1 00:00:01,507 --> 00:00:03,015 Whose car do you think that is? 2 00:00:03,040 --> 00:00:05,054 Must be a rich Omaha banker. 3 00:00:05,079 --> 00:00:06,915 - You think? - See, I think it's Meghan and Harry, 4 00:00:06,939 --> 00:00:08,796 because if you wanted to escape the castle, 5 00:00:08,821 --> 00:00:10,562 what better place to hide than Bucksnort? 6 00:00:10,587 --> 00:00:11,977 Whoever it is, we should stop staring, 7 00:00:12,001 --> 00:00:13,774 because obviously, they don't want a lot of attention. 8 00:00:13,798 --> 00:00:16,617 - A little attention, please! - Oh! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! 9 00:00:16,773 --> 00:00:17,914 Oh, my God. 10 00:00:17,939 --> 00:00:19,047 That's, um... 11 00:00:19,071 --> 00:00:21,710 Mrs. Skillet from Mrs. Skillet's Diner. 12 00:00:21,735 --> 00:00:23,765 We ate there when we first drove into Nebraska. 13 00:00:23,790 --> 00:00:25,391 Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. It's got the jingle, right? 14 00:00:25,415 --> 00:00:26,415 The jingle, yeah. 15 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:29,828 ♪ If your tummy's empty, we can fill it ♪ 16 00:00:29,853 --> 00:00:31,601 ♪ Mrs. Skillet ♪ 17 00:00:31,626 --> 00:00:33,421 ♪ Got the breakfast ♪ 18 00:00:33,446 --> 00:00:35,079 - "Right off of Route 34." - Yeah. 19 00:00:35,103 --> 00:00:36,398 - Should we say hi? - Yeah. 20 00:00:36,423 --> 00:00:37,843 Well, let me have it back. 21 00:00:37,868 --> 00:00:39,781 Mrs. Skillet. Mrs. Skillet. 22 00:00:39,806 --> 00:00:41,408 My name's Rio. I'm just a really big fan. 23 00:00:41,433 --> 00:00:42,907 Well, I'd think a "big fan" would know 24 00:00:42,931 --> 00:00:46,035 that my real name is Dolores Skelmersdale. 25 00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:48,500 - Skelmersdale. That's great. - Skelmers... Skelmer... 26 00:00:48,525 --> 00:00:49,627 - I'm Mike. - Hi. 27 00:00:49,652 --> 00:00:51,218 What... What brings you to Bucksnort? 28 00:00:51,243 --> 00:00:54,015 Well, I'm opening a new franchise down the road. 29 00:00:54,040 --> 00:00:55,875 - Oh! - Oh, my Go... 30 00:00:55,900 --> 00:00:57,101 - Score! - Ooh! Sign us up. 31 00:00:57,126 --> 00:00:58,148 Here's my card. 32 00:00:58,173 --> 00:00:59,882 - Ooh, a card. - Don't call, though. 33 00:00:59,907 --> 00:01:01,625 - You know... No. - Don't call. 34 00:01:01,650 --> 00:01:03,179 Um, will you be rude to me next? 35 00:01:03,204 --> 00:01:06,007 - I don't think I have the time. - She did. 36 00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:15,077 Well, hello there... 37 00:01:15,491 --> 00:01:17,190 Betsy. 38 00:01:17,809 --> 00:01:20,104 I'm off the clock. You'll have to pump your own gas. 39 00:01:20,129 --> 00:01:22,524 We're not liable for slips, falls, or explosions. 40 00:01:22,549 --> 00:01:24,526 Do you know who I am? 41 00:01:24,551 --> 00:01:26,088 You're not the president, are you? 42 00:01:26,113 --> 00:01:27,901 I don't follow the news. 43 00:01:27,926 --> 00:01:29,510 Tall and funny. 44 00:01:30,644 --> 00:01:32,377 What are you drinking? 45 00:01:32,402 --> 00:01:34,479 This, I guess. 46 00:01:45,288 --> 00:01:46,885 Mmm. 47 00:02:01,368 --> 00:02:02,955 Yeah. 48 00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,754 Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie www.addic7ed.com 49 00:02:19,755 --> 00:02:20,996 Hey, honey. 50 00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:23,020 I've been reading up on Mrs. Skillet, 51 00:02:23,044 --> 00:02:25,434 and she had a big ol' scandal last year. 52 00:02:25,459 --> 00:02:27,106 - Oh. - Turns out their powdered eggs 53 00:02:27,131 --> 00:02:28,886 were cut with baby powder. 54 00:02:28,911 --> 00:02:30,153 - Mm-mm-mm. - That's gross. 55 00:02:30,178 --> 00:02:31,864 Yeah. Now she's trying to rebrand, 56 00:02:31,889 --> 00:02:33,294 and I thought... ding! 57 00:02:33,318 --> 00:02:34,965 what about this as a PR move? 58 00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:38,020 - Okay. - They add an item to their menu... 59 00:02:38,045 --> 00:02:40,862 Local eggs from our farm! 60 00:02:40,887 --> 00:02:42,379 - Huh? - I like that. 61 00:02:42,404 --> 00:02:43,817 I have a meeting with her tomorrow. 62 00:02:43,842 --> 00:02:45,629 - I'm so excited. - And I-I... This is it. 63 00:02:45,654 --> 00:02:47,239 This is what we've been working for! 64 00:02:47,264 --> 00:02:48,529 I mean, I don't want to overstate it, but I think 65 00:02:48,553 --> 00:02:51,059 our whole life has been leading up to this moment. 66 00:02:51,084 --> 00:02:52,162 Hang on a second. 67 00:02:52,186 --> 00:02:54,503 - What do we got? - It's Kay. She keeps texting me. 68 00:02:54,528 --> 00:02:55,560 She wants me to go over there. 69 00:02:55,584 --> 00:02:57,512 She's helping Jacob and Janine plan their engagement party, 70 00:02:57,536 --> 00:02:58,541 and I don't think it's going well, 71 00:02:58,565 --> 00:03:01,121 'cause she keeps texting me "Duck that witch." 