1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:05,080 This programme contains strong language and adult humour. 2 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,280 {\an1}THEY SCREAM 3 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,360 {\an1}- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Hello! 4 00:00:34,400 --> 00:00:36,520 Hello, I am Greg Davies. 5 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:40,200 Welcome everybody to the Taskmaster New Year's Treat. 6 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:45,240 - And, I suppose, the grand final. - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 7 00:00:45,280 --> 00:00:47,680 Last episode, they rolled the dice, 8 00:00:47,720 --> 00:00:48,920 they grappled with bears, 9 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,360 and completed an inspiring marathon, 10 00:00:51,400 --> 00:00:54,920 but crucially, all of them have ruined their credibility 11 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:57,080 in their chosen field of work. 12 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,680 They're almost certainly going to have to sell their houses 13 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:01,920 and take their families to live in the woods. 14 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,880 Why would they carry on for a second episode? 15 00:01:04,920 --> 00:01:07,160 "Mummy, there's nothing left to eat!" 16 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:11,600 "But look at the eyebrow trophy, child, look what mummy won! 17 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,640 "My victory is your meal!" 18 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,040 - That's why. - HE LAUGHS 19 00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:20,880 So, for the second and final time, please welcome 20 00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:24,560 - the phenomenal Big Zuu... - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 21 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,760 {\an1}- ..Jill Scott... - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 22 00:01:27,800 --> 00:01:30,360 {\an1}- ..Sam Ryder... - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 23 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:32,720 {\an1}- ..Susie Dent... - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 24 00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,920 ..and Rose Ayling-Ellis. 25 00:01:37,160 --> 00:01:38,600 And, next to me, 26 00:01:38,640 --> 00:01:42,040 a man who says he likes his women like he likes his coffee - 27 00:01:42,080 --> 00:01:45,040 not able to drive, vote, or answer back. 28 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,640 - It's little Alex Horne! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 29 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,640 Hello, everyone. 30 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,360 Hello. Hello women. 31 00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:56,120 I'm so excited, Greg. So excited about the show, 32 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,720 so excited we're gonna spend Saturday together, finally. 33 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:02,000 Um, I didn't know we were, but I'm very, very happy to. 34 00:02:02,040 --> 00:02:03,360 But what are we going to do for the day? 35 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,360 Well, you can choose Greg. You can choose this or that, 36 00:02:05,400 --> 00:02:07,320 We're gonna do this or that. First of all, how will we spend the day, 37 00:02:07,360 --> 00:02:09,200 - This or that? - That. - That? 38 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:10,720 Oh, we're gonna go shopping! We're gonna go shopping 39 00:02:10,760 --> 00:02:12,360 instead of the... We could've gone to the aquarium. 40 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:13,680 OK, and we're gonna drink...? 41 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:14,880 What are we gonna drink? This or that? 42 00:02:16,120 --> 00:02:18,160 - This. - This? Oh, cocktails. 43 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,280 - Ooh... - Ooh... 44 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:21,760 Right, OK. And what are we gonna do in the evening 45 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:24,040 after the drinks? This or that? 46 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:25,120 That. 47 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,760 That? Oh, we're going to the theatre! What will we see? 48 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:28,960 - It's exciting. - Ooh! 49 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,320 Then, where will we go? There we go, this or that? 50 00:02:33,680 --> 00:02:35,000 - Only two left. - That. - That? 51 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:36,480 Oh, we're going back to yours, Greg. 52 00:02:37,920 --> 00:02:39,920 - Oh, and fair play it is getting more interesting. - Could've gone... 53 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:41,560 - Could've gone back to mine. - Yeah. 54 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:43,640 And where shall we sleep? 55 00:02:47,640 --> 00:02:49,240 Ho-ho-ho-ho! 56 00:02:49,280 --> 00:02:50,520 - That. - That? 57 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:51,640 It's...bunk beds. 58 00:02:51,680 --> 00:02:54,120 Always bunk beds, always bunk beds. 59 00:02:54,160 --> 00:02:55,560 Gotta be bunk beds. 60 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:57,240 {\an1}Yeah? It's all right? APPLAUSE 61 00:02:58,920 --> 00:03:01,080 OK, it's time for the prize task. 62 00:03:01,120 --> 00:03:03,240 What are we going to learn about them today, Alex? 63 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,880 Well, Greg, I think we're gonna learn a LOT, 64 00:03:04,920 --> 00:03:07,800 because they've each brought in the most exotic thing 65 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,480 from their actual home. Yes. 66 00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:11,960 {\an1}- Ooh. - AUDIENCE OOHS 67 00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,760 I know. Earlier on, I asked Greg, 68 00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:16,040 "Hey do you want to know the most exotic thing from my home?" 69 00:03:16,080 --> 00:03:17,520 and he said "No." 70 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:19,440 So let's see what these guys have brought in. 71 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:21,320 Five points for the most exotic thing, 72 00:03:21,360 --> 00:03:23,360 five exotic things for the episode winner. 73 00:03:23,400 --> 00:03:25,040 And also, it's all great fun, isn't it? 74 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,320 Oh, it's loads of fun. 75 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:27,800 Who shall I start with? Sam Ryder. 76 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:29,880 - Oh, shit. - Whoo! 77 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:33,800 I've brought a jumpsuit that I wore, 78 00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,320 to sing at Eurovision. 79 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,240 {\an1}Here it is. AUDIENCE GASP 80 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,520 Where was the final? Was it in an exotic country? 81 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:41,960 Turin. In a business park. 82 00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,280 Oh, wow! 83 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,960 Ooh! 84 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,920 The mysteries of the business park! 85 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,040 It is from his actual home, 86 00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,560 but it's also been in a museum, cos it's made... 87 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,200 Well, it's like your bed - it's black denim 88 00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:54,680 with 15,000 beads, pearls, and glass crystals. 89 00:03:54,720 --> 00:03:56,680 - Wow. - What a coincidence! 90 00:03:57,960 --> 00:03:59,160 Sam, it's a strong opener. 91 00:03:59,200 --> 00:04:01,280 Maybe the last episode won't define you. 92 00:04:01,320 --> 00:04:03,760 OK. Rose? 93 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:07,240 Well, it's my... It's an actual thing, it's my magnet collection. 94 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:09,800 - Yes, she's got a magnet collection. - From different countries. 95 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,040 - I don't think things are looking good for Rose. - No. 96 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,360 Look, look, look - have a look. 97 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:15,640 I've got quite a lot! 98 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:17,840 But, I thought maybe you might like one of them - 99 00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:22,320 which I think is the most exotic of all - which is the lady from Spain. 100 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:25,360 The lady from Spain. Ooh! 101 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:30,880 You think that I can be won over by a large breasted magnet, do you? 102 00:04:32,240 --> 00:04:34,480 Well, it's, uh... Yeah, I'm sorry. 103 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:35,840 I'm really sorry. I let you down. 104 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:40,240 Sorry. Anyway I know I'll probably get, like, 105 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:42,320 maybe two points. I think that, maybe. 106 00:04:44,600 --> 00:04:46,000 Sorry Sam, I'll get one point. 107 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:47,080 We don't know that. 108 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:49,200 All the people who are left are more than capable 109 00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,720 of bringing something worse in - you know that. 110 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,840 Now, Big Zuu let me answer a question before I ask it. 111 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:56,320 The answer is yes. 112 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:57,720 Can you beat the fridge magnets? 113 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:01,240 You know, I didn't see the exotic part. 114 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:02,920 You didn't see the exotic part, 115 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:06,680 so you just think the task is to bring in something from your home? 116 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:08,040 Yeah! 117 00:05:08,080 --> 00:05:11,600 I have brought my incredibly massive television. 