Elizabeth, where does Jackie keep her champagne flutes?
Uh, right next to her unicorn and pot of leprechaun gold.
So we don't have any. This is a problem.
You know my father's a very traditional man.
We cannot serve him champagne in Sammy's Spider-Man mugs.
Why don't we just serve it in our normal wineglasses?
Why don't we just swig out of the bottle
and eat with our hands?
Relax, Luis.
Why don't you dial it down from a diez to a siete.
What's going on in here?
It's only 7:30 in the morning and the table's
all fancy and the place looks less...
- Greasy? - Grimy?
Sticky?
I was gonna say "cluttered."
Breakfast, Samuelito, but please eat over the trash,
so we can keep the house clean.
You spill one pot of chili...
I'm sorry, but it is a big day for Luis.
You see, a couple of weeks ago, he left a voice mail
reaching out to his papá,
but he never responded... until today,
when he sent the most beautiful, heartfelt text.
Read it, Luis.
"Landed at LAX.
See you soon. Don Dominguez."
And, in honor of his visit,
we decided to break out this very expensive bottle of Cristal
we've been hiding from you.
And I brought this jar of rare Egyptian almonds
that taste squishy in your mouth but are meant to be that way.
As well as this attractive wedge of pule,
the world's most exclusive and pungent cheese.
It is made from the milk of donkeys.
Explains why it smells like ass.
You said "ass."
Jackie, what's going on with you? Why are you
all dressed up in your long-sleeved T-shirt?
- Do you have to go to court? - No.
I got a call from one of Dad's old clients...
the Sunshine Valley Retirement Home.
They're doing a big renovation
and they want me to come in for a meeting.
Oh, since when do you do renovations?
Since forever. Dad taught me and Lizzie
how to fix anything... electric, plumbing...
High school basketball games.
Now that you guys are here and helping out with Sammy,
I finally have the chance to start my own handyman business.
Like Dad did, with Dixon & Murray.
- Ugh. Murray. - Murray.
- Hey! I just cleaned that floor. - Sorry.
We hate Murray.
He was our dad's business partner
until Murray ratted him out for tax evasion.
Dixon went to jail and Murray went to Boca.
Which is kind of like jail... a bunch of old guys in jumpsuits
eating dinner at 5:00, asking themselves,
"What did I do wrong to end up here?"
Okay, so, I have to get away from that cheese
and you have to go to school.
Oh. I'll walk out with you.
I want to get some flowers for the occasion.
Oh. Bowl stays here.
No breakfast in the car.
You stash one Go-Gurt under the seat...
So, are you excited to see your father?
I am. It has been three years
since I came out to him, and now that he's traveling
all this way, I'm hoping it is a sign
that he's finally ready to accept me for who I am.
Have you thought about what you're gonna say to him?
Oh. I've imagined the conversation a thousand times.
He'll say to me, "How is your job as Javier's assistant?"
And I'll say, "Very good.
How is your job as Javier's father's assistant?"
And he'll say, "Very good.
You know, classic father-son stuff.
And then, before you know it,
we've reconciled and we're making up for lost time.
- Oh. Oh, that's a beautiful bouquet. - Isn't it?
The neighbors really have a green thumb.
And now a fence with a broken latch.
He's here.
How do I look?
- Adorable. - Agreed.
You look super cute. Now answer the door.
Luis.
Papá.
Javier.
Don Dominguez.
Elizabeth.
Don Dominguez.
Now that we have completed the formalities,
may I enter?
Yes, of course.
Welcome to Reseda, Papá,
No need to get emotional.
I'm not here to see you, Luis.
I'm here to see Javier.
Huh?
Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com
I don't understand.
What do you mean you're not here to see me?
I am here because today is the six-month anniversary
of the day that your papá cut off all your money.
A-And he's decided to give it back to me?
- The nightmare is over! - Yes!
No,
it is still a nightmare.
I have been sent to make some observations
and maybe just jot down a few notes.
It's the green notebook
he carried around before our wedding.
He was giving me a test to see if I was worthy.
Are you giving Javi a test?
