Four-star general.
There is no rank higher in the United States military.
You report only to Sec Def and POTUS, the commander in chief.
Congratulations, General Naird.
Thank you. Thank you.
It has always been my dream to command a service branch.
I have been shot down, both literally and figuratively,
but I have always gotten back up.
All right.
My old CO used to say that the greatest asset in an F-35,
and that is a $100 million plane,
is its pilot.
When I was... All right. I'll skip ahead.
There's much more that I could say.
I only wish that...
my parents could have been here to see this.
But they were unable to get flights from New Jersey in time.
Maggie, Erin, this is a Naird family team win.
Woo-woo.
- So proud of you. - Thanks.
I don't get it.
Dad, when you made three-star, we had 100 guests and a band.
It's a different administration, bug.
This one's... a little more chaotic.
The Air Force chief's house in Arlington is gorgeous and comes with a staff.
Thank you.
Dad, I am so proud of you.
- Thanks. - General.
Joint Chiefs in five minutes. Come on.
Kick.
Get lost, Naird. This is for four-stars.
Like me.
They didn't tell you? Or did you forget?
Like you forgot to get competitive bidding for the AT-6B.
Tell me what? That you wear a dress?
I knew that already.
Gender roles.
Offensive. And out of date. Just like you.
But I don't have to listen to it anymore.
Good luck with your retirement, Kick.
And I say that facetiously,
because you're a crook and a womanizer, and I hate your guts.
God, that felt good.
Welcome, gentlemen, thank you for joining us.
POTUS wants to make some changes.
He's tweeting about it in five minutes, so let's hope you like it.
I wanna welcome our newest four-star general, Mark Naird,
formerly number two at the Air Force.
He's done an amazing job, has a most distinguished career.
- Our nation's internet in... - Excuse me.
Why is Kick still in the room? I don't...
Our nation's internet, including Twitter,
runs through our vulnerable space satellites.
POTUS wants complete space dominance.
Boots on the moon by 2024.
To that end, the president is creating a new branch.
Space Force.
Which Mark will run.
What?
In close cooperation with Air Force, which Kick will still head.
You've gotta be kidding me.
This is not a joke. His words!
Boots on the moon in 2024.
Actually, he said, "Boobs on the moon," but we believe that to be a typo.
This is bullshit. Space is part of the air.
Naird works for me.
Hang on. Hang on. I don't think there's air in space.
There certainly isn't any damn water, Admiral, so you don't get an opinion.
Air Force used to just be part of the Army, Kick.
I'd like to stuff you both back in.
If there's no air or water, two questions.
What is it exactly, and why can't they hear you scream?
Well, at least Coast Guard isn't last in line anymore.
- You're still last. - Definitely last.
You're behind Salvation Army, Louis.
So, how are you handling this?
I know you wanted the Air Force, and you're not the most flexible person.
I can be flexible if I'm ordered to be.
I'll admit I was a little disappointed at first.
But then I saw this painting. John Paul Jones.
And it made me think.
The founder of the Space Force, that's going to be me.
This is such a great opportunity to start something from the ground up.
We're gonna build a huge new base.
Well, DC real estate, the way it is,
you'll be lucky if it's this side of Dulles Airport.
Well, it's definitely gonna be on the other side of Dulles.
By about 2,000 miles.
- We're going to Colorado. - What?
There's this old NORAD facility that's got a lot of potential.
And Colorado?
Up and coming.
Did you know Amazon put their new headquarters there?
Really?
No. But they seriously considered it.
You and Erin are gonna love it there.
Gonna learn how to ride horses.
It's gonna be a good year.
And next year at this time...
we might have boots on the moon.
Big launch today?
Launch?
At the new base.
What base?
Right. It's a secret.
If you told me, you'd have to kill me, right?
- Hey. - Sir.
There's a guy in the trunk. Hold him till after the launch.
Yes, sir.
What the fuck, man?
So then you say do bat your eye...
- Big launch today, sir. - Yes.
The congressional delegation will be arriving for lunch.
You have to speak for ten minutes
at the local high school.
Don't worry. We have a new helo pilot.
We'll get you in and out of there in no time.
