- [Jujubee] Ladies, stealth check time!
- [Alaska] Don't I have, like, some, like, perception shit?
♪ Boss ass bitch ♪
- [Bob and Monét] Check your perception
before you come for me!
- Everyone think 20. - 20!
♪ Boss ass bitch ♪
- [Bob] I have anxiety!
- [Jujubee] See? I knew it was that bitch.
Can I go invisible right now?
- [Bob] Twlya, you are a loose cannon.
♪ Boss ass bitch ♪
- [Monét] Kill her! Kill her now!
- I knew it. - Oh fuck!
- [Monét] You assaulted a man with a no-knock warrant.
- [Bob] Troyánn is saucy.
♪ Boss ass bitch ♪
- [Brennan] Ladies.
Wish I was alive!
I think we should get naked and see what happens.
Servants of the fey realm!
There is legend of a witch.
- [Jujubee] Hey, that was really emotional and beautiful.
♪ Boss ass ♪
Bitch.
- Hello, one and all.
Welcome back to another thrilling episode
of Dimension 20: Dungeons and Drag Queens.
I'm your humble Dungeon Master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me, as always, are our questing queens.
Say hi, questing queens. - Hi, questing queens.
- Last we left off...
It's beautiful.
Well, I shouldn't wonder
that we're all exclaiming and making noise,
because we are in the depths of the Underworld right now.
Last we left off, our four heroes,
each for reasons of their own, some secret and some shared,
had traveled down the Gallows Road
after having met before the adventure even began
in the city of Darktide where you all came together
and realized that it was safer
to travel to the Underworld together than separately.
You went to the village of Greeley,
where you began to see some strange conspirings.
Villains were approaching
the entrance to the Underworld as well.
Rumors of a merfolk,
possibly your cousin, Keena of Everdeep.
We had the smell of cedar on the breeze,
a strange smell, not smelled since the massacre
of the Foehammer family so long ago.
Rumors of a witch hunter that had driven Gertrude
from her lakeside home.
And in a burst of mist,
after you defeated a disguised undead,
the face of Zaria Hex the Blood Queen
and architect of the downfall
of Titania and the fairy realms.
Many eyes gazed on the entrance to the Underworld,
and many feet tramped their way to that fabled realm.
However, you swiftly ascended the mountainside,
got to Gargrim the Guardian to the Gate of the Underworld,
and descended into the lands beyond.
You journeyed to the River of Sorrow.
We summoned a dead whale.
We quickly dispatched a small army of the undead
that sought to make their way
to the lands of the living once more.
- We also remembered that we could've
just walked across the- - We don't talk about that.
- I turned into a puddle.
- Turned into a puddle. - I did.
- That happened as well.
We also met your Uncle Kerwyn. - Yeah.
- The spirit of the long lost Duke Kerwyn Foehammer
of the Foehammer family.
Kerwyn suggested, because you were one soul short,
as Troyánn must deliver a certain amount of souls
for what she believed was the cause of keeping Everdeep safe
from dark forces at work within the deep sea.
- I had really thought. - You really thought,
and that is what you have been told
by none other than your mother the Queen Inira of Everdeep.
- Inira.
- You- - I don't know her.
- Inira, I just met her.
- You journeyed to the Longshadow Bazaar
outside of the Archive of Forgotten Things.
- Oh god, not the bazaar.
- The bazaar, to meet Nyruth the jackal-headed demon.
- It got bizarre, too.
- Successfully managed to steal a soul
for a short time before some towering Genari demon
snatched it once again out of your hand.
And easy come, easy go, you ended up showing up
a little bit short on your quota
to the inn of the Empty Glass, where D'hamia,
your old vampire friend, agreed to sell you
sort of a temporary soul that can fool
some of the servants of the Goddess of Death,
but probably not the goddess herself.
Princess kindly offered up some of her own blood,
you got your soul, Gertrude made a wonderful tea
that sort of revivified everybody,
and you talked to Shalila the sort of half-masked servant
of Thanara, Goddess of Death and the Underworld.
Shalila agreed to take the soul,
but not before spilling the beans
that it seemed that Inira of Everdeep
wasn't protecting her people.
She was selling souls to live forever,
and some quick spellcasting from Gertrude
saw that your father had been in that role before you
and paid a heavy price to free the souls
that he had brought to the Goddess of the Underworld.
The four of you, your Uncle Kerwyn,
now face an endless waste,
crimson storm clouds and red lightning.
In the far off distance, the Tower of Tombs,
the realm and lair of the goddess Thanara herself.
Shalila and her entourage marched out into the wasteland,
and for your plan to work,
you need to get there before they do,
'cause that soul there is not a worthy one
that is the seventh soul in her amulet.
What could await you in the Tower of Tombs?
Miracles?
The ability for things lost,
family and realms to come back once more?
Answers about a long-lost father
and secrets kept within a family?
Or even answers
concerning the gift of magic and immortality itself?
All of this awaits as you delve finally
to the very heart of the Underworld.
We return. That was a big ol' recap.
- I know. It was amazing. - Yeah. You nailed it.
- It was great. - Previously on...
- Dimension 20!
- So, all of you look out and see
these sort of crimson storm clouds.
You can see Shalila and her four guardians
kind of moving towards a lonesome road
that moves through the wasteland.
The question I put before you now is,
do you try to follow the same road Shalila is,
which is, of course, she's probably taking
the fastest road to the Tower of Tombs,
but she's not particularly in a hurry.
So the question remains,
how you want to try and beat her to the tower.
- Well, we have lied. We've lied a lot, my goodness.
We did lie to her and say that we were going back upstairs,
so she's probably not expecting us.
She doesn't seem angry or anything.
She seems pretty chill.
She didn't seem suspicious of anything.
But maybe we should just be walking right behind her.
- Who is Shalila?
- She's the one who told us about my dad.
- You remember when we said four, and you said 100?
We were talking to her. - Okay.
Okay, okay. Yeah, now I get it.
- She is expecting an invitation
to board game night momentarily.
- At our palatial mansion where we can seat 400 people.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Intimate.
- It's fine.
- How do we get there faster than her?
I mean, can we fly?
- It seems like she's not moving fast.
We can go another route. Hoof it.
- Do we ever split up? Is that a thing?
- I don't know. - [Jujubee] Is that dumb?
- I don't think we should split up.
- This is not a scary movie. We're not doing that.
- Yeah, that sounds like-
- Yeah, we're staying together, babes.
- I mean, you would be the one that survives until the end.
- Which is why she's like, it's in you three's best interest
to stay together. - She's not wrong.
She's not wrong. - She's not wrong.
- Princess has been coming through Hercules's shit, okay?
Breaking backs, punching. Princess is-
- And I think Twyla's escaped death all the time.
- And we are confused as to how.
- She probably can't die.
- You're immortal too? - Probably!
- You don't know?
- She's assuming at this point.
- Twyla doesn't know a thing, so.
- She's definitely lucky. I'll say that.
- Yeah.
- What if we beat up Shanida and we take-
- Shalila. - Who is Shanida?
- Oh, Shalila. - That's her landlord.
She wants us to go settle a debt for her.
What if we leave here, beat up Shanida,
and then come back here and play Dungeons and Dragons?
- What if we beat up Shalila and take her metal guys
and use her, use them? - Okay, so-
- How do we do that? - Or befriend her.
- Why do we want to fight Shalila?
Shalila has been, she helped us. She told us, though.
- I know, she was kind of nice.
I kind of like her. - But she told us stuff
because she's kind of an idiot.
- I don't want to beat the shit out of Shanida. - [Jujubee] Don't you think?
- You're the one who brought it up. - Do you think it slipped?
- I know. I'm floating ideas here, okay?
- We're spitballing. - We're spitballing.
- I think we can, like, I'm an assassin.
I'm very good at tracking people.
- Are you a lip sync assassin?
- I'm a lipstick assassin.
I am really good at tracking people.
I think we can just follow behind Shalila.
Because if we get there
before her, what are we going to do? - Okay.
- Wait for her.
- No, there's that other soul.
What was it? The other soul.
- Another worthy soul, because you know that Keena,
you feel that Keena stole your kill, essentially, right?
- Yes.
- We lost, that worthy soul we had was the one
that got taken back from the guards, never mind.
- Yeah, so you know that there's another soul in town
that's worthy, but that demon has it, and your cousin Keena,
you believe, stole the soul that you were supposed to get.
As we know, famed producer Mark Ronson. Absolutely.
- Part of me feels like, okay, this is crazy,
but the jackal guy, if this was a movie,
he's such a great character.
I would love to revisit him. - I would, too.
- I kind of want to go back and, like-
- So, hey.
Hi. - Yeah, kind of go over
and be like, so I know how this looks.
- I'm scared, but I like it.
- I mean, I'm not mad at going back to him.
- But you have to talk to him.
- I think the answer is, this time we just gotta be real.
We gotta just give this man what he wants.
We cannot trick him again.
We gotta just give him what he wants.
- What if he asks if we're lying?
- He's going to want memories. He's going to want souls.
- We'll say we lied. We'll say we lied.
We found out some new stuff. My friend here is an assassin.
She's been doing this job. Also are you-
- I'mma stand like this the whole time.
- So we're going to be like, so we found a lot of stuff.
We acted out of fear.
We were afraid that her entire community, village,
would be destroyed if we didn't get this one soul.
Now we know that's not the truth.
- It's more like a city.
We have over 2 million people. We're not a village.
- It's a metropolis. - [Jujubee] Tell me if this is crazy.
- [Bob] I apologize. - Not a village.
- I mean, it's no Atlantis, but go ahead.
- Tell me if this is crazy. So, one of my-
- It's kind of like the suburbs of Atlantis.
- So you know how one of my spells is to disguise, right?
And it says use magic to change your appearance.
Is there a world where Twyla changes her appearance
to look like the person, like Thanara, and to grab-
- Oh no, okay, we can't go so high. - Why would Thanara be in town?
They'd be like, what are you doing here?
- But Miss Thing is going to Thanara
to give her the souls, right?
- Shalila. - Be Shalila.
- My thing is, what if we don't trick him?
What if we just go in and we just give him something?
We all have-
- Oh, I'm trying to trick Shalila.
- Right.
- Because Shalila's bringing the souls back to Thanara.
- Oh!
- If she thinks that I'm Thanara,
then she's like, here you go, Thanara.
I'll be like, thank you, sis.
- But what if she be like, why are you...
Thanara's massive, isn't she? She's huge.
- Like 18 feet tall. - She's 18 feet tall.
- She can disguise.
- Go to Thanara dressed as Shanida.
- I can change myself into an airplane if I want to.
- That is true. - I'm Twyla!
- No, but we don't have anything to give to Thanara,
so I think to your point, you disguise yourself as Thanara.
- Right, and then she gives it to me.
- And Shalila gives it to you.
- But what are we getting from Shalila?
Shalila doesn't have the worthy soul either!
- [Jujubee] She doesn't? - Yeah, no.
We don't need that.
- 'Cause Shalila doesn't have the worthy soul.
Shalila has a bag full of souls and one unworthy one.
- Time out.
If we know, why do I care to give her
the worthy souls now, knowing what this is about now?
- Knowing what this is about now,
you may well have decided that you don't want
to hand those souls over, but the question is,
given all the stuff that you do want from Thanara,
you don't know how reasonable this goddess is,
so I think there are questions for you
about what your reception...
It's very, what's the wizard going to think
when we get to the Emerald City, right?
What's Thanara going to think of us
when we actually get to the Tower of Tombs?
So it's true that you no longer care to uphold
the deal your mother struck, but you do know
that the goddess of the Underworld is expecting seven souls.
You could reasonably decide,
I'm not interested in pursuing that deal,
or you could reasonably decide it might be worth it anyway.
- It also seems that if she doesn't get the seven souls,
she probably won't be cool about it.
- And also I think that I have never met Thanara,
so I think what we're trying to do is, okay, okay, okay.
Disguised as Thanara, Shalila gives it to us, and then you-
- I know what she looks like, I can describe her,
because I saw her in the memory, so I can describe her.
- Okay, yeah, describe it, and then Shalila,
so that way we all have a chance to talk to Thanara
and be like, here are the things you want.
We're all here. Can you answer our four wishes, basically?
- Well, okay, so I want to reassess
what we're all doing here,
because I have not been completely honest
with all of you about why I'm in the Underworld.
- Is this out loud or is this through the brain? - This is to you.
- I'm talking to you all out loud.
- Okay, great.
- Yeah, you're all in a safe place.
You're towards the edge of Hollowgrave in a safe place.
- You know, there is a curse on me where I can't die,
but it's not immortality.
It's not like, girl, it's not invincibility.
It's just immortality, so it's kind of a curse, right?
So when I came down here, I was hoping
to just come down here, not leave, have my soul taken.
Now I want to live my life.
I've just got a new perspective, so I want to live my life.
I want to have a natural death
like everyone else is granted.
It doesn't have to be here and now anymore.
So my perspective has changed as to why I'm down here,
so I do want to go down to Thanara.
I do not know if this woman is reasonable at all,
but I do want to go and just kind of plead my case.
She seems to be able to bargain. I watched her bargain.
She offered your father a chance to give his soul.
She didn't take it. He gave it.
- Yeah.
- So she's not beyond reason, you know what I mean?
I don't know if you're going to atone
in the way that your father atoned,
because you've been doing this for a while.
I don't know, how do you feel about your journey here now?
- You know, I think that Thanara,
I think she can grant me grace
knowing why I have been doing this.
Like you said, she seems reasonable,
and I think talking to her and meeting her face to face,
she will be able to remedy a lot of-
- She acts quick.
Once your dad was like, I'll give my soul,
she didn't even hear his next words.
Boom. Take it, eat it, done.
He's just obliterated. It was kind of bananas.
- And Thanara probably, with all her soul power,
she has the power to restore both your family and your-
- She does. I think that's why Twyla's going down there.
Because the only being
that could restore the dead to life is her.
- But before you bring the dead back to life,
I just want to say, life is a gift,
but it's not everything, you know what I mean?
So if you restore them back, to what end?
Do they have unfinished business? Maybe they're at peace.
- Maybe there's some shops that need people to work.
- They were taken away before their time.
- Yeah. - Is there any chance
that you're bringing them back without consult-
Because we should ask your uncle.
Does he want to be brought back?
- We'll do a show of hands from the souls.
- Or a show of bones.
- Kerwyn looks and says, well, if you remember,
when you met me, I was desperately trying
to swim across the River of Sorrow.
- Yeah. - Okay, seems pretty common.
Yeah, they're all trying to- - They all want to swim out.
- Yeah, it's pretty common. Yeah, touché.
- You see Kerwyn looks and says, listen, is there some world
where there would be rest or peace after life?
I would more than happily consider it.
I don't know if you've taken a look around.
You see this howling purple wasteland. - It's not great, yeah.
- Right. - He's like, I would describe
the conditions of the afterlife as suboptimal.
- Yeah, it's no Everdeep,
which is apparently the New York City of the ocean.
- Yes, honey. - [Alaska] Yes.
Greatest city in the Underworld.
- Okay, so are we all on one accord?
Twyla, can you describe to Twyla so she can transform,
or do we want to go see Thanos?
- Nyruth. - Nyruth.
- Okay, oddly enough,
Nyruth scares me a little more than Thanara.
- Who is that?
- The jackal-headed guy.
- Jackal face. - Okay. I'm so sorry.
Listen, I know there are people watching right now,
and they're like, what are these names?
Jujubee's there.
- Well, the audience has the benefit,
they're going to see big art
come up onscreen every time. - [Jujubee] Oh, great!
- So we don't have the benefit of that, but-
- Okay!
- So how do we get there, is the question.
Should we just trail behind?
- Yeah, Monét said we can, like-
- Trail behind.
- Conceal ourselves with a spell and trail behind her.
- Oh no, we don't have to trail behind,
because we're walking right up to her
and saying, hey, it's me, Thanara.
I was going out for-
- [Monét] We need to cut her off, though.
- I was stepping out. - We need to cut her off
so she thinks-
- We need to get to the castle before her. - [Bob] Got it.
- Do we have a reason why we're not on the throne?
- Yeah, that's a little fishy. - What is she doing here?
If Joe Biden knocked on your door,
wouldn't you be like, huh?
- If it was Joe Biden, no. I'd be like, wrong door, honey.
- What are you doing here?
I kind of expected you in the Oval Office, not-
- He's like, oh, just delivering some classified documents.
- It seems-
- Y'all don't really think Thanara
would leave the throne just to go for a walk?
- I don't know her. - No.
- Maybe she's been locked up for seven days,
she's getting over a cold,
and she's getting 30 minutes a day to walk around.
