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[announcer] If it's Wednesday night,
that means it's Barley Tonight,
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00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:15,850
the no-holds-barred debate show
with your host, Barch Barley.
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Tune in to watch Barley spar with experts
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from the worlds of politics,
sports, and pop culture.
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I never met a fight I didn't like.
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Isn't that the whole point?
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You have to know
how crazy you sound right now.
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Right? He sounds crazy, doesn't he?
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On my show, nothing's off-limits.
Fighting's a lost art.
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But if I smell blood,
I go in for the kill.
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And if you start to win,
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I go on my phone.
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Where do you think
that money comes from? Taxes.
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I don't know where you think
it comes from. The bank?
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[audience laughs, goes quiet]
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- Barley, I just--
- Hold on. I gotta do something fast.
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- What the fuck?
- Is everything all right?
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Not sure.
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I'll size you up and I'll cut you down.
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If you're getting the best of me,
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I have no problem being on my phone
the whole show.
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- Impossible to keep gas prices this high.
- Exactly the point I made.
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Fuck!
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[sighs softly]
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- Bar--
- Hold on.
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Gotta do something for my mom.
She's not getting any hot water.
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- Well, one thing I--
- Hold on.
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It's crazy at her house. Hold on.
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Is she okay?
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- Barley?
- Can't take a shower.
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I have so much stuff on my phone.
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Music, apps, games, obviously.
A medieval game, obviously.
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Obviously a jousting game.
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I have no problem
being on my phone for hours.
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I love my phone.
I even have an alarm on my phone.
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What are you doing?
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- [coughs]
- Don't cough.
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I have the newest phone.
It's black and I have a black case for it.
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It looks really cool.
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I have everything on this phone.
I always just look at it.
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If I ever feel weird at all,
I'm just looking at it.
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I know there's a new phone coming soon.
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But I'm not worried about it at all.
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Because I know I can take all the stuff
from my old phone
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and put it on my new phone,
as long as I'm updated.
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I'm putting the photos from here
on my computer.
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That way, when the new phone comes out,
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I can put them on that phone
from the computer.
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Even if something goes crazy,
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I'll still have those photos
on the computer, safe and sound.
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- Admit that I won.
- Let me look at this!
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You're just embarrassed
because you thought--
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No, my mom's getting robbed.
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- And she's texting you about it.
- The guys are.
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What are they texting?
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Sent me a picture of her tied up
with an apple in her mouth.
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Let her go.
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I love how this phone works.
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{\an8}[theme music playing]
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Okay, so building a good team in business
is like building any team.
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- Even the Cardinals.
- [chuckling]
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For example, uh, Susan.
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And Tina. They have a shorthand.
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You might want to put them
on the same team together.
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Right? Now on the other hand,
let's say if, uh,
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Rick and Stan are absolute mortal enemies,
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you probably don't want them
on the same team. All right?
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- Hate you, Rick.
- You too, Stan.
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Exactly. See? Wouldn't be a good idea.
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You wanna keep close tabs
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on interpersonal relationships
in the workplace.
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- Now--
- Fuckin' Rick.
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[scattered chuckles]
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Looks like these guys
have something going on.
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Yeah. Maybe he walked in on me in a dream
when I was about to have an orgy
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and he wrecked it.
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Could be different reasons.
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- Yeah.
- Good. Okay.
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So, moving forward,
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uh, you've got a solid handle
on these individual personalities
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and abilities of your core team.
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You can start to delegate tasks...
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[grunts menacingly]
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[softly] Why the hell did you have to
walk in on my orgy, you fucker?
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All right.
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[presenter] ...and trust takes time, right?
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- So don't fret if things take a while.
- [grunts menacingly]
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- Hey, mortal enemy.
- [presenter] Okay? Need to be nurtured.
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You can't just set and forget them,
no matter how talented you people are.
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[grunting]
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[softly] I'm so pissed off.
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[presenter] But don't suffocate your squad
with constant hovering or micromanaging.
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Stop.
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[presenter] Make sure everyone's
short and long-term goals
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are laid out clearly and reasonably.
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Even then, things won't always
come out the way you want.
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- Sometimes you're gonna have to step in...
- Stop.