And the launch at 1700
is set to be a live feed on the East Coast.
You have a light day today, so you can start in the gym,
and your calendar says it's a leg day.
Dr. Mallory.
Dr. Mallory is waiting for you.
Yes, he is.
- He said not to say anything. - Thank you, Brad.
We need to cancel the launch.
No.
Senator Schugler, Pitosi,
and the angry young congresswoman are coming.
They need to see a success so we can keep our funding.
My idea of success
would not be a six-billion-dollar piece of hardware
breaking up over Denver.
That is not going to happen.
Look, I don't like to pull rank,
but I order you to postpone the launch.
Okay?
There's too much moisture in the air.
We prefer a less ionized environment.
You are a civilian advisor.
There are always going to be risks.
Conditions are never perfect.
They're supposed to be perfect tomorrow.
The delegation will be back in Washington tomorrow.
- You know, Mark, when I hired you... - I hired you.
...I felt your best quality was your ability to listen to good advice.
If you've lost that,
we may have to look elsewhere.
We. Who is this "we" that you keep talking about?
That is above your pay grade.
Nothing is above my pay grade at this base.
Just postpone the launch, dear.
Nope.
So, no launch today, I hear.
No, launch is still on.
I'll have to tell the base biologist.
- What? - She has to collect
all the endangered lizards within 600 yards of the launch site.
I canceled her because Mallory told me the launch was scrubbed.
No! Nobody gets to scrub anything but me.
Got it, sir.
Hello, Yuri.
Yuri's in there.
- I know. - He told me not to say anything.
Thank you, Brad.
Do you keep breath mints anywhere?
What are you doing in here?
Um, I heard the launch was scrubbed.
That is not accurate, Yuri.
Call me Bobby. It's more reassuring.
Can I see technical specifications for the Epsilon part E-16f fuel pump?
Why would you need to see that?
Well, as observer from ISS partner country,
I just want to... observe it.
Well, that is weird.
Your president desires close cooperation and good relations between US and Russia.
Come on. We're not China here.
I'm sure if the president would like me to show you something,
he will let me know.
Very well.
Expect a text from the secure phone.
How do you know about the secure phone?
I don't know about the secure phone.
- You just said "secure phone." - No, I didn't.
- Yes, you did. You said "secure phone." - I didn't say that.
You just said it.
- No, I did not. - Yes, you did.
Breath mints.
Here they are.
Yo!
- General Naird. - We may have to scrub the Epsilon launch.
- Is Yellowjacket ready to show off? - I doubt it.
For Christ's sake. They're a billion dollars and six months over.
You're right. We should be able to see something.
- Damn right. Let's move. - I'll make a call.
- Are you running? - No. Keep up.
Will Yellowjacket be impressive enough?
First super-pressurized ultra-fast satellite-killer killer missile?
Fucking impressive to me.
Hey. Looks good.
- Yeah. - Sweet.
Very sleek.
Like the yellow fins.
Do we have enough of these to do a test launch later as well?
Yes, sir.
Okay, let's do this.
- Go time. - Roger that, go time.
Well, that's not ready yet.
- How much was that prototype? - Four.
- Million? - Middle schools.
Cost as much as four new middle schools.
Fuck!
- You are running! - Keep up.
So I hear we're going with Yellowjacket this afternoon?
No.
Sorry, Sheila. Still have to grab those lizards.
Hey.
Fuck Tony's in there.
- Good morning, my general. - Good morning.
I have your daily tweet ready for you to review,
and I think you're gonna love it. You're gonna eat it up. Go. Yum-yum.
I...
I don't get it.
Any of it?
Okay.
All right.
- You know there's a new Star Wars out? - Yes.
And Wendy's has a new hamburger that they're serving rare, so...
So what I am saying is that if I had a lightsaber,
I would be able to cook...
this hamburger better.
There you go. It took a while, but you got it.
- How is this relevant to the mission? - That is culturally relevant.
I don't see how being snarky about a fast-food hamburger
is culturally anything.
Do you even understand what is at stake here?
I'm trying to put boots on the moon.
Boots on the moon.
A laser sword is a child's toy.
It's a lightsaber.
Did you hear yourself? Laser sword?
