1
00:00:43,917 --> 00:00:46,127
I mean, sure,
watching a head explode is cool.
2
00:00:46,125 --> 00:00:48,245
But the real pros aim for the spine.
3
00:00:48,250 --> 00:00:49,790
That's what holds
everything together, you know.
4
00:00:49,792 --> 00:00:51,292
You shoot out that cord,
5
00:00:51,292 --> 00:00:52,752
it's like cutting
the strings to a marionette.
6
00:00:52,750 --> 00:00:54,630
The body just goes whoomp, limp.
7
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:57,210
Okay, come on.
What are we doing here?
8
00:00:57,208 --> 00:00:58,628
Let's get your furry little head
out of the clouds
9
00:00:58,625 --> 00:01:00,245
and let's go figure out
who hired Kato.
10
00:01:02,708 --> 00:01:04,538
Oh, you don't want to kill anymore?
11
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:05,502
Okay, well, that's fine.
12
00:01:05,500 --> 00:01:07,330
We'll call it a day on this
whole "revenge plot"
13
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:09,293
and open up
a pizzeria, right?
14
00:01:09,292 --> 00:01:10,882
Huh? I'm joking.
‐ Hmm?
15
00:01:10,875 --> 00:01:12,495
Of course we're not going
to stop killing people.
16
00:01:12,500 --> 00:01:13,750
That's the whole point of this‐‐
17
00:01:15,292 --> 00:01:16,382
Um, okay.
18
00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:18,495
So that's it, you're done?
Alright, fine.
19
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:19,830
Well, then give me back
my sunglasses.
20
00:01:19,833 --> 00:01:21,753
Those are cool guy shades
21
00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:23,330
and you are no longer a cool guy,
22
00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:24,293
so you don't get
to wear 'em anymore.
23
00:01:25,375 --> 00:01:27,915
‐ Hey, keep it down up there.
24
00:01:27,917 --> 00:01:29,747
People are trying to pray.
25
00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:31,500
‐ Who's this clown?
26
00:01:31,500 --> 00:01:33,330
Eh, keep walking, Mr. Clean.
27
00:01:34,625 --> 00:01:38,205
‐ Tch, tch, tch, tch.
I do not ask that you apologize.
28
00:01:38,208 --> 00:01:41,128
I ask that you respect the shrine.
29
00:01:41,125 --> 00:01:43,375
Huh?
30
00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:47,420
It is true. I am fluent
in the tongue of monkey.
31
00:01:47,417 --> 00:01:49,037
‐ I wouldn't get too excited.
32
00:01:49,042 --> 00:01:52,382
This guy's wandering around in pajamas
with those weird cue ball eyes.
33
00:01:52,375 --> 00:01:54,205
Clearly he's deranged.
34
00:01:54,208 --> 00:01:56,498
‐ Well, at least I'm not dead.
35
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,920
‐ Hey, asshole, we're kind of
in the middle of something here,
36
00:01:58,917 --> 00:02:00,537
so maybe you should just go on
and play dress up
37
00:02:00,542 --> 00:02:01,542
with your friends over there and‐‐
38
00:02:01,542 --> 00:02:03,882
Holy shit!
Wait, can you hear me?
39
00:02:03,875 --> 00:02:05,375
Dude! What a relief.
40
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,915
I have been jibber‐jabbering
with this dumb‐ass monkey
41
00:02:07,917 --> 00:02:09,247
for two weeks now!
42
00:02:10,958 --> 00:02:11,998
Whoa!
43
00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:23,165
‐ Fate in her infinite wisdom
44
00:02:23,167 --> 00:02:25,627
has tethered you together
for a reason.
45
00:02:25,625 --> 00:02:27,125
‐ Yeah, to take out
the pieces of shit
46
00:02:27,125 --> 00:02:28,915
who killed me
and his monkey crew.
47
00:02:28,917 --> 00:02:31,457
We're supposed to be
on this revenge‐quest together.
48
00:02:31,458 --> 00:02:32,958
But I swear to God,
I feel like I'm over here
49
00:02:32,958 --> 00:02:34,248
doing all the killing by myself.
50
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,210
‐ When I was a young‐‐
51
00:02:37,208 --> 00:02:38,708
‐ What are you talking about?
52
00:02:38,708 --> 00:02:41,458
I watched you mow down
20 badass commandos
53
00:02:41,458 --> 00:02:43,208
like it was a game of Contra.
54
00:02:43,208 --> 00:02:45,248
‐ As I was saying, the sacred texts‐‐
55
00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:47,670
‐ You are cut out for this.
56
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,537
Feelings are for suckers. Okay?
57
00:02:49,542 --> 00:02:51,632
I'm the brain.
You're the muscle.
58
00:02:51,625 --> 00:02:54,205
You need to nut up and do your job‐‐
‐ Listen!
59
00:02:54,792 --> 00:02:56,712
Silence! Both of you.
60
00:02:57,792 --> 00:02:59,792
How can you listen
to each other
61
00:02:59,792 --> 00:03:02,292
when you won't even listen
to yourselves?
