- [Brennan] A list of the topics, themes,
and subject matter featured in this episode
has been included in the video description.
(logo sizzling climactically)
♪ Here we go ♪
♪ T-T-T-Taking over, teenage rebellion ♪
♪ It's our time, it's our year ♪
♪ No more fantasizing about it ♪
♪ Everything's about to change ♪
♪ We're all gonna be okay ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, let's go ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, let's go ♪
- Hello, one and all.
Welcome back to another thrilling episode of
"Dimension 20: Fantasy High Junior Year."
I'm your humble dungeon master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me, as always, are our Intrepid Heroes.
Say hi, Intrepid Heroes!
- Hi, Intrepid Heroes. - Fuck you, Intrepid Heroes.
- ♪ Am I more than you bargained for, yeah ♪
- Oh, I'll tell you, it feels like more than I bargained for
here in the dimensional dome. - We begged you to dress up.
- 15 minutes! We talked to Brennan's mom. We called Elaine.
- You said, "My reputation is on the line."
- Here's the problem- - I'm the fucking boss!
I'm the fucking boss! Stop fucking texting me, I'm busy!
- Then he put on a tie. - Yeah!
- Show up, do your job. - Yeah! (laughs)
- I had a lip ring in. He pulled it out.
- Yeah. - He slapped me with a resume.
- The funniest part was, the last time we did this
five years ago in this gymnasium,
and all of you had incredible prom-wear,
and I had a random maritime shirt from Target.
Everyone was like, "Brennan should get into it more."
So you all fucking-
- Well, we were joking that we were like,
we have to hide our looks from him,
the way that you hide the battle sets from us.
- [Siobhan] Yes. - [Ally] Yeah.
- So we're doing it to surprise you and delight you.
- [Brennan] There you go. - This is our Rick Perry.
- Yeah, Rick Perry built all of this for us.
- Yeah, Rick Perry did my lip tonight.
- He spent $217 at Hot Topic.
- And I would've gladly done the same,
but this is a PC solidarity moment, and so therefore-
- It's a present for you.
- It's a present, and it is, honestly,
I can't imagine something-
Lou, what does it say on your shirt?
- It says- I did it myself. This is- - [Brennan] Really?
- I'm not sure if you can tell.
- This wasn't bought from a retailer?
- I just have to turn and kinda, sorry,
it says, "Dead inside."
I threw, "I'm sad," up here, too.
- Nice!
- Well, speaking of dead inside,
everyone is currently inside the gymnasium
and about to be dead. - Great segue. Perfect.
- Folks, last we left off, our Intrepid Heroes
were in the skies over Elmville,
flying directly into the mouth
of the Nightmare King/Cassandra,
protecting a nascent, pupating divine realm within,
taking over the skies and soil
of the home of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy,
Elmville, Solace.
Our heroes landed, got to the campaign headquarters
of the Applebees student body presidential campaign.
It's always happy hour at Applebees.
Consumed a quick Ice Feast, which made them immune
to both fire damage and to Stunning,
and kicked down the doors of the gymnasium
just as the world started to come apart
and the realm of Ankarna, her massive body suffused
with rage crystals and shatter-stars, began to pull apart.
Jace Stardiamond, Porter Cliffbreaker,
the Rat Grinders, all faced them down
and battle commenced as the floor splintered apart.
We left off mid-combat.
Riz Gukgak, spy versus spy
in the bowels of the broken gymnasium,
trying to isolate Kipperlilly Copperkettle.
Kristen and, blimey, K2,
support casting from a-
- That's my sister. - [Brennan] That's my sister.
From a Greater Invisibility and from underneath
the gymnasium. Adaine Abernant,
just having had Concentration on a Flesh to Stone broken,
along with a half dozen other spells by a Fireball
from Figueroth Faeth, swan-diving into the lava.
Also, not only broke the restraint on Adaine Abernant,
but also the Banishment that Buddy Dawn had
on the ballot box in the back as Mazey Phaedra,
the current student body class president,
at least for another minute or less,
holds onto the bag of votes from Seacaster Manor.
And above it all, Porter Cliffbreaker,
with an unconscious Gorgug Thistlespring in his hands.
Fabian Aramais Seacaster, contending with
an arcane fist behind him, looks out.
Half of the Rat Grinders are dropped.
Ruben, Oisin, and Ivy are out of this fight.
Kipperlilly, Buddy, and Mary Ann Skuttle remain.
With that, we return to combat.
Fig, your spell released.
Are there any bonus actions from you on your turn,
floating in the lava? - Can I see Fabian?
'Cause I just skateboarded away from him.
- [Brennan] Line of sight, you can see
the top of a battle sheet and that eyepatch.
- I whisper into the night,
"Spring break, I believe in you!"
- To be believed in!
What a great gift!
- And that's it.
- [Brennan] And Fabian, that is your turn.
Bardic Inspiration. We are back up, and combat commences.
- That Fireball was fucking sick, but I am weak,
and have one level of exhaustion,
so I'm gonna reach into my pocket
and pull out Bakur's soul gem.
- Okay.
- And I'm gonna whisper, Bakur?
It's Fabian. I'm the guy who said 'sup earlier.
I wanted you to know that this man
wants to unmake your deity,
and her champion is fighting with all her heart!
You should help!
And I'm gonna throw it into the lava after Fig.
- [Ally] Ooh. - Ooh!
- Okay!
- Bakur, go! - Bakur, go!
♪ We have journeyed across the land ♪
- Go, Bakur!
- You toss the gem into the lava.
- I could also throw it against the ground,
but it seemed cooler to throw it into the lava.
- No, I like that.
I also have been monologizing to her like,
your willingness to serve is great, but you gotta decide.
You gotta have a sense of self outside of that.
Don't let them use you.
And I want Bakur to be overhearing that.
- [Brennan] Yes, absolutely.
- He's been in my pocket the whole time.
- So, as it hits the lava,
this is literally the magma blood
of Bakur's goddess.
However, he is within a gem that was designed
to be able to restrain that divine energy.
We are going to leave this up to a roll of the dice.
At the beginning of your turn, every turn,
you can roll another break check.
Go ahead and roll a d4 for me real quick. - Okay.
(die rolling)
- Four. - Four!
- Okay, so instead of needing a nat 20,
you need a 20, 19, 18, 17, for Bakur to be released.
We're gonna roll right away,
right here, for the first one.
You get the maximum roll on the number of chances.
Every turn- you rolled the highest,
we'll say it expands by another four every turn.
- Okay.
- Here we go. Roll a d20.
17 or higher on this first roll
for Bakur to be immediately released.
- Come on, come on.
(die rolling)
- Eight. You see that the different facets of the gem
begin to glow with fiery light
as along the ridges, you see within,
(aggressive) "Mistress, I am coming!
I will bring about your ruin as I...
(softer voice) Mistress, do you hear me? Ankarna?"
As the voice begins to shift and you see
some of the facets of the gem showing a pit fiend,
and others showing a gleaming, golden high elf.
- Oh, okay.
- I tuck into the hot tub for a show.
- Hot tub and a movie.
- As the gem hits the lava, Porter screams out, "No!"
and you see that light from that gem
begins to rocket all over Elmville,
and mirrors begin to open up around the gymnasium,
reflecting other locations within Elmville,
some of which may have the chance to open a portal
to one of your allies within Elmville.
I'm gonna let everybody roll at the start of every turn.
This is gonna require a nat 20.
You can go ahead and roll this right here.
- Oh, great. This is- - For an ally appearing,
because you've thrown the gem into the-
- You got it. - Come on.
- Powering you up. - Right on the first one.
- No. - Cool. What is Fabian's turn?
- Seeing kind of in between Porter and the fist,
we're gonna hit it, baby.
We're gonna hit that "Ocean's 12" capoeira. Exactly.
I cast Kinetic Jaunt, and I think I'm gonna move away.
Mazey, we need to get the ballots into the box!
- Awesome, cool.
Okay, so you have Kinetic Jaunt.
No attacks of opportunity. - No, exactly.
So Mazey will have to wait until her turn
to get them over there, so I'm gonna go get into the mix
with those two Jaces, though. - Okay, copy that.
Do you wanna get right in between them?
- Yeah. - Here we go.
- Do we get any concept that the Jace clones are any worse,
or do they all seem exactly the same?
- They seem largely the same.
In other words, they all seemed equally injured
by the Synaptic Static when they split.
- Right, none of them popped.
- If I hit Jace 4 with a shove attack,
do I get the sense that he would go into lava?
- [Ally] Ooh.
- [Brennan] It would be a Dex save, but yes, absolutely.
- I'm gonna do a head spin
and try and knock Jace 4 into the lava.
- Incredible. This is gonna be Mirror Image.
I will roll in front of the board. Mirror Image number one.
Six or higher and you hit a duplicate.
17. One duplicate goes, bam. - Okay.
- That's your first attack.
- I'll take a second attack on Jace.
- Eight or higher is the other duplicate.
That is a six. You hit the real Jace.
- Hey, great. - [Emily] Yeah!
- Oh please, please.
- So if this is just a shove attack,
you're gonna roll straight Athletics.
- 13, and then I'm gonna throw a Bardic on it.
- Bless, also. - Oh, we have a Bless?
- That's an ability check, though.
- I'm fucking tired. - Yeah.
- Okay, it's still that, so it's still 13.
- Okay. - Adding Bless.
- [Brennan] Don't add Bless,
but you can add the Bardic, if you want.
Bless is not for ability checks.
- That's a 10, so 23. - Yes! Yes!
- Spring break indeed.
So wait, you got a 23?
- 23. - Fuck yeah.
- To push Jace into- - Man, all of Jace's shit
is like magic resistance and being resistant to magic shit.
- What about being pushed?
- This is just the art teacher getting shoved
by a jock in the gymnasium. - Ow!
- Okay, the geography is the geography.
A straight drop is right into
one of the thickest pools of lava in this place.
You rolled a 23? - 23.
- With a plus zero, Jace needs a natural 20.
- Okay.
(die rolling)
- [Ally] Did he get it?
- [Brennan] It's still spinning. It's still spinning.
- I'm dying inside. Make it stop, Brennan!
Is it really? Is it actually?
- On a three- - Oh my god!
- Fuck you, dude.
That's why you don't get to dress like us!
- 'Cause you're the freaking teacher.
- You're the freaking tea-
Yeah, I know, I should've come in with a button-up
and with a little pencil protector,
and just way hairier forearms.
Get mascara on my forearm hair.
- Why do they have such hairy forearms?
- So, Fabian. Hey, guys, we're shooting in the summer,
and it's the last day of classes here at Aguefort.
It's summertime, that means it's time to send your kids
to camp, because you're gonna need 18d10.
(players cheering)
He is gonna make a Con save,
which he also needs a nat 20 on.
Another natural three. Unbelievable.
- 10, 11, 12, 13, 14.
Guys, I need four more. Sixteen.
- I'm gonna send one. - 17, 18. Oh, great.
- I need to know how he does. - Great. I will report.
There it is. Okay.
- He's on probation. - [Ally] Mine's on scholarship.
(dice rolling)
- Jesus, that's too many dice.
- My kids suck! - Your kid got a nine.
- I know, I'm really proud. - Okay, good.
- I just haven't been feeling good.
- Jace, I don't feel good. - Jace, I don't feel good.
- Oh, where is she? - Mary Ann's right down here.
- Mary Ann, I served Ruben up a plate of redemption arc,
and he fucking cast a 9th level spell on it.
You're next, though.
- 10, 20, 30,
40, 50, 60,
72,
82,
83,
90, 99.
- Whoa! - 108.
117.
- Jace fails his Constitution save for half,
and with 96 hit points- - Whoa, really? Holy shit!
- A lot of health! - I didn't even know-
- Fabian, go ahead and describe
how you send Jace over the edge.
- I think it's the kinda capoeira jumps
through Porter's legs and past the fist,
over the lava, kinda fun side-cartwheel, turns,
and just truly almost Zoolander-like,
does a head spin, kicks Jace just a bunch of times
in the face until he trips over
and fucking falls his duplicate ass into that lava.
(Brennan screams) (lava sizzling)
- Full Gollum (screams) as he falls into lava, going,
"My magic! Please do something!
I should've studied a little bit!"
- Wait, you're a duplicate, but you have a sense of self?
- You see that all the Jaces say,
"We have enough ego to have as many identities as we need!"
- How come you're not becoming the god?
- Give me a Persuasion check.
- Classic.
Wow, that's real good. 24.
- You see that Jace goes, "Because, ah!"
and his chest glows red as you see Porter
is clearly a hive queen, almost,
of all these different rage-ified people,
which is what that rage token thing was before.
It appears that Jace is actually another minion of Porter's.
Fabian, you've used bonus and your actions. Anything else?
- That's enough movement. - Yeah.
- I think that's it. - Cool.
Emerging with bloody viscera
from the chests of Oisin, Ivy,
and where Ruben was standing,
these various shatter-stars appear.
- Does it look like they left their chest,
and they no longer have it in there,
or are they just duplicated and they're able to-
- It looks like these spirits
are abandoning a husk, essentially.
Totally parasitic.
Looks like these horrifying eldritch things
that Porter has summoned from the body of Ankarna.
You can see all the crystalline structures within the body.
Clearly, these things are harvested.
They're some sort of spirit or servant of this divine domain
that Porter has some ability to wield control over.
So they're just leaving non-combat hosts now.
They're leaving bodies that they can no longer inhabit.
- [Lou] No, don't you fucking dare.
Get the fuck away from her.
- That's my friend's girlfriend.
He's gonna lose his virginity to her on a skin rug.
- I've been using the word girlfriend a lot.
We've been on one date.
- In high school, that means girlfriend.
- I mean, pretty much. That's how I felt.
I was like, well, we're gonna be married.
- No! - Don't you fucking dare.
- And Kristen- - Kristen's underneath.
- Underneath the platform,
this one's gonna come for you as well, flying your way.
It can't get to Mazey this turn, and actually,
this one has to use a move and an action,
so Mazey's only making one save,
but I'm gonna need a Charisma save from Kristen
and one from Mazey.
Thankfully, she's a bard, so.
(die rolling)
- I'm gonna use a Luck point. - [Lou] There it is.
- It's a little bit hard to roll.
- 'Cause of whatever that is? - Yeah.
- Gotcha. - This?
- You mean Ally's new personality?
- This has a name. I wore this all day yesterday.
- When you bought it, what was it called?
- [Siobhan] It's genuinely rad, unfortunately.
- [Brennan] What was the name on the packaging?
- I wish I knew.
It was like, cool thing. - Cool thing!
- God fucking dammit.
Can I use two Luck points on the same thing?
In this instance, I will allow it.
- Come on.
(die rolling)
- Three, seven, eight. - Okay.
- Well, it got a little better every time.
- [Emily] Crawling up there. - Charisma saving throw.
- 16.
- 16 passes. - Yes.
- Thank god. - When you said 11,
I was like- (Brennan gasps)
What did Mazey get? - Mazey got a two on the die.
- But she has a plus 18 to Charisma, right?
- Doesn't she have Luck also? The Luck feat?
- The Luck feat?
No, my NPC, I did not stat out with the Luck feat.
- I think you meant to, though, right? You just forgot?
You can just retcon it. Can we get Carlos in here?
- You all see Mazey look as one of the shatter-stars
(screams) burrows into her chest,
and her eyes go red as she kneels over to the ground.
- Mazey, fight it!
- I don't wanna fight it. I wanna fight you!
- Oh.
- Is that- - I don't hate it.
- Unbelievable, okay.
That is gonna be Kristen Applebees' turn.
- (whistles) I guess from where I'm at,
I'll send, bonus action, my aura to Gorgug.
So that's 2d6. - So then he's just up.
- Yeah. - Great.
- Amazing.
- Plus my spell, so that is 10, actually.
- I'm up to 10? - [Ally] Yeah.
- Amazing. - [Ally] You're up to 10.
- Fabian, maybe you hit him in the...
Oh. Never mind.
- What?
Oh, Gorgug, you're back!
- [Ally] Has this Jace used his reaction yet?
- The far Jace has not used his reaction.
He would've Counterspelled, but he was out of range.
- But everybody else has. - Yes, correct.
- K2 is invisible.
- But K2 also is sort of immune to Counterspelling,
because she's invisible.
She cannot be seen, so she can't be Counterspelled.
- Such good news. You're right.
K2 is gonna turn and look at Buddy and cast Banishment.
- Buddy Dawn is gonna make a Charisma saving throw.
Ooh, he's not great at those. Okay.
Buddy Dawn vanishes from the battlefield.
- Yes. Okay, great. - As twilight consumes him.
- I am going to fly this way.
- [Brennan] 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. You can get here.
- [Ally] Okay, great, and I'm underneath, actually.
- [Brennan] Okay, cool, so you're above these two here.
They can see you, the people on the platform below you.
- Right. - Right?
- Who's that? - This Jace and this Mary Ann
have clear visibility on you.
- This Mary Ann? How many Mary Anns are there?
- 45.
- 45!
- One of the shatter-stars hits you
on the attack of opportunity as you exit that space.
- Oh shit, okay.
- But I think you're uninjured, right?
- Yeah. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Hits me, like tries to take over me?
- No no no, just slashes you. - Okay, great.
- Yeah, it's already used that ability.
28 slashing damage to Kristen from that shatter-star.
By the way, did you also roll your nat 20
to see if an ally shows up?
- Oh, no no. Let's see.
(die rolling)
No. - Cool.
- [Ally] I was gonna go that way for Oisin,
but I think I'll actually kind of go this way.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- [Ally] My little 30, and kinda down on that-
- Over on this platform near Adaine?
- Yeah. - Cool.
- Can I go down to the Hangman
and heal the Hangman a little bit?
- Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With Aura of Vitality or no, with-
- Cure Wounds. - Cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
The Hangman actually stabilized, so you may absolutely
go ahead and Cure Wounds on the Hangman.
- Gorgeous. Let's get her back in.
(die rolling)
Nine.
- Nine points.
- [Ally] I'm just gonna move K2 to here.
Just get out of the mix.
- [Brennan] So I think Porter is going to move.
Yeah, he's gonna go for Fabian.
- Fucking lame, dude.
- [Brennan] Just 'cause he can't
make it to Adaine on this turn.
- He's coming to me? He doesn't even know me.
- He barely knows me. - You don't know them at all.
- Hit the people you know, like Jace.
- This is awkward.
- [Brennan] Okay, he's coming for Fabian.
What's your armor class currently? It's normal?
- Just 19. - 19, all right.
That is a hit. - Getting lame.
- Give me a Strength saving throw.
(die rolling)
- That's a 14.
- 25 force damage.
- Down!
- He is then gonna take a swing on Gorgug.
That is a hit.
- By, like, a lot?
