dear Evan Hansen..."

1681
01:34:11,220 --> 01:34:13,456
If we weren't friends,
then he wouldn't...

1682
01:34:15,257 --> 01:34:17,827
He wouldn't have written
his note to me.

1683
01:34:20,664 --> 01:34:23,466
Look, only his family
have seen this, okay?

1684
01:34:23,567 --> 01:34:27,470
You can't, you can't show it
to anybody else, okay?

1685
01:34:27,571 --> 01:34:29,439
Alana.

1686
01:34:29,539 --> 01:34:30,774
Okay.

1687
01:34:40,317 --> 01:34:42,251
He wasn't right.

1688
01:34:43,353 --> 01:34:45,355
You know that, don't you?

1689
01:35:05,075 --> 01:35:07,711
♪ The parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

1690
01:35:07,811 --> 01:35:10,447
♪ but that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

1691
01:35:10,547 --> 01:35:13,316
♪ the parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

1692
01:35:13,416 --> 01:35:15,885
♪ but that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

1693
01:35:15,986 --> 01:35:18,755
♪ the anonymous one ♪

1694
01:35:18,855 --> 01:35:20,857
♪ noticed by none ♪

1695
01:35:20,957 --> 01:35:23,493
♪ the parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

1696
01:35:23,593 --> 01:35:27,129
♪ but that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

1697
01:35:30,367 --> 01:35:33,168
♪ the parts we can't tell ♪

1698
01:35:33,268 --> 01:35:35,572
♪ we carry them well ♪

1699
01:35:35,672 --> 01:35:40,209
♪ but that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

1700
01:35:40,310 --> 01:35:42,545
♪ the parts we can't tell ♪

1701
01:35:42,646 --> 01:35:44,714
♪ we carry them well ♪

1702
01:35:44,814 --> 01:35:51,688
♪ but that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

1703
01:36:02,264 --> 01:36:05,035
♪ The anonymous ones ♪

1704
01:36:05,135 --> 01:36:09,539
♪ who might just need
this moment to remind them ♪

1705
01:36:11,341 --> 01:36:14,878
♪ that there are
more anonymous ones ♪

1706
01:36:14,978 --> 01:36:19,649
♪ they're out there if you take
the time to find them ♪

1707
01:36:27,090 --> 01:36:32,696
♪ Just to know
we're somehow not alone ♪

1708
01:36:32,796 --> 01:36:39,569
♪ isn't that all we're ever
really looking for? ♪

1709
01:37:02,092 --> 01:37:04,694
♪ Maybe we ♪

1710
01:37:04,794 --> 01:37:07,630
♪ we don't have to be ♪

1711
01:37:11,000 --> 01:37:13,503
♪ anonymous anymore. ♪

1712
01:37:49,072 --> 01:37:50,907
Can you imagine?

1713
01:38:08,825 --> 01:38:10,660
Wh-what's wrong?

1714
01:38:16,199 --> 01:38:18,101
Yep.

1715
01:38:51,734 --> 01:38:52,769
Hi.

1716
01:38:52,869 --> 01:38:54,637
Alana, you have to
take it down, okay?

1717
01:38:54,737 --> 01:38:56,139
They've been through enough.

1718
01:38:56,239 --> 01:38:58,250
I took it down already, Evan,
but it-it doesn't matter

1719
01:38:58,274 --> 01:38:59,676
because it's everywhere.

1720
01:39:07,617 --> 01:39:08,651
Zoe, it's me.

1721
01:39:08,751 --> 01:39:10,053
Please call me back, okay?

1722
01:39:10,153 --> 01:39:11,621
I'm worried about you.

1723
01:39:11,721 --> 01:39:13,423
They have pictures of us now.

1724
01:39:13,523 --> 01:39:14,757
Just put it away.

1725
01:39:14,858 --> 01:39:16,726
"His parents act like
they are bereft,

1726
01:39:16,826 --> 01:39:19,495
but where were they when
their son was actually alive?"

1727
01:39:19,596 --> 01:39:21,831
Please stop reading them.

1728
01:39:24,000 --> 01:39:26,369
- Hey. Is Zoe here?
- She went home.

1729
01:39:42,585 --> 01:39:43,796
Things really aren't good here.

1730
01:39:43,820 --> 01:39:46,289
I know. I just... I had to come.

1731
01:39:47,223 --> 01:39:49,343
Where did they even...
How did they get Connor's note?

1732
01:39:49,392 --> 01:39:50,693
I don't know.

1733
01:39:50,793 --> 01:39:52,295
Like, did they hack
our computers?

1734
01:39:52,395 --> 01:39:54,341
They hacked our emails?
Did... these people are adults.

1735
01:39:54,365 --> 01:39:55,732
Did you see their pictures?

1736
01:39:55,832 --> 01:39:56,933
These people are adults.

1737
01:39:57,033 --> 01:39:58,635
Look, maybe let it ring.

1738
01:39:58,735 --> 01:40:00,904
I'm sick of hiding. Hello?

1739
01:40:01,004 --> 01:40:02,581
Yeah, have-have fun
with your miserable life.

1740
01:40:02,605 --> 01:40:04,341
What did they say?
What's the number?

1741
01:40:04,440 --> 01:40:05,608
It's blocked.

1742
01:40:05,708 --> 01:40:07,108
It doesn't...
No, it doesn't matter.

1743
01:40:07,143 --> 01:40:08,845
That's it.
I'm calling the police.

1744
01:40:08,945 --> 01:40:10,155
No, look, right now,
maybe the best thing to do

1745
01:40:10,179 --> 01:40:11,781
is to just stay calm, all right?

1746
01:40:11,881 --> 01:40:13,692
- And sit...
- That's always your solution, isn't it?

1747
01:40:13,716 --> 01:40:15,027
Wait and see. Let's just
wait and see, right, Larry?

1748
01:40:15,051 --> 01:40:16,331
What are the police going to do?

1749
01:40:16,387 --> 01:40:17,553
It's the Internet. Wh...

1750
01:40:17,654 --> 01:40:19,055
Are they gonna
arrest the Internet?