Okay. I think we're done.
- You don't understand because you're old. - Okay.
You get likes by dunking on the Twitter accounts
- of sassy fast-food brands. - Sassy.
I don't even know why I'm explaining clapback theory to you.
Every time I explain anything, it seems to just go ""
How about this for sass?
- You're fired. - What?
Your services will no longer be needed here at Space Force.
You're firing me for writing a perfect tweet?
Is that why you're firing me? Fine, fine, fine. You know what?
Enjoy your 3,000 engineer followers,
because, honestly, you are hopeless.
- Brad. - Yes, sir.
Would you make sure that Tony is detained until after the launch
so he doesn't tweet anything snotty?
- Got it. - Thank you.
- Secure the phone. - Yes, sir.
What's going on? Are you serious? Stop...
Siri, send tweet. Send tweet!
Where are you?
It's good for you. Come on out.
Ooh, gotcha.
A little low, don't you think?
I'm flying safely, sir.
But I can lift up if you like.
At your discretion.
You're... You're rated for F-35s, aren't you, sir?
Yes, I believe I've flown every F series from the Tomcat to the F-117 Nighthawk.
That's dope, sir.
What's your name?
Captain Angela Ali, sir.
ROTC?
OCS. I'm actually a prior.
I transferred as a First Class, sir.
Air Force or Space Force?
Space Force, sir.
You don't like to use your full title?
Sorry, sir.
Spaceman First Class.
Nothing to be ashamed of.
Air Force has airmen. Space Force has spacemen.
Nothing embarrassing or comical about it.
Yes, sir.
The Earth is the only planet in our universethat we know of
that sustains life.
Fifty years ago,
Americans landed on the lunar surface and took that photo.
Hashtag "awesome,"
Well, guess what, kids?
We're going back.
Not for science this time.
Not to collect a bunch of rocks.
But to occupy.
Boots on the moon!
Boots on the moon.
And even though this will be an international mission,
harnessing the best and brightest minds from around the globe,
rest assured these will be US boots.
Boots with US feet in 'em, I mean.
Can't be certain where the boots will actually be made.
Maybe Mexico. Maybe Portugal.
We're getting bids on the boots.
One thing's for certain, though.
Those boots are gonna have our feet in 'em.
Seniors,
if you enlist for a four-year stint as a space cadet,
you can earn up to $35,000 for college.
I don't know what else to call it but a pretty sweet deal.
So what's it gonna be?
You gonna sit there
like an idiot
doing nothing?
Or are you gonna join Space Force
and shoot for the stars?
Thank you.
Thank you. Thanks for coming.
- We're signing up, General. - See you on the moon, gentlemen.
- Hey. - Hey, bug.
I need $100.
Bobby's taking me to the desert for a pop-up concert.
Absolutely not. Hello.
Dad, it's fine. Just, like, give me the money.
No.
Goodbye.
Okay, but you know Bobby. You work with him.
I know him? Bobby who?
Bobby Telatovich.
Yuri?
That's the Bobby that you've been seeing? He's ten years older than you.
Jesus Christ, Erin.
Hello. Have a good day.
He's very sweet.
No, he's not. He is a bad, bad man.
Well, it wasn't my idea to move to this shithole.
I never called this town a shithole. It's a very fine town. Very fine.
Well, I'm going with or without you, and I guess if I have no money,
I'll just be totally reliant on Bobby.
Have to do whatever Bobby says.
Don't play that game with me, Erin. It's not going to work.
I'll talk it over with Mommy.
Thank you, General.
Hello.
How you doing?
Okay.
Yeah.
- You eating all right? - Yeah. Yeah.
They're letting me grow radishes in a window box,
and I can pretty much eat them whenever I want.
- Nice. - Yeah.
And there's this guard, Louise,
she slips me some food sometimes.
Well, you look... You look great.
I miss you. Very much.
Mark, I'm gonna be in here a long time.
So if you need...
companionship...
No. No. No!
No. I am your husband.
Yes, but I'll understand if you...
Absolutely not. I don't want you to bring this up again.
Please.
How's Erin?
Erin wants to go to a concert in the desert this weekend
with this older Russian guy,
who I think is just using her to get information.