72 00:03:01,146 --> 00:03:02,832 - It's autocorrect. - "Duck that witch"... 73 00:03:02,857 --> 00:03:04,520 - Work it out. - Okay. 74 00:03:04,545 --> 00:03:05,923 - So I got to get over there. - Okay, it's getting hot over there. 75 00:03:05,947 --> 00:03:07,216 - Yeah. - Uh, can I come with you? 76 00:03:07,240 --> 00:03:09,303 Because I-I want to get a couple tips for my presentation. 77 00:03:09,327 --> 00:03:11,169 Beau told me he's, like, an incredible salesman, 78 00:03:11,193 --> 00:03:13,457 and I bought it, so I'm thinking, maybe he is. 79 00:03:13,482 --> 00:03:14,918 - Maybe he is. Yeah. - Alright. 80 00:03:14,943 --> 00:03:17,463 I don't think you understand how expensive it is 81 00:03:17,488 --> 00:03:19,379 to rent out an entire water park. 82 00:03:19,404 --> 00:03:20,654 - How is everyone? - .. talking about this. 83 00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,965 Our engagement party has to be at a water park! 84 00:03:22,990 --> 00:03:24,317 Why can't we just have it here? 85 00:03:24,342 --> 00:03:26,526 Because I'll look stupid walking around the house 86 00:03:26,551 --> 00:03:27,695 in my bathing suit! 87 00:03:27,719 --> 00:03:28,911 Oh, my God! 88 00:03:28,936 --> 00:03:30,114 Janine... hey... 89 00:03:30,139 --> 00:03:32,282 You can go eat a foot-long hot dog, Janine! 90 00:03:32,307 --> 00:03:34,457 You know she just ate lunch! 91 00:03:34,965 --> 00:03:37,629 - Hi, Rio. You look very nice today. - Hi. Hi. 92 00:03:37,654 --> 00:03:39,764 - God, this is a nightmare! - Well... 93 00:03:39,789 --> 00:03:42,292 No, their demands don't even make any sense. 94 00:03:42,317 --> 00:03:44,808 Janine wants Coachella to perform live. 95 00:03:44,833 --> 00:03:46,529 - Coachella? - Yeah. 96 00:03:46,554 --> 00:03:47,795 You know how hard she is to get? 97 00:03:47,819 --> 00:03:50,310 She's the biggest act in show business. 98 00:03:50,335 --> 00:03:51,380 Ohhh, dear. 99 00:03:51,405 --> 00:03:53,170 Kay, just remember what we were talking about. 100 00:03:53,194 --> 00:03:54,474 They're inseparable. 101 00:03:54,499 --> 00:03:56,943 - They're a united front against you. - Mm-hmm. 102 00:03:56,968 --> 00:03:59,622 You got to put on a big ol' smile 103 00:03:59,647 --> 00:04:01,208 and ingratiate yourself, 104 00:04:01,233 --> 00:04:02,810 - be on their team, okay? - Mm-hmm. 105 00:04:02,835 --> 00:04:05,005 And then you can destroy them from the inside, 106 00:04:05,030 --> 00:04:06,169 like a tapeworm. 107 00:04:06,194 --> 00:04:08,716 Alright. I think can put on a pleasant face. How's this? 108 00:04:09,294 --> 00:04:11,130 Work on it. 109 00:04:13,367 --> 00:04:15,450 That's it. That's... That's the one. 110 00:04:15,475 --> 00:04:16,856 That's the one. 111 00:04:17,132 --> 00:04:18,615 Now, if you follow this ascending line, 112 00:04:18,639 --> 00:04:19,640 what you're gonna see is, more and more 113 00:04:19,664 --> 00:04:21,567 Americans are valuing organic... 114 00:04:21,592 --> 00:04:23,215 - No. No... - ... healthy, local... 115 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,169 Business out here is about relationships, not numbers. 116 00:04:26,194 --> 00:04:28,161 You walk in there with a bottle of scotch, 117 00:04:28,186 --> 00:04:29,676 and you give Dolores a nickname, 118 00:04:29,701 --> 00:04:32,106 like "Chief" or "Pinky" or "Ding Dong Daddy." 119 00:04:32,131 --> 00:04:34,295 And you don't think she'll be offended if I call her "Ding Dong Daddy"? 120 00:04:34,319 --> 00:04:35,575 It's a power play. 121 00:04:36,014 --> 00:04:38,141 And so is this. 122 00:04:39,728 --> 00:04:41,121 Well, no... I... 123 00:04:41,146 --> 00:04:42,997 - You want to try it? - Yeah, let me try. 124 00:04:43,474 --> 00:04:44,481 Hold on. Let me try it. 125 00:04:44,506 --> 00:04:46,169 - Watch that thing! - Sorry. 126 00:04:50,449 --> 00:04:52,153 Hi, Betsy. 127 00:04:52,178 --> 00:04:55,340 I just stopped by to give you a little present. 128 00:04:55,365 --> 00:04:57,341 For me? 129 00:04:57,412 --> 00:04:58,809 Wow. 130 00:04:59,214 --> 00:05:02,887 I just thought this would bring out those blue eyes of yours. 131 00:05:02,912 --> 00:05:04,223 - Does it? - Ohh. 132 00:05:04,248 --> 00:05:06,098 I can't see my eyes. 133 00:05:06,130 --> 00:05:08,200 You're adorable. 134 00:05:08,225 --> 00:05:10,676 - Are you seducing me? - I'm trying. 135 00:05:10,701 --> 00:05:12,965 - I can't get you out of my mind. - Oh, boy. 136 00:05:12,990 --> 00:05:14,965 Drinking that slushie. 