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00:00:01,637 --> 00:00:03,908
[upbeat rock music]
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00:00:03,908 --> 00:00:05,344
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
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00:00:05,344 --> 00:00:07,649
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff,
ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
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00:00:07,649 --> 00:00:09,185
♪ ♪
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00:00:09,185 --> 00:00:11,389
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
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00:00:11,389 --> 00:00:13,961
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff,
ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
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00:00:13,961 --> 00:00:15,598
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
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00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:17,101
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
- ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
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00:00:17,101 --> 00:00:18,771
- ♪ Ruff, ruff ♪
- ♪ Meow, meow ♪
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00:00:18,771 --> 00:00:20,508
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
- ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
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00:00:20,508 --> 00:00:22,946
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
- ♪ Meow, meow, meow ♪
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00:00:22,946 --> 00:00:24,516
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
- ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
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00:00:24,516 --> 00:00:27,488
[music crescendos]
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00:00:27,488 --> 00:00:33,935
♪ ♪
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00:00:33,935 --> 00:00:35,872
[jazzy music]
16
00:00:35,872 --> 00:00:37,308
[chuckles]
17
00:00:37,308 --> 00:00:38,176
Ooh.
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00:00:38,176 --> 00:00:40,848
Swiping while we wait
for our date?
19
00:00:40,848 --> 00:00:42,051
[laughs]
20
00:00:42,051 --> 00:00:43,921
We are being so bad.
21
00:00:43,921 --> 00:00:45,959
Yeah, I love
that Jill keeps setting us up
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00:00:45,959 --> 00:00:47,494
on all these playdates.
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00:00:47,494 --> 00:00:48,430
She's so selfless.
24
00:00:48,430 --> 00:00:50,267
If only she got
something out of it.
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00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:51,737
[harp flourish]
- Mmm.
26
00:00:51,737 --> 00:00:52,939
Oh, my turn! My turn!
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00:00:52,939 --> 00:00:54,843
Okay, I would hump Cujo,
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kill Toto,
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00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:57,214
and marry Marley.
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00:00:57,214 --> 00:00:59,318
- Aww.
- For the insurance.
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00:00:59,318 --> 00:01:00,722
[sniggering]
- Yeah! [sniggering]
32
00:01:00,722 --> 00:01:03,093
Oh, no!
[laughing]
33
00:01:03,093 --> 00:01:05,665
So I thought this app
was just for dog owners.
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00:01:05,665 --> 00:01:07,736
We used to have a dog.
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00:01:07,736 --> 00:01:08,738
[dramatic musical sting]
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00:01:08,738 --> 00:01:10,207
Cool, cool.
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00:01:11,175 --> 00:01:12,913
Would you like
some more Beggin' Strips?
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00:01:12,913 --> 00:01:14,750
We don't know it's not bacon.
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00:01:14,750 --> 00:01:15,952
I'm trying to work here.
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00:01:15,952 --> 00:01:17,856
A little to the right.
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00:01:17,856 --> 00:01:19,125
Ooh!
[harp flourish]
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00:01:19,125 --> 00:01:20,862
Can't wait to see who's next.
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[motorcycle revving]
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00:01:21,830 --> 00:01:23,033
Ooh.
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00:01:23,033 --> 00:01:24,569
[hard rock music]
46
00:01:24,569 --> 00:01:25,605
[tires screech]
47
00:01:25,605 --> 00:01:27,474
What up, doggos?
48
00:01:27,474 --> 00:01:28,878
Oof.
49
00:01:28,878 --> 00:01:29,846
Aw, man!
50
00:01:29,846 --> 00:01:31,517
Ooh.
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00:01:31,517 --> 00:01:32,719
I'm Banshee!
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00:01:32,719 --> 00:01:33,888
[retches]
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00:01:33,888 --> 00:01:35,758
Does anyone want in on this?
54
00:01:35,758 --> 00:01:37,227
This guy is awesome!
55
00:01:37,227 --> 00:01:38,330
- [slurping]
- He seems like a lot.
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00:01:38,330 --> 00:01:40,467
But at least he brought snacks.
- Mmm.
57
00:01:40,467 --> 00:01:43,541
And I think
what I'm realizing is,
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00:01:43,641 --> 00:01:47,181
I haven't been angry at all
of the animals I've murdered.
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00:01:47,181 --> 00:01:49,686
I've actually just
been angry at my--
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00:01:49,786 --> 00:01:51,155
is this annoying anyone else?
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What, me?
I'm just up here
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00:01:52,859 --> 00:01:54,028
getting used to the altitude.
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00:01:54,028 --> 00:01:56,065
Long story,
I'm a purse dog now.
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00:01:56,065 --> 00:01:57,468
I guess it wasn't
that long of a story.
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00:01:57,468 --> 00:01:59,372
Wait, wait, wait,
you're a purse dog?
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00:01:59,372 --> 00:02:01,042
Actually,
if we could go back,
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00:02:01,042 --> 00:02:02,378
Nibbles was on the verge
of a breakthr--
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00:02:02,378 --> 00:02:04,048
Too late!
They all deserved to die.
69
00:02:04,048 --> 00:02:05,150
Yeah, yeah. Who cares?
70
00:02:05,150 --> 00:02:06,987
Spill the purse beans.
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00:02:06,987 --> 00:02:09,125
Well, it all happened
so fast.
72
00:02:09,225 --> 00:02:11,429
This is all happening so fast!
73
00:02:11,429 --> 00:02:13,166
See?
I always thought I'd be
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00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:14,536
on the outside looking up,
75
00:02:14,536 --> 00:02:17,542
but now I'm on the inside
looking down.
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00:02:17,542 --> 00:02:20,982
You know,
I'm actually 1/64 purse dog
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00:02:20,982 --> 00:02:22,919
on my 20 times
great-grandmother's side--
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00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:24,990
one of the first purse dogs, actually.
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00:02:24,990 --> 00:02:27,595
Carried around
in a horse's bladder.
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Yeah, I know.
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00:02:28,631 --> 00:02:29,800
Now if we are done
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00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:31,069
with opening remarks,
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00:02:31,069 --> 00:02:32,304
the keynote speaker has
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00:02:32,304 --> 00:02:34,141
important announcement to make.
