[upbeat rock music]
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ - ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
- ♪ Ruff, ruff ♪ - ♪ Meow, meow ♪
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ - ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ - ♪ Meow, meow, meow ♪
- ♪ Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff ♪ - ♪ Meow, meow, meow, meow ♪
[music crescendos]
♪ ♪
[upbeat music]
- Raccoon, thanks so much
for letting us have group in here.
- Thank you. I raided an abandoned Pier 1,
and I have been dying to have some company over.
Apple core and shoelace rumaki?
- Ooh! - I just found out
Jill's dropping Chief and me off
on a surprise vacay tomorrow
while she goes to Joshua Tree to get her aura scraped.
I thought we could have a speed session
so I didn't leave you all hanging.
- Hero.
- Does anyone have
any urgent matters they'd like to discuss?
- Yeah, I'll go, since mine's probably the most interesting.
I landed the lead role in a gritty reboot of "Babe,"
and long story short, I'm going to a farm
to research what it's like to be a pig.
- I hope this is okay to ask,
but aren't you already a pig?
- Oh, Chico, you sweet idiot.
I'm not a pig, pig.
I'm a celebrity
who's one devastating performance away
from winning an Oscar.
- Maybe you'll thank me
in your acceptance speech.
- [laughs] No.
I really wanna talk about the environment.
Specifically, bringing back plastic straws.
- All right, anyone else wanna sh--
- Fine! I'll tell you.
I'm being forced to return to the scene
of one of the most traumatic events of--
- Great. Glad we were all here for you.
See you in a few days.
♪ ♪
- Where do you think Jill's taking us?
- I hope it's something cultural
like an artist's colony.
[sultry music]
I think I'm gonna need more pink.
- Why do you always drool
when you think about artist colonies?
- Because I'm sophisticated.
- Looks like we're here!
- [gasps] Oh, God.
[dramatic music]
A sheep herding camp?
This isn't a vacation. It's torture.
These kinds of athletic camps expose my weakness
and make me feel inadequate.
Ahh! - Don't inade-quit, honey.
This is gonna be fun.
You and me are a team,
and I promise to help you until you like this camp
as much as you like painting dog dongs.
- Thanks, Chief. - She's here.
- I can't believe she came back.
- Who are you talking about?
- The greatest herder this camp has ever seen.
- [exhales] You got this, Elsa.
- Elsa? - Elsa! Elsa!
[sniffing] - No sniffs! Please.
- Elsa, you're the legendary herder,
and I've never heard you brag about it?
Very off-brand for you.
- Well, if you hadn't cut me off in group,
which was very on-brand-- burn--
I would've said that my human heard your human
talking about this place at the dog park,
so I got dragged back here.
- All right, listen up, lap dogs!
Today is just practice,
but tomorrow we'll do timed herds.
That's where we separate the puppies from the dogs.
Although, that really should've been done at registration.
The two fastest teams will move on to the finals,
where they'll go head-to-head on the most intense,
dangerous sheep herding course ever built.
Any questions?
- Yeah, hi.
Um, what's the deal treat-wise here?
Are they free-flowing, or do you have to work for them?
- Dumb question. Everyone to the practice field.
- You're not coming? - No.
Despite my legendary status,
I don't race anymore.
- Why, you ask? - I didn't.
- Well... [dramatic music]
[gasps]
- Elsa, why I die?
- Long story.
[sheep bleating] - Into the pen, go, go, go.
- Bang, bang, bang. - Wow.
Bullet and Bang are so good.
I'll never be that good.
- Oh, hon, it's okay.
You suck at lots of stuff.
Hey, I'm Chief. This is Honey.
We'll be herding you today.
Even though it might seem like we're the boss of you,
we're all a team.
Clear ears, full tummies, can't lose!
Say it with me!
- We's is sheep.
- Sheeps is nice.
- I'm feelin' these guys.
♪ ♪
- Okay, Max, go over there and blend in.
You can do this.
Duh! Oink!
Must eat slop and roll in poop. Oink.
- Is there somethin' wrong with you, boy?
- No, I'm a pig, like you.
Oink!
- Why are you talkin' like that?
- Okay, you got me. I'm not really a pig, pig.
[whispers] I'm an actor.
I'm here to do research for a movie.
[speaks slowly] Do you know what a movie is?
- Of course I know what a movie is.
Let me tell you something.
