1 00:01:12,934 --> 00:01:14,384 Yeah, I think we're okay. 2 00:01:14,384 --> 00:01:16,424 No villagers with flaming torches and pitchforks. 3 00:01:16,421 --> 00:01:18,251 Mind you, it is still quite early. 4 00:01:18,250 --> 00:01:19,840 You're not funny, you know? 5 00:01:19,838 --> 00:01:21,078 You don't have to do this. 6 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,811 You could just take the day off. 7 00:01:22,806 --> 00:01:24,526 Why would I do that? 8 00:01:24,532 --> 00:01:26,882 Perhaps because you didn't get a wink of sleep. 9 00:01:26,879 --> 00:01:28,329 Says who? 10 00:01:28,329 --> 00:01:30,059 Maggie, we've been married 30 years, 11 00:01:30,055 --> 00:01:32,085 do you think I don't know the difference between you sleeping 12 00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,962 and you just lying there all night with your eyes closed? 13 00:01:33,955 --> 00:01:36,095 What? 14 00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:37,606 Nothing, I just... I'm just trying to work out 15 00:01:37,614 --> 00:01:39,694 if that is sweet or creepy. 16 00:01:39,685 --> 00:01:41,095 I'm fine, I promise. 17 00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,621 All right, okay... 18 00:01:42,619 --> 00:01:44,209 And we've been married 19 00:01:44,207 --> 00:01:46,037 31years, by the way. 20 00:01:46,036 --> 00:01:49,796 I know that, just rounding down. 21 00:01:49,799 --> 00:01:51,039 Carol! 22 00:01:52,250 --> 00:01:54,010 Oh do you think I should go-- No! 23 00:01:54,010 --> 00:01:55,670 She's on her way to work, just leave it. 24 00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,119 You're right. 25 00:02:01,121 --> 00:02:03,881 Baby steps is what's needed here. 26 00:02:03,882 --> 00:02:06,922 And I need to work out exactly what I'm going to say 27 00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:08,959 to all of them. 28 00:02:08,956 --> 00:02:10,156 The last thing I need to do now 29 00:02:10,164 --> 00:02:11,894 is to rush-- 30 00:02:13,305 --> 00:02:15,445 Is she looking? 31 00:02:15,445 --> 00:02:18,995 I don't know, your head's in the way. 32 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:21,420 Do you want me to check or... No! No! 33 00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:22,867 Otherwise you might make eye contact, 34 00:02:22,866 --> 00:02:24,726 and then you'll have to wave, 35 00:02:24,730 --> 00:02:26,590 and I'll have to wave. 36 00:02:26,594 --> 00:02:29,364 And the whole thing will just seem sarcastic. 37 00:02:30,288 --> 00:02:33,048 Maybe... drive away then? 38 00:02:33,049 --> 00:02:35,709 I'm gonna drive away. 39 00:02:59,662 --> 00:03:01,222 I don't... 40 00:03:01,215 --> 00:03:03,905 I mean it's just unbelievable. 41 00:03:07,463 --> 00:03:10,053 Oh Roxanna, can I just have a quick word, hun? 42 00:03:10,051 --> 00:03:12,261 Okay. 43 00:03:17,335 --> 00:03:18,985 Sorry, can I just... 44 00:03:22,961 --> 00:03:24,891 Oh, for God's sake. 45 00:03:24,894 --> 00:03:26,834 Oi! 46 00:03:32,488 --> 00:03:35,248 Didn't you see 'em? Didn't I see who? 47 00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,109 Rubberneckers. Who? 48 00:03:37,113 --> 00:03:40,053 The people staring at you like you're in a zoo exhibit. 49 00:03:40,047 --> 00:03:41,217 What people? 50 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:42,501 The couple who live opposite. 51 00:03:42,498 --> 00:03:44,428 Oh... 52 00:03:44,431 --> 00:03:46,811 I mean, I wouldn't mind but they never even come in here. 53 00:03:46,812 --> 00:03:48,122 Well, maybe they will now. 54 00:03:48,124 --> 00:03:49,374 Not after what I just said to 'em. 55 00:03:49,367 --> 00:03:51,537 What? 56 00:03:53,992 --> 00:03:55,172 You should sue the radio station. 57 00:03:55,165 --> 00:03:56,405 Nah, I just wanna forget about it. 58 00:03:56,408 --> 00:03:58,028 You should at least sue Maggie Cole. 59 00:03:58,030 --> 00:03:59,410 You know she's always been like this. 60 00:03:59,411 --> 00:04:00,721 She used to work at the school 61 00:04:00,723 --> 00:04:02,003 when I was there. 62 00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:04,420 Sent me to the old headmistress for pretending to smoke. 63 00:04:04,416 --> 00:04:06,826 Pretending to? I was only eight years old. 64 00:04:06,832 --> 00:04:09,492 It was only a bit of rolled up graph paper. 65 00:04:09,490 --> 00:04:10,910 Go on... 66 00:04:10,905 --> 00:04:12,485 sue her, it'll be fun. 67 00:04:12,493 --> 00:04:15,013 I told you, I just wanna forget about it. 68 00:04:16,152 --> 00:04:18,782 If you see anymore rubberneckers, 69 00:04:18,775 --> 00:04:22,045 don't swear at them till they've bought at least one pint, eh? 70 00:04:22,054 --> 00:04:23,194 This is still a business. 71 00:04:32,755 --> 00:04:33,855 Is something wrong? 72 00:04:33,859 --> 00:04:35,619 No. 73 00:04:35,620 --> 00:04:39,240 Just Liam sent me another one of his unfunny jokes again. 74 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,450 You really didn't need to come with me you know? 75 00:05:12,450 --> 00:05:14,450 Moral support. 76 00:05:16,074 --> 00:05:17,704 Hello, this is a nice surprise. 77 00:05:17,696 --> 00:05:19,836 Yeah, might wanna hold that thought Maggie. 78 00:05:19,836 --> 00:05:22,486 Sorry? 79 00:05:22,494 --> 00:05:24,154 Think we should go inside, Mum. 80 00:05:29,708 --> 00:05:31,498 No infection, 81 00:05:31,503 --> 00:05:33,543 no inflammation, and... 82 00:05:33,540 --> 00:05:36,300 certainly no novelty pencil eraser. 83 00:05:36,301 --> 00:05:39,441 But he said he shoved it right in, all the way. 84 00:05:39,442 --> 00:05:41,002 Mrs. Jarvis, if he had, 85 00:05:40,995 --> 00:05:43,335 then I assure you he'd either be completely deaf 86 00:05:43,343 --> 00:05:45,453 or completely dead. 87 00:05:45,448 --> 00:05:46,898 As he appears to be neither I'm going to suggest 88 00:05:46,898 --> 00:05:50,068 he's either lying or it simply fell out. 89 00:05:50,073 --> 00:05:51,283 My Tommy don't lie. 90 00:05:51,281 --> 00:05:53,391 Then I refer you to option B. 91 00:05:55,907 --> 00:05:57,247 Right. 92 00:06:03,155 --> 00:06:05,985 Of course you know where he got it from, don't you? 93 00:06:05,986 --> 00:06:07,186 A school trip up the Keep. 94 00:06:08,644 --> 00:06:10,204 That Maggie Cole runs it, don't she? 95 00:06:10,197 --> 00:06:11,407 I've no idea. 96 00:06:11,405 --> 00:06:14,335 Yeah, yeah, she does. 97 00:06:14,339 --> 00:06:16,789 I was just reading about that radio interview 98 00:06:16,790 --> 00:06:18,860 she gave, actually. Yes, well, 99 00:06:18,861 --> 00:06:20,831 if I were you Mrs. Jarvis, I'd spend less time 100 00:06:20,828 --> 00:06:23,278 worrying about what some... hang on. 101 00:06:23,279 --> 00:06:24,379 What do you mean reading? 102 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:26,324 Reading about it where? 