- Pretty fair hit. 15, 20, 23.
32 points of force damage to Gorgug. Gorgug is down.
He knocks Fabian to the ground,
turns to look at you, Gorgug, and goes,
"Do you see all the good it did you?
All the little tinkering and gadget shit?
You just needed to get mad,
and you'd be able to do something like this!"
Cocks the hammer back and crushes your skull, drops you.
- Jesus.
- And he's gonna stomp on you,
and gives you two failed death saving throws.
Porter steps on Gorgug and turns out
to face Adaine, Fig, Kristen, and goes,
"Your proud warriors, underneath my feet!
Just like you soon will be.
There's no getting good at war
unless you live and breathe it every moment of every day!
God, the act I had to put on
for you simpering, sweet little fools!"
- You didn't put on that much of an act.
You've seemed fucking suspicious from day one.
- Yeah, Fig's been talking about you for literally years.
- I don't know if you read my teacher evaluation.
I said, I still don't know if he's evil or not.
- Yeah, the whole reason she started taking
barbarian classes was 'cause she didn't trust you.
- So the act was thin.
- Well, you know, if ifs and buts were candy and nuts.
- He says that? - [Brennan] He says that?
- That was very singsong-y for the god of war.
- I am the god of war!
And as a bonus action on his turn,
he takes a vial from a pocket, uncorks it,
and sucks something down into his mouth.
- Did it look like ambrosia or the other thing?
We knew he was juicing on two things-
- The honey. - ...when we went through his office.
- It looked like honey.
You see he goes, "Ankarna,
I am ready to revere you.
We have made ready your place in this world.
Simply show your soul."
- Girlie, he's lying to you! - Girl!
- He sounds so convincing. - [Ally] He's lying.
- You don't know him like I know him. - No, you don't
want that! You don't want that kinda worship.
You want someone like me, saying,
I wanna see who you wanna be.
- At the end of his turn, Riz. - Mm-hmm?
- [Brennan] You are hit with an attack.
- He had a held action. - Yeah.
- Held action. These are gonna mutually resolve.
Held action and attack will resolve at the same time.
- [Murph] Is she attacking with a melee weapon?
- [Brennan] Attacking with a melee weapon.
- Wouldn't I know where she was if I was readied,
if I have Blindsight within 10 feet?
- Oh shit. - So she was up here.
- Yes. - So what I would like to do-
- So by the time she gets into melee range,
she no longer is hidden, and therefore no longer-
- So, I'm right here. - Yes.
- The moment she hops over to get to me,
Hold Person over the lava.
- [Siobhan] Yes!
- Oh my god. Okay.
- He told me this plan in the car.
- Yeah, so good!
- [Brennan] Hold Person, and she's a rogue-
- 'Cause it's 10 feet. - Yep.
- [Murph] So she's gotta hop this little five foot lava
to get to me. - Hell yeah.
- Your DC is 17.
On a 14 or higher, she will save.
We're gonna roll this in the Box of Doom.
- Okay.
- Fucking fail. - Fucking fail.
(die rolling)
- That is a four on the die! (players cheering)
Everybody send your kids to camp. 18d10.
- Oh my god! - Yes!
- Unbelievable.
I don't think I've ever seen a better use in a combat
of non-character ability strategy.
This is pure knowledge
of the overarching mechanics of the game.
She's gonna make a Con save.
Disadvantage, 'cause she's Held.
A nat 20 and a two.
- Well, if she's paralyzed, wouldn't she auto-fail?
- Lava's a Con save. - Okay, gotcha.
- ♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
- Oh, yes.
- This would count as Sneak Attack too, right?
- I feel like this is Sneak Attack.
- The lava is our ally. - Yes.
- [Ally] One of your allies is in the lava.
- I don't know how to say this, but,
Riz Gukgak knows how to use lava more effectively.
He has a technique with lava
that is really kind of wonderful to see.
- A rapport, one might say.
- Him and lava get along real great.
- [Brennan] Right in the fucking lava.
- [Lou] Damn, we're killing these people. Wild, man.
- 106 damage. - Wow!
- Riz, you know that Kipperlilly,
you've only seen her for an entire year
in the moments where she wishes to be seen.
She has moved like a ghost in this place.
Subliminal messaging across the school,
taunting you at every turn.
Impossibly proficient, having arrived there in a way
that completely abandons the heart and soul
of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy,
a place dedicated to a definition of heroism
based in lunacy, unhinged behavior,
reckless violence, and absolutely enormous swings
in the face of reasonable alternatives.
Kipperlilly Copperkettle got here by the most boring,
non in the spirit of the law means,
and you hear your Blindsense, in the final moment,
as she cannot snipe at you from a distance.
You hear (mimics tiny footsteps)
a tiny pair of polished shoes running across igneous rock.
Describe for me what happens in this moment.
- I'm pretending that I'm looking up at where she was,
and at the last second, I turn and I press my watch,
and a net shoots out right over the lava.
As it catches her, I go,
very good on paper, but no practical application.
(Brennan wails in agony)
- As she begins to sink into the lava (screams)
fighting this paralysis, you see,
as her shirt goes up in flame,
her little cardigan, little ponytail,
you look and see that there is no scar on her.
- [Emily] I knew it. I knew it. - I thought that might happen.
- I knew it. - Only a symbol,
because when you ask for it and accept it willingly,
it's a very different ritual.
(screams)
And Kipperlilly Copperkettle vanishes. Woo, baby!
- Okay! - Hot. Hot, Murph.
- Very hot.
In a different part of the lava, Figueroth Faeth.
- Did you roll your nat 20? - I definitely watch that.
- Roll to see if I get a nat 20.
- [Brennan] Oh yeah, roll to see if you get a nat 20
and an ally shows up. - Please?
(die rolling)
Nope. - Figueroth.
- Damn, it's fun down here in the lava. Good work, Riz.
Oh my god, Mary Ann is coming for me?
- Mary Ann Skuttle
looks at you and goes,
(Brennan screeches)
"You burned my strawberry."
- I what? - (roars) and leaps forward.
- In the lava? - I am in the lava.
- You are in the lava, but I think, you know what?
She's gonna take the damage and attack you.
- Okay.
- Go ahead and roll- - 18d10?
- She's got that dog in her.
- You gotta respect it. You just gotta respect it.
- Yeah, she really- - [Siobhan] She rules!
- Honestly, burning her strawberry is a great tactical move
'cause she will chase you into lava.
- You burned my strawberry!
- All right, the hot tub at this fucking hotel
is fucking crazy, okay.
- Does anyone wanna borrow this for a little bit?
- [Siobhan] Yes. - I honestly think
it doesn't fit on my hand. - [Ally] Really?
- My hands are so big. I just have naturally massive hands.
- Giant hands.
- They just can't fit, you know?
- [Ally] It's weird, 'cause it can go on either hand.
- 113 damage. - Woo!
- Okay, she makes her save.
113 divided in half is 56.
Mary Ann Skuttle dives headfirst into lava,
taking 56 points of fire damage.
As you see it burning her scales, she swings on you
with her greataxe three times, hitting twice.
Her first, 14- - I'm down.
- Okay, down on the first hit?
- I'm down on the first hit. - Okay.
- And since I'm not gonna have a turn to use my reaction
for Gorgug, I'm gonna Hellish Rebuke her.
- Okay, copy that.
(dice rolling)
- For another 16.
- She takes the full damage. Still up.
She drops you with 14 damage, and then on the second blow,
two failed death saving throws.
You guys see the lava bubbling and boiling over
in that part of the thing.
Buddy Dawn, Banished, cannot go. Huge.
- I retreat into the womb of my new goddess.
- [Brennan] Adaine Abernant, that is your turn.
- [Siobhan] Oh, thank god! I think it's a pretty even split.
If I go between Fig, Fabian, and Gorgug,
I think that's 30 feet in each direction.
- [Brennan] That's 60 feet between them both,
and you should be good to go.
And it is 60 feet between them both.
- [Siobhan] Hell yes. - So you can go right in the middle.
You're gonna be right next to Oisin.
- Gorgeous. - His dead body, right?
- His dead body.
But also, you can't get that much altitude,
because you need to be...
They are exactly 60 feet. - Absolutely great.
- Cool. - And I'm gonna cast Scatter.
(Brennan gasps) - Ooh!
- So- - I actually have,
if you wanna put anyone who's out near me,
I actually have one of the vulture things.
- [Siobhan] Oh, is a healing thing.
- Is a healing thing. - Right.
- So I could put somebody up on my turn.
- I will put Gorgug over there, because he has Fly on.
- The Hangman did just come back up.
- Oh, so I could do Fabian, or the Hangman could take Fig.
- To give a lay of the land right now for the battlefield,
Fabian and Gorgug are both down.
Gorgug has two death save fails.
Fig, in the lava, with two death save fails as well.
Mazey has a shatter-star in her.
Kristen's here, K2 here, Riz all the way in the back.
Five of six Rat Grinders are down.
I mean, Buddy's not down, but he's in a Banishment
being held on by an invisible person.
- So it's just Mary Ann and a couple Jaces.
- [Brennan] Just Mary Ann, Porter, and three Jaces.
- Do you have a Lesser Restoration left?
- I do. - Great, do we think
that Mazey will be cured by a Lesser Restoration?
- Potentially, Mazey...
Oh, there's a lot of things that could help Mazey
out of this situation with the shatter-star in her.
But also, the main thing is,
she's holding onto the bag of votes.
- Yes, could I, with Scatter,
just put the votes inside the ballot box?
- [Emily] Put Mazey inside the ballot box?
- Hold on a second.
- Wait, also, you're on this level.
You can see the ground.
- But I wanna make sure that the people who are down
are safe before I do any other-
- Totally. Shenanigans.
- And the range is 30, but you can teleport creatures-
- I can move them up to 120 feet.
- Can move them up to 120. Unbelievable.
Okay, first of all, who Countered...
Jace's turn has been a long time ago, so-
- [Siobhan] So this is the only guy that hasn't Countered,
and I believe I'm more than 60 feet away from him.
- I believe you are, too. Hold on, let me see.
No, you are within 60 feet of him,
so you will have one Counterspell incoming.
But you're casting- it's a 6th level spell, right?
- Yeah, it's a 6th level spell.
- Three on the die. - [Murph] Yes!
- Jace reaches up, uses his last reaction.
The spell is too powerful.
Elven Oracle, in midair, eyes rolling back.
You cast Scatter. Spell is going to go off without a hitch.
- Great.
- So you have to target creatures instead of objects,
but you could put Mazey somewhere else on the battlefield.
- I'll put Mazey next to K2. - Okay.
- Could you put Mazey in the ballot box?
Do you have to be able to see inside the object?
- I would say, give me an Arcana check,
'cause the ballot box is kinda small.
But give me an Arcana check. We'll call it DC 18.
- I got a 17. - You do not feel
that you could put Mazey inside of the ballot box.
- Okay, that's fair. Honestly?
Absolutely worth the ask.
- And she'd get a Wisdom save too right now,
'cause she would be resisting it.
- Yes, absolutely, so I'll send her over to K2.
I will get Gorgug and Fabian
over to K1. - [Brennan] Okay.
- And I'll send Fig over to Riz.
- Vwoom, both these guys appear by K2.
Fig vanishes from a screaming Mary Ann and appears-
- Dead at Riz's feet. - ...dead at Riz's feet.
- Almost dead friend,
and then also Mary Ann coming for me? (yelps)
- And then I'd like to move as far as I can this way.
- You were, like, here? - I was there.
- Yeah, you were there, so- - It might only be, like,
5 or 10 feet, but I'll take it.
- [Brennan] So you moved like 55 feet.
- Oh, okay. Even if it's five feet, I'll take it, you know?
- Yeah, I hear you.
You're gonna go right down here, still hovering.
You surge forward towards all the remaining bad guys,
get right up in the mix with them,
and use your powerful magic
to put all of your friends behind you.
Porter looks at the people...
He was literally going to use your turn
to Legendary Action and crush Gorgug's head.
Turns down to look at you and goes,
"Nice sword. Wanna fight?"
And takes a chunk of debris,
and at the end of your turn, is gonna hurl it right at you.
- Cool.
- Porter's gonna Legendary Action, hurl this boulder.
- [Siobhan] Do I get a Dex save, or? - [Brennan] Hm?
- [Siobhan] This is just- - [Brennan] It's an attack.
- [Siobhan] Great. - That is a hit.
- Silvery Barbs. - That is a hit.
I need a Strength saving throw.
- But you're strong now. - I'm so strong now.
- You're strong now!
- It's a 10.
- You take 33 points of damage.
- Oh, I have Mirror Image on.
- Oh shit. Go ahead and give me the roll.
And you haven't been attacked yet.
- [Siobhan] I haven't been attacked yet.
- So a six plus negates the hit.
- 18. - Now, I wanna point out,
you realize that this boulder attack of his
sends you 10 feet and knocks you prone,
which means he has a way of getting you guys in the lava.
Which you're immune to. - Which we're immune to.
- Well, dang! You know- - Again, you wrote this spell.
- Think about how bad- - You wrote the spell!
- I forgot that lava- - And then you reminded us!
- I thought, he had an ability where he does
a fire charge-up thing, and I was like,
oh, they'll have immunity to that.
And then I remembered that lava does fire damage!
- I don't think we would have a chance
without lava shenanigans. - Yeah, oh my god.
The lava shenanigans are really saving our fucking asses.
- Unbelievable. Lava's taken out two enemies thus far.
- [Siobhan] Yes.
- That fucking move with Kipperlilly was so goddamn sick.
Okay! - Yeah.
- So, Adaine, you see one of your duplicates, boom!
And he (roars) howls out in rage. Woo!
That was fucking huge. - Good turn.
- So I'd also like to take this Jace
that's next to the ballot box
and have him roll a Wisdom saving throw to move him.
That's the last person, with my Scatter.
- Hell yes. Okay, this Jace is rolling Wisdom.
Wisdom, not one of his great saves as a sorcerer.
- It's a DC 18. - Wow.
(die rolling)
- On a 13, he fails. - Great.
So let's move him down to here,
so there's a rock hiding
Fig and Riz from sight. - From his sight.
- But they can get to him if they want.
- Do you think, Murph, are you too worried about that,
having it come near to us?
- I might put him a little further away,
but it's up to you guys. - Okay.
- I will say, if you wanted... - [Siobhan] Mm-hmm.
- As you can see, the gym is coming apart.
If you wanted to say, "I'm flinging him 120 feet,"
the battle board is an aid for us,
but it does not define the world.
If you wanna say, "Get 120 feet away
from me and my friends, off the board in this direction-"
- Yeah, let's yeet him. - We can just yeet him away.
- Let's just yeet him. - Great.
- Cool, so 120 feet. - And then finally,
I'll give advantage to Gorgug with my Silvery Barbs.
- Aw. - Aw!
- [Brennan] Very important, with this upcoming-
- [Murph] Oh yeah, god.
- Oh, and roll an ally check, if you'd be so kind.
Not very likely, but always a little bit of fun.
- Hey! - This could be the one!
- You didn't say that for Murph!
- [Brennan] I'm just saying, you know?
- 18. - So close! Adaine, 120 feet.
- No, 120 feet from him. It's not 120 feet from me.
I believe. Let me reread it.
- So, Jace is here. This is where Jace-
- [Siobhan] Oh no, it is within 120 feet-
- Okay, so Jace is right near my left nipple.
- Can we get some Blu-Tack there?
- [Murph] Yeah, can we just put him there?
- All right, let's get him in there.
- [Zac] Chill Touch. - Ooh!
Okay. You see this Jace gets all the way over here,
and goes, "Fuck!"
He's just jogging over igneous rock, his shoes burning.
"Boss, I'm coming!"
The next turn is Mazey.
Mazey is possessed, with the votes in her hand.
She rushes forward, and you see Porter,
right over Adaine, rushes over, and Porter goes, "Mazey!
Wait, you...
You're the upperclassman president!
Declare the school disbanded!"
You see Mazey goes, "The school is hereby disbanded."
And then you hear, "This is Arthur Aguefort.
No student body president may be compelled
against their will by through act of magic
to disband the school or engage in any act of changing-"
Porter goes, "Fuck!"
You see Jace says,
"This is why we didn't do this earlier, Porter,"
and he goes (roars) and hurls a rock across the battlefield.
He goes, "Mazey, destroy the votes! Throw them in the lava!"
This Jace over here goes, "Kipperlilly just died!"
And you see he goes, "What?"
And he goes, "Kipperlilly's dead, so I don't...
Are there any blank votes in the bag?"
And honestly, because Kipperlilly just died,
Mazey loses her turn as Jace and Porter
have to redo the plan on the fly,
going, "Well no, she should still destroy...
They're from Seacaster Manor!"
And you see he goes, "Yeah, but we don't...
We need to pick a new president!"
And you see he goes, "Mazey, throw the votes in the box!"
And she goes, "Okay.
I still have to count them once they're in there."
Porter goes, "Fuck!"
- The problem with having a mad dude as your...
- Yeah, what does Porter add to Intelligence?
- Let's see, what's Porter's Intelligence?
- And Jace is a sorcerer. He also probably is very-
- This was a plan with no wizard and no rogue.
- Exactly. - No wizard and no rogue.
None of the A student, "I'm gonna take
a stress token on your behalf," people on their squad.
So, Mazey runs to the edge.
Porter just says, "Fuck it, toss the bag to me!"
and she kicks the bag over to him,
but nothing else nefarious can happen as he stalls,
wondering what the fuck he's supposed to do now.
It is Jace's turn, and Porter says,
"Figure it out, Stardiamond, or I'll kill you again!"
And you see Jace goes, "Okay, we can...
Buddy, bring Kipperlilly back!
Where's Buddy?"
- Mary Ann's gonna be student body president.
Let her do it! Let her have it!
- We have to have a total party kill.
- [Emily] My president! Mary Ann, I pledge myself!
- Now we're all on the same page.
- She's bad. Y'all are weird about this.
- Here's what happens next.
All these Jaces that should be trying to kill
all of you right now, one of them's dead,
the other one's 120 feet away.
Let's see about 120 first.
This Jace is going to cast Fly.
- That's adorable. - Aw!
- Adorable.
- So he's gonna go, and goes 60 feet.
Now he's only 60 feet away from Adaine.
- Hi, Jace. - God!
Wizards, you think you're so much better than everybody
just because you understand the principles that are at work-
- [Siobhan] You could take a level of wizard.
- I really can't. I tried.
Okay, Jace gets to here.
He's off the battle board still,
but he's flying in the right direction.
That's Jace 3's turn. This guy's no more.
They need Kipperlilly back. They know they need Buddy.
So, I'm gonna roll just to see
the order that these two guys act in.
We'll call it an honest Luck check.