- There's a small chance we could ask, okay,
we could ask the jackal-headed guy for help.
He's very powerful. - What's his name?
- Nyruth.
- I don't know if Nyruth travels well. He's old.
- [Jujubee] He was pretty slow. - Why would we bring him with us?
- Because he's powerful.
He probably knows, he seems to barter with...
He's very good at bargaining.
He might say no. He has a business to run.
- So y'all want to go to-
- We could ask him if could give us something.
- I think we're all going to die.
- Maybe he has something that can help us.
We're going to appeal to his sensibilities,
and we're going to apologize, we're going to atone.
Our options are pretend to be Thanara or go back to Nyruth.
Which one seems, they're both very-
- They're crazy.
- They're both crazy. They're both very dangerous.
We could definitely take Shalila.
I don't know that we can convince her.
I don't know that we can convince her
that, oh yeah, I'm just out for a walk.
- Yeah, that does seem a little hard to do.
- Well, Twyla could start a rumor.
- About what?
- I don't know, get people to fight.
Then we could go take some souls.
- There are only souls up there, though.
- Oh, we're still downstairs.
- You see Kerwyn looks and says,
it's true that all of the plans that you're talking about
seem very dangerous and reckless,
but it's possible that down here,
there are no plans that won't involve some level of risk.
- Yeah, we gotta risk it. Okay, I think-
- Let's have a vote. - My final thought is this.
We've dabbled in a lot of dishonesty, and it might be time
to get honest and go talk to this jackal-headed guy.
- [Jujubee] Okay. - And then run to-
- We're wasting time. He's all the way on the other side.
We are losing time.
- Again, Shalila's not in a rush. She's leisurely pacing.
- If you look over,
you can see that the bazaar is not far from here.
If the goal is to be honest, then-
- All right, I vote yes, bazaar.
- Let's go talk to jackal face.
- I'm going to vote against myself. I vote bazaar too.
- Okay, we're going to go talk to-
- I think that's a good idea. - [Monét] Okay.
- Incredible, so you go to the Longshadow Bazaar.
You see, there it is,
the small shop with the golden embossment
and the glass windowpane in the door, Nyruth's Curios.
Do you all walk in?
- She goes first.
- Okay, so I slowly open the door.
- [Monét] Hey, hey! - [Brennan] So you see,
sitting on a tall stool- - [Monét] How y'all doing?
- With one of those big crane arm magnifying glasses,
looking at a tiny little clock that he's fixing,
this jackal-headed dude looks up.
Welcome to Nyruth's...
Unreal! - Gertrude goes,
Before you do anything,
I'm going to level with you.
This time, I am being fully honest.
And she decides to,
can I let him hear my thoughts?
Can I do honesty on myself?
- Do you want to cast Detect Thoughts
to broadcast your thoughts to him?
- Yes, so he knows I'm not lying. - That's crazy.
- Nice idea. - [Brennan] Incredible.
- So he knows I'm not lying.
I cast Detect on myself
and give it so he can hear what I'm thinking. - Smart.
so he knows I'm not lying. - Smart.
- And I go, now listen.
You know, all my cards are on the table,
so can I just let my friends come in here?
- Okay, so this is incredible.
I'm going to say with this degree of openness,
I'm going to allow you to roll a persuasion check,
and you can roll it with advantage,
because there is no way for him
to not know that you're being honest.
So we're going to roll persuasion with advantage.
I'll say if you are able to get a 15,
he will hear you out.
If you are able to get a 25,
that will be like he's blown away.
- My persuasion's an eight,
so let's go. - [Brennan] An eight.
- That's a 13.
- 13 plus 8 is 21. - 21.
- Okay, roll again. If you hit a 17 or higher...
So that's already a success.
Let's see what your second roll is.
- 20! - Nat 20!
(Cast cheers and claps)
- [Brennan] Oh my god! - Yes, baby! Yes!
- Your first nat 20 of the game.
- My first nat 20! - What a roll to do it on.
- Oh my gosh, okay.
- This is going to be good for us. This is going to be good.
- Oh my god! So, this unbelievable bit of magic.
This is also, I feel like, for Gertrude,
who's spent her entire life as a hermit
concealed, hidden away, not trusting the world,
you completely open your mind.
- Vulnerable. - [Brennan] Vulnerable.
- Aw, Gerty!
- I'm getting vulnerable. I'm getting vulnerable!
- To a demon! - Yes.
- You see he looks up.
All of you that are in the doorway as well
look up and just see a man who, let's be clear,
you robbed three hours ago
(cast laughs)
look up and go... (snarls) (magic humming)
- And I go, okay, listen. I know.
I know how this looks, but I'm going to cast a spell
on myself so that you know that I'm telling the truth.
You can hear my thoughts.
Can I let my friends come in so we can atone?
- By all means, see them enter.
- So Gerty just kind of does her antlers like this,
her horns, to get them to come in,
and she goes, first of all, we really want to apologize.
We came down here and we were desperate.
This is my friend Troyánn.
Do you know Everdeep?
- Everdeep, incredible seafood. Unbelievable.
- [Bob] Yes. Really, really, really, really good.
Really good. You eat seafood too, don't you?
- I do. - I had some scallops there
that were the best I've ever had.
- [Bob] Amazing. - Truly just like air,
cutting through it with a knife.
- Yeah, it's really tender.
The thing is, we really thought that her entire city
was going to be taken down by Thanara
if we did not get this worthy soul from you,
so we lied, we cheated, we stole.
We did all steal from you.
And it was my idea.
It was my idea, and I regret it very, very much,
and I'm really just here to appeal to your sensibility
to see if there's any way we can get that soul.
I don't want to trade her playing cards.
I'm willing to trade something that I have
to atone for what I've done.
I'm willing to do what it takes to get that soul from you,
and any help you can offer us.
- Is that all we need, is a soul?
Don't we want something else?
- And anything you can...
So we're going to Thanara to basically,
we're going to meet the wizard, you know what I mean?
She has some atoning to do.
- Not atoning, I want to find out what really happened
with my father, and so we need to cut off Shalila
who has the unworthy soul so we can have a full seven set.
- So, the original soul that you were interested in,
which, after killing several of the demon enforcers
in town, I have recovered.
- You killed them all. Got it.
- But the soul is one matter, and you need
a means of outpacing Shalila, who has already left.
- Yes. - [Bob] Yes.
- It is quite a special feat of witchcraft
to so bravely allow a demon of the Underworld
to see what most keep hidden.
You see Nyruth, on that nat 20-
- I rolled a nat 20. Keep that in mind.
- Steps down, holds out a hand for your hand,
and gets down on one knee.
Few and far between are those sorceresses
who wield the gifts of both worlds,
Kelvorda and this realm of the Underworld.
I will offer a bargain.
It will be my first offer and also my last.
You have paid me a grave insult earlier today
and paid me a great honor now,
so one and one offer only shall I make,
and it is yours to decline or accept.
Should you decline, you will always be welcome in my shop,
but we will make no bargain, do you understand?
- Just come and look. We can't get anything, got it.
- Browse, yeah. We have events here sometimes, signings.
- That's nice. - Meet and greets.
- Open mic night.
- Open mic night. Yeah, absolutely.
I actually do, if you know anyone
that's looking for a standup, I'm working on an act myself.
Sort of observational humor about the Underworld.
- I mean, there's some stuff to observe here.
- Yeah, I tried a more storytelling style
but, you know, I feel like audiences didn't connect.
They sort of want the one-liners.
(Jujubee snorts)
The point being, you see he says,
Nyruth looks at all of you, again,
incredibly touched by this act of magical vulnerability.
I have beheld in Gertrude's memories
one object that you do carry
that you were right in assuming is a worthy bargain.
The soul of famed musical producer Oliver Leiber,
again, who composed Opposites Attract by Paula Abdul, yes.
- Great, great song. - Incredible song.
I actually have a tattoo of MC Skat Kat on my body.
- Obsessed.
- Do you want to know where it is?
- Where? - I'm going to guess.
- Guess. - Your big toe.
- Oh. Pretty close.
- Your little toe. - Bingo.
You see he goes,
I believe you hold a corrupted Wraith Clasp.
A fair bargain,
and you may make that by its own if you wish.
I will trade you the soul for the clasp.
He takes the soul right out and offers it to you.
Splendid, you see he exchanges them and goes,
and for a means to outpace Shalila of the Half Mask
across the dangerous sands of the Underworld,
I have in my possession
an object of some magical significance.
You see he holds a sort of little furry hand aloft,
and you see in the corner,
there are a number of tall carpets
that have been rolled up into rolls
and are sort of in a bin together.
He snaps a hand, and one carpet, and it is massive,
it's not like a throw.
Yeah, it's not a small one. This thing is-
- Area rug.
- Yes, it's an area rug. It's a full-
- 15 by 16.
- 15 by 16, exactly.
You could set a table and have a dinner on this thing.
You see it unravels, and it fills the room with dust
that smells like sort of rich spices
and something sort of floral but ancient, too.
An herbal sort of smell fills the room
as you see incredible geometric patterns
sort of fractal-ing out from this center point
of a sort of deep eye in the center of the carpet.
He says, this should be able to bear you aloft
over the sands quite quickly,
and I would be willing to part with it,
for there is something else you have
of deep magical significance,
knowing already how deeply you value your memories.
- Playing cards. Oh.
- Again, I've got to be clear,
not going to give anything magic for a deck of cards.
I hold myself to something of a higher standard.
- They're rare cards. - The important thing is this.
There is something you possess, and it is something
that I think you deeply want to be rid of.
But it is quite valuable to me.
You have a curse on you.
- Oh. - Oh my gosh, I do.
- He goes through a drawer, and you see he takes
an empty vial of a deep green bottle glass
that you see has a sigil on the bottom of it.
There's a rune inscribed.
Now, that curse was not put on you by me,
and I do not have the strength to remove it.
But if removed, should you carry this bottle on your person,
if that curse were to be lifted,
the bottle would suck it up
and return once more to me.
The carpet is yours if you agree to carry this bottle.
- And we can keep the carpet?
- The carpet is yours forever.
- Out of good faith,
he's going to trust that you're going to do this.
- I don't even want this thing!
- You see he looks and says,
you have shown incredible courage
in revealing your inner heart to me.
Most would not do such a thing to a demon,
and though I am not the most benevolent actor,
I am an honest businessman.
So, the carpet is yours if you simply agree
to carry the bottle on your person always.
If you never manage to have your curse lifted,
then you have the minor inconvenience
of needing to always travel with a small green bottle.
But if the curse is lifted,
it enters the vial there and returns to me,
and the curse becomes mine to do with as I wish.
- Oh.
- So, Gertrude looks around.
Everyone's looking at Gertrude, even the carpet.
- Carpet's got a big eye on it. You see the eye blinks.
- (under breath) Is this thing alive?
- So Gertrude slowly takes off her backpack,
and she lifts it open, and she just holds it out
to the demon to place the vial in and goes,
my word is my bond.
- Pleasure doing business. Boop!
And pops the vial in, and you see the carpet
slinks towards the door and awaits outside.
- Work! Magic carpet ride!
- You're amazing, thank you so much. We gotta run.
- Pleasure doing business, always feel welcome
at Nyruth's Curios. - Bye!
- Please don't rob me again!
- I promise. We go out.
We're outside. We're freaking out, this is amazing.
That really worked out for us.
We've got to be honest!
- Yeah, you know, we should've been honest
from the beginning, we should've.
- But...
- But what?
- Do we trust the demon?
- Listen, I don't know what he's going to do with this.
He might take the curse and just put it right back on me
and be like, ha ha ha.
- You know that it's just your curse.
It's nothing else that goes in there.
- Which is your curse of immortality, right?
- [Bob] Yes.
- And you don't want it anyway,
so you should just open the bottle!
Oh no, it has to be lifted by someone.
- I can't remove it myself.
- But who's going to do that? - Thanara.
- How do we- - I don't know, I don't know.
All we know is we're going to try to get her to lift it.
She'll think she's doing something fierce,
maybe, we don't know what she's planning.
Once she lifts it,
it's going to just zap back to the bazaar.
- Yeah. - And she'll be pissed off.
- What he does with it is his business.
She might be mad. - She going to be mad.
- So I think now that we have the magic carpet,
we know we can beat Shalila there.
I think we should get on the carpet.
Okay, what's our plan?
We need to get the other souls from Shalila, though.
- Yeah, are we going to to Thanara or Shalila?
- No, you're not delivering souls anymore.
You are here to figure out what's going on.
- But we do have the- - We just got the extra souls.
- [Jujubee] But I do think we need-
- We might need to bargain with her.
- We need to bring the souls,
because we need Thanara to help us.
- Yeah, so now we need to get to Shalila
and fight her and these four guards
and get that bag of souls.
- There's five of them, four of us. We are rested.
- Why you got to look at me like that?
- We are all rested. - Well rested.
- In hindsight, we should've asked Nyruth
to give us some type of advantage.
- I think the advantage was speed.
I think he gave us what he had gave.
- So Kerwyn looks over and says-
- I forgot you're here, Kerwyn. Sorry.
- Kerwyn's very quiet.
- Very quiet. - I try to let you all do your thing, you know.
- Girls' night.
- Yeah, I'm along for the ride.
I'm just honestly happy to be here.
You see he goes, depending on what you wish to do,
we could either beat Shalila to the Tower of Tombs
or intercept her on the road there, and if you wanted to,
try to swap the soul out, the worthy one you have.
You could do that as well. It's up to you.
You have the advantage, either way.
- I think we- - Be like, Shalila,
I gave you the wrong one!
Can I see that bag again?
- Yeah. - I put my car keys in there.
- The honest thing is that Shalila
is not going to give this bag of souls, okay?
That is her job.
We're going to have to fight Shalila and her friends.
- What do we have? What do we have to fight?
I have a Fireball, I have a Counterspell,
I have a Scorching Ray, I have the Thunderwave
that can hit a lot of people at once.
- Here's the thing, if we fight Shalila, though,
and we have to get physical when we get to Thanara
for whatever reason, we will be not rested.
We will not be well.
- We gotta sneak attack.
- But if we fight them, we will be tired.
- That is true. - We'll have no place to rest.
- What if we befriend her
and say, you know, join us?
- Is she friendly like that? You know her better than we do.
- It would be you to communicate with her, really.
- She was pretty nice with us before. She was not mean.
- So are we going to reveal to her that we...
Okay, too much honesty.
- Kerwyn says, I know you're going to hate me
for saying this, but I am going to say it.
There is a way you could butter her up,
and you just really have to invite her
to that board game night.
- Yeah.
- You can invite her to the board game night.
- And tell her that we may have overestimated.
Maybe not 400, but we can do at least one.
- We'll switch to Scrabble.
- No, we can just tell her that we already have 395 people.
- She's going to get there. If we switch to Scrabble-
- Yeah, change of plans.
- Yeah, I don't think she's really set on the game.
I think she just wants the companionship.
- To be included, okay.
- I think she wants the camaraderie.
- What if she's like, well I don't know how to spell.
I never went to school. - We have a lot of games.
- Okay, great. - [Monét] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Connect Four. Connect Four is good. - You know what, Uno is good.
- And you have your playing cards.
You have playing cards. - Playing cards!
- Oh my god! Well, didn't I give one up?
- Nope, you didn't give anything up.
- Oh, thank the lord!
- We tried to rob him and almost died.
- Yeah, okay, so let's get on the carpet.
Let's get to Shalila.
- So we're going to be friendly to her?
We're not going to, like-
- We can't afford to fight her.
- Why don't we stop by and be like, girl, you need a ride?
- Now, if she gets pissed off and attacks us,
then we have fight, but I say let's not try to-
- But then she'll get the first hit.
We don't want to sneak attack?
- She has four armor suit guys.
- They're strong. - She's not a bad person.
- I think the smartest thing is for Troyánn
to start a conversation with her,
because there's a relationship.
There's already a developed thing.
- Open and honest communication.
- I think so.
- I just want to quickly make sure
I have taken off my Detect spell so that no one around me-
- Yes, you're all good.
- Also, I'm going to go back to 49,
because I am rested and healed.
- Yes, rested and healed.
Everyone's back at their normal hit points.
- It's revealed that you're thinking, these dumb bitches.
- So, the four of you and your companion Kerwyn
alight onto this flying carpet, and-
- Twyla begins singing A Whole New World.
- But 'whole' is spelled H-O-L-E.
- [Bob] A Hole New World.
- The carpet alights over Hollowgrave,
and you see the twisting sands and barren rocks
of the Underworld begin to race underneath you
as ridges and mountains and different cliffs
begin to peel away.
