1 00:00:01,827 --> 00:00:03,352 What kind of animal picks out all the shrimp 2 00:00:03,395 --> 00:00:05,049 - and then puts the box back? - Aw. 3 00:00:05,093 --> 00:00:08,064 That has all the markings of my Lizzie bear. 4 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:11,663 Wait. How come there's only broccoli in my leftovers? 5 00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:13,230 Oh. Sorry, buddy. 6 00:00:13,274 --> 00:00:15,538 General Tso marched all his chicken into my mouth 7 00:00:15,581 --> 00:00:18,454 before you got up this morning. 8 00:00:18,497 --> 00:00:21,674 Barry, you can't just come and go like you live here. 9 00:00:21,718 --> 00:00:23,023 'Cause you don't. 10 00:00:23,067 --> 00:00:25,287 But I used to. That's got to count for something. 11 00:00:25,330 --> 00:00:27,202 And yet... it doesn't. 12 00:00:27,245 --> 00:00:29,812 Oh. What's everybody doing up? 13 00:00:29,855 --> 00:00:31,684 It's 1:00 in the afternoon. 14 00:00:31,727 --> 00:00:34,599 Ugh. I hate when I wake up before my alarm. 15 00:00:37,898 --> 00:00:39,161 Wow. 16 00:00:39,204 --> 00:00:40,388 What's going on with your... 17 00:00:40,431 --> 00:00:43,174 party on the bottom and business on the top? 18 00:00:43,831 --> 00:00:45,757 I have an exercise date with Luke, 19 00:00:45,802 --> 00:00:48,135 but first I have to make Elizabeth... 20 00:00:48,356 --> 00:00:49,731 breakfast. 21 00:00:49,990 --> 00:00:51,269 Oh, thanks, I'm good. 22 00:00:51,312 --> 00:00:53,444 I snacked on a little shrimp last night. 23 00:00:53,489 --> 00:00:55,316 Hey, I could actually crush a westie omelet 24 00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,361 if you're cheffin'. 25 00:01:01,523 --> 00:01:03,324 Well, if that is all, I am off. 26 00:01:04,368 --> 00:01:05,936 - You know, - I was thinking, 27 00:01:05,978 --> 00:01:08,329 since we're co-parenting, that I should probably get a key 28 00:01:08,373 --> 00:01:10,418 and some petty cash. 29 00:01:10,898 --> 00:01:12,160 Oh, yeah. 30 00:01:12,202 --> 00:01:14,335 Call Peggy in HR. She'll set you up. 31 00:01:15,511 --> 00:01:17,120 See, I don't get it... these two are 32 00:01:17,165 --> 00:01:18,731 always around... you're never giving them any crap. 33 00:01:18,775 --> 00:01:20,776 Oh, rest assured, Barry, we do in fact get 34 00:01:20,820 --> 00:01:22,779 a large amount of crap, but we're only here 35 00:01:22,821 --> 00:01:24,475 until mi papá gives us our fortune back. 36 00:01:25,273 --> 00:01:27,565 Well, cool, but, like, what if he doesn't? 37 00:01:27,609 --> 00:01:29,220 You see, Barry, 38 00:01:29,263 --> 00:01:30,699 we don't entertain negative thoughts. 39 00:01:30,743 --> 00:01:34,356 Or anyone anymore since we lost our money. 40 00:01:34,898 --> 00:01:36,610 Hey, Mom. Hey, Dad. 41 00:01:36,652 --> 00:01:37,793 - Hey, everyone. - Oh, looks like 42 00:01:37,837 --> 00:01:39,925 someone took a page from their glamorous aunt 43 00:01:39,970 --> 00:01:41,928 and made their first vision board. 44 00:01:41,971 --> 00:01:43,974 Actually, it's for a cool school project 45 00:01:44,017 --> 00:01:45,367 I got assigned yesterday. 46 00:01:45,410 --> 00:01:47,324 First time you ever heard "cool" and "school" 47 00:01:47,368 --> 00:01:49,022 in the same sentence, right? 48 00:01:49,065 --> 00:01:51,502 Yeah. We don't have that kind of relationship. 49 00:01:52,731 --> 00:01:54,508 Sammy has to make a map 50 00:01:54,551 --> 00:01:56,508 and a time line of the United States. 51 00:01:56,552 --> 00:01:58,641 I think I'm gonna make the whole thing out of clay. 52 00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:01,731 Oh, wow, I always knew you were a young Donatello. 53 00:02:01,774 --> 00:02:03,079 - Right? - Yeah. 54 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,299 - The genius Ninja Turtle. - No. 55 00:02:05,343 --> 00:02:07,953 Ooh. What if I use a different color clay for each state? 56 00:02:07,998 --> 00:02:10,608 Are there even 50 different colors of clay? 57 00:02:10,653 --> 00:02:12,393 Jackie, please. I have 50 different colors 58 00:02:12,436 --> 00:02:13,959 of red lipstick. 59 00:02:14,523 --> 00:02:16,267 You know what would be really awesome? 60 00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,312 To do something special with each state, too. 61 00:02:18,356 --> 00:02:19,749 - Oh! - Ooh! 62 00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:22,142 So, like, for South Dakota, a clay Mount Rushmore. 63 00:02:22,185 --> 00:02:24,274 And for Arizona, a little Grand Canyon! 64 00:02:24,318 --> 00:02:27,930 And for Texas, a small flag that SAYS: "We used to be Mexico." 