Eighteen is that age where you make mistakes
and figure some things out.
Do you think I should let her go?
Well, I just don't know how you can stop her.
Louise says if you can't do anything about a situation,
you might as well lean back and let it happen.
- Louise sounds like a good friend. - Well...
Shoot. Gonna be late.
Set me down next to the BX, please.
I can't do that, sir.
I have to land on the designated pad.
I am telling you to do it, so you can do it.
I have a congressional delegation down there waiting for me.
Um, it's only another 100 yards, sir,
and I'm sure you're gonna do great with the delegation,
even if you are a minute late.
Thin ice, Captain.
Thin ice.
General Naird.
Hey, General? General. A word.
- I'm late for a meeting. - I ran the numbers,
and I can't put the bowling alley under the cyclotron
unless the bowling alley is curved,
- and I don't see how that works. - Get it done.
- I have complete confidence in you, ma'am. - Okay, it's Kelly.
It's Kelly.
- Nice of you to join us. - My apologies.
Had a little chopper trouble.
So, what's good here?
I would recommend the tuna.
Sushi?
How much are taxpayers paying to fly that in?
A sandwich.
I knew that. It was a joke.
And a good one.
But with a grain of truth.
Kick Grabaston at Air Force told us confidentially
that this base was a complete waste of money.
Ladies and gentlemen, I assure you we are on track,
and Epsilon will launch at 1700 hours.
And the Epsilon is the new spacecraft fighter, right?
That is correct.
What kind of armament will it have on board?
Laser cannon? Pulse weapon?
I believe those are from Star Wars.
Yep.
But if I had a laser cannon,
I would probably use it to cook a Wendy's hamburger.
The Epsilon is equipped with a kinetic disabling system.
- Meaning? - It can eject a metal net,
and it is our hope that we can get this net
to tangle with enemy satellites.
Exploding them?
Tangling them.
This better be one fucking flawless launch.
Six billion for a net.
Not a good look.
Sorry.
Excuse me.
God. I have to take this.
Dad, is everything all right?
Yeah, only your mom has run off again.
I can't see her. I'd run after her,
but I think I had a small heart attack this morning.
You know, I'm feeling a little draggy.
Okay, Dad, is the caretaker there? Please put the caretaker on.
He's on his way. He should be here any minute.
So how's the lady situation?
Well, as you know, my wife is in prison.
You know what I had to do yesterday?
I had to crawl under the house to check a leak.
No, Dad. Dad, don't do...
We have people to crawl under the house, Dad.
I crawled under. I didn't tell anybody, and they didn't know I was under there.
My God. My God.
Please, Dad, don't, don't... Don't crawl under the house!
So how's things? How's your... How's your wife?
She's fine.
Yeah, you two are gonna make a great couple.
- Is the caretaker there, Dad? - Yeah.
- What are you doing? - Put the caretaker on.
- Have to get in the house. - What?
- Put the caretaker on. - Get in the house.
He wants to talk to you.
God. I don't know what to do.
Your father should be in the hospital.
Your mama is somewhere in the streets in her nightgown.
Can you come home and help me?
I wish I could, Jean Baptiste, but I'm having kind of a day of it myself.
And, please, don't let my dad go under the house again.
I try. You know he do whatever he want.
- No, no, no, no! - Ask him...
You have to keep eyes on him. Do you understand?
- Yes, Mr. Naird. - Ask him how his wife is.
- How is your wife? - God.
All right, hold on a second, Jean Baptiste.
Brad, I'm going to need you to task the satellite
- over Nutley, New Jersey, again. - Yes, I'm on it.
She's in the Rite-Aid parking lot.
- Text me when she's in the car. - Okay. Thank you, Mr. Naird.
He is blowing it just like you thought.
Yeah, it is a complete shit show.
My dry cleaner.
Yeah, yeah, they, they lost my dress whites.
I canceled the launch.
Mallory's waiting for you.
- He said not to say anything. - Thank you, Brad.
- I didn't say anything. - Well done, Bradley.
Thank you, sir.
It's a six-billion-dollar decision.
We can't risk it.
It's a lot for a scientist,
but in the military, we have to risk lives.
