[funky music playing]
[Michelle] It's the morning after the ratings,
which means that our players are once again waking up
with a lot more than breakfast on their minds.
Oh. Good morning, Circle.
♪ Over and over and over and… ♪
Good morning, Circle.
[Michelle] Oh yeah, nothing shakes you out of that sweet Circle slumber
like an impending blocking.
Oh man. One of these people is gonna be removed today,
and there will only be seven of us.
We have only blocked one person.
So we have no idea what blocking someone
who's, like, been with us for a while is gonna do to the rest of the group.
This is new.
These friends and relationships that you built
are really becoming your low-key enemies. [giggles]
All is fair in Circle and war, I suppose.
♪ Like a monkey with a miniature… ♪
[Michelle] And even though it's easy for her to say 'cause she's immune
from the blocking, Rachel is appealing to the others for calm.
Okay.
Circle, start a group chat with everybody and call it Morning Meditation.
Argh. Yep. That is too heavy.
[screen dings]
[gasps]
"Rachel has invited you…"
"…to Morning Meditation."
I enjoy a good peaceful meditation every so often.
Message, "Hey, y'all. Sunshine emoji."
"I woke up today feeling a little nervous. I thought some of y'all might as well."
"It might be nice to have a moment of calm before the storm."
She is definitely bringing the ray of sunshine into The Circle,
and I think that is so dope.
Message, "Perfect timing. I just finished a gym sesh."
"#RiseAndGrind."
"I have never meditated before
but am totally down to give this a try with everyone."
"Muscle emoji."
"#MeditationVirgin."
Okay, meditation virgin.
I bet you ain't a virgin in nothing else, Nathan.
It's a good distraction from what's about to happen today.
[exhales]
We could all just take a second to breathe, you know.
Okay, message, "Let's start in a standing position."
"Take a deep breath into your nose and reach both arms above your head."
[ethereal meditation music playing]
[inhaling]
"Exhale through your mouth
and slowly bring down your arms to your side."
Rachel, I am going to take a seat and relax.
"Inhale three counts."
"Exhale for six."
I can only inhale so much.
[exhales, whistles]
"Try to do this a few times,
and hopefully, you'll feel your nerves start to ease."
I feel calm.
Yes, baby. I feel the calmness in my body, honey.
Message, "Am I meant to be feeling like a Buddha? Question mark."
"#ZenForDays. #ThanksRachel." Send.
[screen dings]
[chuckles]
Give us nothing, Nathan.
That's how I feel when I look at Nathan's messages.
Like, "Thanks for all of that nothing that you contributed today."
[Michelle] Someone's centered.
I think this is good. People will think it's kind of funny.
People will think it's kind of dumb. That's exactly what I'm going for.
Message, "If you're feeling it…"
"…do a little stretch."
[Yu Ling] "Have a little shake or dance. Whatever keeps your spirits high."
[John] Feeling good this morning. I like it.
Okay. Perfect. I'm so high-spirited suddenly.
Message, "Baby, I haven't been this calm since I walked into this damn apartment."
"Crying laughing emoji."
"#RachelTheGOAT. #TheCircleCalmDownCoach."
I love that. Oh, that makes me feel good.
I think it's important to give personal information
as much as possible. So, Circle, message…
Oh. Alyssa.
"I feel so much better. I love breathing exercises like this."
"I have struggled with anxiety for a long time, and it surprises me
how much breathing and a strong support system helps."
Oh.
That's really nice that, um, Alyssa kind of opened up a little bit
about struggling with anxiety.
Me too, girl.
Thank you, Circle. My work here is done.
Good stuff. Good stuff, Circle fam.
Definitely feeling the good vibes and the positivity this morning,
and this is exactly what we needed going into such a big day
that is very, very stressful.
This is amazing.
[Michelle] And all that meditating did the job
'cause The Circle is a hive of self-actualized activity.
Yeah, honey, you show that child-sized dumbbell who's boss.
Really got to get into the Nathan mindset.
Working out every day.
Don't stop. Never quit.
Other things that gym bros say.
[upbeat music playing]
[Michelle] And after just forming a throuple a few days ago,
Yu Ling is proving that three is the magic number
-by starting another group chat. -[screen dings]
[shouting] "Yu Ling has invited you to a group chat!"
All right!
Baby, baby, baby, baby!
I really wanna get to know Frank and Crissa,
because from day one,
my gut reaction told me that we would just absolutely vibe together.
I'm so pumped right now.
Message, all caps, [shouting] "Frank and Crissa."
"I've been dying to chat with you both."
"Anytime you're both in a chat, the vibes are always #Immaculate."
"Thought I'd start this real down to Mars chat
to get to know you both better." With the sparkle emoji.
Aw, I love that because I always said
that I felt like Yu Ling had a personality that was outside of this world.
So I love that she's trying to have a chat and get to know us a little better.
Message. Message, message, message, "Yu Ling!" With a bunch of G's.
[spluttering] "Exclamation, exclamation, exclamation."