They're gonna do something stupid on odds,
and something smart on evens. - Great.
(die rolling)
- 10. They do something smart.
- Fuck!
- [Brennan] So, this one here
casts Detect Thoughts again,
and feels Kristen 2's thoughts, and he goes,
"Invisible, over here!" and points up to K2.
- Do Simulacrum, could you Detect Thoughts, though?
Does it need to be humanoid? They're a construct.
- Let's double check that. Hold on.
- And if they ever, have they heard
British Kristen talk...
- Roll a Wisdom saving throw, otherwise they go mad
from trying to understand what's going on.
(Ally humming circus music)
- Cool, yes, the term is creatures,
which definitely includes K2.
- She is absolutely a creature.
- This Jace right here looks at you, Adaine, and says,
"I always thought wizards were a bit stinky.
Time for you to take a bath," and he's going to...
Wait, you guys are all immune to fire.
- Oh no, don't put me in the fire!
- [Ally] He doesn't know that!
- [Brennan] He doesn't fucking know that.
- Don't do it! Don't put me in the fire!
- He's going to create a Bigby's Hand,
and he's gonna push you into the lava.
Give me an Athletics check. - You're so stinky.
- You could fail it on purpose, for fun.
- Oh no, I got an 18. Wait, Athletics?
- Athletics. - I got a 17.
- Can I tell you something right now?
- What? - You resist it.
You can choose to fail if you wanna get pushed into lava.
- No, I just am like, cool hand.
- Jace is going, "Destroy them,"
and this purple hand is going like...
(Brennan mimics Bigby's Hand jiggling impotently)
- Your saving throw is bad.
- No, no!
- Maybe crack a book once in a while.
- Porter goes, "Listen to her! She's right! Fuck you!"
That's all of the Jace Stardiamonds that there are.
So, an absolutely devastating turn-
- So sick.
- ...becomes absolutely fucking stupid,
as their villainous plan falls apart
due to Kipperlilly's death
and Buddy being taken out of the picture.
I know things can feel hopeless, but you guys
have fucking really put them in a bad spot as well.
You have advantage, Gorgug. It is your turn.
Bless does apply to death saving throws.
You have two failures, though, and no successes.
(dice rolling)
- Oh! - Yeah!
- Nat fucking 20!
- Just kick up.
- Yeah, we knew it was gonna happen.
- A 19 and a 20.
- On that nat... What the fuck!
- And it happened at the beginning of your turn!
- It happened at the beginning of your fucking turn!
Gorgug, okay, so also, I will say this.
Based on that, we're back in the gym,
another miraculous fucking nat 20 death save.
Roll a d4 for me. - Three.
Allies now show up on 17, 18, 19, 20.
- Whoa.
- Describe for me what happens as Gorgug gets up.
(Zac whimpering)
- What are we doing?
Okay, okay.
Gorgug looks around.
I was pretty sure I was by Porter.
- [Brennan] Well, you got Scattered.
You got put all the way over here.
- Not understanding what happens when he gets back up.
God, I don't even know what to do.
I'm gonna run at, maybe, a Jace.
- [Brennan] Yeah.
- Throw those suckers into lava.
- And I have Fly? - Mm-hmm.
- [Emily] Oh yeah, Fly. You can get there.
- Can I take a full Fly movement
and try to tackle that Jace into the fire?
- [Brennan] Okay, 60 feet gets you to that Jace.
- Okay. - So that's all your movement.
Or no, 80 is Fly, right? - It's 60.
- It's 60, okay. - But I will get to him,
and then try to throw him straight off the edge.
- Oh, and try to push him. - [Emily] Spike him into lava.
- [Brennan] Let me see.
So, closest edge where lava is here is this edge,
which is one, two, three spaces away.
With a bonus action...
Or, no, you're not raging anymore,
'cause you got dropped out of unconsciousness.
- Do shove attacks go 10 feet? Could he get two shoves?
- Can I go into a rage, and then make two shove attacks?
- I'll say this.
You could knock him five feet off this way,
and it would be a chance that he goes in the lava
or hits the crystal and takes bad falling damage.
But shoves only push five feet.
- Okay.
And the other Jace?
- [Brennan] Oh, this Jace is absolutely
one shove away from going in the fucking lava.
- I will go to that Jace. - Sick.
- [Zac] And take a shove attack on him.
- There it is, there it is. - [Zac] Reckless shove attack.
- [Brennan] Okay, here we go.
(dice rolling)
- Does my potion still work?
- He just rolled a four.
- Well, that's fun, because I rolled a 33.
Do I push him too far? - Yeah, he clears the lava.
- You give him a concussion before he hits,
you push him so hard.
- Gang, everybody send your kids to camp.
- Yeah! - We prepped it.
- Oh, you still have them. - We did some kids prep.
- He's gonna roll his Con save.
Miserable fail on the Con save from Jace Stardiamond.
(dice rolling)
- [Ally] Baccarat.
- Nice. Ooh, look at those tens.
- Ooh, so many freaking tens. - 10, 20.
- [Lou] Baccarat.
- Rip up the character sheet now.
- Bakarath. - Roll for lava.
- Lava is a really great weapon, we've learned.
- Lava is an ally and a weapon.
- There was that rogue who had such a technique with lava,
and then there was that barbarian who was so...
I don't know, his relationship to lava was so powerful.
- He's an elemental barbarian.
He gets it. - 95?
- 95 damage.
Gorgug, describe for me what happens
as you fly in and absolutely destroy this Jace.
- I say, what even is art? And I push him into the lava.
- Whatever you make of it! (lava bubbling)
- So this is art?
- And I have one more attack.
I'm gonna use my bonus action to look at Porter,
and I'm gonna use my scanner
to see if he has any vulnerabilities.
- Oh shit. - [Emily] Or resistances.
- Should I do resistances and immunities,
or damage vulnerabilities?
- I would do damage vulnerabilities.
- I don't know if he's gonna have vulnerabilities.
- [Emily] He's not, yeah.
- All right, then I'll do resistances and immunities.
- Cool, you kick Jace off.
This Porter looks down and says,
"You need to learn to stay down."
- ♪ When you get mad ♪
- You start singing the Thistlespring song.
Oh, as you do that, go ahead and roll an ally check for me.
17 or higher.
Cool, no worries. You go (beeping) and get the readout.
- I still have one attack. - Cool.
- So I will
turn around and hit the other Jace.
- Sick. What's the range on your Returning weapon?
- [Zac] I think it's 20/60. I don't actually-
- [Brennan] So you'd roll with disadvantage,
but that's okay.
- Where are the ballots, by the way?
- Oh yeah, the ballots.
- [Brennan] In Porter's hand. - Shit.
- Are you trying to think about using your attack
to get the ballots out of his hand?
- Yeah, if there's any way-
- I would allow that as a ranged disarm check,
if it's just Athletics versus Athletics
with you throwing the Heavy Metal Axe.
So it's Porter's Athletics, which he's gonna roll right now.
He got a 26 on his Athletics.
What did you need to roll to beat that?
- I have plus 12. - Okay.
- So I have to roll,
26,
a 14 or higher?
- You still have a Fabian Bardic, right?
- Yeah, I have a Bardic. Okay.
And I roll this with advantage 'cause I'm raging, right?
- Yes, you roll it with advantage 'cause you're raging.
- 18 on the die. - Hell yes.
Okay, on this attack, you... (mimics axe whooshing)
Now, I just wanna remind you,
at the end of your turn, Porter has Legendary Actions.
So tell me where you wanna send these ballots to.
- [Zac] Down here.
- [Siobhan] Can you send them to me?
- [Zac] Oh yeah, if it could go to Adaine.
- Yeah, just boomerang through the air,
you forego dealing damage.
As he's holding the ballots, you bam!
The straps of the duffel bag hook
on the back hook of the battleaxe.
As it sails through the air, it lands in the hands
of Adaine Abernant, and your axe returns to you.
(roars) Democracy!
Oh, this hand is gone as well.
So, Gorgug, that is your turn. Any other-
You used bonus actions.
Do you want that information?
You didn't actually use it yet.
- I didn't get the info yet, so yeah,
I will take it, if there's any.
- Resistances and immunities.
Damage immunities.
Fire and bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing
from non-magical attacks.
Magical attacks, no.
Damage resistances?
All.
Resistance to all damage. - [Emily] Yeah. Makes sense.
- So he's resistant to magical attacks?
Or if we hit him with a magical weapon-
- He has resistance to all forms of all damage.
So effectively, he's always in a barbarian rage
that applies to everything, right?
Effectively, he has twice as many hit points
as his stat block says.
- So instead of 30, he has 60?
- He has 60 full hit points. That's freaking nuts.
- That's wild. - [Lou] That's fucking wild.
- That's so strong.
- I can't even begin to imagine.
- [Brennan] Porter, Legendary Action on his turn,
is going to leap off the gymnasium, (grunts) bam,
and leap right here.
- And I don't get an attack of opportunity, right?
- He's also a friend to lava. - That's slightly out of range?
- Yeah, it's out of range for you.
But he's got reach on both you and Adaine at the same time,
and more importantly, if Adaine were to fly away,
he would get an attack of opportunity on her.
So he used his Legendary Action to move.
That's his second Legendary Action of that round.
That is going to be Riz, at the top of the order.
- Okay, first things first, Gizzard of the Vulture King.
Would that be a free action, just shoving a gizzard to Fig?
- [Brennan] Let's call it an object interaction.
- Great, I give you the Gizzard of the Vulture King
for 3d10 hit points. - It's so big.
- [Brennan] You awaken with a feeling like...
There is just rot and organ in your mouth. (gagging)
- Mm, mm.
Riz, you've got to give me this recipe.
- You're still out of it, I think.
- So good. - I think you're poisoned.
3d10.
- Nice! - Hell yeah.
- That's great.
Are any of the kids over there? Has anyone seen my kids?
- Since I'm up, I'll say, if you wanna get over there
and hold your action to do some stuff-
- Great, yeah, can I
essentially hold my turn to go with Fig?
- I'm gonna allow the use of the gizzard
as an object interaction,
but I think that does mean you're taking your turn.
Does that make sense? - Okay.
- [Brennan] But you can ready an action, if you want.
- Okay, yeah, damn.
So all I can do is an action once I get out.
- You can't ready a Misty Step?
'Cause if I Dimension Door you there,
you grab the stuff, Misty Step-
- That would be a bonus action and an action.
- Hm?
- Oh, you mean just a Misty Step?
- Yeah, you ready a Misty Step.
- Could I ready a bonus action instead of an action?
- I'll allow you to ready a bonus action
instead of an action. - Okay, cool.
Actually, I have my Mage Hand as well, is up.
I could just shove that in. That's 30 feet.
- Oh yeah. - Nice.
- Cool, so I'll ready an action to take the ballots,
and do we think we need to be doing
more damage or anything, or should I just-
- [Emily] Oh, you can also ready an action to attack him.
- No, we shouldn't let them have it. Okay.
- Do we get a sense that there's still...
I mean, he's still going after it, right?
Do we care about the ballots still?
- Yes. - There's also a world
where Porter's plan fails, and in his fury and rage at it,
he just kills everybody, you know?
What you're seeing doesn't strike you as,
things are gonna be good.
Even if you defeat his nefarious plan, you might still
be trapped in a burning Elmville with an angry giant.
- Right. (groans) Dammit.
Okay, so then yeah, the question is,
if I wanna do damage or if I wanna try to get the-
- Just 'cause it might change your math,
go ahead and roll that ally check now.
- Oh, great.
(die rolling)
13. - No.
- Okay, so just to be clear, if I were to Mage Hand,
and if I were to get the stuff in the ballot box...
Once they're officially in the ballot box,
we still need Mazey to count them.
- Yes, you still need Mazey to count them.
- That's the problem. - Okay.
- If we get it, I think we still-
- Okay, so it's not- - I think I'm better off
maybe shooting someone this turn, and next turn maybe-
- Cool, then why don't you just go ahead and shoot?
- Cool, then I'm just going to try to essentially
get in range to maybe shoot this Jace right here.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- [Murph] Do I have line of sight on Porter?
- Oh yeah, he's enormous. You can jump over there.
You can take the Stealth to get advantage.
- I will do that. - Hell yeah.
- He's within 10 feet of us, so that doesn't count as-
- [Brennan] That doesn't count as Sneak Attack.
- But I can hide first. - Oh, right.
- You can hide first. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Let me see. But long range is past 80.
Let's just make sure. You should be fine.
- [Murph] I can get to, like, here with-
- Oh great, yeah, if you can get there with movement,
then you'll be good to go. So you're gonna- yeah.
- [Murph] I'll go around this.
- [Brennan] It's just at the edge of your range.
- And then I will do a hide check.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Reliable Talent is a 24, I think.
Yeah, 24.
- Yeah, you get past his passive Perception for sure.
- Cool. And then I will take a shot.
Come on.
(dice rolling)
Ooh, not great, damn. Oh, Bless.
(die rolling)
Dirty 20?
- Dirty 20 hits. - [Emily] Yeah!
- You get the sense that this guy's thing
is not armor class, it's hit points.
- Yeah.
Come on!
Ooh, that's nice. We like to see those sixes.
36 damage.
- Ooh, doctor!
You also see that he can't use one of his reactions.
He has a parry reaction, but you have to be able
to see the attacker to be able to do that.
- Yes! - Rad.
- Gunshot, bam, in his side.
Where's that little shadow?
Riz, that is your turn. Bonus action, movement, gunfire.
At the end of your turn, Porter's gonna use
his last Legendary Action to swing at Adaine.
Let's get a Mirror Image roll.
Eight or higher does it.
(die rolling)
- That is a two.
- Okay, he is gonna swing at you, trying to get this bag.
That's cocked, and we honor the cock at this table.
- We honor the cock.
- We absolutely honor the cock.
- You know what honoring the cock gets you sometimes?
A natural one. - Wow!
- Unbelievable. - She's unhittable!
- Porter swings, I'm gonna say on a natural one,
you full arm-guard parry with the Sword of Sight, clang!
- [Siobhan] Why were you teaching at this school
when we're better than you? - I'm a big boy!
That is his Legendary Action.
Figueroth Faeth, that is your turn.
- Yes! - Okay, do I have the sense that
I could get within 60 feet, but cast a spell
centered under here so I don't necessarily see him?
I think what I wanna do is, I wanna cast Shatter on this
so that he falls into the lava.
- Ooh. - Mm.
- So that he takes damage. - Oh shit.
- But the floor also shatters, 'cause it's-
- Yeah.
- [Ally] And it's dipping forward, yeah.
- [Emily] Like a sphere.
- I will say, he's right on the edge. It's coming apart.
Let's do this. I'll make a deal with you.
- I am a warlock. - You are a warlock.
I'll allow you to do the Shatter tactically,
and what I'll say is, that section of floor
has 20 hit points, but Shatter-
- What's the PSI on this?
- Somebody goes to school for this-
- How long was this cured for? I don't know.
- Oh, I should do the ally check, too.
- [Brennan] Do the ally check.
14. - [Brennan] 14, close.
Close, close, close. - What is it at now?
- 17 or higher.
- I'll say that section of floor underneath him
has 27 hit points.
Shatter does double damage to objects.
I will allow you to double that double damage,
but it's gonna be a wallop on the gym.
It's sending a big, thunderous energy over the gym.
- I think I'm gonna just take the double damage.
- Cool, go for it. - Not double double damage.
- Also, if Buddy comes back, he's right here.
- That's why I'm hoping to get rid of it.
- That's smart as hell.
- I'm worried about killing Gorgug
if I do the double double damage.
- I have Fly on. - Oh, you have Fly on?
- If you're talking about me falling.
- I might kill K2 if I do double double damage.
- Don't do that to me. Don't do this to me.
I don't care.
- I think we need to do double double damage.
- Okay. - What I wanna do, though,
is I wanna center it on here and basically,
you can say no if I can't do this, but basically,
I know he's there, so I wanna center it on there,
but get out of line of sight when I cast the spell.
- [Brennan] So you wanna get to a place
where he can't Counter this spell, essentially, right?
- Yeah, but if you don't want that,
I also don't have to- - No, that makes sense.
Honestly, all you have to do is just...
Shatter doesn't require line of sight, so-
- I just want that area. - Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's no sweat, just literally pick an obstacle
to hide behind before you cast Shatter.
If it's this stone in the middle-
- [Emily] Oh, I'm so sorry, Kristen.
I think it's, like, here. (Ally screaming quietly)
- Yeah, great. Go ahead, get your character, get your mini.
Do you have the movement to get over there?
- I have a bonus action dash from my skateboard.
- Yeah, that should be great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You have 60 feet of movement. That'll get you 30 feet.
You might not get all the way there,
but I think you can definitely still get...
I think you might actually be able to get next to Riz
on just your movement, and that's within range.
You'll be hidden behind this chunk of debris,
and can get the spell off from there,
and then if you wanna bonus action move
after you cast the spell, you can do that.
- [Emily] Okay, cool. Yeah, I'll do that.
- Cool.
- Okay, I'm gonna upcast it to do double double damage.
Wait, double double damage?
Yeah, I'm gonna upcast it.
- Great. - Okay.
- I think we're gonna lose K2, though.
- Can't you just move it slightly
so K2 is not in the sphere? - No, the whole gym is-
- He's saying if I do double double damage,
it's gonna be uncontrollable. - Will we have to hope
that we get flying allies that come to our aid?
- If it takes out half the gym, who cares?
- Yeah.
- I'm just gonna do double damage.
Just to be clear, I used just my movement.
- You still have a bonus action, and you're side by side
with Riz, hiding behind that big old fucking-
- But I choose that point. - Exactly.
Yeah, it literally says a point you choose,
so you're good to go.
You're just hitting a chord on the bass
and fucking rocking out. - Yeah.
- You are going to do this a little bit more carefully
because of the insane chaos of the battlefield.
This has 27 hit points to drop it down,
but this does double damage normally,
so you just need to do 14 points of thunder damage
in order to drop them. - Okay.
- Yeah! - Come on.
- I'm gonna roll it one at a time.
- [Brennan] One. 13 points left.
(die rolling)
Two.
(die rolling)
- Oh my god! - One.
- So we're at three?
- We're at 4 out of 27. You have 23 points left.
(die rolling)
Okay, 16 points left.
(die rolling)
- 13 points left. - That's 13 points, right?
- Wait, isn't this- - Oh, sorry, yeah.
I was doing it to 23. You need 14.
- So one, two, three, four,
then a 7 becomes 11,
plus a 3 becomes 14! - 14!
- And I have one more d8,
which is 20.
- Nice! - 20 damage becomes 40 damage.
- That was so scary. - This Jace-
- My damage rolls this season are giving me a heart attack.
- Unbelievable. Okay. - And an ulcer.
