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- Welcome to Supermarket Swap, VR edition!
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Let's meet our two father-son teams:
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{\an8}- the Mitchells and the Terdanas.
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- All right, Mitchells.
- We're gonna go "Bites and Bits."
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Okay. "Bits and Bites."
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Kraft Toaster Strudels Pop 'Ems
or Tyson Corn Dog Minis?
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Strudels Pop 'Ems is less.
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- That's a VR shopping spree!
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- Oh, all right!
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- Who's going in?
- Dad.
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Dad's going in!
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Give me all that stuff!
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It's a shopping spree.
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You know how it works. You wanna get
as many items as you can
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without going over the $500 limit.
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- You ready?
- Psyched to get in there!
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All right, we're gonna put 30 seconds
on the clock.
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In three, two, one. Begin!
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Go, Dad!
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Dad, grab that chewing gum!
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Put it in the cart! Come on!
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- Dad?
- I don't think he's breathing.
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Dad? Are you breathing, Dad?
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- He's not breathing.
- Dad?
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- Dad!
- Gotta breathe, Mike!
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- Breathe!
- Open your mouth!
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- What's happening? Breathe!
- Breathe!
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- Mr. Mitchell! Breathe! Breathe!
- Breathe! Breathe! Breathe!
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- Breathe! Breathe!
- Get him out of there!
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Get him out!
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- Get the gloves!
- Get him out!
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Ouch! Ach!
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Mike, why couldn't you breathe?
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I don't know how to work the body.
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It's you. It's you in there.
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You just need to breathe.
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You just have to breathe normally.
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Why don't you go back to the podium.
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- How do we move our bodies ever?
- What?
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I don't think I can walk.
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- Really?
- Yeah.
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I'm thinking about it too much.
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- I'm really crossed up.
- Dad!
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- Mike?
- Dad!
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Mike, what's going on?
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- What'd you do?
- Breathe!
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- Breathe!
- Dad, fucking breathe!
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Breathe! Dad, please!
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Just breathe!
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- Dad!
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- Dog doors can be a problem.
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Your dog can get out,
but other things can get in.
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{\an8}The Darmine Doggy Door brings you
the newest high-tech doggy door
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from Darmine Devices.
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These doors are fully automatic,
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{\an8}activated by a digital chip
in your dog's collar.
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You're not gonna get varmin,
not gonna get intruders.
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And you're definitely
not gonna get this thing.
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'Cause I saw that thing.
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That came in here when I was on the couch.
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It's a pig!
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What the fuck?!
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What the fuck?!
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My next-door neighbor
put a Richard Nixon mask on a pig
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and had it go through my dog door.
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Been arguing over a property line.
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Get it off of my bushes!
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Trying to call me a liar and thief
like Nixon, and a pig.
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You're a pig!
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But I didn't know what was happening
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'cause I barely been sleeping since
my wife got flipped by a swing dancer.
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Must've flipped my wife eight times!
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And it really bothered me.
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When you can't sleep
and you see that thing,
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you're not just right away,
"That's a pig with a mask."
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You're like, "That's gonna kill me.
That's real. That lives on Earth."
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- I thought I was gonna get eaten!
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I'm not a stupid fuckin' idiot.
I know it was just a pig.
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But for 50 seconds, it felt really real.
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And when your first thought is, "Great,
don't have to go to work tomorrow,"
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you're relieved because you thought
you were gonna get eaten?
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What the fuck is this world?
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What have they done to us?
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What did they do to us?!
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That was the most consequential day
because now I know I don't like work.
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{\an8}The Darmine Doggy Door!
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{\an8}Happy pet, peace of mind!
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{\an8}Anything can happen in this world.
We really know very little.
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{\an8}My life is nothing I thought
and everything I worried it would become.
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For 50 seconds, I thought
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- ♪ Keep on tryin' ♪
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♪ I'm gonna keep on tryin' ♪
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- Mary! Come on in.
- Hi!
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Just wanted to drop off your bowl.
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Thank you for bringing the salad
on Thursday.
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It was such a nice event.
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- So nice.
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Help! Help!
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Help!
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- Oh my God!
- You can't park over the sidewalk!
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What happened?
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Well, you parked your car
over the sidewalk.
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Where I was walking.
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So I crawled under your car
and my ponytail got stuck.
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Now I got a car stuck in my ponytail
and I'm fucked!
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I need a little help.
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Okay, fine. I'll go get us scissors.
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No, no, no!
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Stop! Stop them!
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- What's wrong?
- Said you were gonna cut off my ponytail.
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You broke the rules.
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I'm not gonna leave here worse off.
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We'll get your ponytail out
without hurting it.
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Help! Help!
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Without hurting it.
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- Oh, I thought you said with hurting it.
- Okay.
