[pages riffling]
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
♪
♪ upbeat music playing ♪
‐ Good morning!
Who wants breakfast?
Hi. Hi!
Oh, who's hungry?
[bellows]
Hi, hi. [tiger growls]
Morning, troops! Breakfast ti‐‐
Ah! [screams]
♪
BRYCE: Look, the list is absurd, okay.
[stammers] It started with a, um, a psychotic Fish Lady
and just got crazier from there, right? Okay?
You know, we had the, um, there was the Marlon Brando wannabe
in the bottom of the prison, right?
And uh, uh, yeah, the General, the Fish Lady's kids,
the weird rockabillies.
Oh‐oh, hey, come on, what about the Poacher?
And oh, let's not forget about The Rooster, right?
And his 50 goddamn doubles.
Look. Point is, you said
if we "ripped the seeds of evil from the ground,"
I get to ascend. Alright?
[Monkey grunts] That's your words!
Well, all is ripped and yet here I am, man,
still stuck in monkey purgatory!
Will you please stop snacking?
[Ryoshin clears throat]
[breathes deeply]
Oh, for shit's sake, will you say something?
[sighs deeply]
‐ Come.
‐ Oh yay. A garden tour.
Hey, look, there's a hedge. Ooh, ooh, and another hedge.
Oh my god, there are some rocks.
Oh‐ho, wow. I mean, so round.
You know, I love looking at rocks
and not getting answers to my questio‐‐
Oof!
What the hell?
Hey. Hey, guys. Guys, I think the garden is broken.
Ow! What the shit?
[hooting]
‐ Salt.
Shinto use it to ward off demons.
‐ Uh, I‐I'm sorry, what is this, some sorta weird test?
Ah, shit!
Oh, that's not a test!
[whimpers] ‐ That's right.
Demons are talkative, arrogant, and entitled.
But in his case, he may just be American.
[Monkey growls] Hard to tell.
‐ Hey! Damn it! Hey, Monkey, come on,
lend me a... a paw!
Actually, hold on. Uh, hold‐‐ hold that thought‐‐
[retches, groans]
[coughs, retches]
‐ Either way, he is beholden to you,
not the other way around.
Yes. It is you who must lead the way.
But be wary, for you travel the same path
yet risk walking alone.
Now here, have a cracker.
‐ Augh, Okay, good.
[coughing]
[groans]
Oh wow. Peaks and valleys.
HARUKA: Chopsticks, nails, toothpicks.
Looks like our suspect has a thing for everyday household items.
‐ Took his time with each one, too.
Poor bastards.
‐ You think it's connected to our Monkey?
‐ Hmm. Hard to see how it couldn't be. [squelching]
‐ Oh, gross. Ew.
‐ What you got there?
‐ It's‐‐ ZOOKEEPER: Persimmons.
They used to take one bite, then toss the rest.
It used to drive me crazy.
[Zookeeper crying]
ITO: Haruka,
what is it?
‐ I've seen this before.
[Bryce groaning, coughing]
‐ Hey, never trust a man in a robe, alright?
[retching, coughing]
Oh god.
Oh, I hope I don't need those.
No‐‐
♪ foreboding music playing ♪
[crowd gasps]
What are you‐‐ What are you looking at? What‐‐
Oh.
A target with two rings.
I‐I know that calling card.
Hey, Monkey, we gotta go.
[Monkey screeching]
I'll explain on the way. Come on.
We gotta go get our guns, now!
‐ Yeah, Let's make sure we canvass Sanchomé
and get 50 more posters printed.
Now, the tag should read,
"In Shinji We Trust."
Not "In Shinji We Thrust."
No, no, it said "Thrust."
Just make it right.
Gentlemen?
Hello?
Guys?
I'm sorry. Did you say "fired"?
‐ Donors are threatening to pull funding if I don't do this.
‐ I can fix this. ‐ We're down six points.
‐ That's just a temporary‐‐
‐ And Ozu is up ten on trustworthiness.
[sighs]
Accusing Ozu of Ken's death is one thing,
but defending some murderous monkey?
Did you even think about how that would make us look?
‐ At Ken's funeral, that monkey saved my life,
and yours.
‐ How can you be so sure?
He was carrying a gun, wasn't he?
How do you know he wasn't there to kill someone?
Another hit on his damn list.
‐ Uncle, please.
‐ I'm sorry, Akiko.
It's already done.
♪
‐ Okay, so look, there were only two things
that scared me in this world when I was alive.
One: ghosts, which is pretty damn ironic right now.
The other one: Lady Bullseye. Alright?
[Monkey hoots] Dude, you have no idea, alright?
I‐I mean, this isn't the Poacher, okay.
Lady Bullseye is on a different level.
She's, uh, Hannibal Lecter and Rambo in super tight pants.
And she's gonna come after you, and she's going to come after Akiko,
after this stupid cat.
[growls]
I mean, she'll kill the whole neighborhood, you know.
Just because she's in a bad mood. I mean, or a good mood.
Doesn't matter.
[door lock rattling] Holy shit!