- So you do 20.
He makes his save versus the Shatter,
so he takes 10.
But now I'm gonna need you to roll
18d10 lava damage.
- [Ally] You have the kid box, right?
(dice rolling)
Ha! Baccarat! - Yes, okay!
- Baccarat.
- He rolls a nat 20 on his save for the lava.
He'll take half damage.
- I got five ones already. Six ones!
- [Murph] Am I within 60 feet of him
as he falls in the lava? - As he falls in the lava,
you are within 60 feet of him.
- Silvery Barbs on the save. - [Siobhan] Nice!
- He fails the save. - Yes!
- Wow! - He fails the save.
- There we go. - Wow!
- Give somebody advantage.
- Fabian still has to make a death save,
because Fabian will go before Kristen.
- But I don't have as many fails.
- I'll give Fabian advantage. - Oh, thank you!
- I rolled really poorly, but I did get 69.
- Sick!
- So then why did you say you rolled poorly?
- Honestly, way more important.
- Why did you say you rolled poorly?
- Actually, I rolled as well as you can.
- I wanna point something out.
You've rolled as well as you can, 69.
I wanna point out,
he had 41 hit points, so that nat 20-
- [Emily] Yeah! - Unbelievable.
Fig, describe for me what happens.
The whole platform, boom, spins around with the force.
You can see it connected on a tether,
so really what you're doing more than anything
is coming in on top of it with thunder and smacking it
so that it flips and sends him tumbling into the lava.
Describe for me what happens. How do you cast the spell?
- I definitely take out my bass and do
just the gnarliest opening chords for "Dawn of Justice".
And you know what, why not?
I say, there's a place for you in Hell also.
- Wha? (screams)
It's weird, 'cause the dawn justice part,
I'm trying to map you out!
He gets sucked into the lava. He is no more.
Three of four Jaces down,
the last Jace flying in from over here.
Unbelievable. One by one, your enemies are fallen.
- I'm gonna use my bonus action to try to get closer,
to use the Dash action with the skateboard
to try and get closer to Adaine
so that we can maybe try and talk to Ankarna.
- Hell yeah. It's difficult terrain,
so I'm gonna say that you can get to this area down here
next to the fallen Hangman. - And Hangman's back up.
- Hangman's back up, so you can get to the Hangman,
and the Hangman can go right away.
- [Lou] Great.
- If you wanna move Fig somewhere,
or you want the Hangman to do anything.
- Okay, we'll start with the ally check,
or we'll start with this death saving throw.
- [Brennan] Here we go.
(dice rolling)
- [Lou] 17, still up.
- 17, still up. Okay, copy that.
- Bakur. - Mm-hmm.
- On a 14, or, excuse me- - Bakur, on a-
- 13. - ...13, 13 or higher.
- Don't use that die. Come on.
- No, I will, 'cause it can redeem itself.
- [Siobhan] Okay.
- 14! (players cheering)
- Unbelievable.
- It's the first time that die
has rolled over a three all season.
- Yeah, but now let's see if this was a big mistake.
- Bakur comes, kills me, eats K2.
- Okay, so- - Blimey.
- Kisses Mazey. - Blimey!
- Blimey! (chomps)
- Yeah, takes my girl, starts flirting with her.
- Is on the phone with your dad the whole time.
- Ignore the Aguefort Owlbears cap and the whistle.
This is Gorthalax, but for now, it'll be Bakur.
- We'll fix it in post.
- You want this sexy lady instead?
- What a perfect little detail.
- Yeah, maybe we should get her in there.
- She's so hot. (devils smooching)
- Oh wow! - That's D&D.
Okay, so rising out of the lava down here-
- (gasps) Right with Mary Ann! - Right with Mary Ann.
The gem fractures, and as it fractures,
you see Bakur turns and goes, "What is this place?"
You see Porter whips over and says, "Never you mind, Bakur.
We revive the goddess Ankarna."
And you see, wafting, sweet breath off of his mouth.
But you do get the sense that that Dispel
would be effective on that devil's honey.
- Oh, so he believes-
- The people here who are followers of Ankarna are Porter,
not really, but devil's honey,
and then Fig as the champion of Ankarna.
But Bakur is not going to act on this turn.
- I'm over here, Bakur!
- He delays his action, ready to join one side or the other
as soon as he can figure out what's going on.
- Okay, then we'll make an ally roll.
- Ally check. 17 or higher does the trick.
- Come on, come on!
- It's actually an Ally check.
If we get another Kristen.
- Ally Beardsley. 18! - 18.
- Oh shit! - I'm dead, but!
- You're making moves. - It's the least I could do.
- Because you're down right now,
give me another d4 roll. - Okay.
- That's the best knocked out turn I've ever-
- Yeah, right? - Quatro?
In Fabian's head, where does his mind go
as he reaches out for help?
'Cause these are actually mirrors opening up everywhere.
So Fabian, you're looking through mirrors in Elmville.
What are you looking for?
- I mean, I'm definitely looking
for health or aid in that way.
I think I'm thinking about Mazey.
I'm thinking about Dispels.
I'm thinking about Greater Restorations.
And then I'm probably thinking about Ragh,
and maybe Jawbone, because they were just with us.
- I'm gonna say you see all of them coming.
However, what you see coming through this space,
the doors of the gym that are floating off in space
suddenly bust wide open, boom,
and a gleaming light of a mirror.
Squeem. - Squeem!
(players cheering)
- Squeem! - Yes!
- You know what, I think all those things,
but then at the end of it is just Squeem.
- Squeem. - Hi, Squeem.
- Squeem has six cortados on a tray.
Squeem comes right in through here, going, "Squeem!"
with the cortados, holds up Fig's phone.
- Squeem, the bill on that has been insane.
- Squeem.
- Forgiven.
- Some weird dollar sign comes up in Squeem's chest
as he reloads the TracFone account in your phone.
And you see Squeem looks at Porter. He goes...
(rising pitch) Squeem!
- Ow!
- You see crystals everywhere, shattering.
Porter goes, "Ah!"
A shadow is cast from Porter, behind him,
and as the shadow grows longer,
Balthazar appears in shadow form,
and you hear him go, "Hey kids, what's for dinner?"
- Balthazar! - Balthazar!
- I guess they'll let anyone in here.
- I'm dead.
- It was pretty obvious you weren't dead.
- [Brennan] Balthazar appears in that moment.
- The greatest "Fantasy High" heroes of all time.
- [Brennan] Of all time, Squeem and Balthazar.
- Hit after hit! - Hit after hit.
What is the range, as Squeem appears in this moment, to-
- Chuck a cortado directly into my mouth?
- Yes, I'm actually gonna see.
If you're within 60 feet, it's on.
- [Emily] I think he is. I think he is.
- Yes, you are exactly 60 feet.
Mass Healing Word. This is gonna hit- - Whoa!
- Maybe me, too?
- This is gonna hit Fig, Hangman, Kristen, Fabian.
That is 13 points healed for
Fabian, Riz, Fig, Kristen.
Squeem! - I believe!
- [Brennan] As cortados fly from his hand.
- Oh! Tea cortado! Squeem?
(Brennan squeeming)
You came. (Brennan squeeming)
- Go ahead, and you may take your turn.
- Wow, what a thrill. I still have Fly on, right?
- Yeah. - I'm gonna fly up to Mazey
and even though I can do it at 120 feet,
I'm gonna do it as touch and cast 4th level Dispel Magic.
(players cheering)
- Hell yes. - Wow!
- Squeem, when this is over,
you're gonna live with Fabian, all right?
- Yeah! - Uh, of course, Squeem.
- Squeem, I'm gonna live with Fabian too!
- Squeem! - Bunk beds?
- Squeem!
Balthazar says, "Why don't you kids get a room, huh?"
- Balthazar! - You're too much.
- Balthazar!
- Bam, the shatter-star is destroyed, crushed, dispelled,
and vanishes, doesn't even rejoin the fight.
However, these two are gonna go right after you.
- Okay. I'll bonus action Second Wind.
- Cool. - I think that's gonna be it.
- Cool, unreal turn. Bakur, released.
Squeem and the rest of them have arrived.
- Oh, can I have Hangman...
Hangman, hold down the little one, the strawberry one!
Can he jump into the lava and grapple-
- Hell yes. Sire, yes! (players cheering)
Go ahead. She's gonna roll- - The strawberry one.
- I mean, she's so strong but, you know.
- Okay, she rolled a nat one,
and then an eight plus 11 is 19.
Hangman's got to beat a 19 on an Athletics check.
(die rolling)
- He does not do it. - Okay.
- How close is it? - Cutting Words.
I'm close enough to Cutting Words. Minus eight.
- Okay, did that beat an 11?
- Okay, he got a 10. I don't have a stat block.
- Hangman, plus three to Strength.
(players cheering)
- Unbelievable.
- My Cutting Words to her are,
you picked the wrong team, gorgeous.
- Truly perfect.
- [Brennan] As the Hangman, (roars) bam, hits her,
begins to push her down into the lava, she looks up at you-
- Sorry, can you put the hat on?
- Yeah, yeah. Who are you playing right now?
I can't totally tell. - I can't really tell.
It's hard to tell. - There we go.
(lava bubbling)
- Say it, don't spray it. (players cackling)
- Oh my god! - Incredible last words.
- Okay, I am gonna give- - Cutting Words to you.
- We are going to Revivify her.
- I'm giving a Bardic Inspiration. Hey, Fig?
Fig, don't listen to that. You don't spray anything.
- You weren't even spitting that much
when you were saying that. - You don't spray anything.
- You don't even spray that much.
- [Zac] Fig's dead. Fig is dead.
- [Lou] You don't spray anything, Fig!
- Fig's fucking dead. - But Fig, you have a Bardic.
- Unbelievable.
Okay, these shatter-stars are gonna go.
So Kipperlilly went down, but her shatter-star,
because of the nature of how it went into her body,
does not reemerge.
Buddy Dawn has one, but he's Banished right now,
and the other three came out.
Mary Ann is, on her turn,
gonna take the lava damage again,
but she's grappled underneath the lava by the Hangman.
So, these are gonna come for each of you.
One's coming for Mazey, one's coming for Fabian.
As you run up and touch Mazey and shatter this thing,
for a moment, the light of the shatter-star surrounds you.
Scintillating red energy.
What is Fabian feeling in this moment?
- Slightly turned on, but mostly,
whatever his version of German Shepherd mode is.
I think there's just a moment of just- - Aw!
- [Siobhan] Nice.
- Seeing the rage crystal, seeing it leave her,
I think, is just a deep relief.
- Mazey turns to you and says... (breathing heavily)
- Are you all right?
- [Brennan] Huge kiss.
Both of you will make these saving throws with advantage.
- Okay. - Aw!
- The power of kisses!
- [Brennan] The power of kisses.
- That's why I wanted them so badly!
- You see she looks at you and says,
"I do wanna be your girlfriend."
Go ahead and give me Wisdom...
Sorry, Charisma saving throws.
Two bards making Charisma saving throws!
- I can't believe I'm wearing a black lip while I do this.
Ugh, almost a 19. I got an 18.
- 18 saves.
You all watch as the shatter-stars are repelled
in this moment, both by the power of you two embracing
and this dispelling aura of the magic
that you just released, but also a little bit by the fact
that there is a display of protective anger here,
of the release, the relief, but also that desire
for these people to leave Mazey the fuck alone.
- Mm-hmm. - And that positive anger,
that combative, aggressive anger to push these away,
the shatter-stars are not able to close in on you and Mazey.
That is their turn. Kristen, that is your turn.
- Okay, great. - Porter goes after you.
- Fuck.
Kristen is going to
pull out the shards of Cassandra
and try to talk to her.
I wanna tell her that Ankarna is being fooled,
and that the person trying to bring her to this place
is betraying her and is going to try to kill her.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- I think I'm gonna hop down. I'm flying.
- Yeah. - To Fig.
And maybe together, we could do this.
- Oh yeah.
- Yeah, I wanna hold the shards in my hand,
and me and Fig as the two people of these two gods.
- Hell yeah. - Reach out to them.
- I have shards in my hand as well.
- Nice. - Hell yeah.
- I would like to reach out and cast Dispel Magic on Porter.
- Okay. - And maybe,
if you can ask Ankarna to ask him another question,
because now we've made it so that he can't lie to her.
- Yeah. - Sick as hell.
This is gonna be a Dispel Magic check.
You're casting at a distance. Porter goes next.
This is a very powerful magical item,
but the DC on dispelling it is not very high.
It's just a DC 15. - Okay.
- You are rolling your Wisdom,
so you need a 10 or higher on this roll.
K2 also has this round, or this action.
- Okay, cool.
- This is definitely Box of Doom,
as you go for the shards of twilight.
- Come on. - [Siobhan] Come on.
(die rolling)
- [Brennan] Seven. - [Ally] Ugh, okay.
- You have Lucky, right?
- I do. I have one more Luck roll.
- [Brennan] One more Luck roll.
- What about Human Determination, too?
- Yeah.
- Okay, you have both of those.
You can do Human Determination and you can do Luck.
- Okay, I'll do Human Determination.
- [Brennan] Cool.
- Okay.
(die rolling)
- Six. - Okay, okay.
- This is Luck. - This is Luck.
This is the final one. - This is Luck.
- This is all just setup for K2 to get it.
- Should I just move to K2? - You wanna just do K2 now?
- Yeah, now it's K2. - Now it's K2? Okay, great.
- K2 doesn't know why, but she's being compelled
to cast Dispel Magic, and she farts and says blimey.
(die rolling)
- No. (Murph cackling)
- Was it a crit? - It was a crit!
- Is it a crit? Is it a crit?!
- It's a crit. - Oh my god!
- [Brennan] Here's your die.
- She farts and says blimey?
- I don't need this anymore.
- Zac, we need you! - [Brennan] What's the fucking point?
- [Siobhan] Get in there. - Zac!
- Why didn't you just have Kristen do...
- Brennan! Brennan, go get some water.
Zac, you got this.
- Brennan, words have power.
- She farts and says blimey?
- She's also invisible,
so we just hear a fucking loud-ass fart.
- [Lou] Is it weird that I feel like
this is what most DMs look like?
- Show's over. We're wrapping up.
We're wrapping it up. Wrapping it up!
- He said this is what most DMs look like.
- British Kristen.
You're in the gym.
- I feel like I'm watching Twitch right now.
- Eight to nine strangers. - Yeah.
- You're not really sure what's going on.
You're sitting by the bleachers, completely invisible.
- You just watched your crush kiss another girl.
- Yeah.
- You're feeling heartbroken
as you see a version of yourself try to compel-
- Absolute fucking horseshit.
- And you see some sorta, she's trying to do something
to this guy over here, whoever he is.
He's huge.
- And I had a Hot Cheeto burrito for lunch.
- Yeah, your stomach is gurgling.
- Did you say a Hot Cheeto burrito?
- Yeah.
- Burrito, just cheese, Hot Cheetos?
- Yeah. - [Zac] And beans.
- Yeah, and beans. So many beans.
- [Zac] It's gurgling within you. - Uh-huh.
- Something's off. - Uh-huh.
- What are you thinking about?
- I think that K2,
her parents got divorced.
We all know that. - We all know that.
- [Ally] Not Kristen's parents, but K2's parents.
- [Siobhan] Brennan, you don't wanna take
the frog hat and the strawberries?
- Are you getting out of here? - Thank you.
- Is there something extra special that happens
with the amazing crit from K2 farting?
- Oh yeah, I need a ride home. Yeah, that's what happens.
- [Siobhan] But you drove here!
- [Emily] I wanna hear what- - [Ally] You drove here.
- K2, you get six spells back.
- Oh my god, thank you. Oh my god, thank you!
- Any level.
- I'm sorry, what do you say as you cast Dispel Magic?
- As K2 farts and says blimey and casts Dispel Magic,
afterwards, she looks around,
because she only has a few spells left,
and she doesn't get these back, you know?
- No, right.
- She doesn't regenerate those,
so she's actually about to become just like a normal person.
- Mm.
- And I think she uses five of her movement
to sit down on these bleachers,
and she pulls out her vape that she's addicted to,
and she just thinks,
this is so bad for me, and I'm not even human.
And she stands up heroically, takes 15 feet of movement,
and she throws the vape into the lava.
- Wow. - And she quits.
(correct buzzer ringing) (Murph laughing)
And she says, vaping is bad.
Cotton candy lung, popcorn lung is real,
and that won't be me.
- That's a really good message.
- [Ally] Oh, Brennan, are you back?
- Turns out my Uber's not gonna be here for four hours.
- Okay great, okay great,
so we can finish this really quick?
- [Brennan] We can finish this really quick.
- You got an Uber double XL? - I have a quick question.
Does K2 ripping ass have a Shatter spell effect?
- Under her own thing, and kills her.
- I'm gonna say, this is true.
What's true is this.
Can you just do me a favor and roll another d20,
if Kristen had used Lucky?
I just wanna see something. - Yeah, let's see. Right here?
- Yeah, do it right here. - Here we go.
Kristen rolling with Luck. - Kristen rolling with Lucky.
- Ah, nothing's working. 15.
- Okay, Kristen would've gotten it.
- Not as much as K2, though. - Yeah!
- When you watch this, go back and watch, as it hits 20,
Brennan, just as swiftly and quietly as possible, go, "No."
(tape rewinding)
- No. (Murph cackling)
(tape rewinding)
(slo-mo) No. (Murph cackling in slo-mo)
(tape fast forwards)
- Have them punch in really tight.
- It's not okay- - Intercut this whole conversation
with Brennan going, "No." - We all saw those two,
and we all had the same thought, right?
We all thought with those two failures,
we're waiting for K2 to step up-
- Here's the issue.
- It was in the air the same way that when-
- We absolutely knew it was gonna happen.
- And I'm not talking about K2's fart.
It was in the air with the Divine Intervention.
We just knew for sure it was gonna happen.
- We knew.
- [Emily] And then this one's the same thing.
- 'Cause when you say to a comedian,
if this happens, I'm quitting the job I'm insanely good at,
it's going to happen.
It's too funny not to happen.
- Here's the issue. Here's where I'm pissed.
- Uh-huh?
- How else is this spell supposed to work,
other than hilariously?
When they were writing the Player's Handbook,
and they were like, oh, you can make a spellcasting clone
of a player out of snow, and it hangs out and helps-
- And I can't cast this spell again, because if I do,
it will kill K2, which is murder.
- Which is murder! - That's fully murder.
I can never do this again until K2 dies.
- The idea that this spell would have
any function in any adventure
other than absolutely fucking gut-bustingly hilarious is-
- [Siobhan] Yes.
- I cannot believe that she crit.
When your face fell, I was like, she passed.
But then it lasted for so long, I was like, she crit!
