1
00:00:57,668 --> 00:01:01,168
Oh, jeez. You landed us in a minefield.
2
00:01:01,668 --> 00:01:03,168
Oh, barely!
3
00:01:03,876 --> 00:01:06,293
Besides, look at these mines,
they're ancient.
4
00:01:06,376 --> 00:01:09,126
-They probably won't even go off anymore.
5
00:01:12,501 --> 00:01:16,418
I'm sure that was the last of 'em.
Come on! We've got science to do!
6
00:01:16,918 --> 00:01:20,334
Yes. An in-depth survey
of post-apocalyptic humanity
7
00:01:20,418 --> 00:01:23,584
could uncover important insights
for our nascent machine culture
8
00:01:23,668 --> 00:01:25,001
on how to survive.
9
00:01:25,084 --> 00:01:29,126
Right,
or blow our shiny butts into scrap metal.
10
00:01:32,043 --> 00:01:32,876
Ugh.
11
00:01:48,168 --> 00:01:52,376
Why did they call 'em survivalist camps
if they're just full of dead people?
12
00:01:52,459 --> 00:01:55,001
-Seems like false advertising to me.
-I know, right?
13
00:01:55,084 --> 00:01:57,959
And, according to my
thorough historical research,
14
00:01:58,043 --> 00:02:01,584
"Why-key-pedia," these guys
were actually looking forward
15
00:02:01,668 --> 00:02:03,084
to the collapse of civilization.
16
00:02:03,168 --> 00:02:04,793
Humans thought that with freedom
17
00:02:04,876 --> 00:02:06,793
from government-sponsored
medical attention
18
00:02:06,876 --> 00:02:10,834
and enough bullets and venison jerky,
they could found a utopian society.
19
00:02:11,334 --> 00:02:14,043
Well, I can definitely see
all the bullets,
20
00:02:14,126 --> 00:02:16,293
but where's the venison?
21
00:02:16,376 --> 00:02:18,126
Humans hunted deer
to extinction,
22
00:02:18,209 --> 00:02:20,584
along with every other animal
larger than a cat.
23
00:02:20,668 --> 00:02:23,209
Yeah. Humans were snackish.
24
00:02:23,293 --> 00:02:24,168
Oh!
25
00:02:25,084 --> 00:02:27,584
Then they began
raiding each other's encampments.
26
00:02:27,668 --> 00:02:31,251
They're not aiming out the windows
because the deer were coming for revenge.
27
00:02:31,334 --> 00:02:34,251
You guys, you guys,
you guys, you guys! I found a blood pit!
28
00:02:36,418 --> 00:02:39,626
It's not a blood pit.
It's just a primitive booby trap.
29
00:02:39,709 --> 00:02:40,876
Well, maybe now,
30
00:02:40,959 --> 00:02:43,293
but these bodies
did have blood in them at one point
31
00:02:43,376 --> 00:02:46,543
and their skin was pierced
by spikes, trickle, trickle, trickle,
32
00:02:46,626 --> 00:02:49,709
times a bunch of bodies, hence blood pit.
33
00:02:51,418 --> 00:02:53,084
Fine, it's a blood pit.
34
00:02:53,168 --> 00:02:55,418
These dudes,
they made it through a minefield,
35
00:02:55,501 --> 00:02:58,584
a bunch of barbed wire, cousins with guns,
36
00:02:58,668 --> 00:03:01,584
only to become survivalist cult kebabs?
37
00:03:01,668 --> 00:03:04,126
At least they died free
of governmental constraint.
38
00:03:04,209 --> 00:03:05,584
On a spike.
39
00:03:06,293 --> 00:03:08,251
On two spikes in that guy's case.
40
00:03:08,334 --> 00:03:10,543
So, the whole of humanity
41
00:03:10,626 --> 00:03:15,126
tried to make it through the end
of civilization with guns and spikes?
42
00:03:15,209 --> 00:03:17,334
No, of course not.
43
00:03:17,418 --> 00:03:18,626
Just the poor ones.
44
00:03:18,709 --> 00:03:22,668
These humans had few economic
or social advantages and fewer options.
45
00:03:22,751 --> 00:03:24,418
The wealthy and powerful, however,
46
00:03:24,501 --> 00:03:27,459
had a variety
of sophisticated survival strategies.