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00:02:34,141 --> 00:02:36,179
This weekend, I, Tabitha,
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00:02:36,179 --> 00:02:38,584
will be vying
for my seventh title
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00:02:38,584 --> 00:02:41,255
as Pretty Kitty Kitty Litter's
Prettiest Kitty
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at the Pretty Kitty Kitty
Litter Pretty Kitty Cat Show.
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00:02:43,594 --> 00:02:45,430
Really?
Well, I thought you were done
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00:02:45,430 --> 00:02:47,434
with the Pretty Kitty
Kitty Litter's Prettiest Kitty
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00:02:47,434 --> 00:02:49,773
at the Pretty Kitty Kitty
Litter Pretty Kitty Cat Show.
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00:02:49,773 --> 00:02:51,242
What made you think that?
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00:02:51,242 --> 00:02:52,746
Well, for me,
it was when you said
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you were done with cat shows,
which timed out perfectly
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because your owners were
spending all their time
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00:02:57,287 --> 00:02:59,125
with their newer, younger,
cuter cat anyway.
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00:02:59,125 --> 00:03:01,229
Apparently,
the novelty of Kit Kat
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00:03:01,229 --> 00:03:02,766
have worn off for my humans.
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00:03:02,766 --> 00:03:05,370
So now it's back
to business as usual,
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00:03:05,370 --> 00:03:08,544
me being celebrated
for my unrivaled beauty.
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Me?
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I can't belie--I won?
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[gasps]
Whoo!
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I won!
[laughing]
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Tabitha, as much as I love
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to hear you make
those over-the-top noises,
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I'm concerned you're edging
towards a backslide.
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Ooh, did somebody
say "backside"?
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00:03:23,874 --> 00:03:26,012
No, I said "backslide."
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Okay,
but you did say "edging,"
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and I've got a story
for that too.
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Or do I?
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♪ Purse-y, purse-y,
purse dog! ♪
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♪ I'm a purse dog! ♪
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Here you go!
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A treat?
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From a purse dog?
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Bless you, sir!
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[indistinct chatter]
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Wow, this is all so magical.
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Oh! We got a newbie.
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I'm Scout.
- Diablo.
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Welcome.
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Cigar?
- Ooh, fancy.
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00:03:54,368 --> 00:03:56,907
That's Tofu and Jonathan.
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And this is...
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00:03:58,109 --> 00:04:03,119
[riffing operatically]
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00:04:03,119 --> 00:04:06,325
Bowie.
Charmed, I'm sure.
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- [slurps]
- That's enough.
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You know, Diablo,
we couldn't help but notice
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you feeding
that meter mutt over there.
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Floor dogs are trash.
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00:04:17,314 --> 00:04:18,517
Well, that's not true.
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00:04:18,517 --> 00:04:20,922
Some of my best friends
are floor dogs.
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[haughty laughter]
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00:04:24,094 --> 00:04:25,330
No, really.
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You can't be serious.
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Are you a purse dog
or just a dog in a purse?
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[dramatic music]
140
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[laughs] I got--got you!
141
00:04:35,117 --> 00:04:36,553
I got you all!
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00:04:36,553 --> 00:04:38,791
I mean,
this one was like, what?
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00:04:38,791 --> 00:04:40,160
And he was like, huh?
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00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:42,665
And you were like,
ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-ga-what?
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00:04:42,665 --> 00:04:43,466
[laughter]
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00:04:43,567 --> 00:04:45,638
You did do that,
Tofu, you slut.
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[sotto voce]
Diablo, you did it again,
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00:04:47,441 --> 00:04:49,613
you literal son of a bitch.
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00:04:49,613 --> 00:04:52,652
Banshee is seriously
the coolest.
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00:04:52,652 --> 00:04:56,058
We went skateboarding,
surfing, dune buggy-ing.
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00:04:56,058 --> 00:04:58,163
I--I feel like a puppy again!
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00:04:58,163 --> 00:04:59,633
Chief, you're
in your mid-sevens.
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00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:01,369
I think you might be
having a little bit
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00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:02,539
of a midlife crisis.
155
00:05:02,539 --> 00:05:05,143
No, I'm just halfway
through my life,
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00:05:05,143 --> 00:05:07,314
realizing how fast it's going
157
00:05:07,314 --> 00:05:09,920
and wishing I was
a cool puppy again.
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00:05:09,920 --> 00:05:11,222
What are you talking about?
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00:05:11,222 --> 00:05:12,859
Fine.
While you were gone,
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00:05:12,859 --> 00:05:15,163
I was busy having
my own wild time.
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00:05:15,163 --> 00:05:16,332
All right, puzzle,
162
00:05:16,332 --> 00:05:18,136
I know there's a treat
in you somewhere.
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00:05:18,136 --> 00:05:19,606
[jazz music playing]
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Nope.
Nope.
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[chuckles]
Talk about an adrenaline rush.
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00:05:27,387 --> 00:05:28,891
Care to take the ride?
167
00:05:28,891 --> 00:05:29,759
Oh, I can't.
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00:05:29,893 --> 00:05:31,429
Banshee said we're going
skydiving tomorrow.
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00:05:31,429 --> 00:05:33,634
What?
Do you even know what that is?
170
00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:36,038
I think it's the day
after today?
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00:05:36,038 --> 00:05:37,742
No, skydiving.
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00:05:37,742 --> 00:05:39,513
Haven't you seen
Jill cry-watching
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00:05:39,513 --> 00:05:41,482
those skydiving proposal videos
174
00:05:41,482 --> 00:05:43,286
where people jump
out of airplanes?
175
00:05:43,286 --> 00:05:45,725
Oh, my God.
Is Banshee gonna propose?
176
00:05:45,725 --> 00:05:48,096
I mean, his vomit is delicious,
177
00:05:48,096 --> 00:05:50,935
but I'm not sure
I like him that way.
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00:05:50,935 --> 00:05:52,271
Yes. I'm gonna do it.
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00:05:52,271 --> 00:05:53,507
I'm gonna say yes!
