1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:05,879 'Twas the night before Trashmas, 2 00:00:05,879 --> 00:00:07,782 and all through the yard, 3 00:00:07,782 --> 00:00:09,620 not a creature was stirring 4 00:00:09,620 --> 00:00:12,091 save for one Saint Bernard. 5 00:00:12,091 --> 00:00:14,963 Merry Trashmas! 6 00:00:14,963 --> 00:00:17,602 Oh, how can it still be dark? 7 00:00:17,602 --> 00:00:18,303 Honey, wake up! 8 00:00:18,303 --> 00:00:20,073 Ugh, go to sleep, Chief. 9 00:00:20,073 --> 00:00:21,376 Aah, I can't! 10 00:00:21,376 --> 00:00:24,181 Ah, Trashmas is my favorite holiday. 11 00:00:24,181 --> 00:00:27,756 All those beautiful overflowing garbage cans 12 00:00:27,756 --> 00:00:29,125 for me to knock over. 13 00:00:29,125 --> 00:00:31,262 Oh, I wonder what the Trashsquatch 14 00:00:31,262 --> 00:00:33,768 is gonna bring me this year. 15 00:00:33,768 --> 00:00:35,070 Trashsquatch can't come 16 00:00:35,070 --> 00:00:36,941 unless you go to sleep like a good boy. 17 00:00:36,941 --> 00:00:38,511 Can't sleep. Too excited. 18 00:00:38,511 --> 00:00:41,115 When I have insomnia, I practice mindfulness. 19 00:00:41,115 --> 00:00:42,318 Research has proven that-- 20 00:00:43,988 --> 00:00:45,558 Trashsquatch. 21 00:00:45,558 --> 00:00:46,627 Huh. 22 00:00:46,727 --> 00:00:50,300 The trash bins were stuffed in a haphazard way 23 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:53,674 for the animals' annual refuse buffet. 24 00:00:53,674 --> 00:00:57,949 They dreamt Trashmas dreams regardless of species, 25 00:00:57,949 --> 00:00:59,285 of bubble wrap, 26 00:00:59,285 --> 00:01:01,155 boxes... 27 00:01:01,155 --> 00:01:03,059 Old gravy, 28 00:01:03,059 --> 00:01:04,763 and feces. 29 00:01:07,434 --> 00:01:11,644 As the rays of sunshine began to appear... 30 00:01:13,246 --> 00:01:14,650 Honey, wake up! 31 00:01:14,650 --> 00:01:16,687 Trashmas is here! 32 00:01:16,687 --> 00:01:18,089 Ugh. 33 00:01:19,458 --> 00:01:21,162 Merry Trashmas! 34 00:01:21,162 --> 00:01:23,668 Me-rry Trash-mas. 35 00:01:26,573 --> 00:01:27,474 Aah! 36 00:01:27,474 --> 00:01:29,780 Where's all the garbage? - They're empty. 37 00:01:29,780 --> 00:01:31,817 I was such a good dog this year. 38 00:01:33,453 --> 00:01:35,625 Jill, something horrible has hap-- 39 00:01:36,694 --> 00:01:39,566 First no trash? Now no Jill? 40 00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:41,870 What did you do to anger the Trashsquatch? 41 00:01:41,870 --> 00:01:45,745 Look, Jill would never just up and leave us on Trashmas. 42 00:01:45,745 --> 00:01:46,614 I'm sure there's-- 43 00:01:46,614 --> 00:01:48,551 Jill! 44 00:01:48,551 --> 00:01:52,124 I told you she'd never leave us on Trashmas. 45 00:01:52,124 --> 00:01:54,128 What the suds? 46 00:01:54,128 --> 00:01:56,165 - What's up, dudes? - Where's Jill? 47 00:01:56,165 --> 00:01:57,468 I saw her leave early this morning, 48 00:01:57,468 --> 00:01:59,071 so I thought I'd take a spa day. 49 00:01:59,071 --> 00:02:00,374 On Trashmas? 50 00:02:00,374 --> 00:02:02,444 For raccoons, every day is Trashmas. 51 00:02:02,444 --> 00:02:05,150 And frankly, when you all start knocking down garbage cans, 52 00:02:05,250 --> 00:02:06,720 it feels like cultural appropriation. 53 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,691 She's gone? That's not like Jill at all. 54 00:02:08,691 --> 00:02:11,262 We had a good run with her, but she's gone, Honey. 55 00:02:11,262 --> 00:02:12,666 Let her go. We have to focus 56 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,337 one what's important and save Trashmas. 57 00:02:15,337 --> 00:02:17,241 In or out. You're letting out the steam. 