62
00:03:02,917 --> 00:03:04,327
You are lost.
63
00:03:05,167 --> 00:03:06,667
But if you allow it,
64
00:03:06,667 --> 00:03:09,537
your journey will guide you
to the truth.
65
00:03:10,958 --> 00:03:14,418
Your path may be rocky,
but in time,
66
00:03:14,417 --> 00:03:17,377
you will come to develop
the calluses necessary
67
00:03:17,375 --> 00:03:19,075
to keep moving forward
68
00:03:19,458 --> 00:03:21,788
and fulfill your destiny.
69
00:03:24,042 --> 00:03:25,752
‐ Mm‐hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's gonna get some blisters.
70
00:03:25,750 --> 00:03:27,000
What about me?
What do I get?
71
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,710
‐ A barren field...
72
00:03:29,375 --> 00:03:31,075
where nothing can grow
73
00:03:31,083 --> 00:03:33,543
until you find the seed of evil
74
00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,833
and rip it from the soil.
75
00:03:36,833 --> 00:03:39,923
Only then shall you ascend.
76
00:03:40,250 --> 00:03:41,290
‐ Are you kidding me?
77
00:03:41,708 --> 00:03:43,538
Of course he was saying
I'm in charge!
78
00:03:43,542 --> 00:03:45,332
I'm the one that needs
to find the evil seed
79
00:03:45,333 --> 00:03:46,793
so I can blow
this pop stand.
80
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,920
No, no, no. How can we be
on separate paths
81
00:03:50,917 --> 00:03:52,077
when we're stuck together?
82
00:03:52,458 --> 00:03:55,378
We're going the same place.
And I'm leading the way.
83
00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:00,830
Man, I've been killing people
for over 20 years.
84
00:04:00,833 --> 00:04:02,293
You've been doing it, what?
For 20 minutes?
85
00:04:03,625 --> 00:04:05,625
So who makes the most sense
to be in charge, huh?
86
00:04:07,250 --> 00:04:08,540
Nope, wrong again.
87
00:04:08,542 --> 00:04:10,792
Not the one with the body.
The one with the brain. That's me.
88
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:14,542
The same brain that wisely told you
to grab Kato's wallet at the funeral.
89
00:04:15,458 --> 00:04:18,378
It's wise because we can use
his driver's license
90
00:04:18,375 --> 00:04:20,245
to get his address.
91
00:04:20,250 --> 00:04:21,710
Ta‐da.
92
00:04:21,708 --> 00:04:23,248
Oh, uh‐‐
93
00:04:23,250 --> 00:04:25,630
Okay, well, you know how you piss
on everything to mark your territory?
94
00:04:25,958 --> 00:04:28,328
An address is like
the human version of that.
95
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:32,170
There's a goddamn
shit storm raining down on me.
96
00:04:32,833 --> 00:04:35,503
Which means it's now
raining down on you.
97
00:04:35,500 --> 00:04:37,920
We've got old ladies
getting sawed in half,
98
00:04:37,917 --> 00:04:39,457
dead politicians,
99
00:04:39,458 --> 00:04:42,538
and a Yakuza gang war
spilling out onto the streets.
100
00:04:43,125 --> 00:04:45,745
‐ We should tell them
about the monkey, Ito‐keiji.
101
00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:47,250
‐ There's nothing to tell.
102
00:04:47,250 --> 00:04:49,460
‐ The fur. The surveillance video.
103
00:04:49,458 --> 00:04:51,168
We have evidence.
‐ Mmm.
104
00:04:51,167 --> 00:04:53,957
‐ We're detectives, and our job is
to follow the evidence
105
00:04:53,958 --> 00:04:55,578
wherever it leads us, right?
106
00:04:55,583 --> 00:04:56,833
‐ Mmm.
107
00:04:56,833 --> 00:04:58,213
‐ Back home, I worked a case
108
00:04:58,208 --> 00:05:01,168
where sweet potatoes kept disappearing
from Mr. Yamaguchi's farm.
109
00:05:02,542 --> 00:05:06,382
Anyway, animals are capable
of committing crimes, too.
110
00:05:06,375 --> 00:05:09,245
I don't understand. Why can't we
just tell them our theory?
111
00:05:09,250 --> 00:05:11,460
‐ You mean our theory
that a monkey in a suit
112
00:05:11,458 --> 00:05:13,668
is running around town
killing gangsters?
113
00:05:13,667 --> 00:05:16,537
‐ Hey, I know you like to blabber
when you're drunk,
114
00:05:16,542 --> 00:05:18,632
but the rest of us are trying
to pay attention.
115
00:05:18,625 --> 00:05:21,245
‐ Turn around
before I grab that ponytail
116
00:05:21,250 --> 00:05:22,750
and shove it up
your partner's ass.
117
00:05:22,750 --> 00:05:25,380
‐ You know what?
You're a dick, Ito.
118
00:05:25,375 --> 00:05:28,995
‐ Now does anyone have any actual leads
that we can follow up on?
119
00:05:31,958 --> 00:05:34,578
‐ Don't. Haruka, please. D‐don't!