1751
01:40:19,155 --> 01:40:20,432
I had to beg you,
every step of the way,

1752
01:40:20,456 --> 01:40:21,500
for-for therapy, for-for rehab.

1753
01:40:21,524 --> 01:40:23,026
What? N-No, no.

1754
01:40:23,126 --> 01:40:24,937
You went lurching from
one miracle cure to the next...

1755
01:40:24,961 --> 01:40:26,629
Oh, you're... really?

1756
01:40:26,729 --> 01:40:28,598
Because all he needed
was another $20,000

1757
01:40:28,698 --> 01:40:29,698
weekend yoga retreat.

1758
01:40:29,766 --> 01:40:31,067
What was your alternative,

1759
01:40:31,167 --> 01:40:32,711
other than picking apart
everything that I did?

1760
01:40:32,735 --> 01:40:34,704
How about putting him on

1761
01:40:34,804 --> 01:40:36,472
one program and sticking to it?

1762
01:40:36,572 --> 01:40:38,207
Remember what he said

1763
01:40:38,308 --> 01:40:40,276
the first time that Connor
tried to kill himself?

1764
01:40:40,377 --> 01:40:42,021
- That he's just looking for attention.
- For Christ's sake.

1765
01:40:42,045 --> 01:40:43,646
He just wants attention!

1766
01:40:43,746 --> 01:40:45,416
I'm not gonna sit here
and defend myself!

1767
01:40:45,515 --> 01:40:46,783
You couldn't understand him.

1768
01:40:46,883 --> 01:40:50,053
You never understood him
because he wasn't yours!

1769
01:40:50,153 --> 01:40:51,988
Mom, what the hell?

1770
01:40:52,088 --> 01:40:53,933
I raised him from the time
he was three years old.

1771
01:40:53,957 --> 01:40:55,634
He was getting better, and you
refused to see it. Ask Evan.

1772
01:40:55,658 --> 01:40:57,527
Tell them, Evan.

1773
01:40:57,627 --> 01:40:59,162
Evan did everything
that he could.

1774
01:40:59,262 --> 01:41:02,098
Evan? Evan was in denial
of what was happening.

1775
01:41:02,198 --> 01:41:03,933
Do not bring him into this.

1776
01:41:04,033 --> 01:41:05,301
Read the note, Larry.

1777
01:41:05,402 --> 01:41:06,803
Read what he said.

1778
01:41:06,903 --> 01:41:09,038
<i>"I just wish that everything
was different."</i>

1779
01:41:09,138 --> 01:41:10,773
<i>I tried.</i>

1780
01:41:10,873 --> 01:41:12,484
- But he was my son!
- He wanted to be better! - Please.

1781
01:41:12,508 --> 01:41:13,609
I-I tried everything!

1782
01:41:13,710 --> 01:41:15,144
Stop it! Just please stop!

1783
01:41:15,244 --> 01:41:17,680
- Please stop fighting!
- He was trying to be better!

1784
01:41:17,780 --> 01:41:18,681
He was trying!

1785
01:41:18,781 --> 01:41:20,317
And he was failing.

1786
01:41:20,417 --> 01:41:22,719
We failed him.

1787
01:41:23,553 --> 01:41:25,088
No, you didn't. No, you didn't.

1788
01:41:25,188 --> 01:41:26,489
You didn't fail him.

1789
01:41:28,459 --> 01:41:29,859
Read the note.

1790
01:41:31,527 --> 01:41:33,262
He didn't write it.

1791
01:41:39,102 --> 01:41:40,136
I wrote it.

1792
01:41:40,236 --> 01:41:43,940
You didn't write
Connor's suicide note.

1793
01:41:44,707 --> 01:41:48,312
Um, it was an assignment
from my therapist.

1794
01:41:48,412 --> 01:41:50,347
Write a letter to yourself,
um, a pep talk.

1795
01:41:50,447 --> 01:41:52,658
"Evan Hansen, dear Evan Hansen,
today's gonna be a good day.

1796
01:41:52,682 --> 01:41:54,226
- "Here's why."
- I-I don't, I don't think that...

1797
01:41:54,250 --> 01:41:56,061
I was supposed to bring it
to my appointment with me,

1798
01:41:56,085 --> 01:41:58,355
but Connor took it, and then
I guess he must have had it

1799
01:41:58,455 --> 01:42:00,556
with him, um...

1800
01:42:02,493 --> 01:42:04,994
When you found him, so...

1801
01:42:09,632 --> 01:42:11,200
What are you saying?

1802
01:42:12,802 --> 01:42:14,438
We weren't friends.

1803
01:42:14,570 --> 01:42:16,039
No.

1804
01:42:16,139 --> 01:42:17,240
No, no, no, no.

1805
01:42:17,341 --> 01:42:20,009
♪ I never meant
to make it such a mess ♪

1806
01:42:21,844 --> 01:42:24,647
♪ I never thought
that it would go this far ♪

1807
01:42:24,747 --> 01:42:27,050
There were emails.
You showed us emails.

1808
01:42:27,150 --> 01:42:31,287
♪ So I just stand here sorry ♪

1809
01:42:31,388 --> 01:42:34,190
♪ searching for
something to say ♪

1810
01:42:34,290 --> 01:42:35,359
Mm.

1811
01:42:35,459 --> 01:42:36,759
♪ Something to say ♪

1812
01:42:36,859 --> 01:42:39,295
Y-Y-You knew about the orchard.

1813
01:42:39,396 --> 01:42:41,465
He-he took you to the orchard.

1814
01:42:41,564 --> 01:42:43,099
That's where you broke your arm.

1815
01:42:43,199 --> 01:42:46,836
I broke my arm in Ellison park,
um, by myself.

1816
01:42:46,936 --> 01:42:49,639
But that day at the orchard...

1817
01:42:51,040 --> 01:42:53,176
You and Connor at the orchard.

1818
01:42:57,414 --> 01:42:59,649
♪ Words fail ♪

1819
01:43:00,517 --> 01:43:02,752
♪ words fail ♪

1820
01:43:03,920 --> 01:43:06,856
♪ there's nothing I can say ♪

1821
01:43:06,956 --> 01:43:08,325
Oh, god.