It's almost-, the ground's racing up behind you
as fast as possible.
The wind whipping at your hair,
you see red clouds and crimson lightning in the distance,
and the thrill of sudden flight, this strange feeling
of the wind pushing you and yet everywhere
that your limbs, your feet, your hands touch the carpet,
you feel the soft fabric and feel completely safe
and anchored to it even as the wind races past you.
As you travel, you see the road winding away.
You've taken some amount of time to go to the bazaar,
make this deal, and before long, it's basically,
I mean, minutes before suddenly you see
ahead in the distance Shalila and her entourage.
So, what has taken her hours of travel,
you in minutes have caught up on this flying carpet,
and do you descend and approach?
- I think it's on you. This is your friend, Troyánn.
- Okay, so the carpet pulls up. (mimics wheels screeching)
- We're in front of her? - We just cut them off.
- [Jujubee] Oh, so she sees we got a carpet?
- Yeah.
- The carpet's loyal to me, I think.
- Okay. - You pull up.
The carpet, you know, there's no other...
You can just back into a spot.
- Hey, Shalila.
- My goodness, very well. You've all arrived here.
Didn't know you had such a ride with you.
That's incredible. Where did you get that?
- We just got it at the bazaar. Nyruth, love him.
- Wow. - It's a standard 2019-
- Me and Nyruth, we kind of have a...
We're cool. He likes me a lot.
- It is manual, though.
- I've never known Nyruth to like anybody.
He certainly does not like me, so that's weird.
- Well, we wanted to talk to you
because in lieu of what you told me about my mother
and why I've been bringing souls here to the Underworld,
we've done some thinking.
We all have some requests of Thanara,
and we'd like to present her with the souls, not you.
- At this point I use Message
to talk to Troyánn and go,
I don't feel like this is what we agreed to!
- This is. We're being honest.
- Is that what we said we were doing?
Okay, then she said it back, and I said okay, got it.
Just double checking. - You see Shalila
looks at you and goes, you wish...
You wish to present these souls
to the Goddess of Death herself,
my mistress, who I have long served?
You four, you should not even be
beyond the bounds of Hollowgrave!
Journeying farther in here, the very winds themselves
will drink your life force alive.
If you have already...
Have you already had a night's sleep in the Underworld?
You know that you have not.
You've only rested that one hour with the tea.
- Shalila, it's irrelevant.
We respect your work as a hunter for the goddess.
- I thought we were being friendly!
- But we are all on a journey here as well,
and we'd like to once again kindly ask you-
- She has an accent now.
- To have the bag of souls to present to Thanara.
- Gertrude, her eyes are beating from left to right.
She is sweating profusely.
She just keeps looking at Princess, going...
- Twyla turns into a rock.
- Troyánn, please give me a persuasion check.
- Oh no!
- Big money, big money, no whammies.
- The difficulty, a 15 means she will hear out
some part of what you are saying.
- Jesus.
- A 20 means that she'll work with you,
and a 25 is like perfect.
- Do I have any advantage?
- If anyone wants to give a help action, they can.
- Help, help! Help! - Okay, what do you say
in order to help Troyánn with-
- Okay, I look at Shalila and go, one moment please.
I pull Troyánn to the side and I go, listen.
I feel like we gotta be a little...
We don't want to upset this woman.
- The game night! What about the game night?
- Yeah, you can mention the game night to sweeten the deal.
We can play Uno. We can play anything she wants to play.
- Tell her we have like 80 games.
- Yeah. - You turn back to Shalila.
To entreat with the goddess herself!
She has not seen a living mortal since...
Since your father!
- This makes me happy that we didn't
pretend to be her and walk around.
That would really be suspicious.
Glad we dodged that bullet.
- I hear you, Shalila, and you know,
I do also want to tell you,
we did formally invite you to game night.
I know you seemed very excited about it,
and we would like to still invite you to game night
if you and your four friends, guards, would like to come.
- Now you may roll with advantage.
Let's go ahead and do this persuasion roll.
- Gertrude does want to know, did she disguise your accent?
Because it changed. - Okay!
- I'd really like to know
why you're speaking like that, Troyánn.
- Yesterday- - It comes and goes.
- Before the nap, it didn't sound like that.
- I'm literally pretending to be American here!
- Wait, so I roll with-
- [Brennan] You're going to roll with advantage,
so you're going to roll twice
and take the better of the two rolls.
- Or the be'er of the two rolls.
- Don't do that fucking double one shit again.
Everyone think 20.
- We're thinking 20. - 20, 20, 20!
- 11.
- Plus, what do you add to your persuasion?
- Two. - [Brennan] So 13.
So this has got to be a 13-
- She ain't got no persuasion skills.
- [Brennan] -a 13 or higher.
- If we all say 20 at the same time on three.
One, two, three. - [Cast] 20!
- 19! - [Brennan] 19 plus 2 is 21!
- Whoa! - [Brennan] Incredible.
There we go, there we go.
So you see she looks and says,
this is highly out of order and extremely unorthodox.
Sorry!
And you see out of her one eye
that's not covered by the mask
she cries a little bit and just says,
I've just never really been invited to anything like that.
You know, down here,
when you are the emissary of the goddess,
people either fawn over you or they cringe
or they want something from you, and it's just very nice
to feel like people relate to you on a personal level,
not just 'cause they want something from you.
- Aw. - I hear that, Shalila.
We will gladly have you at game night.
We are playing Scrabble, Uno,
and of course, your favorite, Parcheesi.
- Ah!
I love Parcheesi! - I know you do.
- Wow, all right, well,
I am going to make a buffalo chicken dip
that will make your socks roll up and down.
- Ooh! - Wonderful.
- All right.
Listen, I cannot guarantee what mood will strike her
when you approach,
but I cannot in good conscience say
that it is unprecedented,
as the previous hunter of Everdeep
did approach her with seven souls.
So I do not think I would be doing anything
I am unallowed to do.
She reaches into her satchel
and returns the Amulet of Souls to you.
Feel free to approach her yourself.
I have other business in the wasteland
on my way to the Tower of Tombs,
but I assume you will get there long before I do.
I will just say,
be very careful.
There are others currently at the tower
entreating the Goddess of Death.
- Already there? - Bet it's Keke.
- Keke. - Not already there!
We gotta hurry up. - We gotta book it.
- I would hurry swiftly then, my friend.
Much business do I do with mortals
in the town of Hollowgrave,
and you have always seen to your own business
and held yourself with your chin high.
But I've always felt
even amongst our very quick negotiations
the respect that you had for me, and I return it to you.
- Thank you. As we say in Everdeep, Malaso Kano.
- Is it normal or okay for me to do that back?
- You can do it as well. - Malasa Kano.
And you see that again, she wipes that one tear and says,
farewell, and good luck flying there.
You will need all haste.
You have your Amulet of Souls back.
- Guys, honesty was the- (Brennan laughs)
This whole time! - Isn't that funny?
- The whole time!
- See, but you had to be stern.
Because if I came in soft, she would've took us as a punk.
You had to come in stern and then, you know.
- Malala Kano. - Well done.
- Malala Kano. - So we better hop on this.
- Let's jump on this carpet.
- We better hop on this fucking carpet.
- I'm going to just fly right next to y'all.
- This good old shag carpet.
- [Bob] Can you fly as fast as the carpet?
- Baby, I'm fey.
- She's the fastest one here. - On her legs. Okay, fine.
- You know what, ride alongside.
- Let me just sit in the back though, because I get carsick.
- That's fair.
- All of you begin to take off on the carpet,
peeling out over the wastelands here.
As you travel, you see the tower off in the distance,
and journeying as fast as you can,
you look and see many sights underneath you.
Anyone who wants to,
go ahead and give me a perception check.
- Who's the lucky...
Alaska's got the lucky hand.
- You can all make it. - Damn.
- Perception, plus seven for me.
- I have an 11. - Dirty 20.
- Dirty 20, incredible. - A dirty 20.
- Two plus seven is nine. - I have a 17.
- As you are flying, Princess, you look down and behold,
racing over the wastelands,
you see there is a field beneath you.
Much of the Underworld is very barren,
but you see this field that at first almost looks like crops
or there's some sort of thing, something planted here,
but you know that nothing grows down here.
But you see it's actually a field of swords.
You see that there are swords planted in the ground,
point down, and there's an entire field of them.
As you look down and behold them,
you see that there are soft lights sort of dancing,
almost like motes of starlight
dancing in this field down beneath you.
It's a strange sight that may not have any significance
to you in this moment, and you're very busy
moving as swiftly as you are, but you do see
it has a strange, sort of eerie beauty to it.
On that high roll as well, having gotten that dirty 20,
moving over it, you begin to see all of these swords.
There's hundreds of them.
Then you see others, spears and axes,
and you begin to see that their hilts
are wrapped in vines and leaves.
There are holly branches in the cross-guards.
I think you realize that these are the swords
of fallen fairy warriors
scattered all throughout this place.
You do not believe that your companions have noticed.
Perhaps there is too much urgency to stop
or to point it out, but I don't know, it's up to Princess
whether you want to point it out to your companions or not.
- Mm-hm, yeah, Princess taps Twyla
and points at the field of swords.
- Twyla looks up at Princess and says,
what are you talking about?
(Alaska grunting insistently)
My people. Okay, well, I think...
What does Twyla do now? She's really confused.
- [Bob] Does she want to talk about her feelings?
- I think so.
I think Twyla's a little, you know,
I think she's really sad now, yeah.
- How are you feeling?
Because all your people are gone, too.
- Everybody's gone, right?
And then thinking back,
the trading situation was, it was the memories
that wanted to be gathered by that demon.
He wanted my memories,
and I think that because I've lost everything and my people,
that's all I have left.
So for me to be down here, to finally see this,
I think it's a step closer
to finally maybe getting Thanara
to bring the people back.
- Twyla, as you look down,
the carpet just sort of slows a little bit,
still in the air, but as you touch the playing cards
at your side, you see all these little motes of light
sort of begin to swirl.
They're sort of down below you,
but you see they're sort of beautiful.
They sort of bob along, and they begin to twist up.
The ones right underneath you begin to sort of twist up,
and you see they're only about that big, small,
and you see that they start to touch
the deck of cards at your side and just-
- They recognize you.
- So they're not playing cards, are they?
- They recognize you or something.
They also have memories attached to these cards as well.
- Yeah. - Anyone who would like to
can make an arcana check, which is one of your skills.
- We all give it a roll? - [Brennan] Yeah, anyone who wants to.
- Arcana. - Anyone can do it?
- Anyone can do it, yeah, it's just to see
if you know anything about what's happening.
- Five plus seven. I'm at 12. - 12, okay, yeah.
- Five. - [Brennan] Five.
- I'm at 14. - [Brennan] 14.
- 17 plus 2. - Perfect.
- 19.
- Twyla, you have heard stories about this before.
These little lights coming up from the field of swords
are called Will-o'-Wisps,
and basically the souls of fairies,
because fairies are almost like living spirits themselves,
they do not become corrupted in the Underworld,
and rather than kind of be in their bodies
and sort of be rotting, a lot of the mortals you've seen,
they're still very attached to their lives,
but fairies are so of life and of the present moment-
- What are they called? - Will-o'-Wisps.
- She won Drag Race. - Willow Wisp.
- Ms. Willow Wisp. - Wait, Will-o'-Wisps?
- It's the light spirit memory thing.
- Yeah, these are sort of like the living spirit.
These are, yeah, the spirits of fallen fey
that are not corrupted by the Underworld,
but also by sort of remaining pure,
they just end up being these little motes of light.
- There's hundreds of them?
- I'm imagining that the fey people are made up of light,
and when they come down here,
they're just dimmed a little bit,
so their light still exists,
and Twyla is trying to release them.
- Is there any way we can find out
a little more about her seed?
- The Seed of the All Blossom.
- [Brennan] Yeah, if you want to descend down
a little bit towards the field, I think the carpet-
- (whisper) Do I plant that here?
- What? - (whisper) Do I plant that here?
- I don't know, is there a way to find out?
- Not here.
- They say nothing can grow here. These veins.
- You land down and you begin to look around.
Twyla, you look and see an ax
that you remember was Captain Martha's ax.
You see a tiny little mound of sand
that has a little sewing needle and a button shield, and-
- (whisper) That's Alvin!
- All of these motes of light begin to dance around,
bumping into you, but a lot of them, you can see them,
it's almost like going to a butterfly exhibit
and having them land on you, these beautiful little lights,
and a lot of of them are going towards those playing cards.
You realize, like Nyruth said,
the memories associated with that object.
Of the things you carry, you know, some of them remember,
oh yeah, I remember that was like Twyla's armor, her sword.
But the playing cards were a thing
that was meant to bring you all together,
meant to be a shared memory.
- Community.
- You gotta do something with those cards or something.
- Yeah.
- Alaska, you're good at this. Tell us what to do.
- (silent) I don't fucking know.
- I think in this moment, give me an insight check,
and I think you can do it with advantage
since your friends have helped.
- [Bob] I'm helping you. - [Brennan] Yeah.
- [Jujubee] Okay.
- [Brennan] So go ahead and give me an insight.
- [Bob] We're all like, what's going on?
Tell us what's happening.
- [Jujubee] Insight. - [Monét] They're just playing cards.
- That's a nine. - Go ahead and roll.
You do have advantage, so you can roll again
and take the higher of the two.
- [Monét] This is insight? - [Brennan] Insight, yeah.
- That's an eight.
- Okay, and what do you add to insight?
- Four. - Okay, so 9 plus 4 is 13.
I think in this moment, you're racking your brain
for, what's a spell I can cast or a thing like that?
And I think that there's a moment of sorrow here
as you realize that there is not some big arcane answer.
But you see that they're bumping into the cards.
- The cards.
- [Brennan] You could just take your cards out.
- Take them out? - Yeah.
- Should we play cards, ladies?
- We could play a round of cards.
- Yeah.
- Take them out and lay them on the ground.
- You take your cards.
You lay them out on the ground to play a quick hand,
and as you do, you see all the little motes of light
begin to bump into the face-up cards,
and when they hit the face-up cards, you see they, ping!
And the little diamonds or the little clubs
on the cards light up. - Ooh.
- And you see that all of them,
and there's just this enchanting sort of feeling
as all of the lights here in this monument
of these fallen warriors join the the cards,
and your deck of cards is glowing bright as the sun.
And the lights fades, and they feel warm to the touch
as all the Will-o'-Wisps, every last one, enters the deck,
and it feels warm, and your deck of cards
contains all of that light now.
- Awesome. - You're like Gambit.
- So do you put them back?
What do you do with these cards now?
- I think I'm going to put it back into my Snatch-el,
and when we get to Thanara, we can have a discussion.
- I think your little pixie firefly fairy things
have imbued you with a little fey.
- They seem to be some help.
- It's almost, I feel like I've gotten to the point
where I've collected all of the light and possibly these souls
and now we just have to continue the journey
to get to where we all need to be,
because I think this is probably
what we're going to do right here right now.
- We're in a pretty good position.
We haven't given up anything that we started with.
All we gave up was one thing we just took from some zombie.
- And we didn't need it.
- Some zombie twink, you know what I mean?
That's the only thing that we've lost.
- Right. - The zombie twink.
- That was really beautiful. Now my people are with me.
- Okay, we're about to be at this bitch's house.
- [Brennan] You see Kerwyn- - Kerwyn's still here!
- Kerwyn's still here. Still here, sorry.
Should I announce when I'm giving you all a moment? - Oh my god.
- Your uncle's so quiet.
- Again, just happy to be here. I've got to interrupt.
That seemed very sacred and quite beautiful.
An issue that I foresee looking in the distance
is we're in a lot of danger.
And you see he points.
On the horizon, you look, and it's hard to see,
because at first you thought it was part of the sky.
But you see
dust, sand, rock kicking up,
going straight up from the ground.
You realize, you're looking at a mountain range?
You're looking at a wall of wind and sand
as a storm races across the desert towards you.
- Oh! - It is miles-
- It's moving? - Miles wide. You look at it.
At first it's so vast that you think you're looking
at a piece of the landscape, and then realize,
you see a half a mile away, a small, weird little vein
just get sucked up into the sky by a storm.
It's like a desert sandstorm racing towards you.
- God. - And as the wind moves,
you see faces in the sand.
Kerwyn goes, soul storm. Soul storm, soul storm!
- Soul storm? - A soul storm? Oh god.
- Can I do a Rope Trick?
- None of our physical magic is going to work.
- Can we fly the fuck out of here with the magic carpet?
- Are we going to turn around? - Oh, we got a carpet.
- We're on the carpet.
- Yeah, we don't want to go back.