103 00:06:27,490 --> 00:06:29,390 Do I get a lolly now or what? 104 00:06:30,355 --> 00:06:32,145 Yeah, after some lunch. 105 00:06:42,367 --> 00:06:44,297 Well, what am I looking at? 106 00:06:44,300 --> 00:06:45,610 Your interview, Mum. 107 00:06:45,612 --> 00:06:46,792 And... 108 00:06:46,785 --> 00:06:48,745 it's trending. 109 00:06:48,753 --> 00:06:50,203 "Trending"? 110 00:06:50,202 --> 00:06:51,892 it's trending. 111 00:06:51,894 --> 00:06:53,654 Slap bang between the "X Factor" final 112 00:06:53,654 --> 00:06:55,284 and International Pets Day. 113 00:06:55,276 --> 00:06:56,896 But I don't understand. 114 00:06:56,899 --> 00:06:59,799 Well, someone posted it online last night 115 00:06:59,798 --> 00:07:00,898 and since then it's been 116 00:07:00,903 --> 00:07:05,083 retweeted, like... 1,200 times. 117 00:07:05,079 --> 00:07:06,529 Oh God. 118 00:07:06,529 --> 00:07:08,259 It's basically become a meme. 119 00:07:08,255 --> 00:07:09,765 A meme? 120 00:07:09,774 --> 00:07:12,264 Yeah, you know, like the woman that punched the horse? 121 00:07:12,259 --> 00:07:13,609 Becks? 122 00:07:13,605 --> 00:07:14,705 I'm just explaining it to her. 123 00:07:14,710 --> 00:07:17,020 Oh God... 124 00:07:17,022 --> 00:07:19,822 The things people are saying! 125 00:07:21,061 --> 00:07:22,611 They're just trolls, Maggie. 126 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,688 Oh, uh... 127 00:07:27,688 --> 00:07:29,998 Thurlbury... Castle? Fort. 128 00:07:30,001 --> 00:07:32,971 Keep. Keep. 129 00:07:32,969 --> 00:07:34,319 Uh... yeah, she is. 130 00:07:34,315 --> 00:07:36,245 Mum? Yes? 131 00:07:36,248 --> 00:07:38,418 Dad. Right. 132 00:07:38,423 --> 00:07:39,743 Peter? Peter? 133 00:07:39,735 --> 00:07:40,975 I'm a meme! 134 00:07:40,977 --> 00:07:43,077 I know, love, I know. 135 00:07:53,403 --> 00:07:56,373 8,000 retweets in 24 hours. 136 00:07:56,372 --> 00:07:59,862 There aren't 8,000 people in Thurlbury! 137 00:07:59,858 --> 00:08:04,658 That means absolutely everybody's seen it by now. 138 00:08:04,656 --> 00:08:06,686 Even the bloody Queen has probably seen it. 139 00:08:06,693 --> 00:08:09,323 Right, well that's my O.B.E. up the swanny then. 140 00:08:11,352 --> 00:08:12,562 What are you doing? 141 00:08:12,561 --> 00:08:14,671 What do you mean what am I doing? 142 00:08:14,666 --> 00:08:15,906 I'm looking out the window. 143 00:08:17,358 --> 00:08:19,048 Why can't I look out the window? 144 00:08:19,050 --> 00:08:20,710 It's my window! 145 00:08:20,707 --> 00:08:23,567 Right, I mean I like to think of it as ourwindow 146 00:08:23,572 --> 00:08:25,092 but that doesn't... 147 00:08:25,090 --> 00:08:26,400 Oooh, oh, oh, oh, oh. 148 00:08:26,402 --> 00:08:27,752 Well, now where are you going? 149 00:08:40,071 --> 00:08:41,281 Carol. 150 00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:43,279 Carol, please wait, Carol! 151 00:08:43,281 --> 00:08:44,521 What? 152 00:08:44,524 --> 00:08:47,774 I just want to say that I'm sorry. 153 00:08:47,768 --> 00:08:49,868 Well, now you have. And I want to let you know 154 00:08:49,874 --> 00:08:52,084 that I am gonna make it right, all of it. 155 00:08:52,083 --> 00:08:53,263 I am. 156 00:08:53,256 --> 00:08:54,736 If you could just hear me out 157 00:08:54,741 --> 00:08:57,051 for five minutes, Carol, please! 158 00:08:57,053 --> 00:08:58,753 You're gonna have to talk to me eventually. 159 00:08:58,745 --> 00:09:00,125 Why? Well, because... 160 00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:01,955 because you're my doctor. 161 00:09:01,955 --> 00:09:03,535 Going private. 162 00:09:34,366 --> 00:09:35,606 Hi, Emil. 163 00:09:35,609 --> 00:09:37,649 Hey. 164 00:09:37,646 --> 00:09:39,506 I see you've had a run on Marcus Ormansby's. 165 00:09:39,509 --> 00:09:42,999 Ah, people buy them to see if they appear in them. 166 00:09:42,996 --> 00:09:45,066 Which they don't. 167 00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:46,587 Are you okay? 168 00:09:48,449 --> 00:09:50,349 No Jill, no, it's not been a good day. 169 00:09:50,348 --> 00:09:51,488 Oh... 170 00:09:51,487 --> 00:09:53,937 Ditto. 171 00:09:53,938 --> 00:09:55,218 Is Roxy at home? 172 00:09:55,215 --> 00:09:57,415 She came straight home and straight to her room, 173 00:09:57,424 --> 00:10:01,844 just like when she was a teenager and she was upset. 174 00:10:01,842 --> 00:10:04,022 I never knew what to say for the best then either. 175 00:10:04,017 --> 00:10:06,807 Well, judging from how she's turned out, 176 00:10:06,813 --> 00:10:09,233 I'd guess you always managed to say the right thing. 177 00:10:09,229 --> 00:10:10,849 I hope so. 178 00:10:10,851 --> 00:10:12,441 Thank you, Jill. 179 00:10:19,860 --> 00:10:21,760 Well... 180 00:10:21,759 --> 00:10:25,759 Never actually read one, plus... 181 00:10:25,763 --> 00:10:27,453 I kind of like the title. 182 00:10:27,454 --> 00:10:30,114 Mm... 183 00:10:36,014 --> 00:10:37,644 All right, kidda? 184 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:38,977 Where's your mum? Upstairs. 185 00:10:40,191 --> 00:10:41,541 Dad? 186 00:10:41,537 --> 00:10:42,847 Are we millionaires? 187 00:10:50,373 --> 00:10:51,793 What are you doing? 188 00:10:51,789 --> 00:10:53,619 Come on, you don't want Josh seeing this. 189 00:10:53,618 --> 00:10:55,208 I think it's a bit too late 190 00:10:55,206 --> 00:10:56,516 for that don't you? 191 00:10:56,517 --> 00:10:58,547 We said we weren't gonna touch it. 192 00:10:58,554 --> 00:10:59,974 We said we'd leave it for a year 193 00:10:59,969 --> 00:11:02,139 and only then spend it in small amounts! 194 00:11:02,144 --> 00:11:03,974 I know, I just... 195 00:11:03,973 --> 00:11:06,803 we were just sitting on it though Kelly, £70,000, I just... 196 00:11:06,804 --> 00:11:09,744 wanted something to make it feel real, you know? 197 00:11:09,738 --> 00:11:11,878 A sportscar, Neil? 198 00:11:11,878 --> 00:11:16,988 I mean... couldn't you have gone with a new TV or something? 199 00:11:16,986 --> 00:11:18,086 I'm surprised you didn't get a personalized number plate 200 00:11:18,091 --> 00:11:19,131 while you were at it. 201 00:11:23,441 --> 00:11:28,311 Oh Neil, you haven't? 202 00:11:28,308 --> 00:11:29,898 K-E-L-L-1-3. 203 00:11:29,896 --> 00:11:32,136 I know you're Kelly with a "Y" 204 00:11:32,139 --> 00:11:35,899 but that was already taken so. 205 00:11:35,902 --> 00:11:37,702 It's on order, it's supposed to be a surprise. 206 00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:40,417 It was. It is. 207 00:11:40,423 --> 00:11:42,493 You might as well have got one that spelled out "thief." 208 00:11:42,494 --> 00:11:44,224 Don't say that, Kelly. 209 00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:48,740 We didn't steal anything, you know we didn't, we just... 210 00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:51,432 we took advantage of an opportunity. 