118 00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:15,280 Yes! 119 00:05:16,640 --> 00:05:18,840 No, no! Wait, wait! 120 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,800 - She's back in the game. - LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 121 00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:23,160 - It's a big telly. There we go. - Let's go. 122 00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,000 It's not a joke. 123 00:05:25,040 --> 00:05:26,680 85 inches. 124 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,040 - 85-inch telly, bro! - Yeah. 125 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:31,040 You told me you were getting a new one, 126 00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:33,560 - so you just wanted... - Whoa, whoa! 127 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,120 ..to get rid of it! 128 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:38,720 - You've got our production crew? to get rid of your old telly. - No! 129 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:40,240 - That's what's happened. - No... 130 00:05:40,280 --> 00:05:42,840 No! Do any of you have an 85-inch in your house? 131 00:05:42,880 --> 00:05:44,800 Well, that is a very personal question. 132 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:47,680 Knowing you, yeah. 133 00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,640 I would've bet my life those magnets were coming last. 134 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,560 I would've bet my life on it. 135 00:05:53,600 --> 00:05:55,000 Jill? 136 00:05:55,040 --> 00:05:57,120 I did compete in a jungle TV programme, 137 00:05:57,160 --> 00:06:00,160 so I've actually brought in my hat from the jungle. 138 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,480 HE WHISTLES It is signed by Boy George, 139 00:06:03,520 --> 00:06:05,920 - Matt Hancock, so... - Oh. 140 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:08,600 {\an1}- CROSSTALK - What? - Oh, wow. 141 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:11,240 {\an1}CROSSTALK 142 00:06:11,280 --> 00:06:14,760 - I mean it was already exotic, but for it to be signed... - Matt Hancock! 143 00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:18,080 - Yeah. - ..by the former Health Secretary... 144 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:22,920 - ..in the Conservative Party. - Whoa! 145 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:24,800 Oh, it's pretty exotic though, come on. 146 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:26,520 One of my magnets is from a jungle! 147 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:27,880 Yeah, good. 148 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:29,840 And I watched I'm A Celeb on that telly! 149 00:06:33,200 --> 00:06:34,640 Susie the heat's on. 150 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,800 I haven't watched the jungle from this, 151 00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:39,440 but I have brought in a loo seat. 152 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,680 ..which is quite exotic, it's covered in gold leaf. 153 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,960 - Also, this is Susie Dent's actual toilet seat. - Yes. 154 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,280 - Have a look. Have a look at this, Greg. - Ooh! 155 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:51,480 {\an1}- CONTESTANTS EXCLAIM - She's a beauty. 156 00:06:51,520 --> 00:06:52,720 Where did you buy it? 157 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,400 - I had it made. - Exotic. 158 00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:57,840 Oh, why did you ask her that question? 159 00:06:57,880 --> 00:06:59,560 One of my favourite words is bumpf. 160 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:00,840 You know, bumpf. 161 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:03,160 And that is bum fodder - short for bum fodder - 162 00:07:03,200 --> 00:07:05,560 - which is loo paper. So it's... - Bum fodder? 163 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:06,720 Yeah, bum fodder, which is... 164 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,840 Is it the idea that you're feeding the bum? 165 00:07:08,880 --> 00:07:10,320 I guess so. 166 00:07:10,360 --> 00:07:12,080 I think it's a lovely exotic... 167 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:15,320 ..poo hole? 168 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:18,600 - Here we go, ready? - All right, the scoring? OK. 169 00:07:18,640 --> 00:07:21,640 - Yes - Big Zuu, one point. - Yes. 170 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:23,640 Obviously, the magnets, two points. 171 00:07:23,680 --> 00:07:25,200 I did say I was gonna get two points! 172 00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:29,000 - You did say that! - Yeah, yeah. 173 00:07:29,040 --> 00:07:31,520 I'm gonna give Susie's toilet seat, 174 00:07:31,560 --> 00:07:33,960 as much as I would like to sit on it, 175 00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,200 I'm gonna give it three points. 176 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:36,560 Three points. Ah, right. 177 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:38,480 I'll give Sam's four points. 178 00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,640 And the winner - she brought it from the jungle, it has to win, surely... 179 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:43,560 Five points to Jill Scott. 180 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,120 Let's move on, it's task time. What's first today? 181 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:48,920 Well, I'm afraid this one might divide people, 182 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,560 but in a really GOOD way. Hmm... 183 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,120 - Hello. - Hi, Rose. 184 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,200 {\an1}- HE CHUCKLES - He looks like he's in One Direction. 185 00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:13,240 I feel like the Venus di Milo in this chair. 186 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,360 Oh... 187 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:18,040 Oh, I thought that was actually through the table. 188 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,040 Is that the whole plan? 189 00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:21,080 It's clever, isn't it? 190 00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:23,520 Oh, it's half. 191 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:27,040 Oh, it's like a poem. 192 00:08:27,080 --> 00:08:29,560 "If in a really exciting way, 193 00:08:29,600 --> 00:08:31,880 "if split wins, 194 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,440 "if, 195 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,480 "if an hour, now." 196 00:08:35,520 --> 00:08:37,480 What do I do? I'm just gonna ask. 197 00:08:39,120 --> 00:08:40,320 Well, it's the same system - 198 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,680 you've gotta read out the task, do the task. 199 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,720 You didn't hide that very well. 200 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:52,160 Well, explain the thing then. 201 00:08:52,200 --> 00:08:55,200 What am I supposed to...? There are so many compartments here. 202 00:08:55,240 --> 00:08:56,280 Am I supposed to look for this letter? 203 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,320 Yeah, it's in this room. 204 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,720 {\an1}HE CHUCKLES 205 00:09:00,760 --> 00:09:03,720 Bro, what kind of...? What? This is like a mad escape room! 206 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,160 Am I warm? Come on, bro. 207 00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,200 Right. Um... 208 00:09:07,240 --> 00:09:08,760 All right, cool. So it's not in there. 209 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:09,800 No. 210 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:15,520 How did I...? Why didn't I do that straight away, bruv? 211 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:19,560 "Split something in half in a really exciting way." 212 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:23,480 "Most exciting half split wins." 213 00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,080 "You have half of half an hour." 214 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,520 "Which is 15 minutes." 215 00:09:27,560 --> 00:09:30,400 "Your time starts now!" 216 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:31,680 {\an1}HE EXCLAIMS 217 00:09:31,720 --> 00:09:33,560 - That didn't work. - Oh, I wish it had. 218 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,080 Have you split things in half before? 219 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,120 Um... 220 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:39,360 I can't... No, I don't think so. 221 00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:40,720 You've never split anything in half? 222 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:41,840 Yeah. Except, for some reason, 223 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:44,280 - I thought that my parents are still together. - They are, or they aren't? 224 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:46,120 - Yeah, yeah, yeah, so... - They are? Oh, that's a shame. 225 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,760 - Yeah, yeah. - Yeah. - I know. That would've been a good one. 226 00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:49,440 Well, I could split them... 227 00:09:49,480 --> 00:09:51,080 Maybe, sort of, pit them against each other now. 228 00:09:52,800 --> 00:09:54,040 I wrote it down as an option. 229 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,520 Well, Sam, this is a first. 230 00:09:59,560 --> 00:10:03,280 No-one has ever been happy to ruin their parents' relationship. 231 00:10:04,720 --> 00:10:06,560 You are sailing towards five points. 232 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:09,080 Who are we gonna see first? 233 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:13,960 OK. Well, what do you get if you take half of Jill and half of Sam? 234 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,280 Ji-Sum, I suppose. 235 00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:20,400 Honest to god. 236 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,200 The amount of times I get bollocked 237 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,560 for saying bad things, and that's on the autocue! 238 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:31,800 So, here's Ji-Sum! 239 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:34,960 I've gone big. 240 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,040 OK. 241 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,520 I'm gonna split myself in two. 242 00:10:40,120 --> 00:10:42,720 - Wow. - OK? - OK, I'm ready. 243 00:10:42,760 --> 00:10:44,040 - Ready? - Yeah. 244 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:52,680 {\an1}DRAMATIC CHANTING 245 00:10:56,280 --> 00:10:59,560 {\an1}DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC 246 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,440 Shit! 247 00:11:13,400 --> 00:11:16,400 {\an1}SHE PUFFS 248 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:20,360 - Wow. - I split myself in half. Literally. 