65 00:02:28,481 --> 00:02:31,716 Sammy, this sounds like a really ambitious project. 66 00:02:31,761 --> 00:02:33,883 So I want to make sure you can finish it. 67 00:02:33,928 --> 00:02:34,937 When is it due? 68 00:02:34,981 --> 00:02:36,199 In a week. 69 00:02:36,244 --> 00:02:37,506 Plenty of time. 70 00:02:37,549 --> 00:02:39,398 I started and quit college in a week. 71 00:02:39,898 --> 00:02:41,900 Don't forget I won't be around to supervise. 72 00:02:41,945 --> 00:02:44,730 They hired me to rewire a bunch of stuff at the library. 73 00:02:44,773 --> 00:02:46,340 Wow. You continue to amaze me. 74 00:02:46,383 --> 00:02:48,167 You know how to do electrical work? 75 00:02:48,212 --> 00:02:51,215 Not really, but I'll be in a library... I'll look it up. 76 00:02:51,258 --> 00:02:53,477 That's not a problem. I'll be around. I can make sure it gets done. 77 00:02:53,522 --> 00:02:55,350 Okay, to be clear... 78 00:02:55,393 --> 00:02:59,179 you are gonna supervise his project? 79 00:02:59,222 --> 00:03:00,975 Why do you think I moved back to Reseda? 80 00:03:01,018 --> 00:03:02,312 To eat all our food? 81 00:03:02,357 --> 00:03:03,749 That... 82 00:03:03,792 --> 00:03:05,359 and because we agreed to co-parent. 83 00:03:05,403 --> 00:03:07,529 So here I am, reporting for homework duty. 84 00:03:07,572 --> 00:03:09,377 Put me in, Coach! I'm ready to play... 85 00:03:09,420 --> 00:03:11,887 and more importantly, work. 86 00:03:11,930 --> 00:03:13,454 - We'll help, too, Jackie. - Oh, yes. 87 00:03:13,498 --> 00:03:15,369 I've been dying to find a new creative outlet 88 00:03:15,412 --> 00:03:18,242 ever since my marionettes got lost in the move. 89 00:03:18,285 --> 00:03:20,809 Yes. Lost. 90 00:03:20,852 --> 00:03:22,464 Jackie, you can relax 91 00:03:22,506 --> 00:03:25,074 and just work your two jobs this week, all right? 92 00:03:25,118 --> 00:03:26,554 When Sammy gets done, everyone's gonna look 93 00:03:26,597 --> 00:03:27,816 at his project and say... 94 00:03:27,859 --> 00:03:29,606 What the hell is that? 95 00:03:30,514 --> 00:03:32,560 You tell me. 96 00:03:32,603 --> 00:03:34,998 What happened to "we'll help, too"? 97 00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:36,434 Oh, come on, Jackie, 98 00:03:36,477 --> 00:03:38,001 you know that's just something people say, 99 00:03:38,043 --> 00:03:40,437 like "good to see you" or "we should get coffee." 100 00:03:41,439 --> 00:03:43,618 Yeah. In our defense, the project was at Barry's place 101 00:03:43,661 --> 00:03:45,928 most of the time, so we are not taking the blame 102 00:03:45,971 --> 00:03:48,081 - for this piece of sh... - Sammy! 103 00:03:48,316 --> 00:03:50,100 Good to see you. 104 00:03:50,143 --> 00:03:52,148 Uh, we should get coffee. 105 00:03:52,667 --> 00:03:54,713 My project turned out so bad. 106 00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:58,326 Well, it's... not your best work, bud. 107 00:03:58,606 --> 00:03:59,892 What happened? 108 00:03:59,935 --> 00:04:01,851 It just didn't come out the way it looked in my head. 109 00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:03,331 I had to give up making Niagara Falls 110 00:04:03,374 --> 00:04:04,983 after I flooded the bathroom. 111 00:04:05,028 --> 00:04:07,422 Oh, that's what that was. 112 00:04:07,465 --> 00:04:10,206 I just thought you had really bad aim. 113 00:04:10,249 --> 00:04:11,903 And everything Dad and I came up with 114 00:04:11,948 --> 00:04:14,429 during our "concept" meetings took way longer than I thought. 115 00:04:14,472 --> 00:04:17,213 It's due tomorrow, and I'm never gonna finish it in time. 116 00:04:17,256 --> 00:04:19,607 - Ah, don't worry, Sammy. - Everything will work itself out. 117 00:04:19,650 --> 00:04:20,652 How? 118 00:04:20,696 --> 00:04:23,437 Well, I wasn't expecting 119 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,264 a follow-up question. 120 00:04:25,309 --> 00:04:27,398 Sammy, it's way past your bedtime. 121 00:04:27,939 --> 00:04:30,706 I think the best thing to do is just go get some sleep. 122 00:04:30,749 --> 00:04:32,446 But I messed up, and it's all my fault. 123 00:04:32,489 --> 00:04:34,230 Honey, this is just one of those things. 124 00:04:34,273 --> 00:04:35,884 It's nobody's fault. 125 00:04:37,321 --> 00:04:40,410 This is all Barry's fault. 126 00:04:40,455 --> 00:04:44,248 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com 127 00:04:44,273 --> 00:04:46,883 How did you let this happen to Sammy's project? 