At 50 grand a year,
it would take 120,000 years to earn $6 billion.
That is the entire lifetime earnings of 3,000 people.
Now, how many times can a country waste the entire lifetime earnings
of thousands of its citizens without something really bad happening?
Are you still upset about the button covers?
A thousand dollars for a plastic button cover?
That's insane!
So you think we'll be ready by Novem...
Three.
- Two. - Shit.
One.
Sorry.
How many times do I need to apologize?
Just come out to the launch site and we'll show you.
The proper humidity for launch is 40 percent.
Today it is at 54 percent.
This can affect oxygenation and fuel burn.
The amount of fuel measured is very precise.
If fuel is insufficient,
the rocket returns to Earth without reaching orbit.
Where you from, Chan?
- Ohio. - Originally?
What does that have to do with any... Are...
Are you suggesting Chan is a Chinese spy?
So we have heard from Mr. Chan.
- Doctor. - Dr. Chan.
I'd like to hear another opinion.
Perhaps somebody willing to dissent from the party line.
Who'd like to give me a good reason why we should launch today?
Anyone?
So I can weigh the pros and cons?
Don't you have any mavericks on your team, Mallory?
- I say launch. - Great.
And you are Dr....
Just call me Eddie.
- Shit. - Ain't a doctor.
I go to a bunch of 'em, though.
Wonderful. So those in favor of postponement
are me and Dr. Chan, Dr. Swedberg,
Dr. Bohr, Dr. Revredesh,
Dr. Yamato, Dr. Lowenstein,
Dr. Washington, and Dr. Zisk.
In favor of launch are you and Eddie.
Any last name, Eddie?
None that I care to mention.
Okay.
Chan, what's behind your back?
It's an umbrella, sir.
Did you think it was a sword cane? Samurai sword?
Would you like to examine it, sir?
No, we are done here.
So the launch is scrubbed?
I can't hear you over the rotors.
Well, this is absurd.
So is this actually happening or not?
There's no point if it's not happening...
Excuse me, congresspeople.
Brad...
no interruptions for five minutes.
They're gone.
Congresspeople! Congresspeople!
The launch is on.
- What? - See you at 1700.
But you...
Sheila? Yeah.
Okay. Okay, okay. Okay. Okay.
Don't, don't... Please don't skitter away.
Please, this is for your own safety.
Come on. I'm trying to save you! Damn it, come back here.
Our country, the oldest democracy in the world,
put a man on the moon.
It was perhaps our greatest moment up until that point.
Alongside the Constitution, the Bill of Rights,
and, of course, the Miracle on Ice.
Today we launch Epsilon 6,
a collaborative effort between the scientists of the United States,
Japan, Europe, Turkey, Israel, Australia,
and our old enemy, Russia.
And this will bring us one step closer to returning to the moon,
and, from there, to Mars.
There will be setbacks along the way.
There are risks to every great endeavor.
But greatness was never won without suffering.
And sacrifice.
I am so, so damn proud of all of you.
My God. He's really on the edge.
So...
without further ado,
with this button,
I so launch...
Epsilon 6.
- Liked the Miracle on Ice reference. - Thank you, Brad.
Aw. I should be tweeting this.
Where'd it go?
What's going on? Did it blow up?
Not yet.
Epsilon 6 is in orbit.
Yeah, well, he'll probably have me transferred tomorrow
once he has a moment to think about it.
But what was I supposed to do?
You put a helicopter down in the wrong spot,
and someone could get their head removed.
Hang on a second, Mom.
"Sorry I snapped at you. Glad you're on our team."
You know, there's one thing that I don't get.
You were right about the launch,
yet you don't know anything about science.
Guess I know a little about people.
When we we're out at the launch site, there were two tiny clouds in the sky.
Chan had an umbrella.
People like that can't handle any risk at all.
There's no way we are getting back to the moon
with that kind of thinking.
That's a good observation. Well reasoned.
Cheers.
Thank you, Doctor.
You know what?
Epsilon should be passing right about now.
Do you see it?
Yeah, there's a spark.
Beautiful. Wow.
I got it.
Wait, is that a second spark?
Motherfucker!