1822
01:43:10,093 --> 01:43:12,628
But you said that you guys
would talk about me.

1823
01:43:12,728 --> 01:43:14,630
He would...

1824
01:43:14,730 --> 01:43:16,099
How could you do this?

1825
01:43:16,199 --> 01:43:19,035
♪ I guess I thought
I could be part of this ♪

1826
01:43:20,169 --> 01:43:23,272
♪ I never had
this kind of thing before ♪

1827
01:43:24,408 --> 01:43:27,478
♪ I never had
that perfect girl ♪

1828
01:43:27,578 --> 01:43:33,082
♪ who somehow could see
the good part of me ♪

1829
01:43:34,283 --> 01:43:37,053
♪ I never had the dad
who stuck it out ♪

1830
01:43:38,254 --> 01:43:42,091
♪ no corny jokes
or baseball gloves ♪

1831
01:43:42,191 --> 01:43:44,495
♪ no mom who just was there ♪

1832
01:43:44,595 --> 01:43:50,099
♪ 'cause mom was all
that she had to be ♪

1833
01:43:50,199 --> 01:43:54,270
♪ that's not
a worthy explanation ♪

1834
01:43:54,371 --> 01:43:57,240
♪ I know there is none ♪

1835
01:43:59,075 --> 01:44:04,881
♪ nothing can make sense
of all these things I've done ♪

1836
01:44:06,649 --> 01:44:11,220
♪ words fail, words fail ♪

1837
01:44:11,321 --> 01:44:14,690
♪ there's nothing I can say ♪

1838
01:44:14,790 --> 01:44:18,562
♪ except sometimes you see
everything you wanted ♪

1839
01:44:18,661 --> 01:44:20,531
♪ and sometimes ♪

1840
01:44:20,631 --> 01:44:23,099
♪ you see
everything you wish you had ♪

1841
01:44:23,199 --> 01:44:28,372
♪ and it's right there,
right there, right there ♪

1842
01:44:28,472 --> 01:44:30,840
♪ in front of you ♪

1843
01:44:35,345 --> 01:44:38,848
♪ and you want to believe
it's true ♪

1844
01:44:44,687 --> 01:44:47,857
♪ So you make it true ♪

1845
01:44:51,227 --> 01:44:54,964
♪ and you think maybe ♪

1846
01:44:55,064 --> 01:45:00,836
♪ everybody wants it ♪

1847
01:45:03,340 --> 01:45:05,074
♪ and needs it ♪

1848
01:45:06,809 --> 01:45:10,414
♪ a little bit, too. ♪

1849
01:45:26,862 --> 01:45:28,264
Zoe.

1850
01:45:37,273 --> 01:45:40,344
I think it's time for you to go.

1851
01:46:12,476 --> 01:46:13,610
Go away, Evan.

1852
01:46:13,710 --> 01:46:15,044
It isn't fair, okay?

1853
01:46:15,144 --> 01:46:16,580
You can't, you can't let people

1854
01:46:16,680 --> 01:46:18,715
just blame you and your parents.

1855
01:46:18,814 --> 01:46:20,058
They need to know
it was me, okay?

1856
01:46:20,082 --> 01:46:21,322
I'm the one people should hate.

1857
01:46:21,351 --> 01:46:23,919
Yeah, well,
we're not telling anyone.

1858
01:46:24,020 --> 01:46:25,589
Well, that's... I...

1859
01:46:25,689 --> 01:46:28,592
You can't... you have to.

1860
01:46:28,692 --> 01:46:30,727
It's not my decision.

1861
01:46:30,826 --> 01:46:32,295
It's my mom's.

1862
01:46:32,396 --> 01:46:33,963
She doesn't want
to ruin your life.

1863
01:46:34,063 --> 01:46:36,566
She's afraid
you'll do something stupid.

1864
01:46:36,667 --> 01:46:38,635
Like hurt yourself.

1865
01:46:42,539 --> 01:46:45,375
She said
they already lost one son.

1866
01:46:49,713 --> 01:46:52,081
Can you just...

1867
01:46:52,181 --> 01:46:54,685
Leave my family alone, okay?

1868
01:47:22,144 --> 01:47:26,483
♪ This was just
a sad invention ♪

1869
01:47:27,784 --> 01:47:30,554
♪ it wasn't real, I know ♪

1870
01:47:32,188 --> 01:47:34,290
♪ but we were happy ♪

1871
01:47:35,858 --> 01:47:39,396
♪ I guess
I couldn't let that go ♪

1872
01:47:41,230 --> 01:47:44,233
♪ I guess
I couldn't give that up ♪

1873
01:47:45,502 --> 01:47:48,237
♪ I guess I wanted to believe ♪

1874
01:47:48,338 --> 01:47:50,973
♪ 'cause if I just believe ♪

1875
01:47:51,073 --> 01:47:53,876
♪ then I don't have to see ♪

1876
01:47:53,976 --> 01:47:56,380
♪ what's really there ♪

1877
01:47:58,080 --> 01:47:59,783
♪ no, I'd rather pretend ♪

1878
01:47:59,882 --> 01:48:03,119
♪ I'm something better
than these broken parts ♪