58 00:02:17,241 --> 00:02:18,778 ♪ I'm in the doghouse ♪ 59 00:02:18,778 --> 00:02:22,786 ♪ 'Cause I let the cat out and the stupid dog ♪ 60 00:02:22,786 --> 00:02:25,424 ♪ Like, every winter, I like to chicken out ♪ 61 00:02:25,424 --> 00:02:27,529 ♪ Or drop off like a fly ♪ 62 00:02:27,629 --> 00:02:30,267 ♪ 'Cause something's smelling mighty fish ♪ 63 00:02:30,267 --> 00:02:33,173 ♪ This time of year ♪ 64 00:02:33,173 --> 00:02:35,410 ♪ Monkey see, monkey do ♪ 65 00:02:35,511 --> 00:02:38,049 ♪ Hold your horses, I'll take two ♪ 66 00:02:38,049 --> 00:02:40,420 ♪ Horsin' around ♪ 67 00:02:40,420 --> 00:02:43,059 ♪ Horsin' about ♪ 68 00:02:43,059 --> 00:02:45,397 ♪ I'm gonna make you unmask ♪ 69 00:02:45,397 --> 00:02:48,003 ♪ 'Cause I love you ♪ 70 00:02:49,238 --> 00:02:50,575 Ho ho ho! 71 00:02:51,944 --> 00:02:54,983 Sure, I remember my mother eating my father and sisters, 72 00:02:55,083 --> 00:02:56,419 but I still remember it 73 00:02:56,419 --> 00:02:59,225 as one of the best Trashmases I ever had. 74 00:03:00,027 --> 00:03:01,295 Any feedback? 75 00:03:01,295 --> 00:03:04,335 Uh, well, yeah, gender is fluid. 76 00:03:04,335 --> 00:03:06,339 I'm sorry. I know I'm distracted. 77 00:03:06,339 --> 00:03:09,178 Jill disappeared, and so, I'm gonna need to multitask 78 00:03:09,178 --> 00:03:10,347 between my group duties 79 00:03:10,347 --> 00:03:12,251 and staring intensely at the front door. 80 00:03:12,251 --> 00:03:14,255 What does staring at the door accomplish? 81 00:03:14,255 --> 00:03:16,392 It's a dog thing. You wouldn't understand. 82 00:03:16,392 --> 00:03:18,463 All right, I'll ask. What's with the head bling? 83 00:03:18,463 --> 00:03:19,699 Well, my dad got drunk 84 00:03:19,699 --> 00:03:21,670 and left before taking off these antlers, 85 00:03:21,670 --> 00:03:24,141 so I was locked outside alone all night. 86 00:03:25,678 --> 00:03:28,116 It's actually much sadder than it sounds. 87 00:03:28,116 --> 00:03:29,385 You get used to being alone. 88 00:03:29,385 --> 00:03:30,287 I like to play this fun game 89 00:03:30,287 --> 00:03:33,193 where I try to remember Kevin's face. 90 00:03:33,193 --> 00:03:35,197 I can't do it! 91 00:03:35,197 --> 00:03:36,132 You're welcome to come to my place 92 00:03:36,132 --> 00:03:37,367 for Trashmas dinner, Cheeks. 93 00:03:37,367 --> 00:03:39,539 Really? I've never had a real Trashmas. 94 00:03:39,539 --> 00:03:41,342 Kevin likes to travel over the holidays... 95 00:03:41,342 --> 00:03:42,444 and most days. 96 00:03:42,444 --> 00:03:44,315 Oh, I remember what he looks like! 97 00:03:44,315 --> 00:03:45,450 Nope. I lost it. 98 00:03:45,450 --> 00:03:46,653 And I sure hope he comes home soon. 99 00:03:46,754 --> 00:03:48,423 My bowl's been empty for two days. 100 00:03:48,423 --> 00:03:50,528 Hey, I also can't remember what food looks like. 101 00:03:50,528 --> 00:03:51,897 You could come too, Tabitha. 102 00:03:51,897 --> 00:03:54,669 It's usually 20% less violent during the holidays. 103 00:03:54,669 --> 00:03:56,540 I hope this doesn't come off as elitist, 104 00:03:56,540 --> 00:03:59,412 but I'm far too good for your sad slop-fest. 105 00:03:59,412 --> 00:04:01,249 A Boxing Day feast awaits me. 106 00:04:01,249 --> 00:04:02,786 There's always a mountain of leftovers 107 00:04:02,786 --> 00:04:05,490 even the hungriest cat could never summit. 108 00:04:05,490 --> 00:04:07,494 - Was that an invite? - Totally. 109 00:04:07,494 --> 00:04:08,831 Has she always had that accent? 110 00:04:08,831 --> 00:04:11,436 Well, I've been uncharacteristically quiet 111 00:04:11,436 --> 00:04:13,808 this morning, and I'm sure you're all wondering why. 112 00:04:13,808 --> 00:04:14,976 - Nope. - Not at all. 113 00:04:14,976 --> 00:04:15,978 I liked it, actually. 114 00:04:15,978 --> 00:04:17,281 Because it looks like 115 00:04:17,281 --> 00:04:19,753 I'll be spending yet another Trashmas alone. 116 00:04:19,753 --> 00:04:22,424 "Oh, what about that hot Shar Pei you were seeing?" 117 00:04:22,424 --> 00:04:24,763 Well, if you must know, I dumped him. 118 00:04:24,763 --> 00:04:26,900 I mean, sure, we had white-hot chemistry, 119 00:04:26,900 --> 00:04:29,606 but there was nothing going on underneath those wrinkles. 120 00:04:29,606 --> 00:04:32,044 It was all, "I don't know. What do you want to pee on?" 121 00:04:32,044 --> 00:04:32,979 "What do you want to sniff?" 122 00:04:32,979 --> 00:04:36,219 And I'm like, "Take charge. Regrow a pair." 123 00:04:36,219 --> 00:04:37,655 You're welcome to come to my place 124 00:04:37,655 --> 00:04:40,528 and rifle through the Bronson's trash. 125 00:04:40,528 --> 00:04:43,433 I'm just pathetic enough to say yes. 126 00:04:43,433 --> 00:04:45,003 Me too! I'm pathetic. 