[wind howling, thunder rumbling]
♪
[rain falling heavily]
♪
[bell sounding hour]
[tires and brakes screeching]
♪
[gun fires]
[sirens blaring]
♪
["Karma Chameleon" playing on radio]
[singing with radio]: ♪ You come and go
♪ You come and go...
[turns up volume]: ♪ Karma, karma, karma, karma, karma chameleon ♪
♪ You come and go
[singing more hesitantly]: ♪ Loving would be easy
♪ If your colors... like my dreams... ♪
[Peter groaning]
Oh, saints preserve us! Down, not off.
Yes. Down! Not off!
[music volume lowers]
Today deserves a soundtrack.
Yeah, why does it always have to be the same soundtrack?
Because when you married me, you also married
the single greatest decade
in music history.
You knew about it at the time.
It's too late now.
Coffee's ready.
[sniffs]: What are you doing?
MAGGIE: Writing letters.
Sharing our baby news the old-fashioned way.
Mm. Don't trust the internet anymore.
Who is that?
W. Carson? MAGGIE: Mm.
Carson-- is that Wendy Carson? MAGGIE: Mm.
You haven't spoken to her in, like, 20 years.
Not true.
She sends me a round robin letter
every single Christmas,
telling me all about her wonderful grandchildren.
Well, now, it's my turn.
Well, I'm sure she's not trying
to score victory points over you or anything.
[guffaws]
[sighs]: You lot really are a different species, aren't you?
Venus and Mars, mate.
Venus and Mars.
You wouldn't have any stamps on you, would you?
Oh, um...
[mutters]: Great.
and this time just to get stamps.
Ostracized by my own village shop.
You don't know you're ostracized. Oh, please.
Has she said anything to you?
Roxanna? No.
Has Jill?
No, Maggie, they don't talk about it.
Not to me, anyway-- why would they?
Oh, I don't know.
Hey, come on!
We're gonna be grandparents.
Today is a good day.
With your bloody awful soundtrack.
Hey, careful.
Right, so there's still a couple of bridges to mend,
the odd fire to put out, but so what?
You know, mend them and put them out tomorrow.
I think you should have one day off
to think about the best thing that's happened to us
in 28 years.
Don't you?
Yes, I do. Mm.
In fact, I tell you what,
I'm not even going to think
about the big village anniversary
planning meeting that's happening tonight.
[sighs] You know, the one you were hoping
I'd forgotten about?
Yeah, hoping, inwardly praying.
You're not seriously thinking about going back...
No-- no, I'm not.
Good.
Would it be
inappropriate to ask them to pay for their own postage?
Very.
So, who is that?
G. Douglas?
Um, our old next-door neighbor.
The one that made me chop down the plum tree?
Yeah.
Okay, right--
make him pay for his.
All right.
[chuckling]: Steady on.
[on radio]: ♪ You come and go
♪ You come and go...
ROXANNA: I'm off, Dad.
I'll see you later. EMIL: See you later.
Dear me, you couldn't make it up, could you?
Some of the stuff they print these days.
Oh.
But I'm sure they do.
How is Roxanne, anyway?
"Ah."
You what? It's Roxanna.
Oh, yes, I was thinking of the song,
the one about the prostitute.
♪
LIAM: All right? Heya.
SYDNEY: Poor Roxy.
I hope your brother's looking out for her. How am I supposed to know
what my brother's doing or not doing?
And anyway, stop changing the subject.
Subject's over-- he owns a gun, big whoop.
Means nothing, proves nothing.
Reality check, Liam, this is Thurlbury,
and the most exciting thing that is ever, ever
gonna happen to you here is me.
And honestly, I've got absolutely no idea
how you even managed that. Yeah, you do.
I'm fit as.
[car door shuts]
♪
They checked in yesterday, B and B.
They're a couple of developers, okay?
LIAM: Pfft, developers.
Yeah, yeah.
They look like developers.
You're an idiot.
Fit as idiot.
Lucky for you, eh?
See you tonight. See you in a bit.
[engine starting]
♪
[school bell ringing]
Morning, Karen.
Morning.
Oh, what's this, then?