"From the start of the game, you two have caught my eye,
and I've had your backs without you knowing." [gasps]
"#BrotherFromAnotherMother. #SisterFromAnotherMister."
Oh my God!
Message, "Yu Ling." With the fire emoji. "Baby…"
"…your personality is out of this world,
and I love when you're in a chat with all your comedic humor."
Oh. It's just crazy how vibes just make you feel. It's just… [screams]
Message, "You know, from the beginning,
I wasn't sure how people were reading my energy."
"I know I have a super loud exterior and use humor to navigate through pain…"
"Dot, dot, dot, which can be seen as conceited and shallow. LOL."
"But it's been a journey to overcome the shame I have felt
about my culture, size, and gender."
"Seeing you two being so authentically proud
and unapologetically you is so inspiring."
Well, that is about the sweetest thing I have heard.
I feel like that took a lot, so I definitely wanna let, um, Yu Ling know
that I see her.
Hey, I think she's really been through a lot in her life.
Message, "Yu Ling, I'll be honest and say
I've always felt like you had an amazing personality from the beginning,
but I felt it was taking you a little more to open up."
"But each day I'm seeing more of who you really are at the core,
and you are truly letting your light shine, baby girl."
"#ILoveYourStrength."
With a rainbow heart emoji and a hug emoji. And send.
[Yu Ling] God, I just love that.
Message, "Girl, I was reading your energy! Exclamation. Which kept me alive."
"So, for that, thank you for being you."
"I'm always here for you! Exclamation mark."
I feel really good.
I feel like I am in a safe room with siblings with Crissa and Frank.
Message, "I have so much love for you both."
"Thank you for making my freaking day. Crying emoji, heart emoji." Send.
[Frank] Yes, honey. We are showing the love!
♪ Go, Yu Ling. Go, go, Yu Ling ♪
♪ Go, Yu Ling ♪
Whoo! Go, Yu Ling!
Yes. I love this chat so much.
I would love for us three to take it all the way. Like, real talk.
Well, I wanna win.
But if it's not me, I want one of them two to win.
I really wanted to just get to know Frank and Crissa a little bit better,
and I got exactly that.
Now, I'm beginning to question the alliances that I already have
because they have my back without even saying they have my back.
I feel like, within our trust bubble, I do trust Alyssa.
But Bru hasn't really been giving us a lot of his personality.
He stays extremely diplomatic and doesn't rock the boat.
And for me, that is kind of a red sign
because you're not showing me any of the cards that you actually hold.
[chill music playing]
[Michelle] Yu Ling might be treating The Circle like high-stakes poker,
but she's not the only one with her head in the game
because Bru is about to hit up his bro, Nathan.
Message, "Hey, dude. Being a new player,
I'm sure you're still getting used to things in The Circle."
"Just doing a bro-to-bro check-in. How you feeling?"
I think this is almost a case of, like, keeping him close
because one, he'd be a good ally.
Two, keep an eye on him.
You know, can't be too careful in The Circle.
We're always kinda keeping an eye out for catfish.
So I think having him close is… is smart to monitor it.
Message, "My man, missing my bros back home."
"So I'm stoked that you're checking in. #Bromance."
Well, great start.
Come under my wing, small Nathan, my little bro.
Message, "Can always confide in me with any concerns."
"#BrosInTheCircle. #Brumance." [laughs] Send.
Yes! This is exactly what I wanted.
I wanna come off as naive. I wanna come off as a bro.
I'm gonna lasso you in, Bru,
and I'm gonna bring you on to Nathan's side.
Whoa, wait a second. Nathan messaged,
"Something I've been wanting to tell my new bro
is that Yu Ling slid into my DMs hard. Fire emoji."
"What about you?"
"Any dimes you got your eye on in The Circle? Question mark."
Hold on. Hold on.
Yu Ling told me that
he slid her into her DMs.
The best way to bond with a bro is to talk about girls.
I like to think that Alex is very respectful of women,
where Nathan, you know, he toes that line of being a bit of a dog.
So this is just how I got to play it.
I got to play this really careful 'cause [laughs] my top people are involved.
Message,
"Ooh! Yu Ling is definitely spicy. Fire emoji."
How do I plant a little bit of doubt around his feelings on Yu Ling
without being like…
Like I'm trying to deflect or be like, "Don't trust her"? 'Cause, like…
I'm gonna say, "She loves to flirt, period," and leave it at that.
Like, okay.
That almost hints that, you know, she did it with me, and then I'll be like…
[Alex] Bru, "Ooh, Yu Ling is definitely spicy. Fire emoji."
"She loves to flirt."
"Alyssa and I have been vibing. She's really, really cool."
"How do you think it went with Yu Ling? #Wingman."
Oh man. Everyone really seems to like Alyssa.
Damn. What the hell?
Message, "I was into Yu Ling as soon as I read 'single, devil emoji.'"
"#ILikeThemSpicy."
"I like dem. D-E-M."
Yes. That is beautiful.