137 00:05:14,990 --> 00:05:16,825 - So slowly. - Mm-hmm. 138 00:05:16,850 --> 00:05:19,669 Mrs. Skelmersdale, I find your attention very flattering, 139 00:05:19,694 --> 00:05:21,589 but you need to know the truth about me. 140 00:05:21,614 --> 00:05:23,575 I may seem like some gas station Zaddy, 141 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:25,473 but I've done some bad things in my life. 142 00:05:25,498 --> 00:05:27,512 I gambled away my money, committed insurance fraud, 143 00:05:27,537 --> 00:05:28,740 loved two women and lost them both. 144 00:05:28,764 --> 00:05:30,826 Now I live in a barn with a goat that sleeps on my face. 145 00:05:30,850 --> 00:05:32,372 I'm bad news. Do you hear me? 146 00:05:32,397 --> 00:05:34,606 I want to read every page. 147 00:05:34,631 --> 00:05:36,551 I'm finding this banter extremely arousing. 148 00:05:36,576 --> 00:05:38,403 I have a hotel room in Omaha. 149 00:05:38,428 --> 00:05:40,031 I'm not sure I can maintain this level of ardor 150 00:05:40,055 --> 00:05:41,559 for a two-hour drive. 151 00:05:42,111 --> 00:05:44,145 Well, that was a good idea. 152 00:05:44,170 --> 00:05:45,770 I wouldn't have made it to Omaha. 153 00:05:45,795 --> 00:05:46,980 Plus, my shift isn't over, 154 00:05:47,005 --> 00:05:48,903 so it's good I didn't leave the station. 155 00:05:49,959 --> 00:05:53,504 Well, we're gonna have to get you a suit to match this. 156 00:05:54,169 --> 00:05:55,606 I'm gonna have so much fun 157 00:05:55,631 --> 00:05:57,340 making you over. 158 00:05:57,365 --> 00:06:00,372 And I'm glad that there isn't a lot of body hair, 159 00:06:00,397 --> 00:06:03,184 but I think we're gonna have to get rid of what is there. 160 00:06:03,209 --> 00:06:05,146 - Okay. - And there's just one little thing 161 00:06:05,171 --> 00:06:07,216 - that I need from you. - Mm-hmm? 162 00:06:07,622 --> 00:06:09,662 It's a non-disclosure agreement. 163 00:06:09,687 --> 00:06:11,787 You can't talk to anyone about our relationship. 164 00:06:11,812 --> 00:06:13,794 My brand is family-friendly. 165 00:06:13,819 --> 00:06:15,755 I'm not gonna have my personal affairs 166 00:06:15,780 --> 00:06:18,802 splashed all over every tabloid in Nebraska. 167 00:06:18,904 --> 00:06:22,091 Ours will be a secret love, like Romeo and Juliet 168 00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:23,506 or some other couple we never heard of 169 00:06:23,530 --> 00:06:24,770 'cause their love was a secret. 170 00:06:26,340 --> 00:06:27,630 There's my boss coming. 171 00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,357 Act like I just changed the oil. 172 00:06:29,621 --> 00:06:31,091 You have oil in this? 173 00:06:31,116 --> 00:06:32,794 I do now. 174 00:06:33,081 --> 00:06:34,349 Hey, Beau! 175 00:06:34,374 --> 00:06:35,740 Hey, Deb. 176 00:06:36,144 --> 00:06:37,959 Just putting up my storm windows. 177 00:06:37,984 --> 00:06:39,240 Tornado season. 178 00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:40,373 Yeah? What's the point? 179 00:06:40,398 --> 00:06:43,584 I mean, the bank's gonna own this farm next month. 180 00:06:43,756 --> 00:06:47,466 I saw how behind you are on your tractor lease. Eesh. 181 00:06:47,491 --> 00:06:49,413 I guess when you and Kay were contemplating divorce, 182 00:06:49,437 --> 00:06:50,966 no one was watching the farm, huh? 183 00:06:51,217 --> 00:06:52,701 Ruh-roh! 184 00:06:52,726 --> 00:06:54,341 Bye-bye! 185 00:06:54,643 --> 00:06:58,427 One day, all you mail people are gonna be replaced by drones. 186 00:06:58,452 --> 00:07:00,615 Stop flirting with me, Beau! 187 00:07:02,709 --> 00:07:04,061 Well, how am I supposed to harvest 188 00:07:04,085 --> 00:07:06,067 if you take back all my equipment? 189 00:07:06,092 --> 00:07:09,013 I have been a loyal customer for more than 30 years. 190 00:07:09,038 --> 00:07:11,451 Don't do me like this, Dale. Don't... 191 00:07:11,476 --> 00:07:13,074 Who are you talking to? 192 00:07:14,335 --> 00:07:17,990 I have no interest in investing in an adult bookstore. 193 00:07:18,015 --> 00:07:19,459 What?! 194 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,710 Pornographers. 195 00:07:31,999 --> 00:07:33,880 Okay. 196 00:07:35,249 --> 00:07:38,373 Oh. Beau. What are you doing here? 197 00:07:38,398 --> 00:07:40,193 Hey, Mike. I just, uh, came by... 198 00:07:40,218 --> 00:07:43,349 Well, there they are, my two egg boys. 199 00:07:43,374 --> 00:07:44,849 You know what is wild, Mike, 200 00:07:44,874 --> 00:07:47,076 is that Beau came up with the same idea you did. 201 00:07:47,101 --> 00:07:49,046 Did he, now? 202 00:07:49,571 --> 00:07:51,311 - Come on in, Mike. I'll see you first. - Oh, sure. 203 00:07:51,335 --> 00:07:53,373 Let me, uh, give you this. 204 00:07:53,601 --> 00:07:55,615 What a cute little bottle. 205 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,771 Well, I thought to go any bigger would be tacky. 206 00:08:01,367 --> 00:08:04,107 What's taking those two pinheads so long upstairs? 207 00:08:04,132 --> 00:08:06,366 'Cause this is disrespectful to your mother, making her wait. 208 00:08:06,390 --> 00:08:07,951 I told them I needed to talk to them. 209 00:08:07,976 --> 00:08:09,496 You know what you should do? You should use this. 210 00:08:09,520 --> 00:08:10,927 This is a massager. 