120
00:05:34,583 --> 00:05:35,793
‐ Yes, Haruka.
121
00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:38,173
Ah, Jesus.
122
00:05:52,250 --> 00:05:54,790
‐ Who says having a little toddler bod
doesn't have its advantages,
123
00:05:54,792 --> 00:05:56,252
am I right?
124
00:05:56,250 --> 00:05:58,920
Whoa. Looks like the General
was losing his battle with debt.
125
00:06:00,583 --> 00:06:01,923
You know, because of the bills?
126
00:06:02,583 --> 00:06:03,923
Because he owes money?
127
00:06:03,917 --> 00:06:05,997
Honestly, I feel like
these are wasted on you.
128
00:06:08,292 --> 00:06:10,422
‐ No! Monkey, no!
129
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,330
‐ Hey, I'm sure
the kid's better off without him.
130
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:16,503
I never knew my dad
and look at me, I turned out great.
131
00:06:17,167 --> 00:06:18,497
Oh no, it's no‐‐
132
00:06:18,500 --> 00:06:20,750
‐ Oh shit.
We got company.
133
00:06:21,167 --> 00:06:22,627
Hey, Captain Big Heart,
134
00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:24,245
they're coming
this way, alright?
135
00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:25,630
Time to hide. Let's go!
136
00:06:26,875 --> 00:06:28,495
You don't even know
if that's his kid.
137
00:06:28,500 --> 00:06:30,790
Probably just some child soldier
he was prepping for battle.
138
00:06:30,792 --> 00:06:32,832
‐ Why do we always get
the clean‐up jobs?
139
00:06:32,833 --> 00:06:36,083
I didn't join the Yak' to sweep floors
like some stupid‐ass maid.
140
00:06:36,083 --> 00:06:37,833
‐ Would you quit with the job‐shaming?
141
00:06:37,833 --> 00:06:39,963
My aunt was a maid.
She worked really hard.
142
00:06:39,958 --> 00:06:41,958
‐ We get it.
You're the conflicted killer.
143
00:06:41,958 --> 00:06:43,538
Super original.
But seriously,
144
00:06:43,542 --> 00:06:45,002
save it for Oprah.
145
00:06:45,875 --> 00:06:48,415
It's easy. Just point and shoot
till the bad guys go bye‐bye.
146
00:06:48,417 --> 00:06:50,207
It just feels like
we're their errand boys. You know,
147
00:06:50,208 --> 00:06:53,578
I spent all morning driving
around trying to find a stupid blowfish‐‐
148
00:06:53,583 --> 00:06:55,633
‐ Hey, shut up.
You hear that?
149
00:06:59,125 --> 00:07:01,665
Probably just a rat.
150
00:07:01,667 --> 00:07:03,747
This place is a shithole!
‐ Right?
151
00:07:04,125 --> 00:07:06,955
The guy doesn't even have
a 4K TV.
152
00:07:06,958 --> 00:07:09,628
Ho ho ho ho, look at this!
153
00:07:09,625 --> 00:07:12,285
‐ Hey, put that back.
We're not here to steal.
154
00:07:12,292 --> 00:07:13,502
We're here to scrub.
155
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,670
No way. Teppei said
if I find something cool, I can have it.
156
00:07:16,667 --> 00:07:18,707
Yeah, well, Teppei is a moron.
157
00:07:18,708 --> 00:07:20,998
And Keppei said don't listen
to anything his brother says.
158
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,960
‐ Keppei and Teppei? Who are they,
the Japanese Hall & Oates?
159
00:07:23,958 --> 00:07:25,708
Who the hell are you?
160
00:07:25,708 --> 00:07:27,708
‐ Look at our uniforms, asshole.
161
00:07:27,708 --> 00:07:28,958
We're military police.
162
00:07:28,958 --> 00:07:30,828
‐ So why don't you put down
the katana
163
00:07:30,833 --> 00:07:33,003
and slither on outta here?
164
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:35,080
‐ Oh, you like snakes?
165
00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:36,583
‐ Oh yeah, show, show!
166
00:07:36,583 --> 00:07:38,043
‐ How you like them rattlers?
167
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:40,328
‐ Put your blouse back on.
168
00:07:40,333 --> 00:07:42,383
We know all about
the General's gambling problem.
169
00:07:42,375 --> 00:07:44,495
And the Yakuza leeches
who feed off of it.
170
00:07:44,500 --> 00:07:47,420
The public is not,
and we're gonna keep it that way.
171
00:07:47,417 --> 00:07:50,747
‐ Oh, oh, oh, I see. Okay,
Kato owed Keppei and Teppei money.
172
00:07:50,750 --> 00:07:52,460
That's probably how they roped him
into killing me.
173
00:07:52,458 --> 00:07:54,628
This is the last time
I'm gonna warn you.
174
00:07:54,625 --> 00:07:56,285
Put down the sword and beat it.
175
00:07:56,292 --> 00:07:58,752
‐ Or what?
176
00:07:58,750 --> 00:08:00,710
‐ Or this, asshole.
177
00:08:00,708 --> 00:08:01,498
Hey, hey, hey!