249 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,160 That's very impressive. 250 00:11:23,200 --> 00:11:27,040 {\an1}- Oh, I think I just need to stretch. - SHE GROANS 251 00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:28,600 Still got it, haven't I? 252 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,560 {\an1}MOBILE VIBRATES 253 00:11:45,600 --> 00:11:48,400 Hey, Mum. Yeah, just quick, cos I'm on Taskmaster. 254 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,080 I think Dad is having an affair. 255 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,800 Yeah, I'm quite sure. All right, love you. 256 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:58,720 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 257 00:12:01,360 --> 00:12:03,280 Well, the first thing that struck me were the production values 258 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:06,200 on both of them were just Siegfried and Roy - 259 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,040 - it was Las Vegas, wasn't it? - Oh. - Absolutely incredible. 260 00:12:09,080 --> 00:12:11,680 - It really was, yeah. - And you were actually speaking to your mum? 261 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,520 - Yes. - Had you prewarned her? 262 00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,480 No. So I had to call her after. 263 00:12:17,240 --> 00:12:19,760 - That is spicy. That's lovely. - Yeah. 264 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,000 I'm a bit confused by yours, Jill, 265 00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,960 because clearly there was a false leg involved. 266 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,840 No, it wasn't real. 267 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,800 But it was creative, I split myself in two. 268 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:30,960 When you Google "Which celebs can do the splits?" you get... 269 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,160 cos there are some unlikely people - Daniel Radcliffe, 270 00:12:33,200 --> 00:12:36,680 Madonna, Ryan Gosling, David Suchet, Miley Cyrus - but also... 271 00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:39,720 ..Sam Ryder's name comes up. 272 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,600 - Not a chance. - Can you do it? - No. 273 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:42,640 I promise it comes up. 274 00:12:42,680 --> 00:12:44,760 Why am I not surprised Daniel Radcliffe's on the list? 275 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:46,480 I imagine that's how he watches telly. 276 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,000 OK, we're halfway through the first half of the show, 277 00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,360 during a task about cutting things in half. 278 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,000 And what does that mean? 279 00:12:55,040 --> 00:12:56,120 Ooh! 280 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:58,400 Greggy go poo-poo, and Alex wipe his bot-bot! 281 00:12:58,440 --> 00:13:01,400 Correct! But I've just eaten three punnets of dates - 282 00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:02,560 good luck! 283 00:13:02,600 --> 00:13:04,120 Goodbye. 284 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,840 Hello. 285 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:15,400 Welcome back to this exceptional New Year's Treat. 286 00:13:15,440 --> 00:13:17,720 Yes, the Christmas decorations have been put away 287 00:13:17,760 --> 00:13:20,480 and the shops have already got Easter eggs on their shelves - 288 00:13:20,520 --> 00:13:21,880 it's frigging ridiculous! 289 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:25,960 They're trying to cut things in half in the most exciting way. 290 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:29,760 Two more attempts, now - it's Big Zuu and Dent Sue. 291 00:13:31,320 --> 00:13:32,720 Have you gathered what I'm doing? 292 00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,080 - No. - Come on. 293 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:36,480 You're gonna split something in half? 294 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,280 I'm gonna be using the power of my voice. 295 00:13:39,320 --> 00:13:40,320 Yeah. 296 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:42,640 Are you not gonna react more? 297 00:13:42,680 --> 00:13:44,000 Wow! 298 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,240 Excited, bro. 299 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:47,520 Do you remember that, for a while - 300 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,120 I don't know if this is still the case - you were on 301 00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:52,040 a one man mission to introduce a new sense of honk 302 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:53,600 into the dictionary? 303 00:13:53,640 --> 00:13:55,040 So I've got something for you. 304 00:13:59,040 --> 00:14:00,440 Oh, this is awful to watch. 305 00:14:00,480 --> 00:14:01,920 It is horrible, and I'm so sorry. 306 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:07,360 OK, so your mission to introduce a special word into the dictionary 307 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:08,760 and, in here... 308 00:14:12,680 --> 00:14:14,920 "Honk, a noun meaning money." 309 00:14:14,960 --> 00:14:18,520 I can officially tell you that I am going to put this up 310 00:14:18,560 --> 00:14:21,760 for inclusion in the Oxford English Dictionary. 311 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,720 It may be the nerdiest task response that you've ever had... 312 00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,840 - Hmm. - ..but I thought you would enjoy it. 313 00:14:27,880 --> 00:14:30,360 - He's definitely split in half. - Definitely split in half. - Yeah. 314 00:14:31,520 --> 00:14:36,040 {\an1}HE VOCALISES 315 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:42,280 {\an1}HE BELLOWS 316 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:45,520 {\an1}HE SCREAMS 317 00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:53,000 Yeah! 318 00:15:00,760 --> 00:15:02,320 Yeah! 319 00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,320 Pineapple in the pineapple in the pineapple. 320 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:07,560 - Wicked. - Yeah, man. 321 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:10,520 I thought you'd be a bit more excited. 322 00:15:14,720 --> 00:15:16,640 Well, first things first, I thought that the performance - 323 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:17,800 obviously an illusion - 324 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,440 I don't know how you got that pineapple to split. Captivating. 325 00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,800 If I'd have been there, there'd have been tears in my eyes. 326 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,840 - Thank you. - Superb. 327 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,680 {\an1}- Now... - THEY CHUCKLE 328 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:30,240 I know what you're doing, it's very clever, 329 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,200 you were doing a Donald Trump, you were playing to your base. 330 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:33,920 - Yes. - The nerd army. 331 00:15:33,960 --> 00:15:35,800 People come to this show for two reasons - 332 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:37,720 for nerd-ery and for eye candy. 333 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,200 And you were right. 334 00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:41,520 You were right to play to the nerds. 335 00:15:41,560 --> 00:15:44,600 Yes. I panicked a little bit, and I just thought 336 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,800 I knew how much this meant to him, or so I thought. The... 337 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,960 Yeah, just to explain, a while ago, I tried to get a word 338 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,360 - in the dictionary and I wrote a book about it. - Yes. - Ah! 339 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,560 The word was honk. I tried to get the word honk as a slang word 340 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:55,920 for money in the dictionary and Susie knew about this attempt. 341 00:15:55,960 --> 00:15:58,760 And this was her appealing to me. 342 00:15:58,800 --> 00:16:00,800 Oh, well, this all makes sense! Cos whenever he starts talking about 343 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,800 - his books, I tune out. - You tune out. 344 00:16:04,560 --> 00:16:08,200 Anyway... But there's one other big reason why you need to consider me, 345 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:10,960 Greg, cos it's my birthday today. So please... 346 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:13,040 {\an1}- AUDIENCE GASPS - Oh, what? - Is it, Susie? 347 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:14,960 {\an1}- Happy birthday! - It is. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 348 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,880 - I didn't know! - No-one's ever played the birthday card before! 349 00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:22,200 Because I didn't realise how ruthless everyone else could be. 350 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:24,840 - Yeah. - Well, particularly this person on the end. - Yeah. 351 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,400 What, you're gonna win cos it's your birthday? That's not fair. 352 00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,680 But it's good Susie's talking herself up. 353 00:16:30,720 --> 00:16:32,280 - I'll think about it. - OK. - Who's next? 354 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:35,160 Finally, it is hello to Rose Ayling-Ellis 355 00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,120 and goodbye to little Alex Horne. 356 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,560 - Hello. - Hi, Rose. 357 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:41,200 I need you to change your name. 358 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,520 So you've got to change your name from Alex... 359 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:46,800 - Yeah, you keep saying that. - ..to... Your new name is Hannah. 360 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:49,800 It actually costs about £50 to change your name in the UK. 361 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,280 You're paying £50? 362 00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,680 No, you're paying £50. 