128 00:04:46,908 --> 00:04:47,850 Look, we can 129 00:04:47,875 --> 00:04:49,638 Monday-morning quarterback this thing all day long... 130 00:04:49,681 --> 00:04:51,422 It's my fault, it's your fault, it doesn't matter. 131 00:04:51,465 --> 00:04:53,468 Nobody is saying it's my fault. 132 00:04:53,511 --> 00:04:55,470 Exactly. It's nobody's fault. 133 00:04:55,513 --> 00:04:57,384 Barry, what happened? 134 00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,821 We got off to a super-hot start, but then it was, like, 135 00:04:59,864 --> 00:05:02,607 he had to go to school and I had to go to work, and... 136 00:05:02,650 --> 00:05:04,521 like you said, it's nobody's fault. 137 00:05:04,566 --> 00:05:06,610 I never said that! 138 00:05:06,655 --> 00:05:08,133 Okay, it's not that bad. 139 00:05:08,177 --> 00:05:09,439 I mean, some parts came out pretty good. 140 00:05:09,484 --> 00:05:10,484 Are you kidding me? 141 00:05:10,528 --> 00:05:12,443 Florida looks like it got beaten up 142 00:05:12,487 --> 00:05:14,331 by a guy from Florida. 143 00:05:14,792 --> 00:05:16,273 All right, so what's our next move? 144 00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:18,122 - He calls in sick tomorrow? - No. 145 00:05:18,165 --> 00:05:21,191 He's just gonna have to show his unfinished project 146 00:05:21,234 --> 00:05:23,018 and let it be a valuable lesson 147 00:05:23,061 --> 00:05:25,064 in biting off more than you can chew. 148 00:05:25,107 --> 00:05:27,239 Allow us to offer a counterpoint. 149 00:05:27,398 --> 00:05:29,764 At Sammy's age, like everyone's age, 150 00:05:29,807 --> 00:05:31,854 image is everything. 151 00:05:32,231 --> 00:05:35,770 This is why Instagram is so good for society. 152 00:05:35,814 --> 00:05:37,294 If Sammy presents 153 00:05:37,336 --> 00:05:39,470 this project, the kids are going to be brutal. 154 00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,472 They're going to laugh, make fun of him... 155 00:05:41,516 --> 00:05:43,038 "Ah-ha-ha, Sammy! 156 00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:45,432 Your map did not turn out the way you had intended." 157 00:05:45,475 --> 00:05:47,217 Then he cries, 158 00:05:47,259 --> 00:05:49,088 leading to a lifetime of bad decisions, 159 00:05:49,131 --> 00:05:50,742 and then he becomes a deejay. 160 00:05:50,785 --> 00:05:52,527 Then he finds himself 161 00:05:52,569 --> 00:05:55,485 in 20 years talking to his life coach, saying... 162 00:05:55,530 --> 00:05:58,314 "My pathetic clay Liberty Bell was a metaphor 163 00:05:58,357 --> 00:06:01,606 for the cracks that have now formed in my life." 164 00:06:02,537 --> 00:06:06,888 While I appreciate your warped views on child-rearing, 165 00:06:07,604 --> 00:06:09,474 Sammy is a strong kid... He's not gonna let 166 00:06:09,516 --> 00:06:10,849 something like this bring him down. 167 00:06:10,893 --> 00:06:11,936 He'll be fine. 168 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:12,934 Jackie's right. 169 00:06:12,977 --> 00:06:14,034 When I was Sammy's age, 170 00:06:14,059 --> 00:06:16,147 I totally biffed a project just like this. 171 00:06:16,172 --> 00:06:17,739 And yeah, I had to encore fourth grade, 172 00:06:17,764 --> 00:06:18,721 but I turned out fine. 173 00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:20,336 Oh, my God. 174 00:06:20,379 --> 00:06:22,992 We have to help Sammy finish this project. 175 00:06:25,904 --> 00:06:29,566 To be clear... we don't usually do Sammy's projects for him. 176 00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,046 This is a one-time thing, 'cause Barry screwed everything up. 177 00:06:32,089 --> 00:06:33,264 - Agreed. - Agreed. 178 00:06:33,308 --> 00:06:34,658 Agreed. 179 00:06:34,702 --> 00:06:36,704 Do we have everything we need to finish this? 180 00:06:37,704 --> 00:06:39,301 We do now. 181 00:06:39,793 --> 00:06:42,099 Now, I know it's a lot of work, but it's for Sammy, 182 00:06:42,144 --> 00:06:44,363 - so we got this, right? - Do not worry, Jackie. 183 00:06:44,406 --> 00:06:46,147 You forget we have a secret weapon: 184 00:06:46,190 --> 00:06:48,324 the help of an absolutely extraordinary man 185 00:06:48,366 --> 00:06:50,456 whose arts-and-crafts skills are only surpassed 186 00:06:50,500 --> 00:06:51,675 by his punctuality. 187 00:06:51,719 --> 00:06:54,286 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Luis. 188 00:06:55,286 --> 00:06:56,680 Amazing, right? 189 00:06:56,724 --> 00:06:58,769 Actually, it's a little fun bit we do. 190 00:06:58,812 --> 00:07:02,599 I have been here 15 minutes, so not as fun for me. 191 00:07:03,051 --> 00:07:04,601 Thank you for volunteering to help. 192 00:07:04,644 --> 00:07:06,123 Ai! 193 00:07:06,168 --> 00:07:07,735 What's wrong? 