Okay, that's all I need to address about Yu Ling at the moment.
"Alyssa seems really cool."
"Did it bug you at all that she was also flirting
with Jared / the Spice Girls? Question mark." Send.
Ooh! Nathan, who are you?
His angle about the Jared-Alyssa thing, crafted it really well.
Something I wouldn't expect from a young, 22-year-old, unemployed college kid.
Hmm.
Message, "To be honest, I wasn't worried at all about Jared. LOL."
Send. I mean, he's playing the game. It's not… This isn't a love show.
Like, we're not trying to find our wives or girlfriends in here.
He's trying to get Yu Ling on his side,
and he's going to do the flirting tactic to get it.
I think this went really good.
I want to feel underestimated.
That way I can slide through blocking after blocking,
and no one will worry about Nathan.
[joyful music playing]
[Michelle] It's a normal day in The Circle.
Crissa is doing something hella cool.
Rachel's doing something hella adorable.
[Rachel] That's cute as hell.
That's the cutest shit I've ever seen.
[Michelle] Momma Carol's gassing herself up.
Wow. Am I impressed with myself?
A little.
[Michelle] And The Circle is about to surprise everyone.
[screen chimes]
Ooh! "Circle Roast."
[laughing]
It's gonna get crispier than these fries up in The Circle.
-[Crissa laughs] -[Yu Ling screams]
"Today's challenge has been set by a very special guest."
More guests?
Hi, guys.
-[Alyssa] Ah! -[Rachel] Hi!
It's me, comedian Nikki Glaser.
I love Nikki Glaser.
The queen of roasting herself?
She is brutal. Pun intended.
When it comes to roasts, there's nobody better than Nikki Glaser.
Your challenge is
to write devastating roast jokes about your fellow Circle players.
We literally have a blocking today, and now you want us to roast each other?
Put your big girl pants on for these.
Let's do battle.
You guys will write the jokes, and I will deliver your jokes.
Shut up. That is next level.
I need to come up with something that stings.
Tell the truth, because if you're calling out
something that everyone notices but no one is saying,
that's the best roast joke.
I want to impress Nikki, so I gotta drop some truth bombs in here.
It's time to stop being nice and start writing roasts.
I mean, I'm mean, but I don't know if I'm funny is the problem here.
Go. Go. Grab a pen and paper and get… get started.
Girl.
Go write jokes now! Go!
Oh shit. Okay, I'll get an-- I need a pen.
I just gotta keep my head on straight and remember that this is Carol
in the game and not John writing these jokes.
Maybe I could say something about her being a MILF.
Oh my God, this is gonna be brutal.
"#GiveUsNothing." [chuckles]
See? I make myself laugh, so that means it has to be a joke.
[Michelle] Words to truly live by.
[rhythmical music playing]
You're done.
I'm done.
I really hope you had some fun writing those roast jokes.
I am really excited to read some of them.
You have no idea what heat's coming.
You might… you might wanna, you know, take some notes.
#ItsOver.
It's done.
[Michelle] It is for now, Frank. The fun part's coming later
when Nikki reads them out loud for everyone.
The roast writing might be done,
but Carol is about to feel a lot more heat as she starts a chat with Alyssa.
And the real Momma Carol? You better put on your earmuffs.
[screen chimes]
"Carol has invited you to a private chat."
That's interesting. I was not expecting that.
The first time we ever talked in a group chat with all the girls,
and I said, like,
um, "I've been married for 30 years. I could use some tips to spice it up."
This is a conversation I think I had to kind of bring up.
I think it shows a fun side of Carol.
Message, "Hi, Alyssa! Exclamation point."
"I feel like this has been such a long time coming."
"I mentioned having to spice it up with my husband, John."
"Do you have any ideas I could take home and surprise him with?"
"Winky-face emoji."
Send.
Oh, interesting! [giggles]
I mean, just like the thought of having this conversation just makes me so…
I don't like it!
But I guess we're finding out what John would do for $150,000.
Message, "Aw, I love it! Exclamation point."
"Of course I have some ideas."
"Some of the best ways to spice it up are the simple things,
and making foreplay something that you do all day is a really fun one."
"Maybe an extra flirty touch in the morning,
a spicy mid-workday text,
and a romantic dinner in the evening
will build anticipation for an extra special night."
Maybe Carol is who she says she is. Because I don't know if I would wanna be
a child on the receiving end of that message.
Mom, I hope somewhere in the world you're taking notes.
[Michelle] I'm taking notes for myself and for your mom.
Message, "If you're coming in for a full assessment,
we would need more information."
"Like how often do you have sex?"
"Do you feel like something is missing from your sex life now?"
Oh, balls.
What am I gonna do? I have to lie.
Like, I don't know anything about this.
[chuckles] I'm so interested to see what she's gonna say.
Message,
"Honey, I am an open book! Exclamation point."
"It's not that we don't have sex frequently."
"I just miss the spark from when we were younger."
"Thank you for these amazing ideas! Exclamation point."