363 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:54,680 - I'm paying £50? - Yeah. 364 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,680 It says, "I unquestionably surrender, abandon 365 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,520 "and relinquish the use of my former name of Alex Horne and affirm, 366 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,880 "adopt and assume to take and use from this date hereof 367 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:04,440 "the name of Hannah, in the presence of Rose Ayling-Ellis." 368 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:06,320 - That's you, isn't it? - That I'm your witness. 369 00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:07,960 Thank you. 370 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,880 {\an1}- Pay up. - CARD MACHINE BEEPS 371 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:12,440 Thank you very much. And there's your present. 372 00:17:12,480 --> 00:17:14,000 I got you a nice, new sticker. 373 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:20,360 I think it's so cool that when you split Hannah in half, 374 00:17:20,400 --> 00:17:22,880 it still has the same letter on both sides. 375 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:25,160 Han...Han, Han-nah. Yeah. 376 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:27,320 - Yeah, isn't that cool, that? - That's really cool, yeah. 377 00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:32,360 Erm, but in order to split you, I'm gonna have to saw you in half. 378 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,640 - Sorry? - Yeah, I'm gonna have to saw you in half. 379 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:41,560 Get my uniform off. 380 00:17:41,600 --> 00:17:45,560 - So, if you put your arm up. - Put my arms up? - Yeah, and I just... 381 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:51,080 I suppose so, yeah. Oh, you're actually doing it. Right. 382 00:17:54,200 --> 00:17:55,760 You're doing great, sweetheart. 383 00:17:55,800 --> 00:17:57,400 Ooh! 384 00:17:57,440 --> 00:17:59,400 - Are we done? - There, I think I'm done. 385 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:01,200 - Right, then. - Can I go? 386 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:02,360 Yeah, yeah. 387 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,200 Basically, you're split in half, then. 388 00:18:05,240 --> 00:18:06,880 Oh! 389 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:08,960 - Your legs are going. - Oh, no. Legs! 390 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000 - Nah. His name is Nah. - Nah! 391 00:18:11,040 --> 00:18:12,680 - Nah! - Nah! 392 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,200 Nah, come back. 393 00:18:14,240 --> 00:18:16,480 Your legs are going. 394 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:17,800 How'd you do that? 395 00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:21,840 That's not the plan. That was not my plan. 396 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,920 {\an1}Nah! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 397 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,080 It's good. I'll tell you why it's good. 398 00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:33,800 It's got both elements, hasn't it? 399 00:18:33,840 --> 00:18:35,880 It's got a bit of showbiz splitting, 400 00:18:35,920 --> 00:18:38,920 and it's got some nerdy splitting of the name as well. 401 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,440 With the whole Nah thing, I was bored senseless. 402 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:44,720 If we go to the bottom, 403 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:47,440 I don't know... Even though I liked the idea of getting words 404 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:51,680 into the dictionary, I don't know how exciting it was 405 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,040 watching you cut that duck in half. 406 00:18:55,280 --> 00:18:59,360 Were it not her birthday, that would be getting one point. 407 00:18:59,400 --> 00:19:00,480 Wow. 408 00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,800 Let's come back to it. 409 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:06,520 - The least exciting performance... - Mm-hm? 410 00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:08,680 - ..was Jill's. - Oh! 411 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,360 Because it was great idea, 412 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:12,640 but I just thought, in performative terms, you've only got to look at 413 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:15,920 the person who's up one from you - Zuu. 414 00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:18,560 Incredible performance. He split a pineapple, 415 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:20,200 but I'm putting Sam above him 416 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,720 because Sam split something boring 417 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,960 and then he tried to destroy his parents' marriage, 418 00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,360 which is more exciting. 419 00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:29,440 And I'm gonna give Rose five points. 420 00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:32,800 - But it's Susie Dent's birthday. - But it's Susie Dent's birthday. 421 00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,920 Oh, oh, oh! If we're gonna play cards... 422 00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:36,000 We're playing cards. 423 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:37,320 I'm deaf. 424 00:19:37,360 --> 00:19:40,640 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 425 00:19:40,680 --> 00:19:41,680 What I love about this is, 426 00:19:41,720 --> 00:19:44,280 I've already put Rose in first place. 427 00:19:44,320 --> 00:19:46,960 - And she's still playing the deaf card. - Yeah, come on! 428 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:51,520 - Does Susie's birthday... - Hmm. 429 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:55,080 ..make her duck more exciting than Jill's splits? 430 00:19:55,120 --> 00:19:57,440 - I've always wondered. - The answer is yes. 431 00:19:57,480 --> 00:20:00,280 It does. So Jill moves to last place. 432 00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:02,120 - Oh! - Because it's Susie's... - It's Susie's birthday. 433 00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,920 Oh, happy birthday. 434 00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,560 Just to summarise, because it's Susie Dent's birthday, 435 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:09,360 - Jill is being punished and losing a point. - Yeah. 436 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,560 - And Susie Dent is getting an extra point. - Yep. 437 00:20:12,600 --> 00:20:14,080 Rose wins five points. 438 00:20:14,120 --> 00:20:17,400 {\an1}APPLAUSE 439 00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:20,240 OK, shall we see a scoreboard, Alex, please? 440 00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:22,760 Yes, well, first of all, I'll tell you how this episode is going. 441 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:25,200 People like me at home will love the fact that it's four, five, 442 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,840 six, seven, eight, with Sam on the top. He's got eight points, 443 00:20:27,880 --> 00:20:31,560 {\an1}Well done, Sam. Yeah. APPLAUSE 444 00:20:31,600 --> 00:20:34,520 I can tell you how the total of these two episodes is going. 445 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,960 Please don't let Jill be one point off winning. 446 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,800 You've got bad news, I'm afraid, Greg. 447 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:47,360 Rose has 22 points, and one point behind... 448 00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:48,680 No way. 449 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,320 Jill is on... 450 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,680 Jill is on 21, and Sam's on 21 as well. 451 00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,480 OK, I'm gonna make this right, Jill. 452 00:20:56,520 --> 00:20:58,080 OK. 453 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,080 On we stride. what's next Alex? 454 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,360 Well, the first task was all about halves, 455 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,080 and the next one is all about doubles, 456 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:06,040 but we didn't realise that till just now, and that's because 457 00:21:06,080 --> 00:21:08,880 a lot of this show is good luck rather than good planning. 458 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:23,040 Ooh, we're back in the lab. 459 00:21:24,360 --> 00:21:25,640 Hi, Jill. 460 00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:29,080 {\an1}SHE SIGHS 461 00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:31,240 Ah... 462 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,720 Pallets, paint, balls, paintbrushes. 463 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:36,240 - May I? - Mm-hm. 464 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,720 I thought they would be stress balls. 465 00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:45,640 "Hold...a number of yellow balls in your hand." 466 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:48,520 "You have one minute, your time starts now." 467 00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:52,440 So, hold a number of yellow balls in your hand. 468 00:21:52,480 --> 00:21:55,520 "Hold as many as you can in your hand." How about that? 469 00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:56,720 That's interesting. 470 00:21:56,760 --> 00:21:58,920 - I'm going with eight. - OK. 471 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:00,560 - I'm gonna go four. - Four. 472 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,440 It's seven, eight, nine. 473 00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,720 - 18. - You've gone 18? 474 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:06,120 Yeah. 475 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:09,520 Can you help me, please? 476 00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:10,880 What do you want me to...? 477 00:22:10,920 --> 00:22:13,120 Can you stop dropping balls, please? 478 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:16,480 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS 479 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:18,440 - OK. - 12 balls. 480 00:22:18,480 --> 00:22:20,280 - There is a part two. - Oh, OK. 481 00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:24,240 - Do you want me to open it for you? - Yeah. 482 00:22:24,280 --> 00:22:28,400 "Paint two identical and flattering self-portraits." 