194 00:07:07,777 --> 00:07:10,127 Luke and I went mountain biking today. 195 00:07:10,676 --> 00:07:12,695 It felt more like the mountain rode me. 196 00:07:14,784 --> 00:07:17,135 I am in excruciating pain. 197 00:07:17,178 --> 00:07:19,355 You should go home and rest, Luis. 198 00:07:19,380 --> 00:07:20,486 Nonsense! 199 00:07:20,529 --> 00:07:22,488 If Sammy needs me, I will be here. 200 00:07:22,531 --> 00:07:24,185 I'll put on some coffee. 201 00:07:24,228 --> 00:07:26,404 It should be ready by tomorrow. 202 00:07:26,449 --> 00:07:28,798 - You are a trooper! - You are such a team player. 203 00:07:28,842 --> 00:07:31,714 Way to go! 204 00:07:31,759 --> 00:07:33,978 - Luis! Luis! Luis! - You got this! 205 00:07:34,022 --> 00:07:35,632 - Luis is a bust. - We got nothing. 206 00:07:35,675 --> 00:07:38,243 - We're gonna drown here. - What's the point of him being here? 207 00:07:38,286 --> 00:07:39,723 - I don't know. - He's completely useless. 208 00:07:39,767 --> 00:07:41,942 It's actually worse that he's here. 209 00:07:41,986 --> 00:07:44,640 All right, first we have to make a game plan. 210 00:07:44,685 --> 00:07:46,642 Best thing to do will be divide and conquer. 211 00:07:46,687 --> 00:07:49,166 So one team will take map, and the other... 212 00:07:49,211 --> 00:07:50,995 Time line! Time line! Javi and I call time line! 213 00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:54,303 - Yeah! We got the easy one, honey! Oh! - Yeah! 214 00:07:54,346 --> 00:07:56,801 Well, I guess that puts you and me on the map. 215 00:07:58,176 --> 00:07:59,308 Get it? 216 00:07:59,351 --> 00:08:01,397 Unfortunately, I do. 217 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:03,529 Hey. That's what you said at our wedding. 218 00:08:07,127 --> 00:08:09,343 Does this look like New Jersey to you? 219 00:08:09,971 --> 00:08:12,060 Well, you might want to tape some garbage to it 220 00:08:12,103 --> 00:08:14,468 and put on some Springsteen just to bring it on home. 221 00:08:15,510 --> 00:08:16,890 What are you working on? 222 00:08:16,933 --> 00:08:18,892 Statue of Liberty with a working torch, 223 00:08:18,935 --> 00:08:20,894 so all the kids can light their.. 224 00:08:21,343 --> 00:08:22,983 I don't know, marshmallows maybe? 225 00:08:24,028 --> 00:08:25,986 Okay, slow down over there. 226 00:08:26,029 --> 00:08:28,119 Complicated ideas is what got us into this mess. 227 00:08:28,163 --> 00:08:30,294 - We have to be practical. - No way. 228 00:08:30,338 --> 00:08:32,341 What's the point of doing anything if you don't go big with it? 229 00:08:32,384 --> 00:08:34,604 The point is to actually finish something. 230 00:08:34,646 --> 00:08:36,649 - Yeah. I'm gonna finish it. - Really? 231 00:08:36,692 --> 00:08:38,173 'Cause I've seen into the future, 232 00:08:38,216 --> 00:08:40,566 and five minutes from now, you're gonna be like, 233 00:08:40,610 --> 00:08:44,569 "Oh, statues are hard," and you're gonna play video games. 234 00:08:44,614 --> 00:08:48,312 Uh, no way. Sammy's asleep, and the Xbox is in his room. 235 00:08:48,356 --> 00:08:50,288 Just so you know, I'm in this for the long haul. 236 00:08:50,313 --> 00:08:51,512 The long haul? 237 00:08:51,555 --> 00:08:54,144 That's ridiculous. Remember our first wedding anniversary, 238 00:08:54,188 --> 00:08:57,365 you said we were gonna take a romantic cross-country trip? 239 00:08:57,409 --> 00:08:59,236 What happened? We get to Barstow, 240 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:01,109 - and you call it quits. - Yeah. 241 00:09:01,152 --> 00:09:03,894 The CD player broke. What, we're supposed to drive without tunes? 242 00:09:03,937 --> 00:09:05,808 We could have talked. 243 00:09:05,852 --> 00:09:07,462 Well, now who's being ridiculous? 244 00:09:07,505 --> 00:09:10,813 You are never gonna change. Okay, you always quit 245 00:09:10,857 --> 00:09:12,816 the second that things get tough. 246 00:09:12,860 --> 00:09:14,817 Well, maybe I wouldn't quit 247 00:09:14,861 --> 00:09:16,124 if you showed a little more support. 248 00:09:16,167 --> 00:09:19,170 What?! All I've ever done is support you. 249 00:09:19,213 --> 00:09:20,692 I'm like your... your human jockstrap. 250 00:09:20,736 --> 00:09:22,870 Oh, really? Then why I am always getting hit in the nuts? 251 00:09:22,913 --> 00:09:24,697 - Because you deserve it. - Oh, come on. 252 00:09:24,740 --> 00:09:25,873 You never give me a break! 253 00:09:25,915 --> 00:09:26,874 You don't deserve a break! 