178
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:03,420
‐ You two!
Down on the ground! Now!
179
00:08:04,083 --> 00:08:05,923
‐ Oh ho ho. Look at this.
This is awesome.
180
00:08:05,917 --> 00:08:07,127
Now drop the sword.
181
00:08:07,125 --> 00:08:09,375
‐ How do you know
this ain't my sword, lady?
182
00:08:09,375 --> 00:08:11,785
Just because I'm Yakuza,
you assume I must be a thief.
183
00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:14,212
‐ Look, kid, the General's sword
doesn't belong
184
00:08:14,208 --> 00:08:15,668
in your sad‐ass bingo hall.
185
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:17,707
‐ Well, too bad,
'cause we're taking it.
186
00:08:17,708 --> 00:08:21,038
This blade is now property
of the Double Dragon Casino.
187
00:08:21,042 --> 00:08:22,212
‐ Okay, here's the 411.
188
00:08:22,208 --> 00:08:24,038
There's a gun pointed
at a scrawny dude
189
00:08:24,042 --> 00:08:25,672
right on the other side
of this door,
190
00:08:25,667 --> 00:08:27,127
and shit's about
to go sideways.
191
00:08:27,125 --> 00:08:29,375
So we need cover.
And by we, I mean you.
192
00:08:29,833 --> 00:08:31,463
Oh! The helmet!
Here! Put it on!
193
00:08:32,083 --> 00:08:33,213
- Put it down!
- Drop the sword.
194
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:34,288
Put it down, lady.
‐ Whoa, whoa, whoa.
195
00:08:34,292 --> 00:08:35,502
Hey, hey, hey,
what are you doing?
196
00:08:37,750 --> 00:08:38,670
‐ Shit!
197
00:08:40,708 --> 00:08:42,038
‐ God damnit!
198
00:08:44,708 --> 00:08:46,378
‐ Whoa. Ha ha!
199
00:08:46,375 --> 00:08:47,495
This is awesome!
200
00:08:52,167 --> 00:08:53,667
‐ Yuski! No!
201
00:08:56,583 --> 00:08:58,423
‐ Shit! You're gonna die!
202
00:08:58,417 --> 00:08:59,497
‐ Asshole!
203
00:09:03,958 --> 00:09:06,748
‐ Okay, I just got shot,
like, 47 times.
204
00:09:06,750 --> 00:09:07,830
Oh, God, how are you?
205
00:09:11,917 --> 00:09:13,457
Oh boy. Look at that.
206
00:09:14,833 --> 00:09:17,173
Oh Lord, looks like
Jackson Pollock was painting
207
00:09:17,167 --> 00:09:18,667
with blood in here,
am I right?
208
00:09:18,667 --> 00:09:20,127
Technically, this is all your fault,
209
00:09:20,125 --> 00:09:21,665
but I'm willing to look
the other way.
210
00:09:21,667 --> 00:09:23,327
Now grab the sword.
That thing's rad.
211
00:09:26,125 --> 00:09:27,955
Fine, but you need
to get your shit together.
212
00:09:27,958 --> 00:09:30,918
'Cause if I were a gambling man,
I'd wager that the Double Dragon Casino
213
00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:32,827
is where we're gonna find
Keppei and Teppei.
214
00:09:32,833 --> 00:09:34,963
Also, I am very much
a gambling man.
215
00:09:36,833 --> 00:09:38,503
What's a casino?
Are you kidding me?
216
00:09:38,500 --> 00:09:39,790
It's like, um,
217
00:09:39,792 --> 00:09:42,712
if the happiest place on Earth had
a baby with the saddest place.
218
00:09:48,167 --> 00:09:50,377
‐ Corruption grows in secret.
219
00:09:50,833 --> 00:09:53,293
It thrives in darkness.
220
00:09:53,292 --> 00:09:57,632
My mentor, Ken Takahara,
made fighting corruption his life's work.
221
00:09:57,625 --> 00:10:01,165
And that's why
it will be the central issue
222
00:10:01,167 --> 00:10:02,127
of my campaign.
223
00:10:02,125 --> 00:10:05,665
‐ And you think one man
can take on this enormous task?
224
00:10:05,667 --> 00:10:09,327
‐ Well, I raised my niece
all by myself,
225
00:10:09,333 --> 00:10:12,213
so I feel like I'm ready
for anything.
226
00:10:13,333 --> 00:10:14,963
‐ Okay, time to go.
227
00:10:14,958 --> 00:10:16,828
‐ Now, if you'll excuse me,
228
00:10:16,833 --> 00:10:19,133
the business of government
is calling.
229
00:10:21,375 --> 00:10:22,625
‐ Let's work on the ad‐libs.
230
00:10:22,625 --> 00:10:24,625
‐ Come on, they loved it.
231
00:10:24,625 --> 00:10:25,785
‐ Speaking of which,
232
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,212
latest Nikkei poll has you
trailing Ozu by five points.
233
00:10:28,208 --> 00:10:30,538
But when asked
who voters trust more,
234
00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,582
you're leading by fifteen.