127 00:04:45,003 --> 00:04:46,038 Can I come? 128 00:04:46,038 --> 00:04:47,642 Darla won't be there. 129 00:04:47,642 --> 00:04:49,513 We're going through a rough patch. 130 00:04:49,513 --> 00:04:52,351 Says I don't spend enough time with the kids. 131 00:04:52,351 --> 00:04:53,787 They're eggs! 132 00:04:53,787 --> 00:04:54,956 Jill? 133 00:04:54,956 --> 00:04:56,392 Ugh, it's just the mail. 134 00:04:56,392 --> 00:04:57,427 Mail? both: Mail? 135 00:04:57,427 --> 00:04:59,633 - Finish her! - She's mine! 136 00:04:59,633 --> 00:05:00,535 Dogs. 137 00:05:00,535 --> 00:05:02,237 They have no dignity. 138 00:05:04,576 --> 00:05:07,114 I just want a guy who knows what he wants. 139 00:05:07,114 --> 00:05:08,751 I know what Darla wants. 140 00:05:08,751 --> 00:05:11,489 For me to share in the responsibility 141 00:05:11,489 --> 00:05:13,627 of watching over our egg clutch 142 00:05:13,627 --> 00:05:15,497 so she doesn't have to sit in the woods 143 00:05:15,598 --> 00:05:18,537 protecting them from predators all alone? 144 00:05:18,537 --> 00:05:19,639 As if! 145 00:05:19,639 --> 00:05:22,745 Did someone order a trash kebab? 146 00:05:22,745 --> 00:05:25,250 Well, look who is finally useful! 147 00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:27,254 Aw, thanks. 148 00:05:27,254 --> 00:05:29,024 Maybe the universe is telling me 149 00:05:29,024 --> 00:05:30,327 that it's better to be alone 150 00:05:30,327 --> 00:05:33,132 than chase some nonexistent ideal male. 151 00:05:33,132 --> 00:05:34,335 Like this! 152 00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,905 See, this is what I'm talking about. 153 00:05:36,005 --> 00:05:39,278 Madison Avenue creates these unattainable-- 154 00:05:42,519 --> 00:05:45,223 Oh, my God. You're the dog from the box. 155 00:05:45,223 --> 00:05:47,394 I'm Robo. Pet me. 156 00:05:47,394 --> 00:05:49,365 Ooh, so direct. 157 00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:51,803 You know what you want and just ask for it. 158 00:05:51,904 --> 00:05:52,705 I'm Elsa. 159 00:05:52,705 --> 00:05:55,277 What can Robo do for you today? 160 00:05:55,277 --> 00:05:57,481 Baby, you're doing it. 161 00:05:57,481 --> 00:06:00,186 Dear Lord, what is that smell? 162 00:06:00,186 --> 00:06:02,057 Rancid crab dip. 163 00:06:02,057 --> 00:06:03,493 It's Darla's favorite. 164 00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:06,465 I think we ate it on our first Trashmas together. 165 00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:08,771 And now I've left the best stone-cold freak 166 00:06:08,771 --> 00:06:11,442 I've ever known alone in the woods? 167 00:06:11,442 --> 00:06:14,616 God, what have I done? 168 00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:18,356 Come home. Come home. Oh, God. 169 00:06:18,356 --> 00:06:19,458 Jill's never gone this long. 170 00:06:19,458 --> 00:06:20,327 Come home. Come home. 171 00:06:20,327 --> 00:06:22,197 How long have we been standing watch? 172 00:06:22,197 --> 00:06:23,534 A while. 173 00:06:23,534 --> 00:06:25,671 Take off that stupid Santa beard! 174 00:06:25,671 --> 00:06:27,709 Something terrible has happened to Jill. 175 00:06:27,709 --> 00:06:30,313 Do you hear how crazy you sound? 176 00:06:30,313 --> 00:06:32,384 Nothing bad can happen on Trashmas 177 00:06:32,384 --> 00:06:34,421 because it's the one day that the Trashsquatch 178 00:06:34,421 --> 00:06:36,425 and his jolly invisible garbage goblins 179 00:06:36,425 --> 00:06:37,695 protect us all. 180 00:06:37,695 --> 00:06:39,298 Ugh, I can't with this right now. 181 00:06:39,298 --> 00:06:40,668 No! 182 00:06:41,870 --> 00:06:45,010 Okay, when Jill left, describe exactly what you saw. 183 00:06:45,010 --> 00:06:47,715 Well, she was laughing and had one of those boxes 184 00:06:47,715 --> 00:06:50,721 with the wheels and the handle humans use when they go away. 185 00:06:50,721 --> 00:06:52,692 Okay, she was laughing. That's good. 186 00:06:52,692 --> 00:06:54,128 Oh, you thought she was laughing? 187 00:06:54,128 --> 00:06:55,363 I thought she was crying. 188 00:06:55,363 --> 00:06:56,399 I didn't see her! 189 00:06:56,399 --> 00:06:57,635 Oh, yeah. Me neither. 