1879
01:48:03,219 --> 01:48:06,055
♪ pretend I'm something
other than ♪

1880
01:48:06,155 --> 01:48:08,090
♪ this mess that I am ♪

1881
01:48:08,190 --> 01:48:11,026
♪ 'cause then I don't
have to look at it ♪

1882
01:48:11,127 --> 01:48:13,330
♪ and no one gets
to look at it ♪

1883
01:48:13,430 --> 01:48:18,300
♪ no, no one can really see ♪

1884
01:48:18,402 --> 01:48:22,506
♪ 'cause I've learned
to slam on the brake ♪

1885
01:48:22,606 --> 01:48:27,143
♪ before I even turn the key ♪

1886
01:48:27,243 --> 01:48:31,448
♪ before I make the mistake ♪

1887
01:48:31,548 --> 01:48:35,318
♪ before I lead with
the worst of me ♪

1888
01:48:35,419 --> 01:48:37,687
♪ I never let them see ♪

1889
01:48:37,788 --> 01:48:45,788
♪ the worst of me ♪

1890
01:48:55,938 --> 01:48:57,674
♪ 'Cause what if everyone saw? ♪

1891
01:49:01,878 --> 01:49:04,481
♪ What if everyone knew? ♪

1892
01:49:06,383 --> 01:49:09,084
♪ Would they like
what they saw? ♪

1893
01:49:11,020 --> 01:49:14,223
♪ Or would they hate it, too? ♪

1894
01:49:25,201 --> 01:49:29,639
♪ Will I just keep on
running away ♪

1895
01:49:29,739 --> 01:49:33,743
♪ from what's true? ♪

1896
01:49:36,780 --> 01:49:42,352
♪ All I ever do is run ♪

1897
01:49:45,422 --> 01:49:50,192
♪ so how do I step in ♪

1898
01:49:54,531 --> 01:50:02,531
♪ step into the sun? ♪

1899
01:50:04,306 --> 01:50:10,981
♪ Step into the sun. ♪

1900
01:50:45,515 --> 01:50:47,116
Evan?

1901
01:50:47,884 --> 01:50:49,586
Evan?

1902
01:50:58,093 --> 01:50:59,496
Evan?

1903
01:51:16,078 --> 01:51:17,647
Oh, honey.

1904
01:51:23,320 --> 01:51:25,422
"Dear Evan Hansen..."

1905
01:51:27,324 --> 01:51:29,726
You wrote this? Connor's note?

1906
01:51:33,262 --> 01:51:34,798
I didn't know.

1907
01:51:34,898 --> 01:51:36,366
No one did.

1908
01:51:36,466 --> 01:51:38,568
No, honey, that's...

1909
01:51:39,903 --> 01:51:42,137
That's not what I meant.

1910
01:51:43,640 --> 01:51:45,875
I didn't know that you were...

1911
01:51:46,810 --> 01:51:49,178
That you were hurting
like that.

1912
01:51:49,278 --> 01:51:51,681
That you felt...

1913
01:51:51,781 --> 01:51:53,516
I didn't know.

1914
01:51:55,919 --> 01:51:57,654
I lied.

1915
01:52:01,424 --> 01:52:03,827
I lied about so many things.

1916
01:52:06,363 --> 01:52:08,598
Not just Connor. Um...

1917
01:52:13,235 --> 01:52:15,639
So, last summer, um...

1918
01:52:18,273 --> 01:52:19,843
I just...

1919
01:52:22,277 --> 01:52:25,147
I just felt so alone. Um...

1920
01:52:28,018 --> 01:52:29,586
You can tell me.

1921
01:52:32,722 --> 01:52:34,457
The tree.

1922
01:52:37,292 --> 01:52:39,496
I didn't fall.

1923
01:52:42,565 --> 01:52:43,767
I let go.

1924
01:52:47,737 --> 01:52:50,340
- Oh, Evan.
- Do you hate me now?

1925
01:52:52,442 --> 01:52:55,845
You should. You should.

1926
01:52:55,945 --> 01:53:00,650
If you knew who I am,
just how just broken I am.

1927
01:53:01,451 --> 01:53:03,553
I already know you.

1928
01:53:04,954 --> 01:53:06,356
And I love you.

1929
01:53:12,194 --> 01:53:14,431
I can promise you that...

1930
01:53:16,766 --> 01:53:18,134
Someday...

1931
01:53:19,069 --> 01:53:22,772
All of this is gonna feel
like a very long time ago.

1932
01:53:26,876 --> 01:53:28,778
Ah.

1933
01:53:30,146 --> 01:53:32,382
Your dad, um...

1934
01:53:34,984 --> 01:53:37,654
Do you remember when
he drove by to get his things?

1935
01:53:42,892 --> 01:53:45,829
It was a few weeks
after he moved out.

1936
01:53:47,397 --> 01:53:49,632
Temporarily, we said.

1937
01:53:50,734 --> 01:53:53,570
♪ It was a February day ♪

1938
01:53:54,938 --> 01:54:00,343
♪ when your dad came by
before going away ♪

1939
01:54:01,444 --> 01:54:04,914
♪ a u-haul truck
in the driveway ♪

1940
01:54:06,449 --> 01:54:11,554
♪ the day it was suddenly real ♪

1941
01:54:12,722 --> 01:54:15,859
♪ I told you
not to come outside ♪

1942
01:54:16,760 --> 01:54:22,398
♪ but you saw that truck,
and you smiled so wide ♪

1943
01:54:23,933 --> 01:54:28,705
♪ a real live truck
in your driveway ♪

1944
01:54:29,539 --> 01:54:33,743
♪ we let you sit
behind the wheel ♪

1945
01:54:36,312 --> 01:54:41,283
♪ goodbye, goodbye ♪

1946
01:54:42,085 --> 01:54:45,588
♪ now it's just me ♪

1947
01:54:45,688 --> 01:54:48,858
♪ and my little guy ♪

1948
01:54:50,927 --> 01:54:55,698
♪ and the house felt so big ♪

1949
01:54:57,500 --> 01:55:02,639
♪ and I felt so small ♪

1950
01:55:03,673 --> 01:55:08,478
♪ the house felt so big ♪

1951
01:55:09,679 --> 01:55:14,551
♪ and I felt so small ♪

1952
01:55:16,219 --> 01:55:19,489
♪ that night,
I tucked you into bed ♪

1953
01:55:20,590 --> 01:55:25,962
♪ I will never forget
how you sat up and said ♪

1954
01:55:26,062 --> 01:55:30,533
♪ "is there another truck
coming to our driveway? ♪