180
00:05:53,507 --> 00:05:55,343
Chief, I'm saying
you guys are going
181
00:05:55,343 --> 00:05:57,047
to jump out of an airplane.
182
00:05:57,047 --> 00:06:00,855
Oh. Yeah, that does
sound a little risky.
183
00:06:00,855 --> 00:06:02,224
Uh, a little risky?
184
00:06:02,224 --> 00:06:03,761
It's bat-scat insane.
185
00:06:03,761 --> 00:06:06,465
You could die,
or worse, become paralyzed.
186
00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:09,271
And then Jill would become
paralyzed--with grief.
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00:06:09,371 --> 00:06:11,209
And then I have
to take care of you both
188
00:06:11,209 --> 00:06:12,679
and probably learn
how to drive,
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00:06:12,679 --> 00:06:14,448
which leaves no time
for puzzles.
190
00:06:14,448 --> 00:06:16,485
No, Chief, you cannot do this!
191
00:06:16,485 --> 00:06:18,456
Banshee thought
you might say that.
192
00:06:18,456 --> 00:06:19,626
Really?
All of it?
193
00:06:19,626 --> 00:06:22,431
Yeah. He also thought
you were my mom.
194
00:06:22,431 --> 00:06:24,736
Speaking of which,
what's expected of me
195
00:06:24,736 --> 00:06:27,942
on the wedding night,
and will it hurt?
196
00:06:28,042 --> 00:06:30,514
[jazzy music]
197
00:06:30,514 --> 00:06:33,186
Ah, how I have missed this.
198
00:06:33,186 --> 00:06:34,522
[harp flourish]
199
00:06:34,522 --> 00:06:37,060
The glamour, the pageantry.
200
00:06:37,060 --> 00:06:39,198
Finally, I'm home.
201
00:06:39,198 --> 00:06:40,233
Don't worry, Kit Kat.
202
00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:43,072
Maybe one day you'll get
your chance to compete.
203
00:06:43,072 --> 00:06:45,410
Ugh!
As if I would ever want
204
00:06:45,511 --> 00:06:49,018
to be a part of something
so antiquated and offensive.
205
00:06:49,018 --> 00:06:50,755
Be jealous louder.
206
00:06:50,755 --> 00:06:52,024
It feeds me.
207
00:06:52,024 --> 00:06:53,694
Bye-bye!
208
00:06:53,694 --> 00:06:54,428
[gasps]
209
00:06:54,428 --> 00:06:56,633
This is not VIP holding area.
210
00:06:56,633 --> 00:06:59,506
Where are the fur blowers
and the anal swabs?
211
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:02,010
Who are you?
Why do you lift me?
212
00:07:02,010 --> 00:07:03,046
Where are you taking me?
213
00:07:03,046 --> 00:07:04,281
[gasps]
214
00:07:04,281 --> 00:07:05,350
Where am I?
215
00:07:05,350 --> 00:07:06,987
Who are you freaks?
216
00:07:07,087 --> 00:07:08,256
Attention, cat people,
217
00:07:08,256 --> 00:07:10,393
the Legacy Parade will
commence shortly.
218
00:07:10,393 --> 00:07:12,364
What? Legacy Parade?
219
00:07:12,364 --> 00:07:15,103
But--but that is
for the sad cats
220
00:07:15,103 --> 00:07:16,773
of yesteryear.
221
00:07:16,773 --> 00:07:18,009
[laughs]
222
00:07:18,009 --> 00:07:20,180
Who do you think you are,
223
00:07:20,180 --> 00:07:22,150
some spring kitten?
224
00:07:22,150 --> 00:07:23,954
You are one of us.
225
00:07:23,954 --> 00:07:25,323
[laughing]
226
00:07:25,323 --> 00:07:26,927
Uh-oh. Well...
227
00:07:26,927 --> 00:07:29,365
[exciting music]
228
00:07:29,465 --> 00:07:32,137
I can't wait for you
to feel that rush, man!
229
00:07:32,137 --> 00:07:34,542
You're gonna feel so alive!
230
00:07:34,542 --> 00:07:36,647
What if the parachute
doesn't open?
231
00:07:36,647 --> 00:07:38,984
Don't let your mom
get in your head!
232
00:07:38,984 --> 00:07:40,755
Oh, Honey was right.
233
00:07:40,755 --> 00:07:42,525
I don't think
I want to get married!
234
00:07:42,525 --> 00:07:44,663
Chiefy, are you ready?
235
00:07:44,663 --> 00:07:47,902
Actually, Jill, I've decided
I'm gonna pass on this one.
236
00:07:47,902 --> 00:07:48,904
But thank you so--
237
00:07:48,904 --> 00:07:50,808
[both screaming]
238
00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:54,481
[both screaming]
239
00:07:54,481 --> 00:07:56,586
Uh, is the dog peeing?
240
00:07:56,586 --> 00:07:59,391
Yep!
Just the dog and no one else!
241
00:07:59,391 --> 00:08:02,999
Isn't this the best feeling
in the world?
242
00:08:02,999 --> 00:08:04,301
And it was, Honey.
243
00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:05,805
It really was!
244
00:08:05,805 --> 00:08:07,775
I'm so glad
that I made the decision
245
00:08:07,775 --> 00:08:10,380
to listen to you
and not go skydiving,
246
00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:13,219
because it led me
to being pushed out of a plane
247
00:08:13,219 --> 00:08:14,689
and going skydiving!
248
00:08:14,689 --> 00:08:16,258
Well, I'm glad you're back.
249
00:08:16,258 --> 00:08:18,162
Now you can help me
with this puzzle.
250
00:08:18,162 --> 00:08:19,532
Nope. Nope.
251
00:08:19,532 --> 00:08:20,868
Nope.
Nope.
252
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,605
Trial and error, I'm addicted.
253
00:08:22,605 --> 00:08:23,841
[chuckles] Nope.
254
00:08:23,841 --> 00:08:24,642
Nope. Nope.
255
00:08:24,743 --> 00:08:26,412
And tonight,
I get to meet the rest
256
00:08:26,412 --> 00:08:27,782
of Banshee's chaos crew.