254 00:09:26,917 --> 00:09:28,484 You know what? I need a break. 255 00:09:28,527 --> 00:09:30,529 Well, I have to say, the War of 1812 256 00:09:30,572 --> 00:09:32,139 wasn't very creatively named. 257 00:09:32,183 --> 00:09:35,230 I mean, have a little fun with titles, am I right, history? 258 00:09:38,785 --> 00:09:41,049 Oh, what's wrong, mi vida? Usually my quips about history 259 00:09:41,074 --> 00:09:42,771 tickle your funny bone. 260 00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:44,847 Yes, honey, that joke would have killed 261 00:09:44,891 --> 00:09:46,850 at Al Gore's Davos potluck. 262 00:09:46,894 --> 00:09:48,764 Yeah. 263 00:09:48,808 --> 00:09:51,855 It's just, something Barry said last week has been bothering me. 264 00:09:51,899 --> 00:09:54,857 Was it when he called sandwiches "sandos"? 265 00:09:54,902 --> 00:09:56,947 - No. - Oh. 266 00:09:56,990 --> 00:09:58,948 It's when he asked, what if your papá 267 00:09:58,992 --> 00:10:00,568 doesn't give us our money back? 268 00:10:00,611 --> 00:10:02,256 Oh, he's going to. I know it. 269 00:10:02,299 --> 00:10:04,476 Let's just stay positive and finish this time line. 270 00:10:04,519 --> 00:10:07,356 Well... I just think we should have a plan 271 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:09,307 in case we never get our money back. 272 00:10:09,351 --> 00:10:11,395 You know, what's our time line? 273 00:10:11,439 --> 00:10:12,788 Where do we see ourselves in five years 274 00:10:12,832 --> 00:10:14,312 and how do we get there? 275 00:10:14,356 --> 00:10:16,313 Do we pick up more shifts from work, or... 276 00:10:16,357 --> 00:10:18,881 make Bijou a YouTube dog influencer? 277 00:10:18,925 --> 00:10:21,014 There's got to be a way to monetize that face. 278 00:10:23,625 --> 00:10:26,498 My love, in the wonderful history of us, 279 00:10:26,542 --> 00:10:29,587 we will barely remember our budgetary blunder of 2020. 280 00:10:29,631 --> 00:10:32,982 Ah. Now, that's a title. 281 00:10:33,027 --> 00:10:34,288 Come on, Javi. 282 00:10:34,332 --> 00:10:36,769 It used to be if a problem came our way, 283 00:10:36,812 --> 00:10:38,206 we could just throw money at it. 284 00:10:38,249 --> 00:10:41,861 Now we roll our own quarters like animals. 285 00:10:41,904 --> 00:10:43,951 Elizabeth, why are we even talking about this? 286 00:10:43,994 --> 00:10:45,691 Why can't we talk about this? 287 00:10:45,735 --> 00:10:47,692 It's not like the time your mother didn't realize 288 00:10:47,736 --> 00:10:49,913 - her pajammy pants were see-through. - Ouch. 289 00:10:49,957 --> 00:10:53,023 I just want to know that we have a plan. 290 00:10:53,066 --> 00:10:54,178 But we do. 291 00:10:54,221 --> 00:10:55,788 We wait for mi papá to give us our fortune, 292 00:10:55,832 --> 00:10:57,312 and then we live happily ever after. 293 00:10:57,355 --> 00:10:59,792 - Oh, come on, Javi! - You're being delusional. 294 00:10:59,836 --> 00:11:01,868 What? Delusional? 295 00:11:01,911 --> 00:11:03,404 Do you know what's delusional? 296 00:11:03,447 --> 00:11:05,798 Thinking that your vision board is gonna solve our problems. 297 00:11:05,841 --> 00:11:08,105 How dare you bring my vision board into this! 298 00:11:08,149 --> 00:11:09,585 There is no good place to be. 299 00:11:09,628 --> 00:11:11,194 Javi, just because 300 00:11:11,239 --> 00:11:13,370 you want something to happen doesn't mean it will. 301 00:11:13,414 --> 00:11:16,505 You're acting like such a child right now! 302 00:11:16,548 --> 00:11:17,679 Do not call me a child. 303 00:11:17,722 --> 00:11:20,203 Now please hand me the glitter glue. 304 00:11:20,801 --> 00:11:22,119 We have to switch partners. 305 00:11:22,163 --> 00:11:24,164 Right now! 306 00:11:25,644 --> 00:11:28,604 I can't believe Barry said that I never supported him. 307 00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:29,779 I know. 308 00:11:29,822 --> 00:11:31,519 You were like the 12,000-ton cables 309 00:11:31,562 --> 00:11:33,323 that hold up the Golden Gate Bridge. 310 00:11:33,974 --> 00:11:36,885 Oh, my God. I'm actually learning something from this project. 311 00:11:37,291 --> 00:11:39,555 He always comes up with some crazy, unrealistic plan. 312 00:11:39,580 --> 00:11:42,292 When we got married, his savings account 313 00:11:42,317 --> 00:11:43,532 was a handful of lottery tickets 314 00:11:43,575 --> 00:11:45,925 and a binder full of Pokémon cards. 315 00:11:45,968 --> 00:11:48,841 Well, Javi's only plan is just have a positive attitude. 