483 00:22:28,440 --> 00:22:32,680 "You have as many minutes as there are yellow balls in your hands, 484 00:22:32,720 --> 00:22:35,280 "or until you drop a yellow ball." 485 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:37,480 "Or until you drop a yellow ball." 486 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:39,480 We haven't started yet. 487 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,080 That's good, then. I've got it. 488 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:43,960 "Also, you must paint on one canvas 489 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,000 "for no more than five seconds before painting on the other." 490 00:22:47,040 --> 00:22:48,800 OK, so it's a little switcheroo. 491 00:22:48,840 --> 00:22:52,120 "Best pair of identical flattering self-portraits wins." 492 00:22:52,160 --> 00:22:54,840 "Your time starts now." Thank you very much. 493 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:56,880 Why did I decide this? 494 00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:02,200 {\an1}LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 495 00:23:02,240 --> 00:23:04,080 This is not my episode. 496 00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:05,480 We've only known you for a short time, 497 00:23:05,520 --> 00:23:07,760 but they've come in and they've all got different approaches 498 00:23:07,800 --> 00:23:09,320 to seeing the task and assessing it. 499 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:11,880 Sam comes in and he generally lists everything he can see. 500 00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:15,240 Big Zuu walks in and laughs like a super villain. 501 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:17,880 And Susie, not to make you self-conscious, always responds 502 00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:21,720 in the same way, whenever she sees every task, like she's just heard 503 00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:27,040 the pilot say, "I'm afraid we've lost the second engine." 504 00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,120 Are you ready for a montage of them all, Greg? 505 00:23:29,160 --> 00:23:30,360 My God, yes. 506 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,960 Let's see them all arting in the lab. 507 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:36,320 - Happy with your nine minutes? - Yuh-huh. 508 00:23:38,760 --> 00:23:41,560 Three, four, five. 509 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:43,440 So the balls aren't hampering you too much? 510 00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:45,720 - No. - Good choice. 511 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:48,040 You look like you know what you're doing. 512 00:23:48,080 --> 00:23:49,360 I went to art college. 513 00:23:49,400 --> 00:23:50,760 Oh, wow. 514 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,320 Over you go. 515 00:23:57,360 --> 00:24:01,040 I mean, this is just gonna be as basic as you get. 516 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:02,280 Oh! 517 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:05,720 I may have dropped a ball. Do I carry on? 518 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,360 No, you've dropped the ball - that's the end of the task. 519 00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:08,760 {\an1}SHE LAUGHS 520 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:12,000 OK, well, that was plain and simple. 521 00:24:12,040 --> 00:24:13,280 Stop! 522 00:24:14,440 --> 00:24:16,240 No, no, no. 523 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:20,960 Three minutes. 524 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,320 Shouldn't have done that. 525 00:24:22,360 --> 00:24:23,920 Ooh, I shouldn't have done that. 526 00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:25,760 Look, she's got nice, strong arms. 527 00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:29,240 They're my arms, by the way, before you make any jokes. 528 00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:32,520 I'm not being funny, but I've seen some of the bullshit in the museums, 529 00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,280 and this is up there, I reckon. 530 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:35,720 - In the art museum? - Yeah. 531 00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:36,880 Gonna give myself a little tan. 532 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:39,040 Let's see if I can colour in all the places. 533 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:42,600 It's going well. 534 00:24:42,640 --> 00:24:44,200 {\an1}WHISTLE BLOWS 535 00:24:44,240 --> 00:24:46,560 {\an1}ALEX LAUGHS 536 00:24:46,600 --> 00:24:49,160 {\an1}- WHISTLE BLOWS - I'm not too dissatisfied with that. 537 00:24:49,200 --> 00:24:52,120 You have got 11 minutes left, but you don't have to use it all. 538 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:53,560 I've stopped the clock. 539 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:57,200 {\an1}APPLAUSE 540 00:24:57,240 --> 00:24:58,600 Oh, dear, Susie. 541 00:24:58,640 --> 00:24:59,920 {\an1}LAUGHTER 542 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:03,040 Why did I think that I had to hold balls in each hand? 543 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:06,120 I don't know. It's a question I've asked myself a thousand times. 544 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:07,600 {\an1}LAUGHTER 545 00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:09,680 We are going to have to wait till after the break to pass judgment. 546 00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,840 - Ah. - However, I want to show you one thing that happened 547 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:14,000 which we didn't include in the montage 548 00:25:14,040 --> 00:25:16,200 cos they were so serious. Have a look at this. 549 00:25:16,240 --> 00:25:17,840 Why did I decide this? 550 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,320 {\an1}AUDIENCE GROANS I've stopped the clock. 551 00:25:24,360 --> 00:25:29,240 {\an1}LAUGHTER Yeah, so this is what Big Zuu did 552 00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,040 before dropping the yellow ball. 553 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:37,920 I wish it was my birthday. 554 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:42,360 Ah, well it's time to stop for some adverts now. 555 00:25:42,400 --> 00:25:43,560 The January sales are on. 556 00:25:43,600 --> 00:25:46,000 Alex, have you got your eye on anything? 557 00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:47,400 Yeah, well, I thought I might have a look for... 558 00:25:47,440 --> 00:25:49,800 Get your teeth fixed! 559 00:25:49,840 --> 00:25:51,000 Oh! 560 00:25:51,040 --> 00:25:54,680 {\an1}See you after the break. APPLAUSE 561 00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:00,960 Hello. 562 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:05,440 Welcome back to the third part of this New Year's Treat final. 563 00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:08,560 Alex, I would love to see their self-portrait paintings, please. 564 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,880 Yes, I think it's time and remember, the best pair 565 00:26:10,920 --> 00:26:14,840 of identical, flattering portraits that wins. 566 00:26:14,880 --> 00:26:18,760 First, here is Rose's poses. 567 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:19,960 Have a look at this. 568 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,440 - Ooh! - Wow! - They're good. 569 00:26:22,480 --> 00:26:24,760 Imagine if she hadn't dropped a ball. 570 00:26:24,800 --> 00:26:28,440 It was horrible to walk away knowing I could do it better! 571 00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:29,800 Sorry, I, I was almost certain 572 00:26:29,840 --> 00:26:31,800 you were gonna play the deaf card again, no? 573 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,920 I'm deaf. 574 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:37,680 Oh, God. 575 00:26:37,720 --> 00:26:39,600 She doesn't have any eyes as well. 576 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,280 {\an1}LAUGHTER 577 00:26:43,520 --> 00:26:45,960 - And I can't smell. - No sense of smell! 578 00:26:47,880 --> 00:26:51,120 OK. Let's have a look at another ball-dropper. 579 00:26:51,160 --> 00:26:53,320 - It's Susie's muses. - All right. 580 00:26:58,360 --> 00:26:59,720 I like it. 581 00:26:59,760 --> 00:27:02,160 One is chiselled, one's got a double chin. 582 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:03,640 So flattering. 583 00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:05,560 They're not, you know, they're not too dissimilar. 584 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,640 - No. - To be fair, Susie was going through problems... 585 00:27:10,240 --> 00:27:12,200 I want to see another one, please. 586 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:15,480 Right. Well, here are Jill Scott's blots. 587 00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:18,360 {\an1}- Ooh! - APPLAUSE 588 00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:21,320 Thank you. 589 00:27:21,360 --> 00:27:25,280 - It is good! And they are pretty identical. - Yeah. 590 00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:27,000 And look how ripped she is! 591 00:27:27,040 --> 00:27:29,960 Yeah, and how runny one of their noses is. 592 00:27:32,680 --> 00:27:34,440 I do have hay fever. 593 00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,760 We're going to have a look at Sam's mano a mano now. 594 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:41,240 - Identical and flattering. - Oh, that's good. 595 00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,040 - That's good as well! - Really good. 596 00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:45,760 I look like a baked bean in the middle. 597 00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:50,000 I'm laughing at how we're saying these are good. 598 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:52,600 {\an1}They're actually really shit. LAUGHTER 599 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:54,320 Aren't they though? 600 00:27:54,360 --> 00:27:58,400 Yeah, maybe it's my low expectations, Jill. 601 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:00,160 Well, we have already seen Zuu's attempt, 602 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:02,600 but would you like to see what he did after? 603 00:28:02,640 --> 00:28:05,120 Yeah, but I have to say, he dropped the ball, so we're taking the blank 604 00:28:05,160 --> 00:28:07,760 - canvases. Unfortunately, we have to cos of the rules. - It's so unfair. 605 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:10,640 - But what if this one is really, really good, Greg? - OK. 606 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,480 Give me a chance. 607 00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,320 Why is your face... 608 00:28:17,360 --> 00:28:19,840 I'm mixed race. 609 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:21,520 I'm mixed race. You didn't have light skin paint. 610 00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:23,680 You can't just keep saying, "I'm mixed race,"... 