257
00:08:27,782 --> 00:08:31,690
There's Dexter,
Bones, Jax, Douche.
258
00:08:31,690 --> 00:08:33,393
And now that Bones
is old enough
259
00:08:33,393 --> 00:08:35,363
to get all of his shots,
we can finally fight
260
00:08:35,363 --> 00:08:36,900
those rats outside of Hooters.
261
00:08:36,900 --> 00:08:38,804
Chief, maybe there's
a healthier way
262
00:08:38,804 --> 00:08:40,808
for you to deal
with facing your mortality.
263
00:08:40,808 --> 00:08:43,179
I mean, death comes for us all.
- [chuckling]
264
00:08:43,179 --> 00:08:44,214
Why are you giggling?
265
00:08:44,214 --> 00:08:45,450
I'm--I'm sorry, Honey.
266
00:08:45,450 --> 00:08:47,487
Banshee, Dexter, Bones,
Jax, and Douche
267
00:08:47,588 --> 00:08:49,158
are totally mooning us
right now.
268
00:08:49,158 --> 00:08:50,393
[laughs]
269
00:08:50,393 --> 00:08:52,130
Well, back to what
I was talking about,
270
00:08:52,130 --> 00:08:53,066
when there are more years--
271
00:08:53,066 --> 00:08:55,638
Chief?
- [sniggering]
272
00:08:55,638 --> 00:08:58,577
This is funny
on so many levels!
273
00:08:58,577 --> 00:09:00,581
Let's go put our lives
in danger
274
00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:02,451
for a fleeting moment
of excitement!
275
00:09:02,451 --> 00:09:04,321
- Excitement!
- Ha ha, danger!
276
00:09:04,321 --> 00:09:06,158
Death comes to us all!
277
00:09:06,158 --> 00:09:07,227
[sighs]
278
00:09:07,227 --> 00:09:08,564
[jazzy music]
279
00:09:08,564 --> 00:09:11,503
Ugh, so this is what
becomes of my life,
280
00:09:11,503 --> 00:09:14,041
taken out to pageantry pasture.
281
00:09:14,041 --> 00:09:15,911
It's not so bad
being one of us.
282
00:09:15,911 --> 00:09:18,584
Sure, we feel useless
and desexualized,
283
00:09:18,584 --> 00:09:20,888
but bottomless amounts
of premium catnip
284
00:09:20,888 --> 00:09:22,558
makes you forget that
in seconds.
285
00:09:22,558 --> 00:09:24,261
Here you go, old gal,
286
00:09:24,261 --> 00:09:25,463
a little pick-me-up.
287
00:09:25,463 --> 00:09:27,334
Puts a little puff
in your muff.
288
00:09:27,334 --> 00:09:28,436
[laughs]
289
00:09:28,436 --> 00:09:30,273
What is all this ruckus?
290
00:09:30,273 --> 00:09:33,212
Oh, my God, you're still alive?
291
00:09:33,212 --> 00:09:34,415
Hey, maggots!
292
00:09:34,415 --> 00:09:36,352
Remember that dead cat
we crawled into?
293
00:09:36,452 --> 00:09:37,454
Guess what?
294
00:09:37,454 --> 00:09:40,427
Oh, catnip, take me away.
295
00:09:40,427 --> 00:09:43,065
[inhaling deeply]
296
00:09:43,065 --> 00:09:44,168
Ah!
297
00:09:44,168 --> 00:09:45,638
[frantic distorted music]
298
00:09:45,638 --> 00:09:47,975
[high-pitched laughter]
299
00:09:47,975 --> 00:09:51,983
♪ ♪
300
00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:53,620
Oh, yeah!
301
00:09:53,620 --> 00:09:55,825
Okay, I know this is
a purse world problem,
302
00:09:55,925 --> 00:10:00,400
but why do they make ChapStick
the exact size of my anus?
303
00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,439
[laughter]
304
00:10:03,439 --> 00:10:05,276
Oh, I'm sorry, Bowie.
305
00:10:05,276 --> 00:10:06,780
You didn't think
that was funny?
306
00:10:06,780 --> 00:10:08,349
I don't know.
It just felt like
307
00:10:08,349 --> 00:10:09,418
you were working
a little too hard.
308
00:10:09,418 --> 00:10:12,491
Kind of like the straps
on your bag, big girl?
309
00:10:12,491 --> 00:10:14,461
Ooh.
[laughter]
310
00:10:14,461 --> 00:10:16,533
I mean, I didn't realize
you were a husky!
311
00:10:16,533 --> 00:10:17,735
[laughter]
312
00:10:17,735 --> 00:10:19,672
- Well, I never!
- Miss a meal?
313
00:10:19,672 --> 00:10:21,676
Tell me about it.
You keep up like this,
314
00:10:21,676 --> 00:10:24,114
your human is gonna have
to trade that purse in
315
00:10:24,114 --> 00:10:25,483
for a duffel, baby!
316
00:10:25,483 --> 00:10:26,753
[laughter]
317
00:10:26,753 --> 00:10:29,391
Diablo's speaking truth
to power.
318
00:10:29,391 --> 00:10:32,063
Diablo, I made you
a purse dog.
319
00:10:32,063 --> 00:10:34,869
One more crack,
and I'll make you a hearse dog!
320
00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:37,040
Come on and punch down,
you bag hags!
321
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:38,911
Well, that was more clever
than funny.
322
00:10:38,911 --> 00:10:42,284
Well, you can't expect
too much from a floor dog.
323
00:10:42,284 --> 00:10:43,486
Floor dog?
324
00:10:43,486 --> 00:10:44,589
I'm not a--ah!
325
00:10:44,589 --> 00:10:47,160
The floor! It burns!
326
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:48,964
It burns!
327
00:10:48,964 --> 00:10:51,536
Ugh!
- Did you guys hear something?
328
00:10:51,636 --> 00:10:54,408
My ears don't work down.
- [whimpering]
329
00:10:54,408 --> 00:10:57,748
[laughter]
330
00:10:57,748 --> 00:11:00,521
all: [chanting]
Bite the fence! Bite the fence!