211 00:08:10,952 --> 00:08:13,169 Oh, can I take this and rub it on my butt 212 00:08:13,194 --> 00:08:14,584 and then rub it in Janine's face? 213 00:08:14,609 --> 00:08:17,341 No, woman. Put it on your body. 214 00:08:18,069 --> 00:08:19,974 This isn't gonna work. You know that, right? 215 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,357 Ohhh! 216 00:08:21,382 --> 00:08:22,849 - What is that? - Okay. 217 00:08:22,874 --> 00:08:24,990 - How's it not work... - Oh, God. This is so dumb. 218 00:08:25,015 --> 00:08:26,388 I hate it. 219 00:08:26,707 --> 00:08:27,892 Ahhhhh. 220 00:08:27,917 --> 00:08:29,654 I'm gonna go check on the kids. 221 00:08:29,679 --> 00:08:31,451 Really, really dumb. 222 00:08:31,734 --> 00:08:33,888 I love you so much. This isn't gross at all. 223 00:08:33,913 --> 00:08:36,201 Guys? Hello? Are you okay? 224 00:08:36,226 --> 00:08:37,498 Yeah, um... 225 00:08:37,523 --> 00:08:39,042 This has been happening a lot lately. 226 00:08:39,067 --> 00:08:41,091 I-I think that her anger at my mom 227 00:08:41,116 --> 00:08:42,843 is making her sick every morning. 228 00:08:42,868 --> 00:08:43,936 I don't know what it's called. 229 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:46,357 It's like some kind of... morning sickness. 230 00:08:49,970 --> 00:08:51,857 Could you bring a scrunchie? 231 00:08:52,557 --> 00:08:54,963 Ooh, Mama. 232 00:08:55,609 --> 00:08:56,841 Kay. Kay. 233 00:08:56,866 --> 00:08:58,377 - Oh. Hey. Hey. - Um... 234 00:08:58,402 --> 00:09:00,291 This thing is great. 235 00:09:00,316 --> 00:09:01,322 - Is it? - I-I've... 236 00:09:01,347 --> 00:09:04,056 I've never felt more relaxed in my entire life. 237 00:09:04,089 --> 00:09:05,090 - Good. - Yeah, I don't know 238 00:09:05,114 --> 00:09:07,056 what I was so worked up about with Jacob. 239 00:09:07,081 --> 00:09:08,721 - He's just a boy in love. - Yeah, just... 240 00:09:10,198 --> 00:09:11,718 Oh, are you scatting? 241 00:09:11,743 --> 00:09:13,416 Scooby-doo-bop! Scooby-doo-bop! 242 00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:16,010 I like that you're in this space. 243 00:09:16,035 --> 00:09:18,322 I have some neutral news 244 00:09:18,347 --> 00:09:20,697 that really shouldn't affect this beautiful composure 245 00:09:20,722 --> 00:09:21,971 that you're experiencing right now. 246 00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,556 Hit me. Whatever it is, I'm at peace. 247 00:09:23,581 --> 00:09:25,095 Yeah. Okay, cool. Um... 248 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:27,025 - Janine might be pregnant. - What?! 249 00:09:28,013 --> 00:09:30,075 - Might. - What?! 250 00:09:30,928 --> 00:09:33,061 Stop it! Down! Woman! 251 00:09:33,195 --> 00:09:36,678 So the doctor says, "Rectum? I damn near killed him!" 252 00:09:37,890 --> 00:09:40,193 That's even funnier the second time. 253 00:09:40,218 --> 00:09:41,529 - Okay. - I'll see you later. 254 00:09:41,554 --> 00:09:44,287 - Alright. - Okay. 255 00:09:46,305 --> 00:09:48,084 Hey! Beau? 256 00:09:48,203 --> 00:09:50,717 Hey, man. No hard feelings, right? 257 00:09:50,742 --> 00:09:53,482 Oh, no. Very hard feelings. It's on. 258 00:09:53,507 --> 00:09:56,311 Dolores is coming to my farm on Tuesday, and I'm gonna win. 259 00:09:56,336 --> 00:09:58,951 Okay, well, she's gonna see my farm on Tuesday, too. 260 00:09:58,976 --> 00:09:59,976 - Okay? - Ooh, ahh. 261 00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:01,373 - But we're still friends. - No. 262 00:10:01,398 --> 00:10:03,225 - We're... We're like gladiators. - Mnh-mnh. 263 00:10:03,250 --> 00:10:04,702 One day, we fight it out in the ring. 264 00:10:04,726 --> 00:10:06,865 Next day, we... We go to the gym together. 265 00:10:06,890 --> 00:10:09,139 No, no, no, no, no. One of us has to die. 266 00:10:09,164 --> 00:10:11,209 That's how gladiators work. 267 00:10:12,115 --> 00:10:13,686 - Unh! - You... Ohh, ohh! 268 00:10:17,274 --> 00:10:18,668 Let's go. 269 00:10:18,693 --> 00:10:20,490 - Let's do this. - Come on. 270 00:10:21,794 --> 00:10:23,826 I'm only gonna ask you this once. 271 00:10:23,851 --> 00:10:25,467 How many times did you have sex? 272 00:10:25,492 --> 00:10:27,178 - Twice. - Zero times. 273 00:10:27,566 --> 00:10:31,186 Okay, guys, we've got zero and two times. 274 00:10:31,211 --> 00:10:33,585 Those are two different answers. We're gonna need some details. 275 00:10:33,609 --> 00:10:35,342 Just... I mean, not too many details. 276 00:10:35,367 --> 00:10:38,092 Just the minimum amount of details required to answer the question. 277 00:10:38,117 --> 00:10:39,490 It was just once, 278 00:10:39,515 --> 00:10:41,771 but we took a really long break in the middle. 279 00:10:41,796 --> 00:10:45,717 Yeah, and it wasn't completely 100% all the way. 280 00:10:46,484 --> 00:10:49,123 But then it kind of... It kind of was 100%. 