- We got it in the Box of Doom. It was a natural 20.
So, okay, everything that was narrated, we honor.
We honor the cock. - [Lou] Are we going to leave these here?
- Oh, and I think K2 got six spells back.
- [Ally] Oh yeah, I believe, yeah.
- Well, here's what I'm gonna say.
On a critical, having also successfully
Divine Intervened today- - Today!
Like, three hours ago. - Back from the dead.
- Cassandra grants K2
true life.
She is no longer a Simulacrum.
Cassandra fully makes her real,
and brings her to our world,
the world of us, the real people playing this game.
- I'm sorry, here? - K2 is in Earth now.
- Wow, she's in England. - She's in England.
- I am gonna buy a gun. I'm terrified.
- K2 in Paris? - Unsleeping City: K2.
First place she goes, Austin.
- She's like, keep Austin weird!
- Kristen, as you see K2 leaving from this dimension,
the devil's honey,
like poison from Porter's mouth dispelled,
Divine Intervention, K2 is a fully real person.
She's real, looks at Kristen.
What does Kristen say as she locks eyes with K2,
and what does K2 say in return?
- Sorry, just to understand, K2 is leaving Spyre
because K2 is entering our, the players', real Earth?
- Yes. On a nat 20 and a successful Divine Intervention,
this snow clone is leaving the fiction
and is joining us here in reality.
Otherwise, I'm gonna go crazy.
- [Siobhan] We'll make Kristen 3 after this, don't worry.
- I do think that Kristen does start crying,
because it was really nice to have a sister.
- Jesus! (players laughing mockingly)
- Gilear?
- [Siobhan] The curse has been passed down from
generation to generation. - Can I turn on the bubble wand?
- [Siobhan] You just have to, you have to.
- [Ally] It's that kinda night.
- This is K2's arcane focus. - It's taking so long.
- Taking so long. Oh, there we go!
- This does have Twitch energy.
Whoever said that was totally right.
- [Lou] Watch out, it will leak on you.
(bubble wand machinery grinding)
- That's her vape! - Feel better, Brennan?
Are you feeling any better?
- I feel a lot better. Let's rewind all the way back.
We're gonna bring the energy back in.
- Yeah, okay. - K2, nat 20.
K2 still has some spells to cast, right?
I won't mechanically penalize you
by vaporizing your Simulacrum
if she still has battle-significant things to do.
- She has heals.
- [Brennan] She has heals and stuff like that.
- If you will let her, as she leaves this earth,
bless the amount of heals that she could have done
in the next couple rounds on people that need it,
she could just disappear.
- I think honestly- how many spell slots does she have left?
- I haven't been keeping the best track of her side,
but I know she at least has four Cure Wounds
that she could do. - Okay.
- And she could upcast them to 3rd level, also,
so pretty good Cure Wounds.
- I'll leave her on the battlefield for right now.
On that nat 20, K2 is granted true life.
She is fully granted true life.
She is now her own person, and she can get spells back,
so K2 is now just a human cleric
that has a memory of your life, but in England.
- Can I ask one super unhelpful question?
- Yeah, go for it. - Oh, right!
That's where she can go with her real life.
- Does this mean she can actually get pregnant?
- Oh my god. - Yeah.
- She will not automatically trigger
nearby pregnancy tests to test positive.
She is capable of, you know,
it depends on whatever Kristen's anatomy is.
It just mirrors that. - Cool.
- But in a British way. - Of course.
- So they drive on the wrong side of the street.
- [Brennan] Yes, exactly.
- The egg is on the other side.
- [Brennan] The egg's on the other side of the ovary, yeah.
- One more question. Does she still have Concentration?
- She still has Concentration, yeah.
- Okay, great. That's important.
- That's everything we need to know.
- You see, as she reaches out and Dispels,
and you join in that dispelling,
I'm gonna let you also burn that Lucky point,
succeed along with her, and regain that Lucky point.
- Cool.
- So both of your magics intertwine,
and you see Bakur, the pit fiend, staring at Porter,
and you see, in the lava where he stands,
bubbling with a hellhound wrestling with a barbarian in it,
the magic intertwines, and you see a hand of twilight reach.
It's like the smoke from the lava
turns into indigo smoke of an arm reaching in,
and it grasps the fiery light of the lava there,
and you see Cassandra's face from the storm clouds overhead
go to the side of Bakur's ear,
and you see it says,
"Think.
Can it be true,
or is there not some doubt in your mind
that this vision
of the followers that betrayed you once before
might betray you yet once again?"
Bakur draws a fiery whip and an enormous sword and goes,
"Enemy of the goddess!" pointing directly at Porter,
and will join the fight on your side.
- Yes! - Oh, can I do an ally check?
What are we at? - Yeah, give me an ally check.
You're still at 17 and higher, yeah.
- 13. - Cool. So, you cast that.
Truly fucking unbelievable. - I will just say,
I know I say that Kristen is crying and very moved.
I think that she does want a sister,
but it definitely doesn't have to be this person.
- For sure. - You're my sister.
- Yeah, exactly. Exactly. - K2, fully granted true life,
looking sort of like real boy, genie freed from the lamp,
as Cassandra moves around K2 and says,
"What greater mystery than my prophet,
fashioned by the Elven Oracle from purest snow,
given the memory of being raised in a far off land,
in a different dimension, coming here,
and having farted so hard that a spell was broken?
That's pretty fucking mysterious."
- You heard that?
I'm so embarrassed.
I'm Kristen Two. And then she bows.
But she's invisible. But maybe you can see her.
M'lady.
Hot Cheeto burrito.
- Porter goes, "Enough!" and is gonna take his turn.
- Wow. - Porter levels his maul
at Balthazar and disintegrates him.
- What? No!
- Balthazar!
- Balthazar! His parrots!
- Like the spell Disintegrate? - The spell Disintegrate.
- I can't lose you twice!
- Is he okay? What's going on over there?
- Squeem? - Guys, what's for dinner?
- [Brennan] Squeem goes, "Squeem!"
- What about his peacocks? Or is he the one with parrots?
- He has parrots. - Oh no, his parrots!
- His parrots! - His parrots?
- Oh no. - [Brennan] His parrots.
- All his parrots. - His parrots!
- [Brennan] And then I'm going to need-
- We never followed up with them.
- We had to assume-
- Do you guys remember Balthazar
ever doing anything on any of our adventures?
- [Siobhan] Yes, I remember-
- Or was he just kind of so casual about-
- He borrowed money from me.
- He talked a lot of wise, which I really enjoyed.
- He would just kinda show up and be so confident.
- So many fireside aphorisms. - He had that big wine bag.
- Yeah, he knew a lot of card tricks,
and if you got cornered by him, you had to watch them all.
- The amount of surprise
that your face had to hold for that long-
- You can only be so surprised.
- I remember he did hang onto something once,
and then it looked like he was gonna do something,
and then it flung him off, and he kinda raised up,
and was like, "Well, that was a rough one!"
And then he stayed there, though.
- I'm gonna need Dexterity saving throws
from Gorgug and Adaine.
- Okay. Do we get Dex saves with the Ice Feast?
Or is it just Constitution? - No, it's just Constitution.
(die rolling)
- 19, and if it doesn't seem like that will pass,
I will use a d8.
- I got a 17.
- You have not seen 19 succeed in the past
on some of these saving throws.
- 24.
- Okay. Gorgug saves, Adaine does not.
Adaine, you take-
- And this is not Mirror Image, right?
'Cause it's an area of effect? Great.
- [Brennan] 48. You take 58 points of force damage.
- I'm down. - Gorgug, you take half that.
You take 29 points of force damage. - I'm also down.
- Porter raises up (roars)
and just growing tired of the Mirror Image,
he just is whirling in a maelstrom of blows.
Gorgug, you fall. Yeah, Fly is no longer.
Adaine, you go down with the votes in your hand.
You are on this platform over here.
Porter says, "You think you can stop me?
Stop me only for a time. I will rend the world asunder!
And even if she doesn't believe me,
I will let the world burn instead of losing."
You see that the gym comes even further apart.
- Want me to pull on it?
- [Brennan] Yeah, and this is gonna tip.
Yeah, we're kinda doing an angle-y thing.
- Can you imagine what the art team's face
looks like while we do this?
- I know, that's why I stopped doing that
every time I touched it. - Please don't, please don't.
- [Brennan] Gorgug, you slide off,
hit this for one death save fail
as you take falling damage. - [Lou] Ooh, no.
- [Brennan] I'm gonna need, actually,
a Dex save from K2.
- Does she have my Dex? - Yes.
- [Emily] No, she just got life!
- That's a three.
- Cool. She takes 17 falling damage.
She does not go into the lava.
But I will need a Concentration check for the Banishment.
- It's honestly horrifying that she's alive now.
- [Murph] Ice Feast, advantage.
- Nat 20. - Unbelievable.
- And a nat one. - Cool.
- And a nat one. She has spicy dice.
- And I'll need Dex save from Fabian and Mazey, as well.
(die rolling)
- 15.
- 15 makes it. - Great.
- And Mazey also makes a 15.
So as these continue to fly
in wild, crazy directions everywhere,
Kristen falls, Gorgug falls.
Adaine, this one is still down here.
- Kristen falls? Or Adaine? - [Ally] K2.
- Oh. - [Brennan] K2.
Mary Ann, beginning of her turn.
Someone roll 18d10.
- We got it right here. - [Brennan] Got it right here.
(dice rolling)
- Come on, 69! - Okay. (clears throat)
- The only villain I wanna Revivify.
- We did it to Ragh, we can do it to her.
We're just collecting barbarians.
- Barbarians, they can be redeemed.
- Porter is a good guy. - Well, he's a paladin.
- It's the paladin in him that's making him-
- Exactly.
- 97 damage.
- Deep under the lava, the Hangman returns.
Mary Ann is no more. - Yes.
- Doggy paddling. - Doggy paddling back out.
Adaine Abernant, that is your turn.
- Great. I'll do a death save.
- Death saving throw. - Oh boy.
(die rolling)
- That's a fail. - [Murph] Yikes.
- And then I'll do an ally check, I guess.
- Hell yeah. - [Ally] Oh, nice.
- That's also a fail.
- You two guys are down? - Yeah.
- Porter, Legendary Action, your turn,
swings out and hits Bakur.
That's Porter's Legendary. That's Adaine's turn.
That is going to be Mazey.
Mazey looks at you, Fabian,
goes, (panting) "Shit, what should we do?"
- I think, should we take out these shatter-stars and then-
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yes, Mazey is going to wail on these shatter-stars.
Woo! Two hits,
one of them a critical.
- Ra-ta-ta-ta-ta!
- [Brennan] She destroys one of the shatter-stars.
- Sick! - Madame President!
- And because she used her attacks,
as a bonus action, Healing Word to Gorgug.
- Yeah, okay, I was hoping she might do that!
- [Brennan] That's gonna be seven hit points
healed to Gorgug. - Oh, goddammit.
- Is that the third time coming back?
- I don't know.
- This Jace is finally gonna get to close.
- I forgot about that Jace. - Last little Jace here.
- A squeaky gym door opens. - He's gonna go right here
and go for a Dex save for Fabian and Mazey.
(die rolling)
- Oh, so close. 13.
- Mazey fails as well.
- Oh, and I'm Blessed. One second.
(die rolling)
15!
- Fabian and Mazey, you each take...
Ooh, bad roll, bad roll. 6, 10.
You each take 16 points of lightning damage.
- I go down. - Okay, Fabian goes down.
Mazey is looking fine. - That's all that matters.
- Gorgug, that's your turn. - Oh, shit.
Should I start hitting him? - I think so.
- I'm just gonna, from here,
take three attacks on Porter.
- Cool. Well, you gotta rage, right?
- To frenzy, right? - Yeah, rage to frenzy.
- I see, I see. I will...
Shit, I guess I gotta go into a rage,
and I just hope he doesn't shoot me with a ray.
Okay, that's a 30 to hit, or 29 to hit.
- 29 hits.
- And then I'm just gonna do the second attack.
Okay, that's a 21 to hit.
- [Brennan] 21 hits.
- Okay, so that's just two hits.
- Go ahead and roll damage.
(dice rolling)
- Okay, that's 17 plus
22.
- Yeah.
- 11, 'cause of the fire (indistinct).
- 17 plus 22? 39, hell yes.
Bam, bam. The axe thuds into him. (roars)
Any bonus actions from Gorgug?
- Going into the rage was- - Going into the rage, yes.
He's gonna keep swinging on Bakur.
He's gonna use another Legendary Action. That is a hit.
- I thought he was out of-
- [Brennan] His turn started again, so they refreshed.
- Oh, I gotcha. Oh my god, it's per turn.
- Yep. He feels your blows.
He's just looking at this-
the other- the high fiend,
celestial of his goddess, "his goddess," I should say,
and just wailing on this fiend before it can take its turn.
Gorgug, that's your turn. That is Riz Gukgak.
- Sweet, keep it simple. Hide and shoot Porter.
- Cool. - [Emily] Yeah!
- Go off, Rizzy D.
- Oh, baby. 29 to hit.
- 29 hits.
- Rizzy G. Jar Jar Binks.
- Ooh, not pretty, not pretty.
- Jar Jar Binks.
- Meesa so sorry, darling.
- Just 23 on that one.
- Bam, fire off, as it hits Porter in the side.
End of your turn, he swings and hits Bakur again,
using his third Legendary Action.
- Did you make an ally roll? - Oh.
- Oh, I did not either.
- [Brennan] Go ahead and make those rolls.
- Dos ally rolls. - 17 or higher.
(die rolling)
- Yes! - Oh?
- 18. - 18! Sick as hell.
Coming in through the door by Squeem,
Sandra Lynn, Jawbone, Ragh and Lydia
all rush into the gym as a giant mirror opens.
Fig, that's gonna be your turn.
- Sandra Lynn, Adaine! - Got it, sweetie.
- [Emily] Can I get to Porter,
or do I need to use my skateboard?
- With your skateboard, you can get there, yes.
- Okay, then I'm gonna do that,
and I'm gonna try and hit him.
- Hell yes. Go ahead and give me an attack roll.
- I look at Bakur with a knowing nod.
Be like, yeah dude, we're in this together.
I'm rolling my Bless first. - Here we go.
(die rolling)
- Does a 22 hit? - 22 hits.
- Yes!
- 22 hits. - Okay!
- I'm gonna do a 4th level Smite.
He hurt one of my friends, so I'll get an extra d8,
and this is a Booming Blade, so I'll take...
I'm gonna roll it proper,
so I'm gonna roll just the Smite first.
(dice rolling)
Okay, I'll take it. - [Ally] Jawbone?
- [Zac] Jawbone's little golden glasses. Look at them.
- [Siobhan] Yeah. - [Brennan] Look at those.
- Jawbone is ripped. - [Lou] He came in in werewolf mode?
- 37 damage. - [Murph] Nice.
- [Brennan] 37 damage to Porter. (Emily screams)
Hell yes. Unbelievable. Okay. - Does the plus two weapon,
'cause I have a plus two weapon now,
does that add to damage as well?
- Yes, it is. - Then 39!
- Unbelievable. (grunting)
You deliver a mighty injury to Porter (roars)
as he turns to face you.
"I'm not having that."
That is your turn, Fig. Fabian, that is your turn.
(die rolling)
- 11, so a success. - 11, a success.
- Oh, I didn't do an ally check.
- [Brennan] Do an ally check.
- 17. - 17! You see-
- Any allies left? - Balthazar reappears.
- Whoa! - You old son of a-
- I guess they'll let anyone in here.
- You old bitch!
- Hey, don't send me there again.
I can't feel or see anything.
- This is why we keep you around!
- Unbelievable, okay. - I do PLUR with Balthazar.
- [Emily] Yeah!
- [Brennan] Fabian.
- He's loaded up with bracelets.
- Ally check from you. - Did you die and get more?
- Nat 20. - Ooh!
- All I have to do is be dead, and I can roll anything.
- Fabian, standing over your body,
Mazey goes, "No, Fabian!" grabbing your body.
The Jace standing over you goes,
"Not bad for an illusionary double."
And behind that Jace you hear, bam!
Blood comes out of his chest as Agent Cuspin Clark
runs up and says, "No more illusory doubles,"
and fires a gun directly into his back.
- Yes, yes!
- Everyone in this gym is under arrest!
- Shoot that way. - Shoot that way!
Bakur is going to go.
Go ahead and give me three attack rolls, Fabian, for Bakur.
(dice rolling)
Plus 14 to each.
- Plus 14? - Yes.
- 27.
- 30. - 30. 21.
- Bakur, bam, bam!
These two giants smashing together here in the hall.
The Hangman can also go on your turn.
- The Hangman will go
and give Fig the Help action.
- Hell yeah. - Thank you.
- Great. Fig gets the Help action from the Hangman.
- [Emily] Thank you.
- Runs to her side.
- I scratch him. - [Lou] Yes.
- Little hell puppy.
- [Brennan] Shatter-star attacks and drops Mazey.
Mazey and Fabian are both down, atop this tilting platform.
- We're in each other's arms. - [Brennan] In each other's arms.
- Romeo and Juliet. Except you're much older than them.
- Yes, we're much older.
- [Brennan] Sandra Lynn, hearing her daughter,
swoops in on Baxter, leaps off of her mount
next to Adaine, is gonna cast Cure Wounds.
- [Emily] Sandra Lynn! Also Fabian!
I didn't know he was down!
- I gotta pick one, sweetie!
- Okay, yeah.
- [Brennan] That's gonna be 12 hit points healed to Adaine
as Sandra Lynn leaps beside you with Baxter.
Baxter's gonna go and close with Porter. (caws)
- Whoa. Careful, Baxter. - Baxter rules.
- It takes a village.
- And the rest of the gang is gonna
start taking move actions.
Lydia, Ragh, and Jawbone begin to leap
from platform to platform.
You see Ragh stomps on the back of the platform
to turn it into a ramp,
and Lydia fucking takes off through the air.
She skids through down here.
Ragh gets here as well,
all of them joining on this lower platform.
All of them land here in a cluster.
That is going to be Adaine Abernant.
- Oh, it's my turn.
- It's your turn, and you are up, healed by Sandra Lynn.
- Thanks, Sandra Lynn.
I am going to do something
which is somewhat of an act of faith,
which Adaine is not very good at.
But she has faith in her friends, and maybe that's enough.
She's gonna cast Detect Thoughts
using the weird earworm that Fabian gave her
within a 30 foot radius, which I believe includes
Kristen, Fig, and Porter.
- Okay.
- And Bakur as well. - Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
- So, in the wording of this earworm,
each time you use the earworm
to cast the Detect Thoughts spell,
it sends the information gleaned
to the nearest extra-planar creature.
- Oh my god.