"I knew I could trust you,
and I really appreciate it. Period. Heart emoji."
Send.
I can't believe I just said that. Like…
Holy uncomfortable, Batman.
Message, "I totally understand,
and it's super common in long-term committed relationships,
so you are not alone."
"It is important to connect with your own sexuality,
so next time we chat, I will have to teach you
how to do a vulva hug."
"I promise you won't regret it. Thank you for trusting me with this."
[shouting] What is a vulva hug?
I… I don't even know what that means!
It's all about connecting with your vulva, which is why we have the vulva pillow.
But it's literally just one hand, one hand and you just, like, hold for a while,
and then you just can, like, take deep breaths and feel grounded.
Message, "You just put the biggest smile on my face! Three exclamation points."
"I know that we're both very far from home,
but something about talking to you brings me right back there. Heart."
"That's why I really wanted you here
when I went into the first influencer chat."
[whispering] Interesting.
It's super important to just give her that nugget of information
to know that I've always had her back even without having this one-on-one,
so that she feels the same way if she ever has some power.
It sounds like she's trying to communicate to me
that she had a big hand,
if not made the entire decision, to keep me here.
Message, "I am so glad that I remind you of home
because you do the same for me."
"I had a feeling that you were the reason I stayed in our first blocking,
and I can't tell you how much I appreciate that."
"Us spicy meatballs have to stick together. #Famiglia."
Oh my God. Wow.
That was the best response we could have ever got.
And the #Famiglia, like, that's the same name
as my family group chat at home.
I feel good about Carol. I felt good about Carol before,
and now I feel even better because now I know
that she played a big part in keeping me here in our first blocking.
So that solidified that I can trust her, even if she is a catfish.
And now I know about her sex life.
[upbeat music playing]
[Michelle] While Carol, aka John, thinks about what he just shared
and wonders why he didn't just apply to be on Family Feud,
Bru is trying to figure out the puzzle that is Yu Ling.
-[screen chimes] -[gasps]
"Bru has invited you to a private chat."
I gotta touch base with my girl Yu Ling,
who has been sniffing around with Nathan, my Circle bro, earlier.
Just wanna remind her who's, like, top dog here.
Message, "Yu Ling, my darling," [chuckles] with like a dash of the middle.
[giggles] "I wanted to say hi and say I was thinking about you."
"How are you?"
This is very sweet, but what are your intentions?
"Aw, I've been thinking about you too."
"What's up?" And heart emoji. [sighs] She's been thinking about me.
It's all good. But I know you've been thinking about somebody else, Yu Ling.
All right, message,
"I love our Throuple Chat, comma,
but sometimes talking to two girls makes me too nervous,
so I'm focusing in on you. Y-U."
The little blushing covering mouth emoji, fire emoji.
"Not much here."
"Just changed into this bright shirt
that reminded me of your amazing personality."
"By the way, this shirt is boyfriend material. Winky face." Send.
I… I can't tell if he's, like, actually hitting on me,
or if he's, like, just trying to make a joke.
Are you making a pass at me? Are you actually interested,
or is this your way of, like, trying to stay in the game?
Message, all caps, "Okay! Exclamation marks."
"I see you, Bru."
"Glad to see you are practicing your flirting techniques."
"Don't worry about being nervous around me. I don't bite. Devil emoji."
"I've been meaning to get to know you a little bit better… Dot, dot, dot."
"You have always been such a sweet personality,
but I want to know the true Bru. Eyes emoji."
"Tell me something I don't know about you."
I really like that she wants to, you know, learn more about me
and why I am the way that I am.
Message, "I love that! Exclamation point."
"To kind of go deeper on the whole nervous thing,
it's really about issues I've had with self-confidence and insecurities."
"I feel like we've all experienced being judged
and unfairly mislabeled in life,
but getting to know people deeper has really helped me relieve that."
"I'm glad I don't have to be nervous around you." Send it.
Aw!
Message, "Bru, my heart. Heart emoji."
"Trust me, you're not the only one here who's extremely awkward."
"I actually find it extremely endearing."
"I'm on the same page with you
in regards to self-confidence and insecurities."
"We all have them. I'm navigating them on a daily basis."
"At the end of the day,
putting yourself out there is the bravest thing one can do."
"Just remember to add gas 'cause I'm rooting for you." Send.
It's just really nice. I wasn't expecting it.
I wasn't expecting to be so deep into things with Yu Ling in this chat.
When I was gonna ask her, "Hey, what's up with Nathan?"
Now, I'm like, "Who?" Not even worried about that at all.
This is fantastic and really, like she said, endearing stuff.
Bru has definitely opened up,
and I'm so glad that he's been vulnerable with me today.
What was previously a super just strategic alliance
and was there out of convenience and like, "Great. This is smart."
I feel a lot more confident that I do know Bru.
He is a little bit shy.
He does need a little bit more of that encouragement.
And I totally know where he's coming from.
[Michelle] Aw, flirting, opening up. I see a cute friendship bru-ling.