Do you have a secret admirer?
No, I do not.
They're for Jill, from that Marcus Ormansby. Really? Mm.
Yes, really, and I don't know
what he's playing at, sending them here.
This is a primary school. Hm, good point.
Have them destroyed in a controlled explosion.
Can't be too careful. Oh!
Um, someone called for you this morning.
A journalist?
And what did they...
I don't know, but I told them to never,
never call again. Thank you, Karen.
Thank you.
I don't know what I'd do without you.
[sighs] [door squeaks shut]
♪
BECKA: Oh, God, I told you this would happen now,
didn't I? I said.
Where is it? Where's what?
The tracking device she must've planted on me during dinner.
Hi, Mum. Hey!
What are you two doing here?
We've been shoplifting. Oh.
Well, since you are here, actually...
[seat belt unfastens]
You wouldn't bob in there
and grab me a book of stamps, would you?
It's just,
I'm double-parked. No, you're not.
Aren't I? Do you know,
I don't think I've ever understood
what double-parking is. [laughs]
Six will do.
First-class, please.
Oh, for God's sake.
Do you want us to buy you a packet of fags
and a bottle of White Lightning, too?
Look, blame this on the tiny microscopic
beginnings of life firing off hormones inside me
and making me all... gi' emoshie.
That's all, understood?
You made a mistake a couple of weeks ago
and you've been making it right ever since,
and you've been doing it well,
really well.
You can walk into a shop and buy some stamps.
Thanks, Becka.
Hormones, tiny life, emoshie, I just said.
Come on.
I'll call you tonight, Mum. Yeah.
Bye.
JAMIE: That was really nice. BECKA: No, it wasn't.
I just want to get home, that's all.
You're being nice.
[laughing]: Shut your face!
[clears throat softly]
That's six pounds 40, please.
[cash register beeping, receipt dispensing]
[receipt dispensing, coins clinking]
♪
[Maggie gasps]
EMIL: Thank you.
WOMAN: Thank you.
[Maggie clears throat]
Hello.
Book of stamps, please.
How's Roxy? Is she...
Well, I mean, of course, she's, um...
I did go into the school the other day,
and I tried to see her,
but she was, you know...
I am going to speak with her, Emil.
I'm not saying that I can make it right,
and I don't blame her for...
But it wasn't how it sounded, it really wasn't.
The context of the whole thing was just...
[grunts]
I mean, yes, I know that I really should be
saying all of this to her and not to you.
I do know that, I do, and I will.
Six, first-class? [clears throat]
With you in a moment, Mrs. Evans,
Maggie here is just telling me
how she's going to talk to my daughter,
explain how it was all out of context.
You know, all those things she said about...
The only Polish girl in Thurlbury.
Polish girl?
You don't...
Oh, you don't think that...
Oh, my God, no, Emil, no, I swear.
Look, I know everything that I've done wrong,
and I own it, all of it,
but that is not true.
That one is actually not true, because I would never, never...
What's a Thurlbrian, Maggie? Hm?
Well, come on, you're always saying it-- what is it?
[stammering]: Well, it's, it's a...
A sort of nickname for someone who's born
in the village.
It's not a racist thing.
I would never mean...
I mean, Mrs. Evans, you're not a Thurlbrian.
There, you see, and, and she's English.
I'm Welsh.
Well, yeah, but you know what I mean.
Not really, no.
And are you gonna be much longer?
EMIL: No, she's not, Mrs. Evans.
Because we're all out of stamps.
♪
[muttering]: All right.
♪
[cell phone rings]
Hello?
Yeah, I'm good, thanks-- how are you?
Did I get what?
Uh...
Just give me two secs.
[children talking in background]
Karen, has there been a...
Yeah, I've got them now, they're absolutely lovely.
Thank you. [chuckling]
Of course I don't think it's cliched.
[chuckles]
Karen says hi, by the way.
Karen, the secretary?
[chuckling]: Yeah, that's the one.
MARCUS [on phone]: I was wondering if you were
doing anything around, sort of, tonight?
JILL: Such as?
I was thinking food?
Um, I imagine at some stage
I will be eating food, yes.