- Which I'm assuming means Ankarna.
- That is correct. Okay, so-
- And the devil's honey has been- - Has been dispelled.
So, you cast Detect Thoughts.
He's gonna make a Wisdom saving throw.
- Great. - Unbelievable intersection-
- I tell my friends to purposefully fail the save.
- [Brennan] His Wisdom is not-
- The guy at the mall didn't say anything about this.
- And I don't think he would use...
I don't think he knows this enough
to use a Legendary Resistance on it.
I don't think he would. He doesn't see it...
It's not a harmful thing. - And it's a DC 18.
- Does he even know that the honey's effect is gone?
- [Siobhan] Wait, it's a DC 15.
- Yeah, that's a great point. Okay.
- It's a lower DC than mine,
'cause it's coming from the worm, so it's a DC 15.
- [Brennan] DC 15, okay.
- I cannot take the worm out of my head.
- He needs a 12 or higher to beat it.
- Great.
- I do think you get surface thoughts no matter what.
- You do, but I would like to get deep on everybody.
- 16 on the die. - Can I use my flashbang?
- Oh shit! - Yes!
- We haven't seen this ability yet! Yes!
- I just throw something in his face to distract him,
and it's minus a d8.
- So this is gonna be- a five or higher on the d8 does it.
(die rolling)
That is a six! - Yes! Yes!
- At the end of it all, you see Adaine standing there,
hands up, reaching into his mind
as he tries to slay this champion of Ankarna.
He looks at you from behind,
standing on the other side of him,
as he raises his hammer up.
One of the things you made combining two disciplines
that you were told could never be brought together,
a small little flashbang grenade, a humble gadget.
Describe for me what happens as you take it off your vest.
- I pull it off, take the little pin out,
look to Porter and smile at him.
I come out of rage. - Incredible.
- I throw it to him and say,
hey, don't be blinded by rage. (explosion)
- (roars) You fool!
You get this image of him
slitting his goddess's throat,
holding up her head,
and ascending to the throne of deity-hood, and are able,
as the Elven Oracle, to cast that out into space.
- I say, is this justice? Is this a new dawn?
- The pit fiend beside you, (gasps) chest splits open
as a golden-armored high elf steps out.
You see the champion of Ankarna standing right here,
having just smote Porter in the chest.
You see the wound left by Fig's bass,
the Bass of Night's Ending,
the wound begins to grow and grow on his chest.
In this moment, I'm gonna give us the possibility
of ending this battle right now.
Everybody here is going to participate in this
as a cleric of Ankarna for this moment.
This incredibly clever play,
the unwinnable battle that you have soldiered through,
the fact that Porter is very soon to act again on his turn
and maelstrom everybody that is surrounding him.
Everyone is going to roll a Divine Intervention
as though you were a cleric of your level.
If a Divine Intervention is achieved in this moment,
Porter will be sundered by his goddess in this very instant.
Otherwise, he will have a chance for a last stand here.
We'll go one by one, rolling in the Box of Doom.
This is an incredibly clever play.
- K2 gets to roll, right?
- If I prevented K2 from rolling-
- Should we go least impactful to most?
- Yeah, let's start with K2.
- [Brennan] All right, K2 is gonna roll Divine Intervention.
- Let's just knock this out, you know what I'm saying?
- Please just do it right away.
(die rolling)
- Eight, no. - Yeah.
- All right, that's not K2. - Fuck.
- [Brennan] Anyone else wanna roll Divine Intervention?
- So I gotta get a one, basically?
- [Brennan] You gotta get a zero or a one.
- Okay.
(die rolling)
- Three. No, all right. - I got it.
- [Brennan] Here you go, Fabian.
(die rolling)
That's a zero. - That's a zero.
- [Brennan] Now, as long as you don't roll another zero.
- Okay. As long as I don't roll another zero?
- Don't roll a 10 on the tens.
- 'Cause that would be a 100.
(die rolling)
That's an eight. - Yes!
- That is a Divine Intervention.
If anyone else wants to roll
just to see what they would've gotten, feel free.
But also, we know that we've got at least one.
- No. - No.
(die rolling)
- I don't think I wanna know.
Let that be a mystery. - A mystery!
The scene we see set before us.
Adaine, standing here,
as ever an oracle, showing people the truth.
Ankarna can see this, in this moment.
Fig, standing with the bass in your hand
next to this massive pit fiend,
squaring up and fighting your teacher
that you have known since freshman year
was a villain.
Kristen, with the shards of twilight in your hand,
commanding her in this space,
you have already called upon her
and seen her move upon the face of this world.
Riz, all the way from the other side of the gymnasium,
across the floor, your gun in your hand,
taking shot after shot across the vastness here.
You watch Gorgug, who in this moment,
uses this little gadget to make the difference
between success and failure,
between saving the world or watching as it ends.
But only one of our Bad Kids is unconscious.
- Oh, a dream, unconscious state,
making you more suggestible.
- You feel Mazey holding your hand.
You hear, "You know,
it's really, really nice,
all the things you've said
in dance class and at the study sessions.
I know you're like the most popular kid at school,
but I feel like all the jock stuff and the Owlbear stuff,
famous pirate for a dad, famous elven swordswoman for a mom,
famous adventures every year at Aguefort,
you make such a difference
just in all the ways you take care of people.
All the people at your house
that feel like they're part of something cool
because you set things up for them to feel that way.
That's, like, who you really are, I think.
I wish we'd gotten a chance
to lose our virginities to each other."
And you realize that as you lay here dying,
you are going to lose your chance to lose your V card
to someone who really, genuinely cares about you.
And you feel, from the lava, "No!"
Fig, you feel something
asking to be released from the Bottomless Pit.
"Let me into the world! There is an injustice here!"
- I'm the bouncer, and you're fucking coming in.
- (roars) Light erupts from behind Fig.
The Dawn of Justice!
The question posed by the Elven Oracle.
You hear a voice saying,
"To the question posed by the oracle, not of the elves,
but the oracle of all peoples,
no, it is not just."
Fabian, a light appears,
and a dawn goddess,
striding across mountains, says,
"It is not right
that two such teenagers
should find each other
and lose their chance at this wondrous moment,
for the sake of a bitter, vengeful,
foolish, idiot liar!"
And a sword wider than the gym cuts Porter in half.
Divine Intervention. Porter Cliffbreaker is no more.
(players cheering)
And with that, we come out of combat,
as the last Jace is arrested. (players laughing)
- Just quietly arrested. - Quietly arrested.
- He was Hilda Hilda the whole time!
- (gasps) He was able to transform!
- You see Cuspin turns to look at you.
There's a little bit of devil's honey
on the ground in front of you.
- He was Hilda Hilda!
- You're going away for 3,000 years, you motherfucker!
What? No, I'm not Hilda Hilda!
I don't even know who that is!
Nice try, motherfucker!
- He lives at Hilda Hilda Street and Hilda Hilda Place!
- You know, usually I like people getting credit
for my work, but that one kinda hurts.
I'm Hilda Hilda! And I run.
- He looks around.
You see he kicks Jace into the lava. "No!"
And he goes, "I'll get you, Hilda Hilda!
I'll get you if it's the last thing I do!"
- Why is he chasing Fig when he was Hilda Hilda?
Fully believing my own lie. - Incredible.
All of your friends and family gather 'round,
and you are all enveloped in golden light.
This weird other realm is still coming through
from this place, and all of you feel the cool touch
of twilight and of the dawn, the two times
of the changing of day to night and night to day.
- Golden hour. Everybody looks so hot.
- Everybody looks so hot. - We should take selfies.
- You feel the realm still flying apart,
Elmville still flying apart, and as the light fades,
all of you find yourself walking in darkness.
All of you feel yourself scattered.
The dead bodies of the Rat Grinders, the Hangman.
You see, flying through space, Bakur,
this elf gets blasted into the body of this pit fiend,
and you see Lydia looking and being like, "It's you!"
leaping through the air.
You see Ragh looking,
trying to grab Jawbone, Sandra Lynn, Baxter.
You're all spread, and you find yourself in this world,
the world behind you of spines and crystals and lava,
and you can hear something far off in the distance
like a deep, weeping voice
and a cool breeze moving through this place,
searching, searching, searching for something.
As you are all here, moving through this space,
trying to find each other again in this moment,
I will ask each of you
what it is you encounter in this space.
A memory of something unfair
that you accepted, that you regret accepting.
A memory of a missed opportunity that you had
to let somebody know how you really feel.
This is a world of rage and anger,
but you see moments flashing in the crystals around you
of the thin line between justice and anger,
the thin line between learning to have the wisdom
to accept what cannot be changed,
versus the courage to change what can be changed.
All of you see different areas of time.
You could go to memories from the past,
or to this very present moment
with something that is unaddressed.
As you journey through this realm,
who's the first person that finds something?
- I think, you know, having just killed Porter,
I think Gorgug remembers
those earlier conversations he had with Porter,
and thinks back to when he was trying to argue with him,
or just ask him to let him take other classes.
- You go back to that moment, and you see Porter
standing before you, going, "I'm not interested.
You clearly haven't applied yourself
in your barbarian classes.
Without an effort here,
I see no reason to allow you to do this thing."
And you see that moment of you
basically accepting someone telling you
that you had to take four years of school in a year.
- I think Gorgug thinks back to this
and thinks what he wishes he would've said
was just that, you know,
if you talk about my potential,
and you care this much about it, that's okay,
but at the end of the day, it's mine,
so I can do with it what I wanna do with it.
- You feel a presence behind you of a woman
in glorious dawn light, armored,
but looking sad or weak.
Some force that had called her to this world,
she just destroyed, and it's almost like
her connection to this world is very tenuous.
She looks out, but sees this memory of you
that you change in your mind.
You see a version where you say exactly that to Porter,
and watch as you simply do not accept
that he has the authority to tell you
what you're going to do with your life.
The figure behind you puts a hand on your back
and heals you of all damage.
- Oh, good.
- He was a liar, and he did not truly care for you.
I am sorry you did not feel
that you could stand against him in that moment.
- Thank you. - And she begins to fade away.
And you are able to move from that place
and find your friends.
- I think Kristen walks into a kind of corner,
and all of the different crystals
reflect her at all different ages growing up,
and she sees them all in one,
and her anger is for
her upbringing, and not really feeling
like there was a place for her.
Like she had to change herself
to be worthy of love,
and also, like, a god.
- Yeah.
- So I think her anger is like, she sees her parents.
Something that she's still, I think, currently angry about,
and hasn't necessarily worked out.
- You feel the figure beside you heal you
of any injury you've sustained and say,
"Is there strength I could lend you
to say or do what need be said or done
for these people who have wronged you?"
- I think this is in the "wisdom to accept
the things you cannot change" category.
- You see she looks very sorrowful, and vanishes.
And you see that as this happens,
the little area just around you, grass begins to grow,
and twilight forest begins to emerge around you.
Gorgug and Kristen, you find each other.
You see the forest, Gorgug, and can join here.
- You look so much better.
- You look better. - Thank you.
- Adaine sees her parents, also,
and sees the unfairness in the way that they treated her,
but also in the way that they treated Aelwyn,
and how unfair it was to pit them against each other
when she's enjoyed
having this sister relationship
with Aelwyn this year so much,
and she was robbed of that for 16 years.
- You are healed for all damage you've sustained,
and see the goddess beside you
looking and saying, "You have been stolen from.
I can help you mete out justice."
- I don't need justice.
I don't need justice against those people.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
And she vanishes.
The twilight forest goes and encompasses Adaine as well,
and you join your friends.
- I think Riz sees
himself in middle school,
before he had any friends,
and just the
kind of injustice he felt
with just how hard it was
to meet people and to connect with people.
And then, I think,
also feels like he's been unfair to, maybe,
Kristen and Fig,
kind of sees some of Kipperlilly in himself,
of trying to sort of, you know,
prevent change, to stop a new dawn.
- You are healed for all damage
that you've sustained in the fight,
and Ankarna looks at the memory
of these other kids
back when you were very lonely,
your best friend was your babysitter,
and also looks at the rage you're directing at yourself
and goes, "Yes, to hold oneself to account
is a very noble thing, I think.
Is there any help you require from me?"
- I think I need to talk to Fig and Kristen.
- Oh.
- If you could get me to them. - Yes. Yes, I can.
And you see, you are surrounded by golden light.
She takes you away from this place.
- I think Fig looks into a reflective surface,
and really wants to see her mom
and be mad at her mom for taking four fucking months
to ask her about the curse she was struggling with.
But I think Fig knows that who she's really mad at
is herself, because she spent all year
in an existential tailspin,
getting cursed and then realizing
that she didn't even respect herself enough
to make or keep an agreement with herself,
and she didn't even think she was worthy enough
to reach out to her friends about it,
and she spent the entire year just
stewing in
self-doubt
and kind of loneliness,
even though she was surrounded by people.
But I don't know if it was pride
or thinking that they wouldn't give her
the comfort she was seeking,
but she just could never bring herself to ask for help,
and she made such a big show of helping everyone else,
hoping that would mean that she would be worth that help.
She couldn't even bring herself to ask for it.
- You feel yourself healed,
and Ankarna not only touches you to heal you,
but embraces you,
and sees that one path of confronting your mother,
and sees this other path of dwelling
on this anger directed towards yourself.
Certainly, there is something
that I can help you to destroy.
I owe you more than I can say.
You stewarded my realm. You brought me here.
You have wielded wrath for good,
and remembered me when no one else would,
not even the scions of my followers.
I have not had a chance in ages
to return to what I once was.
I feel if I do not help, I may die.
- I say this with nothing but love in my heart.
I'm actually already really good at destruction.
So...
This one's on the house, and maybe you can owe me?
- She smiles, wraps you in golden light, and Riz and Fig,
you are reunited in this place of golden light together.
- I think Fabian thinks about all the times
Bill told him he was going to be great,
that he was gonna
write his name on the face of the world
and how long he's been saying that,
and how much of his life he's been saying that.
And he thinks about Bill's followers
and the way that they saw him,
and he thinks about Kristen slapping him when he
kind of was trying to explain what had happened,
and saying his full name.
And then this year, and that tattoo,
and the title of Maximum Legend,
and just the weight
that he has been carrying,
of expectation placed on him by his father.
- You see Bakur, badly injured,
with his forehead up against Lydia Barkrock's forehead.
She is badly injured.
They've clearly been fighting in this realm for some time,
and have come to some understanding,
and touched each other's forehead.
Bakur looks.
Flying in here with a little whistle around his neck,
you see Gorthalax appears in this place.
Both of them look at you,
open a seam in the crystal, and Bill steps out.
Ankarna appears behind you
and heals all the damage in your body.
Thank you for calling me.
Do you have anger towards this man?
I can help you stand against him,
if he has wronged you.
- No.
I don't want to cause him harm.
I just want him to understand.
- Ankarna looks very saddened again.
You see Bill looks out
and begins to fade away,
back in this realm.
As you ask for understanding,
you see that Bill looks at you, confused,
and there's some twilight, a shard, a cool forest.
He looks out and goes,
"My darling boy."
- Papa.
- I'd love you if your name was written nowhere.
And if I had to choose between you
and all the places that my name is written,
I'd scrub it from this and every world for another day.
He puts his head on your head,
gives you a kiss on the cheek.
But maybe we can have both.
- Maybe we can.
- But one is more, more, more, more than gold to me, my boy.
The two lights intermingle,
and you are standing in a clearing
where you see a badly injured Ankarna
with Cassandra, returned,
who holds you, and K2.
- Blimey. - [Brennan] Blimey.
- I'm holding the back of her tracksuit.
- Don't squeeze her too hard. She's gassy.
- Cassandra says, "I have made her real, as well."
- Oh, that's so great. - Mm-hmm.
- That's very generous of you.
- K2 does make me doubt everything.
- You see she takes K2 in the palm of her hand and goes,
"Now go away, literally forever."
- Is this you guaranteeing
that there can never be a side quest with K2?
- I still have the spell. I still have the spell.
- K3, K4, K5.
- K3 is gonna be German, K4 is gonna be Australian.
Now go away, literally forever.
- You see that Jawbone, Ragh and his mom,
Sandra Lynn, Squeem, even Balthazar-
- Fucking Squeem is here?
- Squeem! Squeem's dealt with a lot.
- I crack a cortado.
- Crack?
- I take the lid off, so I can chug it.
- [Siobhan] It's a tangerine marshmallow-flavored cortado.
- Hey guys, I found a little souvenir from today.
It's Porter's nuts.
- Wow, he's really juicing. So small.
- Teeny! - So small, so hard and round.
- You see that Cassandra looks at all of you,
and in this sort of realm, Ankarna's very small and fading.
Cassandra looks up at you, Kristen,
smiles at Fig, looks at all of you,
and everything that happened here, from that last grenade,
to Kipperlilly's death causing
the downfall of the villains' plan,
to the last gambit with the earworm
to let her know that her follower was lying to her,
and she looks at you, Kristen,
and Ankarna sort of grows feeble and goes,
"I...
I don't know if anyone really needs me."
- I reach out and I grab Ankarna's hand and I say,
Ankarna, I kinda feel like you still have
the residue of
violence or anger on you
from what Porter and what your followers have asked of you.
I think when you talked to me,
you were so focused on the past,
or what was wrong, and I do just feel like
a new dawn and a new beginning is, like...
I think that you will find a lot of followers that way.
A lot of people want a fresh start,
and to look forward instead of back.
- She looks, and you see Cassandra almost shivers
as a fear, which is sort of like Cassandra's other side,
the other side of doubt is fear,
a fear runs through Ankarna,
and she sort of gets a sneer and a wrathful thing.
She looks up and says, "I'm sure they would.
Can I share with you my fear, Kristen Applebees?
And maybe all of you
can tell me why I would be wrong.
But I fear that I am not wrong.
My worship changed because I was of the most use
to the wrathful and conquering.
And if the virtuous and just
see less use in me than them,
am I not always doomed to come back here?"
- You're way more than your use.
- Yeah, you think I like these people
just 'cause they're useful to me?
I mean, they are really, really useful.
But that's not why we're friends.
- I think it's up to your new followers
to protect you from that.
I think people will always be looking for power
and wanting to corrupt you.
I do agree that that's something to be afraid of.
But maybe you can be like a best kept secret.
- I think also, they wanted to exploit you
because of your power, and that just speaks volumes
to the potentiality in you, but ultimately,
you're going to be the thing you wanna be
if you decide how to direct that potentiality.
I wrote this song about how you let yourself
be a weather vane instead of a compass,
but really, I think I was also writing about myself,
so I kinda get it.
- If your followers told you to jump off a cliff,
would you just do it?
- I have no followers any longer.
- You have six right here.
- She begins to weep.