Pigs are intelligent creatures who do more than eat
and lay around in their own feces,
though we do love that.
If you can't see that, you ain't worth
the plastic they use to make your SAAG card.
- What? How do you know about
the Screen Animal Actor's Guild?
- Oh, I know a lot of things.
Too bad you ain't open enough to learn 'em.
♪ ♪
- Okay, teams, it's simple.
Your goal is to get all your sheep
into the pen before your competitors.
Ready.
Set.
Herd! - Whoo-hoo!
You're right, this is fun. It's not so hard.
Yeah, except those sheep haven't moved at all.
[laughs] - What?
Why aren't they following us?
Oh, my God, we're failing!
What do we do? What do we do?
- Follow me. Get behind them!
[both barking]
Come on, guys. You can do it.
- Sheeps is soft.
- I bet! Okay, let's go now. [barks]
♪ ♪
- Yes! Move, soft sheep, move!
[barking]
- Get the slow pokes! - On it!
[barking]
Go, go! Bang, bang, bang.
- [grunts]
- Oh, my God, we did it!
- And we won?
We won! Ahh!
And all because of you.
- No, because of us. We are a great team.
All of us.
- Sheeps is good.
- Whoo!
- [laughs] Yeah! - Cheer!
- Way to go! - Wow!
- You did great. Whoo!
- [sighs]
This is how the game sucks you in,
and before you know it--
- Baa.
[eerie music]
- [sneezes]
- Elsas is gesundheit.
[upbeat music]
- Nice herd yesterday.
- Flock yeah, it was.
- Ah, there's nothin' like the thrill of the herd
or a sheep pun.
But there's a reason I don't race anymore.
- If it's too painful, you don't have to--
- It happened on the finals track.
[brakes screeching] I was the favorite to win,
but my sheep weren't in peak condition,
and we started falling behind.
I saw a shortcut that no one had tried.
[dramatic music]
Follow me!
- Sheeps is too many.
- Do it!
♪ ♪
[sheep bleating]
[explosion booms]
[gasps]
- So they exploded? How did that--
- Just play the game.
Don't let the game play you.
- Okay. Coolio.
- Great job out there yesterday.
Let's just do the same thing again.
- Or we can go bigger and better,
like "Mamma Mia! 2."
Last night, I realized that yesterday,
we were moving in a cluster.
But if we move in a diamond shape,
we'll be more aerodynamic.
There's no way we can't win.
- Okay, but just remember that on our team,
winning means doing your best and having fun.
I'm gonna go cardboard load before the race.
- Just to clarify, what winning actually means
is beating the other teams.
- Sheeps is wins! - Yes! You're getting it.
- Sheeps is sheeps. - I can't.
♪ ♪
- So, uh, I just wanted to apologize for yesterday.
I was using hurtful stereotypes
because I don't know the first thing
about being a pig. [laughs]
But if you're willing to teach me,
I am ready to learn.
- You're already learning
because you just passed your first test.
- I did? What was it?
- Wantin' it bad enough.
And, uh, I saw you eat a Cheeto from that pile of poop.
- We don't have Cheetos at home.
I mean, David doesn't eat anything without a face.
- Now, let's get to work.
[Survivor's "Eye of the Tiger"]
- Oink.
- Don't say it. Oink it.
- Oink!
[all munching]
♪ ♪
- Hm-hmm. - [laughs]
- Your final lesson:
baskin' in mud.
You can't call yourself a pig
unless you get pork chop deep in Brown Town.
- Okay.
[mud bubbles] You know what?
Actually, I think I threw my back out
doing some of those oinks,
so let's just pick this up tomorrow, okay?
- [sighs]
All that montage, and nothin'.
[dramatic music]
- As we head into the last lap,
looks like Chief and Honey's team
might have a shot at making it into the top two.
[hooves pounding]
- Move it, sheep!
This is a race, not a feminist art crawl.
- Sheeps is tired.
- I don't care. I'm winning this.
- Honey, ease up. They herd you.
[laughs] No, but seriously,
you're freaking them out.
[barking]
[both grunting]
- Yes! That's what I'm talkin' about.
- They did it! Honey and Chief are seeded second.
- Yes!
- There's only one team left to race,
Bullet and Bang.
- Bullet and Bang are the best herders here.
They'll get first place, and we'll get bumped off the board.
We have to do something.
- Honey, we did our best.
I'll cherish the memory always.
Now, let's see if we can get to the bottom of that treat sitch.