316 00:11:48,885 --> 00:11:50,842 And everybody knows a positive attitude's 317 00:11:50,886 --> 00:11:52,537 never helped anybody. 318 00:11:52,581 --> 00:11:55,630 That is precisely why I don't have one. 319 00:11:55,673 --> 00:11:58,206 And when I ask Javi about a real plan, 320 00:11:58,250 --> 00:12:01,245 he looks at me like I just stole and burned his marionettes. 321 00:12:01,564 --> 00:12:04,175 Which I, of course, would never... 322 00:12:04,551 --> 00:12:06,468 admit to doing. 323 00:12:10,094 --> 00:12:11,748 You're being smart. 324 00:12:11,791 --> 00:12:14,012 I mean, you need a backup plan. 325 00:12:14,301 --> 00:12:17,406 Actually, so do I, 'cause mine's always been 326 00:12:17,449 --> 00:12:18,947 that me and Sammy are gonna move into your guest mansion. 327 00:12:18,997 --> 00:12:22,498 It's all very frustrating. 328 00:12:22,926 --> 00:12:24,891 You know what the most frustrating part is? 329 00:12:25,260 --> 00:12:27,416 I'm out here talking about my feelings, 330 00:12:27,459 --> 00:12:29,862 and Barry probably thinks that nothing is wrong. 331 00:12:30,908 --> 00:12:32,290 I just feel like 332 00:12:32,334 --> 00:12:34,551 she doesn't know that I can hurt, too. 333 00:12:35,162 --> 00:12:36,729 But I know, Barry. 334 00:12:36,774 --> 00:12:39,313 Nothing hurts more than emotional pain. 335 00:12:39,356 --> 00:12:42,213 Really? I fell off a mountain. 336 00:12:45,351 --> 00:12:47,311 The truth is she never supported me. 337 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,040 Didn't she support you financially? 338 00:12:49,065 --> 00:12:50,427 Whose side are you on, man? 339 00:12:50,452 --> 00:12:53,051 Jackie's. Very clearly Jackie's. 340 00:12:53,224 --> 00:12:55,444 It seems not even Elizabeth and I 341 00:12:55,488 --> 00:12:58,098 are above the occasional marital squabble. 342 00:12:58,142 --> 00:13:00,379 - Let it out, bro. - She's mad at me because 343 00:13:00,422 --> 00:13:02,233 I say that things are gonna work out. 344 00:13:02,277 --> 00:13:04,507 But for most of our lives, well, they have. 345 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:06,934 To be fair, in the past, you had money to throw 346 00:13:06,978 --> 00:13:08,501 at any problem that came your way. 347 00:13:08,545 --> 00:13:10,633 Yeah. That's what she said. 348 00:13:11,073 --> 00:13:12,417 Nice, chief. 349 00:13:13,093 --> 00:13:15,638 Oh, no, that's literally what Elizabeth said. 350 00:13:15,681 --> 00:13:17,944 Yeah, she did. 351 00:13:18,945 --> 00:13:20,735 Look, Javi, here's the thing. 352 00:13:20,814 --> 00:13:22,032 Guys like us are dreamers. 353 00:13:22,108 --> 00:13:24,023 When life hands us lemons, we don't get upset. 354 00:13:24,048 --> 00:13:26,616 We sit around and wait for life to hand us something better. 355 00:13:26,673 --> 00:13:29,023 And-and how has that worked out for you? 356 00:13:29,074 --> 00:13:31,093 - Awful, dude. - Oh. 357 00:13:31,698 --> 00:13:32,916 You know what, on second thought, 358 00:13:32,959 --> 00:13:34,483 maybe things with Jackie would've gone better 359 00:13:34,526 --> 00:13:36,311 if I would've just faced our problems 360 00:13:36,354 --> 00:13:38,748 rather than waiting for something good to happen. 361 00:13:40,059 --> 00:13:42,860 _ 362 00:13:43,154 --> 00:13:46,068 _ 363 00:13:46,409 --> 00:13:47,718 Ay! 364 00:13:48,584 --> 00:13:50,325 My Spanish is a little rusty, but did one of you 365 00:13:50,368 --> 00:13:52,010 just offer to make some sandos? 366 00:13:53,719 --> 00:13:55,947 You guys, it's getting really late, 367 00:13:55,991 --> 00:13:57,897 and we're never gonna finish this project. 368 00:13:57,941 --> 00:13:59,683 I think we should call it. 369 00:13:59,726 --> 00:14:01,380 I think we should take it out back 370 00:14:01,424 --> 00:14:02,619 and bury it next to the Marion... 371 00:14:02,664 --> 00:14:03,885 Nothing. 372 00:14:05,992 --> 00:14:07,791 What about Sammy? 373 00:14:07,816 --> 00:14:10,036 We just have to pray that whatever happens tomorrow, 374 00:14:10,061 --> 00:14:12,151 he doesn't turn out anything like Barry. 375 00:14:12,304 --> 00:14:13,652 Agreed. 376 00:14:13,696 --> 00:14:15,699 - Agreed. - Agreed. 377 00:14:23,256 --> 00:14:24,779 Javi, 378 00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:26,911 what are you doing? It's the middle of the night. 379 00:14:26,954 --> 00:14:28,304 Oh. 380 00:14:28,347 --> 00:14:30,131 I couldn't sleep. 381 00:14:30,467 --> 00:14:32,525 And I'm so sorry I called you a nag. 382 00:14:32,967 --> 00:14:34,759 You didn't call me a nag. 383 00:14:35,355 --> 00:14:39,446 Oh. Then I definitely didn't think it, either. 