No, this is not a test.
Your papá simply wants me to make some observations
about your current lifestyle.
Oh, well, that's a relief.
It's totally a test.
Your papá wants to know that you have learned the value of money
and the importance of hard work, and that you have given up
your foolish existence full of expensive champagne,
rare nuts and trendy cheeses.
Javi, Luis, why don't you go see if the coffee is ready,
and I will show Don Dominguez
where he can freshen up.
Hide all the fancy crap!
Luis, are you okay?
I mean, you know, even though your father
didn't come here to see you, you can still
take the opportunity to talk to him.
No. He's obviously not ready to have that conversation.
Well, he had a long flight. Perhaps he'll be ready
once his ears have popped.
Javier, focus!
Oh! Oh!
Oh, oh.
Do you think
if I pass this test, I'll get my money back?
Yes. As long as you prove
you're a changed person and no longer indulge
in fancy things like...
Donkey cheese. He's going to smell
the stinky donkey cheese. Oh, oh, the cheese.
Thank you for the flowers.
Don Dominguez, would you like a cup of coffee?
You know, the kind that regular people
who lead regular lives drink regularly?
Yes. I would like a cup.
- Thank you. - Of course.
Do you take half-and-half?
It depends.
Do you have half-and-half?
Well, no, because half-and-half
is a luxury a working man like myself can't afford.
And to think I used to bathe in it.
Don Dominguez, if you don't mind me asking,
what exactly are you writing in that little green notebook?
- Oh, just minor observations. - Oh.
So nothing for me to worry about.
I did not say that.
Hey, excuse me. I'm looking for...
Nick Murray?
Jackie Dixon?
Wow, I haven't seen you since...
Since your dad ratted out my dad and sent him to prison?
Yeah, since then.
What are you doing here?
I'm getting hired to renovate this place.
Well, that doesn't make any sense,
'cause I'm getting hired to renovate this place.
Well, that makes no sense, because I've spent
the last ten years building on my dad's reputation
as a world-class...
- Jackass? - ...handyman.
But enough about me.
How's your sister?
Lizzie is great. After you two broke up,
her life got way better.
- Really? - Yeah.
Then what is she doing back in Reseda?
Wow.
Somebody's keeping tabs.
Creepy much?
Hi. I'm Judy Nuwabi.
Welcome to the Sunshine Valley Retirement Home.
Listen, I really appreciate this opportunity,
but I think there's been some sort of mix-up...
Yeah, uh, she's Dixon and I'm Murray,
- but we do not work together. - Hey,
I just got your numbers on your dad's old business card.
Now, you're here
to fix the pipes that burst for the umpteenth time
since your father installed them...
Sounds about right.
...and you're here to repair
all the electrical that your dad screwed up.
Shocking. Get it?
So we're both getting hired?
For this job. But whoever does better work
will get a shot at renovating
Sunshine Valley's 14 other retirement facilities.
I will be here tomorrow at 7:00 with my crew.
I'll be here tomorrow at 6:00...
fifty-ish...
with my crew...
which I definitely have.
Hey.
Jackie. Uh, you remember Don Dominguez, Luis's father.
Jackie.
Don Dominguez.
We met at Lizzie's wedding, right?
I don't really remember.
I might've had a drink or two. Mm.
Yes, you had...
six...
teen drinks.
So, do you have a lot of fun things planned
for you and Luis?
Actually, Don Dominguez is here
to observe Javi and confirm that we've learned the value of money
and hard work, which we have, isn't that right, Jackie?
Absolutely.
Lizzie and Javi, they're always willing to work hard
and pitch in.
I'll show you.
Hey, Lizzie. You want to help me out
with my handyman job tomorrow?
How could I possibly say no?
Little heads-up.
Nick Murray'll be there.
Nick Murray?!
Who's Nick Murray?
This dope I used to date in high school
just because he had a motorcycle and eight-pack abs.
Well, I would love to stay and hear more
about your badass, super-buff teenage paramour...
...but I have to go to work and punch the clock.
