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‎NETFLIX 原創影集

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‎親愛的日記

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‎去你媽的

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‎開玩笑的啦

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‎我不知道要在這蠢東西上寫些什麼

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‎總而言之

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‎你好

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‎我叫希妮

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‎我是個平凡無奇的17歲白人少女

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‎我想說的是，我並不特別

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‎這點我也很坦然接受

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‎我們在兩年前搬到賓州

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‎但不是搬到賓州什麼討喜的地方

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‎而是某個鄉村野區

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‎我住的小鎮已經好幾連冠
‎全美空汙最嚴重寶座了

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‎還真令人開心

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‎卡皮奧緹老師要我答應會這麼做

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‎答應我妳會這麼做

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‎她說這對我的情緒可能有幫助

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‎這對妳的情緒可能有幫助

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‎我常常發脾氣

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‎也不是我故意的，但就是會自然流露

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‎因為我爸去年春天過世了

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‎所以我要寫什麼？我不太明白

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‎什麼都行

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‎通通寫進去

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‎想到什麼寫什麼

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‎現在大家都不知道該對我說什麼是好

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‎就當作妳是在跟自己對話

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‎除了妳以外沒人會讀這本日記

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‎連輔導老師也不會

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‎我可以…

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‎用手機寫嗎？

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‎妳不覺得用手機容易分心嗎？

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‎我希望妳用比較…

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‎有治療性的東西

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‎這些事並不容易

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‎但我希望妳至少能去嘗試

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‎試著擁有一些正常的高中經驗

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‎她這個人的確是還可以

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‎雖然她聞起來就是個老嬉皮

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‎總而言之

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‎我就來為正常的高中經驗努力一下吧

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‎不管這他媽的是什麼意思

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‎在興奮狀態下

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‎各方面都會出現上升的情形

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‎包含腎上腺素，當然血流也會變強

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‎血液會繼續下流

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‎然後被鎖在海綿體內

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‎造成陰莖擴張

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‎這就是雄性智人維持勃起的方法

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‎請說

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‎費爾老師，根據我個人經驗

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‎要維持勃起

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‎靠雌性智人的手會比較容易成功

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‎真好笑，路易斯同學

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‎我只是在討論科學而已

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‎我們繼續往下教

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‎當女性感到性興奮時

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‎血流也會更加往生殖器集中…

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‎拜託，紅陰毛

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‎笑一下嘛，明明就很好笑

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‎為什麼會有這種情形？

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‎你的陰囊和別顆長得不一樣

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‎這是顆不對稱陰囊

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‎我最好的朋友是狄娜

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‎她是個狠角色

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‎在一般狀況下
‎我想她不會選我當朋友

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‎不過我們倆是在差不多時間搬到這來

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‎兩個新來的小鬼自然就會湊在一起

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‎我大概是走運了

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‎在認識狄娜前
‎我有事通常都往肚裡吞

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‎我其實不太喜歡吸引他人注意

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‎但她就是有辦法…

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‎她就是能讓我改變心情

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‎我得知爸的事時，她也陪在我身邊

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‎妳準備好了嗎？

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‎她握住我的手

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‎我們一起流淚

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‎在那之後，她一直讓我充滿歡笑

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‎我自己本來只想埋到地底下去

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‎這讓我醒悟到

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‎我以前從來都沒有過摯友

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‎（菲多斯餐廳）

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‎我當時只是沒事站在那邊

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‎他就走過來說
‎“妳這個新來的女生是誰？”

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‎我說：“你少來，我是狄娜啊”

