- [Brennan] A list of the topics, themes,
and subject matter featured in this episode
has been included in the video description.
(radical action movie music)
(helicopter blades chopping)
(impact resounds)
(wind whistling)
(epic explosion)
(car engine revving)
(distorted laughter)
(fuses sizzling)
(keyboard keys clacking)
(lasers zapping)
(epic explosion pounds)
(car engine revving)
(glass shatters as radical music continues)
(bomb beeping)
(helicopter blades chopping air)
(radical music continues)
(action music fades)
- Hello, one and all!
Welcome to another thrilling episode
of "Dimension 20: Never Stop Blowing Up!"
I'm your humble game master, Brennan Lee Mulligan.
With me, as always, are our Amazing Action Heroes.
Say hi, Amazing Action Heroes!
- [Players] Hi, Amazing Action Heroes!
- Last we left off, we were throwing down
at the Deluxe Royale, a premium hotel, not a hospital,
in downtown Los Angeles, okay?
We had a bloody battle in the middle of an elevator,
bodies flying to and fro, guns firing, bam!
People fully having their heads blown off!
And we found out the nature of the Shadow Protocol.
After a successful fight with one pantsless man
running dick out down a hallway, our amazing action heroes
got back to Jack Manhattan's hotel room,
now inhabited by one Paula, the security guard
from the mall back in Lake Elsinore in the real world,
and you all arrive at the hotel room.
You opened up, got your d20 Tech check
to unlock the Shadow Falcon Protocol,
the program which would hollow out
every governmental agency,
uploading all that information somewhere,
though where, we cannot yet be sure.
We also discovered that Damian Bane,
a ruthless commando soldier of fortune
who has been instrumental in saving/dooming the world
multiple times throughout his lifespan,
is the avatar of one Barsimmeon Higgs.
- Barsimmeon Higgs. - [Brennan] The old weirdo-
- Mr. Persimmon. - [Brennan] Mr. Persimmon.
Discovering that, you guys had a whole tear
about getting shirts at the gift shop.
- Time well spent. - [Brennan] Time well spent.
We met a bunch of backflippers
from the Sidewinders Gymnastics Martial Arts Gym.
- It's important. - Who all talked to you
about Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate,
the same chemicals you saw in that frozen vault
back at the Mercury Facility for War Chemicals.
Now, within all of that, you guys met Reggie,
who was the clerk at the gift shop.
There were some other people as part of the gym.
Professor Gunshoot, who was masquerading as a 30 year old.
Maybe a 30 year old, we can't be sure. Seems 80.
And you also were asked about the Long Beach 5000,
which Vic is supposed to be racing at.
Then you guys called up a bunch of cars.
Shaun Nitro rolled up. A bunch of hot rods.
Greg Stocks has his Piedmont Hollingwood
from the Santo Patron, and I think we are gonna cut
right to the Long Beach 5000.
Oh, also, in our previous "Adventuring Party,"
check it out on Dropout.tv,
we purchased the entire suite of La Familia abilities.
- Yes, we did.
- Everyone now at the table can spend tokens
for your friends, if you're in the same scene as them,
at a one-to-one ratio.
You can also, once per episode,
make a Tough check on someone else's behalf,
and once per episode,
you can give a higher die type to somebody else.
- Fabulous.
- Envision now the start of the track
for the Long Beach 5000.
You see, sort of like warehouses, industrial,
we're sort of in an area
that's a little bit off the beaten path, right?
Far away from any main drags or any high population numbers,
which means as you roll around and see lights,
this thumping, sort of club lights,
all strobing out from underneath these souped up race cars.
The hoods are up.
Trunks are open with subwoofers the size of garbage can lids
just... (mimics subwoofers pulsing)
You see people huddled around the trunks
listening to the music thumping out from the cars,
and their jewelry and hair is like...
(Brennan mimics subwoofers pulsing)
The force of the bass
coming out of these speakers is moving them.
- Me and Dang are selling balloons.
- It's like pure club, going out,
this is the happening scene.
You're even like, there should be lots of cars.
Did people all Uber here? Where's the infrastructure?
Where are the bathrooms, right? But it doesn't matter.
It's too hot. It's too cool.
It's too quick, too perilous!
And you look up as you approach.
Shaun Nitro, your other friends here
that sort of roll up in Vic's squad.
You roll up in your car as well.
You see this dangerous-looking guy with a ripped-up racing,
kind of Formula One, intense driver's jacket,
goes up and says, "Everybody, shut the fuck up!
It's the king of wheels, baby! Romeo Chrome!"
And another guy leaps onto the hood of a sports car
as it (mimics engine revving) revs up.
He's got a pure clean white suit and a staff
that is a sort of oversized gearshift of a car,
slatted aviators, and he goes,
"People of Los Angeles, it's that time again,
for the Long Beach 5000,
the greatest name
in underground illegal Los Angeles street racing.
You know the rules.
It's a race within the confines of Long Beach.
First car to clock in at 5,000 miles per hour wins."
(Jacob cackling)
- Usha takes out a calculator.
5,000 miles per hour? That's not humanly possible.
- The body can't take it! - The body can't take it.
After 20 Gs, Mach 7!
- A machine could, but a body couldn't!
- But a body couldn't.
A machine could, but a body couldn't.
- Usha, you're right! Usha, you're smart and young!
- Not exactly.
- 5,000 miles per hour is somewhere in between
Mach 6 and Mach 7.
- Perfect.
- The fastest airplane we have in the year 2023
is Mach 9, so it is as- - Oh.
- The difference between an expensive razor
and a really expensive razor.
- And I think, right,
the whole width of the United States is about 3,000?
- Yes, so you'd be driving fast enough to make it
from Los Angeles to New York in under an hour.
- Oh, per hour, yeah. Not per minute.
And then you're just driving within the confines-
- Holy crap, that's kind of fast.
- What's that?
- You're driving within the confines of Long Beach.
- So you have to be driving in Long Beach, and find a way-
- I know. I'm from there, I know the route.
- You make it to the end of Long Beach in half of a second.
- Great. And then you win.
- And then you win. And then you win the race.
- Gotta go 110 to the Vincent St. Thomas.
- Right. - It's the only way.
- Gotta hit that strip
right near the Long Beach Towne Center.
- Oh, yes. Oh, yes.
- If you enter a different county, are you disqualified?
- Yes, if you leave the confines of Long Beach-
- Not going to Wilmington!
Not going to Carson! Not going to Lomita!
- Compton? Don't think about it!
- No, no, no! - No, no, no.
- Does driving into Belmont Shore count?
(players gasping) - The whole audience gasps.
- Did you just ask Romeo Cruise that?
- Romeo Chrome. - Romeo Cruise?
- You see Romeo Chrome looks and says,
"Vic, I can't believe you of all people
would talk about driving into Belmont.
You know that Belmont is forbidden."
(Rekha gasps) And he points his scepter,
and you see that there is
what looks like a mural on a brick wall
that has a group of people spray-painted on it
with sort of fanged clown faces on their motorcycle helmets,
and then a big circle with a line through it
like no, like not this,
and you just see it says, "No Belmont," underneath it,
and you look and see the helmet
from one of the motorcycleguys that was chasing you before.
- Yeah, but if I hit a drift
at the end of the Belmont Shore strip
and then crank it down Pacific, I'll hit 5,000 in no time.
So is it not recommended, or is it forbidden from the race?
- Romeo Chrome looks around and says,
"Any drivers participating in the race are allowed to veto.
Unless all of you agree that this is allowed,
the move will be considered illegal."
You see all the drivers look,
with their pride suddenly questioned.
They don't want to outlaw...
They don't want to say that something is unfair.
It would sort of cheapen their own prowess and skill.
A figure from the back goes,
(deep European accent) "I wish to disallow it."
Except all of you hear,
(squeaky old man voice) "I wish to disallow it!"
(players groan in recognition)
Turning around, you see Damian Bane stride forward and go,
"I think we should keep it as tight as possible,
in the purest confines of Long Beach only."
- Wow.
I didn't know that Damian Bane was a freak chicken
that was afraid to have a little detour.
- Damian Bane turns to look at you,
hears your voice and goes, (laughs)
"Never mind what I said!
I say no rules at all.
Let's just go absolutely nuts."
- Should I shoot him in the head?
- You see Kingskin look to Vic, and it looks like
he's a little bit attracted to Vic Ethanol right now.
(Rekha gasps)
- You see Damian Bane looks at Kingskin and is like,
"Hmm? Huh? Hmm, interesting."
- I kill him? - Is Damian Bane alone?
- What's that? - Is he alone?
Does he have anybody with him? - There are 12 other commandos
behind him. And you see, as you hold a gun-
- Kill him?
- Oh, what if you kill him?
Will we know how to get out of the movie?
- You think we'll just all of a sudden
know that when he's dead?
No, you gotta keep him alive, right?
- Okay. - It's my only thought.
- You see Damian Bane goes, "Let's race, you ragamuffins!"
and then runs off.
Everyone else hearing,
(deep voice) "Let's race, you ragamuffins,"
and runs off.
He jumps into a full tank,
and you see there's sort of a traffic light up.
It goes beep, beep, beep! Do you all jump into cars?
- Yeah. - I'm on my-
- We're all racing? - Motorcycle?
You can all race if you want! - Yeah.
- Or you can go in cars together.
- We need to put adranalanalan-
- Into the cars! - Izzy's spitting.
- Are you trying to say Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate?
- Yeah.
- Are any of our back-springers here?
- Oh, Sidewinders. - Oh, the Sidewinders?
- [Ally] Maybe just Doug Meat. - They're back at the gym.
They work out at night. - Is Doug Meat here?
- Right, they work out at night.
- They work out at night. - Can we see what's in-
- Is Doug Meat here? - We don't have enough time.
It's counting down right now. It's happening right now.
- It's counting down right now.
- So we can't break into Damian's car and see if he has-
- His car appears to be a tank.
- ...Quetiapine, which is the generic brand name
of my antipsychotic? - Yes.
- If he has that in his tank.
- You want to see if Damian Bane has your-
- Quetiapine. - Quetiapine?
- Adrenanoxinil Plutonium- - Adrenakryptonapine.
- Yes! (Jacob mumbling)
- Yeah, can I do...
I know we're counting down, Brennan.
We're counting down the seconds.
Can I do any sort of little Tech check?
- Everybody tell me the thing you're doing
in the seconds before the race starts.
- Okay. - So-
- Drive check. I'm at a d4.
I'm gonna win.
- Okay, got a Drive check right here. Hell yeah.
- Yeah. - That's a one.
- [Ify] I hop in my car, and right next to me is J-Kwon,
the celebrity rapper that's in this race movie.
He's like, "My chance for a threesome!"
- He looks at you and says, "I'm real J-Kwon!"
- He got trapped by Barsimmeon!
He's the real J-Kwon, and he doesn't...
He's not a different character,
he's just himself in the movie!
- He was going to Persimmon's birthday party.
- Yeah! - Hired talent.
- He came to the closing party.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- He didn't have an arc he needs to fulfill.