611 00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,280 - I'm mixed race. - ..to justify this. - Yeah. 612 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:27,920 Why did you paint your nose green? 613 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:31,920 I would argue that, regardless of dropping the ball, 614 00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,080 Zuu's is the worst anyway. 615 00:28:35,360 --> 00:28:38,400 It's so true. I can't argue with that. 616 00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,280 OK. Well, here are all ten portraits. 617 00:28:40,320 --> 00:28:43,320 Unfortunately, Big Zuu has to come last 618 00:28:43,360 --> 00:28:45,160 for more than one reason. 619 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:50,240 And next worst is obviously Susie, two points. 620 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:52,560 On her birthday. Right. Two for Sue. 621 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:54,480 - I'm going to give Sam three points. - Yeah. 622 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:56,720 I'm giving Jill four points and you know why? 623 00:28:56,760 --> 00:28:59,440 - I, I think they're about the same level. - Yeah. 624 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,520 But I just really like muscles, so I'm giving you an... 625 00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:04,160 I'm giving you an extra point, Jill. 626 00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:05,960 Thank you. Thank you. 627 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,840 But I think the best piece of art 628 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,640 and the most flattering, I genuinely think it's Rose's. 629 00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:12,520 {\an1}- Oh, thank you! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 630 00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:17,760 All right. I'm afraid it's already time for 631 00:29:17,800 --> 00:29:20,280 the last of their pre-recorded tasks. 632 00:29:20,320 --> 00:29:22,640 Will you be sad to see them go, Alex? 633 00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:24,400 I'm going to say no, 634 00:29:24,440 --> 00:29:26,440 - because we're playing the opposites game. - Ooh! 635 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:28,040 Oh, God. 636 00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,720 Hello. I'm eating a grape, hope you don't mind. 637 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:46,800 What on earth is going on here? 638 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,120 It's a scroll. 639 00:29:48,160 --> 00:29:50,960 Hmm. Oh, I thought it was a rolling pin. OK. 640 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:52,880 Ah, OK. 641 00:29:52,920 --> 00:29:56,080 It's like National Treasure where you have to... 642 00:29:56,120 --> 00:29:59,720 {\an1}National Trust? HE LAUGHS 643 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,320 I just spat grape all... 644 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,240 That's an actual insane amount of grape. 645 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:10,120 "Complete the most instructions in the order they are presented. 646 00:30:10,160 --> 00:30:11,800 "You have five minutes. 647 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:17,080 "Your time starts when you open the instruction scroll." 648 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:18,960 - Yeah, we've started. - We've started? 649 00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:21,160 All about speed. Yeah, your time's starting now. 650 00:30:21,200 --> 00:30:22,320 Oh, no. 651 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:27,080 I think this is one of those tasks where you just 652 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:29,320 need to crack on and have a look at it. OK. 653 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:32,160 Let's see how Rose, Sam and Susie got on first. 654 00:30:33,640 --> 00:30:34,720 One. 655 00:30:36,640 --> 00:30:38,200 ..and keep going like this. 656 00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,520 Hello. My name is Rose. 657 00:30:40,560 --> 00:30:42,680 Whisper the alphabet backwards. 658 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:45,560 Z, Y... 659 00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:48,560 ..X. 660 00:30:52,040 --> 00:30:54,600 - That's cold, ice lolly. - Yeah, lovely. 661 00:30:54,640 --> 00:30:56,160 My hand it's actually really cold. 662 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,160 I mean, the grape I ate was pretty cold. 663 00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:00,840 It was chilled. So that was all part of the plan. 664 00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:05,560 I was the most popular person in the entire school. 665 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:06,720 I was never bullied. 666 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:09,680 I...was living in Jamaica. 667 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:12,960 Where's that? 668 00:31:15,040 --> 00:31:16,480 That is inside out. 669 00:31:21,880 --> 00:31:23,160 Oh, right in the face. 670 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:28,560 Ah! I fucking hate jigsaws. 671 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:29,640 Ah. 672 00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,000 Done. 673 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,560 - What's that? - It's not, it's not a big jigsaw. 674 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:39,560 It's not a big jigsaw but it's quite a confusing jigsaw. 675 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,600 Who does these for fun? 676 00:31:41,640 --> 00:31:43,040 {\an8}Can I move on to the next one? 677 00:31:43,080 --> 00:31:44,800 {\an8}- I think you might have to. - Oh, OK. Fine. 678 00:31:51,440 --> 00:31:53,000 Done. 679 00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:55,720 OK, 45 seconds. It's in. 680 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:57,200 You need the balloon now, don't you? 681 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:02,800 Thank you. 682 00:32:02,840 --> 00:32:04,360 Oh, bloody hell. I'm not licking that. 683 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:09,480 Clean. 684 00:32:10,680 --> 00:32:12,720 I don't have my phone with me. 685 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:14,760 Mum, Dad's not cheating on you. Love you. 686 00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,120 It's a knot. 687 00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:22,080 If you ever... 688 00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,440 Bastard! Um... 689 00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:28,880 And sit. 690 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:31,520 {\an1}WHISTLE OK. 691 00:32:31,560 --> 00:32:32,560 Sit. 692 00:32:33,560 --> 00:32:35,640 I'll take this away. 693 00:32:35,680 --> 00:32:38,280 Yeah, would you mind reading that one as well? 694 00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:39,320 OK. 695 00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:40,360 Part two. 696 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:43,560 "Do the, do the opposite 697 00:32:43,600 --> 00:32:45,800 "of those instructions in the opposite order. 698 00:32:45,840 --> 00:32:47,000 "You have five minutes! 699 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:49,240 "Most instructions completed backwards, wins. 700 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:50,440 "You have five minutes." 701 00:32:50,480 --> 00:32:52,800 All of the... How do I know what I've done? 702 00:32:52,840 --> 00:32:54,440 Well, you've got to remember them. 703 00:32:54,480 --> 00:32:55,720 - Really? - Probably. 704 00:32:55,760 --> 00:32:58,120 {\an1}APPLAUSE 705 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:02,760 That was so annoying. 706 00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:04,400 I just love it when people commit. 707 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,240 I've written it down, "Sam said, 'I fucking hate jigsaws!'" 708 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,240 That's what I was thinking. 709 00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:11,400 They're your kryptonite. 710 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:13,440 I could not get your eye to fit on your cheek. 711 00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:17,360 So the whole point of this task is the second half, 712 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,160 do the opposite of those instructions in the opposite order. 713 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:21,080 The first half was not relevant really. 714 00:33:21,120 --> 00:33:23,480 This is what's important. It's time for part two. 715 00:33:23,520 --> 00:33:25,600 {\an7}- WHISTLE - Stand up. 716 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,640 {\an8}- Stand. - Stand. How do you do the opposite of ducking? 717 00:33:30,160 --> 00:33:32,280 {\an8}- Jump. - Good. - Um... 718 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,760 {\an8}- Look up but look down. - Good. 719 00:33:34,800 --> 00:33:37,040 {\an8}Tied a knot in here. 720 00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:39,520 {\an8}Delete for everyone. 721 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:44,760 {\an8}A dirty bowl. Ha-ha-ha! I didn't clean it. 722 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:48,920 Ah, that's really... 723 00:33:51,880 --> 00:33:55,240 I haven't got time for this but I found a dice. 724 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:58,400 That's a square cube, opposite of a circle. 725 00:33:58,440 --> 00:34:00,440 I'll take it. 726 00:34:00,480 --> 00:34:02,240 Fucking sick. 727 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,040 Blow the balloon up. 728 00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:06,960 But that wasn't the order, was it? 729 00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:10,880 - Do the jigsaw? - It's quite easy to do the opposite of these 730 00:34:10,920 --> 00:34:12,760 because I didn't do those in the first place. 731 00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:14,640 And then, build a tower. 732 00:34:14,680 --> 00:34:16,040 Well remembered. 733 00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:19,800 Is it hot in here or is it just me? 734 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:21,560 My sock, can I have my sock back, please? 735 00:34:21,600 --> 00:34:23,080 You want me to throw your sock at you? 736 00:34:23,120 --> 00:34:24,280 No, I get it from you. 737 00:34:26,160 --> 00:34:28,480 - Was it then building the tower up? - Sure. 738 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,560 And then, I tell you the truth about my childhood. 739 00:34:34,600 --> 00:34:36,000 I was bullied in school. 740 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:37,480 I grew up in Kent. 741 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,760 Oh, hot hand not touching the plate. 