We're trying to go forward.
- Can we just go higher?
- So where the soul storm is coming from,
you could try to outrace it.
It's coming right now from an angle.
- Is it chasing us or coming to us?
- It's coming towards you,
but it's not coming from the direction that you're going.
- Got it, we're going that way and it's going this way.
- [Brennan] Yeah, it's coming from the side.
- Following us.
- So it's possible that you could try
to just get on that carpet and outrace it.
- I think so. - Are there any speed spells?
- Who's the heaviest? They should not be on this carpet.
- Hey! - I'm just saying!
- I don't have any speed spell.
- Me either.
- Alaska moves the fastest, but she doesn't have spells.
- We're not on foot. - Y'all have the spells.
- But nothing that makes us move fast.
- Y'all can't make spells with little items or something?
- I can't ask a forest creature
to come down here to do anything.
What is the Druidcraft? - Maybe we just try our best,
just punch it.
- Yeah! - Oh, like go fast.
- Yeah, we just- - Outrun that shit.
- Hell yeah.
- We just, we grab some of this rug.
Everyone grabs a tassel, and we just pull back,
and we're like, hi-ya! - [Monét] Okay.
- Hell yes, all of you are sprinting,
and you can see the stones around you
shaking on the ground at the approaching thing.
- [Monét] The Soul storm. - Yeah.
You can see that the wind has kicked up.
Through the sand, now that you're looking through
as it gets closer, there's purple, indigo rocks,
you see the wind screaming ghosts.
Most of the undead you've seen
have been corporeal, like rotting bodies.
These are spirits that have been in the Underworld so long
that everything rotted away until it was just spirit left.
- Your father brought these souls here.
They went back. Sorry, they went back.
- He released all those souls. He's dead.
- My bad, sorry. That was uncalled for.
- Very sensitive. - It's a tense moment, I have anxiety!
I don't act my best when I'm anxious!
- I don't mock your daddy. Damn.
- Screaming souls,
long trails of this ghastly green-white energy
(Brennan shrieks)
as they scream, and all of you jump on the carpet.
We are going to make some rolls as you move
to outpace this storm.
- God. - So what we're going to do is this.
This is going to be acrobatics checks from the group.
- I have an eight.
- It's going to be acrobatics checks,
but it's going to be group checks,
so we're going to use the two highest rolls, okay?
- Let's see those lucky hands.
- 15- - What's your acrobatics plus?
- Plus three.
- Monét, we really need you to-
- So 15 means you keep pace.
If you don't have your two highest rolls beat a 15,
that's when trouble starts.
15's the number you're trying to beat to keep pace with it.
If you dip under that, the storm's going to overtake you.
So let's go ahead and roll-
- If we go over 15, we outrun it?
- You'll keep pace.
You need to go over 20 in order to outrun it.
- [Jujubee] Which one are we doing?
- It's the very top one. - Acrobatics.
- The very first one on skills.
- [Brennan] 10. - I have a 10.
- [Brennan] Okay, 10 plus what? - I got a 17!
- [Brennan] 17? - 17 plus 3.
- [Brennan] Dirty 20. - Dirty 20!
- [Brennan] Okay. - I have a 14 plus 5, 19.
- 19, okay, 19 doesn't get us all the way to 20,
so that's our second roll.
- Monét, what you got? - Eight.
- 18. - Plus what?
- 18 altogether. - 18 altogether.
- Oh! 18, 19, 20! - 18, 19, 20. Cool.
So we're going to go with that 19 as that median roll there.
It's not all the way to a 20, so you see, you guys,
so you're taking some time to try to ascend,
so you're not getting far ahead of it.
You're going up, up, up.
You see it's about 50 feet behind
the back tassels of your rug. - Oh my God.
- As we're going, Twyla slips a little bit,
and she's rolling off, and I grab her by her longbow.
- Boom. You grab her back, incredible.
We're going to roll again. Give me another acrobatics check.
- Pull her back on.
- She is just, wings are just-
- Am I still a rock, though? - That's up to you.
- 18. - [Brennan] 18.
- I got an eight this time. - Okay, 15 plus 5 is 20.
- [Brennan] 20. - Dirty 20.
- Okay, we need two 20s to outrun the storm.
Does anyone else get a 20?
- No, I got an eight plus three.
- I have a 10.
- 10 plus 3? Everything added up?
- All together, 10.
- What'd you roll, a two? - Yes!
- Jesus Christ! Don't touch the dice anymore.
- You see Kerwyn going, we need to move faster!
We need to move!
And you see that he just starts looking around,
just throwing stuff at the storm
because he can't help at all.
He just throws a knife at it. Is that helping?
Now it's the third round we're doing this.
Stakes are going to go a little bit higher.
So now we need two 20s.
If you get two 20s, it's the same thing.
You'll escape the storm fully. - Dirty or nat?
- Dirty or nat,
but now if you get under 18s,
the storm gets you.
- Okay, so I think we should all say 20 at the same time,
because that worked last time.
- [Cast] One, two, three, 20!
- Oh, nat one. - Not a 20!
- I got a nat one! - Nat one.
- So one plus five, I got six. - I have a 12.
- I have a 13. - Bad.
- 13. - We're in a world of trouble.
- You see a mouth in the storm behind you.
- Jesus.
- All of its teeth screaming spirits, the storm.
You feel the edge of the tassels going back into the mouth.
(Brennan screams)
Above you, you hear... (screeches)
(Brennan mimics wings beating)
- There might be dead animals, too.
- Barreling down from the sky, you see a winged shape
with a long tail made of shadow,
a dragon descending from the sky.
- You speak dragon!
- I don't know if he's interested in talking.
- With a rider on it.
An armored figured descends from on top.
As the figure on the dragon descends through the sky
towards you, you see a rope lowered down.
Twyla, you recognize this spell.
- I do. - You see a rope descends.
- It's a Rope Trick! - It's a Rope Trick spell.
I'm going to need everyone here
to make one last dexterity saving throw,
so it's not acrobatics anymore,
now it's a dexterity saving throw.
- I've got plus three. Who's got a high one?
- I have a plus five.
- This is a lower difficulty than before
because this person is helping you, so go ahead.
- I have plus eight. - [Brennan] Plus eight.
- Ooh, nice. - [Brennan] Let's go ahead and roll.
We need two of these rolls to beat a 13.
- 13 plus 8.
13 plus 8 is 21. - [Brennan] Plus 8, 21.
- I have 19. - I have 17.
- [Brennan] 17, hell yes. - 18.
- Great, okay. - So as the storm,
this giant mouth, this dragon rider who appears from nowhere
throws a rope down, the mouth, boom, comes down,
and in the moment it comes down, you all touch the rope,
grab the carpet, and vanish- - We vanish?
- You all vanish into shadow.
The Rope Trick spell momentarily creates
a safe pocket dimension.
You all look.
You're in a strange extra-dimensional space,
but you see there's a pane of dark glass,
and you look out and see spirits and swirling sand,
but you are momentarily protected
in this magical bubble, this sanctuary.
- We're in the storm? - You're in the storm.
The storm is outside, but you're protected by magic.
You see the storm raging around you
on this platform of darkened glass, protected by magic,
and you see this figure
with this dragon of shadow, who's a smaller dragon.
It's about 20 feet long. It's not the size of a skyscraper.
- Tiny. - Yeah.
- Is this dragon alive or is this dragon dead too?
- It looks like neither alive nor dead.
It looks more like a spirit, like a summoned creature.
- Got it.
- You see the figure remove her helmet.
Long, beautiful raven tresses emerge,
and you see this woman behold you and smile and go,
I'm very glad I was able to catch you in time
to save you from the soul storm.
I am Norelle Blaze.
I believe you met my grandson in life.
- Oh!
- Yes, hold on, I'm going to write this name down.
Norelle Blaze.
- My grandson may have referred to me as Norbert,
but it is a pleasure and an honor to meet you here.
- Okay, yes. - Who's the grandson?
- Who came to the house. - The little kid.
- Yes, when you were like, your grandfather Norbert was gay.
- I misread it. I didn't read it right.
I didn't read it right. I didn't read it right!
- Well, you see here in this moment that, yeah,
her long raven tresses, her face has long eyeshadow
that curls down at the edges, and she looks at you and says,
my grandson found those treasures,
and upon finding them,
due to the magic of that treasure I hid,
I found a little map of my own.
And she takes a Underworld copy of the map you drew
and goes, and some of those treasures were capable
of existing in both the world above and this one here.
Thank you for the kindness you did my grandson.
- It was my pleasure.
- And she scratches her dragon,
who (purrs) kind of purrs and shakes its head,
and opens a saddlebag and says, consider this a token.
You deserve to be paid with more than just a warning.
I hope you and your friends succeed in your quest.
And Norelle, she begins to just pull magical treasures
out of this bag, and I have here
a stack of magic items for all of you.
- We randomly draw?
- Oh, you don't have to randomly draw.
- They're all ours.
- [Brennan] All of them are yours. - Oh, got it.
- God!
- We should randomly draw. That'd make it a little more fun.
- We'll take them all. Let her randomly draw.
- We want them all, Norelle.
- Come on, Norelle! - Erika Norell.
- Okay. - Hell yes.
You see that she begins to hand them out to you,
and I'll just tell you as the Dungeon Master
what these objects do.
She has a hunter's bow and a Bow of the Seelie,
which are plus one magical longbows.
She has a Greataxe of the Mighty.
- That's for you. - A powerful magical ax.
And she also carries with her a Javelin of Lightning.
You see this golden sort of lightning-crafted javelin.
- And it's one that kind of shrinks, and when I need it,
I just tap this and it gets long again.
- Isn't the bow yours? Aren't you the bow girl?
- We both have bows. - We have longbows.
- There's actually enough for everyone to get two.
- Nice, we don't have to fight about it.
- Two of each.
- You see she also has a pair of magical boots,
these tall, sort of cuffed boots that you see have-
- Are those the Chanel magical boots? Yes, they are.
- Yes.
(cast laughs)
- She has here as well, she brings out a crystal ball
on an ornate silver stand.
- That's for me, too. - Monét, calm down!
My god!
- You get the boots! - Not everything's for you.
- A beautiful, what looks like a sort of crystalline staff-
- A letter that says, for Gertrude. That's for me too!
- She says, most importantly for down here,
several potions of healing.
And finally, I'm not sure
who this should be for, but I do have,
and she takes out a very small, very subtle ring.
It looks like a little sort of, almost white ivory ring,
and she says, I'm not sure if any of you,
you may not be interested in a power like this.
It is a Ring of Invisibility.
- Oh, I don't need that.
That's mine!
That's mine.
- [Monét] Finally. - I am not worthy!
Twyla excitedly says, oh, there it is!
May I please have it?
- Incredible, all right. - Finally!
- Ring of Invisibility.
- I'll take the one that changes my-
- Bow of the Seelie.
- That's so cool. - We have the Javelin of Lightning here.
- Thank you.
- Ax of the Mighty right here. - Thank you.
- Then we have the Staff of the War Mage here.
- And a Volkswagen Beetle.
- I have a little quarterstaff.
This is much more powerful than the quarterstaff.
- Boots. - Crystal ball.
Then you have four potions of healing,
which, if each of you wants to take one-
- One of each, yeah. - Yeah, here you go.
- Actually, I don't think Twyla needs any.
- I can heal, so y'all should keep it.
- Okay, gotcha. - Who's got the boots?
- Me. - Read the boots.
- ♪ Material girl, want Chanel nine boots ♪
- While you wear these boots, you can use a bonus action
and click the boots' heels together.
If you do, the boots double your walking speed
and any creature that makes an opportunity attack
against you has disadvantage on the attack roll.
- Werk.
- If you click the heels together again, you end the effect,
and when it's been used for a total of 10 minutes,
the magic ceases to function until you finish a long rest.
- Werk.
- If you click them again, you go home.
- To the land of Oz!
- Yes, mama.
- So all of you sort of have gained a weapon
that gives you a plus one to attack and damage,
so your bows, your ax,
your Staff of the War Mage gives you a plus one
for spells where you make an attack roll.
Not every one of your spells involves an attack roll,
but the ones that do, you'll have that plus one.
And then the Javelin of Lightning
effectively allows you to throw, and it creates
a line on the battlefield of lightning damage.
The Boots of Speed increase your speed,
which increases your jumping
and makes you very good at running past enemies.
And the Ring of Invisibility allows you to turn invisible.
One thing to note about the Ring of Invisibility,
attacking or casting a spell ends the invisibility effect.
And then the crystal ball
allows you to scry over long distances,
to see and hear things happening far away.
- A little recon. - The storm rages outside,
and you see that Norelle looks at you and goes,
I'm sure you're aware that Zaria Hex
has already moved across the wasteland,
and her army waits outside the Tower of Tombs.
If you want to gain entry to the tower,
you'll have to find some way around them
or to sneak through.
There are many thousands of undead soldiers
outside of the tower.
- I know an invisible girl.
- You see that she then looks at you all and says,
I know that Zaria has been waiting there for some time
for two travelers from the mortal world.
I believe she has been waiting there for some time.
I've been keeping an eye out as best I can.
But I believe that there has been some force
helping them navigate the Underworld.
I can't be sure, Shalila of the Half Mask or some...
I couldn't say, exactly,
but there has been someone helping Zaria,
knowing the ins and outs of the Underworld down here.
The Underworld has always been a dismal place,
but of late, it has grown darker still.
Strange appetites of the goddess Thanara
making deals with mortals above,
rumors of bargains of immortality and such like that.
I hope these treasures can be of some help to you.
There was no hope for me
to assail the Tower of Tombs myself.
As a dead soul, the goddess of the Underworld
could simply banish me to the farthest edges
of the Underworld, but four living mortals
might stand a chance where I would not.
- All right. - Okay.
- This is what we know.
We know that we cannot fight our way through this one.
- No. - What if we use our clasps
and pretend to be undead bitches?
- But then she'll snap us away, maybe.
- But we can get through the army, at least.
- The clasps only...
The goddess's power is not based on illusion.
She only has power over the dead.
The Wraith Clasps just make you seem dead.
So she would not gain power over you.
- Smart.
- But to get through the Zaria Hex army, I mean.
'Cause they're, like, guarding outside.
- She'll think we're just undead.
- Like, hey!
- No, that's not going to happen.
- It's kind of like in Walking Dead
when they just pretend to be zombies.
- So who is Zaria Hex keeping out?
Is she keeping out the living? Because she's not dead.
So is she keeping out the living?
- She's waiting for somebody, right?
- So she's expecting two living souls.
She's expecting two living people.
But if four dead people walk up, or five, because-
- Thank you.
- Kerwyn. - Kerwyn's still here.
- You remembered me! I'm here.
- Yeah, I remembered you this time.
I remembered you this time.
Maybe they're not expecting us.
- Can Kerwyn go first?
- Maybe let's see how convincing these Wraith Clasps look.
- Okay, I'll grab mine. - I have mine, too.
- So at this point, Gertrude reaches into her backpack.
She pulls out her Wraith Clasp. She looks at it.
It's really quite beautiful.
She puts it over one horn and then the other horn,
and then it kind of, once she clasps it in the back,
all of a sudden she just feels
her body convulsing and shaking.
She's foaming at the mouth.
She's like, wait, wait, wait! Wait, wait, wait!
And then her body feels like it's turning inside-out.
Then a maggot starts to crawl out of her eye.
She's like, is there something on my face?
Is there something on my face?
- Do you want there to be or not?
- Then her arm looks like it just falls off,
and then she just all of a sudden
looks like a half-decayed zombie.
She's like, is it giving?
- [Monét And Alaska] It's giving. - [Jujubee] Yes!
You're giving me death.
- It's giving Death Becomes Her.
- You see Norelle goes, (gags) those will work.
Those will work.
- Let's try them on.
I feel like Elle Woods at the party dressed like a bunny.
Put yours on, too.
- I put mine on, and all my makeup just comes off.
Here we are. - That was under there?
- Yep. - Woof.
- Now she's dead.
- Embracing your natural beauty. I love that.
- I put mine on and, you know,
when merpeople start to decay,
I kind of look like I've just had rigor mortis.
All of my limbs swell. I look bloated, like I drowned.
- Oh, gross. - Yeah.
- And Princess puts hers on,
and then she's just a really large zombie.
- Yeah, you look a lot like Kerwyn, honestly.
Nice to have some company. - Like a twin.
- The storm passes outside, and as it does so,
you see once again, passes into the distance.
Your carpet flutters and awaits you,
and Norelle bows her head once more and says,
farewell out there.
If you are lucky, then more than just Kelvorda
might be saved by your actions.
And you take to the carpet and whisk away.
