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《愛x死x機器人》

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集名:他能悄悄靠近

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(倫敦,1757年)

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(聖路加精神病院)

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(喬弗里)

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我知道了...

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“因我感受到神的光芒降臨在他身上

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既如暖燭又如烈焰”

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真高興見到你,喬弗里

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(詩人)

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你又去打架了嗎?

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你真是勇敢的紳士

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是啊,當然了

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但我能怎麼辦?

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神要求我翻譯

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那首可以揭示宇宙奧秘的
唯一真理之詩

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不過,我還是很高興有你相伴

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沒有你,恐怕我
早就被魔鬼奪去靈魂了

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(撒旦)

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你好,喬弗里

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我知道你一直在
給我的小惡魔們找麻煩

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你有什麼要辯解的嗎?

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退後,撒旦!

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這裡是我的地盤,我的!

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又有什麼能真正屬於我們呢?

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來吧,喬弗里,我有個提議

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陪我走走好嗎?

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有好吃的哦

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我們就拋開那些繁文縟節吧

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沒錯,我會把地上的王國全都賜給你

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只要你願意對我頂禮膜拜

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不對

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是你要對喬弗里頂禮膜拜

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我就知道你會這樣說

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你身上負著傲慢的罪,貓咪

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我對這宗罪情有獨鍾

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你說會有好吃的

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剛摘下來的貓薄荷

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市場賣的醃火腿

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帶著眼睛的魚頭

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真是美味可口

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但我們必須先達成協議,喬弗里

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我需要你的詩人

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我要你靠邊站,不要干預

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不行

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他是我的,我最愛的寵物

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聽我說,喬弗里

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你得明白,很多人都宣稱自己擁有他

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他就像是一座
被許多債主瓜分佔領的破敗莊園

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他負債於天堂的那位暴君

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還有他的家人朋友

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他也負債於我
因為他年輕時的放浪形骸

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但是,我願意免除他對我的債務

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- 如果你的“寵物”願意為我寫一首詩
- 放我下來!

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老實說,喬弗里

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這個人靠自己寫出來的詩...

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實在不怎麼樣

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在我的指引下,他可以寫出曠世巨作

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詩中之詩

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那些詩句將可以毀天滅地

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我們達成協議了嗎?先生

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怎麼回事?

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不!

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求求你,路西法大人,饒過我的貓

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我什麼都願意做,我發誓!

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非常好

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(中場)

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好極了,先生,好極了

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先生,你不能用“艾”來跟“愛”押韻

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太過陳腐,我不允許

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很好,我喜歡
你第一次引用《論人》的部分

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但第二次就有點像是...在模仿了

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評論家都是撒旦

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但這是絕妙的作品,真的是妙極了

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我提出了一些修改建議

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希望你能斟酌考慮

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但我對你的進步感到很滿意

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請你把文字整理一下

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我明天晚上再來取

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然後我們的交易就結束了

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(巷弄裡的貓)

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怎麼了呀?喬弗里

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你看起來就像被獵犬啃過一樣

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沒錯,但不是獵犬

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而是撒旦

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怎麼了呀?喬弗里

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你看起來一臉狼狽,兄弟

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他跟惡魔打架打輸了,湯姆

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那是肯定的啊

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現在,喬弗里先生
要來求助真正會打鬥的貓了

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我並非來尋求力量,而是尋求忠告

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來了

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暗夜殺手萌萌

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你好,波莉小姐

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你好,湯姆少爺

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你好,喬弗里少爺

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你好,萌萌小姐

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那是牛奶嗎?

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好了,來說正經事吧

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喬弗里少爺有話要說

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你們都聽仔細了

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昨夜,撒旦來到這間瘋人院

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他用美食誘我離開

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好脅迫我的詩人聽命於他

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藉此來奪走他不朽的靈魂

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並且毀天滅地

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真是邪惡的把戲

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確實

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因此

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我...

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我需要你們的幫助

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這件事怪透了,喬弗里,怪透了

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但是...

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如果你想借我的爪子一用,先生

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我願意赴湯蹈火

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不可!

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我們貓族是虎天使的後裔

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虎天使殺了埃及獴

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我們是神的戰士

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因此,我們可以傷害撒旦

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但我們無法殺死他

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要打敗撒旦

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我們必須剝奪他渴望的東西

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那首詩

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一首破詩?他要那個做什麼?

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我知道該怎麼做了

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我們會幫助你

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我們要與他一戰

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至於你,喬弗里

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你該悄悄靠近

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好了,司馬特大師,交出來吧

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就像外科醫生說的

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“最好一次全部拿出來”

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喂!把東西交出來,你這個鄙夫!

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真是的

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我受夠你們這些該死的貓了

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我們不只會撕碎你的長筒襪,先生

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我要扒了你的皮,你這該死的...

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注意用詞

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誰都別想叫我...

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更別說是滿身跳蚤的流浪貓了

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放馬過來吧!

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我乃暗夜殺手萌萌

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放開!

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我們是天使的後裔

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因此

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我們也能在不同世界之間的縫隙遊走

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退下!卑鄙的小貓!

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我乃暗夜殺手萌萌!

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滾回地獄吧,你這個惡魔!

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你們贏不了的

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敢繼續反抗我,就受死吧

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那我們選擇死亡!

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暗夜殺手萌萌!

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非常好

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喬弗里!

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我的詩!

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他的靈魂在那首詩裡面!

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沒錯,的確是

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我會好好保管的

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你在地上的統治也就到此為止了

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消失吧,骯髒的生物!

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你給文學留下了永久的傷痕

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你這隻愚蠢的貓!

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我將讚頌我的貓,喬弗里

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因他能抵禦黑暗的力量

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憑藉他帶電的皮毛與他的火眼金睛

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因他能抵禦惡魔

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嚇退死神

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因他能悄悄靠近

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字幕翻譯:劉怡眉