742 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:43,440 - Your hand's hot, is it, now? - Yeah, really hot, 743 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:45,280 - cos it is hot in here, as I've just said. - OK. 744 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,440 Next was... # A, B, C, D, 745 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,000 # E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P... # 746 00:34:50,040 --> 00:34:51,440 - ..Z. - Two more. 747 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:52,640 Speak in a high voice. 748 00:34:52,680 --> 00:34:54,600 How do you do the opposite? 749 00:34:54,640 --> 00:34:57,120 Speak in a low voice for five, four, three, two, one. 750 00:34:57,160 --> 00:34:58,160 Ten seconds. 751 00:34:58,200 --> 00:35:00,960 Hello, my name is Rose. 752 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,520 - No. Have it anyway. - Thank you. 753 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:05,360 And then the one, don't blink my eye. 754 00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:07,720 {\an1}WHISTLE 755 00:35:08,720 --> 00:35:10,400 {\an1}- WHISTLE - Cough. Ahem! 756 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:11,720 {\an1}- Whistle. - WHISTLES 757 00:35:11,760 --> 00:35:14,000 - Um. - You did it, you shut your mouth. 758 00:35:14,040 --> 00:35:15,160 Oh, did I? 759 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:18,480 - How do you think you did? - Really badly. - Really badly. - Yeah. 760 00:35:18,520 --> 00:35:20,920 Got to keep your wits about you on this game, ain't ya? 761 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,600 - You always do, yeah. - Yeah. 762 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:24,160 {\an1}APPLAUSE 763 00:35:26,320 --> 00:35:29,480 I mean, really my big observation is I can't believe how well they did. 764 00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:33,520 - I mean, Susie didn't do well, she was right. - Yeah. I didn't. 765 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:36,640 But you did do nine out of the 20, which is not terrible. 766 00:35:36,680 --> 00:35:39,000 It is the angriest we've seen Susie so far. 767 00:35:39,040 --> 00:35:40,680 I even wrote it down, "She went, 768 00:35:40,720 --> 00:35:44,640 "'Yes, because it's hot in here, as I just said!'" 769 00:35:46,000 --> 00:35:49,360 Sam did 13 of the things in the right order, 770 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,400 opposite way round and Rose, 15, which was far more than we expected. 771 00:35:53,440 --> 00:35:54,600 - Wow. - Thank you. 772 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:56,880 As long as you're accepting putting a cube in 773 00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:59,640 a bottle is the opposite of putting a ball in a bottle. 774 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:01,120 The only reason I'm allowing it is 775 00:36:01,160 --> 00:36:05,360 because I so enjoyed this, "Ha-ha-ha! I didn't clean it!" 776 00:36:06,360 --> 00:36:08,560 I was so happy! 777 00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,720 Just one part left of our New Year's Treat. 778 00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:14,880 Someone will win Susie Dent's golden toilet seat 779 00:36:14,920 --> 00:36:17,600 and someone will win my golden eyebrows. 780 00:36:17,640 --> 00:36:19,760 It all ties together for Christmas. 781 00:36:19,800 --> 00:36:22,800 I gave Alex a golden shower. 782 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:27,640 - It was stingy. - It WAS stingy. I don't drink enough water! 783 00:36:27,680 --> 00:36:30,880 {\an1}- See you soon for the grand finale! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 784 00:36:39,400 --> 00:36:43,160 Hello! Welcome back to the final part of the show, 785 00:36:43,200 --> 00:36:46,160 where our New Year Treat is coming to an end 786 00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:48,720 - just as the New Year is beginning. - I know 787 00:36:48,760 --> 00:36:50,360 and it's going to be a big year for me. 788 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:52,440 I'm going to do 20 press-ups every other day, 789 00:36:52,480 --> 00:36:54,720 I'm going to phone my parents on the days in between the press-up days, 790 00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:57,400 and maybe I'll join some sort of hobby club. 791 00:36:57,440 --> 00:37:02,480 And finally, in the opposite task, it's Scott Jill and Zuu Big. 792 00:37:04,680 --> 00:37:07,160 Hello, my name is Jill. 793 00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:09,240 My name is Big Zuu. 794 00:37:11,080 --> 00:37:13,960 - Cold? What's cold? That's cold. - OK. 795 00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,080 I was really good at swimming. 796 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:18,200 Oh, why did I put my hand in the sticky stuff? 797 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:21,400 Why's this so difficult?! 798 00:37:21,440 --> 00:37:25,400 - Two minutes left. - You're just playing games. This is what you do. 799 00:37:25,440 --> 00:37:29,840 - Right. It's just going to Lloyds Bank. Pay. - You texted the bank? 800 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:31,840 - Why did you text the bank? - I don't know. 801 00:37:31,880 --> 00:37:33,200 Right. I've tied a knot. 802 00:37:36,640 --> 00:37:37,680 Ah! 803 00:37:37,720 --> 00:37:39,080 Five seconds left, Zuu. 804 00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:41,120 - I'm coming! - Good. 805 00:37:41,160 --> 00:37:44,040 You've got me living like a housewife, you abusive man. 806 00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:45,800 {\an1}WHISTLE 807 00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:47,320 Look, I even dried it. 808 00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,240 - That's your time up. - No! 809 00:37:49,280 --> 00:37:52,160 - Are you ready for part two? - Part two? - Yes, please. 810 00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:53,880 Second scroll for you, sir. 811 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,560 You didn't tell me about no double scroll! 812 00:37:56,600 --> 00:38:00,080 "Do the opposite of those instructions in the opposite order." 813 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,160 - Is it here? - Oh. 814 00:38:03,160 --> 00:38:04,360 I was going to say, like. 815 00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,160 Urgh! What is that?! 816 00:38:06,200 --> 00:38:08,480 Got to keep your wits about you on this game, ain't ya? 817 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,400 - You always do, yeah. - Yeah. 818 00:38:11,880 --> 00:38:15,080 {\an8}Up. Sit down. Look down. 819 00:38:15,120 --> 00:38:16,760 {\an8}All right. Do the opposite. Right. 820 00:38:16,800 --> 00:38:20,440 {\an8}Sit. Duck. Look up. Tie a knot. 821 00:38:20,480 --> 00:38:22,320 Do the opposite, do the opposite... 822 00:38:22,360 --> 00:38:24,200 ..do the opposite. 823 00:38:24,240 --> 00:38:26,400 Send a text. Don't send a text. Receive a text. 824 00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:27,720 - Can you text me? - Sure. 825 00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:30,880 {\an8}Send a text. Going to the bank again. 826 00:38:30,920 --> 00:38:32,240 Make this dirty again. 827 00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:35,920 It's already clean. Why am I cleaning it twice? 828 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:37,560 - That's a good question, Jill. - Yeah. 829 00:38:37,600 --> 00:38:40,040 - Three and a half minutes, Jill. - Oh, God. 830 00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:42,520 - Isn't it mad how your brain works? - Hmm. 831 00:38:45,520 --> 00:38:46,840 Um, complete the jigsaw. 832 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:51,760 - Complete the jigsaw, it's already complete. - That's weird. 833 00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:56,200 - That's the tower, is it? - That's the tower! - OK! OK. 834 00:38:56,240 --> 00:38:57,800 Come on, Jill. 835 00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:01,720 Tell a lie about your childhood. 836 00:39:01,760 --> 00:39:03,040 I learnt to ride a bike at six. 837 00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:07,520 Tell the truth. Erm... Oh... I really enjoy instant noodles. 838 00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:11,200 Yo, my name is Big Zuu 839 00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:14,840 and I am your father, or your uncle. Depends. 840 00:39:14,880 --> 00:39:16,480 Shut your eyes and open your mouth. 841 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:19,480 {\an1}WHISTLE And we're done. 842 00:39:19,520 --> 00:39:20,720 Shut your eyes, open your mouth. 843 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,920 {\an1}WHISTLE 844 00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,680 - Oh! - Right. - I think I've got an emergency call from the bank. 845 00:39:27,720 --> 00:39:29,120 Can I just take this? 846 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,480 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I think they think I'm in trouble. - OK. 847 00:39:32,760 --> 00:39:35,880 - I had to ring the bank. They were ringing us. - Is it? - Yeah. 848 00:39:35,920 --> 00:39:37,160 I mean it says something, Jill, 849 00:39:37,200 --> 00:39:39,080 when I watch something as catastrophic as that 850 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,320 and the only thing I've written down is, 851 00:39:41,360 --> 00:39:43,280 "Who the hell texts their bank?!" 852 00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:48,880 I don't feel so bad about the whole birthday point now. 853 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:51,320 Oh, no, I need that back now, please. 854 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:53,000 No, you got it back for that shit painting. 855 00:39:55,280 --> 00:39:57,880 Zuu absolutely knocked it out of the park, didn't he? 856 00:39:57,920 --> 00:40:00,880 - So, he did all but one on the second time round. - Wow, man! 857 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:02,560 - Well done. - Well done. 858 00:40:02,600 --> 00:40:04,160 Finally! 859 00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:06,520 I've waited! 860 00:40:06,560 --> 00:40:08,560 Jill gets one point, Susie two, three for Sam, 861 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:12,680 four for Rose, but finally, Big Zuu gets five points! 862 00:40:12,720 --> 00:40:17,960 Yes! I've waited! You know how much this means to me! 863 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:20,680 All right, everyone, just one more thing to do. So, please, 864 00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:23,240 make your way to the stage for the final task of the show! 865 00:40:23,280 --> 00:40:25,000 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 866 00:40:29,240 --> 00:40:31,680 Hello, you lovely boy. 867 00:40:31,720 --> 00:40:33,240 Well, hello, you lovely man. 868 00:40:33,280 --> 00:40:35,320 Who will be reading the task? 869 00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:36,840 Well, there's a lot of words, 870 00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:38,440 so there's only one person who knows words 871 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,800 and it's Susie Dent to read out all these words. 