1955
01:55:31,568 --> 01:55:37,373
♪ A truck that will
take mommy away?" ♪

1956
01:55:38,842 --> 01:55:44,414
♪ and the house felt so big ♪

1957
01:55:45,215 --> 01:55:50,820
♪ and I felt so small ♪

1958
01:55:51,654 --> 01:55:56,860
♪ the house felt so big ♪

1959
01:55:56,960 --> 01:55:59,729
♪ and I ♪

1960
01:55:59,829 --> 01:56:03,633
♪ and I knew there would be ♪

1961
01:56:03,733 --> 01:56:06,603
♪ moments that I'd miss ♪

1962
01:56:06,703 --> 01:56:10,073
♪ and I knew there would be ♪

1963
01:56:10,173 --> 01:56:12,508
♪ space I couldn't fill ♪

1964
01:56:12,609 --> 01:56:15,912
♪ and I knew I'd come up short ♪

1965
01:56:16,012 --> 01:56:20,516
♪ a million different ways ♪

1966
01:56:20,617 --> 01:56:23,419
♪ and I did ♪

1967
01:56:25,121 --> 01:56:28,925
♪ and I do ♪

1968
01:56:30,361 --> 01:56:32,962
♪ and I will ♪

1969
01:56:34,931 --> 01:56:37,867
♪ but like that February day ♪

1970
01:56:39,370 --> 01:56:41,437
♪ I will take your hand ♪

1971
01:56:41,537 --> 01:56:44,941
♪ squeeze it tightly and say ♪

1972
01:56:45,041 --> 01:56:48,845
♪ "there's not another truck
in the driveway ♪

1973
01:56:50,046 --> 01:56:52,649
♪ "your mom
isn't going anywhere ♪

1974
01:56:52,749 --> 01:56:55,585
♪ "your mom is
staying right here ♪

1975
01:56:55,685 --> 01:56:58,187
♪ "your mom
isn't going anywhere ♪

1976
01:56:58,288 --> 01:57:01,891
♪ your mom is
staying right here" ♪

1977
01:57:02,659 --> 01:57:04,928
♪ no matter what ♪

1978
01:57:07,196 --> 01:57:11,734
♪ I'll be here ♪

1979
01:57:12,535 --> 01:57:17,774
♪ when it all feels so big ♪

1980
01:57:18,775 --> 01:57:23,947
♪ till it all feels so small ♪

1981
01:57:24,747 --> 01:57:29,652
♪ when it all feels so big ♪

1982
01:57:30,720 --> 01:57:33,990
♪ till it all feels ♪

1983
01:57:34,090 --> 01:57:40,496
♪ so small ♪

1984
01:57:42,632 --> 01:57:49,238
♪ till it all feels so small. ♪

1985
01:57:50,606 --> 01:57:51,874
Oh.

1986
01:57:57,580 --> 01:58:00,216
It's gonna get better,
I promise.

1987
01:58:14,697 --> 01:58:17,100
I was never friends
with Connor Murphy.

1988
01:58:18,469 --> 01:58:20,903
I lied,

1989
01:58:21,004 --> 01:58:22,505
repeatedly,

1990
01:58:22,605 --> 01:58:25,442
to his family,

1991
01:58:25,541 --> 01:58:28,111
to Alana,

1992
01:58:28,211 --> 01:58:30,113
to all of you.

1993
01:58:31,614 --> 01:58:33,249
I'm not asking
for your forgiveness.

1994
01:58:33,350 --> 01:58:34,351
I don't deserve it.

1995
01:58:34,451 --> 01:58:37,086
But, um, please...

1996
01:58:38,389 --> 01:58:41,157
Connor's family
doesn't deserve your hatred.

1997
01:58:42,692 --> 01:58:44,260
I do.

1998
01:58:46,529 --> 01:58:48,097
I'm sorry.

1999
02:00:00,636 --> 02:00:03,306
♪ Spent so many seasons ♪

2000
02:00:03,407 --> 02:00:06,577
♪ lost inside my mind ♪

2001
02:00:06,676 --> 02:00:11,147
♪ lost inside my mind ♪

2002
02:00:12,682 --> 02:00:14,851
♪ like a message in a bottle ♪

2003
02:00:14,951 --> 02:00:17,620
♪ I thought nobody would find ♪

2004
02:00:17,720 --> 02:00:22,291
♪ that nobody would find ♪

2005
02:00:23,893 --> 02:00:27,029
♪ I've been drifting,
I've been dreaming ♪

2006
02:00:27,130 --> 02:00:29,966
♪ I would land upon the shore ♪

2007
02:00:30,066 --> 02:00:33,504
♪ to a haven, to a harbor ♪

2008
02:00:33,604 --> 02:00:38,141
♪ that felt so far before ♪

2009
02:00:39,443 --> 02:00:42,312
♪ well, today ♪

2010
02:00:42,412 --> 02:00:45,349
♪ today ♪

2011
02:00:45,449 --> 02:00:47,783
♪ what felt so far away ♪

2012
02:00:47,884 --> 02:00:51,388
♪ feels a little closer ♪

2013
02:00:51,488 --> 02:00:57,628
♪ for today, today ♪

2014
02:00:57,727 --> 02:01:00,062
♪ today ♪

2015
02:01:01,964 --> 02:01:06,969
♪ it feels a little closer ♪

2016
02:01:09,939 --> 02:01:12,108
♪ how long
these days of darkness ♪

2017
02:01:12,208 --> 02:01:15,646
♪ at the bottom of a well ♪

2018
02:01:15,745 --> 02:01:20,249
♪ that old, familiar well ♪

2019
02:01:21,951 --> 02:01:25,489
♪ sitting heavy
with these secrets ♪

2020
02:01:25,589 --> 02:01:27,857
♪ with nobody to tell ♪

2021
02:01:27,957 --> 02:01:31,827
♪ nobody to tell ♪

2022
02:01:32,629 --> 02:01:34,864
- Okay, your turn. Come on.
- ♪ high above ♪

2023
02:01:34,964 --> 02:01:36,600
♪ a streak of sunlight ♪

2024
02:01:36,699 --> 02:01:39,235
♪ and a wall too tall to climb ♪

2025
02:01:39,336 --> 02:01:43,139
♪ all the reaching,
all the wanting ♪

2026
02:01:43,239 --> 02:01:46,742
♪ just to tumble every time ♪

2027
02:01:46,842 --> 02:01:47,910
I think we got it.

2028
02:01:48,010 --> 02:01:49,680
All right.