Right, do you wanna have some here?
JILL: I'm sure
that I could have food there, yes.
Are you gonna cook for me, then?
MARCUS: Well, actually, I'm planning
on ordering a takeaway, hiding the packaging,
and then pretending I cooked it.
But if you could politely go along with the pretense,
that would be great.
Oh, God, hang on, I forgot.
I've got this thing tonight.
Oh, well, don't worry, some other time.
Oh, no, no, no, it's fine, it's only...
6:00 till 7:00.
It's this Thurlbury planning thingy
I've got at the Village Hall.
You should come-- it'll be fun.
Will it? No!
But I could do with all the moral support I can get;
I'm not great with public speaking.
You must be, you're a teacher.
JILL: Yeah, but you don't tend
to get a lot of awkward silences
with eight-year-olds, and if you do,
they usually fill them by blowing raspberries.
[laughs, phone beeps]
[clears throat]: I've got a call waiting, but yes, that's fine.
I'll see you there, 6:00.
I'll pick up the takeaway on the way back.
[whispering]: And I'll pretend not to look.
Appreciate it.
Bye. MARCUS: See you there.
[sighs]
[ringtone plays]
Hello.
It is, yes, who's this?
Oh, for...
If this is about the sodding interview,
look, I don't base my characters on anyone.
I make them up, all right?
Has this story not played out already?
What?
Who?
No, I can't.
I don't know anything about the woman.
I've met her, like, three times in my life.
Sorry, which paper did you say you're from?
[call disconnects]
Hello?
[clicks tongue]
[sighs]
[Buster barks]
♪
[clock ticking]
[clock dings]
Yes.
[ringtone playing]
Hey, how's it going?
MAGGIE [on phone]: I'm sorry to ring, I am.
I said to myself, "I'm not going to bother you with this,
not when you're at work."
But then I said to myself,
"I can ring at lunchtime, that is okay."
So I have waited till exactly...
[school bell rings]
Oh, I must be a bit fast.
PETER: Wait, what? What?
Maggie, is something wrong?
Yeah, something's wrong, I'm very upset.
I bit the bullet, Peter.
I went into the shop and I tried to buy stamps,
and now everybody thinks that I'm a racist.
What the hell kind of stamps did you ask for?
MAGGIE: It was Emil, he, he implied
that the only reason I said those things
about Roxanna is because...
[whispering]: Because she's Polish.
[softly]: Why are you whispering?
MAGGIE: Because I'm very upset.
And because it's the worst possible thing
you could say about a person.
That they're Polish? No!
That they're racist!
[stammering]: Did he actually say that, though?
MAGGIE: No, but, well, obviously he thinks it-- they all do.
They've been thinking it for two whole weeks now.
They're, they're there now, still thinking it.
I mean, what am I supposed to do?
How am I supposed to apologize for this one?
I mean, it's not even true!
I voted no to Brexit.
I was very extremely vocal about it.
I had a badge, I had a bumper sticker.
I can conjugate plurals in French.
Bijou, caillou, chou, genou,
hibou, joujou, pou.
It's just crossed wires or something.
That's all, you know?
We'll sort it, same as everything else.
We'll, we'll sort it, okay?
Okay, I'm, I'm sorry
I bothered you-- sorry.
No, don't be silly.
It's fine.
We'll talk about it tonight, okay?
It'll be all right.
Mm, yeah, I love you.
I love you, too.
[places receiver in cradle]
♪
[bike bell rings]
What's happened?
What do you mean?
Why are you home? What's happened? It's Thursday.
My half-day, same as it's been every Thursday
for the past ten months?
Right, I know it.
Are you okay?
Yeah, Maggie Cole was in earlier.
Was she?
Oh, God, what have you done now?
[gulls calling]
I'm on nan-visiting duty again.
[sighs]
Yeah? I tell you what, why don't we swap?
You go down the boat yard and do some manual labor
for once in your life,
and I'll go and drink tea with our nan.
Hey, Alex, how come you haven't
spoken to your girlfriend since the whole paper thing?
Even though you told Mum that you have?
I've been busy.
Aww, your little sailor friends been taking the piss, have they?