And as evening closes in, the players are looking surprisingly calm
considering they have ratings results, a roast,
and the blocking hanging over them.
See the difference?
If it sticks, I will not be blocked tonight.
Okay, that's… that's just a test.
[Michelle] Circle, make 'em say…
[alarm blares]
-"Alert!" -"Alert"?
Oh shit!
Whoo! My heart is… Boom, boom, boom, boom.
"The rating results are in."
This is quite a shock. I thought the roast would happen first.
[Michelle] Keep your Tommy Bahama shirt on, Nate. Remember, as a newbie,
you and Rachel are immune to this blocking.
Hope you guys got your breathing exercises ready. We'll need them for this.
-[sighing] -[Alyssa] Okay.
Whoo, child. The nerves.
Let's do it.
-Circle, take me to the rating results. -Rating results.
[intense music playing]
Ah! Shit, baby!
Sixth.
If I'm sixth, somebody's been lying.
Ooh. Sixth place. Don't be me.
If I'm last, I know it's not the end of the world,
but man, will it feel like it for a while.
If you're in sixth place, they want you out.
Crissa?
Oh God.
What in the fuck?
Someone's leaving tonight.
And I can't have it be me.
I was just so sure that Crissa would be at the top.
She was the person I was most worried about being an influencer.
I am relieved.
Fourth is a tie.
Oh wow.
Oh my God. I'm about to shit!
I would not be mad at all if I were tied for fourth.
Who's this? Please don't be Frank and Yu Ling.
I'm really hoping to see Alyssa's name as one of these two.
Okay, it's… Oh no! It's me and Momma Carol. Oh no. Okay.
Well, this isn't what I wanted to see whatsoever.
I don't like that I'm this low in the game. Uh. It's really upsetting.
Did Nathan rank me low? Yu Ling? Alyssa? Momma Carol? It doesn't really add up.
Bru and I were-- are obviously tight,
and it's just like a bummer that we're in it together.
That leaves three players left.
Me, Frank, and Alyssa.
[Alex] All right, third place.
If Frank's third, that's good. I'd feel… I feel 100% safe with Alyssa and Yu Ling.
Oh my God.
I'm genuinely not sure who it's gonna be.
Alyssa.
And it's…
Alyssa! [shouting] No!
Okay. I'm okay with that.
I am…
an influencer.
Frank's in third. That is huge. That means Yu Ling and Alyssa are up top.
[screaming]
I'm glad that I'm not an influencer, but I'm really worried now about Crissa.
I'm so excited I could pee my pants!
I am both flattered and now terrified.
What the hell?
[groaning]
I'm so excited!
It's me and Yu Ling!
[music intensifying]
[shouting, laughing] What?
[shouting] What? I'm first? What?
Yay!
Oh! Oh my God! I don't want it, but I want it.
I'm first!
Yu Ling, good for you!
[Crissa] That gives me hope.
Oh, lord knows I need hope.
Yu Ling has jumped over everybody,
and I hope that I'm on the list of people she wants to save.
I just hope that the girls remember who kept them in the game the first time.
I've told them both that I've done that.
Oh, I'm praying that they don't send home Momma Carol.
[suspenseful music playing]
We look cute with blue check marks.
I'm a freaking influencer.
[laughing nervously]
Please, Yu Ling, have my back.
I don't know where Yu Ling's head is at,
but we have to get rid of somebody together.
I love winning.
It is just gonna absolutely break my heart to have to send one of these people home.
[music stops]
[rhythmical music playing]
[Michelle] After the excitement of another ratings,
the players are taking advantage of our facilities to eat dinner.
And while they digest that,
let's give them something that might be a little tougher to swallow.
[screen beeps]
[gasps] "Circle Roast!" It's back.
Oh no. If it isn't the consequences of my actions.
Now that I know the ratings, they about to go ham on me.
I should have had me a little popcorn for this.
Hey, guys.
I hope you had fun writing roast jokes.
It's hard, right?
Well, honestly, looks like we've got some comedians in The Circle.
[Alex] Oh God.
And also some people that should never do comedy ever again.
Like, we should ban you from ever trying to make a joke. You'll see.
Are you talking about me?
Oh my God. If Nikki likes my jokes, I will simply pass away.
She's a roasting legend. She's gonna be so mean. [chuckles]
[Michelle] That's how roasts work, boo boo. But now, I'm passing the mic
over to my fellow comedian and roast queen, Nikki Glaser.
Let's start with Carol.
Come on, dude. Like, talk about once-in-a-lifetime.
Yes, Carol!
Carol could try to be bad on purpose.
Her jokes might come off a little, like, grandma-ish.
"Frank, [sighs] you had me at titties and Tequila."
-Okay. -Yes, dude.
"And Frank, actually, you have the nicest titties of anyone in The Circle."
Oh shit!
I know that's right.
"I don't really know what that says about Alyssa, Crissa,
Rachel, Yu Ling, and I, but maybe I should have been
-drinking tequila the whole time." -[laughing]
I love that one!