235
00:10:32,583 --> 00:10:35,173
You little trust‐fund commie.
236
00:10:36,542 --> 00:10:38,542
You lied to me.
237
00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:42,252
You looked me in the eye,
shook my hand,
238
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,130
and stabbed me
in the back.
239
00:10:44,125 --> 00:10:45,325
‐ Hey, hey.
240
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:48,923
None of us could have predicted
that a eulogy could spark‐‐
241
00:10:48,917 --> 00:10:49,957
‐ Cut the shit.
242
00:10:49,958 --> 00:10:53,128
People were grieving.
You took advantage of their emotions.
243
00:10:53,125 --> 00:10:54,535
‐ Oh, give me a break.
244
00:10:54,542 --> 00:10:57,542
You built your entire campaign
on manipulating peoples' emotions.
245
00:10:57,542 --> 00:10:58,832
‐ Alright, sweetie.
246
00:10:59,667 --> 00:11:01,287
See you on the campaign trail.
247
00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:03,747
Oh, Shinji‐san.
248
00:11:03,750 --> 00:11:05,460
That's a nice suit.
249
00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:08,208
You should try it with a vest.
250
00:11:22,875 --> 00:11:25,625
‐ Oh boy. It is like
a goddamn security convention in there.
251
00:11:25,625 --> 00:11:27,415
Which is, by the way, totally your fault.
252
00:11:27,417 --> 00:11:30,627
Maybe next time, try not to start
a gang war your first day in town.
253
00:11:30,625 --> 00:11:32,825
Alright, okay,
254
00:11:32,833 --> 00:11:34,423
let's save the rage
for the targets.
255
00:11:34,417 --> 00:11:36,827
Now, look, I've taken out
a few casino bosses in my day,
256
00:11:36,833 --> 00:11:38,753
and in my experience
they're usually holed up
257
00:11:38,750 --> 00:11:40,750
in some back office
counting their cash.
258
00:11:40,750 --> 00:11:43,380
That's most likely where
we'll find Keppei and Teppei.
259
00:11:43,375 --> 00:11:45,705
Jesus, I can't keep saying
those names.
260
00:11:45,708 --> 00:11:48,128
It's like we're going up against
a couple of Dr. Seuss characters.
261
00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,455
From now on, can we only kill people
with cool names?
262
00:11:51,750 --> 00:11:54,000
Hey, hey, hey. Keep your
furry little chin up, okay?
263
00:11:54,458 --> 00:11:56,998
That's right. We're going
to have to kill some evil shits
264
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,670
that totally deserve to die.
265
00:11:58,667 --> 00:12:00,747
And you're the one
that's gonna do it!
266
00:12:00,750 --> 00:12:02,080
'Cause it's your destiny!
267
00:12:02,083 --> 00:12:03,213
Now shut up and let's go!
268
00:12:08,875 --> 00:12:10,415
Can you crawl any slower?
269
00:12:11,500 --> 00:12:13,040
Yeah, I know it was my idea.
270
00:12:13,042 --> 00:12:15,132
But that's 'cause I figured
my fear of cramped spaces
271
00:12:15,125 --> 00:12:16,495
would have disappeared
after my death.
272
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:17,580
Evidently, I was wrong.
273
00:12:18,417 --> 00:12:20,417
Dude. Go! It's not funny.
274
00:12:20,417 --> 00:12:22,247
I'm, like,
hyperventilating back here.
275
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,420
Now remember,
we are doing this ninja‐style.
276
00:12:25,417 --> 00:12:26,917
Sneak into the office
through the vents.
277
00:12:26,917 --> 00:12:28,827
Snap their necks
nice and quietly, then‐‐
278
00:12:28,833 --> 00:12:29,833
Oh!
279
00:12:30,333 --> 00:12:31,463
Where'd you go?
280
00:12:31,458 --> 00:12:33,458
‐ Here comes a 4K TV!
281
00:12:34,958 --> 00:12:36,038
What was that?
282
00:12:36,042 --> 00:12:39,962
Holy shit.
It's a monkey in a tiny suit.
283
00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:43,627
Huh?
284
00:12:45,083 --> 00:12:47,833
‐ Okay, I think
they may have spotted you.
285
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:50,077
Hey, what is that?
286
00:12:50,500 --> 00:12:52,130
Out of the way.
287
00:12:52,125 --> 00:12:53,495
Come here, you. Hey!
288
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:55,290
Hey!
289
00:12:55,292 --> 00:12:57,172
‐ It's a‐‐ it's a dancing monkey!
290
00:12:58,625 --> 00:13:00,035
Dancing monkey.
291
00:13:01,917 --> 00:13:03,377
‐ No, no, no, no.
292
00:13:03,375 --> 00:13:04,745
Don't go all Pesci on them.
293
00:13:04,750 --> 00:13:06,210
You do that
and you're going to end up
294
00:13:06,208 --> 00:13:07,708
with more holes
than a donut shop.
295
00:13:07,708 --> 00:13:10,288
Now look at me.
Do what I'm doing. Do this!