- Incredible.
- Okay. - I also jump in a car.
- Can I try and get...
Is there any way I can get into Damian's tank?
- Give me a Sneak check to get into it,
or you can give me a Stunts check to jump on top of it.
- I feel like you could dangle off the cannon.
You could go underneath the belly.
- Is this a protected location?
- Definitely. It's a tank.
- So I lower the difficulty by three.
- Uh-oh! SpaghettiOs! - Okay!
Okay, so that's going to move from an eight to a five.
The difficulty is five. - Uh-oh!
- You got this. You got this, blow up!
- On Stunts or on- - Sneak. This is on Sneak.
- Then I'm at a d4.
- [Rekha] I have a d6. Can I lend?
- [Brennan] Oh! Yes, this can be your one this episode.
La Familia. You can lend the d6 Sneak.
- [Izzy] It's your one time per episode.
- It's La Familia, baby. - Wow, look at that.
Okay, go ahead and roll the d6.
- Five. - Five, that's the difficulty!
- Yes! - Hell yes!
Describe for me, how does Usha help Paula in this moment?
- Okay. - I'm gonna get in the car.
- You can't possibly.
The velocity of the car is moving
such that the acceleration due to gravity-
- It's like Usha's making fun of herself!
- Does a bunch of tech stuff, and throws you
a weird aerodynamic vest of some sort
so that you have better jumping ability
onto this tank that gets you to sneak better.
- It's magnetic. It'll stick you to the metal.
- Hell yeah.
- I thought you were just going to distract them
by flirting with Barsimmeon, your boyfriend.
- Yeah. - Oh fuck!
- A magnet-lined vest is thrown to you.
You leap up and jam yourself into the tank just before-
- It's so hot on me.
- It looks- - Yeah, it looks so hot.
- Us oldies gotta stick together.
It's so fitting of your form. - You shut your effing mouth!
- It's hitting all the correct places.
- With this second divorce,
I can't deal with you calling me old right now.
- It looks great on you.
- Amazing. Okay.
Jack Manhattan leaps into the tank
seconds before Damian Bane gets on top.
You see he looks out.
The 12 other commandos look,
and you see that one of them looks up and says,
"Boss, you want we should race with you?"
And another one says,
"That's right. We can cover you, if you need."
You see he turns around.
Damian Bane says, "Not necessary for this one, my friends,
but why don't you head back to the choppers and cover me
in case there's any shenanigans afoot?"
And you see they all go, (grunts) "Warrior Kings out!"
And the 12 other commandos head out from there.
Looks like the Warrior...
It was in Damian Bane's thing.
He's part of the Warrior Kings, that are an elite group
of the 13 deadliest commandos on the planet.
- Loser.
- I'll be sure to write that down.
- Yeah.
- [Jacob] I'll be sure to write that down.
- I'll be sure to write that down.
- Yeah, writing it down.
- Jacob just sees the number 12 in his head.
- Okay, Warrior Kings, 13 or 12?
- 13, including Persimmon.
So Jack Manhattan, you jump in there just as Damian Bane,
boom, thuds down into the well of the tank,
leaps into the front.
You see that he opens a sort of locked compartment,
takes out one of these. - (gasps) Prop?
Oh my god! (Brennan slurps)
(Brennan gibbering like he's powering up)
- Slams a foot on the gas pedal.
This tank takes off from zero-
- Did we start? - Bing!
His tank is going 220 miles per hour
as it crosses the start line.
- If you don't mind, can I hop in your car with you?
I failed my Drive test,
so I think I tried to start the motorcycle
and was like, "Fuck, it's out of gas!" and run to your car.
- [Brennan] So you jump in this two seat coupe.
- Yes, please.
- Jude, right before the race starts,
map me out the quickest route to Long Beach Airport.
- Oh my god! Yes. (Izzy babbling excitedly)
- What, Paula? What, Paula?
(Izzy continues babbling) - You hear a voice over the Piedmont Hollingwood.
"Very good, sir. Mapping route."
- Hell yeah.
- [Brennan] As the car does that, it ejects a little cigar,
and two little icy glasses of scotch
come out of the CD case. - [Ally] Hell yeah!
- [Jacob] Hey, help yourself, baby.
- Thank you. Mm, good.
- You're about to tear off.
Vic, you and J-Kwon are there. Kingskin.
J-Kwon is grabbing you, going,
"I'm real J-Kwon! I'm trapped in this car!"
- I just ignore him and I flick on all my turbo-
(engines revving)
- Help me! Please help me!
- Let's ride.
- What is Liv up to?
- [Alex] Liv in Kingskin's body is like,
I'm not meant to go that fast, or that quick, I should say.
So Kingskin stays behind and tries to talk to the people
in the crowd to try to suss out some information.
- Hell yeah. - [Ally] Nice.
- Usha, what are you up to? - So I'm in a car,
but I would love to see if I can soup it up
via some garbage-y tech nonsense.
Can I do some crazy thing that's like,
wait a minute, using my sunglasses
to reflect the power of the sun right into the-
- It's night, it's night, it's night.
The moon! - The moon!
- The moon is the sun. - At night.
- At night- - The moon is the night sun!
- The night's sun is the moon.
- The moon is the night sun is-
- Rekha said that to me with such conviction
that I was like, I'm a fucking idiot.
- Idiot! The moon is the night sun!
- That's gotta be a gang in this world.
- Okay, wait, okay, so Usha-
- The moon is the night sun! - A crowd of people show up.
They're like, "We heard the call."
- Okay, you can tell me if I can't do this, Brennan,
but I do want to use the light of the moon to reflect off,
to do some weird technological nonsense from an action movie
to make my car go even faster,
reflecting the power of the light-
- It's lunar powered. - Something like that,
that reflects back into the accelerator,
makes it go even faster than what the car's limitation is.
Can I do something goofy like that?
- Yes, you absolutely can. - Yes!
You threw me a magnet vest.
- What is your current Drive die?
- My Drive die? It's a d6, but I have Transporter.
Lower the DC of a Drive check by three to avoid pursuers.
I know I'm not being pursued,
but kind of, a race is like an eternal-
- I will allow this... I will allow this...
If you roll a Tech check- - Okay.
- Whatever you roll, that'll be your Drive die
for your first Drive check,
or you can take half of what you roll on a Tech check
and use it for the drive for the entire encounter.
(Ally whistles)
So if you hit a nat 20, you'd be rolling a d10.
- I'll try. - Give it a shot? Okay.
- Feeling lucky? - You feeling lucky?
- I don't know. Shouldn't I do the cooler thing?
- Yes! - Here's your Tech check.
Okay, we're going to roll it.
Here we go. Go ahead and roll.
- 15. - Nice!
- 15, okay, you can either roll a d12
for your first Drive roll, or you can take it half.
Unfortunately, half would get you back to a d6,
which is where you already started,
because it's 15 halved to 7, which would round down to a d6.
- Yes. - So I would recommend
taking a d12 on your first Drive check.
- I will do a d12. - Cool, so you get into a car,
and plug in a little port or something into this car.
(mimics computer buzzing and beeping) G13!
- And I have this memory of my granddaughter Lisa
doing a little science project and saying,
"Grandma, Daadee,
the moon is the night sun."
- Isn't she a teenager? - Huh?
- I'm sorry.
- I was around when she did science projects
when she was little!
- I'm sorry, I'm sorry. - The moon is the night sun.
The moon is the night sun. The moon is the night sun!
- Coming up on the screen, you see,
"Activating lunar panels."
- Sustainable.
- Sustainable. You activate your lunar panels.
So, I'm going to ask for Drive checks
from Dang, Wendell, and Usha.
You failed your Drive check. You're in the car.
- Is there a Help mechanic in this world?
Could I give him the Help action?
- That would be represented by giving Turbo Tokens.
- Okay. - Right?
- I got an eight. - Eight, cool.
- Blew it up. Six. (players cheering)
- Bam! - Let's go, let's go!
- A clean little three to start.
- Cool. - All right, that's two,
so eight. - Eight.
- Oh, blow it up. - I don't have any-
- I have one. - Great.
- Oh shit. Okay, here we go.
- What do you have? - You have one? How?
- I failed my first Drive thing.
- Yeah yeah yeah, so you're actually helping.
- Yeah, by failing. - That's your Help action.
Cool. - Cool.
- All right, boom. - I get to go again.
- Wait, do I get one? - Go again. D6.
- [Rekha] Because I just...
No.
- One. - One, okay.
So we have an eight.
We have a seven over here now? - Yeah.
- And then what did we roll over here?
- I rolled an eight. - An eight, cool.
Eight, eight, seven.
So, tearing off from this,
we transition into the Long Beach 5000.
There are about 20 cars, right?
So you've got three vehicles on the track right now.
Jack Manhattan hiding in the tank with Damian Bane.
That is the fourth vehicle.
There are 16 other cars on the track,
all of you attempting to be the first car
within the confines of Long Beach
to hit 5,000 miles per hour.
Kingskin, give me a Wits check right away.
- Oh, Kingskin. - Such a funny-
- Difficulty of five. - Oh no, I only have a d4.
- Blow it up.
- That's a one. - [Jacob] That's a one.
- It's not going well. - Big time.
- Get that token. - Oh yeah, thank you.
- So Kingskin, what are you doing back here?
You said you wanted to stay and talk to people.
Is that true? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Is that true? - Is that true?
Do you want to do that? - Did you lie?
- Or did you lie to me?
- Liv just wanted to sit down for a bit.
(players laughing)
- Catch your breath and really figure it out.
Six people have been yelling around you for three days.
- We just watch an enormous gangster be like,
"I'm gonna stay and figure things out,"
and walk over to a curb and just sit down and go...
- This day has been too much. - Too much.
- Like the "Forrest Gump" DVD cover,
with a giant on the bench.
- Vince D'Onofrio on the front being like,
waiting for someone to come talk, so yeah-
- Oh no, no, okay, I'll approach somebody.
Anyone look like a henchman of mine?
- Give me a Wits check. We'll call it difficulty...
Finding your own henchmen here is not going to hard.
It's going to be just a four.
- Wasn't Dave Meat with us? - Doug.
- Doug Meat. - Dave's his little brother.
- [Brennan] Oh yeah, Doug Meat is with you.
- Oh, okay. Still roll?
It's a three.
- A three is not a four, so that'll be a failure.
- All right.
- [Brennan] Go ahead and take a Turbo Token.
- Do you have a little guy?
- You don't want to blow it up?
- I'm going to collect some of these little guys.
- [Brennan] Some little guys!
- Yeah, I'm gonna take some more guys.
Okay, so I don't know if I see-
- 20 cars peel out of here going faster than you've...
Vic's car is out in front, tank surging ahead.
We have Greg Stocks's car, which is keeping pace,
this Moonrider lunar car.
It's like, "Calculating lunar power,
10 times normal solar power."
- Whoa, that's a lot.
- The moon is the night sun.
- Have the helicopters taken off yet?
- Helicopters have not taken off yet.