"Nathan, I do know that you've been looking for a job,
and boy, do I miss my husband."
"So I've been looking for someone to come over and make me tea,
and just massage my feet if you're interested."
[laughing] Carol.
Very cute, very Carol.
Come on. Give me some good feedback, Nikki Glaser.
Oh, Carol, I could tell that you were in your 60's just by your name,
but also just the way you wrote your jokes read like a text I got from my mom.
Just like, what is the point of this?
This is very long-winded and adorable. But [spluttering] no one needs this.
Yes! We did everything we wanted to do. I wrote a literal roast as my mom.
It was supposed to read like it was a mom sending a text message.
This is incredible.
Next up, Crissa's roast.
That's right, baby!
Okay. I feel like it's gonna be funny.
She seems like one who doesn't hold back.
"Carol, please let me be the daddy to your mummy,
'cause, girl, you're a MILF."
[silence]
Bow! Ha!
Oh Lordy.
"Jinkies! I think I found the Spice Girls catfish."
"Oh, wait. No. That's just Alyssa, the IG model."
Whoo!
Take that, Alyssa.
[John] Yikes, Shaggy.
Oh, Crissa.
We had an hour to write these.
The silence is deafening.
I think I did okay.
Crissa, your roast was probably the biggest struggle for me to deliver
because I think maybe it read like you speak.
I mean, saying that Carol is a MILF, that's not so much a punchline.
You could've replaced an F. You know, You could've said, "You're such a MILF,
and by that, I mean a mom I'd like to forget."
-Oh. -Fair.
Not a good roast. That was a big ol' compliment session.
I think people are roasting strategically and not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings.
I'm just getting burned left and right today.
Okay, next up is Frank's roast.
That's me!
Which is actually a rap.
Oh no. Nikki has to rap?
All right, let's see what this is. [clears throat]
I'm nervous for this one.
"Let's start with Alyssa, she's really cool."
"And she definitely knows how to make all the boys drool."
[silence]
God.
Oh boy. [laughing] That's cute.
"Crissa is my girl, and that's a fact."
"But I really wish she'd come and hit me from the back."
What?
Bars, baby, bars!
None of this is a roast.
"And Nathan is the newbie that nobody hates. And I really think him
and Alyssa should go on a date."
That's not bad. I'll take that.
I will not be going on a date with Nathan. I'll just clear that up right now.
I thought Nathan was flirting with me.
I'm nervous for Frank. I'm… I'm, in fact, scared for Frank.
Frank, your roasts were not a roast.
Oh girl.
You wrote a rap, and not even a good rap.
She's right.
I'm glad she's calling out the fact that nobody's frickin' roasting here!
Frank was trying to kiss ass.
Girl, please. My rap was killing, honey.
You failed, Frank.
You failed.
Next up, Nathan's roast.
All right. Hope you deliver my jokes properly, Nikki.
I think Nathan's got frat-boy humor written all over him,
and it might come across, like, pretty bad.
Bru, honestly, I wasn't that surprised when I heard what you do for a living.
I mean, look at you. You've got such a face for radio.
Oh! The burn is real.
Oh, that's good. Yeah, I've only heard that about 3,000 times this year.
Yu Ling, I'm real glad you get pleasure out of disappointing your mother
because she is going to be devastated when you bring me home.
[screaming]
Go ahead! Shoot your shot, boy!
I guess there's a little flirting going on. Got ya.
I think this was a success.
Nathan. [grunts]
The only joke in here that was good was a joke that you didn't write,
a face for radio.
[groaning]
The best joke you wrote was the one
where you thought that Yu Ling was gonna bring you home to her mom.
You're not gonna do that, Yu Ling, are you? No.
I will be bringing him home, but not to Mom.
Roasted by Nikki. Here, I thought I did so well.
That was funny, Nathan. Don't you listen to her.
Next up, it is Alyssa.
Yay!
Hit me with your best shot.
Carol says she loves baking,
but maybe her cake was so disappointing
because she Mrs. Doubtfire-d it before taking the picture.
Mrs. Doubtfire was a man playing an older woman.
Is she calling Carol a catfish?
Brutal.
"Crissa always says she has balls,
but really she doesn't even have the balls to give us anything more
than being the peanut gallery in our group chats. #GivingUsNothing."
Whoa.
I was not expecting that.
That one's a little spicy.
I would be sweating if I was Crissa right now.
She came for heads. She didn't have any remorse.
Alyssa, your roasts were thoughtful, descriptive, and not bad for a beginner.
[screaming]
I actually think Alyssa did better than I thought she was gonna do.
My Crissa one sounded so much meaner when Nikki said it,
and I'm really glad I'm an influencer.
Next up is Bru's roast.
Oh, get ready, people. It's going down.
I'm expecting these to sting.
"Oh, Rachel. Do you think you've been ghosted so many times
that you just decided to start hanging out with actual ghosts instead?"
Yes! That's a good one!
[laughing] The answer is yes. He's not wrong.
