1 00:00:05,922 --> 00:00:07,215 - [panting] - [running footsteps] 2 00:00:07,298 --> 00:00:08,341 [siren wailing] 3 00:00:09,884 --> 00:00:11,219 [Sydney] Dear Diary, 4 00:00:11,886 --> 00:00:13,930 happy fucking Friday. 5 00:00:14,014 --> 00:00:16,683 - ["I Remember Lucy" by Thunderboots plays] - ♪ This time ♪ 6 00:00:16,766 --> 00:00:18,893 ♪ Make no mistakes ♪ 7 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:24,524 ♪ Keep all your secrets Locked up in your heart safe ♪ 8 00:00:27,944 --> 00:00:28,987 [sighs] 9 00:00:34,409 --> 00:00:35,910 - [Liam] Hey, Syd. - Hm? 10 00:00:35,994 --> 00:00:38,621 Do you think Banana Wigglesworth knows he's a hedgehog? 11 00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:41,082 And if he does, do you think he likes being one? 12 00:00:41,166 --> 00:00:44,961 Goob, trust me, Banana's proud to be a hedgehog. 13 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:46,045 No question. 14 00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:47,130 [squeaking] 15 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:49,716 [Sydney] Last night, I almost convinced myself 16 00:00:49,799 --> 00:00:52,677 that I cracked the wall in my bedroom without touching it. 17 00:00:52,761 --> 00:00:55,764 Mom says if you stare at the toaster too long, it'll never pop. 18 00:00:55,847 --> 00:00:58,207 But that's just what happens when you live in a shitty house 19 00:00:58,266 --> 00:00:59,768 with a shitty foundation. 20 00:00:59,851 --> 00:01:01,227 Stuff starts to crack. 21 00:01:01,311 --> 00:01:07,275 Yeah, well, see, what Mom doesn't know is that I can do stuff with my mind. 22 00:01:07,734 --> 00:01:09,736 Cool! Can I see? 23 00:01:10,320 --> 00:01:13,073 ♪ This time, make no mistake ♪ 24 00:01:13,740 --> 00:01:17,535 ♪ Keep all your secrets Locked up in your heart safe... ♪ 25 00:01:17,619 --> 00:01:18,828 - [Liam gasps] - [Sydney] Whoa! 26 00:01:18,912 --> 00:01:19,996 Whoa! 27 00:01:20,622 --> 00:01:22,665 Didn't you wear that sweater yesterday? 28 00:01:23,249 --> 00:01:24,584 [Sydney] Yeah, Mom. I did. 29 00:01:25,043 --> 00:01:26,544 'Cause I'm disgusting. 30 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:27,837 [chuckling] Oh. 31 00:01:27,921 --> 00:01:30,590 Listen, I need you to do some shopping for me today 32 00:01:30,673 --> 00:01:32,926 'cause we're about to run out of everything. 33 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,428 - No thanks. - I wasn't asking. 34 00:01:36,304 --> 00:01:39,849 - How am I supposed to bring all this home? - However you got it home last time. 35 00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:44,687 In exchange for... sexual favors with strangers. Got it. 36 00:01:45,188 --> 00:01:46,231 Hilarious. 37 00:01:48,358 --> 00:01:49,818 Hey, change your sweater. 38 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:51,360 Sydney. 39 00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,696 You're making me look like a bad mom. 40 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:56,241 And I'm a friggin' good mom! 41 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:57,325 [door slams] 42 00:02:00,453 --> 00:02:03,540 Grocery shopping. This is my life. 43 00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:07,210 Meanwhile, Dina's dating Brad and all I've got is... 44 00:02:07,293 --> 00:02:08,293 [Stanley] Hey, Syd! 45 00:02:08,545 --> 00:02:09,545 Hey. 46 00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,506 [grinding] 47 00:02:11,589 --> 00:02:13,091 [song playing on car stereo] 48 00:02:13,174 --> 00:02:14,801 ♪ Hey, little girl ♪ 49 00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:17,262 ♪ You wanna cut me off ♪ 50 00:02:17,345 --> 00:02:19,514 - [creaking] - ♪ Hey, little girl ♪ 51 00:02:20,390 --> 00:02:22,308 - ♪ Hey, little girl ♪ - [squealing] 52 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:25,145 - ♪ I'm really likin' your fringe ♪ - Hey. 53 00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,688 - ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ - Hey. 54 00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,065 - You goin' to school? - ♪ Hey, little girl ♪ 55 00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:30,150 - Yup. - Yeah. 56 00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:32,277 - ♪ You really got me shy, hey ♪ - Yeah, me too. 57 00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:36,239 ♪ Hey, little girl ♪ 58 00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,117 ♪ I hope you're goin' my way ♪ 59 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:40,493 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 60 00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:45,373 ♪ We can meet up after school and ♪ 61 00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:47,709 ♪ Hang out at the park ♪ 62 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:52,630 ♪ Don't let the June go Pretty please, now... ♪ 63 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:56,801 Can you believe some people are already asking dates to homecoming? 