296
00:13:10,292 --> 00:13:12,082
I know you're probably not in the mood,
but I need you to dance
297
00:13:12,083 --> 00:13:14,003
like nobody's watching
or you're dead.
298
00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:21,205
There you go.
There you go. That's it.
299
00:13:21,208 --> 00:13:23,328
There. Yeah.
Now get your hips going.
300
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:24,793
There.
He's dancing!
301
00:13:24,792 --> 00:13:26,252
Oh my god,
302
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:27,630
this is crazy!
303
00:13:28,292 --> 00:13:29,382
‐ Drink it. Drink it.
304
00:13:29,375 --> 00:13:31,495
You need to do whatever it takes
to keep these guys entertained
305
00:13:31,500 --> 00:13:32,960
while I come up
with a new plan.
306
00:13:36,250 --> 00:13:38,290
‐ Huh?
Not bad, huh?
307
00:13:38,292 --> 00:13:40,542
Makes you want to focus
your entire life on getting more, right?
308
00:13:47,292 --> 00:13:48,462
More whiskey.
309
00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,167
‐ Whoa‐ho‐ho, hey, you actually got
a pretty good hand here.
310
00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:57,497
You should play.
‐ Hmm?
311
00:13:57,500 --> 00:13:59,630
‐ Come on, man. You got trip kings.
312
00:13:59,625 --> 00:14:02,205
Okay, look, when you've got two
or more of the same cards, that's good.
313
00:14:02,208 --> 00:14:03,458
So just take all those chips
314
00:14:03,458 --> 00:14:05,168
and just push them
right into the center of the table.
315
00:14:05,167 --> 00:14:06,037
Come on.
316
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,420
All right, good,
now show them your cards.
317
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,960
No, no, no, don't be
a dick about it, okay.
318
00:14:13,958 --> 00:14:15,078
Just lay them on the table.
319
00:14:15,083 --> 00:14:16,253
What?
320
00:14:16,250 --> 00:14:18,130
Ahh, he won!
321
00:14:18,125 --> 00:14:21,375
‐ Yeah! We won! Woo!
Pay up, suckers!
322
00:14:21,375 --> 00:14:24,035
Pay me! Pay... my... monkey.
Pay the monkey!
323
00:14:24,042 --> 00:14:25,422
Little bitches. Yeah!
324
00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:41,745
Well, well, well. If it isn't
the double‐mint douches.
325
00:14:41,750 --> 00:14:42,920
Must be Keppei and Teppei.
326
00:14:42,917 --> 00:14:45,077
‐ What the hell are you doing?
327
00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:46,883
‐ We found them
at the General's place.
328
00:14:47,375 --> 00:14:49,535
Along with this
kick‐ass sword.
329
00:14:49,542 --> 00:14:51,172
‐ Goddamn morons.
330
00:14:51,167 --> 00:14:54,037
It was a clean‐up job,
not an estate sale.
331
00:14:54,042 --> 00:14:56,502
‐ Get those bodies
out of the casino.
332
00:14:56,500 --> 00:14:57,920
‐ Yeah. Yeah, okay, boss.
333
00:14:58,792 --> 00:15:00,212
Oh, no. Not you.
334
00:15:00,208 --> 00:15:02,498
‐ Wha‐‐
‐ You're coming with us.
335
00:15:05,333 --> 00:15:06,713
‐ Okay, new plan.
336
00:15:06,708 --> 00:15:08,248
Our targets are
in the high‐rollers room.
337
00:15:08,250 --> 00:15:09,830
So we're gonna have
to win our way up there.
338
00:15:11,083 --> 00:15:12,673
How can I be so sure
we're going to win?
339
00:15:12,667 --> 00:15:14,127
Because this moment
340
00:15:14,125 --> 00:15:16,875
is the only non‐sexual fantasy
I have ever had.
341
00:15:22,417 --> 00:15:23,747
Ho ho ho, oh yeah!
342
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:27,040
‐ Oh. Oh no.
‐ God!
343
00:15:28,167 --> 00:15:29,287
‐ Loser.
344
00:15:29,625 --> 00:15:31,245
Loser. Shit, time to fold.
345
00:15:37,958 --> 00:15:40,208
Ugh, how's he do it?
346
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,168
‐ Bet it all, baby!
347
00:15:44,292 --> 00:15:45,542
Another drink for the monkey!
348
00:15:48,375 --> 00:15:49,915
‐ Gah!
349
00:16:30,375 --> 00:16:32,125
Hey, that must be
the twins' office.
350
00:16:32,125 --> 00:16:33,745
Okay, all we have to do is
take out the‐‐
351
00:16:33,750 --> 00:16:34,710
Hey!
352
00:16:34,708 --> 00:16:37,708
Yo, Monkey.
Mission's this way, buddy.
353
00:16:37,708 --> 00:16:39,128
Dude. You're a mess.
354
00:16:40,125 --> 00:16:41,495
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
355
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:43,580
Whoa, calm down!
356
00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:46,173
Is this my opponent,
357
00:16:46,167 --> 00:16:48,247
an alcoholic monkey?
358
00:16:50,250 --> 00:16:52,420
Candy from a baby!