190 00:06:57,635 --> 00:06:59,739 But she sure got out of here in a hurry. 191 00:06:59,739 --> 00:07:02,110 And then, this big guy dressed in black 192 00:07:02,210 --> 00:07:02,912 grabbed her wheely box. 193 00:07:03,046 --> 00:07:04,516 And she said, "No, no, I got it." 194 00:07:04,516 --> 00:07:05,952 But then, he took it anyway 195 00:07:05,952 --> 00:07:08,590 and threw them both in this big, black car. 196 00:07:08,590 --> 00:07:10,493 Jill is never coming back. 197 00:07:10,493 --> 00:07:13,166 And now, we're home alone! 198 00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:14,936 Aah! 199 00:07:14,936 --> 00:07:17,809 Okay. Okay, I was where you are at first, 200 00:07:17,809 --> 00:07:20,347 but then I opened my heart to the spirit of Trash-- 201 00:07:20,347 --> 00:07:22,652 Enough! Trashmas is for puppies! 202 00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:25,256 You're six, and you need to grow up! 203 00:07:25,256 --> 00:07:27,260 Maybe you need to grow down. 204 00:07:27,260 --> 00:07:28,564 No wonder the Trashsquatch 205 00:07:28,564 --> 00:07:30,534 didn't bring you any garbage this year. 206 00:07:30,534 --> 00:07:33,741 There is no Trashsquatch! 207 00:07:33,741 --> 00:07:36,713 Who hurt you? 208 00:07:40,086 --> 00:07:42,992 I'm trying something. What do you think? 209 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:49,706 Welcome back to the certain percentage of you 210 00:07:49,706 --> 00:07:53,881 who decided to not spring for ad-free Hulu 211 00:07:53,881 --> 00:07:58,022 as our cats walked across town to eat Tabitha's meal 212 00:07:58,022 --> 00:08:01,763 and Elsa came on to a dog made of steel. 213 00:08:01,763 --> 00:08:05,871 And with Jill's absence harder for her to explain, 214 00:08:05,871 --> 00:08:09,646 Honey's worry was starting to drive her insane. 215 00:08:09,646 --> 00:08:11,850 Okay, got to think. Did Jill have any enemies? 216 00:08:11,850 --> 00:08:13,754 Wait, what am I saying? Who could hate Jill? 217 00:08:13,754 --> 00:08:15,691 She's pure love wrapped in rainbows 218 00:08:15,691 --> 00:08:17,595 and a mumu from Ross Dress for Less. 219 00:08:17,595 --> 00:08:19,031 Jill? 220 00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,741 This is bad. 221 00:08:23,741 --> 00:08:25,611 Chief! 222 00:08:25,611 --> 00:08:26,880 Go away, intruder! 223 00:08:26,980 --> 00:08:29,652 I have all my teeth and none of my shots! 224 00:08:31,322 --> 00:08:32,992 Chief, get over here! 225 00:08:32,992 --> 00:08:34,428 Chief! 226 00:08:34,428 --> 00:08:35,931 Okay, I'll tell you, 227 00:08:35,931 --> 00:08:38,136 but you have to promise not to judge me. 228 00:08:38,136 --> 00:08:40,473 I've always wanted to learn how to sniff for drugs. 229 00:08:40,473 --> 00:08:42,244 I mean, is that crazy? 230 00:08:43,847 --> 00:08:45,483 Thank you for not laughing. 231 00:08:45,483 --> 00:08:46,953 God, I really feel like 232 00:08:46,953 --> 00:08:49,559 I can let my guard down around you. 233 00:08:49,559 --> 00:08:51,128 Scratch my head. 234 00:08:51,128 --> 00:08:52,565 Mm, yes, sir. 235 00:08:52,565 --> 00:08:54,101 God, you know, it's funny. 236 00:08:54,101 --> 00:08:56,973 This morning, before we met, I had given up on dating. 237 00:08:56,973 --> 00:08:59,679 Just resigned to spend another holiday all alone. 238 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:01,550 But are you free-- 239 00:09:01,550 --> 00:09:03,620 - We have to go! - Dang it, Shel. 240 00:09:03,620 --> 00:09:04,923 It was about to get humpy. 241 00:09:04,923 --> 00:09:06,927 The tortoise I love is alone in the woods 242 00:09:07,027 --> 00:09:09,866 with my nearly born because I abandoned her. 243 00:09:09,866 --> 00:09:11,503 So go get her. I'm kind of working 244 00:09:11,503 --> 00:09:13,239 on not being alone myself. 245 00:09:13,239 --> 00:09:14,609 Get it, girl. 246 00:09:14,609 --> 00:09:16,880 The thing is, I haven't visited the clutch 247 00:09:16,880 --> 00:09:18,550 as much as I should have-- 248 00:09:18,550 --> 00:09:19,819 or even once-- 249 00:09:19,819 --> 00:09:21,923 so I don't know where she is. 250 00:09:21,923 --> 00:09:24,495 I require your dog noses to track her. 251 00:09:24,495 --> 00:09:25,898 - We'll do it! - We have to go now 252 00:09:25,898 --> 00:09:27,802 before the nocturnals wake. 253 00:09:27,802 --> 00:09:29,706 Tortoise eggs are delicious. 