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I can't tell how much is stuck up there.
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- How long is your ponytail?
- I just took a picture last night. Here.
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Take my phone. Look at my photos.
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It's all screenshots of cigars.
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Yeah, just scroll past them.
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It looks like it goes down
just past your butthole.
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Hey, who parked on the sidewalk?
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That's very dangerous for us.
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Yeah, thank you, but I got this.
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Want to make sure they said sorry.
'Cause you can't park there.
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Get the fuck outta here.
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- Make me.
- What?
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- I can do whatever I want.
- Do you know this guy?
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- No. Why would I?
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Someone named Ray H. is texting you.
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- What'd he say?
-"Where are you?"
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"Can't seat us until you're here."
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Tell Ray to tell them
that they can seat us.
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"I am here. I'm in the bathroom.
I'm having a terrible time."
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Then Google "disgusting diarrhea in bowl"
image search.
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- Oh God.
- I'm cutting you out.
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- No!
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Ray says the maître d'
has seen this picture before.
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Goddammit!
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- I know how to get him out.
- Shut the fuck up!
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- I don't have to.
- God, get away from here!
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No. I can enjoy the street
just like anyone.
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Oh-ho-ho!
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Yes!
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Put his hand in dog shit.
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Yes!
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Six eggs.
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What?
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Six? I did, like, 25.
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- Hey, Marcus, can I have a word?
- Yeah. What's up?
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Not looking to step on your toes,
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but I am just a little frustrated
to say the least.
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Okay.
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You and Mackenzie used to run this team,
but you have to loop me in
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- when there are developments.
- Thought I did.
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Had no idea Ray was coming into town
next week. You never told me.
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- I did tell you.
- It's not just Parker and I.
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Rachel says you haven't been CCing her
on anything in a month.
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Not true.
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- Rachel, can you please come in here?
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- I work so hard here.
- True, true.
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I put my blood, sweat, and tears
into this project.
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- You're a rock star.
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I work to get things in on time. But I
can't do that if you hoard the file assets
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and don't release them to me
until you're completely ready.
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...the last second.
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- Yes.
- It piles up.
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{\an8}You understand that?
If you don't get your act together,
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- gonna be consequences, understand?
- You now have 40 eggs.
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- Do you?
- That one egg was 40 eggs?
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What are you talking about?
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Supposed to put as many eggs
as you can in its mouth,
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but when you do it, look. Watch.
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41 eggs. You win.
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- Oh, it's working now.
- Congrats, big boy.
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- What the hell is this?
- Don't know. Never gotten here.
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It's got a bush? What the hell?
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What is this?
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- Oh my God.
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- What are you looking at?
- Don't know. Never gotten here.
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This is serious.
Can't look at porn in the office.
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Porn?
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That's a nude egg I won from my game.
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I'm not in trouble at all. Now...
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We should be able
to look at a little porn at work.
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♪ Baby, baby, baby, baby, bay-bay-bay ♪
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♪ Whoa, baby, baby, bay-bay-bay ♪
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Okay, so has anyone here ever been
to a live taping of a sitcom before?
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It's pretty easy.
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You're here to do one thing: laugh.
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- See those microphones?
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00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:51,068
Those are recording you,
and you are going to be part of the show.
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So let me hear it.
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Just keep those laughs big
because millions of people watch the show,
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and they're going to hear
your voice on TV.
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00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:03,997
That's cool.
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00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,792
- Millions of people will hear our voice?
- Yeah.
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00:11:08,502 --> 00:11:10,504
- You're really nice.
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00:11:10,504 --> 00:11:13,924
- Next stop: a little place we all know as...
201
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:15,718
Al's Coffee Shop!
202
00:11:18,971 --> 00:11:21,265
And... action!
203
00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,475
How'd your date go from your dating app?
204
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:26,311
- Think it might not be a dating app.
- What do you mean?
205
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,730
I showed up and a whole band was there.
206
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:32,234
- Any of them cute?
- Hope so. Signed 'em to a two-album deal.
207
00:11:34,319 --> 00:11:37,865
- Better than your last date.
- She still writes me from jail.
208
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:41,034
TK Jewelers is a scam.
209
00:11:43,787 --> 00:11:45,122
The jewelry's fake.
210
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,835
Watch exploded on date.
211
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:54,756
Bent wrist, thing fucking exploded.
212
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:57,384
- If I can make this podcast my main job...
- Shh!
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00:11:58,760 --> 00:11:59,887
Guys.
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00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,184
- Big news.
- The McRib's back?
215
00:12:06,518 --> 00:12:08,395
L&L Limos is a scam.
216
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,857
The driver told me to shut up.
217
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:15,110
Is anyone else picking up chatter
in the audience?
218
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,403
He hugged my date.