Which I don't literally do,
because I'm a ride-share driver, so the clock,
it's actually on my dashboard.
I'll see you when I get back, Don Dominguez.
No. You will see me now.
Part of the test is observing you in the workplace.
I thought you said this wasn't a test.
And I thought you understood that it was.
Is the temperature okay for you back there?
Uh-huh.
Wonderful, because this ride-share
is not about my needs or wants. No.
It's all about you.
I'm good.
He's good.
What do you think about drivers who talk too much
while they're driving?
Not into it.
He's not into it.
Don Dominguez,
why don't you take a break from your little book?
We can have a conversation about anything you want.
Current events.
Classical music.
A way to reconnect with your son Luis,
who has missed you very much.
- Hey, man. - What?
- You missed my turn. - Oh.
Oh, I am sorry.
I'll-I'll give you a free ride.
No, no, two. Two free rides.
Uh,
no, you should pay me because I'm a working man
who knows the value of money.
Oh, come on, what are you writing?
How are you doing on the test?
Oh, who knows? I drop him off at his hotel
then suggested he get a pedicure,
and then he wrote three pages in that damn notebook.
Perhaps he was writing down good things.
Was he happy, like this?
Hmm.
Or was he upset, like this?
You're making the same face, Luis.
They were totally different. Let me show you again.
No, that's fine! That's fine. I get it. I get it.
I just wish I knew how I was doing on the test.
I need to get my hands on that notebook.
Unfortunately, my papá always carries it in his jacket.
We just need to find a way to get him out of it.
I got it.
We take him to a Korean spa
and wait until he gets totally naked.
Or we spill something on it at home
and get him to take it off.
Okay, your plan is better.
I was just really hoping to get a massage.
Well, well, well.
Look who's here. Little Lizzie Dixon.
Oh, if it isn't Nick "Also Very Little" Murray.
Lizzie and I used to date back when
I was only benching 285.
Wasn't that also your SAT score?
Hard to believe you two kids didn't work out.
Let's set up, Lizzie.
Wait a minute, she's your crew?
That's hilarious.
What's hilarious
is you're only using one wrench
to tighten that hex fitting when you should be using two.
Ever heard of back-holding?
Yep.
That's my crew.
Suck on it.
What did she say?
She told him to suck on it.
Keep going. I like this show.
The TV in the common room's broken.
Oh, okay. Um, so, here's the deal.
So, Lizzie and Nick, they used to date back in high school,
but then Lizzie dumped him, and she ended up
marrying this really rich, really handsome guy.
But then they lost all their money, so they...
- Why are you telling them this? - Because their TV's broken.
If they want to follow along, they need the backstory.
Yeah, well, that backstory is BS.
Lizzie didn't dump me. I dumped her.
Excuse me, I dumped him.
Excuse me, in what world does a six
dump a nine?
I mean, come on. It's just simple math.
Okay, that's it.
No, Lizzie! No.
Don't let him get to you, okay? This job is important to me.
I need you to keep it together.
I know, but I don't want to.
Lizzie, please.
This is my shot at my own business.
Okay, fine. I'll be good.
Aw, I wanted to see them fight.
Me, too,
but unfortunately, I'm here to work.
You don't think I'm a six, do you?
As a feminist,
I feel uncomfortable answering that.
That's our signal.
I just love
doing bird calls.
- Oh? - Yeah.
Which bird was that?
A turkey vulture.
Doesn't a turkey vulture sound more like...
Well, I've heard it both ways.
Don Dominguez, how about a smoothie?
- Luis made one of my favorites. - Ah.
- Oh, no! - Oh! Aah!
I'm sorry. Oh, my God. Please,
let me clean your jacket, Don Dominguez. Please, please.
Uh, blot. Don't rub.
I don't want you to panic, Papá, but I think I see
some flecks of smoothie in your eyebrows.
What? No!
My eyebrows are the seat of all my expressions.
Sammy, why don't you take Don Dominguez
- to get cleaned up? - Here, come with me.
- What does it say? - I don't know. It says, uh...
Uh... Oh. "Half and half.