64 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,095 So stupid. It's so far away. 65 00:02:59,179 --> 00:03:00,847 Huh! [chuckles] 66 00:03:00,930 --> 00:03:02,348 Yeah, totally. 67 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:03,849 Super far. 68 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,102 Like... like a whole week. 69 00:03:13,484 --> 00:03:15,445 [woman] Let's go, girls. Get up. 70 00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:18,406 Well, I hate to ask, but... 71 00:03:19,782 --> 00:03:22,827 - can you give me a ride after school? - Mm... 72 00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,871 My mom just wants me to go grocery shopping again. 73 00:03:24,913 --> 00:03:26,080 I know it's lame, but... 74 00:03:26,164 --> 00:03:28,291 No, no, no, Syd. I swear to God, I would. 75 00:03:28,374 --> 00:03:31,294 I sort of promised Brad I would go to the pep rally with him. So... 76 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:35,757 But isn't the pep rally for people like... 77 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:36,966 People like what, Syd? 78 00:03:38,343 --> 00:03:39,636 People with, you know... 79 00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:43,555 pep. [laughs] 80 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:48,186 I know it's stupid, but it's a pretty big game, you know? 81 00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:50,313 You're going to the game too? 82 00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:51,940 Yeah. Do you wanna go? 83 00:03:55,526 --> 00:03:57,695 - Sorry. I... - What? 84 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:01,324 It's just... that jacket. 85 00:04:02,075 --> 00:04:04,202 He's never given his jacket to anyone before. 86 00:04:04,285 --> 00:04:06,120 - Mm-hm. - It's sweet. 87 00:04:06,204 --> 00:04:07,204 Mm-hm. 88 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,498 So... 89 00:04:11,251 --> 00:04:13,253 - So... - [woman] Ladies, time to play! 90 00:04:13,628 --> 00:04:19,425 ♪ Baby, I'm over here ♪ 91 00:04:20,176 --> 00:04:22,071 - ♪ Waiting for ♪ - So Dina ditched me to hang out 92 00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:25,556 - with Bradley "Dick for Brains" Lewis. - ♪ You, my dear ♪ 93 00:04:26,140 --> 00:04:28,851 - Wore his stupid jacket... - ♪ My dear, with your ♪ 94 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:29,811 [clattering] 95 00:04:29,894 --> 00:04:32,939 - ♪ Unkempt smile... ♪ - ...like some gross couple from the '50s. 96 00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:35,775 And I need to still find a way to buy some fucking groceries 97 00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:37,652 - and get them fucking home. - [rumbling] 98 00:04:38,236 --> 00:04:39,529 [gasps] 99 00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,406 [rumbling fades] 100 00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:43,491 [dog barking] 101 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,537 [train horn blares] 102 00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:48,871 What the fuck? 103 00:05:01,384 --> 00:05:03,511 Desperate times, stupid measures. 104 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,264 - Hey, I need your car. - Oh, hey, Syd. 105 00:05:06,931 --> 00:05:09,142 Not for long. Just, like, you know, an hour. 106 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:10,852 Are you kidding? 107 00:05:10,935 --> 00:05:12,562 [laughs] My dad would murder me. 108 00:05:12,645 --> 00:05:14,939 He doesn't even know I drive that piece of shit around. 109 00:05:15,440 --> 00:05:16,691 Do you even have a license? 