359
00:16:54,083 --> 00:16:55,673
‐ Just‐‐ No, ignore him.
360
00:16:55,667 --> 00:16:57,917
Okay? We got bigger fish
to shoot in the face. Come on.
361
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,170
Aw, goddamn it.
362
00:17:03,167 --> 00:17:05,077
This is gonna be my lucky day.
363
00:17:22,042 --> 00:17:23,962
‐ Okay, man, you taught him
a lesson, alright?
364
00:17:23,958 --> 00:17:25,878
But I promise you,
this is not the kind of guy
365
00:17:25,875 --> 00:17:27,245
you want to keep
taking money from.
366
00:17:30,708 --> 00:17:32,248
Whoa, I'm cutting you off.
367
00:17:32,250 --> 00:17:35,040
Getting drunk is something we do
after hits, not during.
368
00:17:35,042 --> 00:17:36,712
Okay, you know what, hey, fine.
369
00:17:36,708 --> 00:17:38,248
You wanna sabotage
the mission? Go ahead.
370
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:41,080
But I know what this is, man,
classic avoidance.
371
00:17:41,083 --> 00:17:42,963
You don't wanna do the hit.
You're stalling.
372
00:18:09,417 --> 00:18:12,077
‐ Alright, monkey.
Play time's over.
373
00:18:12,083 --> 00:18:14,383
‐ For the last time,
do not clean him out.
374
00:18:14,375 --> 00:18:17,625
I promise you, he is not gonna
let you walk away with his money.
375
00:18:22,458 --> 00:18:25,958
‐ Sorry, Charlie. Full house.
376
00:18:27,083 --> 00:18:28,883
What?
377
00:18:28,875 --> 00:18:30,785
Aah! Son of a bitch!
378
00:18:42,292 --> 00:18:44,462
‐ Aw, man. All you had
to do was lose at poker.
379
00:18:44,458 --> 00:18:46,708
That's so easy.
I do it all the time!
380
00:18:46,708 --> 00:18:50,038
Now they're going to take you out back
and put a bullet behind your ear.
381
00:18:50,042 --> 00:18:53,502
But, hey, now you don't have
to kill anymore, right?
382
00:18:55,083 --> 00:18:57,083
Ugh! Teppei.
383
00:18:57,083 --> 00:18:58,963
You had to stab him?
384
00:18:58,958 --> 00:19:01,958
You couldn't wait 30 seconds for me
to come back with the blowfish?
385
00:19:01,958 --> 00:19:04,788
‐ Ugh. What is with you
and the blowfish?
386
00:19:04,792 --> 00:19:07,632
‐ What? It's a cool‐ass way
to kill someone!
387
00:19:07,625 --> 00:19:11,285
Paralysis. Respiratory failure.
Diarrhea.
388
00:19:11,292 --> 00:19:12,962
What?
389
00:19:13,792 --> 00:19:16,882
Are you two dipshits
running a casino
390
00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:18,375
or a zoo?
391
00:19:18,375 --> 00:19:20,915
‐ Uhhh. A casino?
392
00:19:20,917 --> 00:19:22,877
‐ Relax. It's just a gimmick.
393
00:19:22,875 --> 00:19:24,205
Like a mascot.
394
00:19:24,208 --> 00:19:28,748
‐ Oh yeah? This gimmick just took me
for over six million yen.
395
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,080
And I want it back. Now!
396
00:19:31,083 --> 00:19:33,753
‐ Listen, old man, you can't talk
to us like that anymore.
397
00:19:33,750 --> 00:19:35,290
We're a big deal now.
398
00:19:35,292 --> 00:19:36,962
Running this shit ourselves.
399
00:19:41,583 --> 00:19:45,293
‐ That walking wet cough
was their mother?
400
00:19:45,292 --> 00:19:47,922
Oh my God‐‐ No, no, no, no.
Don't you dare get sad about this.
401
00:19:47,917 --> 00:19:49,497
This is how evil spreads.
402
00:19:49,500 --> 00:19:51,960
Their mom hired me to kill Takahara.
403
00:19:51,958 --> 00:19:54,878
Then had her idiot sons
enlist Kato to kill me.
404
00:19:54,875 --> 00:19:57,075
She deserved to die and so do her kids.
405
00:19:57,083 --> 00:19:58,793
‐ Boys, boys.
406
00:19:58,792 --> 00:20:00,832
If you're not gonna refund my money,
407
00:20:00,833 --> 00:20:03,173
the least you could do
is kill this monkey.
408
00:20:03,167 --> 00:20:05,327
‐ Oh, hell yeah!
409
00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:08,915
That we can do.
410
00:20:08,917 --> 00:20:10,957
‐ Mm‐mm. No way.
411
00:20:10,958 --> 00:20:13,248
You got one.
I get one.
412
00:20:14,375 --> 00:20:18,165
‐ Agh, fine. Just make sure
you prepare it wrong.
413
00:20:19,250 --> 00:20:21,580
‐ Trust me. I don't know
what I'm doing.