"LeBron. Pedicure.
Pedicure. Pedicure."
Oh, here. Here.
"Javier is leading a life of purpose and responsibility.
"He has grown as a person
and seems ready to be trusted again."
Javi, that is fantastic.
They're back already.
I will stall him.
For the last time, it's...
You incorrectly assessed my eyebrow flecks.
I'm sorry.
I could make you another smoothie.
Blueberry. Banana.
I do my own take on razzmatazz.
I don't want another smoothie. I want my jacket.
I feel like a hippie dressed like this.
Papá, stop.
What is it, Luis?
Nothing.
No, wait. No.
I need to know why you didn't respond to my voice mail.
Now is not the right time for this.
There's never going to be a right time.
Why didn't you call back?
I have nothing to say to you.
How is that possible?
You're my father.
I'm not asking for much.
I just want you to see me for who I am.
I don't approve of who you are.
There is nothing left to discuss.
Don Dominguez is right.
There's nothing left to discuss.
Here's your jacket.
I think you should leave.
Are you sure you want to do this?
You should be proud to have raised a son
as kind, generous and impeccably dressed as Luis.
This is a home built on love and respect,
and until you're ready to accept Luis exactly as he is,
you're not welcome here.
Javier.
Don Dominguez.
Luis.
Papá.
Ugh.
Are we supposed to be impressed by that?
It is kind of impressive.
I know.
You ladies talking about salads?
No. Are you guys talking
about how steroids lead to impotence?
No.
Okay, let's flip the breaker.
- Damn it! - Oh.
We must have a bad wire. Hand me the digital clamp meter.
We don't have one.
We can't finish the job without it.
Well, go ask Nick to borrow his.
He's not gonna give it to me,
and he clearly has a thing for you still
because he keeps trying to get your attention.
He is not trying to get my at...
Oh, my God.
Okay, fine. I'll ask.
Wowie, one arm.
Hey, Nick.
Can I borrow a digital clamp meter?
Of course.
- Thank you. - On one condition.
Admit that I dumped you.
Oh, whatever.
You dumped me. Wah, wah. Give me the meter.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, not yet.
I need you to post it on Facebook.
I want
everybody we went to high school with to know
that you ran into me, I looked hot
and you still haven't gotten over the pain of me dumping you.
But none of that is true.
It's Facebook. It doesn't have to be true.
Okay, I am not saying that.
Now quit acting like such a Murray
and give me the damn meter.
No deal.
Jackie,
I'm sorry, but I can't. Okay?
I... I have lost
so much these past few months.
The only thing I have left is my dignity.
If I do what he says, I have nothing.
Okay.
I know it doesn't seem like a big deal, but it's...
No, I-I get it.
I don't want you to humiliate yourself.
I'll be fine.
Really?
Really.
So you're not gonna say, "Suck it up, Lizzie.
"You're being petty for caring what a bunch of losers
on Facebook think of you"?
Nope.
Well, you should be saying that, because I should suck it up,
because I am being petty. You need this job.
Okay, Nick. I'll lie and say you dumped me,
you thick-necked, sausage-fingered
son of a snitch.
Get it together, Jackie.
No peeking. We are almost there.
I love surprises!
I know. That's why I'm doing this.
- I hate surprises. - I know.
That's why I'm doing this.
And open your eyes.
It's all that weird crap you like!
Oh, thank you!
Don't mind the bits of leaves and grass on the cheese.
I had to wrestle it from the neighbor's cat.
I think it might even smell better.
Why did I do that?
I would like to propose a toast.
Javi, you are the most generous person I know.
You have sacrificed so much.
I could never put a price on our friendship.
But it is somewhere in the neighborhood
of $400 million to $500 million.
I'm sorry, Elizabeth.
I know this means we won't be getting our money.
Say no more. Luis is family.
So, none of the money?
Say no more.
I'd like to make a toast, too.
Lizzie, thanks for having
my back with all that Nick stuff today.
Oh, yeah. I saw on Facebook
how your super ripped ex-boyfriend dumped you.
I was confused, but I threw you a like.