110 00:05:18,526 --> 00:05:19,526 Of course I do. 111 00:05:19,569 --> 00:05:20,569 Okay. 112 00:05:21,362 --> 00:05:22,362 Let me see it. 113 00:05:24,198 --> 00:05:25,283 Ah, forget it. 114 00:05:25,366 --> 00:05:26,242 Wh... 115 00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:28,536 W... Ah, no, no, no! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. 116 00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:30,955 It's fine. It's fine. I got this. 117 00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:32,665 But I'm driving. 118 00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,336 Uhh... Gladys, I'm gonna take 20. 119 00:05:40,798 --> 00:05:42,967 Stan's car smelled like weed. 120 00:05:43,051 --> 00:05:44,719 Just like my dad's old truck. 121 00:05:45,303 --> 00:05:47,930 I'd always ask him about it when I was a kid. 122 00:05:48,014 --> 00:05:50,516 I'd ask why his truck smelled like skunk. 123 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,019 Years later, I finally realized my dad was a stoner. 124 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:57,690 Hey, do you, um... do you see that tower over there? 125 00:05:58,691 --> 00:06:01,194 It's been there since, uh... 1890-somethin'. 126 00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:04,155 Story goes that a hundred men died building it. 127 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:08,284 There's no way it took one hundred men to build that piece of shit. 128 00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:10,288 Okay, well, it... it was probably more like five, 129 00:06:10,328 --> 00:06:13,331 but my great-great-great-granddad was one of 'em. 130 00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:16,084 He was not great. 131 00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:18,628 [sighs] 132 00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:21,631 Well, now that I think about it, every Barber male tends to be a shithead. 133 00:06:21,672 --> 00:06:26,344 So, guess it's up to me to redeem the good old family name. 134 00:06:26,969 --> 00:06:29,305 I've never seen your dad. Like, ever. 135 00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:32,725 He drives an 18-wheeler, like, 25 days a month. 136 00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:34,602 - Cool. - Yeah. 137 00:06:34,685 --> 00:06:36,813 My life is way better when he's not around. 138 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:39,399 Wish he'd just stay gone, you know? 139 00:06:39,816 --> 00:06:41,776 And I just wish my dad was still here. 140 00:06:42,527 --> 00:06:43,527 Oh, I didn't... 141 00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:45,905 I... I didn't mean to... to, like... 142 00:06:47,949 --> 00:06:49,033 It doesn't bother me. 143 00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:03,005 Sorry, I just need to drop something off real quick. 144 00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:14,350 There might be more to Stanley Barber than I thought. 145 00:07:15,810 --> 00:07:16,978 See you next week. 146 00:07:18,938 --> 00:07:21,357 What are you, like a drug dealer or something? 147 00:07:23,526 --> 00:07:24,694 I have clients. 148 00:07:25,486 --> 00:07:26,946 Shit! How many? 149 00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:28,029 Four. 150 00:07:28,364 --> 00:07:29,824 Technically, one's my cousin. 151 00:07:30,241 --> 00:07:31,241 [chuckles] 152 00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:33,369 [Stanley] Just here. 153 00:07:33,453 --> 00:07:35,746 If you think shopping sucks, you can wait here. 154 00:07:35,830 --> 00:07:38,249 Turns out, there's definitely more to Stan than I thought. 155 00:07:38,332 --> 00:07:40,727 - I'm here to support a friend. - ♪ Chug-a-lug, chug-a-lug... ♪ 156 00:07:40,751 --> 00:07:43,713 I mean, he's still pretty weird, but he's also funny. 157 00:07:44,922 --> 00:07:46,132 I mean, not that funny. 158 00:07:46,215 --> 00:07:47,758 - Never mind, okay? - Okay. 159 00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:50,094 But he helped me out when Dina totally bailed. 160 00:07:50,178 --> 00:07:52,698 - That would ruin the fun of it. - ♪ Grape wine in a mason jar ♪ 161 00:07:52,722 --> 00:07:54,562 - ♪ Homemade and brought to school ♪ - Oh, fun! 162 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:55,516 Right. 