Yeah, they have, about the fact my little brother's
a drugged-up, work-shy waste of space.
Is that right?
Well, you tell 'em from me
they got nothing to worry about there,
'cause I've got plans.
Oh, you got plans, have you?
Yeah, I have.
[sighs]
Hand these out
at your little gambling meetings, do they?
It must help-- I mean, you've been clean for years now.
I mean, I know you have,
because you told Mum that, too.
JENNY: Liam! Are you ready?
There you are.
Come on, we've got to get going.
Ah, well, enjoy your manual labor.
You all right, Alex? Yeah, I'm fine, Mum.
Oh!
[engine churns, seagulls cry]
[engine stops]
NEIL: All right, Alex?
Just picking up my final check.
As if you need it.
Congratulations, by the way.
Cheers, yeah. How's Roxy?
We've got her Josh-sitting this weekend.
Me and Kelly are off to Blackpool for our anniversary.
Blackpool.
You win a million quid and you're going to Blackpool?
It wasn't a million-- just under 100 grand, really.
Shouldn't believe everything you read in the papers, mate.
Apparently, everyone in the village
has stopped buying tickets now.
Thinks us winning has stacked the odds against them.
Well... Odds don't work that way.
[rubber band snaps]
No?
Plus, you'd be surprised
how fast you can burn through money.
Probably be begging for my job back
in a couple of weeks.
♪
ALEX: I had it.
Did ya?
Some, someone took it.
Did they?
I'm telling you the truth.
Look, I'll sort it, just...
Just give me a couple of more days.
♪
24 hours.
NEIL: Anyway...
See you around, mate.
[phone beeps]
[people talking indistinctly in video]
[car revving]
♪
[phone rings]
Thurlbury Historic...
Keep. MAN [on phone]: Oh, hello.
I was wondering, do you allow dogs there?
I mean, I've got this miniature schnauzer, and...
Can I call you back?
Hi, Maggie, are you busy?
[phone ringing]
[Roxanna sighs]
Do, do you need to get that? [ringing continues]
No, it's just that man
with his miniature schnauzer again.
His what?
Oh, don't worry about it.
He'll give up in a sec. [ringing stops]
There, see?
There's biscuits. I'm fine.
I've heard the news, of course-- congratulations.
Sorry? Oh, God, yes!
Thank you, yes, thanks.
Jill told me.
She also said you were at school the other day
looking for me.
Yes, I was hoping to be able
to talk to you after, you know...
And I went to the shop this morning, to...
[sighs]: I know.
Well,
I'm here now.
Yeah, um...
I just keep saying the same thing to everybody,
to all of you, that it was out of context.
I mean, I've said it so many times,
it's become a mantra.
But really, it's just an excuse,
because how could it sound any better,
even in context?
Well, you tell me, what was the context?
Uh... me... tipsy...
Showing off... Probably not then, no.
No. But then,
that wasn't the context, was it?
No, the context was you repeating what you'd heard.
You think I hadn't heard it, too?
You think I haven't heard it all my life?
Ever since I turned, what, 14, 15?
Admittedly never on the radio before.
That was certainly a new one.
Admittedly never on the radio before.
were the same looks I got the day before it.
A small community, isn't it?
Rumors start when you're too young
and too insecure to stop them,
then that's it-- you live with them.
Did you believe them,
or were you just saying them because they were there?
I don't know.
Honest-- thank you.
Roxanna... No, no, no, I mean it.
Well, for the record,
I've only ever had two boyfriends.
Two?
[exhales] Sorry, I didn't mean...
I wasn't saying that in surprise.
No, actually, I was saying that in surprise,
because, I mean, have you ever seen you?
[chuckles]: No, I haven't. Oh, I've...
I've said the wrong thing again, haven't I?
That's okay.
You haven't broadcast it this time.
Have you?
I wish.
I wish could broadcast all of these apologies.
Or at least my rubbish attempts at them.
[chuckles]: Roxanna,
you do know that none of this
was because...
Because you're... Because I'm...
[whispering]: Polish.
[whispering]: Oh, that.