2029
02:01:49,779 --> 02:01:52,715
♪ But today ♪

2030
02:01:52,815 --> 02:01:55,419
♪ today ♪

2031
02:01:55,519 --> 02:01:57,720
♪ what felt so far away ♪

2032
02:01:57,820 --> 02:02:01,358
♪ feels a little closer ♪

2033
02:02:01,458 --> 02:02:07,730
♪ for today, today ♪

2034
02:02:07,830 --> 02:02:10,299
♪ today ♪

2035
02:02:12,969 --> 02:02:16,172
♪ it feels a little closer ♪

2036
02:02:25,248 --> 02:02:31,754
♪ And the days carry on ♪

2037
02:02:31,854 --> 02:02:33,724
♪ the clouds come rolling in ♪

2038
02:02:33,823 --> 02:02:37,093
♪ and then they're gone ♪

2039
02:02:37,193 --> 02:02:44,100
♪ as the days keep coming on ♪

2040
02:02:44,200 --> 02:02:48,804
♪ the midnight sky
turns to dawn ♪

2041
02:02:58,749 --> 02:03:04,755
♪ Today, today ♪

2042
02:03:04,854 --> 02:03:07,223
♪ what felt so far away ♪

2043
02:03:07,324 --> 02:03:11,294
♪ feels a little closer ♪

2044
02:03:11,395 --> 02:03:17,501
♪ today, today ♪

2045
02:03:17,601 --> 02:03:19,802
♪ what felt so far away ♪

2046
02:03:19,902 --> 02:03:24,206
♪ feels a little closer ♪

2047
02:03:24,307 --> 02:03:30,212
♪ for today, today ♪

2048
02:03:30,314 --> 02:03:33,215
♪ today ♪

2049
02:03:35,719 --> 02:03:38,789
♪ it feels a little closer ♪

2050
02:03:38,888 --> 02:03:41,325
♪ a little closer ♪

2051
02:03:41,425 --> 02:03:44,960
♪ it feels a little closer ♪

2052
02:03:45,061 --> 02:03:48,365
♪ a little closer ♪

2053
02:03:50,933 --> 02:03:55,071
♪ it feels a little closer. ♪

2054
02:04:36,946 --> 02:04:39,816
You must start school
pretty soon.

2055
02:04:39,915 --> 02:04:42,017
Two more weeks.

2056
02:04:43,820 --> 02:04:46,122
When do you leave for college?

2057
02:04:46,222 --> 02:04:50,827
Um, actually I decided
to take a year off, so...

2058
02:04:50,926 --> 02:04:52,696
Uh, just try to save some money.

2059
02:04:52,796 --> 02:04:54,464
Get a job.

2060
02:04:54,564 --> 02:04:57,967
Uh... take some time.

2061
02:04:58,067 --> 02:05:00,337
So, I'm taking classes
at the community college.

2062
02:05:00,437 --> 02:05:03,540
I'll have credits to transfer
in the fall, so...

2063
02:05:04,608 --> 02:05:05,675
That's smart.

2064
02:05:05,776 --> 02:05:07,677
Yeah. We'll see.

2065
02:05:11,280 --> 02:05:13,617
I always picture
you and Connor here.

2066
02:05:14,917 --> 02:05:16,653
Even though...

2067
02:05:18,321 --> 02:05:20,424
This is my first time.

2068
02:05:21,825 --> 02:05:23,560
It's nice.

2069
02:05:24,828 --> 02:05:26,530
Peaceful.

2070
02:05:27,531 --> 02:05:30,500
My parents come here
all the time.

2071
02:05:30,600 --> 02:05:33,969
We do picnics, like,
every weekend.

2072
02:05:34,069 --> 02:05:37,006
Lots of gluten-free sandwiches.

2073
02:05:40,644 --> 02:05:43,078
It's helped them a lot,
actually.

2074
02:05:44,213 --> 02:05:45,615
Having this.

2075
02:05:51,655 --> 02:05:53,390
What I did...

2076
02:05:55,090 --> 02:05:57,026
I can't even...

2077
02:06:00,963 --> 02:06:04,300
It's the worst thing
anyone can do.

2078
02:06:11,374 --> 02:06:13,577
I wish we could have met now.

2079
02:06:15,378 --> 02:06:17,246
Today.

2080
02:06:17,347 --> 02:06:19,316
For the first time.

2081
02:06:20,082 --> 02:06:22,586
Me, too.

2082
02:06:26,890 --> 02:06:27,958
I should probably...

2083
02:06:28,057 --> 02:06:29,559
Yeah. Yeah, of course.

2084
02:06:29,659 --> 02:06:31,561
Of course.

2085
02:06:33,930 --> 02:06:35,665
Hey, can I just...

2086
02:06:36,700 --> 02:06:38,735
Can I just ask you...

2087
02:06:40,437 --> 02:06:42,372
Why did you want to meet here?

2088
02:06:48,411 --> 02:06:51,180
I wanted to be sure
that you saw this.

2089
02:06:55,385 --> 02:06:58,153
He really loved it here.

2090
02:07:13,737 --> 02:07:16,071
<i>Dear Evan Hansen...</i>

2091
02:07:17,206 --> 02:07:20,844
<i>Today is gonna be
a good day, and here's why.</i>

2092
02:07:21,845 --> 02:07:25,882
<i>Because today,
no matter what else,</i>

2093
02:07:25,982 --> 02:07:28,351
<i>today at least you're you.</i>

2094
02:07:28,451 --> 02:07:30,020
<i>No hiding, no lying.</i>

2095
02:07:30,119 --> 02:07:32,087
<i>And that's...</i>

2096
02:07:32,187 --> 02:07:33,557
<i>That's enough.</i>

2097
02:07:33,657 --> 02:07:36,793
<i>So no matter how hard it gets,</i>

2098
02:07:36,893 --> 02:07:40,830
<i>even if it feels... impossible,</i>

2099
02:07:40,931 --> 02:07:42,832
<i>this time you'll know.</i>

2100
02:07:43,967 --> 02:07:46,135
<i>Don't let go.</i>

2101
02:07:46,235 --> 02:07:49,806
<i>Just hold on and keep going.</i>

2102
02:07:51,641 --> 02:07:53,043
<i>Just keep going.</i>

2103
02:07:57,781 --> 02:08:05,781
♪ Today, today ♪

2104
02:08:06,856 --> 02:08:08,425
♪ today ♪

2105
02:08:12,161 --> 02:08:19,134
♪ it feels a little closer. ♪

2106
02:09:06,049 --> 02:09:10,620
♪ Have you ever felt like
nobody was there? ♪

2107
02:09:12,122 --> 02:09:18,028
♪ Have you ever felt forgotten
in the middle of nowhere? ♪