281 00:10:49,447 --> 00:10:51,053 Do you know what 100% means? 282 00:10:51,078 --> 00:10:53,732 - Um... - 'Cause I don't know what 100% means! 283 00:10:53,757 --> 00:10:56,061 Hold that. Hold that. So, get us up to speed. 284 00:10:56,086 --> 00:10:58,022 Can you unpack that a little bit? 285 00:10:58,047 --> 00:10:59,748 Yeah, okay. Um... 286 00:10:59,773 --> 00:11:01,793 So, Janine was wearing this really thin blouse... 287 00:11:01,818 --> 00:11:03,123 Okay, fast-forward. 288 00:11:03,148 --> 00:11:04,826 And then we got ice cream after. 289 00:11:04,851 --> 00:11:06,498 Jacob needed to get his blood sugar up. 290 00:11:06,523 --> 00:11:08,405 My legs were so weak, I could barely walk. 291 00:11:08,429 --> 00:11:12,357 Guys, when you say that it wasn't 100%, 292 00:11:12,382 --> 00:11:13,483 - but it also was... - Mm-hmm. 293 00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,277 that's where we're getting, like, a little muddled. 294 00:11:15,301 --> 00:11:17,623 I just... I don't really know how to explain it. 295 00:11:17,711 --> 00:11:20,451 You know, it's like when you're at the community pool 296 00:11:20,476 --> 00:11:23,271 and you dip your toe in the water to feel if it's cold. 297 00:11:23,743 --> 00:11:25,889 But it was not cold. 298 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,998 It was not cold at all. 299 00:11:28,023 --> 00:11:29,943 Then we totally did it 100%. 300 00:11:29,968 --> 00:11:32,146 - But only for a second. - Well... 301 00:11:32,171 --> 00:11:34,662 I think it's coming into... To focus a little bit, right? 302 00:11:34,687 --> 00:11:36,014 So, they did have sex, 303 00:11:36,039 --> 00:11:38,162 but it seems that it was only for one second, 304 00:11:38,187 --> 00:11:40,834 but it was, during that one second, 100%. 305 00:11:41,733 --> 00:11:43,357 This is a nightmare. 306 00:11:44,641 --> 00:11:45,857 Oh, my God. 307 00:11:45,882 --> 00:11:48,006 I sincerely hope your day was better than mine. 308 00:11:48,031 --> 00:11:49,217 How was your presentation? 309 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,209 You know what? I think it was... it was likely 310 00:11:51,234 --> 00:11:53,146 the... the best presentation of my whole life. 311 00:11:53,171 --> 00:11:54,225 - Really? - Uh, yes. 312 00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:56,709 But then some S. O. B. by the name of Beau 313 00:11:56,734 --> 00:11:58,272 showed up to try to take the job from me! 314 00:11:58,296 --> 00:12:00,250 - He did what? - The job I created. 315 00:12:00,275 --> 00:12:02,102 I did all the work. It was my idea. 316 00:12:02,127 --> 00:12:03,650 - I thought we were friends. - Beau s... 317 00:12:03,674 --> 00:12:04,675 - You are friends. - I really thought... 318 00:12:04,699 --> 00:12:05,728 I thought we had a breakthrough. 319 00:12:05,752 --> 00:12:08,289 Come to find out... no, no. No, he's a backstabber. 320 00:12:08,314 --> 00:12:09,742 He wants to play dirty, guess what. 321 00:12:09,767 --> 00:12:11,391 I'll tear down his whole operation. 322 00:12:11,416 --> 00:12:13,345 Can I tell you the worst part of this whole thing? 323 00:12:13,369 --> 00:12:15,139 He doesn't even feel guilty. 324 00:12:16,931 --> 00:12:18,531 Oh, God! 325 00:12:18,556 --> 00:12:20,211 - Oh, oh, God! - Beau, we have to talk. 326 00:12:20,236 --> 00:12:22,024 I am freaking out! 327 00:12:22,049 --> 00:12:24,849 Oh, God. How can you even be in here? It reeks. 328 00:12:24,874 --> 00:12:26,643 Smells the same way it always does. 329 00:12:27,018 --> 00:12:29,193 Are you crying? What's wrong? 330 00:12:31,056 --> 00:12:32,568 I went to the pitch. 331 00:12:32,593 --> 00:12:33,778 And? 332 00:12:34,243 --> 00:12:35,935 When I showed up, Mike was there, 333 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,854 trying to steal the job out from under me. 334 00:12:38,024 --> 00:12:39,576 Son of a biscuit! 335 00:12:39,601 --> 00:12:41,381 What kind of lowlife steals a job 336 00:12:41,406 --> 00:12:43,638 right from under his best friend?! 337 00:12:43,987 --> 00:12:46,506 Maybe he's hard up for cash. 338 00:12:47,446 --> 00:12:49,670 Maybe he's ashamed. 339 00:12:49,932 --> 00:12:51,943 God knows what he's going through! 340 00:12:51,968 --> 00:12:53,195 We got to win this thing. 341 00:12:53,220 --> 00:12:54,698 We're gonna take it from him 342 00:12:54,723 --> 00:12:55,921 'cause we're gonna need that income. 343 00:12:55,945 --> 00:12:57,047 Janine might be pregnant. 344 00:12:57,072 --> 00:12:59,226 - What?! - Yeah. That's what I said. 345 00:12:59,251 --> 00:13:01,132 Okay, Jacob can't support a family. 346 00:13:01,157 --> 00:13:02,968 He can barely support his head. 347 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:07,968 How can you be sold out of chicken feed? 348 00:13:07,993 --> 00:13:10,156 Because someone else bought it all? 349 00:13:16,903 --> 00:13:18,340 Alright. 