211 00:11:51,434 --> 00:11:54,234 That's all. 212 00:11:54,230 --> 00:11:55,890 And nothing has changed. 213 00:11:55,887 --> 00:11:57,507 Nothing's changed?! 214 00:11:57,509 --> 00:12:00,479 Neil, the entire village thinks we've won the lottery. 215 00:12:02,929 --> 00:12:05,349 Well, maybe that's the answer. 216 00:12:05,345 --> 00:12:06,615 What is? 217 00:12:06,622 --> 00:12:09,522 What you just said. What? 218 00:12:09,521 --> 00:12:12,561 The entire village thinks we've won the lottery, 219 00:12:12,559 --> 00:12:15,489 who's to say we haven't? 220 00:12:23,639 --> 00:12:26,949 Carol? 221 00:12:26,953 --> 00:12:28,583 I take it you've heard what the number one trending topic 222 00:12:28,575 --> 00:12:29,705 across the county today is? 223 00:12:29,714 --> 00:12:31,274 I have, yes. 224 00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:33,577 So are you gonna tell me where you've been? 225 00:12:33,580 --> 00:12:36,510 There. Really? 226 00:12:36,514 --> 00:12:38,034 On a Monday? 227 00:12:38,033 --> 00:12:39,483 Must've been a bit of a surprise. 228 00:12:39,482 --> 00:12:42,182 And how exactly did you explain that sudden little... 229 00:12:42,175 --> 00:12:44,135 It's over. 230 00:12:44,142 --> 00:12:45,522 What? 231 00:12:45,523 --> 00:12:48,043 I ended it. 232 00:12:48,043 --> 00:12:49,223 It's over. 233 00:13:02,022 --> 00:13:04,272 It was too soon, wasn't it? 234 00:13:04,266 --> 00:13:07,926 Me trying to talk to Carol, it was too soon. 235 00:13:07,925 --> 00:13:10,125 I thought you didn't wanna talk about this? 236 00:13:10,134 --> 00:13:11,554 I don'twant to talk about it 237 00:13:11,549 --> 00:13:13,209 and I'm nottalking about it. 238 00:13:13,206 --> 00:13:14,346 Right then. 239 00:13:16,278 --> 00:13:18,798 It was too soon wasn't it? 240 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,318 I don't know, Maggie. 241 00:13:20,316 --> 00:13:21,796 You know, it's not like 242 00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:24,391 there's a set of rules for this sort of thing. 243 00:13:24,389 --> 00:13:26,909 But if there were? 244 00:13:26,909 --> 00:13:30,089 I dunno if there were uh... maybe something like, 245 00:13:30,085 --> 00:13:32,425 you know if you are going to publicly announce, 246 00:13:32,432 --> 00:13:35,122 on the radio, that, uh, that a woman's husband 247 00:13:35,124 --> 00:13:38,064 is having an affair behind her back 248 00:13:38,058 --> 00:13:41,718 with a man... 249 00:13:41,717 --> 00:13:43,437 Maybe give it, you know, 48 hours 250 00:13:43,443 --> 00:13:46,273 before bringing it up? 251 00:13:46,273 --> 00:13:48,143 And I gave it 24. You gave it 24. 252 00:13:48,137 --> 00:13:49,277 Probably where I went wrong. 253 00:13:49,276 --> 00:13:51,276 Probably where you went wrong. 254 00:13:53,384 --> 00:13:55,494 It'll be 48 hours tomorrow? Oh, you... 255 00:13:55,489 --> 00:13:57,149 Sorry, sorry. 256 00:14:14,129 --> 00:14:15,339 Morning! 257 00:14:15,337 --> 00:14:17,057 Nothing! 258 00:14:17,063 --> 00:14:19,313 It's... 259 00:14:20,998 --> 00:14:22,548 Jamie? 260 00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:23,761 What's up? 261 00:14:23,759 --> 00:14:25,139 I'm running late. 262 00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,970 Ah! I'm gonna miss the team huddle. 263 00:14:26,969 --> 00:14:28,519 Estate agents huddle? 264 00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:30,352 Yeah, estate agents huddle. 265 00:14:30,352 --> 00:14:31,972 Why can't estate agents huddle? 266 00:14:31,974 --> 00:14:35,254 I don't know, I suppose they can if they want. 267 00:14:35,253 --> 00:14:36,573 You might wanna forgo this one though. 268 00:14:36,565 --> 00:14:39,565 Why? 269 00:14:39,568 --> 00:14:40,778 Becka... 270 00:14:40,776 --> 00:14:42,496 why am I forgoing my huddle? 271 00:14:42,502 --> 00:14:44,302 Uh, that's a sentence I bet you never thought 272 00:14:44,297 --> 00:14:45,777 you'd say out loud. 273 00:14:45,781 --> 00:14:47,401 Sorry. 274 00:14:47,403 --> 00:14:49,163 I'm just trying to lighten the mood before you flip out. 275 00:14:49,164 --> 00:14:50,964 Well, I should've left like ten minutes ago. 276 00:14:50,959 --> 00:14:52,549 What's so important that it's gonna make me flip out? 277 00:14:58,759 --> 00:15:01,109 Yeah... that'll do it all right. 278 00:15:01,107 --> 00:15:05,037 Do you need a huddle? 279 00:15:05,042 --> 00:15:08,182 It says I broke the internet-- did I? 280 00:15:08,183 --> 00:15:09,463 Did I break the internet? 281 00:15:09,460 --> 00:15:11,810 Oh, I think the internet will be all right. 282 00:15:11,807 --> 00:15:13,497 I can't believe they've done this. 283 00:15:13,498 --> 00:15:16,228 What will they all think? 284 00:15:16,225 --> 00:15:18,465 I almost wish it was my photo instead, 285 00:15:18,469 --> 00:15:20,819 splashed over the front cover. 286 00:15:20,816 --> 00:15:21,956 Do you? 287 00:15:21,955 --> 00:15:26,925 Well, turn to page three... 288 00:15:27,961 --> 00:15:30,581 Oh... 289 00:15:30,584 --> 00:15:32,144 That's from the Halloween disco. 290 00:15:32,138 --> 00:15:33,378 They must've got it from the school website. 291 00:15:33,380 --> 00:15:34,830 Yeah, but there's loads 292 00:15:34,830 --> 00:15:36,630 of much better pictures of me on there! 293 00:15:36,625 --> 00:15:38,895 It's as if they've chosen this one deliberately. 294 00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:40,803 It-it does get worse, 295 00:15:40,801 --> 00:15:42,421 they've got your age wrong too. 296 00:15:42,424 --> 00:15:45,084 What? What? 297 00:15:45,082 --> 00:15:46,672 64!? 298 00:15:48,499 --> 00:15:49,709 Hello? 299 00:15:49,707 --> 00:15:50,877 It's Jamie. 300 00:15:50,880 --> 00:15:52,610 Tell him I already know. 301 00:15:52,606 --> 00:15:54,086 She already knows. 302 00:15:54,091 --> 00:15:55,581 She already knows. 303 00:15:55,575 --> 00:15:56,885 Does she know about her age? 304 00:15:58,750 --> 00:16:00,170 Is she okay? Is she handling it? 305 00:16:00,166 --> 00:16:02,576 Yeah, yeah, 306 00:16:02,582 --> 00:16:05,482 she's, um... just hang on two secs, Jamie... 307 00:16:05,481 --> 00:16:07,171 Here. 308 00:16:07,173 --> 00:16:09,043 You can take the car today, I've decided to call in sick. 309 00:16:09,037 --> 00:16:10,447 Where are you going? 310 00:16:10,452 --> 00:16:12,322 Where do people usually go when they call in sick? 311 00:16:14,387 --> 00:16:15,557 To see the doctor. 312 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,670 No, no, wait, Maggie! 313 00:16:17,666 --> 00:16:19,046 Maggie! 314 00:16:19,047 --> 00:16:20,357 Oh, sh... 315 00:16:20,358 --> 00:16:21,498 Sorry? 316 00:16:21,497 --> 00:16:23,087 Ts... pfft... oh... 317 00:16:31,887 --> 00:16:34,127 Reckon he's seen the paper? 318 00:16:34,131 --> 00:16:36,961 Don't know, don't care, it's not true anyway. 319 00:16:36,961 --> 00:16:39,581 Don't do that here. What? 320 00:16:39,584 --> 00:16:40,864 Outside Mr. Biggs? 