♪
[gulls crying]
[people talking in background]
They're staying another night-- I've updated the register.
Right.
What do they actually develop, these developers?
I don't know.
They don't seem to be doing much of it,
whatever it is.
[phone ringing]
Conqueror.
That's right.
He is, yeah.
Who's calling, please?
Right.
Well, in that case,
do you mind if I give you a quote myself you can use?
Piss off.
[ends call]
Mum.
♪
PETER: "The werewolf stepped towards him,
"its huge, muscular hairy legs
looking faintly ridiculous..." [whispering]: Miss!
"...beneath the bright blue stockings."
Can I have one? "'What's wrong, Jonathan?'
the werewolf suddenly said..." Balloon?
[continues reading] No, no, they're for the anniversary celebrations
this weekend, but...
"Ghost..." JILL: As long as you come,
I'll make sure you get one, okay, Emma?
Right.
3C, would you all
like to tell Miss Wheadon
what we listen with during story time?
STUDENTS: Our ears.
And what don't we listen with?
STUDENTS: Our mouths.
We don't listen with our mouths, Miss Wheadon.
Sorry, Mr. Cole.
Sorry, 3C.
[students laugh]
ROXANNA: That wasn't aimed at you this morning,
by the way, what my dad said.
Well, obviously, it was,
but it's a lot more generalized than you think, if that helps.
He's always had
this bee in his bonnet about us being viewed as outsiders here,
and every now and then, that bee gets out
and stings someone.
Well, why would he ever think that?
Everyone loves Emil.
I don't think I've ever heard a bad word said against him.
Really? Yeah.
Then maybe he's got a point.
You see, don't get me wrong, I love him to bits,
but he is a right miserable old sod.
He's blunt, opinionated, bad-tempered, tight with money,
sarcastic-- and I don't mean behind closed doors, either.
I mean openly,
from behind the counter to customers,
and you've never heard a bad word said against him?
No. And what does that tell you?
Dad always talks about how welcome everyone made us feel
when we first moved here.
The problem for him is,
that was 12 years ago-- they're still doing it.
Do you know how many people
we had coming in the day after the referendum?
Sympathetically telling him how sorry they were,
and how they voted no.
Well I-- I voted no, obviously, I mean, I'm not trying...
He voted yes! What?
Oh, it gets worse.
He votes Tory, too. But he...
See how easy it is?
Yeah.
I've lived with rumors all my life.
He's lived with this.
And you poor sods have to live with both of us.
I am so sorry, Roxanna.
I know.
And, to be honest,
I didn't come here for that.
I came here because of what Dad said to you--
not to apologize for it,
but maybe to try and explain it.
Put it into context, as it were.
Well, thank you.
Me and Alex used to come here
when we first started seeing each other. Did you?
I don't remember ever seeing you here.
Well, we came in the evening.
But it's not open to the public in the evening.
Oh, right.
I must be thinking of somewhere else.
Ah.
Did you eat Hula Hoops?
Because I used to find loads of empty packets everywhere.
I suppose I should let that slide, under the circumstances.
Probably. Right.
You know I did get one thing out of all this, don't you?
I found out how little I must matter to him. What do you mean?
I mean, he hasn't even been in touch with me once
since this whole thing started. Oh, Roxanna.
That whole family has had a hard time of it lately.
I'm sure he's...
It takes two seconds to send a text.
Even that would've done it.
Just a text.
Now, every time this thing beeps,
I jump thinking it might be him,
but it never is.
Well, I'm waiting for the same thing myself.
Not from Alex, you understand.
You've got nothing to worry about there.
Who, then?
Jill.
I hurt my best friend, and for what?
To impress some twit of a reporter
and feel important for half an hour?
[sniffs]
I love her and I miss her.
And whether I deserve it or not,
just to hear one beep on my phone
and see her name come up on that screen
would be, you know...
Right, then.
You've made all the effort to come up here,
the least I can do is run you home.
Hope you like Duran Duran.
Never heard of them. What?
Must be one of those...
[assumes Polish accent]: British bands.
Oh, you, honestly. [laughs]
[car stereo playing loudly]
[engine and stereo stop, bell tolling in background]
Where are you going? In there with you.