- I think rebellion- I'm the Archdevil of Rebellion,
rebellion without the horizon of dawn,
without the promise of a new beginning,
is absolutely cynical.
You're the only thing that gives my domain any meaning.
- I think I hold Fig's hand
so that we're kind of mirroring-
- Cassandra and Ankarna.
She smiles.
Well, maybe it will be a very humble beginning, then.
It is less followers than I once had,
and of my followers,
you seem very wise.
Very few of you needed my sword,
or needed my...
Or asked for my aid.
But perhaps in that
caution and carefulness
is another path that I would be welcome to tread.
- I think it was your presence that allowed us to actually-
I mean, just because we didn't ask for your sword...
You gave the option, and that's probably
what actually helped a lot of people make some peace.
- Yeah. I think it's also super black and white to think,
like, this person was bad, or this person was good.
We were all talking about people
really close to us, and that's...
Two things can be true at once.
They can be really bad,
and they also don't deserve to get sliced in half.
So I think dawn, twilight,
are both really liminal spaces between dark and light,
and it's really cool to hang out there.
- It's always darkest before the dawn.
- She looks at Cassandra, who casts a shadow on her face,
and you see she says, "I have missed you."
They embrace and kiss.
Cassandra says, "I must take my wife to rest."
- Really quick.
Where's the cat? - [Brennan] Hm?
- Oh, great question. - [Ally] Where's the fucking cat?
- Where is that fucking cat? - Kalina!
And I tell her about how I think Kalina brought her-
- We actually might have somebody for your sword of justice.
- You see Ankarna whips around and gets tall and says,
"Did that fucking cat fuck with you?"
- It brought her to a place where she could get taken.
- I have hated that cat- and Cassandra goes- - Me too!
- Cassandra goes, "No, she's-"
And Ankarna says, "The cat's bad, darling. The cat's bad."
- Look, I love cats. That's a bad cat.
- Ankarna says, "Can all of you just say a quick,
small prayer that the cat will be discovered and found?"
- Yes. - Yeah.
(Brennan mimics a holy blade being unsheathed)
- Maybe you could have this! And I grab Squeem.
- You see she says, "Squeem, you are perfect."
She takes Squeem and she says,
"Squeem, you will be my light, wherever the sword shines."
You see a shadow is cast from the light,
and Balthazar comes back and says,
"Uh-oh, looks like the cat's out of the bag!"
- Oh no! - You old so and so.
- I guess they let anyone in here.
- You old so and so!
- Ankarna says, "Squeem, Balthazar, find Kalina!
Track her down across all the realms!
A new dawn rises, and the Shadow Cat will be found!"
- There have been some injustices, though,
that I would love to correct,
if we can. - [Brennan] Yes.
- Some people were killed in your name
that I really don't think deserved to be killed.
- Yeah, why don't you go take
your fire that causes new beginnings, and...
The temple that you were wronged,
you should go right your own wrong.
You should go redecorate that thing.
- And Lucy. - And stop by the morgue,
the city morgue, on the way. - And honestly,
all of the Rat Grinders that weren't fucking Kipperlilly.
- All of them were murderers, but Mary Ann seemed like-
- Yeah, just Mary Ann. - Just Mary Ann.
- [Ally] Mary Ann, Lucy, and-
- [Siobhan] Mary Ann's just really easily led.
- Are we sure?
- Can I cast Atonement on Mary Ann?
- Yes, you got it. So you see that Ankarna says-
- Her bubbling corpse. - ...it is done.
- Oh my god, I actually got it! I actually got it!
I have a plus one. Wait, I actually got more than it.
I have to get, I have a plus one to Wisdom,
and I got a 19 on the die,
and I have to get a 20 Wisdom check to atone someone.
- Unbelievable. Ankarna looks at you and says, "It is done.
I must pursue the Shadow Cat,
wherever she is in realms beyond.
I will take Squeem and Balthazar with me."
She gives all your spell slots back and says,
"I have removed my name
from the bones of Lucy Frostblade and Yolanda Badgood."
She gives you a kiss on the forehead. She embraces you.
- Sorry, I misread that.
- And you see Cassandra smiles and says,
"I knew I had the best prophet."
You see she says, "Hold on one second,"
and you see she takes a selfie
with you and Ankarna real quick
and sends it to Craig and says,
"Please put this on the Instagram. Double god.
Kristen Applebees has now been involved
in the direct resurrection of two gods.
Pretty good. Take that, Wolfsong, LOL." Send.
- Wait, do you guys know how Tracker brought winter to-
- Yeah! - Oh, you see Ankarna says,
"My sister, Ruivna! I'll go talk to her and find out."
- Why was Ruvina helping with a cult of Galicaea?
- She says, "Galicaea might be mending her old ways."
Cassandra says, "We'll go talk to them and find out."
- Okay. - Juicy god gossip.
- You see that the two of them,
as they turn to leave this place,
you see Ankarna says, "Oh, let's get you some help."
You hear, beep beep! And a station wagon pulls up.
And wearing an aloha shirt with a bucket hat,
Arthur Aguefort steps out.
Hello! Am I too late?
- Yes. - Yes!
- You're like a year late. - That's Porter, cut in half.
- You see Ayda springs out of shotgun and says,
"It's incredibly hot here."
- Yes. - Yeah.
- My paramour! She embraces you.
Twirls up in a burst of feathers and wings.
I have long missed you.
Did you get my order of knights and my star shower?
- Yeah, it was all amazing.
I wrote you a bunch of letters in the past,
that now you can read,
and they will have traveled through time to find you.
- (squawks) Fascinating. Oh, that makes sense, yes.
They will have time traveled,
in the way that all material objects do.
- Yeah, yeah. - That is so romantic.
Hello, my friends. - Hello.
- Hi. Did you get me anything?
- I did. Did you get my giant cave of wonders and treasures?
- Yes, oh my goodness! I forgot!
- She already gave you, like, millions of dollars.
- Were you- - Thank you so much.
- Oh, sorry, was that statement before a little bit of...
You see that she casts Comprehend Subtext.
You were shading me! - I was joshing you.
- You were joshing me. - I was joshing you.
- But it was a shade josh. - It was a shade josh.
- I'll get you for this.
This is also a shade josh. - I cast Invisibility.
- She says, "I'm shade joshing you as well.
I have shade joshed you. We are now even."
- I love it. I shake her hand.
- She shakes your hand as well.
You see Arthur says, "Well, dang!
Another great year at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy."
- No, no, no, no, no!
- You don't get to take credit for this!
- I un-Banish Buddy. - He falls into lava.
- Wait, yeah, we have to have Mazey count the votes.
- He says, "Well, back to the Aguefort Adventuring Academy!"
- Well, dang. - He appears back and says,
"Look at these beautiful statues of me, the principal."
- You left a robot in charge.
- What? Oh, Grix! (claps) - No!
- You see that a bunch of broken Grix trash comes out
and he says, "What the fuck? Henry, where are you?"
- Oh, he's evil, I think.
- You see that Henry Hopclap comes out and he says,
"No he's not, he's following the bylaws."
Henry Hopclap comes out.
Mazey appears too, goes, "Fabian!"
- Mazey! - She gives you a kiss.
You see he says, "Mazey Phaedra!
You have no time for kissing! You have to count the votes!
There's been hours without an acting principal."
Mazey says, "Really? Right now?"
And he says, "This instant!"
- Can I help?
- Yeah, you can sorta help. - Okay, great.
- Professor Aguefort, did you know that in the bylaws,
students aren't allowed to take drugs?
- That's some narc shit! What's that doing in the bylaws?
- I don't know, that's what I was thinking.
- Henry fixes Principal Grix,
and Grix goes, "Perfect order."
And you see Aguefort says,
"Ah, I made him follow the bylaws,
but then I didn't double check the bylaws.
Quangle might've made some shoddy bylaws here.
Okay, did he do anything messed up while I was away?"
- He tried to kill people at my house.
- He tried to kill a bunch of kids.
- But we did and up killing the guy that he tried to kill.
- So, was he that bad? - A bit of a wash.
- He did net a bunch of people.
- Put it up as another W for Arthur Aguefort!
- I wouldn't go that far.
- Another W for Arthur Aguefort!
- No, no. - Call it a draw.
- Also, Porter?
- Those are his balls. - Was evil.
- What are Porter's testicles doing on your necklace?
- The dude was evil. - Can we see if
any of the Rat Grinders, I know that they were possessed,
but did any of them not vote for Kipperlilly
when we check the votes that were in that little box?
- Oh, that's so funny.
- I'm gonna roll.
Mary Ann voted for herself. (players laughing)
- Glad that I successfully did a Ceremony-
- [Ally] All right, bring her back. Bring her back.
- I succeeded my Atonement.
- You see, first of all,
Kristen Applebees is elected president-
- Yes! - ...of the student body
of the Aguefort Adventuring Academy. - That's my president!
- Couldn't have done it without the team.
- I really quickly pull Kristen aside.
Do you wanna be the president?
- Yeah. - 'Cause I'm sorry
that I made you feel like you had to be the president.
- No, it's okay. I got really good this year.
I did way better and way more stuff
than I ever thought I could.
- Do you wanna be the president?
- Yeah. - Okay.
- Did you wanna be the president?
- No, I just wanted to make sure that
you wanted to be the president.
- Oh, yeah yeah yeah. No, I want to.
Thank you so much for pushing me.
- You win the presidency.
- I'm pulling up Wranglers as we speak.
- You go to the city morgue.
Yolanda (gasps) comes back and says,
"Still have that coin?" - Ping!
- And you see she gives you a big hug.
A plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus, plus.
And in fact, you have a very busy year ahead
as student body president, so let me just say,
you can turn in those essays and tests
on your own time, kiddo. - Oh my gosh!
You're so much better than Buddy Dawn.
- You see, by the way, a giant solar RV
skidding out on the highway out of town.
- Let's shoot out the tires. - Shoot it, yeah!
(Lou mimics motorcycle revving)
- Sire, we go to war, immediately!
- I know what he did. I know what his family did.
I know what his family did.
- Yes, sire, the implication is enough for me.
- That's all we need.
- You see Lucy comes back as well (gasps)
and you see she goes, "Kristen, hi. I'm Lucy Frostblade."
- Hi, I'm Kristen.
- Thanks for letting me hang out in your afterlife.
- Oh. - You sent me there
when you found my body in the woods.
- Oh, amazing. - That was awesome.
Thank you so much. Hi, everyone.
- What's it like in Kristen's afterlife?
- There's crickets and fireflies.
It's like a lovely, cool forest there.
- That's so nice.
We killed everyone in your adventuring party.
- They all killed me.
- I'm sorry that they betrayed you.
- I really was hanging onto hope
for a redemption arc for Ruben.
Was I barking up the wrong tree?
- Ruben? No, Ruben used to be my really good friend.
And you see that Ankarna, all of them coming back.
As they come back,
the shatter-stars are ejected from their chests,
and you see Ruben go, (gasping and coughing)
"My freakin' puka shells! Where are they?"
- What the fuck?
- My freaking puka shell necklace!
Where are my sandals? Where are my cargo pants?
- I think everything you just listed
is in a pocket of your cargo shorts.
- That's the problem.
If you lose the shorts, you lose everything.
That's the problem with that style.
- Aw, freak! I gotta get outta here!
You see he turns around and says, "Do I recognize you?"
- Yeah, you were a roadie in Hell, for a little bit.
- Oh, dang. Okay. And you see he takes off.
Ruben looks like he's totally wiped.
Oisin and Ivy both come back looking very bashful,
like they have more memory
of some of the bad things that they did.
But both of them, Aguefort brings them to Jawbone to handle,
and you see Mary Ann comes back. (gasps)
Where's my freaking strawberry?
- It burned up. - Yeah, it's sinking in lava.
- We can get you a mango soda. - [Siobhan] Yeah.
- Really? (can hissing)
(slurps) Awesome. Do you guys do Quokki Pets?
- Yeah. - Quokki?
- Quokki pets. - Yeah, I do.
- You do? Are you on lemon level?
- Yeah, I'm on lime level.
- Can you freaking show me how to get to lime level?
- Yeah, I can.
I Minor Illusion of whatever she has.
- Gorgug, Gorgug, it's okay.
- [Ally] It's just a lime with sunglasses
being like, you win! - It's okay, Gorgug.
Gorgug, it's okay. - So cool, right?
It's so cool. - Are we sure?
- Yeah. - Are we sure?
- Mary Ann, do you think you could show Gorgug
how to play...
What was the name of the game?
- Quokki Pets? - Quokki.
- No, the- - Fucking bloodrush?
- Bloodrush. I'm on the team!
- You're on the team, The Ball!
- I'm sort of on the team.
- I know how to play bloodrush!
- Do you think you could give him a couple pointers,
or can you tell him what you were using to juice?
- [Siobhan] You're just so strong. - What's that?
- [Siobhan] Is it mango soda?
- So, you kinda pushed me over earlier this year.
- Yeah, but that's the game, right?
- Yeah.
- Did it make you mad in real life?
- In real life?
- Yeah, like not in the game.
Did it make you mad in real life?
- Hey, you know what? It made me a little mad.
I was a little upset that you were better than me.
- Okay. Do you have a girlfriend?
(players laughing)
- You're the luckiest guy in school right now.
- I kinda have something going on,
but not like an actual...
Nothing, not really. - Situationship.
- It's sort of an undefined situation. Why?
- My dad makes benches in his workshop.
- I like to sit down. (players cackling)
- You see she goes- - They have so much in common!
- I think Gorgug's gonna fuck Mary Ann on a bench.
- You can make your Quokki Pet spell stuff,
and then it spells different stuff upside-down,
if you hold it upside-down like this.
- Yeah, I know.
- You see she looks and says, "Yours are really cool."
- Thank you. Yours are stunning.
- Do you wanna come over and decorate them?
- Yeah, I do, but I'm gonna let Gorgug go...
Actually, I should go before Gorgug.
I'm gonna go before Gorgug. - Okay.
- I don't wanna...
In your aftermath.
- It's not like that yet.
- They're gonna smash hard.
- Fuck, just standing between you two
is like being electrocuted on either side.
- You can feel the tension, right?
- What are you talking about?
- Where do you get the Quokki Pet?
- You don't know where you get Quokki Pets?
- Okay. Just tell me.
- I think Mary Ann just plays Quokki Pets
and reads "The Game".
- You know she's got a fedora.
- She's got a fedora on the strawberry.
- Mary Ann writes down something and she goes,
"This is my crystal number.
I'm gonna go put it where you get Quokki Pets."
- Where? - Loser. And walks away.
- [Ally] Gonna go leave her number in the store?
- In a store? - Just any store.
- At Target? - But what location?
- She's so hot. (all laughing)
- Yes! You finally admit it!
- Dammit! Dammit! - You finally admit it!
- Hell yes, Gorgug! - You see what we've seen!
- There it is. - I bless this union.
- Incredible.
- Do you want me to cast Wedding on you two?
- No! Guys!
- So I'm gonna turn this over to all of you
for our epilogues at the end of junior year.
Cassandra and Ankarna don't have many followers,
but the few they have believe in them.
And Kristen, Yolanda also posits to you, she says,
"You know, if you wanna be the cleric of a pantheon,
you can, if being limited by one deity doesn't serve you.
I mean, you're welcome to keep Cassandra
as your sole and only, but-"
- I would work for both of them, definitely, yeah.
I would be worshiping a couple.
That's awesome, yeah. Yeah.
- Actually, that's gonna be
really good for followers, right?
- Yeah, exactly.
- You ship them. - [Brennan] Broaden the appeal.
- Yeah, I shipped these gods.
- Craig posts something with, "Shipping gods,"
and it goes viral, baby.
Is there anything that you guys do
before the school year ends?
- I think Riz
is gonna try to take his hands
off the wheel a little bit.
He's gonna try tea instead of coffee.
- Huh. - Ooh!
- And he's so tired all the time.
- [Ally] I wish K2 was here.
- And I think is looking into
the rogue school and stuff, and I think maybe
embracing a little bit more the idea
that without new opportunities, without new experiences,
he would've never met his buds,
so he's got to be open to new stuff.
- Sklonda puts a hand on your shoulders
back at the apartment, gives you a kiss on the head.
She's like, "I'm really happy to see you
switching over to something
a little bit lighter than just sucking down coffee."
- Yeah. I have such a headache, Mom.
- Go sleep, sweetie. Go sleep.
You're looking at a pamphlet- - I fall asleep instantly.
- There's Salazar's School for Solo Adventurers.
There's the Society of Shadows.
You also see that there's a new pamphlet here
from the Council of Chosen from an Agent Clark,
who is reaching out, having solved a caper-
- The one that Gorgug oinked at?
- [Brennan] The one that Gorgug oinked at.
- The one who chased me out of the gym.
I cast Mislead and then led him
to a place where Riz's business card was.
- But you see all these places.
Maybe none of them have any meaning for Riz.
You see Sklonda goes, "You know,
putting all this stuff aside, whatever you choose to do,
I know you're gonna work hard at it.
I feel bad about the beginning of the year.
I didn't wanna put more pressure on you
than you already put on yourself.
Maybe it's too late to say this, but-"
- No, Mom. It's all good.
Yeah, I think...
Yeah, I think everything's gonna be good.
- She smiles and says, "And you got time, you know?"
You see that she actually gathers up all the pamphlets
and all the applications and all the stuff,
tosses it in the trash, and says,
"Movie night,
and then we'll come home, we'll get some dessert,
and you can get a good night's sleep, okay?"
- That sounds really good, Mom.
- [Brennan] Adaine, you see Aelywn.
- How's your library job, bitch?
- It's good. I commute by going downstairs.
The library has a door in-
- You actually haven't been outside for like three weeks.
- Do I smell weird? Do I look weird?
- You smell so weird, and our room smells-
- Well, just hit me with a Prestidigitation if you notice.
- No, no, no. First of all, I don't have Prestidigitation.
- You don't have Prestidigitation?
- I have five cantrips,
and I have other ones that are more useful than that.
- Okay, more useful than un-soiling clothing?
- I use my Mage Hand to flip her the bird.
- Okay, fine.
- Let's go out. - Let's do it.
She takes a little letter from the Court of Stars
for the Elven Oracle
that has some grave and mysterious business in it.
- God, what do these fuckers want with me now?
- She says, "Do you wanna look at it right now?"
- Let's go to Basrar's, open it over a sundae.
- You go to Basrar's, and a letter from the Court of Stars
says there have been strange goings on
in the forest of Sylvaire, and a powerful wizard
they believe is at work in that place.
Aelwyn looks up at you.
(mimics flames whooshing)
- Let's get her.
- Yes, my dear. We'll get her.
But first, Basrar!
A giant sundae.