350 00:13:20,686 --> 00:13:21,910 Uh... 351 00:13:22,107 --> 00:13:23,254 Rudy, what the hell happened 352 00:13:23,279 --> 00:13:24,591 to all the chicken feed I got this morning? 353 00:13:24,615 --> 00:13:26,785 Beau said he'd unload it. Said you wouldn't mind. 354 00:13:26,810 --> 00:13:28,652 Which is odd, 'cause personally, I would mind, 355 00:13:28,677 --> 00:13:29,997 'cause what are the chickens gonna eat? 356 00:13:30,021 --> 00:13:31,121 Where'd he unload it? 357 00:13:33,328 --> 00:13:34,556 Oh, ho, ho! 358 00:13:34,581 --> 00:13:37,296 Beau, you son of a biscuit! 359 00:13:38,012 --> 00:13:39,656 This is kidnapping! 360 00:13:39,681 --> 00:13:41,492 You don't deserve these hens, Beau! 361 00:13:41,517 --> 00:13:42,890 Chicken thief! 362 00:13:42,915 --> 00:13:44,560 Get back here! 363 00:13:50,190 --> 00:13:51,588 Go get 'em, Lil' Beau. 364 00:13:52,626 --> 00:13:54,869 This rooster can go all night. 365 00:13:54,894 --> 00:13:56,064 Enjoy. 366 00:13:56,089 --> 00:13:58,359 Okay, this is an absolute disaster. 367 00:13:58,384 --> 00:14:00,410 We can't have a rooster in here with our girls! 368 00:14:00,435 --> 00:14:02,503 - Where is the... - Oh! This guy. 369 00:14:02,528 --> 00:14:04,550 Oh, you are going back to Beau and Kay's. 370 00:14:04,575 --> 00:14:05,599 - How dare you. - We'll see how funny... 371 00:14:05,623 --> 00:14:07,067 Only one papa in this roost. 372 00:14:07,092 --> 00:14:09,293 No... no... Get him! He's gonna fertilize all the eggs! 373 00:14:09,318 --> 00:14:11,215 - Catch him! Catch him! - I'm getting it! 374 00:14:12,313 --> 00:14:15,371 We have to discuss how crazy our husbands are being right now. 375 00:14:15,396 --> 00:14:16,418 Who cares about them? 376 00:14:16,443 --> 00:14:18,942 I'm... I'm out of my mind about Jacob and Janine. 377 00:14:19,427 --> 00:14:20,981 Does it stink in here? 378 00:14:21,006 --> 00:14:22,434 What is that smell? 379 00:14:22,459 --> 00:14:23,755 - What are you talking about? - Oh, my God, 380 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:25,356 I hope Jacob didn't save a baby bird 381 00:14:25,381 --> 00:14:27,067 and forget about it under the sink again. 382 00:14:27,092 --> 00:14:28,114 - He does that? - Mm-hmm. 383 00:14:28,139 --> 00:14:29,449 I don't smell anything. 384 00:14:29,474 --> 00:14:31,543 Does sleeping too much make you sensitive to smells? 385 00:14:31,568 --> 00:14:33,463 Because I've been getting like 12 hours a night. 386 00:14:33,488 --> 00:14:34,841 I mean, unless you're a Hamptons housewife 387 00:14:34,865 --> 00:14:36,052 or you ate a big bowl of spaghetti, 388 00:14:36,076 --> 00:14:38,106 that is, like, entirely too much sleep. 389 00:14:38,131 --> 00:14:39,731 I'm just exhausted, you know? 390 00:14:39,756 --> 00:14:42,989 Between Beau and the chickens and Jacob and that idiot 391 00:14:43,014 --> 00:14:44,739 who can't even tell she's knocked up... 392 00:14:48,946 --> 00:14:49,965 Can I say something? 393 00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,262 No, no, don't say it. 394 00:14:51,287 --> 00:14:52,340 You might be pregnant. 395 00:14:52,365 --> 00:14:53,801 I said not to say it. 396 00:14:54,067 --> 00:14:55,415 No, I'm not pregnant. 397 00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,161 I just swallowed a horsefly while mowing the lawn. 398 00:14:57,185 --> 00:14:58,442 - Okay. - Move! 399 00:14:58,467 --> 00:14:59,793 What are you doing? Aw, man. 400 00:15:00,294 --> 00:15:01,825 Janine, good to see you. 401 00:15:01,850 --> 00:15:03,771 Have you bought a pregnancy test yet, like I told you? 402 00:15:03,795 --> 00:15:06,543 I can't just go to the store and buy one of those. 403 00:15:06,568 --> 00:15:07,598 God will see. 404 00:15:07,623 --> 00:15:09,082 - "God will see"? - Shh! 405 00:15:09,107 --> 00:15:10,989 He's probably watching right now. 406 00:15:11,014 --> 00:15:13,590 He's allowed to watch you in the bathroom, like a doctor. 407 00:15:13,615 --> 00:15:14,645 What is wrong with her? 408 00:15:14,670 --> 00:15:16,388 Kay, you need to buy this woman a pregnancy test. 409 00:15:16,412 --> 00:15:17,427 You need to buy yourself one, too. 410 00:15:17,451 --> 00:15:19,817 Rio, are you crazy? We live in a small town! 411 00:15:19,842 --> 00:15:22,362 I can't just waltz into Connie's a buy a pregnancy test. 412 00:15:22,387 --> 00:15:24,629 Everyone will be talking about it before sunset. 413 00:15:24,654 --> 00:15:28,035 Fine! I'm gonna go buy you guys both a pregnancy test. 414 00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:30,090 Nobody pee until I come back. 415 00:15:30,115 --> 00:15:31,590 This is a puke-only toilet. 416 00:15:32,740 --> 00:15:33,895 Great. 417 00:15:35,008 --> 00:15:37,559 Oh, my gosh. You're pregnant? 418 00:15:37,584 --> 00:15:38,817 No. Oh, no, no, no. It's... 419 00:15:38,842 --> 00:15:40,981 Rio is pregnant, and Mike is not the father. 