331
00:11:00,521 --> 00:11:03,025
[groaning]
I've never felt so--
332
00:11:03,025 --> 00:11:04,896
agh--alive!
333
00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:07,702
Ha!
We're just gettin' warmed up!
334
00:11:07,702 --> 00:11:09,104
[laughter]
- [shrieks]
335
00:11:09,104 --> 00:11:10,373
Oh, yeah!
336
00:11:10,373 --> 00:11:12,143
[laughing] Oh! Whoa!
337
00:11:12,143 --> 00:11:13,446
[upbeat rock music]
338
00:11:13,446 --> 00:11:17,187
[laughter]
339
00:11:17,187 --> 00:11:19,324
[train horn whistles]
340
00:11:19,324 --> 00:11:21,195
- Oh!
- Ah!
341
00:11:21,195 --> 00:11:22,364
- Ah!
- Whoo!
342
00:11:22,364 --> 00:11:24,869
Witness me!
343
00:11:24,869 --> 00:11:27,775
Ladies and gentlemen,
please direct your attention
344
00:11:27,775 --> 00:11:29,812
to the northwest corner
of the room,
345
00:11:29,812 --> 00:11:34,989
where our Legacy Express has
already left the station.
346
00:11:34,989 --> 00:11:38,362
Give it up for these old,
old cats.
347
00:11:38,362 --> 00:11:39,398
[applause]
348
00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:42,805
[eerie organ music]
349
00:11:42,805 --> 00:11:44,474
This is wrong.
350
00:11:44,474 --> 00:11:46,178
This is so wrong!
351
00:11:46,178 --> 00:11:47,347
Hup!
352
00:11:47,347 --> 00:11:49,251
My fellow felines,
353
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:51,723
these merciless monsters
have no right
354
00:11:51,723 --> 00:11:54,328
to control our destinies!
355
00:11:54,328 --> 00:11:56,498
That blurry shape is right!
356
00:11:56,498 --> 00:11:58,604
How dare they devalue us
357
00:11:58,604 --> 00:12:01,008
just because
we are no longer kittens!
358
00:12:01,008 --> 00:12:04,281
Yeah, we have our whole lives
ahead of us.
359
00:12:04,281 --> 00:12:05,383
[groans]
360
00:12:05,383 --> 00:12:07,688
Everything changes tonight!
361
00:12:07,788 --> 00:12:09,491
It's mid-afternoon!
362
00:12:09,491 --> 00:12:10,794
On my signal,
363
00:12:10,794 --> 00:12:14,669
we scratch the eyes out
of every human in sight.
364
00:12:14,669 --> 00:12:17,207
Charge!
[cheering]
365
00:12:17,207 --> 00:12:19,211
Freedom!
366
00:12:19,211 --> 00:12:21,315
[yowl turns into yawn]
367
00:12:21,315 --> 00:12:23,085
Am I doing it?
368
00:12:23,085 --> 00:12:23,954
[yowls]
369
00:12:23,954 --> 00:12:26,526
All right,
who's ready to dig deep
370
00:12:26,526 --> 00:12:28,462
into some emotional dirt today?
371
00:12:28,462 --> 00:12:29,599
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
372
00:12:29,599 --> 00:12:31,770
Oh, my God, Chief,
you poor thing!
373
00:12:31,770 --> 00:12:34,642
You can't keep acting
like a dog in your threes.
374
00:12:34,642 --> 00:12:35,878
What's that?
375
00:12:35,878 --> 00:12:38,550
The wasps stung the insides
of both my ears,
376
00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:41,422
so I'm pretty much just
reading lips at this point.
377
00:12:41,422 --> 00:12:42,825
Anyway, guess what?
378
00:12:42,925 --> 00:12:46,733
Today was so much fun!
379
00:12:46,733 --> 00:12:48,035
[spits] Wait, really?
380
00:12:48,035 --> 00:12:50,541
And Banshee said
after I go bumper humping,
381
00:12:50,541 --> 00:12:53,279
he's gonna make me an official
member of their crew!
382
00:12:53,279 --> 00:12:55,718
All right, I'm gonna go try
and knock my shoulder
383
00:12:55,718 --> 00:12:56,820
back into its socket.
384
00:12:56,820 --> 00:12:58,255
What's bumper humping?
385
00:12:58,255 --> 00:13:03,466
Bumper humping is what
common dogs call chasing cars.
386
00:13:03,567 --> 00:13:04,869
- Diablo?
- How did you get
387
00:13:04,869 --> 00:13:06,873
in Jill's virtue signaling
tote bag?
388
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:08,644
Don't worry about it.
389
00:13:08,644 --> 00:13:09,712
Wait, car chasing?
390
00:13:09,712 --> 00:13:10,781
No, no, Chief would never.
391
00:13:10,781 --> 00:13:13,920
That's the most dangerous
sport known to dogkind.
392
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:16,760
Yep, I know of three dogs
and a frog
393
00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:19,264
who all died chasing
the four-wheeled dragon.
394
00:13:19,264 --> 00:13:21,468
The frog was actually
raised by the dogs.
395
00:13:21,468 --> 00:13:22,571
It's kind of a long story,
396
00:13:22,571 --> 00:13:24,107
but really quite beautiful
if anyone has time to--
397
00:13:24,107 --> 00:13:25,878
I've got to talk
some sense into Chief,
398
00:13:25,878 --> 00:13:27,548
or else he's gonna chase a car.
399
00:13:27,548 --> 00:13:28,583
It's gonna crash into...
400
00:13:28,583 --> 00:13:29,652
- Ow!
- A toxic waste truck,
401
00:13:29,652 --> 00:13:31,021
spilling radioactive material
402
00:13:31,021 --> 00:13:32,057
into the water supply.
- [groans]
403
00:13:32,057 --> 00:13:34,361
The people of Los Angeles
turn into mutants.
404
00:13:34,361 --> 00:13:35,898
And then when Jill
becomes the leader
405
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:36,900
of the mutant resistance,
406
00:13:36,900 --> 00:13:39,639
who is going to put more
treats in my puzzle?
407
00:13:39,639 --> 00:13:40,841
Aah!
408
00:13:40,841 --> 00:13:43,279
Our therapist,
ladies and gentlemen.