321 00:16:40,861 --> 00:16:42,931 Aww, you're sweet. 322 00:16:42,932 --> 00:16:44,762 Do you still believe in the tooth fairy too? 323 00:16:44,762 --> 00:16:46,352 Hey, if it means 324 00:16:46,350 --> 00:16:47,870 I'm getting a fiver under my pillow then, yeah. 325 00:16:47,868 --> 00:16:50,178 As if anybody is paying a fiver for your teeth. 326 00:16:50,181 --> 00:16:51,421 Why, what do you mean? 327 00:16:51,424 --> 00:16:54,434 What's the matter with my teeth? 328 00:16:54,427 --> 00:16:55,737 Nothing, Liam, 329 00:16:55,738 --> 00:16:58,258 they are very, very nice teeth. 330 00:16:58,258 --> 00:16:59,498 Mm... 331 00:16:59,501 --> 00:17:02,711 It's your brain I'm worried about. 332 00:17:02,711 --> 00:17:04,441 See you tonight. Yeah. 333 00:17:08,924 --> 00:17:10,274 Oi, Syd! 334 00:17:10,270 --> 00:17:13,140 Look, now it's all out in the open, 335 00:17:13,135 --> 00:17:15,375 why don't you just ask him? 336 00:17:15,379 --> 00:17:16,549 Sure. 337 00:17:16,552 --> 00:17:18,312 I'll get right on that. 338 00:17:24,146 --> 00:17:27,076 Morning. Morning. 339 00:17:27,080 --> 00:17:28,880 What's she doing here? 340 00:17:28,875 --> 00:17:30,765 She asked to see you. I asked what it was about, 341 00:17:30,773 --> 00:17:31,883 she said it was personal. 342 00:17:34,777 --> 00:17:37,127 So I told her you can't see the doctor 343 00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:40,015 unless you have a medical reason to see the doctor. 344 00:17:40,024 --> 00:17:41,684 So she said she had one, so I said what is it? 345 00:17:41,681 --> 00:17:43,371 So she said it's personal. 346 00:17:43,372 --> 00:17:45,242 So I said, "If you don't tell me what it is then I can't 347 00:17:45,236 --> 00:17:47,066 "put it on the system, and if I don't put it on the system, 348 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,516 then you can't see the doctor, end of." 349 00:17:48,515 --> 00:17:49,785 Yes, and? 350 00:17:53,589 --> 00:17:56,179 Trench foot?! 351 00:18:08,742 --> 00:18:10,432 Concerned parent 86. 352 00:18:10,434 --> 00:18:11,684 Sorry? 353 00:18:11,676 --> 00:18:13,156 Oh, this woman on our website. 354 00:18:13,161 --> 00:18:14,541 Well, I assume it's a woman, 355 00:18:14,541 --> 00:18:15,891 sounds like a woman-- 356 00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:17,887 keeps making all these sort of poisonous little posts. 357 00:18:17,889 --> 00:18:19,579 "In light of recent events, 358 00:18:19,581 --> 00:18:20,931 "do other parents agree that the headmaster's position 359 00:18:20,927 --> 00:18:22,197 has become untenable," 360 00:18:22,204 --> 00:18:24,794 blah blah blah, "conflict of interest..." 361 00:18:24,793 --> 00:18:26,003 whinge, whinge, whinge. 362 00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:27,521 "Best for the school..." 363 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:31,040 I mean as if any of this Peter-- is Mr. Cole's fault. 364 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:32,770 If you ask me, 365 00:18:32,766 --> 00:18:34,526 he's the real victim here. 366 00:18:34,527 --> 00:18:36,047 Oh, after all of you lot 367 00:18:36,045 --> 00:18:38,075 with your pictures in the paper, obviously. 368 00:18:43,846 --> 00:18:44,946 Oh, Jill. 369 00:18:44,951 --> 00:18:46,751 Hello. 370 00:18:46,746 --> 00:18:50,126 Um... Roxanna's not feeling very well so she's gonna go home. 371 00:18:50,129 --> 00:18:51,509 Oh right. 372 00:18:51,509 --> 00:18:52,889 And what's, um... what's wrong? 373 00:18:52,890 --> 00:18:55,240 Oh, uh... 374 00:18:55,237 --> 00:18:56,547 I've got a free period 375 00:18:56,549 --> 00:18:58,209 so I'm gonna drive her. 376 00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:01,423 Yeah, of course. 377 00:19:09,665 --> 00:19:12,045 It's all getting a bit out of hand isn't it? 378 00:19:12,047 --> 00:19:15,907 Radio, internet, newspaper, and all because of one women. 379 00:19:17,121 --> 00:19:18,921 Oh, did I hear you say 380 00:19:18,916 --> 00:19:21,086 that Roxanna was going home sick now? 381 00:19:21,090 --> 00:19:22,580 Oh, I don't know, Karen, 382 00:19:22,575 --> 00:19:24,055 that would depend on whether you were listening in 383 00:19:24,059 --> 00:19:25,199 to our conversation or not. 384 00:19:25,198 --> 00:19:26,748 No, I was not! 385 00:19:26,751 --> 00:19:28,241 Well, then, presumably you didn't hear me 386 00:19:28,236 --> 00:19:29,576 say anything of the sort. 387 00:19:34,690 --> 00:19:38,900 Only if she is then I need to update my system, do you see? 388 00:19:38,901 --> 00:19:40,391 Well, if you were listening in 389 00:19:40,386 --> 00:19:42,216 and you did hear me say it 390 00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,975 then you'd better update your system. 391 00:19:43,975 --> 00:19:46,315 Yeah. 392 00:19:46,323 --> 00:19:48,673 It's a tricky one, ain't it? 393 00:19:58,404 --> 00:20:01,174 Not one word of any of this is true. 394 00:20:01,165 --> 00:20:02,785 You do know that, don't you? 395 00:20:02,787 --> 00:20:05,617 Of course I do. 396 00:20:05,618 --> 00:20:07,138 Poor Roxanna. 397 00:20:08,172 --> 00:20:09,242 Is she okay? 398 00:20:09,242 --> 00:20:11,042 What's she said about it all? 399 00:20:11,037 --> 00:20:12,797 She's fine. 400 00:20:12,797 --> 00:20:14,247 Really? 401 00:20:14,247 --> 00:20:15,657 Yeah, yeah, honestly. 402 00:20:15,662 --> 00:20:16,872 She's good. 403 00:20:16,870 --> 00:20:18,040 So I've heard. 404 00:20:18,044 --> 00:20:19,874 Read it on a toilet wall. 405 00:20:19,873 --> 00:20:20,913 It's not funny, Liam. 406 00:20:20,909 --> 00:20:22,909 It's a bit funny. 407 00:20:22,911 --> 00:20:24,291 Go and get changed. 408 00:20:24,292 --> 00:20:26,022 You're coming with me to visit Nana. 409 00:20:26,017 --> 00:20:27,707 Me? Why can't he go? 410 00:20:27,709 --> 00:20:30,089 Because unlike you, I have a job. 411 00:20:30,090 --> 00:20:31,200 Oh yeah, yeah. 412 00:20:31,195 --> 00:20:32,575 I've heard of those. 413 00:20:32,576 --> 00:20:34,576 You did have another one though, didn't you? 414 00:20:34,578 --> 00:20:35,818 A better one, 415 00:20:35,820 --> 00:20:37,680 and then you packed it all in to come back here, 416 00:20:37,684 --> 00:20:39,414 to Thurlbury. 417 00:20:39,410 --> 00:20:42,340 Well, it's because I missed you Liam, so, so much. 418 00:20:42,344 --> 00:20:44,244 Aww... Will you go and get changed? 419 00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:47,383 At least the t-shirt. 