- I'll settle for whoever waved the flag.
I'm going to talk to that person.
- Cool. - You're gonna go chat?
- Yeah.
- You walk up to a woman who's got kind of the striped,
the sort of athletic tracksuit,
long ponytail, hoop earrings.
She's got the sort of black and white checkered flag.
She turns around and says, "Kingskin.
Fancy meeting you here."
- Kingskin, as Liv, is like, "Oh! I like your hair."
- What? - Anyways, I was wondering-
- It's over between us, Kingskin.
(Rekha gasps) - Oh.
- I got that energy. I was like, this is ex energy.
- Oh.
- I'm not dancing at your club anymore.
(Rekha gasps) I'm a mechanic now.
- Oh. - I took over my father's shop
after he got killed by some gang,
and I'll find out who it was. (Rekha gasps)
- Huh. Okay, well, let me just remember that.
Didn't even ask a question yet.
- What's your question you want to ask me?
- I was gonna ask if you knew anything about Damian Bane.
- Damian Bane?
It's over between me and him.
- She be datin'! - She is getting her toes wet!
- Gotta get in these streets for love.
- [Brennan] You see that Romeo Chrome
crosses his arms like this and goes like-
- She fucked Barsimmeon.
- I wouldn't try it with Liana. Not again, Kingskin.
She's part of the Diesel family.
They're old car crime blood here in Los Angeles.
- Okay, well, how about you? What are you a part of?
- What? - What are you a part of?
- I'm the king of wheels.
That guy said it when I jumped up on the hood.
- Sorry, I'm just trying to- - This person's not racing?
They were just making announcements?
- Romeo Chrome- - King of wheels.
- ...is not racing? - [Alex] King of wheels?
- No, Romeo Chrome is holding...
The king is not one of the knights!
- Diesel family. - You sit at the head
of the table, you send the knights out.
- King doesn't fight in the army, right?
- Yeah, exactly.
Liana Diesel walks away, but you see that she walks
over to a figure, off into sort of the corners.
You see that there's this skinny-looking,
got black jeans, black hoodie, ski mask on,
and you see that she goes over to talk to him,
and he's got a duffel bag over his shoulder,
and she exchanges a couple words with him.
He nods, and you see that he sort of walks out,
clicks his heels together, and two little wheelies
sort of pop out of his sneakers and he begins to-
- The king of wheels.
- ...wheelie down the racetrack.
- That guy's gonna go 5,000 miles per hour?
- He's racing himself. - The duffel! The duffel!
- Yeah, Kingskin, is there anything else
that you do in this moment?
- I would like to go for the duffel.
- You're just going to start running after the guy.
- Oh, he's got the duffel.
He's running with it.
He didn't leave it behind. - Yeah, he's skating away
with the duffel bag over his shoulder.
- He's on Heelys. - Which are not fast.
- Can I get Doug Meat to go after him?
- [Brennan] Doug Meat looks over and says,
"What do you want, boss?"
- Do me a favor and go after that guy.
- Yeah, it's not even a favor. I'm happy to do it.
- Oh, okay, well, I appreciate it either way.
- Great, you want me to get the guy
who's going away on the Heelys?
- Yeah, I think maybe we keep this conversation shorter.
- Oh my god!
- Okay. - I'm so sorry, Doug.
- Doug Meat's going to roll a Stunts check.
- You feel bad, but yet you've done it.
- But Doug needs to self-regulate.
He cannot rely on Kingskin for validation all the time.
- It was just urgency in this situation,
and Doug didn't seem to understand!
- That was the most brutal thing I've ever heard in my life.
- You see Doug Meat takes off running
as the guy Heely skates away and just starts to sprint
down the middle of the road here in Long Beach
away from this giant party. - His tears flying.
- I think you look around. It seems like a happening party.
You know, there's food carts. You could get street corn.
- Yeah, I think- - [Jacob] Elote!
- Elote! Yeah, there you go!
- I think now, Kingskin does feel bad,
and goes to sit on the curb for a little bit.
- Hey. Hey, Kingskin?
Just go ahead and take a Turbo Token.
(players clapping and laughing)
- So sad. - Go ahead and grab one.
- [Jacob] A pity token. - An emotional Turbo Token.
- Emotional. We cut back to the race, baby!
So we had an eight, an eight, and a seven.
We are now going to roll for Damian.
I'm going to let you know right now,
Damian Bane subtracts five from the difficulty of all rolls.
- Because of the- - Because of the Quetiapine?
- Yeah, totally. - Latuda.
- So. The Latuda! - Because of the Latuda!
- So let's see what he gets.
So his difficulty he's trying to beat
with those eights and sevens is just,
he needs to beat a three.
That's a nine, so-
- Okay, let me ask you something.
- Yeah-huh? - He's driving a tank.
- Yeah. - That don't go fast.
- This tank is going 400 miles an hour.
- Okay, and that's because he drank green-
- Did the tank drink green something?
- When you are good at driving,
your vehicle goes faster. - Yeah.
- Got it. - Got it, yeah.
- Do I see where he take it out of?
- Yes, he had a locked compartment.
He took a swig, put it back, and clicked it back shut again.
- Okay. - But it's in front of him.
You're behind him. You're concealed with a Sneak check.
You see Damian driving as he's going through, and he goes,
"Hitting 5,000 miles per hour should be trivial,
nothing more than a cakewalk,
as long as I can go straight through the buildings!"
And he's looking to sort of,
everyone has their different strategy for this,
and his strategy is, he's going to pick up enough speed
that the structures in the neighborhood
will not slow down his tank's movement.
Jack, what are you doing in this moment in the tank?
- I'm going to try and get in that drawer.
- Okay, because it's right next to him,
and you're in this cramped interior of a tank,
this is going to be a Sneak 10.
- Double blow up. - Three.
- No! - Do you have a little guy?
- No.
- We would have to be in the- - We need to be present?
- Take a Turbo Token. - All right, you got a token.
- Does he see me? - Yes, Damian Bane-
- I'm going to punch him in the head with my gun.
- Okay, go ahead, give me a Brawl check.
- Not Weapons? - Yeah, give me Weapons.
- Okay.
What did you want?
- A Weapons check. - What did you fucking want?
- Did my makeup fall off? - Your makeup fall off?
- He rolled an 18 on his Tough check.
- [Ally] No, you look great. - Okay.
- So what did you roll on your Weapons check?
- Three.
- Okay, you rolled a three. Okay, so you-
- What did you want?
- So you sneak up, fiddling around,
and to describe where your hand is,
here's him driving, and here's where your hand is.
- No!
- So he's looking out here and is like, "Oh!"
And he turns around, and you punch him right in the head
with the butt of your gun, pistol-whip, bam!
As you do, he's going to make a Brawl check.
I'm going to need you to roll Tough.
- What's your injury level? - I have one.
- You have one.
So go ahead and give me a Tough check real quick.
- Okay, okay.
- You got this.
- You're tough. - Yeah.
- What are you at, d6? Okay.
- Three. - Three, okay.
He rolled a 10, so you fail by more than five.
So you pistol-whip him, he sees it and goes,
"Tsk tsk, Detective, I don't think this is very sporting,"
headbutts your pistol, and breaks the wrist of your hand.
You take an injury level. - All right, I'm at severe.
I'm going to try and kiss him.
- Okay, we're going to move to what's happening
elsewhere in the race right now.
(players dissolving into quiet giggles)
- Broken wrist, goes in for the kiss.
- Wait, that's not what I was trying to do.
- The race is going to end, and the tank is going to open,
and Paula's dead body is going to flop out.
- Kissing!
- [Brennan] You see, out on the racetrack-
- (loudly gasps) Gorgeous.
- Are you rolling a check on your own?
- No, it's a check for how the rest of this episode
is going to go, and I got a nat 20.
- Okay, okay!
- I didn't mean to gasp so loud.
- It's already a nat 20.
- So Vic, you are surging forward across the racetrack.
For the people that are driving,
let's go ahead and get Drive checks right now.
- Again? Okay. - [Ally] You got this.
- Six! - Nice.
- It blew up! - [Brennan] You blew up!
- Three. - Three for me as well.
- Six. - Five, so 11.
- Nice. - Hell yeah.
- Okay, you got an 11.
Damian Bane subtracts five from everybody's roll
because he's on this Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate,
but he, on his Drive check, rolled a four, which means
you get a six and beat him. - Nice.
- So the Moonrider peels out in front of him,
buildings soaring past you as fast as possible.
- She's singing to herself...
♪ Moonrider ♪
And there's cloud coverage that's been preventing
the Moonrider from going 100%. - Yeah.
- But the clouds begin to clear,
and the moon shines in all its sun glory
onto the solar panels, the moon panels.
- The lunar panels, yeah.
- The lunar panels. And this thing fucking goes, baby!
- Tears off, tears off. Nothing like moon power.
- I'm surprised that Usha's theme song
is not, like, ragtime.
- Oh yeah, the next part goes...
♪ Hello my Moonrider, hello my Moonrider ♪
♪ Hello, my Moonrider babe ♪
- [Brennan] I love it. Okay.
As you surge forward, now checks across the board.
Those Drive checks are for free.
What are other people doing out here on the racetrack?
- Oh, I'm still just pumping it down, but at this point,
I start opening up my NOS canisters,
but it's spelled N-A-W-S, NAWS.
- NAWS! - NAWS!
- Now it's time to take it into overdrive.
- Hell yes. - And what is J-Kwon doing?
- By the way, for those Drive checks,
a Turbo Token here and here. - Copy.
- So a Turbo Token here and here.
- [Ally] All right.
- Because Damian pulled ahead of you.
So right now, it's Moonrider, Warrior Kings tank,
and then Greg Stocks and Vic Ethanol side by side,
tearing through Long Beach.
As you are moving through, Jennifer, what are you up to?
- I'd love to do some kind of check to help this,
so whether I'm doing maps, navigating or I don't know-
- Hell yeah. If you want to do navigation, that's great.
You also see, at this moment,
you hear (mimics engines revving)
and see a bunch of dirt bikes,
fanged clown faces painted on dirt bike helmets.
- We're not even in Belmont Shores yet!
- Tearing off into the racetrack.
So enemies are also sort of abounding at this moment.
- Could I try and do an oil slick?
- Hell yeah. - "Mario Kart!"
- Hell yeah, go ahead and give me a Tech check here.
Jennifer, what are you up to?
- Yeah, can I help with that too?
I guess I'll just do Brawl.
- Hell yeah. Go ahead and give me a Brawl check.
- Blowing up! - Oh, we blew up! Bam!
- Nice!
- Five. Five.
- Okay. - Nice.
- Hell yes, you see that behind you,
three of the dirt bike riding killer clowns
wipe out on the grease.
Boom, boom boom boom boom boom!
Each one, bam, blowing up behind you.
Jennifer, you look out.
This guy rolls a one, so a motorcycle comes up alongside.
As the window comes down, what do you do to this guy?
- I think I just have a club,
or one of those nightstick kind of deals,
and I just hit them off their bike.