Thought I might ask for a job.
What?
You're always saying I need to get another job.
Yeah, pretty sure I never said "another,"
since flogging weed
never really qualified in my book.
Fills my wallet, don't it?
What? The one with your little name sewn on the front?
That was a present.
Anyway, look,
you can swing it with him-- you can get me in.
I will do anything, you know? No questions asked.
[snorts]
Come on, then.
At least it'll be funny, if nothing else.
Hey.
[sighing]: You all right?
All right, mate?
Hello.
My boyfriend was wondering if you had any jobs going.
Said he'd do anything.
No questions asked.
What?
LIAM: That's right.
Syd will vouch for us.
Yeah, I'm not gonna vouch for him.
I mean, I certainly wouldn't let him near the pumps.
Or the till, but, uh...
Didn't you say you were after a pot scrubber?
For the weekends?
Pot? Plates and glasses, Liam.
It's how I started.
Yeah, you were 14, and...
Oh, he's basically 14.
[sighs]
Fine.
Lunchtime, Saturday, Sunday.
[chuckles]: Yeah, all right.
[pulls out stool]
SYDNEY: Today's Thursday, Liam.
Yeah.
I know it is.
[breathes deeply, pushes stool in]
I'll pick you up later, then. Yep.
Have a good one. Mm-hmm.
Thanks for that, mate.
Cheers.
♪
NEIL: It wasn't a million.
Just under 100 grand, really.
♪
You shouldn't believe everything you read
in the papers, mate.
JENNY: Not one word of any of this is true.
You know that, don't you?
[Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" playing on car radio]
♪ Dark in the city, night is a wire ♪
♪ Steam in the subway, earth is afire ♪
[vocalizing]
Thanks. Are you coming in?
I wasn't planning on it, no.
I'm kind of gonna have to insist.
[song continues on stereo]
I'm really gonna need that bee back in his bonnet
by tonight, and I think you can help.
How?
By saying all the wrong things.
[car door shuts]
Hi, Dad.
Oh, hello, darling.
Oh.
Maggie has apologized,
and I have accepted.
Yes, I'd like to apologize to you, too, Emil.
I'm aware that I've hurt you
as much as her.
And I'm never gonna stop trying to make it up to you.
To both of you.
And there is something else that I'd like to say, too,
something that I should've said
a long, long time ago. Okay.
[clears throat]: Your biscuits are twice the price
they are in Sainsbury's.
And it's not as if we don't all know
that you pay exactly the same for them wholesale,
just as we all know fully well
that you always put a couple of barely in-date milk cartons
at the front of the fridge
in amongst all the fresh ones.
And, this morning,
I accidentally picked up a magazine
about serial killers.
I mean it's not as
as if I'm the tallest person in the world, is it?
So if I can reach that, then... Oh, you've sold it?
I mean, what are you doing, selling something
like that, anyway? Yeah, well, people like...
And another thing, have you ever thought
of service with a smile?
I mean, you know, try it, at least.
Speaking of which,
why have you still got that silly moustache?
Well, I'm growing it, innit, for charity.
You know, Movember.
In fact, it was you who made me do it.
Well, that was months ago.
Please shave it off immediately,
because it doesn't suit you at all.
[phone chimes and vibrates]
Is it...?
Yeah.
Excuse me.
Now, where were we?
Six first-class stamps, wasn't it?
Please.
Oh, we've only got 12.
Mm-hmm, and I suppose they're twice as expensive,
are they? I'm afraid so.
♪
PETER [sighs]: So it's all right, then?
All sorted?
MAGGIE: All sorted.
Should never have bothered you with it
at work, I'm sorry about that.
PETER: No, no, it's fine.
So I can actually
go back in the shop again now, can I?
Absolutely, just don't discuss politics.
Why? Actually, no.
Do discuss politics, he'd like that.
[Maggie's phone beeping]
And you know, we ought to head back now
if we're gonna make the planning meeting.
I thought you said we weren't going to that.
Well, I've changed my mind.
Today was a good day after all, just like you said.
So I think that we should go.
I mean, we're, we're not going to talk,
we're not going to ask questions.