420 00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,700 - Okay... What? - Oh, yes! 421 00:15:42,725 --> 00:15:43,746 W-Wait, what?! 422 00:15:43,771 --> 00:15:45,293 No. Mike is the father. 423 00:15:45,318 --> 00:15:46,513 No, he's not! I'm not pregnant! 424 00:15:46,537 --> 00:15:48,811 I don't know what... This is ridiculous. Here. Never mind. 425 00:15:48,835 --> 00:15:50,950 I don't even know why... This is one of... 426 00:15:50,975 --> 00:15:52,028 Oh, my God! Rudy! 427 00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:54,020 Congratulations. 428 00:15:54,045 --> 00:15:55,209 Do you know who the father is? 429 00:15:55,233 --> 00:15:56,310 Rudy! 430 00:15:56,525 --> 00:15:58,076 - I'm the father? - No! 431 00:15:58,101 --> 00:15:59,912 Guys, cool it! 432 00:16:00,366 --> 00:16:01,678 Hello, Constance. 433 00:16:01,703 --> 00:16:03,100 You... You look dapper. 434 00:16:03,125 --> 00:16:04,394 Here's a $100 bill. 435 00:16:04,419 --> 00:16:06,029 Don't ask me where it came from. 436 00:16:06,054 --> 00:16:07,944 Rudy, you can tell me anything. 437 00:16:07,969 --> 00:16:09,334 Are you gambling again? 438 00:16:09,359 --> 00:16:10,834 No, never. 439 00:16:10,859 --> 00:16:12,462 I mean, only in the game of love. 440 00:16:12,830 --> 00:16:14,171 I wish I could tell you more than that. 441 00:16:14,195 --> 00:16:16,397 W-Well, you can. I could help you. 442 00:16:16,422 --> 00:16:19,678 Rudy! I have henhouses to inspect. 443 00:16:20,072 --> 00:16:21,365 Huh. 444 00:16:21,390 --> 00:16:23,006 I wonder who that woman is. 445 00:16:23,226 --> 00:16:25,240 Better go find out how she knows my name. 446 00:16:30,742 --> 00:16:32,436 Oh, you get me! 447 00:16:32,884 --> 00:16:35,756 But you know what? I still have to check out the Levine-Youngs'. 448 00:16:35,781 --> 00:16:39,217 But I have to say that you have a very impressive operation. 449 00:16:39,242 --> 00:16:40,490 That's what the sheep said. 450 00:16:40,515 --> 00:16:41,928 You're awful! 451 00:16:41,953 --> 00:16:43,608 Just stop it! 452 00:16:44,797 --> 00:16:47,609 Dolores hasn't made up her mind yet, but I have a feeling. 453 00:16:47,634 --> 00:16:50,623 Put on your good bra. We're going to the Sizzler. 454 00:16:50,648 --> 00:16:53,240 Guess it pays to stab your best friend in the back, right? 455 00:16:53,265 --> 00:16:55,410 Oh, no, no, no. Beau didn't stab Mike in the back. 456 00:16:55,435 --> 00:16:58,264 I mean, he came up with the idea to sell to Mrs. Skillet's first. 457 00:16:58,289 --> 00:16:59,851 - Right, Beau? - This whole thing started 458 00:16:59,875 --> 00:17:01,057 because you stole his idea. 459 00:17:01,082 --> 00:17:02,807 Tell her that's not true, Beau. 460 00:17:04,118 --> 00:17:06,003 Well, I... 461 00:17:08,573 --> 00:17:09,800 It's true. 462 00:17:10,044 --> 00:17:11,846 I stole Mike's idea. 463 00:17:11,871 --> 00:17:13,651 And I lied to you about it. 464 00:17:13,676 --> 00:17:15,690 - Wha... - I broke your trust. 465 00:17:15,715 --> 00:17:18,901 I'm sorry. I-I-I-I-I hate myself, alright? 466 00:17:18,926 --> 00:17:20,175 - Oh, don't... - So, let... 467 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,659 I'm just gonna go lay naked in the gravel driveway 468 00:17:23,684 --> 00:17:25,537 and cover myself in hot mustard 469 00:17:25,562 --> 00:17:27,373 and let the birds peck at my flesh. 470 00:17:27,398 --> 00:17:28,596 It's the least I can do. 471 00:17:28,621 --> 00:17:30,315 Just tell me why you did it. 472 00:17:30,340 --> 00:17:32,193 'Cause I needed the money. 473 00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:34,604 - We're almost broke. - What... 474 00:17:34,895 --> 00:17:36,862 I-I should have kept a closer eye on things. 475 00:17:36,887 --> 00:17:39,878 When we got separated, I-I-I-I dropped the ball. 476 00:17:39,903 --> 00:17:42,425 I know you hate me right now, and I get it. 477 00:17:42,486 --> 00:17:45,471 Go ahead. Kick me in the nards. 478 00:17:45,825 --> 00:17:48,573 Heel-stomp my grapes until they make wine. 479 00:17:49,785 --> 00:17:51,393 Um, listen to me. 480 00:17:52,449 --> 00:17:54,677 I don't want to hurt you. I love you. 481 00:17:54,702 --> 00:17:56,620 I don't know why. 482 00:17:56,645 --> 00:17:58,373 I don't deserve your love. 483 00:17:58,398 --> 00:18:00,589 Of course you do, you buttface. 484 00:18:00,927 --> 00:18:03,323 Hey, we're in this together, okay? 485 00:18:03,348 --> 00:18:04,956 A year ago, yeah, sure, 486 00:18:04,981 --> 00:18:06,464 we'd never tell each other anything, 487 00:18:06,489 --> 00:18:09,198 but now we're open, we're honest. 488 00:18:09,368 --> 00:18:11,138 We tell each other everything. 489 00:18:11,163 --> 00:18:12,891 Oh, God. 490 00:18:12,916 --> 00:18:14,010 No. 491 00:18:15,227 --> 00:18:17,191 Guys, come on. You both have to take a pregnancy test. 492 00:18:17,215 --> 00:18:18,690 No, she does. I'm not pregnant. 