409
00:13:43,279 --> 00:13:45,249
[tense music]
410
00:13:45,249 --> 00:13:47,555
[yowling]
411
00:13:47,555 --> 00:13:48,557
No!
Don't!
412
00:13:48,557 --> 00:13:49,625
Do not approach her!
413
00:13:49,625 --> 00:13:51,930
She will only go to Stelios.
414
00:13:51,930 --> 00:13:53,366
[sighs]
I'm getting too old
415
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:56,539
for dealing with cats
that are too old for this.
416
00:13:56,539 --> 00:13:57,908
You will pay for your sins,
417
00:13:57,908 --> 00:14:00,681
Pretty Kitty Kitty Litter.
418
00:14:00,681 --> 00:14:02,551
[yowls]
419
00:14:02,551 --> 00:14:04,221
Ugh! Gah!
420
00:14:05,524 --> 00:14:06,593
A-gah.
421
00:14:06,593 --> 00:14:09,599
[groans]
Remember my name. Ah.
422
00:14:09,599 --> 00:14:11,301
What was her name?
423
00:14:11,301 --> 00:14:12,337
Who said that?
424
00:14:12,337 --> 00:14:14,474
Close the door!
425
00:14:15,109 --> 00:14:16,513
Hey, Chief,
do you have a second?
426
00:14:16,513 --> 00:14:17,782
Nice try, Honey,
427
00:14:17,782 --> 00:14:19,986
but nothing you say
is going to stop me
428
00:14:19,986 --> 00:14:21,923
from going
to the big car chase.
429
00:14:21,923 --> 00:14:23,794
I've been training non-stop.
430
00:14:23,794 --> 00:14:25,597
I've even been
holding in my farts
431
00:14:25,597 --> 00:14:26,933
to prepare
for the methane boost
432
00:14:26,933 --> 00:14:28,870
to give me
that extra burst of speed.
433
00:14:28,870 --> 00:14:30,073
No, sweetie, no,
434
00:14:30,073 --> 00:14:31,910
I'm not trying
to convince you of anything.
435
00:14:31,910 --> 00:14:34,014
If this is something
you're passionate about,
436
00:14:34,014 --> 00:14:36,886
then I support you now
and always, Chief.
437
00:14:36,886 --> 00:14:39,659
That's why I even got you
some track shoes.
438
00:14:39,659 --> 00:14:42,598
Aw, Honey,
you shouldn't have!
439
00:14:42,598 --> 00:14:43,767
Come on, they're in here.
440
00:14:43,767 --> 00:14:46,405
You are seriously the best.
441
00:14:46,405 --> 00:14:47,474
Now!
442
00:14:47,474 --> 00:14:50,012
[sneaky music]
443
00:14:50,012 --> 00:14:51,783
Hey, hey!
We're not doing that.
444
00:14:51,883 --> 00:14:53,720
You sure?
It's included.
445
00:14:53,720 --> 00:14:54,822
Meh.
446
00:14:54,822 --> 00:14:56,659
Why'd it get so dark in here?
447
00:14:56,659 --> 00:14:58,095
Help! Honey!
448
00:14:58,095 --> 00:15:00,233
I can't find the track shoes!
449
00:15:02,905 --> 00:15:04,174
[sirens wailing]
450
00:15:04,174 --> 00:15:04,976
Tabitha!
451
00:15:04,976 --> 00:15:06,646
Thank God you're okay!
452
00:15:06,646 --> 00:15:08,683
You were so brave.
453
00:15:08,683 --> 00:15:09,786
Kit Kat?
454
00:15:09,786 --> 00:15:12,457
You led a revolution.
455
00:15:12,457 --> 00:15:14,027
I'm so proud to know you.
456
00:15:14,027 --> 00:15:16,465
You were right.
We cats are more
457
00:15:16,465 --> 00:15:18,002
than sexy hunks of meat.
458
00:15:18,002 --> 00:15:20,908
We are also sexy hunks of soul.
459
00:15:20,908 --> 00:15:23,012
Yes, that's exactly what I--
460
00:15:23,112 --> 00:15:25,918
And the winner is Kit Kat!
461
00:15:25,918 --> 00:15:27,387
[gasps and screams]
462
00:15:27,387 --> 00:15:29,892
I'm Pretty Kitty Kitty Litter's
Pretty Ki--Ki--
463
00:15:29,992 --> 00:15:31,395
whatever, I--
464
00:15:31,395 --> 00:15:33,567
I won!
465
00:15:33,567 --> 00:15:34,802
Suck it, uggos.
466
00:15:34,802 --> 00:15:37,975
No!
467
00:15:37,975 --> 00:15:40,814
Long live the revoluti--
468
00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:44,020
Ohh, that feels nice.
469
00:15:44,020 --> 00:15:46,125
[downtempo jazz music]
470
00:15:46,125 --> 00:15:48,964
Oh, look,
this poor floor putz
471
00:15:48,964 --> 00:15:51,368
has to work for a living.
472
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:52,605
[laughter]
473
00:15:52,605 --> 00:15:53,673
Diablo?
474
00:15:53,673 --> 00:15:55,476
Are these your new friends?
475
00:15:55,476 --> 00:15:56,145
[whispers] Introduce me.
476
00:15:56,378 --> 00:15:57,848
Make it seem like
it was your idea.
477
00:15:57,848 --> 00:16:00,186
Diablo, you know
this floor mutt?
478
00:16:00,186 --> 00:16:01,656
- Yeah, we're actually--
- Who,
479
00:16:01,656 --> 00:16:03,359
this bath mat-looking bitch?
480
00:16:03,359 --> 00:16:04,629
No!
481
00:16:04,629 --> 00:16:06,064
She's just some ground mongrel
482
00:16:06,064 --> 00:16:08,435
who wishes she was one of us.
483
00:16:08,435 --> 00:16:10,574
[laughter]
484
00:16:10,574 --> 00:16:12,110
Wow. I get it.
485
00:16:12,110 --> 00:16:14,582
I would do exactly
what you're doing.
486
00:16:14,582 --> 00:16:16,218
But doesn't hurt any less.