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[presenter] When you find your team
in troubled waters...
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- Stop.
- No.
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Stan, stop it.
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- Knock it the fuck off!
- Hey! What the hell's going on here?
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He's acting like
he's throwing fake water at us.
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- What?
- Because you said we're mortal enemies,
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and I didn't wanna say I wrecked his orgy.
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Not why. I'm doing it
because they tell me to stop.
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- Then stop doing it!
- I'll do it more!
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- Stop!
- Stan!
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Stan, that's enough!
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- Stop it!
- Stop!
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I'm just gonna keep doing it.
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You wanna do it, let's do it!
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- Alex!
- Alex!
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[overlapping exclamations]
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What are you doing?
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- Alex!
- I'm so tired of this!
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Everything's out of control!
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[yells]
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What is even going on?
My life is out of control.
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I just take everything way too far.
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[somber, pensive music plays]
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I got too hyper.
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And now you're more in trouble than me, unfortunately.
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Yeah.
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It's okay.
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
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- You got me with the water pretty bad.
- [both chuckling]
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Nah, nah, nah.
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Nah. It's just that mine
didn't have any water in it.
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And yours did.
And then, plus, you pulled my hair plugs.
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That's why mine was funny
and everyone's mad at you.
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I can't believe all that happened
'cause the teacher.
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I'm not a teacher.
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Wow!
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♪ Baby, baby, baby, baby, bay-bay-bay ♪
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♪ Whoa, baby, baby, bay-bay-bay ♪
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{\an8}Last week on Summer Loving...
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{\an8}Megan was torn between sending home
two of the summer lovers.
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Alexander and Ronnie, please step forward.
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[announcer] Find out whose summer break
is over on this week's Summer Loving.
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Twenty-four eligible men spend
summer break with one beautiful woman
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to see if a summer fling
will turn into summer love.
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[dramatic music plays]
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{\an8}Alexander, on our kayaking date earlier,
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I feel like there were
a lot of awkward pauses.
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I know we had an instant attraction,
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but I'm starting to think
we don't have enough in common
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for you to be... the one.
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{\an8}And Ronnie, I feel like you're just here
for the zip line.
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What?
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00:06:57,793 --> 00:07:00,296
All you do all day is go on the zip line.
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00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,591
{\an8}[tense, dramatic music plays]
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00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:04,717
[chatter nearby]
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I like that you can drop into the pool.
I'm trying to remember.
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You were never joining us
at any of the group meals
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and when you were reprimanded
and asked to join us,
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you ate as fast as you could.
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{\an8}- How do you think your connection is?
- Good.
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[metallic scraping]
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00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:29,783
And you've gotten into several fights
with Mike
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from Adventure 365, who runs the zip line.
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[man] Just too excited.
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{\an8}He's too rough on the rope.
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- Shut up, Mike.
- He pulls.
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He wrenches on the rope.
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- He thinks it's his.
- Shut up, Mike.
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- You yanked on the rope hard.
- I said shut up.
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And is it true that when you found out
I was upset about the zip line,
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you started spreading rumors
about your fellow summer lovers?
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00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:52,431
I sincerely believe Cody is a drug addict.
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00:07:52,431 --> 00:07:54,683
Cody says he's never touched a drug.
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Well, that's what I believe.
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00:07:56,268 --> 00:07:59,522
Megan, before you decide
whether to send me home or not,
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I just want you to know
Carmelo said your face looks like a clock.
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00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,318
I never said that.
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00:08:04,318 --> 00:08:07,446
- [sniffles]
- [gentle, somber music plays]
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I just don't wanna go home.
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What's waiting for me at home
is really bad.
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What's waiting at home?
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I don't know.
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00:08:17,706 --> 00:08:22,253
When I get home, there's something
I'm worried about about my life.
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00:08:22,253 --> 00:08:24,004
- What is it?
- I don't know.
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00:08:24,672 --> 00:08:28,092
- [scoffs] Is there really something?
- I don't know.
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00:08:28,092 --> 00:08:29,385
[sniffles]
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00:08:29,385 --> 00:08:31,804
I just really wanna be here. I love you.
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00:08:31,804 --> 00:08:34,181
Is it true, when having beers with Kenny,
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you told him it was your dream
to be alone?