We're just going to stand at the back
and show that we're okay, show that everything is okay.
And so when did you decide all this?
MAGGIE: Five minutes ago. [chuckles]
Hi, Jamie? It's Mum.
What? I thought you said you didn't wanna go.
[TV playing in background]
Mum's changed her mind.
Says she wants us to go to this Village Hall thing,
whole family.
Tell her I'm pregnant.
She knows you're pregnant.
Well, remind her.
Beck says to remind you that she's pregnant.
Well, she's not that pregnant.
She says to tell you that you're not that pregnant.
She said what?
Give, give, give it to me.
Give it to me, you go and unlock the car.
Jamie, it's your dad.
JAMIE: Hey, Dad.
So everything all right with you?
Yeah, why?
No, no, no, no reason.
Just checking, asking.
Are you okay?
Yeah, yeah-- no, no,
I'm fine, fine.
Right, listen, Jamie-- about tonight...
[slowly]: Right.
Mm.
Dad says he thinks that we should go tonight,
says Mum's in a particularly good mood.
Apparently she just found out she's not racist.
Wow, there's not much you can say
to that, is there? Not really.
We'll see you there.
♪
Um, I thought you said we were in a hurry.
Uh-huh. Don't wanna end up making a big entrance, you said.
Yeah, we are, and I don't.
Still gotta look nice, though, haven't I?
Mm, I also thought you said
that we'd sit at the back where nobody would see us.
Well, yes, but somebody might see us driving along,
or in the car park,
and I am doing this for you, Peter.
We're going to be out in public,
and I know how much you like to be seen out
with a dolly bird on your arm.
A dolly bird?
What, are you saying I'm not a dolly bird?
I, I don't know how to answer that question.
Yes, you are a dolly bird?
That is the right answer.
Today, anyway.
Obviously, on any other day,
it would be sexist and demeaning
and rather icky. Yeah, obviously.
I mean, look, maybe I do
want to look good.
After everything that's happened,
maybe I do want people to see me and think,
"Well, she looks well and happy,"
because I am well and happy.
You know the winds are changing, Peter, at last.
Look, there's Kelly, and Carol,
and Roxanna have forgiven me,
and I'm not a racist,
and I'm going to be a grandma, and I'm allowed
back in the shop! [laughs]
I mean, obviously, the grandmother one
is the most important of those, that should've been
at the end of the list. No, it's okay, I know what you mean.
Things do seem to be looking up.
Exactly.
Right, well...
I'll leave you to it, then.
Presuming you're gonna change into a suit and tie.
Suit and tie?
I don't even wear a suit and tie to work
half the... [groans]
You...
You really are feeling a lot better,
aren't you?
Yes, I really am.
[shudders softly]
♪
[people talking in background]
[muttering]: Jesus, it's like The Wicker Man.
Hi.
Hey.
Oh! Sorry, were you going in for a kiss then?
Well, sort of.
Just a hello peck sort of thing.
Don't worry.
Sorry-- do it now, if you want.
Um...
No, it's okay-- hello.
Hello.
So, are you okay?
What are you actually going to do?
Is it like a speech or...?
Oh, no, no, it's more of an open Q and A and suggestions,
most of which I'll write down and then ignore.
Kind of been arranging things
these last couple of days, anyway, in secret.
Oh, that's nice.
Did you let the kids decorate that for you?
[sighs]: Oh, no, no, this is...
Maggie's.
Oh-- she's not coming, is she?
I highly doubt it.
Oh, some journalist called me earlier
asking if I had any stories about her.
Yeah, me, too.
Well, that makes sense-- you've probably got loads.
Mm, yeah, one or two.
Hey, you're not really nervous, are you?
No.
Well, yeah. [laughs softly]
A little tip:
Just imagine the audience naked.
Great, thanks for that.
Sorry, I'm not doing very well here, am I?
No, not really.
But in a funny kind of way,
that makes me feel better, too.
Well, good. I'm pleased my inherent
social awkwardness helps put yours in perspective a bit.
And I think I will have that kiss now, please.
Mm.
You're gonna be fine.