254 00:09:29,706 --> 00:09:31,610 Don't ask me how I know. 255 00:09:31,610 --> 00:09:33,446 Ah! She's three clicks this way. 256 00:09:33,446 --> 00:09:34,883 Let's roll. We're losing light. 257 00:09:34,883 --> 00:09:37,254 Hey, so, uh, my friends are taking off. 258 00:09:37,254 --> 00:09:40,561 If you want, you and I could chase sticks and chill. 259 00:09:40,561 --> 00:09:42,565 - You're my friend. - Oh. 260 00:09:42,565 --> 00:09:44,669 I see. Just friends. 261 00:09:44,669 --> 00:09:46,405 - Friends. - No, I got it! 262 00:09:47,675 --> 00:09:50,480 Thank you for being honest and not leading me on... 263 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:52,350 more than you already have. 264 00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:54,254 You're not better than me! 265 00:09:59,097 --> 00:10:00,668 Chief, please help! 266 00:10:00,668 --> 00:10:03,540 Oh, now you want to play with garbage. 267 00:10:03,540 --> 00:10:04,943 I know you're mad at me, 268 00:10:04,943 --> 00:10:07,447 and you're not my favorite dog right now either, 269 00:10:07,447 --> 00:10:09,384 but there is an intruder trying to-- 270 00:10:09,384 --> 00:10:10,955 Aah! 271 00:10:10,955 --> 00:10:14,194 Oh, you get your stinkin' hands off my Honey, 272 00:10:14,194 --> 00:10:15,898 you damn dirty arm! 273 00:10:18,770 --> 00:10:22,945 Honey, we cannot go outside. It's crawling with arms. 274 00:10:23,814 --> 00:10:24,916 Did you bring anything, 275 00:10:24,916 --> 00:10:26,953 you know, like flowers or a dead lizard? 276 00:10:26,953 --> 00:10:28,657 I mean, everything was closed today. 277 00:10:28,657 --> 00:10:29,859 Ow! - Oh, sorry. 278 00:10:29,859 --> 00:10:31,596 I thought it was a churro. - Well, it's not. 279 00:10:31,596 --> 00:10:33,065 It's actually--ow! 280 00:10:33,065 --> 00:10:34,636 What the hell is wrong with you? 281 00:10:34,636 --> 00:10:36,005 I have no excuse this time. 282 00:10:36,005 --> 00:10:38,710 I'm just so hun-- 283 00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:41,583 Why are you in my garage making gross sounds? 284 00:10:41,583 --> 00:10:44,556 You didn't specify what time to pop by 285 00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:45,558 when you invited us. 286 00:10:45,558 --> 00:10:46,927 I didn't invite you. 287 00:10:46,927 --> 00:10:49,264 Oh, see, we thought you did. 288 00:10:49,264 --> 00:10:51,903 But we'll get out of your fur. No harm, no foul. 289 00:10:51,903 --> 00:10:53,807 No, there's definitely harm. 290 00:10:53,807 --> 00:10:56,111 Why would you brag about a mountain of food 291 00:10:56,111 --> 00:10:59,853 to two neglected cats if you weren't inviting us? 292 00:10:59,853 --> 00:11:01,756 I thought it might be aspirational for you. 293 00:11:01,756 --> 00:11:03,961 Hey. Hey, these things happen. 294 00:11:03,961 --> 00:11:05,063 It's fine. 295 00:11:05,063 --> 00:11:08,369 It's not fine! 296 00:11:11,075 --> 00:11:14,582 This was going to be my first real Trashmas, 297 00:11:14,582 --> 00:11:16,586 and you ruined it! 298 00:11:16,586 --> 00:11:17,655 What is happening? 299 00:11:17,655 --> 00:11:19,024 Have you seen him do this before? 300 00:11:19,024 --> 00:11:21,796 Never, and I don't know much about his backstory, 301 00:11:21,897 --> 00:11:24,034 you know, apart from him being rescued as a kitten 302 00:11:24,034 --> 00:11:26,606 from an abandoned military gamma ray facility. 303 00:11:26,606 --> 00:11:30,046 Tabitha, you are selfish! 304 00:11:30,046 --> 00:11:33,720 Okay, why don't we all just take a deep-- 305 00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,258 And you are an enabler! 306 00:11:36,258 --> 00:11:39,064 If that's what you think, I support you. 307 00:11:39,064 --> 00:11:43,640 Trashmas is about garbage, food, and friendship. 308 00:11:43,640 --> 00:11:46,546 This place is clean, no food, 309 00:11:46,546 --> 00:11:48,717 and you're no friend! 