- Bam! Dude goes flying.
- Dang, those guys seem tired.
- Vic, what are you doing?
- I hit the e-brake to spin my car around and hit a mailbox
and send it flying back towards them.
- Hell yeah. Give me a Drive check.
- All right. Let's try this out!
It's a one. - Okay.
So, you hit a mailbox.
As you hit the mailbox, your car is vivisected in half.
- What? - Yes!
- So right down the middle,
and J-Kwon in the passenger seat goes (shrieks)
and just tears off.
He goes down a side street.
He's going probably, now, 1,000 miles an hour, right?
- And he has no steering wheel, right?
- But you're going so fast. - Still drivable.
- And you have your weight, so even though it's open air,
the breath is getting sucked out of your body,
the wind's moving so fast
as you're in just the left half of a car.
You see that mailbox, by the way,
it's got to be made out of some kind of wild material.
It's like a pure titanium mailbox.
The front door opens, and you see a guy
with a full camo beret and warpaint on comes out and says,
"Don't hit my mailbox!" (mimics gunfire)
and just unloads on the other cars.
About five of the other cars in the main pack
just get blasted away.
Moving through this space, you are now driving half a car.
Give me one more Drive check, difficulty of five.
- Okay.
- And take a Turbo Token for that.
- Oh yeah, I took the Turbo Token.
- Cool, cool, cool. - And I fired that d8.
We're done there. That's five. - Okay, cool.
You sink in and realize,
you have less weight you're dragging.
- [Ally] Yeah!
- Actually, this is an even better car now.
- This is the perfect car.
- Because it's more aerodynamic, it's more streamlined.
You just only need the half of the car.
- And everyone knows, all of the engine parts are on-
- On the left side!
- You have a hemispherical engine
for just an occasion just like this.
- Yeah. - For just an occasion.
- Radio's still playing 'cause it was on this side too.
- But only the left channel of audio.
- But your charger was on the other side.
- Fuck! - No!
- You're listening to "California Dreamin'"
so it's just one half a song.
- [Brennan] Okay.
♪ Dreamin' ♪
- So as you're taking off,
Vic, you fall in back behind here.
Jack Manhattan, you are looking at Damian Bane,
who for a second goes,
"Well, I'm going to kick you apart," and then-
- Kick you apart? (Jacob laughing)
- But takes a moment,
because he sees that he's falling behind in the race,
and you see he gets on the radio and goes,
"Oh, boys! Time to launch the Apaches.
Some shenanigans are indeed afoot!"
Kingskin, back at the start of the race,
you see three attack helicopters
(mimics helicopter blades thumping)
begin to take off and head towards the center of Long Beach.
After that happens, you see that he is going to use his turn
not to attack Paula, but instead,
he launches a harpoon chain gun
at the back of the Moonrider in front of him
to try to lance himself to the car out in front.
- Wannabe!
- He's going to make a Weapons check here.
- This is not what the moon is all about.
- Okay, that is a...
Because you lower the difficulty by three to avoid pursuers-
- Yes. - ...his 16 becomes a 13,
so you need to beat a 13 Drive check to avoid this.
What's your Drive right now?
- I'm at a d8. - Okay.
- Blow it up. You got this. - You got this.
- [Ify] Blow it right up.
- That's a one. - Okay.
Go ahead, take a Turbo Token.
You feel, at the back of the Moonrider,
(Brennan grunts) (chains clanging)
as a huge chain with a suddenly, clang,
grappling hook that goes into the trunk
and then lances out and drags,
and suddenly, he shifts the tank into neutral,
and you are dragging a tank behind you as he stands up,
abandoning the controls of the tank,
to turn to face Jack Manhattan and goes,
"Now begins the duel of your life."
- Amazing.
- Okay! From there, we're going to cut back to Kingskin.
- Kingskin has his head in his hands.
How is Doug's progress in chasing that man?
- He's probably 40, 50 feet away.
He's been running for a couple seconds.
- You know what, Kingskin strong-arms his way
to try to get a car and go after his friends.
- Okay, cool. Awesome. - Yeah, yeah.
- One of the cars is playing music right now.
You see it's sort of raised a little bit up,
hydraulic wheels, the car is up, subwoofers going.
As you approach, what do you say?
You see there's a guy sort of leaning
against the driver's side window
who's talking to a couple other onlookers, partygoers here.
He has five o'clock shadow over, like, 90% of his head.
It's like five o'clock shadow beard,
five o'clock shadow head, eyebrows, five o'clock shadow.
Turns to look over at you and goes, "Well, well, well.
If it isn't Kingskin. Never thought I'd see you again."
- Uh-huh, it's me. Look, I don't feel great.
I'm just gonna take your car, okay?
- You want to take my car? - Uh-huh.
- It's over between us. - I knew it!
- Kingskin!
Keep that skin in!
- Keep that foreskin in!
- [Rekha] In! - [Ally] No!
- I'm sorry, whatever I did to you,
if I didn't call you back.
Is that what happened?
- Yeah. - [Rekha] No!
- Hey.
Kingskin puts a hand on his shoulder.
I really valued our time together.
(Rekha gasps)
- Give me a Hot check, difficulty of five.
- Okay. - What's your Hot?
- D8.
- Ooh, that's hot! - Okay, okay.
- Five. - [Ally] Oh, that's right!
- There it is, baby! There it is!
You see he looks at you and goes... (smooches)
(Rekha gasps)
Gives your hand a little kiss on his shoulder. "All right."
- Kingskin brings his hand back
and touches it to his own lips.
- You see this guy goes, "Aw."
- Weird kiss. - [Ally] Aw, okay.
- He says, "All right, you can have my car.
Just make sure you bring it back."
(Rekha gasps)
- I'll leave a little something in there for you.
- Ew!
- [Ally] Skin? - [Rekha] Yeah, a little skin.
- What, sexually? What? What do you mean?
- I don't know.
- Yeah, a little piece of foreskin in there.
- No!
- I just meant a little present or something.
- Yeah. - Haven't thought of what yet.
- A little bottle of your- - A little cum, yeah.
- A Razzmatazz from Jamba Juice.
- I've got a little present for you too, when you get back.
- Oh, okay. All right.
- I'd love that.
- Cool, you see that the other three people who are all here
sort of look out and go, "Nice. Way to go, Simon."
And you see he says, "Thank you,"
and they all walk off together.
He just leaves his car running.
- [Ally] Damn. - The front door's open.
- All right. Thanks, Simon.
I get in the car.
- Hell yeah. Give me a Drive check.
- Here we go!
(suspenseful cymbal)
Four. Explode! - Boom!
- Get in the race.
- Five. Can we make it explode again?
- [Brennan] Hell yeah! - Yes!
- Boom. - One more time.
Two, so that's 12? - 12!
- Hell yeah.
- So Kingskin, you tear off in this guy's car.
As it does, you see there's a bunch of buttons
on the console,
something with a wheel symbol that has knives around it,
a lot of other wild technological things in this vehicle.
- Ooh, Simon!
- And as you tear off,
you see the Apache helicopters up ahead veering left
after the main pack of the cars up ahead of you.
We cut back to the main race.
Paula, Damian Bane is facing you.
You are in the sort of tiny cockpit of this tank,
facing down this towering Nordic supersoldier.
- Okay.
- What do you want to do?
- I would like to get my walkie-talkie.
- Hell yeah.
- And I would like to call for backup.
- So you get on the walkie.
- Yeah!
- Wow, brick! - Hell yeah.
- I go,
"Backup! I need backup!"
- [Brennan] Goes, "What the hell? Jack, is that you?"
- Mr. Kosciusko!
- That's Lieutenant Kosciusko, goddammit!
- I need help! I'm with Damian Blake!
- Who?
- Bane! - Bane!
- [Brennan] Okay. - [Rekha] Hospital!
- Damian Blake! - Damian Blake?
- Damian Blake! - I'm with James Blake!
(players laughing)
- I'm with Nosaj Thing!
- You're with who? James Blake?
Is that the guy...
Which guy is that?
- He dated Jameela Jamil!
- Is that, I walked across an endless-
- That's James Blunt!
- Who the hell is on this line? This is a police only line!
- I'm with (stammering)- - Damian Bane is just waiting,
completely stock still as you talk on this walkie.
- I'm going to shoot him. - Okay, you go for a gun?
Go ahead and make an attack roll.
- Help! Come! - I need help! So funny.
- Make a Weapons check.
- Oh god. Is he wielding a gun yet?
- No, he's bare-fisted.
- Okay, can I hold up my gun and wait until he reaches for-
- It doesn't look like he's reaching for a gun.
- You got this. - [Izzy] Is he bulletproof?
- Oh my god! Is he going to explode-
- It's so tight in here that he's probably
going to try to just grab your wrist and punch you.
- Okay.
(intense action music)
Two. - Do you have tokens?
- He's going to make a Toughness check.
- [Izzy] I have one. - He succeeds on his Tough.
So you go to fire, and he just grabs your wrist
and swivels to the side as the bullet just pings off-
- Pings off of, and kills him?
- This is what the dice are for,
is determining what happens! - Okay.
- You see that he- - Can I try and kick him?
- Well, he's going to now try to kick you.
- Okay.
- He's going to make a Brawl check.
He rolls a d20.
This is going to be Box of Doom.
- But that's not even funny.
- It actually isn't very funny.
- Honestly?
- This might not be funny.
- You understand how a d20 against a d6 isn't funny?
- I think it's hilarious.
- I'm having a laugh. - [Ally] Having a laugh!
- Okay. - [Ally] Does he crit?
- He rolls an 11. - Yeah.
- Okay, you just need a six to not take an injury level,
right, because you need to fail-
- Oh, okay. - You need a seven-
- In Tough? - In Tough.
Go ahead, roll Box of Doom.
- Did you take a fail token for your last fail?
- Yeah, you failed. Take another token.
- [Rekha] Look at me. - Okay, go ahead and roll.
- [Rekha] Now I know how to play.
- There's something else in the box.
- Okay, that might be cheating. Be honest.
- So you need to reroll. - Go ahead.
- It might be lower. - Go ahead. Go.
- That might be cheating.
That might be cheating.
- That is a four. - Okay.
- But tokens. (Izzy stammering excitedly)
- Yeah! - I do it!
- You do it. Boom, okay, it explodes.
Now roll a d8. - Okay.
- Not to be a hater. - What?
- Yeah? - Oh?
- Aren't you severely injured?
- Oh, you are severely injured.
- So two would count as one.
- No, but nobody remembered that until just now!
- Okay, Alex?
(players chattering over each other)
- Also, Ify, consider that that might not be funny.
- I'm going to say, okay- - That might not be funny.
- As you are leaping forward,
you spend two to go up one to a five.
As that is happening, you're one away,
I'm going to say that rocketing out of the shadows,
J-Kwon slams into the back of the tank and is going to,
now being in that scene with you,
is going to spend two of his Turbo Tokens,
because he's real and here. - Yeah.
And he's been failing. - He's been failing a lot.