As you begin to approach the Tower of Tombs, you see it.
Monolith of obsidian, basalt, volcanic rock.
It seems to drink the light. You see the base of the tower.
These red veins attach to the rock
as though the stone itself were the dead, unbeating heart
of the ancient entity that was this Underworld.
Surrounding the base of the tower
that you can see from a far distance,
you know, you're way, way up high,
you see shambling hordes, zombie soldiers.
You see these are, unlike the dead souls
you've met before, completely under thrall.
They have no will anymore.
Their unlife depends on the magical power of Zaria Hex.
(Brennan groans)
- Put our acting skills to work here.
- Chattering skeletons begin to move around.
Here's the thing.
Unfortunately, flying overhead will give you away.
What do you want to do? Do you want to land and go on foot?
- I think we park the carpet. - We park the carpet.
- And just kind of walk up from the side
and just kind of Thriller up to the gate.
(Monét singing Thriller)
- Is there a world where we could still use
a Pass Without Trace spell? - Absolutely.
- What's that one again? What does it do?
- So what happens is, it disguises me, us,
in shadows to aid in stealth and cover our tracks.
- I will say because this is so specific,
I'm going to allow the plus 10 from Pass Without Trace
to actually aid a performance check of you passing
as undead in this space. - Okay.
- Right, so I'm going to say you summon those shadows,
and the shadows sort of fill the spots in your body
so even all that rotting that the Wraith Clasps are doing,
Pass Without Shadows finds the wounds
and actually opens the shadow in your torso
so it looks like there are holes in your body,
true rot and wounds and injuries from long ago,
and the spell manifests.
Let's go ahead and we're going to roll
a group performance check as you attempt to walk
to the Tower of Tombs disguised as undead.
- Oh god.
- You're going to add 10 to all these rolls from that spell.
- Oh. - [Bob] 10 plus what we have right here?
- [Brennan] Plus whatever you have. - 25.
- 21 plus 10, 31. - I'm at 33.
- 31 and 33? - [Bob] I rolled an 18.
- I rolled a four, gosh darn it.
- I think we got high. We got 30s, this is pretty good.
- Plus three. 17. - So on a group check,
you use the two highest rolls, so 34 and 31.
What do you all start to do as you get the carpet
and, boop boop, get the carpet locked up?
It sort of rolls up into a roll and lies there.
As you go over the ridge,
it's just suddenly thousands of shambling zombies.
What do you all do?
- We start a conga line!
- Tiptoeing.
- So Gertrude looks over and goes,
all right girls, it's showtime!
- We should just go like this.
- We should put on a Thriller dance.
I think we should really celebrate the moment.
- We're doing this dance, but it does look very undead.
It is very convincing. No one is suspecting us at all.
We are writhing and crawling.
I'm using my one arm to keep scooting ahead.
- Who chopped the other one off?
- It looked like it fell off, remember?
- Oh, right. - Incredible.
- It's still there,
but I don't want them to see me using the gone arm.
They'd go, hey! That bitch is using the dead arm!
- As you begin to walk,
you see the sort of shambling figures around you.
(Brennan groaning like a zombie)
(80's style music plays)
- Oh they join us! Inspired. - We start a flash mob.
(80's style music stops)
Hey! - As you begin to walk,
you're totally obscured, and you see up on a dais,
as you sneak closer and closer, you see one of the veins
in the base of the tower is sort of attached to the stone,
but you see that there is a seam in the side
and an opening into the base of the tower that can get you
away from all of these hordes waiting there.
As you move through and see that the sort of flash mob
of zombies is disguising your approach,
you just seem like one of many doing this,
you hear a stern voice, and Twyla,
you hear a voice you have not heard in years.
Minions of death!
Flash mob if you wish,
but heed my words!
The time has come.
(Jujubee gasps)
- That's very triggering to Drag Race girls.
"The time has come" - I know!
is a very triggering phrase to Drag Race girls.
- And I did not stretch today, so I'm really nervous.
- "The time has come," oh god! - Especially for me.
- At first you're like, oh,
is there a throne or some kind of podium or whatever?
And you see it's not.
The skeletons and zombies literally crawl
on top of each other to make a staircase.
- Oh wow.
- [Brennan] And a woman in blood red robes
with a crown of blood, Zaria Hex-
- [Monét] There she is! - [Jujubee] Whoa!
- Walks up and says, and she's like a quarter mile away.
You're getting close to the tower, your plan is working,
but you just hear this address.
She says, my beautiful, rotting minions!
My soldiers of death!
We have come to entreat Thanara, goddess of the Underworld!
Our mission is so close at hand.
You were so beautiful, so vile,
so wondrous in your destruction of the fairy lands.
But one Seed of the All Blossom yet lives!
- Which I have.
- And until that seed is destroyed,
then the chance, however slim,
that those disgusting fairies might come back yet lives.
Heed my allies.
Look for the signs.
As you would listen to me, listen to them still.
And you see two figures join her
on this platform of animated bone and skeletons.
- Oh shit, here comes your fucking cousin, probably.
- Oh, stop it. - You see a merwoman.
- Ah! - [Brennan] Her hair tied back.
- Your family's a mess!
- I'm so mad at your family. - Your family is a mess.
- You see that she has a new weapon
you haven't seen her use before.
She has feet and feet of chain,
thick chain wrapped around her,
and a massive fishhook at the end
made of gleaming, almost chrome steel.
You see it's a weapon just made to kill merfolk.
- I've heard of this weapon. - [Brennan] Yes.
- Never seen it before. The Canolin Hook of Death.
- The Canolin Hook of Death, exactly.
- This bitch. - This is crazy.
- You see she stands there gazing to and fro.
You just see her sweeping around the crowd.
She remains silent.
You can tell Keena's not about this public relations shit.
She's just looking out and being like,
trying to eye the crowd.
But on a 31 and a 34, you have nothing to worry about.
- Keke's mother, she would not be pleased.
This is not how-
- She probably got the hook, by this point in her life!
- You see a figure step up that you have not seen before,
shrouded in a dark gray, almost black,
like a charcoal gray cloak, stands.
Light issues from underneath the cloak
such that you can't see a face.
I take this moment now to address all of you,
and I thank proud Zaria the Blood Queen.
Dark times make strange allies,
and though I would not normally work with a queen of death,
my service to the glorious god of the sun...
You see the hood falls back,
and you see a woman whose eyes have neither iris nor pupil.
They are milky white, pure, gleaming out.
Dull blonde hair
and a huge pendant of the sun on her armor,
giant sword at her side.
She says,
there is a witch in these lands. - (gasp) Goddammit.
- I am Morgan of the Glaring Sun.
- Morgan McMichaels.
- And I tell you now that there is one who walks here
who even more than any of you
has cast her sinful ways
upon the circle of life and death.
Her eyes gleam and she says,
I've come here hunting this witch.
I will find her.
If you lay your bony hands upon her, I ask only this.
Do not kill her. Do not destroy her.
The sun gazes on us all in its time.
This witch cannot die,
and I have long dreamed of finding such a wicked soul
so that she may burn forever.
- Oh no.
- Uh-oh.
- Jesus! - What'd you do to this lady?
- I don't even know this bitch!
- Is she going to be the one to remove your thing?
- No, she just wants to...
You never heard that quote,
"some people just want to watch the world burn?"
I think she's one of those types. So I gotta, okay-
- Wait, is that the last person that's revealed?
- At this point, you actually see Keena
touch a red amulet on her chest and sort of look around,
and you see that she just walks down the staircase
looking kind of suspiciously, and Keena just bolts
and heads into the main entrance of the tower.
So Keena has left, but you see that Morgan,
this witch hunter, turns over and says,
glorious times are ahead.
Zaria the Blood Queen says,
we are so happy to work with you, Inquisitor.
Morgan says, and I with you.
And here you see a pair of ash and soot covered wings
spreads from her back, feathered wings, and she-
- Hex? - No, from Morgan.
From the inquisitor.
She has a pair of wings on her back,
and she takes flight and begins to fly around the tower,
and you see she casts some spell and her eyes
become like spotlights, cones of light from her eyes.
- Avoid the light! Avoid it!
- You arrive at the base of the tower, at that opening.
That's the last thing.
It took you a while to get there,
but you saw all of that unfold.
You are at the base of the tower now.
- What was she looking for? - Us.
- Because they can feel your energy in the land.
She can feel your energy.
- But we have 34, so we're hidden really well.
- But she can feel your essence, I feel.
- Yeah.
- She's got some kind of magic, you know?
- She knows you're here. I say we get rid of you.
You are going to bring this bitch over here.
- Your whole family's the reason we're here, bitch!
- Yeah, but they don't know I'm here!
- Oh god. I'll tell them!
- She has echolocation on your ass!
- Oh my god.
- I think I have on my Ring of Invisibility right now.
But I have a question for you. - [Brennan] Yeah.
- Because right here it says,
you remain invisible until the ring is removed,
and anything you are wearing or carrying
is invisible with you.
- [Brennan] Yeah. - Can I carry my sisters?
- Unfortunately, I don't believe you can carry all of them,
but you still have Pass Without Trace, which I will allow...
That got you here, so you have a lot of stealth
to get through this place. - Okay, so we have enough.
- So you now have this opening into the Tower of Tombs.
- We can get in. We can get inside.
- I'm also trying to hide my Seed.
- Yeah, you have the Seed of the All Blossom.
- Read that thing you just read me.
- What? - They should know about this.
- Oh, can I ask about this? So it's Druidcraft, right?
One of the things is, you instantly make a flower blossom,
a seedpod open, or a leaf bud bloom.
Since I have the Seed of All Blossom,
isn't that something
that I could cast a spell on to make happen?
- You want to open it down in the Underworld?
- No, I think it would get to a point
where I have my souls or my people-
- I think that's something
you actually do know that you could do.
So I think it's about your timing, right?
It's about choosing what you think is the right moment
or the right circumstances which to do that, but yeah.
- They have a bunch of seeds.
- You have just one of the All Blossom.
- But if it blossoms, you have an All Blossom, which has-
- [Brennan] Theoretically more seeds.
- But if nothing blossoms down here,
then we can't attempt to do it here.
- You have magic, though. - Not down here.
- I don't know.
- But you want it to bloom when you restore your people.
- Where you want your kingdom to regrow.
- Maybe I want to be the Queen of the Underworld one day.
- Oh shit, Twyla.
- So, you enter the base of the Tower of Tombs.
You find a strange feeling come over all of you.
I'm going to need everyone here
to make a constitution saving throw.
- I would go to a live D&D reading. This is very exciting.
- [Brennan] Constitution saving throw. - Oh!
- What? What?
- 24. (tongue pop) - [Brennan] 24, incredible.
- 26. - [Brennan] 26.
- You just had to one up me, didn't you?
- I have a 21. - [Brennan] Incredible.
- [Monét] Blackjack.
- 16 plus 2, 18. - Werk!
- Incredible rolls across the board.
- We're doing so well with our rolls.
- You're doing so well with your rolls right now.
- Where was this when we were fighting the fucking demon?
- I know.
- You all walk in here and feel,
you all walk in and feel
just the wind moving indoors.
Then you realize, as the wind shifts directions,
its breath, the halls of this tower
filled with the raspy breaths
of the goddess that lives at its center.
- God, really? Jesus.
- And you can feel that the breath
wants to drink your life away.
As all of you steel yourselves, you've come so far.
You're able to resist. None of you take any damage.
But you can feel this is what Shalila talked about.
You have come to the center of the Underworld,
and even just the air itself here
is corrosive to the life force of living beings.
You will need to act quickly.
The hallways here are at such strange, odd angles.
It's not like hallways, a ceiling, and a floor.
It's a floor and then two angled points into a triangle,
and then they dip and tilt at angle
that you have to steady yourself walking through.
These halls are not made for the living.
They twist and move in strange staircases and inclines.
Some chambers open up, and you look around and realize
that the shape is unfamiliar,
until you realize that you're on the inside
of a chamber carved like a screaming face.
Everything about this place is sinister and morbid.
As you move through this space,
you find an area where you don't feel that wind anymore
off to sort of one side.
You hear movement throughout.
Most of the undead are still outside with Zaria's army,
but you've definitely heard some noises of movement
or a scrape on stone or something like that
that there might be other figures within here.
You know, Shalila works for the Goddess of Death.
She may have other servants.
But the tower certainly feels abandoned.
It's a lot more like a mausoleum here.
It's not packed with people.
As you get to the sort of little safe place
hidden within the tower, sort of having found a place
in the goddess's lair that you can hide for a moment,
you see Kerwyn kind of looks around at all of you
and basically asks, all right,
having made it all the way here,
there's a throne room of the goddess somewhere in here,
but I'm not sure how to get there, exactly.
Should we split up and search for it? Should we-
- Okay, you know what, I think this might be...
We're in a big place. It's huge.
- There's a big, larger chamber outside,
and you're in a smaller sort of antechamber off to the side.
- Got it, okay. - [Monét] Split up.
- I mean, divide and conquer might be-
- I think so. - The answer, kind of.
- Use that crystal ball.
- Oh! The crystal ball!
- Does that help see where we're going?
- Yeah, absolutely! - [Bob] Yeah!
- We did not look at our powers enough, you're right.
- [Bob] We have so many powers. - You're so right.
- Good suggestion, Alaska. What does scrying even mean?
- Those powers there, the main ability
that the card kind of glosses over
is that you have the ability to scry,
so you can look into the ball and see distances,
and especially here within the tower,
you could potentially see multiple locations.
You could move your sight through the tower
while just looking at the ball.
- Like a drone, almost. - Yeah, like a drone,
but without even having the ability to see a drone.
It's just your vision moving,
and there would be no trace of you.
- Okay, so let's use the crystal ball.
- Yeah, I want to use the crystal ball to look around,
because I feel like we should try to...
If there is someone here that's not her,
we should try to maybe take them out
or immobilize them or something before we get to her.
- So, you looking into the crystal ball,
all of you sort of gather around.
You see the crystal ball... (mimics magic pulsating)
Gertrude, your eyes filled with arcane light,
you first behold a sort of vision
of yourself and your friends looking in a crystal ball,
and can kind of see that mirrors looking into mirrors
of you looking at the crystal ball.
You see that you have the ability just through concentration
to move the sight throughout.
Where is Gertrude's first desire
in terms of what you are looking for within the tower?
- I'm looking for people along the lines of Shalila.
Other people, I'm not looking for her,
because I'm afraid to look at this lady because she fucking-
- She'll see you.
- She can see me through the magic,
so I'm trying to avoid her, and I'm trying to find
other people that we can take out, question,
knock out, disable, stuff like that.
- You start looking for, like,
where's someone that we can take out,
and hold on a second.
- It's a one. Are you rolling for the enemy?
- You begin to look for, and you see, yeah,
scattered throughout the tower, there are some servants.
There are a couple of those very frightening death knights,
the sort of hollow armor
just animated by their ancient spirits.
But you see there are some other servants.
There's a library where there's sort of a ghastly pale,
undead woman sort of moving through scrolls.
There's another place that seems to have someone
tending to these weird, draconic,
they're like dragon skeletons
that seem to be animated moving in a pit somewhere.
And you're like, no,
someone that you could just grab and beat the answer out of.
And you look not very far from here,
with a sort of cast iron spiked mop bucket
and an ancient mop, you see there is a rotting servant
with a familiar green jerkin.
Wallace is here.
- Wallace!
- When you killed Wallace,
where do people go when they die in the living world?
- Guess who's back in the house!
- Back crack.
- Yeah, back cracked by Princess.
You see Wallace just here shaking his head.
Mopping up again, piece of shit.
- If we can surround Wallace,
I bet as soon as we reveal ourselves,
he'll just tell us what we want to know.
He is terrified of us.
- He might be happy to see us.
- We'll find out. We know where he is?
- Yes. - Okay, so should we go?
- Let's go to Wallace. - We're still disguised.
He won't recognize us right away, because we're pulling
what he was trying to pull, but in reverse.
- So you guys roll up in your undead sort of things.
As you walk up, you see Wallace again.
He's got a hole in his cheek you can see
some of his teeth through, weird, pussing eye socket.
You see he looks around, only half a head of hair.
The rest just bone. - Drag me.
Only half a head of hair? Wow.
That happens to the living too, I just want to say.
- You see he looks out and says, no, no, come on!
I just mopped this hall! There's other hallways!
Don't you see the cones? Take another hallway around!
Has no idea who you are with your Wraith Clasps on.
- So in this moment, Gertrude grabs her Wraith Clasp
and looks at the other girls and is kind of like, should we?
Then she snatches it off.
- Don't break it! We might have to use it again.