2108
02:09:18,128 --> 02:09:22,932
♪ Have you ever felt like
you could disappear? ♪

2109
02:09:24,067 --> 02:09:26,603
♪ Like you could fall ♪

2110
02:09:26,703 --> 02:09:29,406
♪ and no one would hear? ♪

2111
02:09:30,507 --> 02:09:34,811
♪ Well, let that lonely feeling
wash away ♪

2112
02:09:36,780 --> 02:09:42,217
♪ maybe there's a reason
to believe you'll be okay ♪

2113
02:09:42,318 --> 02:09:47,357
♪ 'cause when you don't feel
strong enough to stand ♪

2114
02:09:48,458 --> 02:09:50,593
♪ you can reach ♪

2115
02:09:50,694 --> 02:09:54,030
♪ reach out your hand ♪

2116
02:09:54,130 --> 02:10:00,003
♪ and, oh,
someone will come running ♪

2117
02:10:00,103 --> 02:10:07,377
♪ and I know
they'll take you home ♪

2118
02:10:07,477 --> 02:10:10,380
♪ even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

2119
02:10:10,480 --> 02:10:13,516
♪ when you need a friend
to carry you ♪

2120
02:10:13,616 --> 02:10:17,087
♪ and when you're broken
on the ground ♪

2121
02:10:17,187 --> 02:10:19,556
♪ you will be found ♪

2122
02:10:19,656 --> 02:10:22,125
♪ so let the sun
come streaming in ♪

2123
02:10:22,224 --> 02:10:25,695
♪ 'cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

2124
02:10:25,795 --> 02:10:29,065
♪ lift your head
and look around ♪

2125
02:10:29,165 --> 02:10:34,471
♪ you will be found ♪

2126
02:10:35,237 --> 02:10:40,343
♪ you will be found ♪

2127
02:10:42,212 --> 02:10:47,217
♪ there's a place where
we don't have to feel unknown ♪

2128
02:10:48,818 --> 02:10:51,387
♪ and every time you call out ♪

2129
02:10:51,488 --> 02:10:54,791
♪ you're a little less alone ♪

2130
02:10:54,891 --> 02:10:59,529
♪ oh, if you only say the word ♪

2131
02:10:59,629 --> 02:11:03,733
♪ oh, from across the silence ♪

2132
02:11:03,833 --> 02:11:08,805
♪ your voice is heard ♪

2133
02:11:08,905 --> 02:11:11,875
♪ even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

2134
02:11:11,975 --> 02:11:15,011
♪ when you need a friend
to carry you ♪

2135
02:11:15,111 --> 02:11:18,581
♪ and when you're broken
on the ground ♪

2136
02:11:18,681 --> 02:11:21,017
♪ you will be found ♪

2137
02:11:21,117 --> 02:11:23,653
♪ so let the sun
come streaming in ♪

2138
02:11:23,753 --> 02:11:27,357
♪ 'cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

2139
02:11:27,457 --> 02:11:30,660
♪ lift your head
and look around ♪

2140
02:11:30,760 --> 02:11:33,696
♪ you will be found ♪

2141
02:11:33,797 --> 02:11:41,797
♪ you will be found,
you will be found ♪

2142
02:11:42,739 --> 02:11:45,708
♪ you will be found ♪

2143
02:11:45,809 --> 02:11:53,383
♪ you will be found,
you will be found ♪

2144
02:11:56,352 --> 02:11:58,822
<i>♪ out of the shadows ♪</i>

2145
02:11:58,922 --> 02:12:01,558
<i>♪ the morning is breaking ♪</i>

2146
02:12:01,658 --> 02:12:07,997
<i>♪ and all is new
and all is new ♪</i>

2147
02:12:08,097 --> 02:12:11,167
<i>♪ it's filling up the empty ♪</i>

2148
02:12:11,267 --> 02:12:13,469
<i>♪ and suddenly I see ♪</i>

2149
02:12:13,570 --> 02:12:16,739
<i>♪ that all is new ♪</i>

2150
02:12:16,840 --> 02:12:20,944
<i>♪ all is new ♪</i>

2151
02:12:21,044 --> 02:12:24,147
♪ even when the dark
comes crashing through ♪

2152
02:12:24,247 --> 02:12:27,517
♪ when you need a friend
to carry you ♪

2153
02:12:27,617 --> 02:12:31,221
♪ and when you're broken
on the ground ♪

2154
02:12:31,322 --> 02:12:33,756
♪ you will be found ♪

2155
02:12:33,857 --> 02:12:36,693
♪ so let the sun
come streaming in ♪

2156
02:12:36,793 --> 02:12:40,363
♪ 'cause you'll reach up
and you'll rise again ♪

2157
02:12:40,463 --> 02:12:43,800
♪ lift your head
and look around ♪

2158
02:12:43,900 --> 02:12:49,372
♪ you will be found. ♪

2159
02:13:06,089 --> 02:13:08,091
♪ Ever look at all the people ♪

2160
02:13:08,191 --> 02:13:11,261
♪ seem to know
exactly how to be? ♪

2161
02:13:11,362 --> 02:13:14,898
<i>♪ How to be,
how to be now, how to be ♪</i>

2162
02:13:14,998 --> 02:13:18,768
♪ you think, they don't need
piles of prescriptions ♪