Shoot! Shoot! Shoot her!
Shoot her! That's her!
‐ Oh my god!
What the hell is this?
[growling]
Monkey! ‐ Dude, we do not have time for this.
‐ Explain. [Monkey hooting]
‐ Hey, she doesn't speak Monkey, Monkey.
‐ Oh my god, I don't know what you're saying.
‐ See what I mean?
‐ It's guns like these that killed Ken Takahara!
‐ Actually it was a, uh, modified Barrett M95,
but hey, who cares about details, I'll be over here.
No worries. [Monkey grunts, hoots]
AKIKO: I, I don't‐‐ I‐‐
What? [Monkey growls]
[hooting] Just stop!
I can't deal with this right now.
Augh... I need you to leave.
[whines]
‐ Hey, uh, Monkey, bud, we got company.
‐ Haruka, slow down.
We need a game plan.
‐ A game plan?
If the monkey is there, we arrest it.
‐ I'm not so sure that's the play here.
‐ Oh my god, you always want to wait!
Why can't we just go in there and‐‐
Oh shit. ‐ Huh?
‐ Hey there.
‐ Oh, we are so screwed.
[meows]
‐ Bye‐bye. [click]
‐ Get down!
[whines]
BRYCE: [muffled voice] Monkey!
Monkey! Monkey!
Hey, don't just lie there! Let's go! Run!
Come on, man, get up!
Run! [screeching]
Not towards the danger!
Hey‐hey, listen, if we keep that psychopath here,
anything that isn't dead yet will be.
So if you want to save Akiko,
you gotta get the hell outta here!
[Lady Bullseye yells]
Monkey!
♪ tense music playing ♪
♪
[growls]
‐ Is this really what my career has come to?
Killing circus animals?
But that's why I gotta remind myself why I got into this business.
Because I genuinely love to torture.
[hooting]
HARUKA: Freeze!
On the ground.
Now.
‐ Aw, aren't you cute?
[grunts]
Bye now.
Ha!
ITO: Haruka!
‐ No!
No, no, no! Ito‐san!
[groaning] ‐ Oh my, such heroic passion,
such futility.
[grunts]
[Monkey hoots, screeches]
[Lady Bullseye snarls]
[hooting mockingly]
‐ Great, okay, you got her attention.
Can we run now, please? [Monkey growls]
[groans]
[hooting]
‐ If you stop now,
I'll make it quick and painless,
I promise!
‐ Nope. Don't believe her! She's lying!
Well, sometimes you misunderstand people's intentions!
[Monkey screeching]
[grunting]
[blades whooshing]
♪
[glass shatters]
[girl screams]
‐ Okay, hang right! Hang right here! Right, right, right, no.
[Monkey screeches] I said right!
[grunting]
‐ Ah!
[screeches]
Are you kidding me?
‐ Oh‐ho sick! I mean, I taught you that, right?
Dumb question! Of course I did!
♪
[thudding]
♪
Ohh! That was way too close, okay.
[hooting]
Hey, hey, listen, listen, I know it was hard leaving Akiko back there,
but you did the right thing.
Alright? This psychopath is after you.
And‐and when you have something to lose,
people will always target that.
Trust me. [Monkey growls]
Also, what is with you today?
'Cause I am missing that, uh, the rhythm we usually have.
You know? Like where I give you orders and you follow them?
I mean, 'cause, you know, right now it‐it‐it's like you're doing
the exact opposite of everything I say.
And it's starting to hurt my feelings,
[growls] if I'm being honest.
LADY BULLSEYE: Hey!
You didn't think this was over, did you?
[engine revving, tires screeching]
‐ Normally, I respect perseverance,
but this is just downright stalkerish.
Holy shit! [Lady Bullseye yells]
[glass shatters] [people screaming]
[metallic grinding]
[Monkey hoots] Okay, okay, go for the wires!
[hooting]
No, not that way!
Don't jump into her line of sight! Are you kidding me?
‐ Argh! [glass shatters]
[yells]
‐ Hey, congrats!
A hundred and fifty years of bad luck, ya dipshit!
[whining] ♪ circus music playing ♪
MAN: [over radio] Manzo. Where the hell are you?
Those balloons were supposed to be delivered two hours ago.
You're ruining their birthday!
‐ Yes, sir!
I appreciate you giving me this chance to start my life over.
MAN: I don't care!
Don't make me regret hiring you.
‐ Yes, sir!
[screeching]
[chuckles]
[clanging]
[tires screeching]
[gasps]
[screeching]
‐ Don't you worry, sir! You can always trust Ma‐‐
[metallic crunching, grinding]
‐ Argh!
Ha ha! Ooh, oh shit!
Son of a‐‐ [explosion booms]
[distant sirens wailing]
‐ Phew, I thought we lost you there.
[chokes]
‐ Please God, let me die.
‐ Not today, my friend.
Not today.
[clattering]
‐ Hey, over here!
I found another one!
Oh my god.
‐ Do not touch me.
[Ito groans]
‐ No, no, no. Shh.
Don't try to talk, Ito‐san.