- I'll, um, catch up with you.
[laughs evilly]
- What? - Nothing.
[laughs evilly]
- Did you say-- - Nope.
Ha ha.
- [sighs]
- We ain't done.
Quit poutin', and get up, now.
- I can't do it.
I can't get in that mud!
- Yes, you can.
- You don't understand.
I'm a celebrity.
But if I set one hoof in that mud,
I'll just be seen as a pig, pig.
I will be sacrificing everything
that I've worked so hard to feel entitled to.
So just leave me alone. [sobbing]
- I can't do that. - Why?
Why do you even want to help me?
Because I was you.
[mysterious music]
- Oh, my God.
You're Ennis Wintour?
- Yes.
For years, I lived a high life--
fashion shows, photo shoots.
I was the only pig ever to attend
the Met Gala. [photographers clamoring]
- Ennis, give me a half smile!
Who are you wearing and why?
- But in all those glamourous situations,
somethin' didn't feel quite right.
Then on one fateful New Year's Eve
I spent upstate at Robert Downey Jr.'s cabin,
I finally understood why.
I was lonely.
And that's when I stopped hiding from the truth
and accepted what I've always known deep down.
I'm a pig. A pig, pig.
That's why I came here.
It wasn't easy at first,
but these pigs helped me accept myself.
It was a gift, and I wanna share that gift with you, Max.
- Uh, what does this story have to do with me?
- Well, deep down,
I think you're a pig, pig, too.
You're just not ready to admit it.
- You're wrong!
I'll never want to live out here.
And my reiki healer doesn't do cars.
- You don't have to live in the country.
You can be your true self anywhere.
Except on Fallon. That guy's exhausting.
- No, I'm not like you, and I never will be!
- [sighs]
All those flashbacks and nothin'.
Ennis, when are you gonna learn?
[upbeat music]
- Continuing with the time trials,
Bullet and Bang are up next.
- [snoring]
- [grunts]
- Sheeps is you?
- Uh, yeah. I sure is sheeps.
Baa.
- Ready. Set. Go!
[exciting music]
- Ruff! Go left.
♪ ♪
[ticking]
- Ooh! Berries! Follow me!
Yum, yum!
- No, no! Get out of the berries
and back on track.
- Berries is yums.
- No! - Bullet and Bang
have lost control of their herd,
and they are disqualified.
- [licking]
- Tomorrow's finals will be a face-off
between Channing and Tatum and Chief and Honey.
Let's hit the sprinklers, everybody.
[all cheering]
- I did it! I mean, we did it!
- Honey, did you do something to those sheep?
- What? No.
Did I do something?
That hurts, Chief. That really hurts.
- Berry juice?
[gasps] You did cheat!
And you ate berries without me!
I thought we were a team.
- We are a team, Chief.
And thanks to me, we're a winning team.
- Well, if this is how you play, we're not.
I inade-quit. - Fine.
Go. I can win without you or anyone.
You hear me?
Honeys is winners!
[ominous music]
♪ ♪
[earnest music]
- Max? You know, I heard a Hollywood D-bag
was with the pigs and just assumed it was Scooter Braun.
- Please. I wish a Hollywood D-bag
was all I was. - I understand.
Being here has made me relive the mo--
- Can I finish, please? Can I finish?
Thank you. God.
I came here to research a role, but the only thing I've learned
is that everything I knew about myself was wrong!
And it's all because of Ennis.
- Ennis? - A pig who lives here.
Keep up. When I'm with him,
I feel more like myself than I ever have.
And who I am is-- pause for dramatic effect--
a pig, pig! - Wow.
Have you told anyone else?
- No. - Yes!
- I'm scared, Elsa.
What'll happen when everyone finds out?
Will they still love, respect and fear me?
Will I still be me?
- Max, accepting who you are makes you more yourself.
Don't fight it.
- Oh, God. You're right.
You're right!
- Since you've stood emotionally naked before me,
I finally feel safe to--
oh, you're gone.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- All right, dummies, listen up.
I could trade you all for a pack of cigarettes,
so you better step up.
No mistakes today. Got it?
[animals cheering]
Chief? I thought you quit.
- Channing and Tatum went out last night
and ate a little too much fermented hay.
They're sleeping it off. So I decided to step in
and teach you a lesson.
- Good. Someone's gotta lose.
- You've already lost
your perspective
on what's important.