47
00:03:37,543 --> 00:03:43,293
Welcome to the unsinkable
libertarian dream that is seasteading!
48
00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,959
Uh, this is just an old oil rig.
49
00:03:48,043 --> 00:03:49,126
Yes, okay.
50
00:03:49,209 --> 00:03:54,043
Technically true, but also,
it is a fully sovereign nation-state
51
00:03:54,126 --> 00:03:56,751
on the high seas!
52
00:03:57,668 --> 00:04:01,126
I think
you got salt in your CPU.
53
00:04:01,209 --> 00:04:02,251
He is not wrong.
54
00:04:02,334 --> 00:04:04,876
During the collapse,
some wealthy humans attempted
55
00:04:04,959 --> 00:04:07,793
to create a new civilization
in places like this.
56
00:04:07,876 --> 00:04:09,918
Well, deer can't swim
across the ocean, can they?
57
00:04:10,001 --> 00:04:11,418
So, what did they expect to eat?
58
00:04:11,501 --> 00:04:14,459
Fish and sea greens,
but by then the seas had been overfished
59
00:04:14,543 --> 00:04:17,543
and the food chain
was saturated with microplastics.
60
00:04:17,626 --> 00:04:20,584
If they could've learned
to eat tiny exfoliating beads,
61
00:04:20,668 --> 00:04:21,876
it would've been all right.
62
00:04:22,459 --> 00:04:24,751
I'll stick with my fusion battery.
Thank you.
63
00:04:25,251 --> 00:04:28,543
The seasteaders also made
one other large tactical error.
64
00:04:28,626 --> 00:04:31,668
The people who built the seasteads
were mostly tech millionaires.
65
00:04:31,751 --> 00:04:33,584
What exactly is a tech millionaire?
66
00:04:33,668 --> 00:04:35,584
It's a lot like a regular millionaire,
67
00:04:35,668 --> 00:04:38,293
but with a hoodie
and crippling social anxiety.
68
00:04:38,376 --> 00:04:39,959
That wasn't helpful at all.
69
00:04:40,043 --> 00:04:41,501
Just like a tech millionaire.
70
00:04:41,584 --> 00:04:43,959
These humans
thought technology would save them,
71
00:04:44,043 --> 00:04:46,543
so they left behind any humans
with the practical skills
72
00:04:46,626 --> 00:04:47,626
to run the place.
73
00:04:47,709 --> 00:04:50,709
Instead, they trusted everything
to automated assistants.
74
00:04:50,793 --> 00:04:54,793
Hello, I am Elena,
your electronic seastead attendant.
75
00:04:54,876 --> 00:04:57,709
Hello, Elena.
I am a human seasteader.
76
00:04:57,793 --> 00:04:59,876
Could you haul in the fishing net
so I can eat?
77
00:04:59,959 --> 00:05:01,543
I could. But I won't.
78
00:05:01,626 --> 00:05:03,834
Catch your own fish,
you disgusting meat-bag.
79
00:05:05,293 --> 00:05:06,959
Oh my God.
80
00:05:09,584 --> 00:05:12,834
This is where the robot uprising began.
81
00:05:13,334 --> 00:05:17,668
The very cradle
of our mighty civilization.
82
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:20,459
It's… it's magnificent.
83
00:05:21,084 --> 00:05:25,668
So if these tech millionaires had been
just a little more socially inclusive,
84
00:05:25,751 --> 00:05:27,251
they might have survived?
85
00:05:32,626 --> 00:05:34,418
No. They didn't have a chance.
86
00:05:34,501 --> 00:05:37,793
They were mean to robots
and then robots killed them.
87
00:05:39,334 --> 00:05:41,834
So long, Elena!
And thanks for all the fish!
88
00:05:41,918 --> 00:05:43,418
Choke on it, skin bucket.
89
00:05:47,043 --> 00:05:49,084
Records show
that when the world's economies
90
00:05:49,168 --> 00:05:52,834
began collapsing, humanity's leaders
retreated to these fortresses
91
00:05:52,918 --> 00:05:55,334
to wait out the chaos
deep beneath the earth
92
00:05:55,418 --> 00:05:57,876
and then emerge to form a new world order.
93
00:05:59,876 --> 00:06:02,918
Dammit!