- We saw it on his face. This man is rich.
- He has 75 Turbo Tokens. - 75 Turbo Tokens, right?
So that's going to bump to a six.
- Gotta save J-Kwon! - Now, you're automatically
going to not take an injury level.
Let's see if you can succeed all the way,
and actually beat that roll overall.
- Big time.
- [Ally] Big timer. - [Brennan] That is a three.
Okay, there you go. - Woo!
- So that's nine overall. You succeed on this roll.
Here are your dice. So, Damian Bane-
- I succeed?
- Yeah, you don't take any injury.
- And you're up a dice.
- [Brennan] And you're up to a d8 on Tough.
- Woo! - Okay.
- You see Damian Bane, boom, kicks you in the chest.
You fly back (grunts) into the wall,
but manage to scramble up to your feet as fast as possible.
Back on the walkie, you hear Kosciusko saying,
"Goddammit, Manhattan! Where are you?
What's going on? Are you in trouble?"
- The tank! The tank!
- The tank? - The Laguna 5000!
- All right, boys! Get every chopper to Laguna Beach!
- No!
Long Beach!
- Where are we?
(Alex laughing breathlessly)
- Everyone get to Dana Point immediately!
- Just a bunch of people relaxing on the beach.
- Oceanside, pronto!
- And then all these cops start swarming!
- Certainly wouldn't be in Orphanage Row.
- Orphanage District! It's Orphanage District!
- It's Orphan District in Orphan City.
- Use Find My Friends!
- Use what? - Use Find My Friends?
(Izzy stuttering with laughter)
- Give me a DC 15 Tech check
to have Find My Friends be real.
- [Ally] On dial-up? - In the 80s, yeah.
- I believe in you.
I believe in you. I fucking believe in you.
- On a cell phone that barely makes phone calls,
is Find My Friends real?
- It's the Yellow Pages!
People were really good with the Yellow Pages back then.
- Can I look outside and know that it's Long Beach?
- Sure, sure. - [Ally] Do a 15 Tech check.
- No one even made you say Laguna!
- Nobody's been like, "Well, that's it!
You said it, and that's it!"
- Everything happening to you is self-administered.
- [Izzy] Oh god.
- There's something about holding the walkie-talkie
that makes everything a little more mad.
- It really feels like you have to say something right.
- I mean...
I mean Long Beach! - Yeah!
- Hey! He says, "All right, boys.
Turn it around. Head to Long Beach."
(mimics helicopter thrumming) Okay.
- Can we get some menthol smelling salts in here?
- Okay, now, rest of the drivers, what's going on?
- I'm still focused on trying to hit that five thou,
so I'm speeding up.
- Hell yes. Okay, awesome.
- Actually, in the history of a lot of the "Fast" fan tries,
when you're racing,
you always got the police line in the car.
- The CB, yeah.
- Yeah, so hearing that she's in danger
and they're calling for backup,
I try and get next to the tank.
- Vic, you pull up.
You got half of your Supra ready to go.
You pull up alongside.
What do you do as you engage with Damian Bane's tank?
- I push next to it and then reach over
and connect my car to it so that if we happen to hit 5,000,
it would also count for me as well.
- Hell yeah. - I hop onto the car.
- Go ahead and give me a Tech check.
You are trying to attach half of a Supra
to a tank at 300 miles an hour.
- Okay. - So we're going to go ahead,
we're going to call this a difficulty...
I'm going to be mean. I'm going to say it's difficulty nine.
- Let's go for it.
All right, two. I'm gonna burn two to blow it up.
- Yes! - [Brennan] Woo!
- All right, and then we're going to go right here.
Where's that d6? Hold on. - It's right there.
- Oh yeah, I totally missed the d6.
Four. All right. - Eight. One shy of nine.
Fuck, okay.
- But now you get a failure. - Yeah, you get a Turbo Token.
So you ramp up next to it. Bang, bang, bang, bang!
And start to lay up against the tank,
trying to wrap something onto the side
and fuse your Toyota Supra onto it.
You see that the huge, circular,
the wheels inside of the tank treads,
these little sort of hooked blades start fissuring out
and you just see nothing but sparks everywhere
as you see a bunch of automatic weaponry comes out
and just starts firing out of the side of the tank,
(mimics gunfire) all throughout.
Go ahead and give me a Drive check
to avoid this Weapons check. - All right.
- Difficulty of six. - All right.
That's an eight. It's blowing up.
- Boom! Here we go, d10.
- That's too big. (Rekha howls)
That is another eight, so 16. - 16, hell yes.
You avoid the weapons effortlessly.
You pull up alongside,
so you're flanking right in front of it.
You look in half of your rear-view mirror
and look behind you and see, coming in low,
there are a bunch of Apache attack helicopters coming in.
Greg and Jennifer, what's going on?
- You seemed like you had a-
- Yeah, I turn to Dang and I'm like,
Dang, do you have some kind of grappling hook?
I don't know, fucking-
- What do you want to do, baby?
- I'm trying to get up onto that tank.
- I just press a button and eject the seat.
- Hell yes. - Amazing.
- Okay, go ahead,
I'm going to say that this is a difficulty...
You guys can combine your actions together here.
This is a difficulty 12 Stunts check,
but you can add your Stunts die with your Tech die, cool?
- Okay, so I'm not rolling Stunts, I'm rolling Tech.
- You're rolling Tech. - Okay.
- Because you're ejecting the seat
in the exact right position-
- And I'm still going to head to the airport.
- Hell yeah. - If that's okay.
- We'll do a Drive check in a second. Awesome.
- Three.
- Five. Ooh, I'm going to blow it up.
- Eight. - Okay, boom!
- [Ally] Nine. - Blow up that Tech.
- And then let me get that d8.
- So you just need a two.
- Two! - Woo, baby!
Here we go, here we go!
So, you take off.
You feel yourself suddenly flying. Air, your hair going-
- See ya, baby.
- Boom! Up through the top of the Piedmont Hollingwood.
And you land, bam! Again, one leg all the way out.
Butt cheek visible to you from-
(bottle clanging) - Help me!
- It's just a loud water bottle. I'm so sorry.
- It's okay. Nothing happened. - Nothing happened!
- You land on the surface of the tank.
Go ahead and give me that Drive check
to head to the airport. - Cool.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Oh, bosh.
Six! Blowin' up! - Blow it up, baby! Boom!
- Three.
- [Brennan] All right, that is a nine. Moonrider-
- Can I make a Sneak check to sneak into the hull?
- Yes, give me a Sneak check.
You're opening the thing from on top.
This is going to be another difficulty eight Sneak roll.
- Two. - Okay.
Go ahead and take a Turbo Token.
Go ahead and give me a Drive check for Usha.
Go ahead and take your Turbo Token for that failed roll.
It's just, you can't get the latch open on top of the tank,
but you're maintaining your grip on it.
- Totally. - Six.
- So that is a success.
The Piedmont Hollingwood whips out in front of Moonrider,
so now it's Greg Stocks's car
and then it's Vic Ethanol's car leading in front.
You're side by side with Moonrider
with the tank now in 4th position behind you.
- Okay.
- Can we say I crank a right off the thing,
that's where the airport is? - Yes.
- Off the main drag or whatever?
- Do you guys continue
following Dang as he heads for the airport?
- The tank is still attached to the back of my car, right?
- Yes, it is. - So my idea was,
if I swerved heavily to one side, can I jostle it?
- Hell yes.
- And let me ask you, what is to the left of me?
Is that the ocean? Because we're at Long Beach?
- You can get near the water.
- I would like to throw the tank into the ocean.
- Hell yes. Let's do it.
- You were asking what I'm doing.
Now that my car is here, I'm jumping onto the tank as well.
- Give me a Stunts seven. - Okay, let's go.
- [Brennan] A little bit easier.
because you got a full half of-
- Blow it up! Blow it up! - Oh my god!
What's that? What die are you blowing up?
- D6. - Okay, d6.
- So you got it. - Got it automatically,
but let's go ahead and roll that d8.
- Blow up again.
- Eight! - Oh my god, baby!
Double blow up! - Oh wow! Let's go!
- Boongo! - Boongo, baby.
- Let's go, let's go, let's go! Where's that 10?
- Borrow my 10. - All right, let's do it.
Three, okay. - Okay, that's 17.
Jennifer, as you loosen the hatch, you hear a leap,
and Vic, you land double feet and kick the fucking cap
off the tank. - Fuck yeah.
- Let's get in there! - Let's go!
- And Jack, in the body of the tank,
as Damian looms over you, you hear boom, boom,
and see Jennifer Drips and Vic Ethanol
land in the body of the tank with you.
- Don't come in! I got it!
I got it! - [Jacob] Impeccable.
- Great, okay. Okay.
- Okay, we'll wait right here, I guess.
- My leg, my hand...
I'm like, don't come in!
- Incredible.
Usha, go ahead and give me this Drive check
to try to swerve the tank off of you.
You now have three of your allies in there with Damian Bane,
but let's see this Drive check, how well you can do.
- You would have seen that.
You could just gradually start going a different direction.
- Yeah, because now that you're all in there,
my purpose might be a little different.
- Cool. - So I'm like,
what is the most-
- I think, the lay of the land for you real quick,
you've got a pack of about
10 of the other racers behind you.
You've got killer clown dirt bike riders.
There's probably three or four of them left.
Three Apache attack helicopters with the Warrior Kings
that are loaded up with bazookas and stinger missiles
are coming right in on your tail, and in the distance,
you see 300 police helicopters
rolling in on Jack Manhattan's go-ahead,
and you see that one of those police helicopters
suddenly changes and goes into a cloaking device,
and begins to fire on the other police helicopters
for unrelated reasons. - Okay. Can I try to do-
- It's the Avengers!
- Can I try to throw an oil slick plus match combination
to make a wall of fire after the tank goes through?
So all my friends plus our evil guy go through,
but everyone else is trapped behind a wall of fire.
- Hell yeah, go ahead, this is going to be,
I'm going to say it, this is Drive 12.
This is an insane stunt in this moment.
What are you rolling? You got a d-what?
- I have an eight. - Eight, okay.
- Yeah! Blow up! - Just be perfect.
- Would you say we're in the same scene?
- Yeah? Yeah. - We're connected.
- We're literally connected.
- If anyone, you know, needs to help me.
Okay, that was cocked, right? No, it hit me?
- Yeah, sure. - No, we allowed a tummy roll.
- Okay, tummy is one. - Tummy tuck.
- Okay. - On the tummy tuck.
- [Brennan] Okay, that's a failure by more than five.
Take a Turbo Token. - Thank you.
- I am going to need a Tough check.
I'll roll this in the Box of Doom.
- Light us all on fire.
- [Brennan] That is only a five-
- Okay. - ...on the d20.
I'm going to need a DC five Tough check
from Russell, Wendell, and Paula.
- A what? - DC five Tough.
- I got a six. - Six.
- I got that minus five.
- You got a one. - Yeah.
- Okay. - I also got a six.
- Six, you both succeed. Jennifer...