384 00:14:39,488 --> 00:14:41,230 Well, I'm sorry about all the things 385 00:14:41,274 --> 00:14:44,217 I definitely didn't think about you tonight, too. 386 00:14:44,842 --> 00:14:46,060 I'm sorry about everything. 387 00:14:46,105 --> 00:14:47,802 It's just that all of this money stuff 388 00:14:47,827 --> 00:14:49,915 is very scary for me to talk about. 389 00:14:50,550 --> 00:14:52,807 Which is why I prefer to keep my head in the sand. 390 00:14:53,509 --> 00:14:55,201 I am an ostrich. 391 00:14:55,717 --> 00:14:57,203 You're not an ostrich. 392 00:14:57,246 --> 00:14:59,640 I'm a flightless bird with beautiful eyelashes 393 00:14:59,683 --> 00:15:01,728 who hides from his problems. 394 00:15:02,175 --> 00:15:03,731 That's an ostrich. 395 00:15:04,342 --> 00:15:06,429 I love how optimistic you are. 396 00:15:06,472 --> 00:15:08,823 I just want to take that positivity 397 00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:10,346 and put it towards our future. 398 00:15:10,390 --> 00:15:12,131 Yes. I know, mi vida. 399 00:15:12,174 --> 00:15:14,307 And I understand now that I can't wait 400 00:15:14,350 --> 00:15:15,698 for things to fix themselves. 401 00:15:15,742 --> 00:15:17,409 I need to act. 402 00:15:17,452 --> 00:15:20,182 So I started making this. 403 00:15:20,226 --> 00:15:23,184 "Javier and Elizabeth's timeline: 404 00:15:23,634 --> 00:15:25,839 a history of love."Yes. I've included 405 00:15:25,884 --> 00:15:27,886 all of the important moments of our life 406 00:15:27,929 --> 00:15:30,105 plus a vision for our future. 407 00:15:30,509 --> 00:15:32,324 Wow, there's not much space between meeting 408 00:15:32,367 --> 00:15:34,457 and consummating our relationship. 409 00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,509 That was a great day. 410 00:15:37,155 --> 00:15:39,985 It was a great brunch. 411 00:15:40,027 --> 00:15:41,376 Tomorrow, we'll work on a budget 412 00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:43,466 to help us save for our own place, 413 00:15:43,510 --> 00:15:45,860 and I found a great financial planning workshop 414 00:15:45,904 --> 00:15:47,601 at Valley College. 415 00:15:47,644 --> 00:15:49,385 We are a team. 416 00:15:49,429 --> 00:15:51,605 Together, we can get through anything. 417 00:15:52,092 --> 00:15:54,347 You're so sexy when you listen to me. 418 00:16:03,020 --> 00:16:04,479 Hey. 419 00:16:04,834 --> 00:16:05,880 What are you doing up? 420 00:16:05,905 --> 00:16:07,383 I couldn't sleep. 421 00:16:07,408 --> 00:16:09,105 Oh, honey, I'm sorry. 422 00:16:09,999 --> 00:16:11,062 Tub talk? 423 00:16:11,105 --> 00:16:12,585 Yes. 424 00:16:15,979 --> 00:16:18,504 I just feel really bad about my project. 425 00:16:18,547 --> 00:16:20,592 I should have listened to you from the beginning. 426 00:16:20,635 --> 00:16:22,246 A lot of people would be better off 427 00:16:22,289 --> 00:16:24,292 if they had listened to me from the beginning. 428 00:16:25,686 --> 00:16:28,036 Don't feel bad. We'll get through it. 429 00:16:29,104 --> 00:16:31,559 Can you try to go back to bed? 430 00:16:31,604 --> 00:16:33,519 Okay. I'll try. 431 00:16:35,020 --> 00:16:36,522 Good night, Mom. 432 00:16:36,564 --> 00:16:37,870 And don't worry. 433 00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:40,394 Next time, I won't dream so big. 434 00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:43,854 Crap. 435 00:16:51,014 --> 00:16:52,538 Wow. 436 00:16:54,148 --> 00:16:57,716 Are you working on Sammy's project, or is this, like, 437 00:16:57,760 --> 00:17:00,312 the least realistic dream I've ever had? 438 00:17:00,980 --> 00:17:03,549 Mmm, I was thinking about what you said before, 439 00:17:03,591 --> 00:17:04,898 and it's possible 440 00:17:04,940 --> 00:17:07,118 I haven't always been great at following through. 441 00:17:08,206 --> 00:17:09,395 Well, 442 00:17:10,033 --> 00:17:12,558 you did quit going to see our marriage counselor 443 00:17:12,601 --> 00:17:15,168 - 'cause he was a Jimmy Buffett fan. - Well, 444 00:17:15,213 --> 00:17:17,476 not gonna take life advice from a Parrot head. 445 00:17:18,520 --> 00:17:19,738 You didn't like him saying 446 00:17:19,782 --> 00:17:21,783 it's your own damn fault. 447 00:17:23,811 --> 00:17:25,979 Give me that clay. The yellow. 448 00:17:28,843 --> 00:17:30,279 You know, 449 00:17:30,410 --> 00:17:32,687 I don't want Sammy ending up like me, either. 450 00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:36,520 Don't get me wrong. I want his bowling high to be 250. 451 00:17:37,312 --> 00:17:39,145 Not his credit score. 