It's okay. It's okay. [coughs]
I'm right here.
Hurry!
[siren wailing]
[meows]
♪
‐ Come on, buddy. Come on. Get up.
Get up.
Hey, you gotta fight it, okay.
Look, I‐I know I told you I saw a light
at the end of the tunnel but the truth is,
it was pitch black.
Okay? Like I was, um,
like I was floating in nothingness. Okay?
Then I saw your face,
and so I reached out to you.
And if you're there now, you gotta fight it.
Okay? Just come back.
Look, I‐I know I've been hard on you, man,
but‐but the truth is,
you're the only real friend I've ever had,
so if you can‐‐
You just can't leave me here alone.
Okay? Please. Please.
[coughing]
Oh, thank God.
Are you okay? [coughs]
[grunts]
Akiko?
You‐‐
Did you not hear what I‐‐
Uh, yeah, no, she's fine.
But I‐‐ I'm sure of it.
No, There were sirens‐‐ [groans]
Hey, hey, hey. Hey. Hey. Where you going, bud?
You're, like, half drowned.
You wanna just take a breather for a second?
‐ Authorities are investigating the monkey's involvement
in the explosion earlier today
at the home of Councilor Yokohama's niece,
Akiko Yokohama.
Police have issued a warning urging citizens
to avoid contact with the monkey
and if sighted, to call them immediately.
‐ Oh God.
The last time I was in this hospital
was to say goodbye to your parents.
I promised them I would protect you,
and now‐‐
[sobs]
I'm so sorry.
Just tell me how to fix this.
Please.
AKIKO: You can re‐hire me.
‐ Akiko.
You're alright!
‐ Seriously,
you barely know how to use your phone.
‐ You'd have to take a pay cut.
‐ [laughs weakly] I was getting paid?
‐ Excuse me, sir, you are needed.
♪
[sobs]
♪ somber music playing ♪
♪
‐ I know he might have seemed like a slouch,
but he was a good cop.
Rest easy, old partner.
‐ Partner?
‐ Oh.
He told you.
♪
Detective.
Where are you going?
♪
[Haruka gasps]
‐ Of course.
♪
[Monkey whines]
♪
[hoots]
♪
BRYCE: Hey, buddy, um,
look, I don't want to cut this short, but you're all over the news right now.
You know? We, uh, we just can't stay here.
[Monkey whines]
You know, if I had, uh,
known that killing Takahara would lead to all this, uh... death,
I‐I... Well, I probably wouldn't have taken the job.
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
♪
[evil laughter]
[roaring]
Anyway, um... man, I hate hospitals.
You know? Like, I mean, what is that smell?
You know? It's like, is somebody burning eggs or something?
Like, even the lighting is nauseating.
[clears throat] You know, anyway, like I said, I, um,
I wouldn't have taken the job.
I mean, I'm‐I'm dead because of it,
so, you know, really in many ways I've suffered the most.
It's, uh‐‐
So, hey,
what you think, huh?
You hungry?
[Monkey whimpers]
I don't know about you, bud, but I think we've earned ourselves
a little R&R, huh?
What should we do? Where do we wanna go? Huh?
Hey, you know, I know a beach in Thailand where anything goes.
Yeah? [chuckles]
You know? Or Macau.
We could go to Macau. Though I am banned from the Lisboa.
That's a long story. Fun story, but a long one.
Oh! Hey! Goa's, you know, pretty fun this time of year, too.
Ain't nothing can't be cured by margaritas, sunshine,
and a few more margaritas!
[chuckles] You know?
\What do you think, huh? Are you a salt‐on‐the‐rim kinda monkey?
MAN: [on TV] This is absurd!
We've completely lost all rule of law!
‐ You mean the rule of law that only benefits the wealthy?
‐ Oh, come on!
I'm talking about a monkey going on a killing spree!
‐ Yeah, a monkey that's cleaning up the corruption
our government has sanctioned for far too long!
‐ Oh my god, you can't be serious right now.
‐ I‐I am serious!
I'm not afraid to tell the truth.
BRYCE: Wow. Really? Okay.
We survived this whole ordeal and you want to risk your life again
with a meal here?
[laughs]
[grunts]
Oh, Akiko house‐broke you, huh? [laughs]
Glad I missed that part.
Oh man. I love these things.
You're in for a real treat, buddy.
Your butthole's gonna get a workout: see this button‐‐
[grunts]
What the‐‐ Dude?
[hooting, screeching]
Wha‐‐ A demon?
No, no, no, no, I'm not a demon!
What the hell are you talking about?
I'm sorry, ruined your life?
No. No, no, no, no.
You think I asked to be turned into some dumb‐ass monkey's ghost pet?
[growls]
Okay, I didn't mean that! I didn't mean it.
Okay, hey, come on, man. Look how far we've come!
I can fix this!
Wait! wait, wait, wait, wait!
[coughs]
Come back!
Monkey, I'm sorry!
Monkey!
♪ Fanel's Mén playing ♪
♪
[whimpers]
♪
[whimpers]
♪
[whimpers]
♪