487
00:16:16,218 --> 00:16:17,922
After a humiliation
like that,
488
00:16:17,922 --> 00:16:19,659
I'd run away.
489
00:16:19,659 --> 00:16:21,629
With those stumpy legs,
490
00:16:21,629 --> 00:16:22,832
that is a run!
491
00:16:22,832 --> 00:16:24,969
[laughter]
492
00:16:24,969 --> 00:16:27,140
How do you not have
a late night show?
493
00:16:27,140 --> 00:16:28,777
Good thing you've
been studying up
494
00:16:28,777 --> 00:16:30,213
on your bitchcraft, Elsa.
495
00:16:30,213 --> 00:16:34,087
Canis defixio.
Hoistes petardes!
496
00:16:35,524 --> 00:16:36,626
[gasps]
My purse!
497
00:16:36,626 --> 00:16:37,962
Aah!
What do I do?
498
00:16:37,962 --> 00:16:40,667
What do I do?
Aah!
499
00:16:40,667 --> 00:16:42,571
Oh, my God, it worked!
500
00:16:42,571 --> 00:16:45,176
Legsus growus!
501
00:16:46,278 --> 00:16:49,384
Oh, well.
At least Diablo's gonna die.
502
00:16:49,384 --> 00:16:50,052
[all grunting]
503
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:51,523
Well, well, well,
504
00:16:51,523 --> 00:16:53,727
look who we have here,
505
00:16:53,727 --> 00:16:54,929
Chief's mom.
506
00:16:54,929 --> 00:16:56,900
I'm not--all right, fine.
507
00:16:56,900 --> 00:17:00,039
My son, Chief,
is done with car chasing.
508
00:17:00,039 --> 00:17:02,545
In fact, none of you
should be doing this.
509
00:17:02,545 --> 00:17:03,914
It's way too dangerous,
510
00:17:03,914 --> 00:17:06,084
and it always gets in the way
of my puzzles.
511
00:17:06,084 --> 00:17:06,920
[tires screeching]
I will never understand
512
00:17:06,920 --> 00:17:09,424
why anyone would
risk their lives for--
513
00:17:09,424 --> 00:17:10,259
Help!
514
00:17:10,259 --> 00:17:12,163
- Wait, is that--
- Yes, Honey,
515
00:17:12,163 --> 00:17:14,502
it's me, Diablo, from group!
516
00:17:14,502 --> 00:17:17,106
I've come to a realization
about the purse dog life,
517
00:17:17,106 --> 00:17:19,845
and I'd love to dig into it
with you after you save me
518
00:17:19,845 --> 00:17:21,883
because I'm being purse-napped!
519
00:17:21,883 --> 00:17:23,954
I also got in some
sick burns earlier
520
00:17:23,954 --> 00:17:25,022
I want to tell you about,
521
00:17:25,022 --> 00:17:27,026
but again, the purse-napping!
522
00:17:27,026 --> 00:17:29,431
Also, do you know
what Tabitha did at
523
00:17:29,431 --> 00:17:31,502
the Pretty Kitty Kitty Litter--
- I'm coming, Diablo!
524
00:17:31,502 --> 00:17:34,241
[exciting music]
525
00:17:34,241 --> 00:17:37,146
I wish my mom was that cool.
526
00:17:37,146 --> 00:17:38,717
Don't worry, Diablo!
527
00:17:38,717 --> 00:17:41,990
I'm going to hump that bumper
if it's the last thing I do!
528
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:45,429
Honey! Aah!
529
00:17:45,429 --> 00:17:47,534
♪ ♪
530
00:17:47,534 --> 00:17:49,437
[grunting]
531
00:17:49,437 --> 00:17:54,715
♪ ♪
532
00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:55,717
[gasps]
533
00:17:58,055 --> 00:17:59,592
[train horn whistles]
534
00:17:59,592 --> 00:18:00,627
Ah!
535
00:18:00,627 --> 00:18:01,663
I don't know you, lady,
536
00:18:01,663 --> 00:18:03,733
but I'm down for whatever
you have in mind!
537
00:18:03,733 --> 00:18:08,843
♪ ♪
538
00:18:08,843 --> 00:18:10,179
[engine revs]
539
00:18:13,954 --> 00:18:15,991
You have all that you need
540
00:18:15,991 --> 00:18:17,393
within you.
541
00:18:20,032 --> 00:18:21,001
[farts]
542
00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:22,136
Whoo!
543
00:18:22,136 --> 00:18:23,205
- Huh?
- Let's go!
544
00:18:23,205 --> 00:18:24,207
Chaos, baby!
- Ugh!
545
00:18:24,207 --> 00:18:27,881
[groaning]
[tires screeching]
546
00:18:27,881 --> 00:18:29,518
- [farts]
- You caught the car
547
00:18:29,518 --> 00:18:30,587
and saved me!
548
00:18:30,587 --> 00:18:32,490
You're a hero!
549
00:18:32,490 --> 00:18:33,526
Ah!
550
00:18:33,526 --> 00:18:34,327
Oh, purse legs.
551
00:18:34,427 --> 00:18:36,633
[sniffing]
Honey, there you are!
552
00:18:36,633 --> 00:18:38,135
I found the track shoes!
553
00:18:38,135 --> 00:18:40,072
I--I think I have
to break them in though.
554
00:18:40,072 --> 00:18:41,341
They're a little uncomfortable.
555
00:18:41,341 --> 00:18:43,813
[police radio chatter]
Wait. What's going on?
556
00:18:43,813 --> 00:18:45,751
You're a legend, Chief's mom!
557
00:18:45,751 --> 00:18:47,487
You actually caught a car!
558
00:18:47,487 --> 00:18:49,525
None of us have ever
done that before.
559
00:18:49,525 --> 00:18:51,529
Well, Douche came close once.
560
00:18:51,529 --> 00:18:53,499
Wassup!
561
00:18:53,499 --> 00:18:57,140
We would be honored
if you wanted to join our crew.
562
00:18:57,140 --> 00:18:59,645
Yeah, that's gonna be
a no from me, dawg.
563
00:18:59,645 --> 00:19:00,947
Okay, then. Later.