452 00:17:40,187 --> 00:17:41,803 Well, it wouldn't be terrible 453 00:17:41,848 --> 00:17:43,892 if he ended up a little bit like you. 454 00:17:44,562 --> 00:17:45,678 Really? 455 00:17:46,270 --> 00:17:47,897 Yeah. 456 00:17:48,187 --> 00:17:51,118 You're fun, enthusiastic. 457 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,599 I want Sammy to be practical, 458 00:17:53,641 --> 00:17:56,167 but I never want him to stop dreaming big. 459 00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:58,854 Thanks. 460 00:17:59,575 --> 00:18:01,534 All right, let's finish this thing. 461 00:18:03,645 --> 00:18:05,524 - Together. - All right. 462 00:18:06,062 --> 00:18:07,743 It'll be just like that Valentines' Day 463 00:18:07,786 --> 00:18:10,485 when those guys at the bar dared us to finish that keg. 464 00:18:10,528 --> 00:18:12,879 Nobody dared us. We just volunteered. 465 00:18:14,707 --> 00:18:17,709 And then we did it. Together. 466 00:18:27,132 --> 00:18:28,525 Oh, my God. 467 00:18:28,568 --> 00:18:29,916 You finished my project! 468 00:18:33,375 --> 00:18:34,791 Uh... 469 00:18:34,835 --> 00:18:37,533 Yeah. That's right, Sam-Man. 470 00:18:37,577 --> 00:18:39,536 We stayed up all night working on it. 471 00:18:39,578 --> 00:18:41,133 This is awesome. 472 00:18:41,178 --> 00:18:42,756 Look, Sammy, 473 00:18:42,799 --> 00:18:44,584 I always want you to dream big. 474 00:18:44,627 --> 00:18:46,412 You can do anything you put your mind to. 475 00:18:46,455 --> 00:18:49,067 But it's also important that you follow through 476 00:18:49,109 --> 00:18:50,589 and finish what you start. 477 00:18:50,634 --> 00:18:52,156 I learned that last night. 478 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:54,289 - Do you understand? - I do. 479 00:18:54,333 --> 00:18:57,292 Thanks, Mom. Thanks, Dad. 480 00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,119 Aw. Sammy, if you're giving out hugs, 481 00:18:59,164 --> 00:19:00,860 put us down for two. 482 00:19:00,904 --> 00:19:03,254 Did you guys finish the time line for me, too? 483 00:19:03,298 --> 00:19:06,171 We sure did. Ah! 484 00:19:06,213 --> 00:19:08,652 - What does "consummate" mean? - Huh? 485 00:19:08,694 --> 00:19:10,043 - Oh. - Oh, um, 486 00:19:10,087 --> 00:19:12,792 it's a Mexican soup. 487 00:19:14,353 --> 00:19:16,136 Aha! 488 00:19:16,181 --> 00:19:17,964 Awesome. Thanks! 489 00:19:18,009 --> 00:19:19,663 All right, Sammy. 490 00:19:19,705 --> 00:19:21,905 - Let's get you to school. - Oh, we can actually take him. 491 00:19:21,949 --> 00:19:23,927 We're on our way to a financial planning workshop. 492 00:19:23,971 --> 00:19:25,364 Yeah, something that seemed like 493 00:19:25,407 --> 00:19:26,670 a good idea at 4:00 in the morning. 494 00:19:26,712 --> 00:19:29,106 - Bye. - Come on. Bye. 495 00:19:29,150 --> 00:19:30,542 - Get your backpack. - See ya, buddy. 496 00:19:30,587 --> 00:19:31,674 - Yeah. All right. - Bye. 497 00:19:31,718 --> 00:19:32,719 Bye, honey. 498 00:19:32,762 --> 00:19:34,460 Bye. 499 00:19:34,792 --> 00:19:38,376 All right, well, I should probably get going, too. 500 00:19:40,423 --> 00:19:42,990 You know, last night started off a little rocky 501 00:19:43,033 --> 00:19:45,076 but ended up being fun. 502 00:19:45,119 --> 00:19:47,343 Kind of the opposite of our marriage. 503 00:19:48,473 --> 00:19:50,250 But yeah, it did. 504 00:19:57,542 --> 00:19:59,484 Sammy's a great kid. 505 00:19:59,529 --> 00:20:01,574 And I know that's because of you. 506 00:20:02,042 --> 00:20:03,576 Thanks. 507 00:20:04,125 --> 00:20:06,099 And... 508 00:20:06,375 --> 00:20:08,667 maybe this whole co-parenting thing 509 00:20:08,712 --> 00:20:10,757 isn't the worst thing that's ever happened 510 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:13,586 - in the history of the world. - Hmm. 511 00:20:14,250 --> 00:20:17,547 That's, like, the nicest thing you've ever said to me. 512 00:20:17,589 --> 00:20:18,958 Yeah. 513 00:20:23,509 --> 00:20:25,031 - What are you doing? - What are you doing? 514 00:20:25,076 --> 00:20:26,598 - Nothing. Nothing. - Nothing. Me, neither. 515 00:20:26,643 --> 00:20:28,992 - Oh, I thought that you... Yeah. - No. 516 00:20:29,036 --> 00:20:30,690 - You said it. Have a great day. - Yeah. Oh, oh, hey. 517 00:20:30,733 --> 00:20:32,431 - Good to see you. Good to see you. - Good to see you. 518 00:20:32,474 --> 00:20:33,737 Right on. Yeah. 519 00:20:36,608 --> 00:20:39,525 Whoa, that was close. 520 00:20:39,568 --> 00:20:41,208 Tell me about it. 521 00:20:41,962 --> 00:20:44,958 I totally thought you two were going to kiss.