Oh, wait. - Not by more than five.
- [Brennan] Not by more than five, that's true.
- But still a fail. - Okay, so you swerve.
The chain goes taut as the Moonrider
(mimics wheels screeching) shrieks around a corner,
going a slightly different direction
from where Dang is headed to, and the tank
whips into a Shell gas station.
- No! - And fucking boom!
- Oh my god.
- Fire everywhere.
- But we're in a tank! - Shakes the whole city.
- Yes, Damian Bane, all three of you-
- Bad Bunny was performing on top of that-
- Of that Shell gas station? - ...gas station.
- So Bad Bunny falls into the tank.
- Is this a news item?
- No, Bad Bunny is flung by the explosion
into the back passenger seat
of the half of the car J-Kwon is in.
They are now-
- Stop!
- I'll yes-and anything!
- They are going to the studio together.
- And they decide to collaborate right then and there.
- They're gonna collaborate! - They're gonna collaborate.
- J-Kwon's first single in 18 years.
- Kingskin, we come back to you in this moment.
- Okay. - So you're pulling up.
Right up above you, you see the three Apaches
coming in after your friends.
Underneath you, you're closing in,
you're going hundreds of miles an hour,
and up ahead of you, you see Doug Meat
right on the heels of the guy with the duffel bag
who's Heelying down the road.
You see that the guy with the duffel bag
taps something on the strap of his duffel bag,
and rockets blast out of the back of his Heelys,
and he fucking warp-speeds out of there, shooting up ahead.
The fleet of police helicopters is coming.
You see that there is fire between the police helicopters.
One of the cops leaps out, is silhouetted against the moon,
as one of the Warrior Kings leaps out of an Apache
and they hang in the air,
fighting each other bare-handed with kicks and fists.
You have to do something. What do you do?
- I'm just taking it all in.
- Incredible. - You have to do something!
- You have to do something. What is it that you do?
- Okay, so the man with the duffel bag
is rocketing ahead of my car? - Ahead, so fast.
Doug is right in front of you.
The guy with the Heelys is up ahead.
You see the tank still being dragged behind Moonrider.
It looks like Vic's car is sort of grinding and sparking,
without a driver, next to the tank,
and it looks like Dang's vehicle
has whipped out way into the lead at this point.
There is an exploded Shell gas station.
J-Kwon and Bad Bunny are nowhere to be seen.
- Good. They're safe somewhere.
- [Rekha] I hope they make it.
- I want to try to scoop up Doug
and intercept the rocketing man.
- To scoop Doug is a difficulty eight Drive check. Go ahead.
- Drive check. Here we go.
Seven. Let's make it explode. - Boom, baby! Pow!
- Bosh. - All right.
- How badly do you- - And then we roll this.
- [Brennan] Hell yeah.
- That's a one, so it's a nine.
- Hell yes, then give me a Drive check
to try to catch up with The Skulker on the Heelys.
That is going to be a difficulty of...
I'm going to say difficulty 10.
- With Doug in the car, I put a hand on his shoulder.
I say, Doug, I didn't mean what I said earlier.
You talk as much as you want.
- Okay. Right now?
- Yeah, go for it.
I'm gonna try to do something,
but you say whatever you want.
- Hell yes.
- It's a three.
- Okay, take a Turbo Token. - Okay.
- So Heelys takes off, but you actually,
I'm going to say you hit a button,
bust open one of the doors,
these suicide doors in this car fling open,
and you pull into a flip of the car
so that you Buster Keaton barn door on top of Doug Meat.
So you, boom, and he's suddenly in the car as it flips again
and he's across the back seat of the vehicle
as you get back on your wheels and skid out after him.
- He goes, "Ah! Hey!
Thank you so much for the opportunity to speak my mind.
I don't think of them as criticisms.
I think of them as ways that the organization
can improve and achieve its objectives."
- Absolutely.
- Okay. All right. - Whatever!
- Doug begins to launch into a really well thought out,
three point plan for the criminal organization
that has to do mostly with communication,
a little bit with clear hierarchies.
- (whispered) Wow. Wow.
- And then the last is just about how people get paid,
and he just is like, "There are apps that encrypt
that I think we could electronically pay people
even with dirty money."
And you see that you take off in the car.
Kingskin, the helicopters up above you
you see are priming missiles to launch at your friends.
You have one last ability to interact here
as you see them readying to attack.
- Is there anything in the car
that could possibly intercept or-
- Give me a Tech check. Difficulty five finds a handgun.
Difficulty seven finds an automatic weapon.
And then a difficulty 10 Tech check
would give you, like, an explosive.
- Four! - Blows up! Blows up!
All right, so now you're rolling a d6.
A three will get you all the way to an automatic weapon,
and then if you roll a six,
that gets you all the way to explosives.
- Five. - Five!
- Woo! - Let's explode.
- Blow it up! - Yeah!
- Boom! - They got a 10.
- Hell yeah, rolling a d8.
- You're at proper explosives, bloke.
- Eight! - Oh my god!
Triple fucking explosion! - Don't we get something?
- Oh, that was if- - There's certain abilities-
- We didn't buy that, Rekha. What are you talking about?
- Okay, so you just rolled an eight.
Now you're rolling a d10. - D10.
Five. - Okay,
so that's 4 and 6 is 10,
plus 8 is 18, plus 5 is 23.
- What's in this car? - Wow!
- Blow up a helicopter. - You hit a button.
The passenger seat next to you,
a automatic zipper unwinds and you see there is
a quiver of shoulder-mounted stinger missiles in there.
It is now a difficulty five Weapons check
to knock one of these helicopters out of the sky.
- And that's an explosive? - That is an explosive.
- Okay, I have Demolitions.
You may lower the difficulty of a Tech check by three
if explosives are involved,
but you said it was a Weapons check?
- It's a Weapons check.
It's now a difficulty two Weapons check.
- Okay.
And I have one...
Okay, great.
Three. - Nice!
(Brennan mimics missile whizzing)
(explosion booming)
- Apache helicopter roaring out of the sky,
four of the Warrior Kings dead,
four of the deadliest commandos-
- Oh, four are dead! - You've killed four
of the world's deadliest commandos, Kingskin.
- Yay! - Yay! You did it!
- Liv in Kingskin's body is like, yay!
- Doug Meat's like, "Yay!" Cool.
We cut back to the tank, baby.
Damian Bane squares up with all of you.
"All right, time for a little bit of fisticuffs."
- The juice is in the drawer!
- If you want to drink the juice,
first you have to pay the man.
- [Ify] Don't worry about this.
I'm gonna do to you what I've been wanting to do
to Marcus, Ricky, and Dejon for a long time.
And he cracks his knuckles as Vic Ethanol.
- You want to beat your brothers?
- Yeah, they're assholes.
(suspenseful music)
That was a five.
- All right, five on a Brawl check. He's going to roll.
And he succeeds on Tough.
You see he, bam, catches a fist in one hand.
He says, "What? What are you trying to do to me?
Are you trying to reconcile
so that you finally feel understood by your family?"
- Yes.
- If he's distracted, can I try and go for the drawer again?
- Yeah, absolutely. Go for the drawer.
This is going to be, with him not right on top of you,
it's just a difficulty six Tech check.
- Not Sneak? - I'd let it be Sneak.
You can do Sneak here. - Okay, then minus three.
- (gasps) Okay, so difficulty three.
- Three! - Three!
(Izzy gasps)
- Oh my god! Immediate?
- All right, so you suck down the whole bottle.
You reduce all difficulties by five.
- Sick!
- So, you glug it down and feel...
You feel like with the merest tensing
of your ankles, that by pushing
up on your heels, onto the balls of your feet-
- Jumping straight up without-
- You could jump 20 feet straight up
without bending your knees.
- Can I try and throw it to them, too?
- Well, I think you down it. You slug it back.
- There's only one?
- You only see one bottle in there.
- Oh.
- So Paula, you fucking slam it.
- Cool! - You slam it.
- Slam it! - You slam it down.
I'm going to say, Jennifer,
what are you doing here in this moment?
- I'd like to do a Sneak check to try to find
what his talisman or whatever we're using
that binds us to the world is.
You know, like my badge or whatever.
- Yeah. - Can I try to find that?
- Give me, this is a Wits eight.
- Okay.
Fuck. Five. - Take a Turbo Token.
Not immediately apparent. Not immediately apparent to you.
- I mean, that makes sense. It was a hard-
- Is there any other attack you want to do in this moment?
- Yeah, I guess I'm going to just do
a straight-up Brawl check for a Neck Snapper on him.
- Okay, go for it. I'll let you know the difficulty.
He rolls a Tough. Rolls a 17 on Tough.
- Seven. I blow it up. - Blow it up!
- Hell yeah. - Fight the good fight.
- That's a one.
- All right, take a Turbo Token. You go to neck snap.
You get arms on either side of his head
as he's holding a fist here.
He's going to make attacks on both of you.
Go ahead and give me Tough checks.
- All right, let's go for it.
That's a seven for me. - Six for me.
- He has that super serum in him,
so he's lowering everything by five right now,
so that's a one and a two.
He rolls a four, so Vic, he lands a punch into you,
but it doesn't beat your roll by five, so there's not a...
You don't take an injury level there.
- Sick.
- Jennifer, he does give you another injury level
as he hurls you, bam, up into the roof with another fist,
but he's strong enough that he's got both of you here.
But Vic, you are uninjured by this attack from him.
- Can I shoot him in the ass?
- Hell yeah. You want to make a Weapons check?
- Yeah. - Give me a Weapons check.
- And he still is not wielding a gun?
- Still is not wielding a gun. He's just beating you guys.
- If I just put a gun in his pocket-
- Because you and he have the same serum,
we're just going to roll straight,
so he's no longer using his minus five.
When you're rolling against him,
you're rolling straight as well, so he's going to roll
a Tough check to resist this Weapons attack.
- Even though he's not even facing me?
- I'm going to do Box of Doom right now.
He got a 14, but that's straight.
He doesn't minus anything from you.
Go ahead. What are you rolling for Weapons right now?
- D10. - D10. Okay.
Going to need to blow up. - Blow it up!
- You want to roll it right in here?
- [Ify] Blow it up.
(stressful action music)
- That's a fucking 10. That's a fucking 10, baby!
You are at a d12. He got a 14.
So you're rolling a d12,
and now all you need is a four on this die.
If you- - I have two tokens,
so I need a three. - Now hold on, wait.
If you roll a four, that beats his roll,
which means he gets shot.
If you can get a 19, so you would need-
- Beat it by seven, right?
- Yeah, if you get an eight and spend your tokens,
you can get there.
A nine incapacitates him right now.
(driving rock music)
So close. That is a seven. However-
- We're in the scene. - You're in the scene.
- Yeah, so I'll put one up. - I'll put one up.
- Another one.
- Familia! - La Familia, baby!
So, Paula, you whip around, supersoldier serum.
You've got Adrenanoxinil Plutonium Sulfate
flooding through your veins.
You zero in. Everything has been waiting for this moment.