414
00:20:22,833 --> 00:20:24,133
‐ Okay, keep your cool,
don't panic.
415
00:20:24,125 --> 00:20:26,165
Nobody's gonna panic, okay.
All we gotta do is find something
416
00:20:26,167 --> 00:20:27,457
to undo your cuffs.
417
00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:28,378
Ta‐da!
418
00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:30,668
Dinner is served.
419
00:20:33,542 --> 00:20:34,422
‐ I‐I got nothing.
420
00:20:34,417 --> 00:20:36,037
You gotta summon
that berserker rage of yours
421
00:20:36,042 --> 00:20:38,042
and bust out of those cuffs
or we're done here.
422
00:20:38,042 --> 00:20:41,172
‐ Okay, monkey. Open wide.
423
00:20:43,958 --> 00:20:45,128
‐ What are you doing?
424
00:20:45,125 --> 00:20:46,495
Are you really going
to die because you're too‐‐
425
00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:49,040
Okay. Okay, look!
Look, look, look! I was wrong.
426
00:20:49,542 --> 00:20:51,292
Killing is not easy.
427
00:20:51,292 --> 00:20:54,632
It's not just point, shoot,
and watch the bad guy go bye‐bye.
428
00:20:54,625 --> 00:20:56,375
It's watch you go bye‐bye.
429
00:20:56,375 --> 00:20:57,785
Because every time
you kill someone,
430
00:20:57,792 --> 00:20:59,712
a little bit of you dies too.
431
00:21:00,583 --> 00:21:03,003
And it sucks.
It sucks balls.
432
00:21:03,542 --> 00:21:05,922
U‐until you're just
too numb to care anymore.
433
00:21:05,917 --> 00:21:09,327
But, but, if you're lucky,
you let it continue to suck.
434
00:21:09,333 --> 00:21:11,333
And you'll never grow numb.
435
00:21:11,333 --> 00:21:12,673
There you go, that's the truth.
436
00:21:12,667 --> 00:21:13,877
You happy?
437
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,210
Oh, that's real mature.
438
00:21:20,208 --> 00:21:22,288
You know, I‐I pour my soul
out to you and you‐‐
439
00:21:22,292 --> 00:21:23,632
Wait, wait, wait! Holy shit!
440
00:21:23,625 --> 00:21:24,915
You‐you're a monkey.
441
00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:28,077
With, uh, weird feet hands
that no one bothered to cuff.
442
00:21:37,208 --> 00:21:39,288
‐ Goddamn monkey‐‐
443
00:21:53,333 --> 00:21:55,083
No. No!
444
00:21:55,083 --> 00:21:57,043
I don't want to die!
Help me!
445
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,710
‐ Oh, goddamn!
446
00:22:06,125 --> 00:22:08,125
Oh. Nice. Nice.
447
00:22:08,125 --> 00:22:10,075
Get rid of it.
Get rid of it.
448
00:22:11,083 --> 00:22:12,713
There you go.
449
00:22:13,583 --> 00:22:15,753
So I'm thinking there's no way
Takahara's assassination
450
00:22:15,750 --> 00:22:17,880
was orchestrated
by these two nutsacks.
451
00:22:17,875 --> 00:22:18,955
Gotta to be people above them.
452
00:22:19,500 --> 00:22:21,500
And the best way to the heart
of any criminal plot
453
00:22:21,500 --> 00:22:23,000
is to follow the money.
454
00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:25,420
So grab this, and we'll study it
over a celebratory drink.
455
00:22:28,292 --> 00:22:30,962
Right after we shoot
our way out of here.
456
00:22:38,375 --> 00:22:39,285
Wait, hold on.
457
00:22:40,292 --> 00:22:41,462
Was that intentional?
458
00:22:41,458 --> 00:22:43,918
Uh, you know, going overboard
with the booze and the gambling.
459
00:22:43,917 --> 00:22:46,037
Was it, like, all a clever plan
just to get us
460
00:22:46,042 --> 00:22:47,882
in the twins' office
or dumb luck?
461
00:22:48,542 --> 00:22:51,252
It was luck, wasn't it?
No, I mean it had to have been.
462
00:22:51,250 --> 00:22:52,540
Right?
463
00:22:52,542 --> 00:22:54,712
Oh, look at that, there's my job!
464
00:22:54,708 --> 00:22:56,958
500K to "X" K. T.
465
00:22:56,958 --> 00:22:58,628
That's gotta be Ken Takahara, right?
And wait, wait.
466
00:22:58,625 --> 00:23:02,455
Um, these jobs were all paid
by someone called The Accountant.
467
00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:03,958
Oh! Oh!
It's an address.
468
00:23:04,708 --> 00:23:08,328
Sugano 2‐2‐7.
Number 9621.
469
00:23:08,917 --> 00:23:10,877
Well, this should be
a cakewalk.
470
00:23:10,875 --> 00:23:12,415
Here's your next lesson:
471
00:23:12,917 --> 00:23:15,207
money men are always
the easiest targets.
472
00:23:15,833 --> 00:23:16,883
Ha.
473
00:23:17,292 --> 00:23:18,332
Trust me.