420 00:20:47,384 --> 00:20:48,804 What's wrong with it? 421 00:20:48,799 --> 00:20:50,279 It's got a cannabis leaf on it, you bell-end! 422 00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,293 Who are you calling a bell-end? 423 00:20:52,285 --> 00:20:54,285 Anyway, she won't know what it is. 424 00:20:54,287 --> 00:20:56,257 Half the time she doesn't even know who I am. 425 00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:58,145 Oh, lucky her! Liam... 426 00:20:58,153 --> 00:21:00,333 All right, god. 427 00:21:02,882 --> 00:21:04,542 See you tonight then, Mum. 428 00:21:06,092 --> 00:21:07,992 You don't regret it, do you? 429 00:21:07,990 --> 00:21:09,720 Coming back? 430 00:21:09,716 --> 00:21:10,786 I mean... 431 00:21:13,789 --> 00:21:18,829 Only I do sometimes feel guilty that maybe you just... 432 00:21:18,829 --> 00:21:20,619 Mum, it's okay. 433 00:21:22,039 --> 00:21:24,009 Big city life wasn't for me. 434 00:21:24,006 --> 00:21:25,656 I needed to get out, trust me. 435 00:21:25,663 --> 00:21:27,983 I'm glad you did. 436 00:21:27,976 --> 00:21:29,806 Oh... 437 00:21:29,805 --> 00:21:31,285 these last few months, 438 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:34,150 everything that's happened... 439 00:21:34,154 --> 00:21:36,264 Mum going into that home and... 440 00:21:37,882 --> 00:21:39,162 and your dad... 441 00:21:40,782 --> 00:21:42,402 I don't know how I would've got through it. 442 00:21:43,785 --> 00:21:46,165 It's okay. 443 00:21:46,166 --> 00:21:47,996 And you really shouldn't call your brother a bell-end, you know? 444 00:21:47,996 --> 00:21:50,066 All right. 445 00:22:01,043 --> 00:22:02,703 She is, yeah. 446 00:22:02,700 --> 00:22:05,150 Are you sure? 447 00:22:08,775 --> 00:22:10,085 Mrs. Cole? 448 00:22:10,087 --> 00:22:12,157 Mm? The doctor will see you now. 449 00:22:12,158 --> 00:22:15,088 Ah, thank you. 450 00:22:17,508 --> 00:22:18,578 Oh... 451 00:22:26,966 --> 00:22:30,106 You know, Roxy, nobody actually believes a word of it. 452 00:22:30,107 --> 00:22:32,387 The kids at school don't, I don't, 453 00:22:32,385 --> 00:22:35,625 and I know for a fact that your dad won't. 454 00:22:35,630 --> 00:22:37,740 It's tomorrow's fish and chip paper, that's all. 455 00:22:37,735 --> 00:22:40,115 Alex hasn't even spoken to me since. 456 00:22:40,117 --> 00:22:42,187 And it's not like he'd believe it, 457 00:22:42,188 --> 00:22:44,398 at least I don't think he would, 458 00:22:44,397 --> 00:22:45,917 it's more likely he's worried how it would look 459 00:22:45,916 --> 00:22:47,116 to his mates or something. 460 00:22:47,124 --> 00:22:48,374 Oh, he's an idiot, what can I say? 461 00:22:48,367 --> 00:22:49,637 He doesn't deserve you. 462 00:22:49,644 --> 00:22:52,234 And if it makes you feel any better, I also know 463 00:22:52,232 --> 00:22:56,002 that Geoff Gill in 3C has a huge crush on you. He's eight. 464 00:22:55,995 --> 00:22:58,235 Yeah, well, I'm not saying you don't have a long wait in store, 465 00:22:58,238 --> 00:22:59,998 I'm just saying you've got options. 466 00:23:02,035 --> 00:23:03,485 That's better. 467 00:23:03,485 --> 00:23:05,305 Don't let the buggers drag you down. 468 00:23:05,314 --> 00:23:07,084 That's what my granny used to always say. 469 00:23:07,075 --> 00:23:08,935 I know I'm not. 470 00:23:08,939 --> 00:23:11,629 Thanks for driving me home. 471 00:23:13,046 --> 00:23:17,566 What goes around comes around, Roxy, you'll see. 472 00:23:28,821 --> 00:23:29,891 Marcus? 473 00:23:29,891 --> 00:23:32,241 You're Marcus Ormansby, right? 474 00:23:32,238 --> 00:23:34,208 I am, yes. 475 00:23:34,205 --> 00:23:36,205 And no, before you ask, none of my books are based on 476 00:23:36,207 --> 00:23:37,857 anyone in this village. 477 00:23:37,864 --> 00:23:39,454 I've already had three people stop me this morning. 478 00:23:39,452 --> 00:23:40,802 No, no, no, no, no, so sorry. 479 00:23:40,798 --> 00:23:42,248 I'm... I'm Jill? 480 00:23:42,248 --> 00:23:44,418 Jill Wheadon? 481 00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:46,113 I'm one of the outed six too. 482 00:23:46,114 --> 00:23:47,914 "Outed six"? 483 00:23:47,909 --> 00:23:49,149 What? 484 00:23:49,151 --> 00:23:50,391 Oh, you mean you haven't... 485 00:23:50,394 --> 00:23:52,814 Oh, okay. 486 00:23:56,711 --> 00:23:58,711 What the...? 487 00:23:58,713 --> 00:23:59,823 "Radiogate"? 488 00:23:59,817 --> 00:24:02,647 Are you kidding me, that stupid interview? 489 00:24:02,648 --> 00:24:04,648 How is this front page news? 490 00:24:04,650 --> 00:24:06,240 Welcome to Thurlbury. 491 00:24:06,237 --> 00:24:08,997 If it's any consolation, it is quite a good picture. 492 00:24:10,518 --> 00:24:12,448 Not surprised, it was taken about seven years ago. 493 00:24:12,451 --> 00:24:13,801 Yeah, well, 494 00:24:13,797 --> 00:24:15,347 mine was taking about a stone and a half ago 495 00:24:15,350 --> 00:24:17,150 so I guess we've both been lucky on that front. 496 00:24:17,145 --> 00:24:19,105 Well, this certainly explains all the funny looks 497 00:24:19,112 --> 00:24:20,422 I've been getting. 498 00:24:22,357 --> 00:24:23,947 Thanks, I guess. 499 00:24:25,464 --> 00:24:27,984 Actually, um... 500 00:24:27,983 --> 00:24:29,713 I'm a teacher at the local primary school 501 00:24:29,709 --> 00:24:31,749 and I was wondering if you might-- oh God, I mean... 502 00:24:31,746 --> 00:24:33,816 say no if you like, but, uh... 503 00:24:33,817 --> 00:24:36,787 would you be up for coming in some time, 504 00:24:36,785 --> 00:24:40,475 giving the kids a little talk about writing and that? 505 00:24:40,479 --> 00:24:42,099 I'm sure they'd love it. 506 00:24:42,101 --> 00:24:44,521 I'm not exactly J.K. Rowling, you know? 507 00:24:44,517 --> 00:24:45,897 I doubt any of them have even heard of me. 508 00:24:45,898 --> 00:24:49,828 Oh, uh, yeah, I think they have. 509 00:24:49,833 --> 00:24:50,733 Fair point. 510 00:24:50,730 --> 00:24:53,080 All right, sure, why not? 511 00:24:58,773 --> 00:25:03,403 I suppose us "outed six" need to stick together, right? 512 00:25:03,398 --> 00:25:05,228 Right. 513 00:25:12,649 --> 00:25:15,479 So hopefully you are now 514 00:25:15,479 --> 00:25:16,859 suitably reassured 515 00:25:16,860 --> 00:25:18,660 that you are definitely not suffering from a malady 516 00:25:18,655 --> 00:25:21,035 that's gone generally unreported amongst the populous 517 00:25:21,036 --> 00:25:23,756 since at least 1949. 518 00:25:28,147 --> 00:25:29,797 I've also got a sore throat. 519 00:25:29,804 --> 00:25:31,564 Yes, well, there's a lot of it going around. 520 00:25:31,564 --> 00:25:34,224 It usually clears up within 24 hours. 521 00:25:34,222 --> 00:25:37,572 But if it doesn't, I should probably come back, 522 00:25:37,570 --> 00:25:39,500 like tomorrow... 523 00:25:39,503 --> 00:25:42,063 possibly the next day... 524 00:25:42,057 --> 00:25:44,467 maybe even the day after that. 525 00:25:44,473 --> 00:25:46,343 Until it clears up. 526 00:25:50,272 --> 00:25:53,102 You have exactly five minutes. 527 00:25:53,103 --> 00:25:56,973 Carol, I am so, so sorry. 