Finally, you are going to take action.
Whip around, bam! Bullet.
You see he goes to dodge.
Wendell and Russell, you wrap your legs around one arm,
you pin him by another, and move him right there.
Bullet! (grunts) Blood gushes.
He goes... (screams)
Green veins, blood spraying like a fire hose
out of his stomach. - Wait, not dead!
- He goes... (screaming) (grunting)
Punches his wound closed, and his body falls unconscious.
- He punches it closed? - He punches his wound closed.
- And then goes unconscious.
- He uses his last strength to punch closed-
- Punches his wound closed.
- Someone just, like, fell over.
- And goes unconscious.
- In that moment, I go, wait a second.
Who's driving the tank? (all screaming cartoonishly)
- I am!
- 'Tis I! - Grandma!
- Hell yes.
Speaking of, we move from the tank to Dang and Usha
as one helicopter goes streaming out of the sky.
The other two are each going to take missiles
to each of your vehicles,
so Moonrider and the Piedmont Hollingwood.
First, I'm going to give you the roll
that you need a Drive to avoid.
You're trying to avoid a 13,
and you are trying to avoid a nine.
If you fail by five or more,
your vehicle becomes incapacitated.
- Do I get a minus three because of my Transporter?
- Yes, you're avoiding pursuers, so that's now a 10.
- Eight. - Blow up!
- But I got two guys. - Oh, that's a blow up!
- That's a blow up! - That blows up.
Is that an eight on a d8? - Yes!
- [Brennan] So you just roll... (laughs)
- Are you angry or are you happy?
- Mommy's happy.
- We're rolling over here. - Yeah, I have to do a nine.
I have a d8. I don't think I'm going to make it.
- [Brennan] Okay.
- Bummer.
Eight! - Blow up!
You both rolled eights on your fucking Drive!
Here we go, baby! It's "Never Stop Blowing Up!"
- [Izzy] Brennan! (players screaming "Ten!")
- What the fuck!
- Three!
- Okay, yeah, three is good too!
So both of you, a giant chain link fence
saying, "Long Beach Airport.
Don't even freaking think about coming in here!"
Laguna!
Both of you see it.
As the Apaches come in, you know their boss is in the tank.
Both of you begin to helix perfectly,
your European sports car
and your lunar panel high-tech ride.
- Can I roll my d12? - Roll your d12. Here we go.
- 10. - Okay. Jesus!
You absolutely peel off.
- Wait a minute! - What's that?
- I have two guys.
- Do you want to spend your two guys?
- You know it, baby. I blow the hell up.
- That's another fucking blow up, baby.
Go ahead and roll a d20.
- Seven. - Okay.
- How cool? Think about it.
- That is still a 29.
That is a 29. - [Ally] That's insane.
- Does that mean she's going 5,000 miles per hour?
- What happens is this. You guys hit the chain.
You weave the tank behind you
so they can't get a clear shot.
One stinger missile explodes over a row of houses.
People go, "Yay! Fireworks!"
Another one hits a pool.
You guys see, fucking, a bunch of sick-ass robots
are destroyed, blam, dead.
There's robots over there! They're dead now!
And you see that the cars peel out
onto the runway of the Long Beach Airport.
I'm going to need someone to call odds or evens
as you hit a straightaway.
With that, you are going 4,000 miles per hour.
- Is the tank still connected by the chain?
- Yes, it is. - Okay, then seeing this,
I'm like, this is my race to win!
And I sit in the tank seat.
You might want to hold on, Jessica Drips.
- Incredible. - Jennifer.
- Jessica? - [Brennan] Incredible.
- I'm Jessica now. - Jeff Manhattan.
Jessica Drips. - Jessica and Jeff.
- You all hit the tarmac. - Fucking idiot!
- Someone's gotta call odds or evens for me.
- Odds.
- [Brennan] Nine. That is odds.
- Knew the number. - Great job.
- As you all hit, having gotten that odds,
there is a plane landing on the tarmac.
Is it coming from behind you,
or is it coming right towards you
as you speed down the tarmac?
On that nine, I'll let you decide
where it's coming from. - Behind.
- Behind, so you guys are just keeping abreast.
This airplane is coming in for a landing.
The airplane is a Harrier fighter jet,
and it's got somebody on the wing.
- Orphans!
- Oh my god, they're at their first pilot lesson,
and they're like, I'm doing it!
- This is the annual Orphan Row pilot-
- A fighter pilot with a full oxygen mask is like,
"Okay, kids, hope you had a good time
on your first fighter jet outing.
Let's get you back to the orphanages."
- Where the robots are.
- You see a guy on the wing going,
"I'll adopt them! I'll adopt them all!"
- For reunification purposes!
- Yeah. Hell yeah, hell yeah.
So first of all,
we had our avoiding a bad thing checks here.
- Yeah. - But Greg and Usha,
as you're entering the airport,
is there anything you want to do?
- You tell me if this is too much.
I drive by a hangar. - Okay.
- There's an emblem. - Yeah.
- It's two hands like this with a rosary around its wrist.
I want to peel in and park on a ramp.
- Yeah. - And then a jet,
the casing of the bottom of a jet
comes up and fits with my car.
- Perfect. Absolutely perfect.
I'm going to call this, let's just do a Tech five.
- Cool. - Five?
- Five. Santo Patron.
- Fuck, I'm just going to do- - Yeah, you guys.
- Two. - Two. You go in.
The wings come up around, and you see as they come up,
it says, "Warning, warning. Nuclear malfunction."
And you see... (mimics electricity buzzing)
And a strange symbol of a shadowy falcon
appears on the screen of the car, and you take off.
You only have steering. You cannot hit the brakes.
- Okay. - As this happens, Usha-
- I'm going 4,000 right now?
- You're going 4,000 right now.
- Can I try to hit five? - Hell yeah, and actually,
you can do something else for free.
The last roll we're going to do here
with these two Apaches coming after you,
with a bunch of other killer clown motorcycle,
other drag racers, cop, police,
martial art in front of the moon,
J-Kwon, Bad Bunny, in half a car,
evil virus in the jet car.
This is what's happening.
Is there anything you want to do before we roll
the final Drive check of the race?
- I'll tell you what came to my head.
Something that could make me slip and slide faster
to enhance my thing, and the first thing I thought of,
you'll think it's stupid,
is that I've established that I'm an oily guy.
- Yeah.
- Can I, like, put my shirt out?
- I think that this is such a good idea,
but I also think that there's a big chain
connecting you to a tank. - So what?
- And you might go faster if you cut that.
- You don't think I should try to take my oily shirt off?
- You think maybe trying to use your own human oils
to make the car go- - Probably, now-
- What do you want? What do you want?
- I'll say this. - This is a blue skies period,
and I think that that's really fucking-
- No, no, this is great. There's two factors at work here.
So we gotta think, what's slowing down the car the most?
Is it the tank, or is it the absence of human skin oils
in the, presumably, engine?
- This is huge to think about,
and I'd like a couple minutes to figure out-
- Yeah, can we cut for-
- I forgot I was attached to the tank!
But- - [Brennan] Yeah?
Can I do both? - Yes!
- And then we'll never know which one it was.
- You take off your shirt, and what do you do with it?
- So, I'm trying to do two things.
I'm trying to get this tank off of me, okay?
- And?
- Take this shirt off of me.
- Put it in the engine?
- And just to be clear, this is a hotel shirt, right?
(Ally cackling)
- This is the Deluxe Royale.
- It was just put on hours ago!
- It's collected as much oil
as has been in the intervening 90 minutes.
- Okay. - Oh my god.
- Keep in mind, this guy's extra oily.
- You've said that. You've established that.
- My hands are really tied here, so let's go.
- Okay, okay, so while trying to jostle
this tank off of the back, you know,
like you'd try to shake a bug off of you or whatever,
this oily guy's gotta have something good going for him!
She opens the sun roof and tries to make the car
drive over the oily shirt. - Great. Cool, great.
- Sliding on a banana peel.
- Can I walkie-talkie Kosciusko
and say shoot the other helicopters?
- Goddammit, Manhattan.
Yeah.
- Oh wow! - Let's do it.
- Am I doing one Drive roll?
Am I doing two Drive? What am I doing?
- Oil roll and a Drive roll.
- Okay, so yeah, and then Wendell-
- I was going to say, for her trying to shake that off,
I'm probably going to pull that off,
because I'm about to blast off.
- See, that's also what I was thinking.
- That's also what you were thinking?
That was one of the thoughts-
- So Wendell hits a button. No roll necessary.
Grappling hook is removed.
- Okay, so it looks like it was easy
and the oil thing could've happened.
- So let's roll here. Let's roll here.
And we're not going to roll any of those other rolls.
We're going to actually roll a d100,
and it's a difficulty of 100.
- No, it's not! - Yes.
- Because now my car is lighter,
and I have oil to lubricate the drive.
- I don't think we can say, "No, it's not."
I know it's my first time. Please, fill me in.
I don't think you can say that, right?
I can't say that you're wrong! Am I allowed to say that?
You're wrong!
- A d100? No! - You can. You can.
- That doesn't make sense!
- Yeah, because what's going to happen...
Yeah, no, absolutely, okay. So let's roll, because-
- You're going to drive over a shirt.
- Yeah. - [Jacob] Just catching up.
- It is like watching a baby walk over a banana peel.
- Famously makes those babies fucking take off!
- Yes!
- I don't know how to feel about that confidence of,
baby walking over banana peel, like this is a-
- Never seen it. - I'm sorry!
Is this La Familia, or is this Los Enemigos?
- You're fucking right, you're right. You're wrong!
- It's me, I'm the bad guy! Great, great.
- And we have 95 tokens to give to her when she rolls a 5.
- Great, so you throw the shirt.
On a 100 of a d100,
you will achieve light speed.
You will have discovered light speed travel.
If you fail the check by five or more, you will wipe out.
- Okay.
- [Alex] Interesting. And what's a wipe out?
- Wipe out just because she threw a shirt?
- Yeah. - It's so greasy.
- We'll describe it. I'll make it make sense.
Go ahead and roll, and let's do Box of Doom, for sure.
- Oh, for sure. - We'll do Box of Doom.
- You don't want me to have this.
- Wait, so we cut the tank off-
- There's simply no more clarity that we can add
before this resolves.
- You got this, Rekha. I believe in you.
- No, no, no. You two, you and you-
- Are we being punished? - You and you!
- Are we being punished? - You and you,
when the number comes out and you commit to the action,
we roll the dice, and we can clarify
after whatever happens happens.
- Right, it's going to be 100. I can feel it.
- Here we go. - I'm being punished.
- So close. - It was honestly close.
It's a 71. - That's not that close.
- Alex! Alex!
- Alex, is this La Familia, or is this Los Enemigos?
- You have to think about that!
- [Brennan] Great, cool, so-
- That's something you have to think about.
- Awesome, so- - I'm sorry.
This is La Familia. That's pretty close.
- So here's what happens. Okay, great, so this is so good.
- This was just for the oily shirt.