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‎等等，這是布雷路易斯說的？

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‎對

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‎他其實還算可愛

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‎然後他邀我一起參加返校慶

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‎等等，妳接受了嗎？

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‎沒有，我叫他帶著他的八塊肌
‎還有輪廓分明的五官

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‎滾得離我遠遠的

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‎我當然是答應了

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‎天啊，妳跟他做愛了吧？

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‎我的天啊

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‎不會吧！我的天啊

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‎妳跟布雷利路易斯做愛了？

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‎-妳至少有用保險套吧，因為…
‎-當然有用

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‎我知道

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‎狄娜剛拿掉牙套，胸部又突然脹起來

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‎金童布雷利路易斯當然會注意到她

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‎所以你們一轉眼就成為男女朋友嗎？

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‎我們是還沒正式定下來，不過…

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‎我真的很喜歡他，好嗎？

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‎這下真是糟糕透頂

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‎那當然，我明白

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‎給他一次機會嘛

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‎拜託，妳一定也有喜歡的人

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‎只有一點點也好

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‎我也不知道，我大概沒想過這種事

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‎那妳可以開始想想

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‎我們說不定可以一起去返校慶

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‎像四人約會那樣

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‎-寶貝
‎-嘿

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‎對不起，我遲到了

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‎沒關係，寶貝

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‎他們還互叫寶貝

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‎殺了我吧

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‎嘿，希妮

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‎布雷利

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‎妳媽可以請我們吃漢堡嗎？

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‎這裡的漢堡超好吃

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‎她今天沒上班

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‎我只是問問而已

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‎好吧

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‎布雷，你想吃漢堡？那我們去買漢堡

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‎我手邊有點錢

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‎-是嗎？
‎-是啊

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‎-想分著吃嗎？
‎-好

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‎我去拿番茄醬

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‎請便

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‎對了

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‎狄娜真的很棒吧？

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‎拜託，妳有笑過嗎？

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‎今天笑不出來

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‎決定要吃什麼了嗎？

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‎妳點什麼都行

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‎-該停了吧
‎-妳一定要吃這個薯條，寶貝

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‎希望你能給我閉嘴

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‎收起那張蠢臉上自鳴得意的笑容

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‎-天啊
‎-靠

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‎媽的

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‎-你還好吧？
‎-這是怎樣？

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‎我沒事，先別煩我

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‎拿張衛生紙

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‎先別煩我，好嗎？

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‎好，事情是這樣的

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‎我今天差點就說服自己

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‎我讓布雷利路易斯流鼻血

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‎而且只靠了我心靈的力量

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‎還真的咧

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‎我只要別把事情想得太嚴重就好

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‎我不要失去我的首位兼唯一的摯友

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‎我很為狄娜開心

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‎如果和白癡布雷利路易斯交往
‎能讓她開心

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‎那我大概也能接受吧

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‎嘿，希妮

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‎嘿

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‎史丹利巴柏

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‎他跟我住同一條街

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‎我差不多對自己每方面
‎都感到很不滿意

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‎史丹卻是瀟灑大師

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‎我的腳沒感覺了，等我一下

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‎我可以陪妳走走嗎？

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‎好啊，有何不可？

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‎很好

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‎很好

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‎史丹有點奇怪

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‎你還好吧？

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‎誰需要穿鞋啊？

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‎血魔女很棒吧？

174
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‎什麼？

175
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‎血魔女，妳喜歡他們的歌嗎？

176
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‎這個團名真爛

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‎才不爛，簡直十全十美

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‎聽起來一定很爛

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‎我有他們的黑膠唱片

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‎限量版的

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‎精美摺頁包裝

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‎看妳想不想找時間來聽聽看

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‎我們可以一起嗨

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‎我從來沒嗨過

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‎可以啊

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‎妳不用勉強

187
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‎我只是想說我們住這麼近
‎但是卻沒一起玩過

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‎是沒有

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‎不過下次是可以一起玩玩看

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‎好

191
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‎很好

192
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‎那妳再找我

193
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‎我們活在一個很不得了的世界，希妮

194
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‎我和我媽還有我弟一起生活

195
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‎希妮，是妳嗎？

196
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‎媽和我最近處得不太好

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‎不是，我是斧頭殺人魔

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‎幸好妳有開口問

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‎真好笑

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‎凱倫的狗好像撞穿了紗門之類的

201
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‎所以她必須去一趟動物急診

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‎-好
‎-所以我今晚要代她的班

203
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‎這應該不成問題，因為之前
‎連恩亂吃起司那次，我還欠她兩班

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‎謝謝妳跟我分享人生故事，媽

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‎等一下，妳給我回來

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‎我還沒說完，看這邊

207
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‎我有個重大問題要問

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‎妳有看到我的絲襪嗎？

209
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‎本來是掛在浴室的浴簾上面那邊的

210
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‎對不起，我還以為那是髒的

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‎-不是，我是在晾乾
‎-我是在浴缸裡看到的

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‎現在在哪裡？那是我最後一雙了

213
00:10:16,574 --> 00:10:17,534
‎我好像…

214
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,204
‎拿去洗了

215
00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:20,905
‎等等，在洗衣機裡？

216
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:24,165
‎對，最後大概是放到烘乾機，所以…