564
00:19:00,947 --> 00:19:03,252
Um, guys?
[chuckles nervously]
565
00:19:03,252 --> 00:19:05,524
Does this mean you don't
want to hang anymore?
566
00:19:05,524 --> 00:19:06,859
I--I thought we were friends.
567
00:19:06,859 --> 00:19:09,865
That's before you were
wearing pots on your feet.
568
00:19:09,865 --> 00:19:11,234
What's wrong with you, man?
569
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,738
Come on, Chief, let's go.
570
00:19:12,738 --> 00:19:13,940
You don't need those guys.
571
00:19:13,940 --> 00:19:15,777
Yeah, maybe you're right.
572
00:19:15,777 --> 00:19:18,148
I don't need them
to feel young and cool.
573
00:19:18,148 --> 00:19:20,286
I have you.
As long as you're around,
574
00:19:20,286 --> 00:19:22,791
I'll always be the younger
and cooler one.
575
00:19:22,791 --> 00:19:24,595
Bitch, I caught a car today!
576
00:19:24,595 --> 00:19:25,831
Sorry, sorry.
577
00:19:25,831 --> 00:19:27,333
I just feel so alive.
578
00:19:27,333 --> 00:19:29,270
What's next?
Should we take off our collars
579
00:19:29,270 --> 00:19:31,141
and see what kind of weirdo
takes us home?
580
00:19:31,141 --> 00:19:33,245
You wanna start a fight club
with that skunk?
581
00:19:33,245 --> 00:19:35,684
How 'bout we go home and
I help you with that puzzle?
582
00:19:35,684 --> 00:19:36,786
The treat is mine!
583
00:19:36,786 --> 00:19:38,890
I mean, aww.
584
00:19:38,890 --> 00:19:39,992
[jazzy music]
585
00:19:39,992 --> 00:19:41,328
Well, you'll be happy to hear
586
00:19:41,328 --> 00:19:43,700
that I won't be doing
cat shows anymore.
587
00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:44,735
What happened?
588
00:19:44,735 --> 00:19:45,937
Some old cat freaked out
589
00:19:45,937 --> 00:19:47,073
during the Legacy Parade.
590
00:19:47,073 --> 00:19:48,208
I mean, she was too young
591
00:19:48,208 --> 00:19:49,879
to be in Legacy Parade,
but still.
592
00:19:49,879 --> 00:19:51,448
Anyways, I got blamed.
593
00:19:51,448 --> 00:19:52,450
Now I'm banned for life.
594
00:19:52,450 --> 00:19:55,089
Oh, my God!
This is perfect timing for you,
595
00:19:55,089 --> 00:19:57,226
considering you're probably
way too old to compete anyway.
596
00:19:57,226 --> 00:19:59,364
[laughs] Never change, Chico!
597
00:19:59,364 --> 00:20:01,936
And now to the world of dogs.
598
00:20:01,936 --> 00:20:04,140
Elsa, I owe you an apology.
599
00:20:04,140 --> 00:20:06,913
I'm sorry I became
such a purse monster.
600
00:20:06,913 --> 00:20:08,282
That's okay.
601
00:20:08,282 --> 00:20:11,756
And I have nothing
to apologize for in return.
602
00:20:11,756 --> 00:20:12,925
Aw, that's nice.
603
00:20:12,925 --> 00:20:14,360
And you'll all be happy to know
604
00:20:14,360 --> 00:20:16,364
that I'm giving up
the purse game.
605
00:20:16,364 --> 00:20:18,001
Really?
How did you get out of it?
606
00:20:18,102 --> 00:20:20,406
Well, let's just say
I handled it.
607
00:20:20,406 --> 00:20:22,511
[chuckles]
And I think we have a clip?
608
00:20:22,511 --> 00:20:24,447
A clip?
What are you talking abou--
609
00:20:25,149 --> 00:20:26,084
[squelching]
- [sniffs]
610
00:20:26,084 --> 00:20:28,055
Ugh! Diablo!
611
00:20:28,055 --> 00:20:30,392
It's on my Invisalign!
612
00:20:30,392 --> 00:20:33,900
So really,
you could say she handled it.
613
00:20:33,900 --> 00:20:34,902
Handled what?
614
00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:35,871
You just stopped talking
615
00:20:35,871 --> 00:20:36,973
for a couple of seconds.
616
00:20:36,973 --> 00:20:38,676
Diablo, what's
going on with you?
617
00:20:38,676 --> 00:20:39,477
I don't know.
618
00:20:39,645 --> 00:20:41,983
Being a purse dog
really rattled my brain.
619
00:20:41,983 --> 00:20:43,218
We'll be right back.
620
00:20:43,218 --> 00:20:45,222
Uh, back from where?
621
00:20:48,462 --> 00:20:50,667
Before we wrap up
the 45th annual
622
00:20:50,667 --> 00:20:53,338
Pretty Kitty Kitty Litter
Pretty Kitty Cat Show,
623
00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:54,675
let's take a moment to honor
624
00:20:54,675 --> 00:20:57,581
the fabulous felines
we've lost this year.
625
00:20:57,581 --> 00:20:59,050
[Sarah McLachlan's
"Angel" playing]
626
00:20:59,150 --> 00:21:01,756
♪ In the arms of ♪
627
00:21:01,756 --> 00:21:03,025
Nope, nope.
628
00:21:03,025 --> 00:21:04,327
I can't do it.
629
00:21:04,327 --> 00:21:10,540
♪ Fly away from here ♪
630
00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:16,719
♪ From this dark,
cold hotel room ♪
631
00:21:16,719 --> 00:21:22,798
♪ And the endlessness
that you fear ♪
632
00:21:22,798 --> 00:21:29,010
♪ You are pulled
from the wreckage ♪
633
00:21:29,010 --> 00:21:32,283
I thought Kitty Kitty
Bang Bang died years ago.
634
00:21:34,053 --> 00:21:34,922
Bento.
[electricity zapping]
635
00:21:34,922 --> 00:21:36,091
[cheering]
636
00:21:36,491 --> 00:21:37,694
That's nice, Jen and Gabby.