163 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,495 - Very boring shopping experience. - ♪ By a friend of mine and after class ♪ 164 00:07:58,519 --> 00:08:01,399 - Yeah, it's pretty... pretty great. - ♪ Me and him and this other fool ♪ 165 00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:06,903 Okay, it's gonna be... $67.99. 166 00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:09,655 Fuck. Mom only gave me 50 bucks. 167 00:08:12,200 --> 00:08:15,536 Uh... Can you ring it up again? I think you overcharged me. 168 00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:17,705 Which item, hon? 169 00:08:19,707 --> 00:08:20,708 All of 'em. 170 00:08:21,417 --> 00:08:22,585 Yeah, it's gonna be the same. 171 00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:25,671 Are you gonna pay or what? 172 00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:28,341 - Do you need me to spot you? - No, Stan. 173 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:29,904 I'll just put it all back. It's fine. 174 00:08:29,967 --> 00:08:32,178 [song playing in store] 175 00:08:32,261 --> 00:08:34,889 ♪ I will never, ever leave your side ♪ 176 00:08:35,306 --> 00:08:36,849 ♪ And that, my love... ♪ 177 00:08:36,933 --> 00:08:38,643 Stanley Barber. Nice to meet you. 178 00:08:38,726 --> 00:08:40,686 ♪ I will always wait for you ♪ 179 00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:42,480 Calm down, Syd. Calm down. 180 00:08:42,563 --> 00:08:43,916 - ♪ That's what I do ♪ - [rumbling] 181 00:08:43,940 --> 00:08:44,774 [sighs] 182 00:08:44,857 --> 00:08:47,735 ♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪ 183 00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:49,654 Just calm down. 184 00:08:50,279 --> 00:08:51,322 Pull it together. 185 00:08:51,405 --> 00:08:52,448 ♪ Come on, baby ♪ 186 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:53,532 Breathe. 187 00:08:54,033 --> 00:08:55,034 Breathe! 188 00:08:55,952 --> 00:08:57,272 - Breathe, Syd. - [loud heartbeat] 189 00:08:57,328 --> 00:08:59,163 Just... breathe. 190 00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:01,707 [heartbeat quickens] 191 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:04,710 Breathe. 192 00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,712 - [silence] - [inhales] 193 00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:12,969 ♪ You know that you are mine ♪ 194 00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:16,722 ♪ I'm crazy about you, hey, yeah, yeah ♪ 195 00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,806 [Stanley] Whoa. 196 00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:20,675 - Syd? - ♪ I give you my love ♪ 197 00:09:20,726 --> 00:09:22,353 ♪ And it won't go bad ♪ 198 00:09:22,436 --> 00:09:24,772 ♪ Make me happy for eternity ♪ 199 00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:27,817 ♪ Spend the rest of your life with... ♪ 200 00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,944 [train horn blaring] 201 00:09:36,951 --> 00:09:37,951 Heyyy... 202 00:09:43,207 --> 00:09:44,250 [exhales] 203 00:09:49,088 --> 00:09:50,381 Panic attacks, huh? 204 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:53,884 My, uh... 205 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:56,679 My mom used to get those. 206 00:09:56,762 --> 00:09:59,223 I mean, maybe she still does, I don't know, but... 207 00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:05,229 I... I mean, it... it sucks that you get them too. 208 00:10:06,063 --> 00:10:07,273 I'm sorry about that. 209 00:10:12,153 --> 00:10:14,030 Why are you still talking to me? 210 00:10:14,113 --> 00:10:16,324 Because everyone else in this town's boring. 211 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,244 [chuckles] 212 00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,628 I've never smoked before. 213 00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:30,795 Do you wanna try? 214 00:10:33,507 --> 00:10:35,384 Do you... do you want me to go first? 215 00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,468 [laughs] 216 00:10:36,510 --> 00:10:37,970 I just had to try it. 217 00:10:38,054 --> 00:10:40,765 Try to numb whatever the hell's going on inside me. 218 00:10:49,148 --> 00:10:50,650 I just copied what he did. 219 00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:53,819 I didn't even cough. 