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{\an8}- It's not true.
- I just wanna be alone forever.
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00:08:40,187 --> 00:08:43,524
Before you make your decision,
I just want you to know
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I believe Carlos is a ho.
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00:08:46,277 --> 00:08:48,696
♪ I may falter... ♪
191
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Unfortunately, Ronnie...
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00:08:51,824 --> 00:08:54,368
♪ You said this would happen... ♪
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...our summer fling is over.
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00:08:58,706 --> 00:08:59,540
Aww!
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00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:01,834
- Should pack your things and go.
- You sure?
196
00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:03,877
[dramatic music slowly intensifies]
197
00:09:03,877 --> 00:09:06,380
[grunts frustratedly]
198
00:09:06,380 --> 00:09:07,548
Aww!
199
00:09:08,591 --> 00:09:09,425
Aww!
200
00:09:09,425 --> 00:09:12,553
["Young Girl" by Frank Lynch plays]
201
00:09:12,553 --> 00:09:13,637
Mike?
202
00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:15,764
Tony? Come here.
203
00:09:17,016 --> 00:09:19,685
- What's up, Dad?
- Have a seat, please.
204
00:09:19,685 --> 00:09:24,106
You guys have really been extremely rude
and disrespectful to me lately.
205
00:09:24,106 --> 00:09:26,400
But I think I have something
that might help.
206
00:09:34,575 --> 00:09:36,076
Loser.
207
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:37,036
What's that?
208
00:09:38,037 --> 00:09:39,246
You say something to me?
209
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:41,915
- Yeah. I called you a loser.
- Yeah, I'm a stranger.
210
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:43,292
Don't talk like that.
211
00:09:43,292 --> 00:09:46,545
If you're a stranger,
I can call you what I want. [grunts]
212
00:09:47,588 --> 00:09:49,381
[thudding]
213
00:09:49,381 --> 00:09:50,424
What is this?
214
00:09:50,424 --> 00:09:52,801
It's a video of me beating up a kid.
215
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,471
It looks really fake.
216
00:09:55,471 --> 00:09:56,513
But it's real.
217
00:09:56,513 --> 00:09:58,474
- [metallic clanging]
- [grunting]
218
00:09:58,474 --> 00:10:00,768
- That doesn't look like a kid.
- [sighs]
219
00:10:00,768 --> 00:10:03,937
I thought it would look fucking real.
Goddammit!
220
00:10:03,937 --> 00:10:06,273
You kids have been so nasty to me lately.
221
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:07,733
I had to do something.
222
00:10:07,733 --> 00:10:10,944
- How'd you make it?
- It's a company. Street Sets.
223
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:14,448
It's a warehouse downtown.
They've got different street scene sets.
224
00:10:14,448 --> 00:10:16,659
Pointless 'cause
you don't think it's real.
225
00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:18,202
You can tell it's an old man.
226
00:10:19,620 --> 00:10:21,038
Stomp my foot.
227
00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:24,541
Fucking Street Sets! I paid 15k for this.
228
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:26,460
- [sighs]
- [groans]
229
00:10:26,460 --> 00:10:29,338
- Who were you gonna say filmed this?
- Brian.
230
00:10:29,338 --> 00:10:31,423
- From work?
- Yeah, Brian Cambridge.
231
00:10:31,423 --> 00:10:34,635
- Thrash me around.
- This part looks like shit.
232
00:10:34,635 --> 00:10:36,053
- Say you're sorry!
- No!
233
00:10:37,137 --> 00:10:39,014
That guy was going nuts.
234
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:42,434
Kept saying if the stunts looked good,
he can get into Jump Junkies.
235
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:45,187
I said, "I don't care how this helps you."
236
00:10:45,187 --> 00:10:46,855
- Dad--
- Fucking Street Sets!
237
00:10:46,855 --> 00:10:49,817
I thought you'd think
this was fucking real!
238
00:10:51,318 --> 00:10:52,528
We love you, Dad.
239
00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:56,532
We shouldn't have danced in the kitchen
when you had your stuff on the island.
240
00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:59,993
We know you were really stressed
organizing stuff on the marble.