217
00:10:26,667 --> 00:10:28,537
‎真是太棒了

218
00:10:29,545 --> 00:10:32,415
‎現在我上菜時會感覺跟香腸一樣了

219
00:10:32,506 --> 00:10:35,836
‎妳不一定要穿絲襪吧？早就沒人穿了

220
00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:37,386
‎大概從1990年代就沒人在穿

221
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:41,270
‎妳可以幫我監督連恩
‎做功課跟吃晚餐嗎？

222
00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,602
‎他應該已經夠大，不用人監督了吧？

223
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:49,654
‎希妮，可以拜託妳偶爾乾乾脆脆幫我
‎不要一直質疑東質疑西嗎？

224
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:53,402
‎我還以為我是在討妳開心

225
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:55,106
‎沒有，完全沒有

226
00:10:56,030 --> 00:10:57,870
‎我們在講什麼其實並不重要

227
00:10:58,532 --> 00:11:01,242
‎就算媽和我餘生都沉默以對

228
00:11:01,327 --> 00:11:03,537
‎她還是能讓我感到非常厭煩

229
00:11:09,877 --> 00:11:11,917
‎小可愛，功課寫了嗎？

230
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:12,924
‎好幾小時前就寫了

231
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,089
‎一回家就寫了，妳呢？

232
00:11:17,718 --> 00:11:18,798
‎我晚一點再寫

233
00:11:20,471 --> 00:11:21,351
‎拜託，希妮

234
00:11:21,555 --> 00:11:24,265
‎媽說如果想成功，就要努力上進

235
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:29,731
‎反正我們的計劃
‎一向都是我看著你飛黃騰達

236
00:11:30,314 --> 00:11:31,654
‎世事難料

237
00:11:31,732 --> 00:11:33,942
‎哪天你如果夠努力

238
00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:37,204
‎說不定就能幫我出喪葬費用了

239
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:39,567
‎今天在學校過得如何？

240
00:11:39,657 --> 00:11:40,487
‎這個嘛<i>‎…</i>

241
00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,789
‎理查萊諾往托比嘉納臉上揍了一拳

242
00:11:45,037 --> 00:11:46,827
‎然後他就被叫去卡菲老師的辦公室

243
00:11:46,914 --> 00:11:47,794
‎這樣啊

244
00:11:48,666 --> 00:11:49,996
‎對啊，下次被揍的可能是我

245
00:11:50,084 --> 00:11:52,344
‎所以我設計出一個計劃

246
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:53,300
‎妳看

247
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,590
‎好厲害，小可愛，這是你要穿的嗎？

248
00:11:56,674 --> 00:11:58,094
‎對，由我親自設計

249
00:11:58,509 --> 00:12:01,179
‎胸甲、護脛、尖刺拳套

250
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:03,762
‎不過我還不確定頭盔的樣式

251
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:06,728
‎因為我不想擋到旁邊的視線範圍
‎以防有什麼情形發生

252
00:12:07,435 --> 00:12:09,935
‎真的很酷，這是你最傑出的作品之一

253
00:12:10,020 --> 00:12:11,520
‎對，這基本上就是我的初號機

254
00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,855
‎第一套永遠是最難設計的

255
00:12:13,941 --> 00:12:15,901
‎所以目前還在研發階段

256
00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:18,200
‎不好意思，那詳細計劃是什麼？