- Yeah. - [Bob] Not breaking the clasp.
- Okay. - [Bob] Yeah.
She pulls it off, and then all of a sudden,
the arm grows back, the maggot crawls in, the skin goes up,
her makeup just comes up, crawls on her face.
- When I take my amulet off,
I kind of just spin around three times like Sailor Moon.
Moon Prism Power. Water Prism Power for me.
And a rainbow.
- And I transform. - Incredible.
- Yeah, same.
- Wallace beholds all of your stunning, beautiful,
almost Sailor Moon-like transformations
and just goes (shrieks)
and just turns and starts to run.
He's like, why did you follow me here?
Our business was done!
- Can I use an action? - Yeah, absolutely.
- So then Troyánn, I take my net and I whirl it.
I throw it at him, because my net,
this weapon deals no damage,
but restrains an opponent for a moment.
- [Brennan] Incredible, go ahead and give me an attack roll.
So you're just going to roll that
and add, I believe, plus 10.
- Okay.
9 plus 10, 19.
- You see Wallace (shrieks) and Troyánn, you-
- So I whirl it around and wheel it like a lasso
and I throw it around him like Wonder Woman.
It gets him, and I bring him closer to us.
- Just truly like catch of the day,
Wallace scoots up in the net.
Please, please, please, please, please!
- Then Gertrude goes, having a hard day?
- You killed me and I thought...
Why? You entered the Underworld and you-
- Have you ever had a dream when you-
- When you, when you...
Have you ever had a dream that turned into a nightmare,
and a bunch of women followed you
to the depths of the Underworld to kill you again?
- We're not here to hurt you!
- I actually am looking for some water, Wallace.
I'm a little thirsty. - Don't drink the water!
- Hard to find water down here.
- Don't drink the water down here.
- What do we want to know?
What do we want to know from Wallace?
- We want to know where the queen is.
- Where she is, what kind of mood she's in.
Does she need anything? - [Jujubee] How to speak to her.
- How do we sneak in there?
I want to know, would Wallace clean her quarters?
- I think Wallace can bring us there,
because Wallace knows the ins and outs of this place, right?
- Yeah, so we can tell him we won't rough him up
if he just takes us there, maybe?
Are we ready to go straight there?
- Wallace has been working here for four hours.
How does he know the lay of the land so well?
- When you die, I think you just know everything.
- Also, are we ready to go? I'm not ready to go see her yet.
We still have Hex outside.
We have the Inquisitor of the Light outside
trying to come for me.
- What information can we get from Wally?
- I don't know. I don't know. - Wally, what can you-
- Did you want to figure this out
before you caught me in a net?
You want to circle up and get on the same page?
I'm here mopping!
My afterlife is doing chores! That's what I do!
- Listen, we're figuring it out all together, Wallace, okay?
At least we didn't have Princess break your back this time.
- Right.
- Please don't do it again. (Alaska growls menacingly)
I'll tell you what you want to know.
What do you want to know? What do you want to know?
- Okay, what do we want to know?
- We're going to have to take on-
- Hex? - Hex.
- Inquisitor? - Inquisitor.
- Sun lady, Keena. - Yeah, Hex, Inquisitor.
So I think-
- We don't even know that Thanara wants to hurt us.
We know that Hex and the Inquisitor of the Sun
are gunning for us, me specifically.
One for me, one for you. - One for the two of them,
because I think Hex wants to finish the job.
- Hex is coming for both of you two.
The Inquisitor of the Sun's coming for me.
Your fucking cousin's outside.
- Yeah. That bitch owe me money.
- Is she the weakest of them all?
She's probably the weakest between Hex-
- Keena? - The Canolin Hook of Death?
- That's for killing merfolk. We're good.
- Right. - It may not kill you,
but it'll hurt you real bad.
- Remember when you was deciding who to get rid of?
- I remember you don't have health insurance.
You're going to gag.
- How about, where is Thanara? Just so we know.
- Yeah, what to avoid, if anything. Where is she?
- Wallace looks at you and says,
she is in her throne room right now.
She can rearrange the castle
to look like whatever she wants it to look like,
so she's made her throne room into sort of...
She's awaiting an audience with Zaria.
Zaria is an ancient necromancer, so Zaria's been here
many, many times before, but now Zaria's come here
with some other mortals for some business.
And there's another person that's been working with Zaria
that, I've never seen them,
but they had a deal,
a longstanding deal with Thanara as well.
The throne room, he says,
down that hall, all the way to the main chamber.
You'll see the colonnade.
At the end of the colonnade is the door to the throne room,
which she has prepared for some entertainment for herself.
- (whisper) Drag show! - What's she into?
Does she like the scary kind? Does she like fun?
- I think she'll take whatever she can get.
Fun and scary is usually the order of the day.
- Dragula.
- You see he says,
but that door can only,
if you do not have audience with her,
she's not going to just open her door to anyone
who goes knocking, and there's three locks on the door.
- Three locks? - Three.
- But Shalila, who should be back but isn't back yet.
You guys remember that she had
other business to attend to in the desert.
I can tell you, you know, I need to let myself in sometimes,
because, you know, after,
it gets pretty bloody in there and everything like that.
- I think I know what kind of entertainment she's into.
- [Brennan] But I need to let myself in to clean up,
so I know where the keys are.
- Okay, I think we need to get the keys.
- We'll have to get the keys.
- You see he says, all right, well, you better move fast,
because her audience with Zaria is soon.
One key is in the Pool of Morning Light.
The other one is in the Pit of Suffering,
and then the third one is in-
- It's giving split up! Oh god.
- Is in the Hall of Fairy Tapestry.
- Aw, fairies.
- Twyla, you should go to the fairy tapestry,
and I should go with you because I protect you.
- Okay.
- I'm going to the pool, obviously.
- Yeah, that makes sense. - Because you like to swim.
- Yeah.
- So I'm going to the Pit of Suffering?
- Well! - Because I'm sad?
- Well! - Okay, okay.
Who's Kerwyn going with?
- Kerwyn looks at you and says,
if there's two of you going to fairy tapestry,
I should go with one of the ones that's going with one,
and respectfully, Gertrude,
I think the Pool of Morning Light is a little more my speed
than the Pit of Suffering, so I'm going to let you
but you have- - Fuck Gertrude's drag.
- You got a curse on you. You know, the goddess and such.
- That is true.
- So Troyánn, I will accompany you.
- All right, Kerwy. Let's go.
- Okay, not me going...
So I'm going by myself.
- This is what you love, you little loner. You love this.
- My heart is changing.
- You see Wallace goes, you can take me. Take me.
- Oh, you can take Wallace!
- All right, Wallace. I'll take you.
All right, let's go.
- All right. Can I be let out of the net?
- I'm not the one with the net.
- Sure.
- Don't try to run! - Don't run!
- All right, I'm not going to run. I'm not going to run.
I'll go with you. So Wallace is going to-
- What was that, Monét?
- Sit your ass down.
- [Brennan] Incredible.
So we'll go one by one through here.
So, you all split up.
The crystal ball shows you where to go
in each of these places.
The first place we arrive at
is going to be the Pool of Morning Light.
- Monét, you got this. - Okay.
- I'm rooting for you. - It got so aquatic in here.
- What a coincidence. - You and Kerwyn both arrive.
- Yes.
- And you see that you're in a chamber
that actually fades from black stone to white.
It's like a sort of bathhouse marble. There's beautiful-
- I'm in my element.
- You see that there are these beautiful caryatids,
these columns carved as robed women who hold the ceiling up
with their hands, and their feet touch the ground,
sort of like carven statues
that actually hold the room, hold the ceiling aloft.
Deep pools, and you come to a pool that ripples
from a central point as the circles emanate out
and hit the rim of the pool and emanate back in,
and it creates this shimmer
so that you can't see into the depths,
but it just has this light emanating out from its source.
As you look down, you can sense
there's a glimmer somewhere in the water.
It's so distorted because of all the rippling,
but you can see a glimmer as if something metallic,
like a key at the bottom of this pool.
But looking down there,
you also sense that this will be very similar
to the water of the River of Sorrow,
that there may be confronting some things down there.
Kerwyn looks down into the water as well,
and you see as he approaches, you see a voice says,
(echoing) You will not approach the sacred water
of the Pool of Morning Light
dressed as you are in garb
that bears the dust of the outside world.
See yourself purified if you dare to touch these waters.
You see Kerwyn kind of looks around,
seems a little bit nervous,
starts to take his shoes off and shrugs.
Troyánn, what do you do, looking down at that pool?
- I mean, I know I definitely want to change.
I want to disrobe. - [Brennan] Yeah, yeah.
- Ooh! (ding)
- Nudity.
- I'm going to get undressed
into my natural birthday mermaid suit state.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
- Not the DungeonFans.
- We're going to the dungeon tonight, okay?
Dungeon after dark. So, I am now nude.
But I don't have Gerty here to cast a spell
to shield me from the dangers of this water.
- No.
- Can you use an arrow or a net or a spear?
- There's nothing to kill. - To grab it out of the water?
- We can talk, but we can't do anything.
- Yeah, you can talk above the table.
- So we're assuming the key is in the water.
- The key's in the water.
- It's at the bottom of the pool.
- You don't have a rope?
- I do have my net so, I mean, can I...
Now I'm just naked because I want to be,
because I may not have to go in the water,
but I feel more comfortable this way.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- So can I put my net onto one of my...
Oh, my seeking arrow.
- [Brennan] Yes. - Ooh!
- Monét's going to find out afterwards,
oh, I had a thing just says just grab the key.
I had a grab the key spell.
I had a key teleport to my hand spell, oh god.
- On page two. - I take my seeking arrow.
I see the glimmering, so I take my seeking arrow
and shoot it into the water
so I know exactly where the key is.
- [Brennan] Yes.
- Then I can dive in and get it
and come back up as soon as...
Is that the plan? - [Brennan] I love that plan.
- Okay. - So you fire your arrow.
Bam, hits the key at the center.
You know exactly where it is.
You can hear and echolocate it.
You're going to dive in.
I'm going to need a wisdom saving throw
as you dive into the water. - Wisdom saving throw, okay.
I have an eight.
- You dive in. - Okay, so I-
- This fish is gonna die.
- So I climb up to this perch over the water.
- You dive in.
- I take my arrow, I see it, and then I go
and I do get on top of this perch, stand up,
and do Lara Croft-esque dive into the water
and I go, I'm swimming, swimming, swimming,
and I only have eight, so I-
- As you go deeper into the water, you just begin to see
the faces of all the people
you've hunted for your mother.
Do you regret? Do you regret?
Do you regret now? Do you regret now?
Swimming, swimming deeper, swimming deeper,
and you begin to become almost surrounded by them,
and you hear a tremendous splash.
As you are being gripped by spirits on all sides,
Kerwyn leaps into the water, grabs you,
and pulls you back, up to the water.
You see he's disrobed now as well.
He puts you back up on the lip of the water
and goes, it's all right, it's all right.
You found it with your arrow.
Those faces, I do not know if you will make it
out of this castle without reckoning with them,
but for now, let me try and get the key.
And he swims down.
As Kerwyn swims down,
we're going to move to another scene quickly,
but as we're about to leave partway through, Troyánn,
I think on that eight, you feel like definitely
you were not able to resist those spirits.
How is Troyánn feeling surrounded by those spirits?
- I'm feeling really down.
I think I see why my father did what he did,
and now I have this urge to reconcile
with these spirits as well, now that I'm down here.
- Yeah, so you're there.
We are going to move now to the Pit of Suffering.
- That's not what I wanted you to say.
Okay, we're in the Pit of Suffering.
- [Brennan] In the Pit of Suffering.
- Me and Wallace. Me and Wallace.
- Gertrude, you enter a chamber
with a circular chasm
that drops forever.
You see that there are stalactites,
these sort of hanging cave spikes up ahead.
Water falls from them
and drops into the hole soundlessly.
- Never hear a splash. Okay, it goes on forever.
- It's an abyss.
- [Bob] The Pit of Sorrows. Or Suffering.
That's the pit.
- [Brennan] Looking into it- - How close do I get?
- You don't have to go close if you don't want.
You see Wallace looks at you and says,
well, do you think the key's in there?
- Oh god, it's in there?
Okay.
Okay, oh!
No. Light...
No.
Lightning Lure...
No.
- What about a flash of light,
and see if it reflects, you know?
- Maybe.
I don't know if it's at the bottom
or if it's attached to the wall.
I don't know where it is in there.
- Couldn't you just use your crystal ball to look for it?
- I could, yeah, maybe.
Okay, so I'm going to use my crystal ball
and kind of search down there.
- Go ahead and give me an investigation check.
- So my investigation is a plus four.
And I rolled a six.
Wait, yeah.
- Six plus four. - Six plus four is 10.
- As the crystal ball goes to search,
you wonder if the bottomlessness of this
is itself a sort of magical effect.
As you gaze into it, you know the key must be down there.
I'm going to ask for a charisma saving throw.
- Okay, my charisma is a plus eight.
- [Brennan] Plus eight. - Oh, so charismatic.
- I just rolled a 13. - [Brennan] Okay.
- 21. - [Brennan] Hell yes.
Looking down,
you look into it,
and you hear a voice in your mind.
What are you coming to wish for, Gertrude?
You don't think I know who skulks around my lair?
- Is this- - You hear the voice
of Thanara speaking in your head.
- Oh!
- Okay, she knows I'm here. She knows we're all here.
- Why? She only knows you.
- She said, you think I don't know who lurks in my lair?
We're all lurking around.
- She was talking about you. - I think magically-
- Yeah, she's talking about you.
- Okay, that's a bold assumption of y'all.
- Why are we in it? Why are we in it?
- To quote NeNe Leakes, now how'd I get in it?
- For real.
- [Bob] I know for a fact that she knows I'm here.
- Yeah! - She knows you.
- Okay, I'm going to communicate with her.
I'm going to communicate with her. - Are you?
- I have a curse on me.
And I want to live a natural life.
I want to be able to live my life.
I'll come down here when it's my time,
but I don't think it's my time right now.
I want the curse lifted.
- Not so lightly
are my gifts thrown aside.
Did you never wonder
who gave you that curse in the first place?
- I did. Was it you?
- And you have come to give it back.
I think...
And you feel a beating in your heart.
However powerful this goddess is,
she is either not so powerful or not so willing
to strike you down dead where you are,
and is there not some secret magic to life itself
to be able to resist death?
Feeling that heartbeat, you look in the crystal ball
and see a beating light approaching,
and rising up from the pit
as Thanara's voice leaves, having shared with you,
you see the face of a man that you've seen before in memory,
but now pale, translucent, and ghostly.
A beautiful elven man
rises out of the pit
with a key in his hand as shadows pull at his legs
to drag him back, and he says-
- I'm going to just dash over there, grab the key.
She's very nervous, so she grabs it
and she falls back into the corner.
She's holding the key and she's freaking out.
She's shaking and freaking out.
- He smiles and goes,
take care of my girl!
And disappears back into the pit.
- Oh my god!
- [Brennan] And we are going to cut from there-
- I knew I should've went to the pit.
I knew I should've went to the pit!
- I feel like at that point Gertrude looks over at Wallace
and goes, are you fucking kidding me?
- We leave the Pit of Suffering where we see,
as Roy of Karkyn vanishes once more,
having given you the key of this chamber,
Twyla, Princess, you move swiftly,
having followed the path pointed out to you
from Gertrude's crystal ball, and you arrive at a chamber.
You see that there's actually a pouring waterfall,
a very thin sheen of water falling in front of an archway.
The water is thin enough that you can see through and see,
(sound of a running waterfall)
it's hard to believe, it's almost like you forget sunlight.
You've been in the Underworld for so long at this point.
You look through the chamber and see light,
and for the first time in a long time, green.
The look of growing,
something vibrant and alive on the other side of this water.
But you see that the waterfall
is shimmering down in this place.
It looks like you would have to either step through it
to get to the chamber on the other side.
Doesn't seem to be dangerous at all.
Just seems to be a little sheet of water.
But is there anything you do as you approach?
- It doesn't seem to be dangerous.
- Can't you turn into something?
You're turning into objects all the time.
- I can turn into anything I want, but I feel...
An umbrella, so you can hold it and walk through it.
- Okay, okay, can we do that?
- That's cute, with the tutu and the scrunchie.
Oh my god, that's adorable.
- Umbrella.
You pop your umbrella over your shoulder,
and as you step through,
go ahead and give me perception checks, both of you.
- [Both] You want to check your perception
before you come for me!
- Check your perception before you come for me. Ridiculous.
- Five. - 21.
- (shrieks) I'm screaming. - 12.