872 00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,240 - OK. - Take it away, Susie Dent. 873 00:40:43,280 --> 00:40:45,000 Win the shoe games. 874 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:47,840 Wow. She just knows every word. 875 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:49,200 Win the shoe games. 876 00:40:49,240 --> 00:40:50,640 There's going to be four shoe games. 877 00:40:50,680 --> 00:40:52,000 We're going to lose a player each time. 878 00:40:52,040 --> 00:40:57,760 Round one, hold a size 11 left shoe above your head. 879 00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:00,120 You may only pick out one shoe at a time 880 00:41:00,160 --> 00:41:03,760 and you must replace the shoe before picking another. 881 00:41:03,800 --> 00:41:06,000 Last player is eliminated. 882 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,280 {\an1}- Let's play shoe games. - WHISTLE 883 00:41:08,320 --> 00:41:09,880 And off they go. 884 00:41:09,920 --> 00:41:11,320 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 885 00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:15,920 You must replace it. 886 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:17,320 Please put the shoe back in, Jill. 887 00:41:17,360 --> 00:41:19,080 Put the shoe back in, Jill. Then get another one. 888 00:41:19,120 --> 00:41:22,640 - You've got to put the shoe back. - Whoa. Ooh. Oh, my word. 889 00:41:22,680 --> 00:41:25,120 Jill is really struggling with the sack. 890 00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,880 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 891 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:35,360 - We've lost Rose Ayling-Ellis. - Aww! 892 00:41:37,920 --> 00:41:40,240 - Are you ready for the second one? - Yes. 893 00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:42,560 Remove the shoelace from your shoe and hold it above your head. 894 00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:44,640 - Last player is eliminated. - Oh! 895 00:41:44,680 --> 00:41:46,400 Oh, I'm glad I'm out of this. 896 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:49,360 More haste, less speed surely. 897 00:41:49,400 --> 00:41:51,840 Oh, Zuu, if you lose this... 898 00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:53,240 Oh, Zuu. 899 00:41:53,280 --> 00:41:56,520 {\an1}We have Jill. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 900 00:41:56,560 --> 00:41:58,080 We have... Oh! 901 00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:03,960 - They're gone. - That's my shoe. - Oh, this is the worst shoe ever! 902 00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:07,200 {\an1}- I love the games. - LAUGHTER 903 00:42:07,240 --> 00:42:09,400 He loves the shoe games. We've lost Sam Ryder. 904 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:10,800 {\an1}APPLAUSE 905 00:42:10,840 --> 00:42:13,200 Greg, are you ready for more high octane... 906 00:42:13,240 --> 00:42:15,520 I cannot put into words how ready I am. 907 00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:18,320 It's shoe games, round three. 908 00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:19,560 Let's dance. 909 00:42:19,600 --> 00:42:21,480 For this one, you must stay on the spot at all times, 910 00:42:21,520 --> 00:42:23,560 please don't do anything till I blow the whistle. 911 00:42:23,600 --> 00:42:27,080 Throw a sock onto your shoe. 912 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:29,920 No part of the sock can be touching the ground. 913 00:42:29,960 --> 00:42:33,240 It could be in it, but if any part of the sock is touching the ground, 914 00:42:33,280 --> 00:42:35,720 it won't count. It'll be the final after this. 915 00:42:35,760 --> 00:42:37,400 {\an7}Last player is eliminated. WHISTLE 916 00:42:37,440 --> 00:42:40,360 {\an8}- Sock in a shoe. Oh, my word. - Whoa! 917 00:42:40,400 --> 00:42:42,520 {\an8}- Oh. - Just touching the floor. 918 00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:44,200 {\an8}Oh, bumbaclot. 919 00:42:44,240 --> 00:42:45,640 {\an8}I don't think we can say that. 920 00:42:45,680 --> 00:42:47,880 {\an8}Oh, come on. I can say bumbaclot. 921 00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,680 {\an8}- Stay on your spots. - They don't know what it... - Oh! 922 00:42:50,720 --> 00:42:54,040 {\an8}- No, no, no! You lot are cheating. - That is good. - You lot are cheating. 923 00:42:54,080 --> 00:42:56,200 {\an8}- You lot are cheating, you lot are cheating. - Jill's safe. Jill's safe. 924 00:42:56,240 --> 00:42:58,920 {\an8}You lot are cheating. Ah! 925 00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:02,000 {\an8}No! 926 00:43:07,440 --> 00:43:08,760 {\an8}- Oh. - That's on. 927 00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:10,520 {\an8}- Well done. Keep going. - No. 928 00:43:10,560 --> 00:43:12,640 {\an8}- That's a lot of socks. - Oh, God. 929 00:43:12,680 --> 00:43:15,000 {\an8}The game hasn't sustained excitement. 930 00:43:17,400 --> 00:43:20,480 {\an8}Bro, bro, bro. I've run out of socks. 931 00:43:20,520 --> 00:43:21,760 {\an8}Yeah! 932 00:43:22,920 --> 00:43:26,360 {\an8}It's... It's not touching the floor, it's touching shoe and another sock. 933 00:43:26,400 --> 00:43:27,920 - Are we allowing it? - We've lost Susie Dent! 934 00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:30,680 {\an1}We've lost Susie Dent. BIG ZUU SCREAMS 935 00:43:33,160 --> 00:43:35,600 We've finally made it. It's the final of shoe games. 936 00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,400 {\an1}CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 937 00:43:42,320 --> 00:43:46,040 So this time, flick your shoe into the bucket, 938 00:43:46,080 --> 00:43:48,720 and by flick we mean the shoe has to be on your foot, 939 00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:52,120 - you must flick it. - But that's not fair! She's a... Bro! 940 00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:53,840 {\an1}- LAUGHTER - Oh, yeah. 941 00:43:53,880 --> 00:43:57,840 - Nah! - No way. Playing football or put a size 11 shoe on my foot 942 00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,960 - and flick it into a bucket? - Oh, come on, bro! - Same thing. 943 00:44:01,000 --> 00:44:02,280 This one's more like golf. 944 00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:03,880 You will flick and then you will flick. 945 00:44:03,920 --> 00:44:06,480 - First to flick, it's Big Zuu. Good luck, Big Zuu. - Yeah, whatever. 946 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:08,680 I'm thinking the wind's going a bit that way. 947 00:44:10,400 --> 00:44:13,600 Align it there. No, come on, I'm left-footed, bro. 948 00:44:13,640 --> 00:44:15,440 Oh! 949 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:16,600 Lucky, ya know! 950 00:44:20,520 --> 00:44:21,840 Oh! 951 00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,520 Big Zuu, you may approach your shoe. 952 00:44:25,560 --> 00:44:28,280 {\an8}You must flick it from that position. 953 00:44:28,320 --> 00:44:31,200 {\an8}I mean, you can pick it up and put it on your foot, 954 00:44:31,240 --> 00:44:33,240 {\an8}but you do have to flick it from there. No closer to the bucket. 955 00:44:33,280 --> 00:44:36,040 {\an8}- So I can put it on my foot, yeah? - Yeah. GREG: - Where it, where it fell. 956 00:44:36,080 --> 00:44:37,760 {\an8}- It was there. - Yes. 957 00:44:37,800 --> 00:44:40,080 {\an8}- Oh, you just took a step forward. - I never. 958 00:44:40,120 --> 00:44:42,800 {\an8}- Back an inch please. - Yeah. 959 00:44:42,840 --> 00:44:44,760 {\an8}Oh! All right. 960 00:44:50,440 --> 00:44:51,600 {\an8}No, Big Zuu! Big Zuu! 961 00:44:51,640 --> 00:44:53,520 {\an8}Back to your spot. On the spot, please. 962 00:44:55,480 --> 00:44:57,320 {\an8}OK. 963 00:44:57,360 --> 00:44:59,000 - Just a flick. GREG: - Just a flick. 964 00:44:59,040 --> 00:45:01,600 {\an8}This ain't a flick, this, this is a lift up. 965 00:45:01,640 --> 00:45:05,120 {\an7}We have a winner! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 966 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,800 Right. We will add those to your final scores. 967 00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:11,800 Come down and join me! 968 00:45:17,200 --> 00:45:18,600 Wow. Jill, that was amazing 969 00:45:18,640 --> 00:45:23,000 and it means you have excitingly joined Sam on 16 points. 970 00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,840 {\an1}Which means... CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 971 00:45:24,880 --> 00:45:28,760 Yeah, it's exciting. It means they come joint second. 972 00:45:28,800 --> 00:45:29,920 Ooh! 973 00:45:31,120 --> 00:45:35,200 One behind today's winner. With 17 points, it is Rose Ayling-Ellis! 974 00:45:35,240 --> 00:45:39,040 {\an1}- CHEERING AND APPLAUSE - Rose wins the episode! 975 00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:43,120 Please head up to eye your exotic prizes! 976 00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:49,760 My magnets! 977 00:45:51,120 --> 00:45:56,920 Let's find out who has won the first-ever double treat. 978 00:45:56,960 --> 00:45:59,480 OK, then, Greg. Well, in fifth place, 979 00:45:59,520 --> 00:46:02,400 she has done very well, despite what she thinks 980 00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:05,400 and despite what the position says. 981 00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:07,520 With 25 points, it's Susie Dent! 982 00:46:10,240 --> 00:46:12,520 Happy birthday, last place. 983 00:46:12,560 --> 00:46:15,640 Well, she's only one point behind someone who thought 984 00:46:15,680 --> 00:46:18,240 he was going to win throughout. It's Big Zuu! 985 00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:24,240 In third place, he's got the energy of a big dog, 986 00:46:24,280 --> 00:46:26,960 it's Sam Ryder with 29 points! 987 00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,120 There's only one point in it. With 31 points... 988 00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,120 Is it? Is it? 989 00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:37,480 I, I put that right. 990 00:46:37,520 --> 00:46:40,720 One of our nation's greatest sports people, it's Jill Scott! 991 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:47,960 So the winner got a total of 32 points across two episodes, Greg. 992 00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:52,320 The winner of the first-ever double New Year's Treat... 993 00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:56,200 {\an1}- it's Rose! - CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 994 00:46:57,200 --> 00:46:59,160 Congratulations. 995 00:46:59,200 --> 00:47:00,960 - Thank you very much. - Congratulations. 996 00:47:24,400 --> 00:47:26,520 Subtitles by Red Bee Media