241
00:10:59,993 --> 00:11:01,370
Thank you, boys.
242
00:11:01,370 --> 00:11:04,081
- Got something you wanna say?
- I'm sowwy, mister.
243
00:11:05,124 --> 00:11:07,710
Brian, you were filming this whole thing?
244
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,503
God, this sucks!
245
00:11:09,503 --> 00:11:13,132
["Just One More Time"
by Ernestine Thompson plays]
246
00:11:13,132 --> 00:11:15,509
♪ This must be my day now ♪
247
00:11:17,428 --> 00:11:19,888
Hey, everyone, Kathy won't be in today.
248
00:11:20,639 --> 00:11:23,350
She got a DUI coming home
from the office happy hour.
249
00:11:23,350 --> 00:11:26,437
- Oh my God.
- Because she was at a work social event,
250
00:11:26,437 --> 00:11:29,189
I feel I have to remind you all
to be responsible.
251
00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:30,941
- Thank God she's okay.
- Yeah.
252
00:11:30,941 --> 00:11:32,359
God, so scary.
253
00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:36,029
If anybody ever feels
they've had too much to drink
254
00:11:36,029 --> 00:11:37,614
and they still need to drive,
255
00:11:37,614 --> 00:11:38,782
here's my number.
256
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:43,829
No judgment. I mean it.
I will pick you up wherever, whenever.
257
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:46,915
It's good to see you, dude.
258
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:48,750
- I had a blast.
- You good to drive?
259
00:11:48,750 --> 00:11:50,836
- I should be fine.
- Get home safe.
260
00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:51,962
Later.
261
00:11:51,962 --> 00:11:54,548
[gentle, suspenseful music plays]
262
00:12:02,181 --> 00:12:04,016
[indistinct chatter]
263
00:12:04,016 --> 00:12:05,142
[car horn honking]
264
00:12:08,979 --> 00:12:10,939
Hey, man. Appreciate you picking me up.
265
00:12:10,939 --> 00:12:12,608
Not a problem. Glad you called.
266
00:12:12,608 --> 00:12:15,152
Glad you got out safe.
You did the right thing.
267
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:19,031
["A Place With You" by Dick Walter plays]
268
00:12:21,909 --> 00:12:25,579
[on radio] ♪ I've traveled far
I've traveled wide ♪
269
00:12:25,579 --> 00:12:28,749
♪ So many miles I'm bleary-eyed ♪
270
00:12:29,917 --> 00:12:34,004
♪ Still I get no place with you ♪
271
00:12:34,588 --> 00:12:36,924
You got behind the wheel.
Could've been bad.
272
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,634
- Yeah, well, thanks.
- Fuck!
273
00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:41,553
They're trying to make it look fake!
Goddammit!
274
00:12:41,553 --> 00:12:44,056
- Make what look fake?
- [growls softly]
275
00:12:44,056 --> 00:12:48,143
The hat and the cigar. You're driving
with the Driving Crooner, baby.
276
00:12:48,894 --> 00:12:50,395
♪ Mmm ♪
277
00:12:50,395 --> 00:12:52,648
♪ Continental travel... ♪
278
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:55,734
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
They're trying to make it look fake!
279
00:12:55,734 --> 00:12:59,029
- Slow down!
- Gotta be next to me for it to look real.
280
00:12:59,029 --> 00:13:03,033
You gotta be right next to me.
Everybody tries to make it look fake.
281
00:13:03,033 --> 00:13:06,745
Fuckers. Bet you didn't know you were
with the Driving Crooner, did you?
282
00:13:06,745 --> 00:13:11,124
- Or working with the Driving Crooner.
- No, I didn't know you... do this.
283
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:13,001
Oh, yeah, I do this.
284
00:13:13,001 --> 00:13:14,169
I own this.
285
00:13:14,169 --> 00:13:16,630
- You own what?
- Thedrivingcrooner.com, baby.
286
00:13:16,630 --> 00:13:17,839
Don't ya love it?
287
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,384
["A Place With You" fades, ends]
288
00:13:20,384 --> 00:13:23,095
[gentle, lilting jazz music
plays on radio]
289
00:13:24,555 --> 00:13:28,475
I gotta figure out how to make money
on this thing. It's simply too good.