310 00:11:48,717 --> 00:11:51,723 Oh, Chico, you're scare-rousing me. 311 00:11:51,723 --> 00:11:55,496 Chico smash! 312 00:11:55,496 --> 00:11:57,367 Food! 313 00:11:59,739 --> 00:12:01,977 It's not not sexy. 314 00:12:06,653 --> 00:12:08,724 We're close. Stay frosty. 315 00:12:08,824 --> 00:12:10,728 I hope Darla forgives me, but-- 316 00:12:10,728 --> 00:12:12,364 You're right. Robo's trash. 317 00:12:12,364 --> 00:12:15,370 Just once, I'd like to find someone who will chase me. 318 00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:17,775 Play with me. 319 00:12:24,354 --> 00:12:26,993 Robo! My Robo! 320 00:12:31,937 --> 00:12:33,674 I knew you'd come back to me. 321 00:12:33,674 --> 00:12:35,376 You're my master. 322 00:12:35,376 --> 00:12:39,519 If you're trying to turn me on, mission accomplished. 323 00:12:39,519 --> 00:12:41,589 How are you so perfect? 324 00:12:41,589 --> 00:12:43,059 I love you. 325 00:12:43,059 --> 00:12:46,265 Uh, that's a little fast. 326 00:12:46,265 --> 00:12:49,137 What can Robo do for you today? 327 00:12:49,137 --> 00:12:53,112 Uh, you can start by taking it down a notch. 328 00:12:53,981 --> 00:12:56,251 Okay, a little space. 329 00:12:58,422 --> 00:12:59,424 Do you see him? 330 00:12:59,424 --> 00:13:01,061 Not an arm in sight. 331 00:13:01,061 --> 00:13:02,898 - We did it! - We did it! Yeah! 332 00:13:05,303 --> 00:13:07,608 Where are those footsteps coming from? 333 00:13:07,608 --> 00:13:09,946 Here, doggy, doggy, doggies. 334 00:13:09,946 --> 00:13:13,954 They're coming from inside the house! 335 00:13:17,995 --> 00:13:21,302 I pray you're not sick of this recap device, 336 00:13:21,302 --> 00:13:25,476 but distracted viewing is a most common vice. 337 00:13:25,476 --> 00:13:27,682 Once charmed from Robo, 338 00:13:27,682 --> 00:13:30,386 Elsa now found him cheesy. 339 00:13:30,386 --> 00:13:34,461 Shel worried his kids might be eggs over easy. 340 00:13:34,562 --> 00:13:39,004 The unwelcomed stranger kept sneakin' and skulkin', 341 00:13:39,004 --> 00:13:42,745 so Honey and Chief went totally Culkin. 342 00:13:42,745 --> 00:13:44,549 - Pull it tighter! - Shh! 343 00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:47,922 - And... - Go! 344 00:13:49,892 --> 00:13:51,529 - Whoo-hoo! - Ha ha ha! 345 00:13:51,529 --> 00:13:53,967 Ha? both: Aah! 346 00:13:53,967 --> 00:13:55,637 There's an intruder in the house! 347 00:13:55,637 --> 00:13:57,240 And we need your hands! 348 00:13:57,340 --> 00:13:58,710 It's go-time, boys. 349 00:13:58,710 --> 00:14:01,448 You look amazing. 350 00:14:04,154 --> 00:14:06,726 - Scratch my head. - Maybe later. 351 00:14:06,726 --> 00:14:08,295 Rub my belly. 352 00:14:08,295 --> 00:14:11,402 Has it ever occurred to you that I might have needs too? 353 00:14:11,402 --> 00:14:12,170 Of course not! 354 00:14:12,170 --> 00:14:14,809 - I love you. - Just stop it. 355 00:14:14,809 --> 00:14:16,445 You don't love me. 356 00:14:16,445 --> 00:14:19,117 You love the idea of me. 357 00:14:20,086 --> 00:14:22,892 I hate myself when I'm with you. 358 00:14:23,660 --> 00:14:25,196 Uh, look, Cheeks, 359 00:14:25,196 --> 00:14:28,369 based on the way you flipped over a minivan, 360 00:14:28,369 --> 00:14:30,173 I know you're hungry, but I can't promise 361 00:14:30,173 --> 00:14:32,444 there's gonna be a lot of food left. 362 00:14:36,151 --> 00:14:38,790 all: ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 363 00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:40,894 ♪ Hallelujah ♪ 364 00:14:40,894 --> 00:14:43,600 ♪ Hallelujah, Hallelujah ♪ 365 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:46,773 - It's a Trashmas miracle! - It's a Trashmas miracle! 366 00:14:46,773 --> 00:14:48,375 Actually, it's not a miracle. 367 00:14:48,375 --> 00:14:51,014 The neighbors just gave our lady all their leftovers 368 00:14:51,014 --> 00:14:52,183 to assuage their guilt 369 00:14:52,183 --> 00:14:54,154 when they finally condemn this place. 370 00:14:54,154 --> 00:14:56,425 Not now, The Actually One. 371 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,972 I casually sauntered here 372 00:15:02,972 --> 00:15:04,074 as fast as I could. 