528 00:25:56,969 --> 00:25:58,659 You've already said that. I know, I know, 529 00:25:58,660 --> 00:26:00,460 but I need you to... 530 00:26:00,455 --> 00:26:01,725 I mean, 531 00:26:01,732 --> 00:26:04,942 yes, I could stand here and try to tell you 532 00:26:04,942 --> 00:26:07,192 that that stupid reporter got me drunk, 533 00:26:07,186 --> 00:26:09,396 and then he asked me lots of leading questions, 534 00:26:09,395 --> 00:26:10,805 and then he edited 535 00:26:10,810 --> 00:26:13,190 the whole thing together completely out of context! 536 00:26:13,192 --> 00:26:15,442 I could try and tell you that. 537 00:26:15,435 --> 00:26:16,535 You pretty much are. 538 00:26:16,540 --> 00:26:20,410 But I, I don't want to do that. 539 00:26:20,406 --> 00:26:22,506 Even though that is the whole truth, 540 00:26:22,511 --> 00:26:24,001 by the way. 541 00:26:23,996 --> 00:26:26,516 I don't want to do that, I want to... 542 00:26:26,515 --> 00:26:28,065 I want to make it right, 543 00:26:28,069 --> 00:26:31,559 I want to fix whatever issues I may have caused-- 544 00:26:31,555 --> 00:26:34,515 completely inadvertently-- 545 00:26:34,523 --> 00:26:36,703 between you and your husband-- honestly, Carol, 546 00:26:36,698 --> 00:26:39,248 that is all I care about. 547 00:26:43,843 --> 00:26:45,023 Um... 548 00:26:45,017 --> 00:26:48,117 Have I... caused issues? 549 00:26:49,538 --> 00:26:51,058 I'm sorry, Maggie, just to be clear, 550 00:26:51,057 --> 00:26:55,167 are you actually asking me whether your radio announcement, 551 00:26:55,165 --> 00:26:56,475 regarding my husband 552 00:26:56,476 --> 00:26:58,196 having a homosexual love affair behind my back, 553 00:26:58,202 --> 00:27:01,272 might possibly have caused a teeny tiny rift 554 00:27:01,274 --> 00:27:03,314 in our relationship? 555 00:27:03,311 --> 00:27:07,071 Well... sort of. 556 00:27:07,073 --> 00:27:10,043 But mainly how I can make it better. 557 00:27:16,600 --> 00:27:18,220 I'm a good listener, 558 00:27:18,222 --> 00:27:20,782 if that counts for anything? 559 00:27:20,777 --> 00:27:25,227 I mean, look, regardless of what I may or may not have said, 560 00:27:25,229 --> 00:27:26,509 edited, 561 00:27:26,506 --> 00:27:28,816 completely out of context, 562 00:27:28,819 --> 00:27:32,619 I do know that you and your husband 563 00:27:32,616 --> 00:27:35,406 obviously love each other very mu... 564 00:27:35,412 --> 00:27:37,352 Oh! You used to have a...? 565 00:27:37,345 --> 00:27:39,305 It's in the drawer. 566 00:27:40,728 --> 00:27:42,138 I put it away after every single patient that came in 567 00:27:42,143 --> 00:27:45,183 started looking at it and asking me questions. 568 00:27:45,180 --> 00:27:48,460 Or worse, looked at it 569 00:27:48,459 --> 00:27:49,809 and deliberately went out of the way 570 00:27:49,806 --> 00:27:51,006 notto ask me questions, 571 00:27:51,014 --> 00:27:54,334 just awkwardly sat there instead, 572 00:27:54,327 --> 00:27:58,187 giving me that awful, sad, sympathetic head tilt 573 00:27:58,193 --> 00:28:00,683 people always do. 574 00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:02,029 I hate that look. 575 00:28:02,025 --> 00:28:03,225 Mm... 576 00:28:04,821 --> 00:28:06,861 Would you like to know the truth, Maggie? 577 00:28:08,272 --> 00:28:09,342 Well, I... 578 00:28:09,342 --> 00:28:11,172 I think you deserve it. 579 00:28:11,172 --> 00:28:12,902 And when I say that 580 00:28:12,898 --> 00:28:16,658 I don't say it in a good way. 581 00:28:21,009 --> 00:28:22,599 I've gotta head out. 582 00:28:22,597 --> 00:28:25,837 In fact, I won't be back until closing. 583 00:28:25,842 --> 00:28:28,222 The brewery's got this thing with suppliers in, 584 00:28:28,223 --> 00:28:30,433 it's gonna go on late. 585 00:28:30,432 --> 00:28:32,882 Party, is it? Hope not. 586 00:28:32,883 --> 00:28:35,273 Look, are you gonna be all right to handle things here? 587 00:28:35,265 --> 00:28:36,605 Lock up and that? 588 00:28:36,611 --> 00:28:37,921 Double time? 589 00:28:37,923 --> 00:28:38,993 Triple. 590 00:28:41,892 --> 00:28:43,932 I'm kidding, kidding. 591 00:28:43,929 --> 00:28:45,449 Nah, of course I'll be all right. 592 00:28:45,447 --> 00:28:46,657 You get off. 593 00:28:46,655 --> 00:28:49,065 Appreciate it. 594 00:28:51,039 --> 00:28:52,139 Brian? 595 00:28:54,698 --> 00:28:56,908 You know nobody believes that rubbish, don't you? 596 00:28:58,737 --> 00:29:01,217 Okay, to put it another way, 597 00:29:01,222 --> 00:29:02,782 you know if they do 598 00:29:02,775 --> 00:29:05,875 then they're just as loony as she is. 599 00:29:09,092 --> 00:29:11,652 See you tomorrow. 600 00:29:17,963 --> 00:29:21,523 Yeah, something tickling you all? 601 00:29:21,518 --> 00:29:23,138 My mum said you married a frog-horn. 602 00:29:23,140 --> 00:29:28,150 I suspect she said "fog horn," actually, young Hayley. 603 00:29:28,145 --> 00:29:31,285 Actually, did I hear you got a gold star recently 604 00:29:31,286 --> 00:29:32,426 for your 12 times table? 605 00:29:32,425 --> 00:29:34,115 Yes, sir. 606 00:29:34,117 --> 00:29:35,357 Very good. 607 00:29:35,359 --> 00:29:37,739 Do you know, I used to teach your mother, 608 00:29:37,741 --> 00:29:39,051 and I remember she always had a lot of trouble 609 00:29:39,053 --> 00:29:40,403 with the old 12 times table. 610 00:29:40,399 --> 00:29:41,779 So why don't you 611 00:29:41,780 --> 00:29:45,200 get her to recite it tonight at tea time? 612 00:29:45,197 --> 00:29:46,407 Hey? 613 00:29:46,405 --> 00:29:48,365 Good girl. 614 00:29:50,133 --> 00:29:52,513 Jill. 615 00:29:55,966 --> 00:29:59,556 So... 616 00:29:59,556 --> 00:30:00,556 How is she? 617 00:30:00,557 --> 00:30:01,967 Roxanna? 618 00:30:01,972 --> 00:30:06,632 Upset, hurt, confused. 619 00:30:08,392 --> 00:30:10,052 Yeah... 620 00:30:10,049 --> 00:30:11,259 And you? 621 00:30:11,257 --> 00:30:15,877 So... no, no, stupid question, sorry. 622 00:30:15,883 --> 00:30:18,613 It's not your fault. 623 00:30:21,129 --> 00:30:27,099 I know she's texted you a dozen times... 624 00:30:27,101 --> 00:30:29,311 and I know you haven't replied yet. 625 00:30:29,310 --> 00:30:31,690 And I don't blame you. 626 00:30:31,691 --> 00:30:36,901 Um... Jill, it's breaking her heart. 627 00:30:36,904 --> 00:30:40,324 If you can just talk to her? 628 00:30:54,024 --> 00:30:55,444 His son? 629 00:30:55,439 --> 00:30:56,859 That's right, Maggie. 630 00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:58,925 That's who your friend of a friend 631 00:30:58,926 --> 00:31:01,716 saw him with, not his lover I'm afraid, 632 00:31:01,721 --> 00:31:03,791 just his son. 633 00:31:03,792 --> 00:31:05,692 You mean from a previous marriage? 634 00:31:05,691 --> 00:31:07,041 No, I mean from his current one. 635 00:31:08,797 --> 00:31:12,767 There never was another man, Maggie, but... 636 00:31:13,423 --> 00:31:15,603 there is another woman. 