257
00:12:18,279 --> 00:12:19,569
‎我要打造出這套裝備

258
00:12:19,655 --> 00:12:21,235
‎然後痛扁理查萊諾一頓

259
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,658
‎原來是要復仇啊

260
00:12:24,076 --> 00:12:24,906
‎我知道了

261
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:29,667
‎我們家

262
00:12:30,249 --> 00:12:31,829
‎我們一向都沒什麼錢

263
00:12:32,293 --> 00:12:33,963
‎我們搬去的每個地方…

264
00:12:34,378 --> 00:12:35,958
‎而且我們已經搬過很多地方

265
00:12:36,046 --> 00:12:37,836
‎每次都是這種地方

266
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,759
‎大概就跟抽獎一樣

267
00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:43,176
‎有些小孩一出生就中頭獎

268
00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:45,512
‎至於我們其他人

269
00:12:46,515 --> 00:12:49,765
‎就只有刮刮樂或瓶蓋抽獎之類的爛貨

270
00:12:58,903 --> 00:12:59,903
‎連恩

271
00:12:59,987 --> 00:13:00,907
‎什麼事？

272
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:05,577
‎要是理查萊諾敢碰你

273
00:13:06,577 --> 00:13:08,697
‎你的裝備又還沒做出來
‎無法痛扁他一頓

274
00:13:10,456 --> 00:13:11,956
‎我會赤手空拳

275
00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:15,422
‎在卡菲老師面前，把他的咽喉扯爛

276
00:13:15,836 --> 00:13:16,666
‎真的嗎？

277
00:13:17,171 --> 00:13:18,801
‎真的，像這樣

278
00:13:20,216 --> 00:13:21,676
‎妳好奇怪

279
00:13:22,092 --> 00:13:23,092
‎對啊，我知道

280
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:27,264
‎好吧，我要自白

281
00:13:27,681 --> 00:13:29,931
‎我的大腿開始長出這些痘痘

282
00:13:30,017 --> 00:13:32,017
‎我真的超級噁心

283
00:13:40,861 --> 00:13:43,701
‎我已經試過防痘軟膏
‎還有肥皂之類的各種垃圾

284
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:45,071
‎一點幫助也沒有

285
00:13:45,741 --> 00:13:47,411
‎而且擠痘痘根本也沒那麼好玩

286
00:13:48,327 --> 00:13:49,537
‎別滴了！

287
00:13:52,289 --> 00:13:54,209
‎大概只是因為青春期的關係

288
00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:56,628
‎我也不知道

289
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:17,399
‎史丹利巴柏傳訊息給我

290
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,477
‎他逼我聽血魔女的歌

291
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:05,605
‎偶爾在晚上的時候

292
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,818
‎我會想要摸自己

293
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:10,239
‎不過我還是沒摸

294
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:14,712
‎花生醬有助於分心

295
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,545
‎媽越晚回家，就會喝越多酒

296
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,466
‎現在是在看什麼？

297
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,388
‎不知道

298
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:35,642
‎爸在地下室自殺後
‎我們一直都沒談過他的事

299
00:15:36,143 --> 00:15:37,523
‎冷氣壞了

300
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:41,233
‎零件大概過熱了

301
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,654
‎這間房子熱死了

302
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,860
‎開窗戶啊

303
00:15:46,195 --> 00:15:49,405
‎我們都太怕談起這件沉重的事

304
00:15:49,823 --> 00:15:50,953
‎我被叫到…

305
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:53,584
‎輔導老師的辦公室

306
00:15:54,161 --> 00:15:55,621
‎為什麼？妳做了什麼？

307
00:15:55,704 --> 00:15:56,584
‎什麼都沒做

308
00:15:58,040 --> 00:15:59,120
‎她只是…

309
00:16:01,377 --> 00:16:05,127
‎她想要我有個宣洩出口

310
00:16:06,507 --> 00:16:07,967
‎要宣洩什麼？

311
00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,433
‎有時候我會覺得…

312
00:16:20,604 --> 00:16:22,694
‎我愛的人並不愛我

313
00:16:25,818 --> 00:16:26,778
‎這個嘛…

314
00:16:28,404 --> 00:16:30,664
‎可能是妳的期望太高了，寶貝

315
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:43,625
‎她有時候真的很賤

316
00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,589
‎要是爸就會明白

317
00:16:46,380 --> 00:16:47,460
‎但是他上吊自殺了

318
00:16:47,881 --> 00:16:49,221
‎所以我大概只能依靠自己

319
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:57,434
‎有時候我會去想他自殺的原因

320
00:16:57,975 --> 00:16:59,765
‎以及我們為什麼不願談這件事

321
00:17:01,895 --> 00:17:03,855
‎還有我身上到底出了什麼事

322
00:17:05,733 --> 00:17:08,823
‎為什麼有時候我會覺得五內沸騰

323
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:13,116
‎說不定…

324
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,416
‎我的毛病比我想的還嚴重得多

325
00:18:45,457 --> 00:18:46,877
‎字幕翻譯：韓仁耀