- You're dead. No.
- 12.
- You move through as the umbrella... - Just water.
As you step through, Princess,
you hear voices as you step through the water
going into this next chamber, saying,
Princess, Princess, Princess,
Princess, Princess, Princess, Princess!
I'm so glad to see you.
The voices fade. You've stepped through the other side.
You can't see anyone in this room, but looking throughout,
you do indeed see massive green tapestries,
forests, fields, meadows, babbling streams.
You see the embroidery of a unicorn
sipping at an ancient pool.
You see rocks covered in stones.
You see birds of many colors flying
and breaks between the leaves in a cloud-filled sky,
and in the center of the chamber,
in front of a massive tapestry,
you see that there is a simple polished wood table
with a golden key on top.
- Someone got the easy one.
- Seems too easy. - [Jujubee] It seems too easy.
- Right.
- And there's two of us, right?
- Okay.
- You're the strong one. I'm the magical one.
- Do you want me to do it?
- I feel like as soon as you grab it, you can give it to me.
I can go invisible, and no one will see we have the key.
- Right, because when you're invisible items can turn invisible.
- Right, if I'm carrying it.
And if you'd like, I can give you a piggyback
and you'll be invisible too, right?
- Is that a threat?
- I'm going to need a DC 20 strength check
to see if you can lift Princess.
- You don't think Twyla,
with all this baggage, can lift Princess?
- [Brennan] Let's find out. - We're going to find out.
- We're going to find out, baby! Now what do I...
Tell me what to do so I can-
- So you're going to go ahead and roll,
and you're going to add your strength modifier.
- Okay, so what I'm going to do is,
I'm going to go ahead and roll,
and I'm going to add my strength modifier.
- [Brennan] Which is plus what? - Plus one. Werk.
- Plus one? - [Brennan] Plus one.
Your strength is a plus one. - [Jujubee] Why would you do that?
- Well, as you've famously said-
- You chose to be a 4 foot 11 fairy!
You remember when we were choosing?
You wanted to be tiny and petite?
- Fine! - You have a 1 in 10 chance.
- What did Aladdin say?
You wanted to be all-powerful,
and everything that comes along with it.
- There's a 10% chance, 1 in 10. That's really low.
- But it's not nothing. - We're just checking.
- Okay, well- - So we can figure out a plan.
- We've definitely been in more tense situations than this.
- [Brennan] Can Twyla pick up Princess? - I believe in you.
- Everybody.
- One, two three, 20! - Five.
- 15. - Monét, you're so shady.
- 16. - [Brennan] 16.
So you get under Princess, and you get low.
(Jujubee grunting)
- [Jujubee] Oh my god!
- Put me down! Put me down!
- It's fine, Princess!
- [Brennan] You hear a voice go,
Twyla?
- Yes?
- You look up.
The tapestry above the table with the key,
green vines move
almost in the shape of a bell, shifting,
and the tapestry begins to move, the threads re-weaving
as the magic of the tapestry comes to life,
and you see the bell shape is not a bell at all.
It's the curves of a robe, of a cloak,
and the cloak opens from deep forest green to a rich mint,
a cream, and a face appears,
rich, deep brown earth with eyes like golden fire.
You see Titania,
queen of the fairies.
- Oh my god.
- Golden tears stream from her eyes.
She's not here as you truly remember her.
You realize that she is bound and captured
within the threads of this tapestry.
- Golden tears, sad but rich.
- Huge sad but rich vibes
are sort of, you know, she's still a queen.
Twyla?
- Yes, Titania?
That's how I say your name, right?
- It could be Queen Titania,
but no, I feel just Titania's fine.
- Okay, let's start over.
- No, it's fine. No, I kind of like it, actually.
- Queen T.
QT.
Cutie? Cutie!
- I love QT. Wow. - QT, it's me.
I haven't seen you in such a long time.
- Do I now dream, or do you yet live?
- What? - Bitch, are you alive?
- Yes, you're alive. - [Brennan] Are you alive?
- Am I allowed to tell you whether or not I'm alive?
- Yeah, she's your queen. She's okay.
- Oh yeah, you're my queen! I'm alive!
I'm here to save our people.
- Then there is still hope.
- What do I have to do?
- There is a charm
upon the key in front of you.
Hopefully you can resist it.
Lifting it will cause you to be charmed
by the Queen of the Underworld,
not able to lift a finger against her.
But it is possible, I suppose,
if I can try to help you resist that effect.
But if you are looking indeed
for the key here to her chambers, when...
When Arcadia fell,
when our realm and our people fell, Zaria brought me here
as a gift to the Queen of the Underworld.
I have been here.
But thankfully,
there was time.
A Seed of the All Blossom escaped somewhere,
if it can be found or if there is any hope for it.
But there is still a seed left alive of the All Blossom,
a chance to restore our world.
- And what do we do with this seed when we find it?
- Beats me. I mean, you gotta, you know.
- Oh, you don't know?
- I would hope you plant it. That's my best guess.
- That's what you do with seeds.
That makes sense. You plant seeds.
- That is the best and only hope for our world.
- But where do I plant it?
Not here.
- As long as Thanara reigns upon her throne,
nothing living will grow in this Underworld.
- But there's light down here.
- Well, there is light here,
but only because of the spirits of the waterfall.
You see she looks at you and says, indeed,
even my ability to help you with this challenge
would not be so, but some very powerful spirits
moved to this chamber long ago.
They live within the waterfall
and have guarded these tapestries-
- Can I summon a beast? - Sure, absolutely.
- Is this when I can do it? - Yeah, absolutely.
- All right, Twyla gets into her snatch-el,
pulls out a piece of candy,
puts it in her mouth, because she's hungry,
and then she summons a beast to come help.
- You summon a beast, and you see that the vines
move throughout this space, the vines in the tapestry,
and even though they are made of thread,
with your pure fairy magic,
blossoms flowing from your outstretched hand,
cat tree bursts- - He's back!
- It's my baby! - Your baby.
- My Buddy Bear.
- Nuzzles up against you, moves through the space,
and you see this being, a spirit,
being neither living nor dead, bypasses the test,
walks up to the table,
and like all cats always do, goes up and goes...
- Pss, pss, pss! Come here, baby!
Good boy!
- Thwap, and the key falls to the ground,
clatters before you, and you see the spell breaks.
- Werk!
- I go to the key and I grab it.
- You pick it up, you found the clever workaround
for getting around the spell,
and you see Titania looks at you and says, you've done it!
A key to seek audience with Thanara!
I know that you have come here
with companions of some kind, Twyla.
I wish you all the luck and fortune you can.
I am safe, for the moment, here.
If you find some way to gather a boon
from the Goddess of the Underworld,
I may well be released from here.
But you may also leave this place.
I am safe here.
You are a brave soldier.
You have served so long by yourself.
- [Jujubee] Thank you.
- I see now that the bravery of fairy
has never vanished from this world.
It has lived within you. - Aw.
- You see she smiles and says, that's a very good cat.
(purrs) Cat tree perks up.
She looks and says,
and she looks at you, Princess, and goes,
have you...
Are you one of the spirits of the waterfall?
(Alaska grunts)
You look just like them. (Alaska grunts quizzically)
- (whisper) It's your family! Is that your family?
- Yeah. - Wait a minute!
So your family and my family were together this whole time?
- Mm-hm!
- Wait, how do we...
Okay, so what do we do now? I have the key.
- You have the key. - I have the key.
- That's all you need. - What are we doing with her?
Are we just now going back to open the door now?
- Yeah, I mean, you walk towards the waterfall,
towards the exit, and you see from this side,
you see your reflections in the waterfall,
and you see other shapes begin to emerge in the water.
You see, in fine clothes,
black velvet and gold filigree
with powerful axes and swords,
massive tusks and beaming smiles,
as tears streak down their faces, your father, your mother,
your brother and sister step forward.
That's my little girl!
Waves to you.
We are so very proud.
Have you been all right?
Have you been sleeping and getting rest and eating?
(Alaska grunts affirmatively)
Very good, and I hope that you haven't had to resort
to anything menial like a job or anything, right?
(Alaska grunts deceptively)
You haven't been working?
You've stayed a member of the nobility?
(Alaska grunting dubiously)
Very, very good.
- It's not work if you love what you're doing.
- You see your mother and father looks and says,
we have missed so very, very much.
Who's your friend here? It's lovely to meet you.
- I'm Twyla. I'm a fey.
- Thank you for helping our daughter.
When we arrived here in the Underworld
we, with our pure might, battered into the earth itself
and found deep water running within the land
that we would escape the ire
of the Goddess of the Underworld.
We, knowing not how to escape to the world of the living,
no member of our family
has even gotten close to the world of the living.
We chose to protect what good we could find,
and this light, your queen in the room behind us,
we chose to keep this place safe.
Have you been journeying safe?
Have you met any other companions along the way?
(Alaska grunts affirmatively)
Oh, who?
(Alaska grunts affectionately)
Just Twyla?
- Yeah, we know this woman named Troyánn.
She's fine.
And then we know this really lonely woman
who's now opened up, and she's really gorgeous and strong.
I forget her name. - It's Gertrude.
- It's Gertrude, but I call her Ger.
- Princess, why did you come to the Underworld?
- To bring you back to life.
- Did you ever discover who was responsible for our death?
- Zaria Hex.
- You see they look at each other,
confused for a moment.
You see your mother and father look at each other.
Your father says, my darling, that's not possible.
- What?
- Zaria Hex was in the fey realms
at the time that we were all massacred.
- What?
- Maybe the Inquisitor of the Morning Sun did it?
- Who told you that we were...
Who told you that we were killed by Zaria Hex?
- Who told us that?
- Just a guess. - [Bob] We kind of assumed.
- Well, no, your uncle Kerwyn told you that.
(Bob gasps)
- Oh!
- Is he fake?
- As she's with Kerwyn! - Where is he now?
- I'm with Kerwyn right now. - (shrieks) Wait!
- Who told you? - Uncle Kerwyn.
- Uncle Kerwyn! You've met him!
We knew that he survived! He did not die!
(Alaska grunts in shock) - [Jujubee] Oh my gosh.
- We cut back to the Pool of Morning Light.
- Is he wearing a fake thing?
- I don't know what! He's with her!
- Why Kerwyn gotta be like that?
- Princess, as you stand there,
you begin to flash back in your mind,
the different things that people told you.
Someone said there was another.
There was another they were working with
that was giving them advice, moving through the Underworld.
How did the two get here? Troyánn.
- I'm out of the pool, still naked, nude.
- Nude. - Nude.
- Nude and rude. - With a scary stranger.
- He's also naked and nude.
- You look over and see
Kerwyn's clothes by the side of the pool,
and you see a Wraith Clasp on his clothing.
- Who the fuck is this? - And it's red, isn't it?
- Oh no. - No, because he's alive.
- It's white. It is milky white.
And give me one more perception check with advantage.
- Who the fuck?
- [Bob] We can't help because we're not there.
- You can't. I get to roll twice.
I won't tell you what the first one is.
- Okay. - [Jujubee] Shady-ass family members.
- You saw it, though.
- These two over here, they got shady-ass family members.
- 15, and I got a 9, so I'm going to take the 15.
- [Brennan] Okay, 15 plus?
- You have a perception to add.
- 7. - [Brennan] 22.
- 22.
- You see that Wraith Clasp for a second,
and then you see that there is something
poking out of a pocket of his jacket.
You see it looks like a small little,
fine little paper thing, almost like a little book.
- As he's over there drying himself off, can I take it?
- You take it and you open it.
It's not a book like writing.
It's a book of matches,
and you smell the powerful scent of cedar.
- Oh my gosh! - No!
- [Bob] Girl, get out of there! - Why you gotta do all this?
- Get out of there, girl! Uncle Kerwyn is still alive!
He just didn't talk to the family no more, girl!
- Oh girl, he wants to take over that kingdom, girl!
- I said, I smell insurance fraud when I told you
on Episode one!
- You know what, I think she was right.
You should've listened to her. We should've came after him!
- What are you going to do?
- Troyánn, you hear behind you
the thunk of a chain hitting the ground.
Well, well, well.
If it isn't Cousin Troyánn!
- By herself! Can we get a-
- Is this Keena? - [Brennan] This is Keena.
- This is Keke! Keke found me, girl!
- You know why? Because your uncle told that bitch.
- You see that Keena looks across at you and goes,
so funny to find you here with your pants down,
but it doesn't have to go much farther, cousin.
It was really a stroke of good luck
to be able to hear those very first plans of yours.
- She knows everything we're doing!
- You hear a splash as Kerwyn gets up
out of the other side of the pool holding the other key,
and you see you are now in the room with Kerwyn,
so you know something's wrong with Kerwyn
because you have that book of matches.
You see the clasp.
He gets up and starts stretching, looks over at Keena
and says, now fully alive, goes, hello, Keena.
- So the uncle is fucked! He's fucked!
You're with two!
You're with the fucked uncle and your cousin!
- You see Keena says, you're always so lucky.
To be made the assassin of Everdeep,
born with those legs, of the land and of the sea.
Me, I have this amulet which, I'm sure you know,
I have to be in a body of water every 12 hours.
So it's a pretty good thing that you and your friends
had that first strategy meeting right outside my well.
- No!
Wallace?
Is this my fault because I was thirsty?
- Yes. - Oh my gosh.
- Your uncle's a traitor! I'm still shook.
- A traitor, the whole family. Y'all's family's fucked!
- You see Kerwyn walk around, sort of cracks the muscles
in his neck and says, Keena, got one of the keys here.
We need the other two.
And he begins to put his clothes back on again,
smiles and says, sorry for the deception, Troyánn.
You have to understand,
when I made a deal to wield the power of death
if I put every last Foehammer but me
in the Underworld,
I just didn't get my hands on Princess fast enough.
- Oh? - My Princess?
- Oh, she's all our Princess, Troyánn.
Now, there's two of us here and one of you.
Nothing bad needs to happen now.
Why don't you just surrender, let us go
and take care of Princess, and all will be well?
You can return to the world of the living.
You need not risk your life on her behalf.
- As he's saying this, I'm stepping back.
I'm walking back slowly to where my things are.
I'm like, you might like that, Kerwyn.
But I would rather risk my life to save my friends.
- Jesus! - Than let you take Princess.
I'm reaching back to my longbow.
- Incredible, I'm going to say it's two on one right now,
but go ahead and roll initiative.
- You want to fake surrender
until you get around your friends?
You don't want to try that strategy?
- I love it, I love it. Here we go.
- We was trying to telepathically message you over here.
- Okay, well I hope you do something loud
so we can hear it and rush to help you!
- Okay, Kerwyn- - Can I have help?
- We're not in the same room as you!
- [Brennan] Unfortunately you can't have any help right now.
- We don't even know this is happening!
- But they both rolled very low for initiative,
so it's possible you'll be able to beat them.
- We don't even know- - 10.
- Okay, plus? - Plus initiative?
Kerwyn got the higher with 12. What did you get?
- 5, so I have 15. - [Brennan] 15. You are first to act.
- Okay. - Okay, I'm first to act.
- [Brennan] First to act. - Wait, wait, wait.
- What are you going to do? - Do you have a magic-?
- One of these new items. - [Jujubee] There are some that's super strong.
- Oh yeah, you have new stuff!
- My Javelin of Lightning, okay.
- I'll ask here, too, what Troyann's plan is,
knowing there are two of them in the room
and you have none of your allies with you.
What is Troyánn trying to do in this moment?
- Troyánn, I'm trying to at least stun them.
- [Brennan] Okay. - So I can escape
and tell them what's going on, because they don't want...
If I surrender to them, they're going to either unalive me
or send me back, and they won't know what's going on,
so I want to let them know.
- Okay, amazing. You're going to act first.
To give you the lay of the land again,
give me one last perception with advantage.
- Perception with advantage. - [Brennan] Yes.
- The adrenaline's kicking in, she gets the advantage.
- Okay, six.
- [Brennan] Six. Roll again, take the higher of the two. - Do we say it?
- [Bob] Do we say it? - One, two, three, 20!
- And a 10. - Okay, a 10.
- But then you can add- - And I have 7. 17.
- 17, so 17, Keena's between you and the door.
She's about 20 feet away from you,
but she has this chain weapon
that gives her extra reach, right?
She's in between you and the door.
Kerwyn is very close to you, because you were by his clothes
to begin with, and he's come back over to get his equipment.
Looking at that, Kerwyn also is holding the key in his hand.
Now, that's all for free. You would get that on 10.
On a 17,
there's only one doorway,
but this room is filled with water,
and that water is being pumped in here from all over.