2163
02:13:18,868 --> 02:13:21,437
♪ to function naturally ♪

2164
02:13:21,537 --> 02:13:25,174
<i>♪ functioning natural ♪</i>

2165
02:13:25,275 --> 02:13:28,611
♪ take a look
and you might just catch it ♪

2166
02:13:28,711 --> 02:13:30,546
♪ stay a minute more ♪

2167
02:13:30,647 --> 02:13:33,950
<i>♪ minute more, minute more now,
minute more ♪</i>

2168
02:13:34,050 --> 02:13:38,221
♪ there's a little moment
after the sunny smile ♪

2169
02:13:38,322 --> 02:13:40,189
♪ their eyes fall to the floor ♪

2170
02:13:40,290 --> 02:13:43,493
<i>♪ to the floor, to the
floor now, to the floor ♪</i>

2171
02:13:43,593 --> 02:13:46,863
♪ the truth starts
peeking through ♪

2172
02:13:46,963 --> 02:13:48,332
<i>♪ peeking through ♪</i>

2173
02:13:48,431 --> 02:13:52,869
♪ they're a lot
like me and you ♪

2174
02:13:52,969 --> 02:13:58,141
♪ they can fake a smile, too ♪

2175
02:14:00,743 --> 02:14:03,112
♪ the anonymous ones ♪

2176
02:14:03,212 --> 02:14:06,649
♪ never let you see
the ache they carry ♪

2177
02:14:06,749 --> 02:14:09,852
<i>♪ they carry, they carry,
they carry ♪</i>

2178
02:14:09,953 --> 02:14:12,922
♪ all those anonymous ones ♪

2179
02:14:13,022 --> 02:14:16,192
♪ never name the quiet pain
they Bury ♪

2180
02:14:16,292 --> 02:14:20,163
<i>♪ they Bury, they Bury,
they Bury ♪</i>

2181
02:14:20,263 --> 02:14:24,267
♪ keep on keeping secrets that
they think they have to hide ♪

2182
02:14:24,368 --> 02:14:29,105
♪ what if everybody's secret is
they have that secret side? ♪

2183
02:14:29,205 --> 02:14:33,476
♪ And to know,
to know we're not alone ♪

2184
02:14:33,576 --> 02:14:36,179
♪ is all we're hoping for ♪

2185
02:14:37,146 --> 02:14:39,515
♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪

2186
02:14:39,615 --> 02:14:41,918
♪ why you gotta be anonymous? ♪

2187
02:14:42,018 --> 02:14:45,621
♪ I don't wanna be anonymous
anymore ♪

2188
02:14:53,196 --> 02:14:56,733
♪ Anymore ♪

2189
02:15:03,706 --> 02:15:05,975
♪ Spot the girl
who stays in motion ♪

2190
02:15:06,075 --> 02:15:09,313
♪ spins so fast
so she won't fall ♪

2191
02:15:09,413 --> 02:15:13,182
<i>♪ world spins so fast,
spins so fast ♪</i>

2192
02:15:13,282 --> 02:15:15,618
♪ she's built a wall
of her achievements ♪

2193
02:15:15,718 --> 02:15:17,253
♪ keep out the question ♪

2194
02:15:17,354 --> 02:15:22,025
♪ without it, is she worth
anything at all? ♪

2195
02:15:22,125 --> 02:15:26,629
♪ And truth starts
peeking through ♪

2196
02:15:26,729 --> 02:15:31,502
♪ they're a lot
like me and you ♪

2197
02:15:31,601 --> 02:15:36,773
♪ they can fake a smile, too ♪

2198
02:15:39,476 --> 02:15:41,778
♪ the anonymous ones ♪

2199
02:15:41,878 --> 02:15:45,048
♪ never let you see
the ache they carry ♪

2200
02:15:45,148 --> 02:15:48,419
<i>♪ they carry, they carry,
they carry ♪</i>

2201
02:15:48,519 --> 02:15:51,355
♪ all those anonymous ones ♪

2202
02:15:51,455 --> 02:15:54,525
♪ never name the quiet pain
they Bury ♪

2203
02:15:54,624 --> 02:15:58,728
<i>♪ they Bury, they Bury,
they Bury ♪</i>

2204
02:15:58,828 --> 02:16:01,064
♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪

2205
02:16:01,164 --> 02:16:03,699
♪ why you gotta be anonymous? ♪

2206
02:16:03,800 --> 02:16:05,568
♪ I don't wanna be anonymous
anymore ♪

2207
02:16:05,668 --> 02:16:08,071
♪ the parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

2208
02:16:08,171 --> 02:16:10,374
♪ but that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

2209
02:16:10,474 --> 02:16:12,909
♪ the parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

2210
02:16:13,009 --> 02:16:15,178
♪ but that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

2211
02:16:15,278 --> 02:16:17,481
♪ the parts we can't tell,
we carry them well ♪

2212
02:16:17,580 --> 02:16:22,519
♪ but that doesn't mean
they're not heavy ♪

2213
02:16:22,618 --> 02:16:24,887
♪ heavy ♪

2214
02:16:24,987 --> 02:16:27,357
♪ the anonymous ones ♪

2215
02:16:27,458 --> 02:16:30,860
♪ never let you see
the ache they carry ♪

2216
02:16:30,960 --> 02:16:34,030
♪ they carry, they carry,
they carry ♪

2217
02:16:34,130 --> 02:16:37,066
♪ all the anonymous ones ♪

2218
02:16:37,166 --> 02:16:42,605
♪ never name the quiet pain
they Bury ♪

2219
02:16:44,341 --> 02:16:48,545
♪ keep on keeping secrets that
they think they have to hide ♪

2220
02:16:48,644 --> 02:16:53,249
♪ what if everybody's secret is
they have that secret side? ♪

2221
02:16:53,350 --> 02:16:57,454
♪ And to know,
to know we're not alone ♪

2222
02:16:57,554 --> 02:17:01,090
♪ is all we're hoping for ♪

2223
02:17:01,190 --> 02:17:03,594
♪ I don't wanna be anonymous ♪

2224
02:17:03,693 --> 02:17:06,028
♪ why you gotta be anonymous? ♪

2225
02:17:06,129 --> 02:17:10,166
♪ I don't wanna be anonymous
anymore. ♪