Oh! Dude! Bru's bringing heat.
That was good, Bru.
"Yu Ling, gosh, is there anything smaller than you?"
"Oh, wait. I know. Your mom's faith that you'll be a success."
-[Frank] Ooh! -[John] Wow.
[Frank] The girl is bringing it!
Whoo-wee!
He killed it! I'm so happy.
I was not expecting him to be so good at this!
You gonna come at Yu Ling like that, and she's number one as an influencer?
Are people offended right now? Sorry, not sorry.
Bru, this was great.
I can tell that you are a funny guy, and you know how to write a joke,
and I hope I delivered them up to your standards. Good job.
-[Bru] Snap, crackle, and pop! -[John] Well done, sir.
Next up, we have Yu Ling's roast.
Let's go, Yu Ling, bring some fire. Come on, add gas.
We know your phrase. Add gas!
"Rachel always brings the Zen to The Circle,
and she has never failed to send me into deep REM sleep."
[laughing]
Fair enough.
At least it's mean.
"Frank, you glow from head to toe,
but you must have some skeletons in your closet that we don't know."
What? What's the point of that joke?
That one was kind of ominous. What does that mean?
I might have some, girl.
Yu Ling, listen, roasting isn't for everyone,
and it's definitely not for you.
I know you're small,
but so is the part of your brain that knows how to write jokes.
Completely accurate.
And finally, it's [inhales] Rachel.
Oh God.
"I'm glad we started the day on such a positive note."
"Let's ruin that, shall we?"
Ooh.
"Let's start with an affirmation."
"I am not a catfish. Okay?"
"Seriously, a little louder, Carol."
Whoa.
"I am not a catfish."
"After that vote for most strategic,
you're gonna need a little more cosmic energy coming your way."
-Holy shit. -Whoo, baby.
-This is what I'm talking about. -She's coming at me.
They did, you know, vote her most strategic in the game.
So that's what I'm going off of.
"Even if you are a strategic player, it's not, like, the worst thing."
"Right, Nathan?"
"I actually heard you were campaigning pretty strongly against me
in the Spice Girls vote."
Ooh!
"Maybe you could be a politician. You've certainly got the hair for it."
Ooh, Rachel went hard!
It's good that he knows that I know that he was talking. You know?
She brought up that I had campaigned against her in the Spice Girls vote.
Damn, the Spice Girls threw me under the bus to Rachel.
Rachel, I love that you actually made fun of yourself in your own roast
by beginning with an affirmation
and then going pretty hard on old Momma Carol.
Everyone else was really kind to her and like, "You're old. Ha, ha, ha."
You were like, "You're deceptive and kind of a bitch."
Okay, that's feedback I can handle.
Those were spicy.
You know, I've kinda gotta play it as I get why she thinks that I'm a catfish,
but I have trust in the game. She doesn't.
Could be a pretty glaring move.
[Michelle] Our hostess with the mostest has roasted.
Now we find out who's the top torcher.
That was brutal, and not just for me to read.
Some of those jokes were actually pretty brutal.
You all did such a good job, which is what they told me to say to you.
I'm kidding. You really did a good job.
No, we didn't.
Unfortunately, there can only be one winner. And that person is…
Bru.
Whoo!
Good job, Bru!
Okay.
I thought your jokes were original, they were funny,
and turns out, you're a real dick.
Got called a dick by Nikki Glaser. I made it.
Well, I'm glad she didn't say that about me.
Guys, thank you so much for having me. I had so much fun.
I'm really proud of some of you, and the others…
Bye.
Bye, Nikki. Ah!
If I won that, I would be shitting my pants
so nervous that people were gonna, like, take me out of the game immediately.
Still can't get over the fact that Rachel directly calls Carol a catfish.
Rachel, I hope you didn't unpack because might be a pretty short stay.
[Michelle] Damn, Carol. Save those zingers for the next roast.
[mellow music playing]
After a filling flambé of torched players with a side of roasted catfish,
the players are on high alert.
Well, I guess it's a great time for one of these, then.
[alarm blares]
"Alert!"
Oh no!
Oh no. No, no, no.
What do you want, Circle? What is it now?
"It's time for the influencers to decide which player to block."
All right, let's get to it.
I can't believe it's me.
[screaming]
It's in their hands now.
"As new players, Rachel and Nathan are immune from this blocking."
Thank you.
I'm chillin' like a villain tonight. I'm gonna sleep like a baby.
"Yu Ling and Alyssa must go to the Hangout to make their decision."
All right, girls, keep Frankie baby in the game a little longer.
I feel good about this blocking. I mean, these are… these are my top two alliances.
We have to both decide who we're gonna send home,
and I just have no clue who that's gonna be.
So, let's do this thing.
I am so excited. Let's do this.
Yu Ling, Alyssa, enjoy the Hangout.
You're gonna come out feeling about 80 years older,
but hopefully, you make the good decision and you keep me around,
because I got your back.
I feel like I made a good impression on Yu Ling, but could Alyssa
want me out so bad that she persuades Yu Ling to block me?