You still have a d20 in Drive. You can win.
- You can still win. So you rip that oily shirt off.
Deluxe Royale. Sunroof comes down.
You pop a hand out.
Your wrist snaps 'cause you're going 4,000 miles an hour.
The shirt is unraveled.
A fucking storm of threads and skin oil
fucking vanishes and dissolves in the air.
- You were going to throw it in front of the car
at 4,000 miles per hour!
- [Brennan] Okay?
Can I clarify anything for anyone?
- Throwing a shirt in a car that is not moving,
it's still hard to get it in front-
- Am I missing a hand now? - Throw a T-shirt!
Throw a T-shirt in front of your car doing 55!
- Impossible! - Okay, okay!
Oh, where was all this impossible stuff before?
- I'm sorry! It's La Familia, I'm sorry!
- Sorry, am I missing a hand now?
- Your wrist is broken,
and in fact, you failed by more than five.
Take an injury level.
- Oh, I take an injury level!
Grandma takes an injury level!
- Cool, so we have Kingskin. - Yeah.
- I want to make a grounded, normal move.
- Yeah, great.
- Nothing crazy. - Great.
- I'd like to take my jet to space.
- Great. You'd like to what?
- You said it's like, there's a nuclear code or something?
- Yeah, yeah yeah yeah.
- I would like to fly straight up to space.
- Okay. Incredible.
- You're going to see Rashab? - Aw!
- To me, it felt like there was-
- Yes. - Yes!
There's no way to stop it. - Yeah, cool.
- What if I was like, "No, that's stupid."
- I'm going straight up to space,
and maybe we'll see a friend.
- Throw a shirt in front of the jet.
- So you're looking at the tarmac.
You got a plane coming behind you.
Everything I've already said, it's actually,
I want you to know that I feel like
I have a raging fever right now.
I feel like I have the worst flu of my life.
- That's Enemigo talk.
- Why did you ask Rekha to do this season,
if not for exactly this? - [Brennan] No, no!
- And that's not even my dumb question!
- It's perfect, it just needed to be resolved,
and now it's resolved, and we know.
- If she had hit within five- - Yeah?
- Could I have had it?
- What would have happened? - 95.
- You would not have broken your wrist.
- Okay. - Great. Checks out.
- Checks out. Now you, nose up, heading to outer space.
With the tank, grappling hook revolves.
You're headed for the end of the tarmac.
- Yes, and I'm just blasting- - Blasting it.
- Hitting all the buttons to make it go faster.
- Liv, you are behind the pack.
There's the whole drag thing, dirt bikes.
You got the Apaches still.
Are you going to interface with those enemies,
or are you going to try to pull ahead
and win the race as well?
- I think I'm just going to try
to take out as many enemies as I can.
- Okay, taking out as many enemies as possible.
So one, two. Usha, you're pulling ahead.
Jennifer and Jack, inside the tank,
are you doing anything here with the race?
You have Damian.
There's blood all over the inside of the tank.
Is there anything that you're doing in this moment
before we resolve the end of the race?
- How fast are we going?
- You're going about 4,000 miles per hour,
and actually, what you see in this moment
is the open hatch that Vic Ethanol kicked off.
You see a flash of fire.
Bam, landing in the middle,
the man from the rooftop with the duffel bag.
- Ooh! - It's The Skulker.
- What? - His Heelys move back in.
He grabs you and is going to make a Brawl check,
opposed by your Sneak or Stunts.
He rolls a 10, but you minus 5 from that,
so you just need to beat a five,
either on a Stunts check or a Sneak check.
- What do you have in those? - Six or four.
- I have a 12 in Sneak. You can use mine.
- Okay. - Hell yeah.
- La Familia! - La Familia. Roll a d12.
You're trying to beat a five.
- We're getting back to La Familia.
- Yeah, it took some time, but-
- 11. - 11! So, you guys-
- I don't know if you can blow me up.
- [Izzy] Can I blow up on-
- No, you can't blow up on a friend's-
- Damn. - Actually, wait a minute.
(Rekha gasps) - Oh?
- You do not have to do this.
- I'll say because it's already kind of hard
to blow up on larger die types,
I will say that you are not allowed to skip steps,
but you can graduate whatever your own die type is.
- Oh, that's cool. - That's nice.
- Does that make sense? - Can I blow myself up?
- So you can blow yourself up.
You go from an 11 to a 12,
but what was your Sneak at before?
- Four.
- Now it's a six. - Now it's a six.
- Now your Sneak's at a six, cool. That just feels fair.
- That's La Familia. - Cool. That's La Familia.
So boom, you guys grab this dude, bam, to the ground,
as he was going for your pocket,
and it's the pocket that the evidence baggie went in.
- Was in. - That you don't have anymore,
but it looks like this guy came back
for the evidence baggie. - Ooh!
- He hits the ground, boom.
Russell and Paula, you've got The Skulker.
You've got the guy with the rocket Heelys.
We now are going to settle the Weapons check out here.
Two more Apaches.
One of the Apaches is aiming for what looks like
the nuke that's about to get away from everybody.
The other one is aiming for the plane full of orphans, okay?
- No!
- Are you going for the nuke,
or are you going for the plane full of orphans?
- I don't have confidence that I could save either,
so maybe I'll try to save- - So they both are dead.
- [Brennan] Great, so you're going-
- I wash my hands. I'm innocent.
- I try my best to get it to somehow angle
to go through the one going towards the orphans first,
and then curve.
- Okay, I'm going to say it's an eight,
you're going to curve a missile.
- Or you could shoot one in a way that it-
- Cool.
- ...crashes into the other one.
- Difficulty eight gets you the one going for the orphans.
If you beat it by five, you get both.
- Yeah, and I have a d4 in Weapons, so here we go.
- [Ify] You got it.
- Well, I figure Dang still has agency.
- Whoa! - We blow up, baby! Boom!
- Come on, orphans!
- Okay, you're rolling a d6,
so if you just get a three, you save the orphans.
- Okay, and then when happens if I don't?
- Big roll. - Uh-oh.
Four! - Four, baby!
Okay, d6 in Weapons.
So the other Apache, going for the orphans,
you stinger missile (mimics explosion)
blow that out of the sky.
Four more supersoldiers dead, baby.
- Fuck yeah!
- 8 out of 13 of the Warrior Kings have been destroyed
here on the tarmac of the Long Beach Airport.
You take them out. Last one's coming for you.
They're going to roll a Weapons check.
That's only a five on a d20.
Go ahead and give me a DC five Drive to avoid it.
- Ooh, four. - Four.
You do not fail it by five,
so your vehicle's not taken out of commission.
I will say you can either take an injury level
or have the difficulty raised of your next Drive check.
- I'll take a superficial-
- Cool. - [Ally] Nice.
- You come out through the flame partially singed,
your immaculate bow tie just a little bit
off of your tuxedo. - Dang.
- We're going to resolve the race.
Vic Ethanol, Greg Stocks, G13.
These are three straight Drive checks, and I will say this.
I'm going to say it's a difficulty eight Drive check
for you to get the nuke out and away from everybody.
- Okay, everyone. Keep your arms in.
We're going 4,000 miles per hour, so it'd be really silly
to stick your arms out of the vehicle,
'cause it would definitely hurt you.
- Excuse me? - Huh?
- We're not attached.
- Great, everybody roll your Drive check
for this final leg of the race.
- Ooh! That's a nine for me.
- Is a one or a zero a blow up on-
- 16! - Wait, hold on, hold on.
- That's a 10. - Oh, that's a 10!
You blew up! Oh my god, okay, that's a 10.
Go ahead and roll your d12 Drive check.
- Yes, yes. Can you help me out?
- Am I allowed?
Oh yeah, I'm in there with you? Hell yeah.
- Nine. - That is a 19 Drive.
- 16. - I blew Ify up.
- Woo! - Okay, d12, here we go.
- Oh! One. - One, okay. Copy that.
So what do we got? We had 11, this is-
- 16.
- 16, and Greg Stocks, you got a 19.
So all of you take off. Vic, you are in the tank.
Usha, you are in Moonrider.
And Dang, you peel up and see the stars.
"Five, four, three-" - [Jacob] I touch the window.
I'm sorry they don't believe, buddy.
And I hit the eject.
(ejector seat rocketing into space)
- [Brennan] You are at the highest point of atmosphere
where the cold of space would not instantly kill you,
and as you head going straight up,
both of you skid and just lightly crash, bam,
into the Walmart just through the chain link fence
at the edge of the Long Beach Airport.
(mimics wheels screeching) Boom, boom.
But in that split second, you see that there's
a little leather jacket wearing dude with a speed camera
up on an airplane hangar clocking,
as you're all nose to nose,
and as you pull up, this extra turbo,
you see (beeping) 5,000 miles per hour!
(players cheering) (Jacob screaming in ecstasy)
You kiss the sky.
The helmet wraps around your neck.
You feel your fingers,
you're getting kind of very minor frostbite in your fingers.
As you begin to fall, you see the curvature
of the Earth underneath you. - Beautiful.
- And you hear in your mind... (alien beeping)
- Dang.
- And that's all for this episode of "Dimension 20."
- [Ally] That's right! That's right!
- [Brennan] Tune in next week
for another thrilling episode of "Never Stop Blowing Up."
- That's right! - A number of cars peel out
and begin firing on airport security
that immediately come and try to shut down this street party
that's sort of broken out on the tarmac.
- Barsimmeon, why did you bring all of us here?
- Because you can't let the video store close down.
- Can't you just buy your own copy
of "Never Stop Blowing Up"?
- You could buy the store, if you want!
- I've got these huge pecs and a big hog!
That's not going on in Lake Elsinore!
- How big? - Nice.
- Kingskin, a man with a notoriously huge hog.
- How big?
- Right, but I haven't seen it yet.
- Really? - What is this movie rated?
- No! - You flip over onto the table
and a bunch of cops open the doors, guns out.
Freeze! Hands over your head!
- Stop!
- A gloved hand in his mouth, gun to his head.
- You think you're not gonna mess this one up, too?
- It's not for learning lessons!
This shit is just rad! Don't examine it!
- You still love your husband, right?
- Oh. Do you, Paula?
- Don't examine it!
- I know I done fucked up.
- I don't know if I want to go back.
(Ally gasps)
- Paula! - I feel that.
- You lost- - Someone took it.
- Oh no.
In any truly great action movie,
do you really go for the plot?
You're here to shoot guns and blow things up
and have a freaking great time.
- That's a big lesson learned. - No!
- Six! - Six! It blows up again!
- Four! - Four!
- Bing, bang, boom.
- Unbelievable. - Usha's killing it.
- One. - Okay.
- I'm so confused!
It doesn't end when the movie ends?
- I'd say the noose is tightening. Trap has been set.
You all better move, and move quick.
- [Ally] No fucking way! - That's crazy!
- What happens if we die? - Oh, you're dead.
- In real life?
- In real life. I've never died.
- Then how do you know? (players gasping)
- [Brennan] They were careless!
(chill synth music)
(chill music continues)