220 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,659 ["Something On Your Mind" by Karen Dalton playing] 221 00:11:03,704 --> 00:11:05,873 ♪ Yesterday ♪ 222 00:11:07,333 --> 00:11:11,504 ♪ Any way you made it was just fine ♪ 223 00:11:13,631 --> 00:11:18,386 ♪ So you turn your days Into night time... ♪ 224 00:11:18,469 --> 00:11:19,804 My eyes felt heavy. 225 00:11:19,887 --> 00:11:22,098 My mind felt... empty. 226 00:11:22,807 --> 00:11:28,354 I wasn't worried about groceries or Mom or Dina or even maybe losing my mind. 227 00:11:28,813 --> 00:11:29,813 [laughing] Hey. 228 00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,316 Do you wanna go to the football game? 229 00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:33,609 [laughs] 230 00:11:33,693 --> 00:11:35,361 Absolutely not. 231 00:11:36,112 --> 00:11:39,198 - [brass band playing] - [cheerleaders] We, we want a touchdown! 232 00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:42,076 We, we, we want a touchdown! 233 00:11:42,159 --> 00:11:44,012 - Surprised you even come to this stuff. - We, we 234 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:45,788 - We want a touchdown! - It's so lame. 235 00:11:46,330 --> 00:11:48,165 It's the opposite of lame, Syd. 236 00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:50,960 It's theater. It's live theater. 237 00:11:51,043 --> 00:11:54,296 Westinghouse Memorial High School on a Friday night. 238 00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:56,799 - Bring it in! - [Stanley] What could be more tragic? 239 00:11:56,882 --> 00:11:58,592 More Shakespearean? 240 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:00,886 Think about it. 241 00:12:00,970 --> 00:12:05,015 The moment the lights come up on Hamlet, you know it's not gonna end well. 242 00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:07,226 - Take, uh... Mr. Bradley Lewis. - [whistle blows] 243 00:12:07,977 --> 00:12:10,354 His best case scenario is, what, 244 00:12:10,438 --> 00:12:12,898 managing some regional insurance sales company? 245 00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:16,569 Where he gets to, I don't know, call the shots on Employee of the Month? 246 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:20,114 I mean, these are the people that will actually attend 247 00:12:20,197 --> 00:12:24,368 the five, ten, 20-year reunion, because, aside from this, 248 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,580 nothing else all that noteworthy is gonna happen. 249 00:12:28,456 --> 00:12:29,516 - [yelling] - [whistle blows] 250 00:12:29,540 --> 00:12:31,250 This is as good as it gets for them. 251 00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:34,211 And I like watching 'em, like Hamlet, 252 00:12:34,295 --> 00:12:36,380 when everything goes to shit in the end... 253 00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,257 and everyone dies. 254 00:12:38,966 --> 00:12:41,510 I only wanted a boy so I could keep up with Dina, 255 00:12:41,969 --> 00:12:43,679 but maybe I don't have to pretend. 256 00:12:43,763 --> 00:12:45,866 - It's the best theater in town. - ["Little Girl" plays] 257 00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:49,810 - ♪ Little girl, little girl ♪ - What if I actually like Stan? 258 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:53,105 ♪ What a cute little honey ♪ 259 00:12:54,356 --> 00:12:55,232 [crowd groans] - Ooh. 260 00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:56,609 [moaning] 261 00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,694 - [girl] Number seven, you guys. - [boy] Whoa! 262 00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:00,138 - [boy 2] Whoo! - [boy 3] Go, Brad! 263 00:13:00,196 --> 00:13:01,238 [girl] Come on, Brad! 264 00:13:02,573 --> 00:13:03,908 Ah! Fuck! 265 00:13:03,991 --> 00:13:05,993 [cheering and applause] 266 00:13:07,411 --> 00:13:10,456 Yeah, Bradley! Go, Bradley! Whoo! 267 00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:14,418 - [laughs] - ♪ I never saw a gal so small ♪ 268 00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:18,088 ♪ Givin' out orders to a guy so tall ♪ 269 00:13:18,714 --> 00:13:22,426 ♪ The navy chief would answer "Yes, yes, yes" ♪ 270 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:24,178 [Sydney] Whoa, this is your room? 271 00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:27,430 Yup. 272 00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,020 [rock music plays] 273 00:13:33,562 --> 00:13:35,022 Oh, my God! VHS? 274 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:36,523 Yup. 275 00:13:36,857 --> 00:13:38,567 It's the best platform there is. 276 00:13:39,193 --> 00:13:41,070 That is so not true. 277 00:13:41,821 --> 00:13:43,155 [laughs] 278 00:13:43,239 --> 00:13:45,449 Okay, uh, I... I'm not talkin' about quality here. 279 00:13:45,866 --> 00:13:49,995 I'm just saying the shitty texture is key to the experience. 