Start with a joke, end on a song.
Never heard me sing, have you?
No, although I have heard some of your jokes,
and you know what?
Scratch that advice, too. Go on.
Grab a seat in the mosh pit, let's get this over with.
All right?
♪
[phone ringing]
[ringing continues]
Hi.
Hi, Rox.
So, I've been...
I've been at work all day,
else I would've phoned, not texted, but...
I miss you, too.
But this phone call's been a long time in coming.
I know, I know.
I'm sorry, I just...
This last week's just been...
I've had a lot on my mind.
You've had a lot on yourmind?
Are you there?
Yeah, yeah.
You sound weird-- has something happened?
It's just family stuff.
I'll, I'll explain it to you, I will.
I'll tell you everything, I just...
Roxy, I wanna see you.
I wanna make it up to you.
I was thinking maybe tomorrow night,
we could... Yeah.
Well, I can't tomorrow.
It's Neil and Kelly's anniversary this weekend.
I'm staying round there, taking care of Josh.
Maybe I could come over, bring a pizza
and a kid-friendly DVD, and keep you company.
Please, please, Roxy, just give me a chance.
I'm gonna have to check they're okay with it.
Is that a yes?
It's a maybe.
♪
I like those odds.
You're that writer.
Uh, yes.
You write them books?
I do, yes.
Never read 'em-- not my thing.
You know who I like?
That Martina Cole.
And that, um, Stephen King.
Do you know him?
Yes, actually.
We all live together.
What?
JILL: Um, hello-- hi, everyone!
Thank you for coming,
and welcome to the, um, I guess, delayed meet
for the anniversary celebrations
this weekend. [laptop beeps]
[devices beeping in hall]
Um... [clears throat]
I suppose I should just start
by giving you the rundown... [phones beeping]
on what's already planned, and, uh... [crowd murmuring]
Then we can take it from there.
[murmuring grows louder]
Um, yeah...
[crowd talking]
[anxiously]: Excuse me? Hello?
MAGGIE: Looks busy.
Sounds busy.
[phone ringing] PETER: Yeah, oh, hang on.
Hang on
It's Karen.
Karen?
What's she doing ringing you out of hours?
Well, I don't know, do I?
I have to answer it first. Oh, yeah.
Should I answer it?
No, please don't answer it.
In fact, can you put it on silent?
We don't want it ringing in there.
[ringing stops]
We're listening with our ears,
not our mouths... [crowd murmuring]
Sorry, teacher humor there. [chuckles]
No, seriously, though, everyone, I don't have a microphone here,
so if, if you...
[crowd murmuring]
[device chimes, woman gasps]
[crowd murmuring]
You don't have to go.
Oh, don't be silly, of course we're going.
[crowd murmuring]
I told you, we're going to stand at the back.
Nobody will even know we're there. [phone buzzing]
You're vibrating.
Yeah, well, I'm nervous.
[murmuring continues]
[crowd falls silent]
No, don't, don't mind us, we're just here...
♪
But that...
This is...
None of this is true.
The whole thing, this is completely, the...
Peter, tell them.
I think we should go.
[crowd murmuring]
I'm sorry, I didn't mean to...
Peter? Peter!
Sorry we're late.
BECKA: Oh, yeah, I do hope we haven't missed anything.
That would be awful...
What's wrong?
Mum, you all right?
MAGGIE: Jamie...
Is it-- it's not true, is it?
It's not true...
Dad?
♪
[sighs]
♪
And all this time,
you and him with this secret between you.
This is Maggie we're talking about.
Trust me, those apron strings
are made of steel cable.
And I should know, I've been trying
to saw through them for years.
I'm going to go away.
Where are you going?
I'm going to go away.
But apparently, there's a vegetable lasagna
in the fridge, so...
I could get us fish and chips.
You should be able to eat what you want
when you want.
The truth is, I'm not the person you think I am at all.
ALEX: I suppose they've got it all secretly stashed away,
have they? Locked up inside a special safe
hidden behind a painting.
Kelly, Alex is here.
He says that money you found, he says it was his.
JOSH: Mummy? Josh?
Where is my money, Kelly?
♪