637 00:31:19,463 --> 00:31:21,023 We met at a pharmaceutical conference 638 00:31:21,017 --> 00:31:23,607 he was repping at. 639 00:31:23,605 --> 00:31:25,395 Started as an affair, 640 00:31:25,400 --> 00:31:26,470 of which I've had many, 641 00:31:26,470 --> 00:31:31,750 and then it became something else... 642 00:31:31,751 --> 00:31:33,061 something I'd always been looking for 643 00:31:33,063 --> 00:31:36,273 but never believed I could have... 644 00:31:36,273 --> 00:31:39,693 a family-free, child-free, completely committed, 645 00:31:39,690 --> 00:31:41,280 non-committed relationship. 646 00:31:43,039 --> 00:31:45,629 And marriage, of a sort. 647 00:31:47,008 --> 00:31:48,108 What...? 648 00:31:48,113 --> 00:31:49,603 I think the word you're currently 649 00:31:49,597 --> 00:31:52,767 clawing your brain for here, Maggie, is bigamy. 650 00:31:55,396 --> 00:31:56,916 Carefree, victimless, 651 00:31:56,915 --> 00:31:59,915 Monday to Friday bigamy. 652 00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,328 Not in the legal sense, of course, 653 00:32:01,333 --> 00:32:03,823 he was never actually my husband, 654 00:32:03,818 --> 00:32:08,028 but move a ring one finger down and, uh... 655 00:32:08,029 --> 00:32:09,759 people stop asking questions. 656 00:32:11,791 --> 00:32:14,141 Of course, that's all over now, isn't it? 657 00:32:14,139 --> 00:32:19,489 Your... edited, out of context interview has seen to that. 658 00:32:20,904 --> 00:32:22,184 He chose me. 659 00:32:23,838 --> 00:32:26,428 And now I've got everything I never wanted, 660 00:32:26,427 --> 00:32:30,847 just him and me forever and ever, 661 00:32:30,845 --> 00:32:35,705 till nervous breakdown do us part. 662 00:32:37,231 --> 00:32:39,231 Oh, that's some hot gossip for you, isn't it? 663 00:32:39,233 --> 00:32:43,003 Juicier than any you got your 15 minutes of fame over. 664 00:32:42,995 --> 00:32:45,925 Will I be seeing it on Loose Womentomorrow afternoon? 665 00:32:45,929 --> 00:32:47,139 I don't... 666 00:32:47,137 --> 00:32:49,997 I, I won't tell a soul. 667 00:32:50,002 --> 00:32:52,662 Oh, I know you won't. 668 00:32:52,660 --> 00:32:55,530 And it's going to absolutely kill you, isn't it? 669 00:32:58,769 --> 00:33:02,669 Well... I think that's our time up. 670 00:33:33,839 --> 00:33:35,909 Uh... Christopher, isn't it? 671 00:33:35,910 --> 00:33:37,260 Is your mum home? 672 00:33:42,641 --> 00:33:45,711 Hello. 673 00:33:49,406 --> 00:33:51,546 So, what she actually say then, Mum? 674 00:33:51,546 --> 00:33:53,126 Nothing. 675 00:33:53,134 --> 00:33:54,764 Well, she can't have just sat there in silence, 676 00:33:54,756 --> 00:33:57,996 she must've said something? 677 00:33:58,001 --> 00:34:00,001 Well, she told me I don't have trench foot. 678 00:34:00,003 --> 00:34:03,043 Oh well, there we go then, every cloud, eh? 679 00:34:03,041 --> 00:34:05,111 Uh... Maggie? 680 00:34:08,908 --> 00:34:10,148 Jill... 681 00:34:14,017 --> 00:34:15,637 Right, I think we should... 682 00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:18,299 Yeah, come on. Come on. 683 00:34:20,679 --> 00:34:22,059 Jill... 684 00:34:22,060 --> 00:34:25,550 Peter thought I should come and talk to you. 685 00:34:28,376 --> 00:34:30,756 I don't see the point myself, I mean what can you say? 686 00:34:30,758 --> 00:34:31,928 "I'm sorry"? 687 00:34:31,931 --> 00:34:34,761 Well... I am sorry. 688 00:34:34,762 --> 00:34:38,802 Yeah, yeah, I'm sure you are. 689 00:34:38,800 --> 00:34:40,700 After all... 690 00:34:40,699 --> 00:34:44,049 you've come out of this a lot worse than I have. 691 00:34:44,047 --> 00:34:46,257 Have you, uh... 692 00:34:46,256 --> 00:34:47,906 still got that notebook? 693 00:34:47,913 --> 00:34:49,333 All the stuff you were planning 694 00:34:49,328 --> 00:34:52,258 for Thurlbury's big anniversary celebrations? 695 00:34:52,262 --> 00:34:54,512 Uh... well, yes, I have, but... Good. 696 00:34:56,128 --> 00:34:58,438 I think it might be better if you give it to me. 697 00:35:00,408 --> 00:35:04,998 You don't really think that you can still do it, do you? 698 00:35:04,999 --> 00:35:06,969 Not now. 699 00:35:06,966 --> 00:35:09,276 Surely even you don't think that? 700 00:35:09,279 --> 00:35:12,969 But I'm Thurlbury's local historian. 701 00:35:12,972 --> 00:35:16,672 You run a gift shop, Maggie. 702 00:35:16,666 --> 00:35:18,456 You just run a gift shop. 703 00:35:25,847 --> 00:35:27,127 Can I have the notebook? 704 00:35:28,712 --> 00:35:29,962 Yeah. 705 00:35:39,792 --> 00:35:41,042 Thank you. 706 00:35:45,073 --> 00:35:47,593 I'll see myself out. 707 00:35:51,770 --> 00:35:53,320 Well... 708 00:35:53,323 --> 00:35:57,023 Well, that was pretty brutal. 709 00:35:57,016 --> 00:35:58,326 Mum? 710 00:35:58,328 --> 00:35:59,948 You okay? 711 00:35:59,950 --> 00:36:01,850 No. 712 00:36:01,849 --> 00:36:04,129 No, I'm not okay. 713 00:36:04,127 --> 00:36:06,747 Pissed off is what I am. 714 00:36:06,750 --> 00:36:10,620 I'm pig bloody sick of it, all of it! 715 00:36:10,616 --> 00:36:12,996 I did nothing wrong! 716 00:36:12,998 --> 00:36:14,898 Well, all right, yes, technically 717 00:36:14,896 --> 00:36:16,586 I did do something wrong, 718 00:36:16,588 --> 00:36:17,928 but I'm not the one who 719 00:36:17,934 --> 00:36:19,454 stuck it on the radio. 720 00:36:19,453 --> 00:36:22,253 I didn't twittle about it on the internet! 721 00:36:22,249 --> 00:36:25,599 I didn't splash it all over the newspaper! 722 00:36:25,597 --> 00:36:27,907 I'm not gonna be made to feel like a pariah 723 00:36:27,909 --> 00:36:29,739 in my own village. 724 00:36:29,739 --> 00:36:31,329 In fact, do you know what we're going to do? 725 00:36:31,327 --> 00:36:33,117 We're going to go out there, all of us, 726 00:36:33,121 --> 00:36:35,231 we are going to walk to the pub 727 00:36:35,227 --> 00:36:36,677 with our heads held high, 728 00:36:36,677 --> 00:36:38,327 we're going in there, we're gonna sit down, 729 00:36:38,334 --> 00:36:41,374 we're gonna have a drink as a family, just like normal! 730 00:36:41,371 --> 00:36:43,201 What do you mean like normal? 731 00:36:43,201 --> 00:36:45,411 We have literally never done that ever. 732 00:36:45,410 --> 00:36:48,000 Well, maybe it's high time we did. 733 00:36:51,243 --> 00:36:52,593 Yeah. 734 00:37:01,115 --> 00:37:02,935 I think you're probably going to have to spend 735 00:37:02,944 --> 00:37:05,954 the next 40 years of your life trying to make it up to her. 736 00:37:05,947 --> 00:37:11,467 And at least a quarter of that sleeping in the spare bedroom. 737 00:37:11,470 --> 00:37:14,990 But we've both agreed that's where your home is. 738 00:37:14,991 --> 00:37:16,681 She's waiting for you now. 739 00:37:16,682 --> 00:37:18,622 And us? 740 00:37:18,615 --> 00:37:23,995 Alan... you know that this would never work. 741 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:25,590 You know that this was 742 00:37:25,588 --> 00:37:27,208 never the deal. 743 00:37:27,210 --> 00:37:29,110 You love me, 744 00:37:29,108 --> 00:37:30,588 I love you, 745 00:37:30,593 --> 00:37:33,423 you love her, that was what worked. 