219
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,614
Oh yeah, someone's definitely talking.
220
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:21,658
- Didn't have full use of limo.
- What?
221
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,535
Part of limo sealed off.
222
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:24,953
Guys, we gotta cut.
223
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,497
- Cut, cut, cut!
224
00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:30,375
All right, guys, we're getting
some commentary from the sound guys.
225
00:12:30,375 --> 00:12:33,337
You're just supposed to laugh, not talk.
226
00:12:33,337 --> 00:12:34,755
Was anybody talking?
227
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:41,887
Was anyone here ripped off by a place
called TK Jewelers and L&L Limos?
228
00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:44,932
- And Avani Suits.
- Okay, sir.
229
00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:48,227
- You can't talk. You understand?
- Yep.
230
00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:51,313
- Okay.
- But what about after the laughs?
231
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:53,023
There's, like, a space.
232
00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,692
No, that's what we're saying.
233
00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,611
Got it. Won't happen again.
234
00:12:57,611 --> 00:12:58,695
Sorry.
235
00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:02,991
What do you mean, the limo driver
had an area you couldn't go in?
236
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:07,412
Oh, yeah, well,
he had a piece of plywood painted black.
237
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,957
Like it was the, uh, wall of the limo.
238
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:14,336
Like it was the end of the limo.
But I could hear people in there.
239
00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:17,297
And there was a part of it
that was over the ice tray.
240
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,675
And sometimes we'd see a hand
241
00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:23,428
come under and grab the ice tray
to pull it to their side.
242
00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:26,056
And the hand had a Super Bowl ring on it.
243
00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,475
And every few minutes,
244
00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:32,604
the wall would push up,
like they were trying to get more space.
245
00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:35,816
When I asked the driver what was going on,
he said, "Shut up."
246
00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,694
- Why didn't you say anything?
- I did. He said, "Shut up."
247
00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:41,363
You can't do anything
when someone says shut up.
248
00:13:41,363 --> 00:13:44,324
I hadn't been on a date in ten years.
249
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,995
TK Jewelers sold me a watch
that exploded every which way.
250
00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,872
You said it exploded
when you bent your wrist?
251
00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,833
Yeah, I was showing my date
252
00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,794
a picture of a bunny
and what the bunny was doing
253
00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:58,714
and then 150 springs hit her in the face.
254
00:13:58,714 --> 00:14:02,050
The springs went in her soup.
There was 300 springs in her soup.
255
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,678
- Sounds like a really bad date.
- Sucked.
256
00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,888
Just try not to interrupt.
257
00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:10,684
You said millions of people
were gonna hear our voices.
258
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:13,979
- I'm just a man looking for love.
259
00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:15,689
A lot of these places,
260
00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:19,735
they try and rip off people like me,
people looking for love.
261
00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:22,070
Well, I guess we could
262
00:14:22,070 --> 00:14:24,990
leave some of it in
if it will help some people.
263
00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,577
Yeah, right? A little goes a long way.
264
00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,662
All you gotta do is try.
265
00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,123
All right, from the top! Let's go.
266
00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:35,334
- Yeah!
267
00:14:39,379 --> 00:14:42,007
All right, and... action!
268
00:14:42,007 --> 00:14:44,092
♪ Somewhere in the static ♪
269
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,055
- ♪ Snow on the cassette ♪
270
00:14:49,056 --> 00:14:51,475
♪ I used up all my magic ♪
271
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:54,603
♪ So I'm calling you collect ♪
272
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:58,398
♪ I can take a lot ♪
273
00:14:59,858 --> 00:15:01,735
♪ And make it out all right ♪
274
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,280
♪ I got put through the ringer ♪
275
00:15:06,490 --> 00:15:08,742
♪ You should see the other guy ♪
276
00:15:11,203 --> 00:15:13,956
♪ If I could do it over ♪
277
00:15:14,623 --> 00:15:17,376
♪ I'd do it all again ♪
278
00:15:17,376 --> 00:15:21,004
♪ I was waiting on the moment ♪
279
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,422
♪ Is this it? ♪
280
00:15:24,716 --> 00:15:27,427
♪ I was waiting on the moment ♪
281
00:15:27,427 --> 00:15:34,017
♪ Is this it? ♪
282
00:15:35,143 --> 00:15:37,437
♪ Is this it? ♪
283
00:15:45,570 --> 00:15:49,032
♪ Is this it? ♪
284
00:15:59,376 --> 00:16:00,794
What the hell?
285
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:36,830
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
286
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:40,834
♪ Oh ♪
287
00:16:41,918 --> 00:16:44,838
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
288
00:16:44,838 --> 00:16:46,840
♪ Yeah ♪
289
00:16:50,969 --> 00:16:52,929
{\an8} Zanin Corp.