373 00:15:04,074 --> 00:15:06,145 I've reflected on my actions, 374 00:15:06,145 --> 00:15:07,982 and I have found them wanting. 375 00:15:07,982 --> 00:15:10,621 - A-plus apology. - I didn't hear an apology. 376 00:15:10,621 --> 00:15:12,892 I am... sorry. 377 00:15:12,892 --> 00:15:15,864 That's the Trashmas miracle! 378 00:15:15,864 --> 00:15:17,100 - Actually-- - Ugh! 379 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,505 I swear to God, The Actually One! 380 00:15:19,505 --> 00:15:21,843 Guys, now that my blood/ham ratio is stabilized, 381 00:15:21,843 --> 00:15:23,245 I want to say I'm sorry. 382 00:15:23,245 --> 00:15:25,483 That thing I became wasn't me. 383 00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:29,759 Well, whoever he was, does he still want to smash? 384 00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,175 Do you give up, 385 00:15:38,175 --> 00:15:40,647 or are you thirsty for more? 386 00:15:43,018 --> 00:15:45,691 A little tinkle, tinkle, tinkle. 387 00:15:48,028 --> 00:15:50,133 It burns! 388 00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:52,403 Yeah, you should probably get that checked. 389 00:16:07,968 --> 00:16:10,239 Too much? 390 00:16:10,239 --> 00:16:12,377 And even though I have to end this, 391 00:16:12,377 --> 00:16:14,181 I want you to know I don't regret 392 00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,285 a single second of the time we shared, 393 00:16:16,285 --> 00:16:19,157 and I'll always hold a piece of you in my heart. 394 00:16:19,157 --> 00:16:21,361 We just want different-- - Pet me. 395 00:16:21,361 --> 00:16:23,165 And this is what I'm talking about. 396 00:16:23,165 --> 00:16:26,873 I love... 397 00:16:26,873 --> 00:16:29,177 you. 398 00:16:29,979 --> 00:16:31,448 Robo? 399 00:16:31,448 --> 00:16:32,183 Robo! 400 00:16:32,183 --> 00:16:34,087 I literally broke his heart! 401 00:16:34,087 --> 00:16:36,258 Don't you die on me! 402 00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:39,799 Breathe, damn it! 403 00:16:39,799 --> 00:16:41,034 Don't leave me like this! 404 00:16:41,034 --> 00:16:42,505 It's too soon! 405 00:16:42,505 --> 00:16:45,009 You know her better than I do. 406 00:16:45,009 --> 00:16:46,311 How long do you think-- 407 00:16:46,311 --> 00:16:47,948 Yeah, she's gonna milk this for a while. 408 00:16:48,048 --> 00:16:48,917 We should skedaddle. 409 00:16:48,917 --> 00:16:52,090 Take me instead! 410 00:16:52,591 --> 00:16:55,597 We'll only get one shot, so we have to be perfect. 411 00:16:55,597 --> 00:16:58,269 Can I just say that you're really good at this? 412 00:16:58,269 --> 00:17:01,910 Aw, thanks. You got some killer in you too. 413 00:17:01,910 --> 00:17:03,880 Because we have time for this! 414 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:05,216 Okay, on my signal, 415 00:17:05,216 --> 00:17:07,253 Honey will go to the kitchen and start barking. 416 00:17:07,253 --> 00:17:09,257 He'll avoid her, move to the front of the house 417 00:17:09,257 --> 00:17:11,461 and into the living room, where it'll be dark 418 00:17:11,461 --> 00:17:13,533 because Raccoon will break all the lamps. 419 00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,504 This fill force him to walk through a minefield 420 00:17:15,504 --> 00:17:17,975 of my strategically placed poops. 421 00:17:17,975 --> 00:17:20,647 The three of us will then meet here. 422 00:17:22,985 --> 00:17:25,289 This works too. 423 00:17:31,603 --> 00:17:33,773 That's it! Run away! 424 00:17:37,548 --> 00:17:40,419 Oh, I've never felt so alive! What's next? 425 00:17:40,419 --> 00:17:42,625 Oh, I know. Let's rob a bank! 426 00:17:42,625 --> 00:17:44,294 Yeah--no. 427 00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:46,866 Godspeed, beautiful traveler. 428 00:17:46,866 --> 00:17:48,904 I'll never forget you, Bobo. 429 00:17:48,904 --> 00:17:52,410 Robo. Sorry, I've had a day. 430 00:17:52,410 --> 00:17:55,216 Hey, I didn't mean to trash your love of Trashmas. 431 00:17:55,216 --> 00:17:56,485 Don't know when it happened, 432 00:17:56,485 --> 00:17:58,823 but I think I lost my inner puppy. 433 00:17:58,823 --> 00:18:00,326 No, you were right. 