746 00:37:39,498 --> 00:37:43,298 But everyone thinks I'm the victim here. 747 00:37:43,295 --> 00:37:46,465 That's not a role I can play. 748 00:37:46,471 --> 00:37:48,511 No more than I can play the role you need 749 00:37:48,507 --> 00:37:51,407 in your life from here on out. 750 00:37:51,407 --> 00:37:53,367 We both know that. 751 00:38:29,203 --> 00:38:32,483 Is it just me or does it feel like somewhere a piano player 752 00:38:32,482 --> 00:38:33,832 just abruptly stopped playing? 753 00:38:38,695 --> 00:38:41,485 Okay, uh, if you, you get them in? 754 00:38:41,491 --> 00:38:42,561 Yeah. 755 00:38:42,561 --> 00:38:43,941 And I'll just find a table. 756 00:38:43,942 --> 00:38:45,912 This one's free. The one right in the middle? 757 00:38:45,909 --> 00:38:48,499 Yes, the one right in the middle, yes. 758 00:38:54,746 --> 00:38:56,366 All right, sir? 759 00:38:56,368 --> 00:38:58,438 Oh, Liam, you got a job? 760 00:38:58,439 --> 00:39:01,579 No, uh, girlfriend asked us to give her a hand 761 00:39:01,580 --> 00:39:04,170 while the boss man's away on business. 762 00:39:04,169 --> 00:39:05,689 Actually, after what I've been reading 763 00:39:05,688 --> 00:39:08,448 it's, it's lucky for you that he is. 764 00:39:08,449 --> 00:39:10,139 Oh, you can read now, can you? 765 00:39:10,140 --> 00:39:13,450 Oh, well done, I know you'd master it eventually. What? 766 00:39:13,454 --> 00:39:15,284 Two and a half pints of Thurlbury 767 00:39:15,283 --> 00:39:18,323 and a rum and coke, please. 768 00:39:40,999 --> 00:39:43,279 It's perfect. 769 00:39:47,177 --> 00:39:49,897 Oh I... I dunno, Neil. 770 00:39:49,904 --> 00:39:51,534 the... the numbers look wrong, it's a different like thingy-- 771 00:39:51,527 --> 00:39:52,697 like font? What? 772 00:39:52,700 --> 00:39:54,460 Nobody's gonna notice that. 773 00:39:54,461 --> 00:39:58,571 It's basically just for show, the hard part is over. 774 00:39:58,568 --> 00:40:02,398 She might not know it, but Maggie Cole's seen to that. 775 00:40:04,609 --> 00:40:07,029 Can't be a lie if everyone already believes it now, can it? 776 00:40:16,897 --> 00:40:19,277 Well at least everyone's stopped staring now. 777 00:40:20,590 --> 00:40:23,320 Well, most of them have. 778 00:40:23,317 --> 00:40:25,107 Well, those two have. 779 00:40:25,112 --> 00:40:26,532 Actually... 780 00:40:26,527 --> 00:40:28,177 Mum, I think they're German tourists. 781 00:40:28,184 --> 00:40:32,364 Let them stare as well if they want, who cares, you know? 782 00:40:33,672 --> 00:40:35,402 So it was the right move. 783 00:40:35,398 --> 00:40:37,368 Yeah, it really was, Mum. 784 00:40:38,608 --> 00:40:41,818 Oh yeah, it's not awkward at all. 785 00:40:46,789 --> 00:40:48,619 What? I said it wasn't awkward. 786 00:40:50,275 --> 00:40:52,035 Oh, God. 787 00:40:52,035 --> 00:40:53,685 What's she doing in the pub? She's a doctor. 788 00:40:53,692 --> 00:40:56,942 It's fine. 789 00:40:56,937 --> 00:40:58,657 I doubt she'll even wanna... 790 00:40:58,663 --> 00:40:59,733 And here she comes. 791 00:40:59,733 --> 00:41:01,803 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 792 00:41:01,804 --> 00:41:03,154 Maggie? 793 00:41:03,150 --> 00:41:05,670 Carol. 794 00:41:05,670 --> 00:41:09,980 I just want you to know that everything you said was true. 795 00:41:09,984 --> 00:41:12,304 I don't... I got the whole story 796 00:41:12,297 --> 00:41:14,607 out of him tonight. 797 00:41:14,610 --> 00:41:18,860 He was living a lie and he made me a part of it. 798 00:41:20,547 --> 00:41:22,237 So he's gone. 799 00:41:22,238 --> 00:41:24,648 Oh, um... 800 00:41:24,654 --> 00:41:26,484 Now, don't get me wrong, you had no right 801 00:41:26,484 --> 00:41:28,834 to discuss my life in public like that. 802 00:41:28,831 --> 00:41:30,631 No right. 803 00:41:33,007 --> 00:41:34,147 But... 804 00:41:34,146 --> 00:41:36,736 if you hadn't, then... 805 00:41:36,735 --> 00:41:40,945 I suppose I never would've found out the truth. 806 00:41:40,946 --> 00:41:45,016 So, as far as I'm concerned, that's the end of it. 807 00:41:56,444 --> 00:41:58,654 How's your sore throat? 808 00:41:58,654 --> 00:42:03,284 Oh uh... yes, lovely, thank... better, much better. 809 00:42:03,279 --> 00:42:05,939 Glad to hear it. 810 00:42:15,015 --> 00:42:19,805 Well, that, that was nice, wasn't it? 811 00:42:19,813 --> 00:42:21,443 Now I bet you're glad 812 00:42:21,435 --> 00:42:24,815 you came, aren't you? 813 00:42:24,818 --> 00:42:28,238 So the doc's fella really was doing the dirty on her then, eh? 814 00:42:28,235 --> 00:42:30,685 Apparently. 815 00:42:30,686 --> 00:42:32,096 Kind of makes you wonder 816 00:42:32,101 --> 00:42:34,691 what else she was right about, don't it? 817 00:42:34,690 --> 00:42:36,070 No! 818 00:42:36,070 --> 00:42:37,690 It doesn't. 819 00:42:39,764 --> 00:42:41,664 Oh... 820 00:43:53,734 --> 00:43:55,604 Hey, come on, 821 00:43:55,598 --> 00:43:57,808 baby steps, just like you said. 822 00:43:57,807 --> 00:44:01,217 One down, five to go. 823 00:44:01,224 --> 00:44:02,544 And let's be honest here, 824 00:44:02,536 --> 00:44:05,436 she was probably always gonna be the hardest one. 825 00:44:05,435 --> 00:44:07,015 Probably, yeah. 826 00:44:08,438 --> 00:44:10,818 I'm gonna go on up. 827 00:44:10,820 --> 00:44:12,060 Okay. 828 00:44:53,035 --> 00:44:54,515 I am so sorry, Kelly, 829 00:44:54,519 --> 00:44:56,309 I really am. 830 00:44:56,314 --> 00:44:57,904 I mean there was a woman called me yesterday 831 00:44:57,902 --> 00:44:59,902 from The Daily Mirror. Daily Mirror? 832 00:44:59,904 --> 00:45:03,604 What exactly did they ask about our family? 833 00:45:03,597 --> 00:45:05,117 What's to ask? What's to tell? 834 00:45:05,116 --> 00:45:08,216 No skeletons in our closet, thank you very much. 835 00:45:08,222 --> 00:45:11,292 I've managed to arrange for Marcus Ormansby to come in. 836 00:45:11,294 --> 00:45:13,504 You do know his books are all violence, murder, and death? 837 00:45:13,503 --> 00:45:15,643 Come on, let's get out of here before she insists on giving you 838 00:45:15,643 --> 00:45:17,473 a full cavity search too. 839 00:45:17,473 --> 00:45:19,513 Disgusting! 840 00:45:19,509 --> 00:45:21,929 I've got your money. Do you not think 841 00:45:21,926 --> 00:45:23,886 it's a little bit too late for all that? 842 00:45:23,893 --> 00:45:25,173 Maggie, what is it? What's wrong? 843 00:45:25,170 --> 00:45:27,550 Everything is wonderful, most amazing news! 844 00:45:27,552 --> 00:45:30,312 Text me, yeah? 845 00:45:30,313 --> 00:45:33,353 You mean-- you and Marcus? 846 00:45:33,351 --> 00:45:34,661 What am I gonna find there? 847 00:45:34,662 --> 00:45:36,252 A gun. 848 00:45:36,250 --> 00:45:38,010 It's gotta be drugs, hasn't it? 849 00:45:38,011 --> 00:45:39,601 Some kind of drop off. 850 00:45:39,598 --> 00:45:40,628 We have to call the police. 851 00:45:41,428 --> 00:45:42,738 Do we?