You see that there are pools, there are fountains,
and I think that there's a possibility,
as you're looking around, that some of these
sort of aqueducts bringing water in are pretty large.
- Uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh. - [Brennan] So it's- Yes.
- So I want to use two spells. - Okay.
- I want to use... (stammering)
- Prestidigitation. - Uh-huh.
To perform a magical trick or illusion.
Avatar: The Last Airbender, Katara,
I'm going to take all of this water that's pumping in here
and I'm going to freeze it in the air
to make icicles, right? - [Brennan] Okay.
- Then I'm going to enact my Gust of Wind and use that wind
to pummel at Uncle Kerwyn and Keke and stun them.
- Okay, copy that. - And get the key.
- Them icicles couldn't just stab the fuck out of them?
- [Brennan] So, Prestidigitation's a great spell.
- Minor magical trick. - Yeah, minor magical trick.
So this is not going to do hit point damage to them,
but it may stun and distract them momentarily
for you to be able to grab the key and get out of here.
It's going to be like a leap of faith,
just diving into one of these pipes
or diving into the water to try to find some way out.
What we're going to do is we're going to make it a roll.
This is going to be...
I'm going to say that you're using the trickery,
but it's still your kind of finesse in doing so,
so you may use either athletics or acrobatics, your choice.
- Athletics? I'm going to do acrobatics.
- Okay, you'll do acrobatics,
and you're going to distract them.
If you are able to beat, I'll say, a 15 on your acrobatics,
you will be able to stun them both and get the key.
If you go under a 15 but still beat a 10,
you will maybe still be able to get the key,
but Kerwyn may be able to get an attack on you
as you are doing so. - Okay.
- So let's roll and determine,
and I think actually this is so important
that we're going to do this Box of Doom.
- Okay.
- No whammies, no whammies, no whammies.
- So 10, if we can't get a 10, the spell fails completely.
Higher than 10, you succeed, but maybe a grave injury.
Higher than 15, the spell works completely and you escape.
- We're going to get a 17.
- What's your plus? You're plus eight?
- My plus is plus eight. - We're about to get a 17.
- One, two, three! - [Cast] 20!
- [Brennan] Three plus eight still beats a 10.
- 11, yes. - Okay, you get to 11.
So, I'm going to keep it rolling right in the Box of Doom.
- You're about to get hit or something.
- Fuck.
- Is this Uncle Kerwyn's roll?
- [Brennan] This is Uncle Kerwyn's roll.
- Girl, you better slap Vaseline on that face,
because you're about to get punched!
- Okay.
- We've seen how them orc punches be.
- They be breaking backs and shit.
- You remember the goblin?
- You want this, this is Kerwyn's attack roll.
Kerwyn does quite a bit of damage when he hits.
You want this to be an eight or lower.
- [Jujubee] It's going to be a two, baby.
(Monét shrieks)
- Oh my god! - What'd he get?
- Oh my god! - [Brennan] 17.
- 17?
- She's about to get fucked up.
- Oh my god!
- [Bob] You're about to get hit, bitch.
- It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
You have a lot of hit points. - Next time we see you,
you're going to be looking busted up!
- You have lots of hit points.
- Oh my god! - It's okay.
- [Jujubee] I got a question. - [Brennan] Mm-hm?
- Since I can help heal and stuff, would that be helpful-
- With what's about to happen?
- [Jujubee] Yeah. - For sure.
- With the injuries? - [Brennan] Yes, 100%.
- Injured? Call me, I'm Twyla!
- I also have a potion of healing, too, I can use.
- Oh, you do. That's true, that's true.
You should've had two of them, remember?
- Okay, take a deep breath.
You're getting beat up over here.
- Y'all, give her your potions.
- You have two. I need one of yours when we see each other.
- You, ice. Keena fully flies back.
But you see Kerwyn turns to look,
and the same thing you've seen in Princess's eyes, rage.
- Rage, god. - Rage.
- He just lets ice shred the side of his face.
You snatch the key out of his hand.
He grabs his sword, going, no!
You take 28 points of damage.
- What?
- How many do you have to spare?
- I have 21 points left.
- Are you dead? Oh, you have 21 left.
- So you have 32, so Gertrude would have
four hit points left after that attack.
- I have 21 left. - You've got 21, okay.
- [Bob] How many points do you have altogether?
- I have 49. - Bitch, you just got hit.
- So the ice slashes his face,
and then he does that rage thing, I snatch the key,
and then he takes the sword to
slash me right across my front here.
- [Brennan] Yes.
- The biggest slice I've ever been sliced.
- You feel two ribs fracture, and as you do,
you manage to dive into one of the fountains.
- As I do, I pick up my clothes, too, because I need those.
- Yes. - I'm still naked.
- Modesty's important at this moment.
- I'm going to say, as you are hearing this,
in the Hall of Fairy Tapestry,
you are both having this sudden realization.
Gertrude and Wallace come from around a corner,
knowing to come meet you here in this more central location.
- We're just walking. We're just like, we got the key!
- Wallace is like, I think that went really well.
- Yeah, that was really good. - [Brennan] That was really good.
And I think in this moment, the waterfall,
you begin to see blood,
red blood coming through the water.
- Oh no.
- The spirits of your family move back,
and in the pool that collects underneath,
you see from up above one of these dragon-headed fountains,
a badly injured Troyánn. - [Monét] It spits me up.
- Yeah.
- I come through the fountain and I fall. I'm like, ah!
- Girl, you okay?
- I was attacked!
- Can you do something?
- I do a healing. I'm going to cure your wounds!
And I do this. (magic humming)
Did you get that? Are you healed?
- My ribs! They feel better! - Heal, bitch. Heal.
- I still have some pain. How much am I healed?
- That's a good question.
- Bitch, I healed the whole thing, bitch. You got it back.
- Is that how it works? I don't think it works like that.
- Oh, I gotta roll!
- You're going to do some rolls here.
You can cast these up, but I actually recommend
using your lower level spell slots.
It might take a couple castings.
Go ahead and you're going to take your d8
and you're going to add four each time.
- Wait, am I here too? - You're here as well.
- We're all back, okay.
- You also do have those potions.
- I do. - But you might not want to use them right now.
- Two.
- So that heals six hit points.
You could probably cast it
another one or two times and heal most of the damage.
- Is there something that I could do
to make that stronger, or no?
- I think he's telling you what to do.
- No, you can cast it with a higher level spell slot,
if you want, if you want to use a more powerful magic.
- It takes away- - Yeah, use the little.
Just give me the small, baby.
- [Brennan] So you healed six on the first one.
- Seven. - Plus four is 11.
So that second one heals 11 points.
- So I got 6 plus 11 is 17.
- 17, and you could do another one
if you want, yeah, absolutely.
- How much do we need now to get perfect health?
What's that?
- I got 28, so I need 11 more. - [Brennan] 11 more.
- I don't know if I'm gonna get that, baby.
- [Monét] That's okay, whatever you got.
- But we're gonna get this one.
Well, that didn't count, because it fell out of the box.
- [Brennan] Okay, let's reroll. - Is that how that works?
- [Brennan] That's a reroll. We can reroll that.
- Yes, that's how it works.
- We'll be nice. We'll be nice.
- We don't need another...
- Watch this, seven. Okay. - Three.
- Three plus four, so another seven healed to you.
Troyánn should have 45 hit points.
Normally you have 49,
so you're only four hit points down right now.
- She has more hit points than I do now.
- She's strong. She's a warrior.
- I'm an assassin.
- You're so proud of your illegal job.
You're a damn criminal.
- So, all of you are here by the side of the pool together.
Powerful fairy magic heals Troyánn.
The ringing of your family's voices,
of this incredible betrayal-
- I should tell you, your uncle Kerwyn, he did this to me.
- Wait, what?
- Yes, I went to get the key at the bottom of the water,
and Kerwyn helped me.
He went to go get it, because I was not strong enough,
and as he came back out, I turned around,
and Keke was behind me, my cousin.
- Where'd she come from?
- [Monét] We saw her. I think she was outside.
- Jesus.
- Keke was just waiting for her.
- And she was waiting for me at the door
while Kerwyn is in cahoots with her,
and he would not give me the key,
and he was going to come and kill Princess.
- So he's still probably coming for her.
- [Monét] He's on his way here now. - So who has a key?
I have a key.
- I have the key. I got it on the way out.
You guys, did you all get the key?
- Surprise!
- Wallace, we have to get to this chamber before they do.
Now they're coming for you.
I got the Inquisitor coming for me.
- Give me the keys. I'll hide them.
I'll go and I'll unlock the chamber.
- We're all going. - Oh, okay.
- You want to go to the chamber by yourself?
- I can be invisible, bitch! - Wallace looks at you
and says, all right, we're all in it together.
We've come too far now to turn back.
- Wallace, you're really enthusiastic.
- Wallace, you're getting invited to game night.
I'll tell you that right now. That's what's happening here.
- Before we leave, do you guys mind if I get dressed?
- Yes, please. - You're still not dressed?
- By the way, the body is body-ing.
- Thank you.
- It's kind of wild. I've seen half of you naked.
- I've never been naked. - This is how we roll.
- That night at the pub
when you thought you were invisible and Wallace-
- Yeah, you were actually the most frequently naked,
as a matter of fact. - I was invisible!
- All of you surge out from this place, rushing.
You arrive at the chamber outside of the throne room.
You see three magical locks.
One by one.
- Gertrude, she's sick of being squeamish and scared.
She's down here. She's got a thing.
She takes that lock. She doesn't even think about it.
She puts it in the middle lock
and then it starts to shake and light's coming out of it.
Her eyes get big, she looks back,
and she's like... (screams)
- And we're like, ooh girl, we in danger.
- Well bitch, help me! Come put your fucking keys in!
- Okay.
- I take my key, and because I'm short,
I fly up to the top and put it in there!
And I'm shaking! My wings are sparkly!
My eyes bulge!
I smell the scent of something really nice,
like something floral.
- Nice.
- I'm still too weak, Princess. Take my key and you do it.
(Alaska grunting)
- She had to get on her knees.
- Door opens.
Darkness, and sudden light,
a platform of stone floating over endless void,
crystal glowing with indigo light.
You hear a voice from the emptiness beyond,
a voice that Gertrude has heard before,
but now you hear it speak.
You all feel the breath of the Underworld once again.
- I just realized, I never told you guys,
by the way, real quick, I did talk to Thanara.
She is really...
This lady knows me intimately at this point,
and she wants my curse,
but she's going to ask for a lot.
I forgot to tell you that back there.
I just wanted to tell you really quick.
All right, here we go. - Thanks.
- [Bob] Seems important. - You hear a voice say,
Disturbing the peace of me,
an endless deity of unlimited power.
This had better be good.
The platform beneath you lights up.
(powerful reverb)
Well, well. You've made it all this way.
Step forward!
- Okay, as she says step forward,
Gertrude kind of jumps and just runs there.
She just goes...
She goes, you know why I'm here!
- Ooh, getting loud. - You're really far.
I just wanted to make sure you heard me.
I don't know how your hearing is.
- Do the rest of you descend to the platform as well?
- Yes, I slowly saunter down with my wings flapping,
looking very adorable, and I look at you and I say, hi.
It's Twyla.
- Light surrounds a raised throne,
and a horned giantess,
18 feet tall, gorgeous,
a corroded bronze armored bikini,
big huge bat wings, draconic wings, these glowing red eyes.
Demonic, almost succubus-like, imposing figure,
this Queen of the Underworld.
- Now you're just literally describing RuPaul.
This is just literally...
What about Thanara?
- What about Thanara?
She beholds all of you, and she is petting,
sort of very sensually petting the head of,
you guys know centaurs, right?
Half man, half horse,
with the upper part of a man, the lower part of a horse.
This is a scorpion-taur.
It is a giant man's abs, shoulders, torso,
a horned helmet, these huge weapons,
but below the waist, it becomes a scorpion's body.
- The Rock.
- [Brennan] Yes, got huge claws, this massive tail.
- And a stinger? - Stinger.
- Oh my.
- She sort of scratches under his chin as he... (snarls)
This monstrous sort of warrior.
She looks out and says,
you've come a long, long way, darlings, just to die.
You could've gotten here much faster
just by being a little more careless in the world above.
Yet you chose to come here by foot.
So tell me, what brings you to the heart of death?
- I come here to ask you to restore the dead to life.
The dead of my fey people,
to bring light back into our world.
- I come here because I am daughter of...
- Roy. - Roy. Roy Of Cardigan?
- [Brennan] Roy of Karkyn. - Cardigan?
- He loved a button-up sweater.
- Roy of Karkyn. - He was coldblooded.
- Who you took his soul to free him
of the burden of all the souls that he took.
I am daughter of...
- Roy! - No, my mother.
- Inira. - Inira.
- I'm daughter of my mother?
- You don't say!
- Of Edgedeep.
Of Edgedeep, and I, for years,
gave you seven souls a season to save my people.
But apparently, it was all a lie,
and I'm here to know the truth.
- You see she turns to you.
- I am here to have my curse released.
I know it's you who put this curse on me,
and I would like for it to be released,
she says as her chest is puffed out,
but her knees are literally shaking.
But her face is, like, stern.
If you look at her face, you wouldn't even know.
- Is her butt clenched? - Completely.
- Awesome.
- She could snap a coconut in half. (tongue pop)
- And I want you to bring my family back to life.
- Hm.
I have good news and bad news.
The good news is, I am feeling generous today.
Normally I like the number three for boons.
But today, I feel like granting four.
Bad news is, I see eight mortals.
Keena, Kerwyn,
Zaria Hex, and Morgan of the Glaring Sun
walk out from behind the Goddess of Death's throne.
- Do they all have boons too?
- She says, I haven't granted theirs,
and I have no intention of granting yours,
at least not before the show.
- She likes entertainment! We're going to fight!
We're going to fight to the death! She likes entertainment!
This is the entertainment she wants!
- Oh my god, one on one, honey. This is-
Mortal Kombat! (gong)
(Bob and Monét sing the Mortal Kombat theme)
- You see Thanara-
- It better be a dance competition, because Twyla,
(House music)
she gonna do a two-step, a backflip, and a tour jeté.
- You see she says, and Alacranos,
why don't you make it a little more interesting as well?
She sort of pets the giant scorpion monster.
The vibe is, she's kind of fucking the scorpion monster?
That's what everyone's picking up.
- I mean, if he looks like The Rock, I don't blame her.
- You see that, and I'm sorry to do it,
she goes, the time has come!
- Shudders.
- Ladies, let's get to work.
Your enemies, arrayed before you, leap forward!
I'm going to need everybody here to roll initiative!
- Okay, here we go. - Oh my god.
- [Jujubee] Roll initiative.
- And that's all for this episode of Dimension 20!
Tune in next week as we face terrible, terrifying combat
in the heart of death itself.
We'll see you then. Farewell!
- But I'm busy next week!
- We see the throne room of Thanara,
Goddess of The Underworld. - [Alaska] Wow.
- [Jujubee] That's fierce.
- [Monét] That's so good. - [Brennan] Incredible.
- [Jujubee] This is fucking cool.
- [Alaska] Werk.
- [Brennan] Surrounding the throne are your assembled enemies.
Here we go.
- Face off.
- You about to get pummeled.
- It's giving.
- [Monét] Get one! - Werk!
- It's easy.
- Oh, shit.
- Wow. - Oh, give it to me, daddy.
- That's Dungeon Daddy to you.
- She's gagging, literally.
- Literally gagging.
- Fireball those hoes.
- [Brennan] You're gonna take- - Do you see how nervous I am?
I'm like sweaty.
- Fuck, it was almost a fucking 20.
- Now might be a great time-
- To pray.
Lord Jesus. (Monét and Brennan laughing)
- Hallowed be thy name. - The beat goes on with her,
no matter how much we hit this hoe.
- Oh, come, don't do that face.
- Fuck.
- She's about to rage on us. - Do some magic shit.
(Brennan gasps) - Stop it!
- Oh my God, I'm gonna die!
- Wow, the poetry.
- Tell us what's going on.
Tell us! - [Jujubee] Please.
- So. - What?
- Shit. - Oh, God.
[Bob] All's not lost.
(tongues popping)
(Monét screeching)
(Brennan screams) (Jujubee screams)
- Yes!
- [Bob] I have sacrificed everything!
- The time has come
to peel those pretty little wings off your back.
- Oh, hell nah.
- Ruin her.
- End her.
- Get her together. - She is sorry she brought
her ass down to The Underworld.
(dramatic music)
- [Brennan] You have all the spirits of your family,
and more than that, you have these, your friends.
- [Jujubee] Thanks to you, bitch.
(Brennan gasps) - [Monét] Brennan, that's shady.