280 00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:52,331 And I... I can't with LaserDisc. 281 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:53,749 I... Oh, God. 282 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:55,084 Don't get me started. 283 00:14:00,673 --> 00:14:02,049 So, wanna smoke again? 284 00:14:03,801 --> 00:14:04,635 [chuckles] 285 00:14:04,718 --> 00:14:05,594 [Stanley] Okay. 286 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,972 - Would you... would you rather be... - ♪ So ♪ 287 00:14:08,055 --> 00:14:09,431 ["I'm Glad" playing] 288 00:14:09,515 --> 00:14:14,353 - ♪ Sad, baby ♪ - ...an eagle or a jellyfish? 289 00:14:15,980 --> 00:14:18,357 - That is such a non-question. - ♪ So ♪ 290 00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,942 - What do you mean? - Dude! 291 00:14:20,025 --> 00:14:22,319 ♪ Glad, girl ♪ 292 00:14:22,403 --> 00:14:24,280 - Eagle, hands down! - ♪ When you ♪ 293 00:14:24,363 --> 00:14:26,407 - [laughs] Okay. All right. - ♪ First ♪ 294 00:14:26,490 --> 00:14:28,534 - It's you next. - ♪ Came around ♪ 295 00:14:29,410 --> 00:14:30,870 - All right. - ♪ I was sad ♪ 296 00:14:30,953 --> 00:14:34,373 So would you rather have... 297 00:14:34,874 --> 00:14:36,250 superpowers... 298 00:14:36,959 --> 00:14:39,461 - or would you rather... - Okay, I'm pretty sure 299 00:14:39,545 --> 00:14:42,423 every person on the planet would pick superpowers. 300 00:14:42,506 --> 00:14:45,634 So what would they be if you had 'em? 301 00:14:46,427 --> 00:14:50,306 I... I would most definitely be... 302 00:14:51,098 --> 00:14:52,349 a shapeshifter. 303 00:14:52,433 --> 00:14:57,897 But not to, like, go inside the girls' locker room or anything creepy. 304 00:14:57,980 --> 00:14:59,857 I just wanna turn into, like, 305 00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:04,820 a giant-ass jellyfish. 306 00:15:04,904 --> 00:15:07,531 - ♪ Walked in the park ♪ - [both laughing] 307 00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:10,659 What is with you and jellyfish? 308 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,161 I... I... Okay. 309 00:15:12,244 --> 00:15:17,166 I read somewhere that once... once humans destroy themselves, 310 00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:20,002 this planet isn't gonna belong to the roaches. 311 00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:23,380 How could it? I mean, we're like 70 percent water. 312 00:15:23,464 --> 00:15:26,759 I mean, roaches aren't shit. [laughs] 313 00:15:26,842 --> 00:15:28,677 So what, we're gonna become, like... 314 00:15:29,511 --> 00:15:31,013 the planet of the jelly? 315 00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:33,766 Yup! And I will be their leader, 316 00:15:34,224 --> 00:15:37,686 and we'll be battling the roaches, 317 00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:41,398 and we'll swim the deep blue sea. 318 00:15:44,234 --> 00:15:46,612 ♪ You went away ♪ 319 00:15:46,695 --> 00:15:47,780 Sounds nice. 320 00:15:49,239 --> 00:15:51,867 - ♪ Oh, I cried night and the day ♪ - Yeah. 321 00:15:54,411 --> 00:15:57,623 - Okay. Um... Well, what about you? - ♪ For what you done ♪ 322 00:15:57,706 --> 00:15:59,041 Pass. 323 00:15:59,124 --> 00:16:01,377 What? Wa... Uh, wait. Okay. Lame. 324 00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:04,296 - Pass. You go. You're next. - Wait... Ugh. All right. 325 00:16:04,380 --> 00:16:06,340 ♪ You left me so blue ♪ 326 00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:07,841 Would you rather... 327 00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:13,180 - tell me your deepest darkest secret... - ♪ I don't know anywhere to go or ♪ 328 00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,263 ...or... 329 00:16:14,765 --> 00:16:17,267 ♪ What to do ♪ 330 00:16:18,477 --> 00:16:19,311 [grunts] 331 00:16:19,395 --> 00:16:23,065 ♪ Please come back and let the ♪ 332 00:16:23,482 --> 00:16:26,110 - [sighs] I'll tell you my secret, Stan. - ♪ Sun ♪ 333 00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:28,946 ♪ Shine through ♪ 334 00:16:29,029 --> 00:16:33,283 But, when I tell you, you cannot tell anyone. 