They have a huge decision to make.
[music fades, intensifies]
-[Yu Ling gasps] -[Alyssa gasps] This is so beautiful.
Oh, damn!
I have the influencer book.
Okay, this is sexy. This is a sexy room.
[somber music playing]
I'm a woman with a plan,
so hopefully, Yu Ling will also be on board.
I feel like I really trust Alyssa, so I will share my opinions openly.
Ah! Okay. Circle, message,
in all caps, "My comeback queen."
"There is literally no one else I'd rather be in the Hangout with."
"Crying emoji. Heart emoji."
Message, "Alyssa, I am so happy that you and I are influencers."
"I wouldn't want to be here with anyone else."
"#ThisIsWild. #AndUnexpected."
I can't wait to see how this goes. Truly.
Okay, message, "I totally agree."
"Maybe we should start with Bru."
Bru is good for my game right now
because obviously, he is our one solid mutual alliance
that Alyssa and I both have.
So I feel like he will be loyal to us,
granted that, you know, we're loyal to him.
Message, "Yes. Bru is part of our #Throuple,
and he opened up to me in a one-on-one chat today."
"…after he attempted to flirt." Ah!
"He is very sweet,
and I know we said us three are in a #TrustBubble."
"What do you think?"
Message…
"I absolutely," all caps, "adore him,
and I'm so happy we've built our little trust bubble."
All right, so clearly Bru is off the table.
So that just leaves Crissa, Frank, and Momma Carol.
Message, "What are your thoughts on Frank?" Send.
Message, "Frank has always given me amazing energy."
"He's very popular,
and it could mean that some folks would get on our bad side
if he were to go." Send.
Message, "I 100% agree about Frank."
"I haven't gotten the chance to personally connect with him yet,
but I love his energy too."
"I really wanna keep him in the game and get to know him better."
"I think we both want to keep Frank."
Yes. I think this is true.
Message, "Shall we discuss Crissa?"
I do wanna keep Crissa, but I need to see what Alyssa's saying.
She's the person that I have the least connection with.
Like, I have literally no connection to her because she doesn't let anybody in.
It's so disappointing.
Alyssa, "Honestly, I have almost no relationship with Crissa
because she shares nothing… Dot, dot, dot."
"She holds her cards too close to her chest,
so I don't think she'll ever gain genuine trust from me at least."
Whoa. I mean, obviously, that is what Alyssa said in her roast.
I contribute information so that people know things about me.
So clearly, sharing helps people trust you.
Message, "Wow."
"That is so wild because she said to me and Frank today
that she has had our backs without us even knowing." Send.
"She's had our backs without us even knowing."
Sounds like an empty promise 'cause she wasn't an influencer.
She wasn't ever in any place of power.
Message, "Dot, dot, dot. …What are your thoughts on Momma Carol?"
Send message.
I'm so interested to see what she says about Carol.
For me, this "dot, dot, dot,"
there's some coded emotion there.
I think she was kind of, "What are your thoughts on Momma Carol?"
I think we all want to trust her, but it's hard
because everything in us is saying, like, "She's a catfish. Don't trust her."
Message, "Okay, this one is definitely going to put me through the wringer."
"Momma Carol came to me after the first blocking,
and said she was the one who saved me."
[music intensifies, stops]
Interesting.
[music continues]
Message, "That is so crazy because Carol literally had
the same conversation with me earlier today."
[gasps]
[Yu Ling] "And now I'm wondering if that was true."
"I'm… am 90% sure she's a catfish,
but if she will continue to be loyal to us and keep us in the game,
I don't really care who is on the other end of the screen."
Oh!
Oh! [laughs]
Yo.
I can't believe Carol did that.
It just makes me nervous. Like, it gives me a bad feeling about her.
Carol's out here just lying to everybody.
Message, "We do, unfortunately, have to make a decision tonight." Send.
We have to think about what is best for…
the future of our game here.
Carol has just been called out as a catfish.
Crissa is my friend,
but it's true that she's currently rated sixth,
and there has got to be a reason she's ranked so low.
[music stops]
[serene music playing]
"I think we've made our decision." Send.
Message, "I do."
[screen beeps]
Oh man.
It sucks. Like, I don't feel good about it.
I wanna be, like, a strong player,
and I wanna, like, you know, do what's best for my game.
That's what I came here for, but, like, it sucks.
[Michelle] And it's about to suck even more for someone else.
[ominous music playing]
[alarm blares]
-"Alert." -"Alert!"
Any way you splice it, any way you cut it up,
someone's losing an alliance tonight.
"Influencers have made their decision."
Ooh, child. Lord, lord, lord.
Yes, we have.
I wanna know so bad, but I don't wanna know so bad.
God, I hope that it's not me.
"Yu Ling, as the top-rated player, you must now deliver this news."
"Face to face!"
[music intensifying]
Oh! What?
Holy shit.
[sighs]
Is this some sick joke?
[music fading out]
[theme music playing]