493 00:18:18,715 --> 00:18:20,590 You just want me to take a test so I'll go to hell. 494 00:18:20,614 --> 00:18:21,878 If this condemns you to hell, 495 00:18:21,903 --> 00:18:23,207 that means I'm gonna see you there, because you know what? 496 00:18:23,231 --> 00:18:24,980 I've peed on literally hundreds of these tests before. 497 00:18:25,004 --> 00:18:26,847 - Hundreds?! Goodness, Rio. - You thought you were pregnant 498 00:18:26,871 --> 00:18:28,612 - a lot of times. - That's a ton of sex. 499 00:18:28,637 --> 00:18:30,980 Is it gonna make you feel better? I will do one with you right now. 500 00:18:31,004 --> 00:18:32,745 Come on. Up and at 'em. Let's make it rain. 501 00:18:32,770 --> 00:18:34,393 Look alive. Here we go. 502 00:18:34,418 --> 00:18:37,057 You didn't have to prepare me a whole meal. 503 00:18:37,082 --> 00:18:39,003 An egg's an egg. 504 00:18:45,677 --> 00:18:47,554 Oh, my God. 505 00:18:50,434 --> 00:18:53,005 This is the best egg I've ever had. 506 00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:55,706 Oh, is that good to hear! 507 00:18:55,731 --> 00:18:58,721 I have put so much work into these, and I just... I really... 508 00:18:58,746 --> 00:18:59,973 It's really important to me... 509 00:18:59,998 --> 00:19:02,917 Oh, no, no. You don't need to do that. 510 00:19:09,484 --> 00:19:12,409 I made my mind up before I came over here, 511 00:19:13,018 --> 00:19:15,550 but you have really surprised me. 512 00:19:15,575 --> 00:19:18,706 You have surprised me. I've... I've never seen that. 513 00:19:18,731 --> 00:19:21,776 Uh, c-can I get you something to... to wash that down with? 514 00:19:21,820 --> 00:19:23,612 Mnh-mnh. 515 00:19:24,438 --> 00:19:26,682 So, what am I looking for here? 516 00:19:26,707 --> 00:19:28,807 - And why is yours so wet? - What? 517 00:19:28,832 --> 00:19:30,378 Good Lord! Rio! 518 00:19:30,403 --> 00:19:32,940 You can't score extra credit on a pregnancy test. 519 00:19:32,965 --> 00:19:34,573 I refuse to be criticized right now 520 00:19:34,598 --> 00:19:36,096 for my aim and hydration. 521 00:19:36,121 --> 00:19:37,871 Alright, well, these results may take a while. 522 00:19:37,895 --> 00:19:39,456 These expired in '07. 523 00:19:39,481 --> 00:19:41,854 That's alright. We're gonna wait here, ladies. 524 00:19:41,879 --> 00:19:44,104 We got all the time in the world. 525 00:19:45,788 --> 00:19:49,010 Hey, uh, I was hoping we could talk. 526 00:19:49,035 --> 00:19:50,284 I got news for you. 527 00:19:50,309 --> 00:19:51,917 Unless something crazy happens, 528 00:19:51,942 --> 00:19:54,331 looks like Mrs. Skillet's gonna go with my eggs. 529 00:19:54,356 --> 00:19:57,018 So, all that backstabbing, that was for nothing. 530 00:19:57,043 --> 00:19:59,823 No one wants your eggs, and no one wants your friendship. 531 00:19:59,848 --> 00:20:01,378 I deserve that. 532 00:20:01,645 --> 00:20:04,784 But just know no one hates Beau Bowman 533 00:20:04,809 --> 00:20:06,573 as much as Beau Bowman hates Beau Bowman. 534 00:20:06,598 --> 00:20:07,854 Well, you are kidding yourself, 535 00:20:07,879 --> 00:20:10,292 because Mike Levine-Young hates Beau Bowman way worse 536 00:20:10,317 --> 00:20:11,671 than Beau Bowman hates Beau Bowman. 537 00:20:11,695 --> 00:20:13,714 Oh, yeah? Well, what Mike Levine-Young 538 00:20:13,739 --> 00:20:15,651 needs to know is that Beau Bowman... 539 00:20:15,876 --> 00:20:17,987 Can we go back to using pronouns? 540 00:20:21,793 --> 00:20:23,105 Does that mean we're all pregnant? 541 00:20:23,129 --> 00:20:24,551 No, no, no. That's the tornado siren. 542 00:20:24,575 --> 00:20:26,346 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - A tornado, like, warning, 543 00:20:26,370 --> 00:20:28,315 or, like, a tornado's happening right now? 544 00:20:28,340 --> 00:20:30,245 Like, get to the shelter, Dorothy, 545 00:20:30,270 --> 00:20:33,159 because in real life, you don't go to Oz, okay? 546 00:20:33,184 --> 00:20:34,635 Your face gets planted in a tree. 547 00:20:34,660 --> 00:20:35,660 - Get inside! - Alright! 548 00:20:35,685 --> 00:20:37,651 I'll be in the basement! Good luck getting home! 549 00:20:37,676 --> 00:20:39,925 I'm not going home, unless it's to Jesus! 550 00:20:39,957 --> 00:20:41,465 We got to get to the basement. Let's go. 551 00:20:41,489 --> 00:20:42,519 Wait, wait, I don't want this. 552 00:20:42,543 --> 00:20:44,112 - Okay, o-okay, um... - Well, me either. 553 00:20:44,137 --> 00:20:46,748 So, you, um, are gonna be in my right pocket. 554 00:20:46,773 --> 00:20:48,126 Kay, you're in my left pocket. 555 00:20:48,150 --> 00:20:50,287 I'll do upper-booby pocket. Okay, good. 556 00:20:50,312 --> 00:20:51,713 Oh, I feel like I got to give this jump suit away. 557 00:20:51,737 --> 00:20:52,758 There's, like, pee all over it. 558 00:20:52,782 --> 00:20:54,507 Hey, go! Go!