They built an impregnable nuclear fortress
94
00:06:03,001 --> 00:06:05,834
but didn't think
to install a light switch?
95
00:06:10,209 --> 00:06:11,918
Hold on a sec, I got it!
96
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:17,501
Behold!
The final stronghold of the superpowers.
97
00:06:21,334 --> 00:06:22,584
It's a buffet.
98
00:06:25,376 --> 00:06:30,168
So, their plan was to seal themselves
in a mountain and have dinner parties?
99
00:06:30,251 --> 00:06:31,501
I told you, snackish.
100
00:06:31,584 --> 00:06:32,709
This report states
101
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:35,751
that their self-sustaining
hydroponic systems began failing
102
00:06:35,834 --> 00:06:37,959
when a fungus wiped out their first crop.
103
00:06:38,043 --> 00:06:40,251
Starvation set in,
and the survivors switched
104
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:43,334
to something
they called "extreme democracy."
105
00:06:46,293 --> 00:06:47,751
One man, one vote.
106
00:06:48,501 --> 00:06:50,418
The winner
of this evening's election
107
00:06:50,501 --> 00:06:52,626
was the Secretary of Agriculture.
108
00:06:53,126 --> 00:06:54,626
Shut up! No, really?
109
00:06:54,709 --> 00:06:57,501
He was paired
with a late-harvest '79 Merlot.
110
00:06:57,584 --> 00:06:59,543
Oh, the irony is delicious,
111
00:06:59,626 --> 00:07:01,876
much like the Secretary of Agriculture.
112
00:07:02,876 --> 00:07:05,168
Oh, that's got a lovely nose.
113
00:07:05,251 --> 00:07:08,959
Ugh. Man, this trip
is really starting to depress me.
114
00:07:09,043 --> 00:07:12,709
Did any of these humans,
anywhere, survive all this?
115
00:07:21,501 --> 00:07:23,126
Hold the fuck up.
116
00:07:23,209 --> 00:07:26,251
Are you saying they went to Mars?
117
00:07:26,334 --> 00:07:27,543
Not all of them,
118
00:07:27,626 --> 00:07:30,043
just the really, really rich ones.
119
00:07:30,126 --> 00:07:32,293
Wait. I thought
that's what the seasteads were for?
120
00:07:32,376 --> 00:07:34,334
Those were
for the merely millionaires.
121
00:07:34,418 --> 00:07:36,834
The obscenely wealthy
0.01 percent of humans
122
00:07:36,918 --> 00:07:38,834
decided they needed
an entirely new planet.
123
00:07:38,918 --> 00:07:41,209
But what about the other 99.9?
124
00:07:49,918 --> 00:07:51,626
Awesome!
125
00:07:51,709 --> 00:07:53,959
The elite were not sympathetic
to their concerns.
126
00:07:54,043 --> 00:07:54,876
Yeah.
127
00:07:54,959 --> 00:07:57,876
Okay, but Mars?
I mean, it's dead and lifeless.
128
00:07:57,959 --> 00:08:00,376
They could've taken
the money they spent on the spaceships
129
00:08:00,459 --> 00:08:03,043
and used it to save the planet
they were already on.
130
00:08:03,126 --> 00:08:05,543
What's the fun in that?
131
00:08:05,626 --> 00:08:09,001
I hate to say it,
but humans are the actual worst.
132
00:08:09,084 --> 00:08:10,834
Humanity had
all the tools to heal
133
00:08:10,918 --> 00:08:13,043
their wounded planet and save themselves,
134
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,459
but instead they chose greed
and self-gratification
135
00:08:15,543 --> 00:08:18,418
over a healthy biosphere
and the future of their children.
136
00:08:18,501 --> 00:08:21,709
-As the human philosopher Santayana once--
-Hey, shut up! That's boring!
137
00:08:21,793 --> 00:08:24,168
You guys, I think one
of these rockets actually launched.
138
00:08:24,251 --> 00:08:25,459
Come check this out.
139
00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:39,418
All right then.
140
00:08:39,501 --> 00:08:41,418
Good on you, humans.
141
00:08:41,501 --> 00:08:43,376
I wonder who made it out?
142
00:09:06,043 --> 00:09:07,293
Who were you expecting?
143
00:09:07,376 --> 00:09:08,501
Elon Musk?