You see she just smiles,
has a bunch of ice cream on her mouth, and goes,
"I hope we get to eat ice cream and cast magic forever."
- I do, too.
- I know that our parents weren't very good.
- They were terrible. - Terrible.
- They were so old, to be so bad.
- So old, to be so bad. - Hundreds of years old.
So bad.
- I know this is not how it works,
and that bad things don't justify good things,
and vice versa, but in a wild world
where some terrible spirit made me make a bargain,
I'd take them to get you.
- Thank you. Same.
I mean, we are gonna kill her.
- We're gonna kill her. We're going to kill her.
- Great. - We're gonna kill her.
- Great. - I'm gonna crack the coin.
(Brennan mimics tornado whooshing)
Uncle Ray, hello!
(Brennan mimics tornado whooshing)
So, my house is at my school!
I'm wondering if you could pick my house up and put it back!
Thank you, Ray!
How's Shelley?
That's lovely to hear!
I'm playing pickleball as well!
- Pickleball, thump.
- Yes, we should play together sometime.
Yes, okay, you can take it back?
Okay, great.
(Brennan mimics house thumping)
Not bad.
(Brennan mimics tornado whooshing)
Later, Ray!
And then I'm gonna roll a check right now.
- [Brennan] Cool, roll it.
- With disadvantage. - Hell yeah.
(dice rolling)
- It's a four.
We know what it's for. We don't have to talk about it.
It wasn't great. But, you know.
(all laughing uproariously)
- You have Google up on the biggest screen ever.
- [Siobhan] But add Acrobatics to that.
Surely add Acrobatics.
- I think it's a flat roll. - [Emily] Yeah, first time-
- I think you add Religion to that.
- Yeah, I think I add Religion.
- Sleight of hand. - In the middle of this time,
you hear the door to Seacaster Manor open, thunk.
You see Mazey goes, "Oh, shit!"
- Sorry! - Shit, shit!
- Just hang out. Just hang out.
- You see she comes downstairs with you. Bags everywhere.
Hallariel, Gilear, and you see Telemaine is here as well.
- Oh. - My father has decided
to come and stay with us at Seacaster Manor.
It's his first time off the island of Fallinel.
- That's great, Mama.
- He's given the use of Kei Lumennura to Wolfsong.
He's had a whole about face and come around.
- Okay.
- And you see walking through the door,
also, is Cathilda here at the very last minute.
Oh, Master Fabian! (smooching)
- God, I could've used you this year.
- What's that? - I had the house to myself.
- No! That can't be allowed!
- [Lou] This is my girlfriend, by the way.
- You had the whole house to yourself?
- Yes, I drank so much milk.
- Why? - Bad baby and otherwise.
- [Lou] 'Cause it's what it could find!
- You see she looks over and says, "Oh, hello."
Mazey says, "Hi, I'm Mazey." - This is my girlfriend.
- Hi, I'm Fabian's girlfriend.
Cathilda says, "Well, she's lovely, Master Fabian."
You see your mom says, "Now, I have to hear
about how everything went this year,
my darling boy, but after the news."
You see she takes Gilear's hand.
(Emily gasps) (Siobhan applauds)
- Mazey, will you just squeeze my hand so tight?
- Okay, sure.
- Can we roll a d100 to see how many kids?
- Roll a d100. - 100!
- There you go. - That's a zero.
- That is 100! I rolled 100!
- Oh my god! What are the fucking odds?
- They're not fucking flies, all right?
What's the news?
- Fabian.
- What?
- Gilear and I-
- Are what?
- Are the proud expectant-
- Of what?
- We're getting a dog!
(Lou giggling in relief)
And Gilear says, "We're getting a dog
to protect the new baby." (players cackling)
- I think I break maybe one or two bones.
- Ow! Fabian, fuck! - Sorry, sorry, sorry.
- It's okay. We're gonna go. - We're gonna go.
We're gonna get some ice cream or something.
- As you walk out, your phone pings a little bit. Ping!
- Oh.
- A new nemesis alert has shown up on your phone.
- What the hell? Josh, what the fuck is going on?
- Fabian, my name is Alston.
- I don't give a shit! I'm about to have a baby, sibling!
And that's a fucking nightmare, all right?
Who's this new nemesis?
- He looks down and says, "No name."
- Goddammit. God fucking dammit, Josh.
I swear to fucking god. - Oh no, sorry.
There's a name. It's, oh, Faeth?
- Oh, motherfucker. Josh?
- Unborn nemesis? - Josh, get ready for war.
Josh, I need you to mount up. - Fabian, are you all right?
- Mount up? Mount up?
- Do you ever talk to Jawbone about this stuff?
- No, all right? It's war! - Okay, okay!
- [Lou] I need you to build me a bunker!
- Alston says, "Mr. Seacaster, fucking bring it."
- Let's fucking go. - Fucking bring it.
- I'm gonna fucking kill you. - What?
- Kristen.
- I think Kristen is honestly really excited
to be involved in school, and kind of excelling.
So she has some stuff, I think,
that she has to meet with Riz about regularly
to be like, okay, how do we do this?
How involved do you wanna be next year?
- Riz switches from tea to coffee. Super involved.
- Yeah, okay, great.
- I would love to be super involved.
- Okay, cool.
I think I just start adding Riz to all the
groups of people who are doing student government
as a fill-in president, or vice president,
if I can talk to Aguefort and try to get
a vice president role or something, get Riz on that.
- Hell yeah. Aguefort says, "Changing the bylaws
after the election to add a vice president to the ticket?
That sounds like the Aguefort way!"
- Excellent. I ribbon dance out of the window.
I think I call Tracker and tell her
all about the new lesbian gods that I worship,
that her god is tangentially related, and maybe it could be
a four-god pantheon or something, I don't know.
- Tracker talks to you and says, "Hey, that is incredible.
Kristen, I'm constantly blown away by you."
- Huh, that is so sweet.
You probably know me better than, you know, a lot of people.
- Things are going great with Wolfsong right now.
We've had a little bit of a stall.
Our source of money has sort of dried up.
- Oh, what was that?
- It started to feel like I was becoming more and more aware
of the strings that were attached to the money.
- Oh, interesting. Was that your girlfriend's money?
- Her family's. - Oh.
- And we're on a little bit of a break right now.
- Oh! That's, what? Oh, you're being...
That's random.
- She says, "I think talking about a pantheon
would be awesome, because I think that there's a lot...
I don't know how much I believe anymore that one god
has all the answers for a life this complicated."
- Yeah. I mean, I think that's really beautiful. Yeah.
Okay, yeah, cool. I mean if you're ever in, you know...
If you wanna come by the manor, Jawbone's there.
- I really wanna come by. - Cool.
- That sounds awesome. - That'd be awesome.
I'll make a tequila-infused watermelon,
and we can just eat that. - Okay.
- In the hot tub. - In the hot tub.
- You got it, Kristen.
- Okay, cool. - You got it.
You see, off in the corner, Gertie looks at you and says,
"Hey, if you're looking for watermelon,
I'll tell you what nectar is best."
- That's so cool. Gertie, I'm gonna have to level with you.
I do think that you're really cute,
and kissing you was really fun.
And also, my ex is on a break
with the really stupid person that she was dating
for, like, a while, so I'm kinda gonna focus on that,
I think, for a little bit.
- This day, I vow! - No!
- You are my sworn nemesis! - Wait, no! Why?
- From this day forward!
You should never have smooched me,
if that wasn't going to last forever.
- Oh, what? What?
- To the bees! And she runs off into the field.
- I sneak the book "Polysecure"
into her hands before she leaves.
- She says, "I will not understand this for years!"
and throws it away. - [Ally] Bye!
- And runs away.
Jawbone tells you that night, "Tracker got tickets.
She's on her way back in a couple weeks."
- I grab a watermelon, cut a little hole in it,
crack open a giant thing of tequila,
put it upside-down in it.
- In the mirror of the chapel, you see a reflection
of a dawn goddess and a twilight goddess going like,
"It's so cute, isn't it? They'll figure it out."
- Oh god, someone open up the fridge.
- Take a shelf out!
- I have to take out all the lunch meat.
Is everyone cool with that? I just need space.
- Why are there Gilear's yogurts in this fridge?
- Because, he can be wherever he needs to be.
- I threw them out, sorry.
- They're so out of date.
- Gorgug.
- Gorgug takes a second to relax.
Now that he's finally not doing
four years of schoolwork at once,
and kinda like when he hung out with his parents
and worked on the van, he does that a little bit.
But I think he also will go to Fig.
Hey, Fig.
So, I got you two presents.
- What?
- One, I made, and one- - You stole?
- ...I bought. I got a good deal on.
- Okay.
- But the first one, he gives it to you.
It's sort of an effects pedal for bass.
I made it. - Fuck yes!
- I really appreciate how you took barbarian class
even though you didn't have to.
It really helped me out, and I don't think I helped you out
as much as you've helped me this year.
- Well, honestly, I probably would've gone no matter what.
I kind of just like to be
at whatever class I'm not invited to.
- Oh, okay. Well, it helped me out a lot.
- But I mean, it also was- - It really helped me.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Sorry, I was deflecting. - No, it's okay.
Well, I appreciated it, and I don't know
if I could've gotten through the year
if I didn't have your help, and I appreciate that.
- Hey, we fucking won over Porter,
and then I have his little- (Ally laughing)
- I was gonna ask you, do you...
They were that size?
Wild, and they're just perfectly preserved.
- I think the lava- - And who were these guys?
- This was the pit fiend. - That's Bakur.
- Bakur. - And this guy?
- One of the Jaces. - Oh, okay.
Wow, I didn't know.
And then I guess this is the other gift.
I got a pretty good deal on it. It's a bench.
- Can I do a Divine Sense on it?
- Yeah.
- Yeah? What do I sense from it?
- Yeah? - What?
Gorgug, you fucking dog!
- I didn't, I thought I cleaned-
- You're the luckiest guy in school!
- This is not...
I thought it was a different bench, to be honest.
Thank you.
- You're fucking nuts. You're fucking nuts. - I appreciate you.
- Gogug gets a text. Congrats, Gorgug.
Just heard the news.
- I wasn't a virgin. - [Lou] Awesome, dude.
- Fabian, I wasn't a virgin. - No, I know that.
It's just that you smashed on the bench,
and that's sick, dude.
- It's not. I don't recommend it.
- Okay, good to know.
Honestly, if you have any other tips, I would love them.
- Gorgug, Wilma and Digby are so proud.
You get the Hangvan working.
They constantly tell everybody
about the final flashbang that did the trick
and broadcast Porter's thoughts everywhere.
Arthur Aguefort is like,
"This is an incredible academic achievement."
- Thank you.
- Would you ever consider teaching here, post-graduation?
- Oh, wow.
- You promise me you're not a villain?
- I can't promise that. - Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- I sealed the Night Yorb, by the way.
- What? - Yeah.
- Gorgug Thistlespring!
You see Ayda looks and says, "I told you, Father.
The greatest wizard of our age."
You see that Arthur says, "That you are.
If a barbarian and an artificer can be joined together,
who's to say that's not a wizard?
And what is a watch,
if not a combination of artificer's skill with craft,
and a barbarian's skill with circles?"
- You've been gone a pretty long time.
- We went to right before the dawn of time.
- How was jet skiing?
- It was amazing. It cost so much money.
- Why did it cost so much? - Well, time is relativistic,
and because the jet ski was larger than several galaxies,
by virtue of moving, I was actually...
And I "bought it," but I ended up buying it
because I got it as a rental,
but the rental cost was actually more than buying it,
because it existed for countless millennia
because of how big it was.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
- Not even a little bit. - Well, the size, and time-
- Why was it so big? - Hm?
- Why was it so big? - Because I was so big,
and I needed a jet ski I could fit on.
- Oh? - I was larger than nebulas.
- Good.
- [Brennan] It was fun. It was a great trip. We bonded.
- I start bleeding out of my nose.
- You see he says, "All you need to understand
is that the further back in time you get,
the more bigness and time are the same."
- Sure. - I had to get that big
in order to undo the Time Quangle.
- I start bleeding out the other-
- Gorgug, you see that he says, "You should consider it."
- Okay, I'll think about it.
- I know you can't promise you're not a villain.
Maybe next year, I'll be the bad-
- I'm not a villain. - Hm?
- What'd you say? - What?
- What were you saying? - What's that?
- What were you just saying? - What was I just saying?
- "Maybe next year, I'll be the v..."
Is what I heard. - Who knows? Senior year.
- What were you gonna say that starts with a V?
- Hm, fun. Who knows?
That's the nature of Time Quangles, I'm afraid. Ha ha.
Tip top. And he turns into birds.
- So many birds.
- Every one of us is the principal! And they all fly away.
And Fig, at Mordred Manor,
Sandra Lynn knocks on the door.
You see Ayda says,
"Ah, a moment of privacy.
Unless you do not wish for a moment of privacy."
- No, I can talk it out with Sandra Lynn, yeah.
- Very well. If she disturbs you, I will avenge you.
- Yeah, no, I'd like to see that, honestly.
- Okay.
And you see that she steps out and does this to Sandra Lynn.
She goes, "All right, Ayda."
Comes in the room and sits on your bed.
I've been listening to this awesome podcast.
It's called "Complicated Women".
- Yeah, I've heard of it.
- And I think it's done a lot...
You know, I was trying to get into the Dry Guys,
and I kinda couldn't do it,
and then I was like, I'll give this a shot.
- Yeah. I mean, there are only two paths for podcasts.
There's only two podcasts in Elmville.
- Yeah, you're either Dry Guys or Complicated Women,
and for me, I'm Complicated Women.
It's really well-produced. It's very well-produced.
- It almost sounds like someone
with a fantastic recording studio makes it.
- Yeah, I noticed recently,
the last couple months of episodes have been phenomenal.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's really hit its stride.
- And there's a great point that the person on there made
that was sort of about, they were playing this song,
your song, "Dawn of Justice",
and they were sort of talking about it.
Justice has to reset.
It's like dawn, it's each new day.
You have to hold yourself accountable for what you did,
but also, the whole point is to do better,
and that every time the sun rises,
you have another opportunity to hopefully be
a little bit more just than you were the day before.
All of which is to say,
I love you, and you're so capable,
and you're so powerful, and in many ways,
you have life more figured out
than I did at your age,
and I underestimate,
based on how amazing you are,
that sometimes, you wanna hear from me.
- Well, I love you too,
and I was thinking that I might set up a little...
This is gonna sound like a regression,
but I think it's a good thing.
I was thinking I might set up
a little room in Fabian's boat
so that I can kinda be there when the baby comes.
- She says, "I think that's really beautiful,
and I think that Fabian will need it.
I think Fabian will need the help."
- Fabian's currently at the weapons store, buying...
Riz is gonna have to teach me how to use a gun.
- You see that she reaches a hand over her heart.
Are those Porter's testicles?
She goes-
- I'm sorry. - Blimey.
(Emily laughing)
She wraps you up in a hug, kisses you,
and you see that she point at her eyes, points at you,
and places a very special Hunter's Mark on you.
I always wanna be able to reach out to you.
- I willingly fail the save.
I think that Fig is probably, after this year,
I think she just spent a lot of the year feeling
not like herself, and probably the most
she felt like herself was when she finally went back to Hell
and started writing music.
So I think she looks at her track list
and sees "Straight A Dropout",
and I think she's gonna go spend some time in Hell
and consider that maybe,
maybe the academic path isn't necessarily for her,
and that maybe she was just doing this
because she wanted to hang out with her friends,
and maybe she can just trust
that they'll be friends outside of school.
- In Hell, Arthur Aguefort appears to you.
You see he says, "Ms. Faeth.
I recently downloaded your album onto my Zune."
- Some powerful divine magic in there, huh?
- Reading between the lines,
I take it that your time at the Aguefort Adventuring Academy
may be coming to a close.
- I think it's possible.
- I would expect nothing less
from the Archdevil of Rebellion herself.
You were exemplary in the Last Stand.
You accomplished incredible things.
If my school holds you not amongst its alumni,
but amongst its dropoutniks-
- What? - Dropoutniks.
- Oh god, you are so smart.
I know you could've come up with something better.
- My li'l dropout daddies.
- Okay, it's getting a little worse.
- Then I would say to you
that I respect and honor that decision.
However, I cannot stop the inevitable automatons
that are now hunting you. - What?
- You dropped out.
They will find you, anywhere in this multiverse.
I cannot stop them.
- Well, I'm very charming.
It's likely that if they come down here,
they'll end up working for me.
- You see Rip looks over and says,
"Okay, we're good for Complicated Women 67."
- Okay, right now, we are doing a podcast.
Please don't hold that against me.
- Aguefort says, "I never do."
Ayda, alongside her father, goes,
"I work full time at Compass Points.
Would be nice to have a partner who also was working.
You are a successful record label executive and devil."
- Yeah.
- Ayda starts casting a Gate spell
to connect the Bottomless Pit with Leviathan.
- You, with all your academic pursuits,
you wouldn't think less of me if I dropped out?
- You see Ayda looks and you and says,
"Learning is the greatest pastime that there can be.
It is all of our gift.
It exists within and without
every school and academic institution.
Learning no more belongs to academia
than joy belongs to recreation facilities.
They are dedicated to a thing
that exists in all places, and with all people."
- Hell yeah.
- Does Rip have to be here, or can we have privacy?
- Rip, it's hot tub time!
- Rip goes, "All right. I'll get on out."
You see he goes, "By the way,
you're not gonna wanna go in the main hot tub.
Baby and Baby Baby and Baby Baby Baby
and Baby Baby Baby Baby- - They're multiplying, okay?
Baby has what Adaine wants with her Simulacrum.
- From there, you see "Dawn of Justice" posters all over,
big multi-platinum records, and we fade from there
all the way back to the Aguefort gymnasium
for something you don't see.
A Banishment spell ending, and Buddy Dawn steps out.
Golly! Where is everybody?
You see he looks down and says, "Bakarath?
Can you hear me, Bakarath?"
And a nascent divinity,
a brand new god with one true believer, appears.
(squeaky voice) I am Bakarath, god of rage!
Bakarath, reach out.
Call to your divine champion, that you may send them forth,
and I may preach in their name.
You need a right hand, a fiend,
much like Bakur of old.
You see this tiny little baby god goes (squeaks)
and a shadow lengthens.
Purr, as Kalina appears.
Buddy, we gotta get the fuck out of here.
They are coming for us.
Your grandfather is not gonna fucking believe this.
And they vanish in shadow.
And that's all for "Dimension 20: Fantasy High Junior Year!"
See you at Basrar's. - See you at Basrar's!
♪ T-T-T-Taking over, teenage rebellion ♪
♪ No more fantasizing about it ♪
♪ Hey, hey, hey, hey ♪
♪ Hey, let's go ♪