My sheep and I are gonna win,
and we're gonna have fun doing it.
And if that shatters your worldview
and leaves you questioning every choice
you've ever made in your life,
that'll be fun, too.
Ha ha!
- All right. I'm a little aroused.
But not enough to not kick your ass.
[dramatic music]
♪ ♪
- Ready.
Set.
Herd! - Move it, wool sacks!
- I believe in you! - [barking]
- And I love you!
- Sheeps is scared.
- Shut up and climb!
- Ohh!
- [grunts]
- [bleats, grunts]
- [barking]
♪ ♪
Hold, hold.
Go!
[slices]
♪ ♪
[barking]
[growling]
♪ ♪
Don't be scared. It's not mint jelly.
Get in there and climb!
♪ ♪
Yes!
♪ ♪
- And, slide!
Whee! all: Whee!
- Yeah!
- Damn it! [barks]
You idiots better get ahead of those sheep,
or I'm having mutton chops for dinner!
Go!
♪ ♪
- Careful, sheepies, careful!
- Sorry, Mom! - Sheeps is birds!
- No, no, no!
♪ ♪
[sheep bleating] - It's okay, sheeps.
I got ya.
- Sheeps is sorries.
♪ ♪
- Don't let the game play you.
- We are a great team. I believe in you.
- And when are we gonna get back to my thing?
Stop!
[brakes screeching]
[light music]
- Ennis, come here!
- Max? Where are you?
- Look down.
[Sixpence None the Richer's "Kiss Me"]
- You did it! You got in the mud.
- Yes, and I couldn't have done it without you.
You're the first animal who really saw me,
that helped me see myself, and you know what?
I like me.
And I like you.
- I like you too, Max.
- You changed my life, Ennis.
I don't know how I'll ever repay you.
- You already have.
- Aw. [laughs] - Mm.
[wind rustling]
- Why'd you stop? You were about to win.
- You were right.
I was so obsessed with being the best,
I missed my chance to have fun with you.
I'm sorry.
- Aww, come here,
you loveable psycho. [laughs]
- You done good, kid.
- Sheeps is lost!
- Oh, no, they're headed towards the highway!
[dramatic music]
- Here, sheepie, sheepie, sheepie!
- Stop, sheep! Come back!
They're too many, and they're too spread out,
and they're too dumb.
What are we gonna do?
- There's no dog alive who can herd all these sheep!
- Elsa!
- Elsas is helps.
- No, I can't.
- Elsas has rare opportunity for redemptions.
- You're right. And I need to accept
that who I am is a herder.
I don't care how many sheep blow up.
♪ ♪
Sheeps is stop!
Sheeps is assemble.
Sheeps is turn.
Honeys is front, Chiefs is perimeter!
- What? - Honey, figure it out.
It's not rocket science.
♪ ♪
- Sheeps is too many.
- Do it!
[bleating]
[explosion booms]
Not this time.
Sheeps is single files!
♪ ♪
Yes!
- Wow, Elsa. You really are good.
- What's important is that the sheep are safe.
And you just admitted that I was better than you.
- Elsas is closure.
[angelic music]
- [sighs] Finally, the silence of the sheeps.
- I will never forget you, Ennis.
- We'll see each other again.
[somber guitar music]
♪ ♪
- Well, I had an epiphany, and it might shock you.
[inhales]
I'm a pig.
A pig, pig.
- It's also important to note that he told me first.
- How long have you known?
- Well, on some level, I always knew,
but it wasn't until I met someone special
that I could admit it to myself.
- Well, that's wonderful, Max.
We love you, and we're proud of you.
- Okay, that's enough mushy stuff.
- And, uh-- and can I ask who this is?
- Oh, yes, we have a new member in our group.
Would you like to introduce yourself?
- Sheeps is sex addicts.
- Well, hello.
[horns honking]
- Why do I have to pretend
to be your sexy underaged girlfriend?
I mean, you're a pig, pig.
Own it. - Okay, listen,
Hollywood likes to think it's so woke,
but it's still very old fashioned.
This is my first big movie premiere,
and I don't wanna give anyone a reason to pig-geon hole me.
Now, look alive! We're here. [camera shutters clicking]
[electronic music]
♪ ♪
What? How did-- What's happening?
[sentimental music]
Aw, screw it!
[kissing]
Oink!
[snorts]
- Bento. [cheering]
- That's nice, Jen and Gabby.