290
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,103
The dream is to have five cars
going state-wide.
291
00:13:31,103 --> 00:13:32,854
- Watch out for this guy.
- Fuck!
292
00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:36,316
- He's trying to steal my decals!
- What the hell are you doing?
293
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:38,902
Sorry. Thought he was trying
to steal my decals.
294
00:13:38,902 --> 00:13:40,153
He was walking his dog.
295
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:43,407
Walking to the car,
trying to rip the hat off, the cigar off.
296
00:13:43,407 --> 00:13:44,575
Why would he do that?
297
00:13:45,367 --> 00:13:46,410
I don't know.
298
00:13:47,286 --> 00:13:49,246
Some people hate this, James.
299
00:13:49,246 --> 00:13:52,708
I don't know what it is,
but they fuckin' hate it.
300
00:13:54,626 --> 00:13:56,712
There's people that wanna kill me, James.
301
00:13:56,712 --> 00:13:59,423
They want to kill you?
For doing the Driving Crooner?
302
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,342
- Yeah.
- Jesus.
303
00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:05,470
Gotta figure how to make money on this!
I really want to!
304
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:07,723
Hey, what do you think of Richard
from work?
305
00:14:07,723 --> 00:14:09,224
He's got that big Cadillac.
306
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:13,520
I could just slap the sticker on the side.
He'd be a perfect Driving Crooner.
307
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,315
- That would generate revenue.
- Yeah, man. May... maybe.
308
00:14:16,315 --> 00:14:19,234
Yeah! Yes, James!
309
00:14:20,694 --> 00:14:24,031
♪ Gonna need help from up above... ♪
310
00:14:26,491 --> 00:14:28,160
Fuck! Fucking hell!
311
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,245
- Fuck! Oh no!
- What?
312
00:14:30,245 --> 00:14:32,664
- Frat boys. Try and run us off the road.
- What?
313
00:14:32,664 --> 00:14:34,583
[tense, ominous music playing]
314
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,585
Roll up the window.
315
00:14:37,127 --> 00:14:39,755
- There's nothing on it.
- Oh, we know what's on it.
316
00:14:39,755 --> 00:14:42,883
- There's no stickers on it.
- Yes, there is.
317
00:14:43,759 --> 00:14:45,886
I'm gonna kill you.
318
00:14:47,262 --> 00:14:50,891
I'm gonna fucking kill you,
Driving Crooner!
319
00:14:50,891 --> 00:14:52,893
[tense, ominous music continues]
320
00:14:54,144 --> 00:14:56,104
- [engine revving]
- [tires squealing]
321
00:14:58,523 --> 00:15:00,442
[window motor whirring]
322
00:15:01,276 --> 00:15:02,444
Are you all right?
323
00:15:02,444 --> 00:15:05,030
[music softens, turns somber]
324
00:15:05,989 --> 00:15:08,075
I'm so sick of this.
325
00:15:08,075 --> 00:15:09,993
Why do they hate it so much?
326
00:15:10,702 --> 00:15:11,620
[sighs]
327
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:17,709
When I was a kid,
328
00:15:18,543 --> 00:15:21,129
I fell into a river
and a fish bumped me out.
329
00:15:21,964 --> 00:15:23,382
I was supposed to die.
330
00:15:24,049 --> 00:15:26,969
But a fish bumped me out with its nose.
331
00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:32,349
That was the earth telling me
I'm supposed to do something great.
332
00:15:32,349 --> 00:15:36,019
And I know that's the Driving Crooner.
It has to be.
333
00:15:36,645 --> 00:15:38,355
You know what I mean, James?
334
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:42,693
I'm so sick of this!
335
00:15:42,693 --> 00:15:44,695
[theme music playing]
336
00:16:15,809 --> 00:16:18,729
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
337
00:16:18,729 --> 00:16:22,274
♪ Oh ♪
338
00:16:23,817 --> 00:16:26,236
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
339
00:16:26,236 --> 00:16:28,739
♪ Yeah ♪
340
00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,074
[music ends]
341
00:16:33,869 --> 00:16:35,829
{\an8}[robotic voice] Zanin Corp.
[chuckles]