434 00:18:00,326 --> 00:18:02,731 Trashmas is just a story for the young ones. 435 00:18:02,731 --> 00:18:05,236 I do need to grow-- 436 00:18:05,236 --> 00:18:07,608 It's a Trashmas miracle. 437 00:18:08,877 --> 00:18:11,248 Thank you, Trashsquatch! 438 00:18:11,248 --> 00:18:14,487 You do realize that we were the ones who-- 439 00:18:14,487 --> 00:18:17,995 who just missed seeing the Trashsquatch! 440 00:18:17,995 --> 00:18:19,632 Hey, want to make garbage angels? 441 00:18:19,632 --> 00:18:22,437 Do I? 442 00:18:33,158 --> 00:18:36,031 If even gross animals can find love, 443 00:18:36,031 --> 00:18:38,035 maybe there is hope for me someday. 444 00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,641 Elsa! 445 00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:42,410 You found us. - Yeah. 446 00:18:42,410 --> 00:18:44,014 Thanks for peeing so much. 447 00:18:44,014 --> 00:18:45,784 Elsa, just in time. 448 00:18:45,784 --> 00:18:47,053 It's happening! 449 00:18:47,053 --> 00:18:49,324 It's a Trashmas miracle. 450 00:18:49,424 --> 00:18:50,359 Mm. 451 00:18:50,359 --> 00:18:51,796 Aw. 452 00:18:59,311 --> 00:19:00,847 They're beautiful... 453 00:19:00,947 --> 00:19:03,385 and delicious, but mostly beautiful. 454 00:19:03,385 --> 00:19:06,258 Oh, that tickles. 455 00:19:06,258 --> 00:19:08,062 Oh! 456 00:19:08,062 --> 00:19:11,536 Oh, I forgot those were fake. 457 00:19:12,938 --> 00:19:14,240 Oh, hey, little guy. 458 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,111 Oh, you want your head scratched? 459 00:19:16,111 --> 00:19:18,616 Robo? 460 00:19:18,616 --> 00:19:22,056 It's you! Your spirit came back to me! 461 00:19:22,056 --> 00:19:24,394 Aw, Robo. 462 00:19:24,394 --> 00:19:27,701 Why is that dog hitting on my daughter? 463 00:19:33,646 --> 00:19:35,851 - You're an artist. - Thanks. 464 00:19:35,851 --> 00:19:36,753 What's wrong? 465 00:19:36,853 --> 00:19:39,257 I'm still kind of worried about Jill. 466 00:19:39,257 --> 00:19:41,128 Honey, I promise you two things: 467 00:19:41,128 --> 00:19:42,664 one, Jill is gonna be home soon, 468 00:19:42,765 --> 00:19:46,572 and two, she's gonna be overjoyed to see us. 469 00:19:46,672 --> 00:19:48,810 - What did you do? - You were half-right. 470 00:19:48,810 --> 00:19:51,582 And you've been permanently banned from the Wagger app! 471 00:19:51,582 --> 00:19:55,122 I mean, look at this place. Why would you do this? 472 00:19:57,060 --> 00:19:59,197 Oh, no. I did this. 473 00:19:59,197 --> 00:20:03,072 - No, we did-- - Shh, let's play this out. 474 00:20:03,072 --> 00:20:05,242 You never cause this much damage 475 00:20:05,342 --> 00:20:07,815 unless you're horribly upset. 476 00:20:07,815 --> 00:20:09,117 And why wouldn't you be? 477 00:20:09,117 --> 00:20:11,254 I left without saying goodbye 478 00:20:11,254 --> 00:20:13,258 only to be catfished by a 14-year-old 479 00:20:13,258 --> 00:20:14,494 in Hacienda Heights. 480 00:20:14,494 --> 00:20:17,200 I'm so sorry. 481 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,903 Come here. Come here. 482 00:20:18,903 --> 00:20:24,414 I promise I'll never abandon you at Christmastime again. 483 00:20:24,414 --> 00:20:26,819 - What's Christmastime? - I don't know. 484 00:20:26,919 --> 00:20:28,523 There was trash everywhere-- 485 00:20:28,523 --> 00:20:31,061 women's razors and men's, 486 00:20:31,061 --> 00:20:32,965 bottle and briskets, 487 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:34,935 an old man's Depends. 488 00:20:34,935 --> 00:20:38,142 But our animals learned one true thing in the end: 489 00:20:38,142 --> 00:20:40,881 the best kind of garbage to find 490 00:20:40,881 --> 00:20:42,618 is good friends. 491 00:20:42,618 --> 00:20:46,324 That's all I've got. You've heard my whole spiel. 492 00:20:46,324 --> 00:20:48,328 A merry Trashmas to all. 493 00:20:48,328 --> 00:20:50,332 And hells yeah I'm real. 494 00:20:50,332 --> 00:20:53,038 ♪ I'm dreamin' ♪ 495 00:20:53,038 --> 00:20:56,712 ♪ Of a white Christmas ♪ 496 00:21:00,186 --> 00:21:02,123 Mm, yeah. 497 00:21:25,236 --> 00:21:26,271 Oh. 498 00:21:29,410 --> 00:21:32,518 Eh--aah! - Aah! 499 00:21:37,093 --> 00:21:38,061 That's nice, Jen and Gabby.