335 00:16:33,367 --> 00:16:35,494 - No one! Understand? - ♪ Sun passed behind a cloud ♪ 336 00:16:35,577 --> 00:16:36,704 ♪ So sad, baby ♪ 337 00:16:36,787 --> 00:16:37,913 Yeah, I... I promise. 338 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,581 - ♪ I felt so proud ♪ - [heartbeat] 339 00:16:39,665 --> 00:16:42,084 - [exhales] - [Sydney] Just tell him, Syd. 340 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:44,253 [loud heartbeat] 341 00:16:48,382 --> 00:16:50,050 I got pimples on my thighs. 342 00:16:50,718 --> 00:16:52,761 [laughs] 343 00:16:52,845 --> 00:16:55,264 Ah! Wait, se... seriously? Why? 344 00:16:55,347 --> 00:16:57,516 I don't know why! I just do, okay? 345 00:16:57,599 --> 00:16:58,475 Well, let me see 'em. 346 00:16:58,559 --> 00:17:00,102 [laughs] No! 347 00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:02,563 They're so gross. [chuckles] 348 00:17:02,646 --> 00:17:04,565 Oh, I bet I got you beat. 349 00:17:04,648 --> 00:17:05,816 No way. 350 00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:06,899 Okay. 351 00:17:07,609 --> 00:17:08,609 Watch this. 352 00:17:12,406 --> 00:17:14,742 It's backne supreme. 353 00:17:15,200 --> 00:17:17,995 Holy shit! 354 00:17:19,455 --> 00:17:21,623 - Disgusting! - Uh-huh. And... 355 00:17:21,707 --> 00:17:25,627 and it goes all the way down to my ass. 356 00:17:25,711 --> 00:17:27,463 All the way inside my cheeks. 357 00:17:27,546 --> 00:17:28,756 Oh, my God! 358 00:17:28,839 --> 00:17:31,133 - That is so gross. - Uh-huh. 359 00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:32,843 I win. 360 00:17:34,261 --> 00:17:37,639 Oh, hold on there, Stanley Barber. 361 00:17:38,307 --> 00:17:39,307 Check... 362 00:17:41,727 --> 00:17:43,062 this out. [chuckles] 363 00:17:43,145 --> 00:17:46,523 Bam! I mean, you cannot compete, 364 00:17:46,607 --> 00:17:48,650 and you cannot compare. 365 00:17:49,568 --> 00:17:50,778 Wow. 366 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,821 That... Yeah, that is brutal. 367 00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:57,367 I mean, I have never seen something so disgusting. 368 00:17:57,951 --> 00:17:59,578 - I know, right? - [laughs] 369 00:18:01,830 --> 00:18:05,292 I don't know exactly how to describe the way I feel when I'm around Stan. 370 00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,921 ♪ Yeah, I'm so, so glad ♪ 371 00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:11,799 ♪ Oh, so glad ♪ 372 00:18:11,882 --> 00:18:15,135 I'm... I'm so sorry. Was that... was that bad? 373 00:18:15,844 --> 00:18:19,681 I only know I feel a little less weird. 374 00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:23,745 ["I'm Glad" by Captain Beefheart & His Magic Band playing] 375 00:18:23,769 --> 00:18:27,106 ♪ So ♪ 376 00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:31,026 ♪ Sad, baby ♪ 377 00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:36,240 - ♪ So - ♪ Walked in the park ♪ 378 00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:38,617 ♪ Sad, baby ♪ 379 00:18:38,700 --> 00:18:40,702 ♪ Kissed in the dark ♪ 380 00:18:42,204 --> 00:18:45,916 - ♪ So - ♪ Leaves burned just like ♪ 381 00:18:45,999 --> 00:18:48,001 ♪ Glad, girl ♪ 382 00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:50,129 ♪ Just like a spark ♪ 383 00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:53,715 - ♪ I'm glad - ♪ Ooh ♪ 384 00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,717 ♪ Glad about the good times ♪ 385 00:18:55,801 --> 00:18:58,971 - ♪ Ooh - ♪ Ooh ♪ 386 00:18:59,721 --> 00:19:03,976 - ♪ That we've had - ♪ Ooh ♪ 387 00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:08,981 ♪ Sad, baby ♪ 388 00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:13,402 ♪ You went away ♪ 389 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,739 ♪ Oh, I cried night and the day ♪ 390 00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,744 ♪ For what you done ♪ 391 00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:27,749 ♪ I had to pay ♪ 392 00:19:29,751 --> 00:19:32,754 ♪ You left me so blue ♪ 393 00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,759 ♪ Please come back and let the ♪ 394 00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:41,513 ♪ Sun ♪ 395 00:19:42,347 --> 00:19:44,766 ♪ Shine through ♪