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Inilah Supermarket Swap,
edisi realiti maya!
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00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:13,890
Mari bertemu pasukan bapa-anak kita,
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00:00:13,890 --> 00:00:16,392
{\an8}Mitchell dan Terdana.
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00:00:16,392 --> 00:00:19,854
- Baiklah, Mitchell.
- Kami pilih kategori Cekut.
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00:00:19,854 --> 00:00:22,523
Baiklah, kategori Cekut.
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00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:26,944
Strudel Kraft Toaster Pop 'Ems
atau Mini Corn Dog Tyson?
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00:00:27,695 --> 00:00:29,405
Strudel Pop 'Ems kurang.
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00:00:30,198 --> 00:00:32,241
Dapat belanja sakan maya!
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00:00:32,241 --> 00:00:34,202
Macam itulah!
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00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,787
- Siapa buat?
- Ayah.
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00:00:35,787 --> 00:00:37,121
Ayah akan buat!
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00:00:37,121 --> 00:00:38,664
Berikan saya semua itu!
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00:00:39,248 --> 00:00:40,124
Belanja sakan.
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Awak tahu caranya.
Ambil barang sebanyak mungkin
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00:00:43,753 --> 00:00:46,631
tanpa melebihi had $500.
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00:00:46,631 --> 00:00:48,841
- Awak sedia?
- Tak sabar rasanya!
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00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:51,761
Baiklah, masa ditetapkan selama 30 saat.
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00:00:51,761 --> 00:00:56,390
Dalam tiga, dua, satu. Mulakan!
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00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:59,602
SEPARUH HARGA
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00:01:03,731 --> 00:01:05,108
Ayuh, ayah!
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00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:07,527
Ambil gula-gula getah!
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Letak ke dalam troli! Ayuh!
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00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:11,948
- Ayah?
- Rasanya dia tak bernafas.
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00:01:12,532 --> 00:01:14,700
Ayah? Ayah bernafas tak?
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- Dia tak bernafas.
- Ayah?
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00:01:16,410 --> 00:01:18,037
- Ayah!
- Bernafas, Mike!
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00:01:18,037 --> 00:01:20,289
- Bernafas!
- Buka mulut!
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- Apa? Bernafas!
- Bernafas!
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- En. Mitchell! Bernafas!
- Bernafas!
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- Bernafas!
- Hentikan!
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Tanggalkan!
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REALITI MAYA LUAR TALIAN
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- Sarung tangan!
- Cepat!
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00:01:57,910 --> 00:01:59,745
Kenapa tak boleh bernafas?
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00:02:03,166 --> 00:02:05,042
Saya tak tahu cara nak bergerak.
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Itu awak. Awak di dalam sana.
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Awak hanya perlu bernafas.
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00:02:12,466 --> 00:02:14,218
Bernafas macam biasa.
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00:02:18,556 --> 00:02:20,683
Apa kata kembali ke tempat awak?
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00:02:23,728 --> 00:02:25,980
- Macam mana nak bergerak?
- Apa?
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Saya tak boleh berjalan.
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- Betul?
- Ya.
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Saya terlalu banyak fikir.
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- Habislah saya.
- Ayah!
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- Mike?
- Ayah!
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Mike, apa yang berlaku?
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- Apa terjadi?
- Nafas!
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- Bernafas!
- Bernafaslah!
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Bernafas! Tolonglah, ayah!
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Bernafas saja!
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00:02:53,883 --> 00:02:55,217
Ayah!
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{\an8}BAIK AWAK PERGI
BERSAMA TIM ROBINSON
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00:03:05,227 --> 00:03:07,229
Pintu anjing boleh jadi masalah.
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00:03:07,229 --> 00:03:10,274
Anjing anda keluar,
tapi benda lain boleh masuk.
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00:03:10,274 --> 00:03:14,028
Pintu Anjing Darmine
ialah pintu canggih terkini
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00:03:14,028 --> 00:03:15,780
daripada Peranti Darmine.
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00:03:15,780 --> 00:03:20,826
Pintu ini automatik sepenuhnya,
diaktifkan oleh cip kolar anjing anda.
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00:03:20,826 --> 00:03:23,913
Tiada haiwan perosak,
maka tiada penceroboh.
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00:03:23,913 --> 00:03:26,290
Malah tiada masalah ini.
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Saya nampak makhluk itu.
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Ia datang semasa saya di sofa.
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Khinzir!
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Apa hal?
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00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,771
Apa hal?
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Jiran saya pakaikan
topeng Richard Nixon pada khinzir
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00:03:52,400 --> 00:03:54,151
dan suruh ia guna pintu anjing.
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Kami berbalah hal sempadan tanah.
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Alih dari semak saya!
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Caci saya pembohong,
pencuri macam Nixon dan khinzir.
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Awak khinzir!
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00:04:01,951 --> 00:04:03,953
Saya tak tahu
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kerana saya tak tidur lena
sejak isteri saya diterbalikkan penari.
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Dia terbalikkan lapan kali!
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Saya tak senang duduk.
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00:04:12,795 --> 00:04:15,047
Apabila tak boleh tidur,
nampak makhluk itu,
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anda bukan fikir sambil kata,
"Itu khinzir bertopeng."
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Sebaliknya, "Makhluk itu akan bunuh saya.
Ia wujud dan hidup di Bumi."
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Saya sangka saya akan dimakan!
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Saya bukan bodoh sangat.
Saya tahu itu khinzir.
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Cuma dalam 50 saat, rasa macam wujud.
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Apabila anda terus fikir,
"Bagus, tak perlu pergi kerja esok."
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Anda lega kerana sangka akan dimakan?
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Apa masalah dunia ini?
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00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:42,992
Apa mereka buat kepada kita?
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Apa mereka buat?
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Hari itu amat penting
kerana sekarang saya sedar,
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saya tak suka kerja.
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{\an8}Pintu Anjing Darmine!
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{\an8}Haiwan gembira, tenang jiwa!
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{\an8}Macam-macam boleh jadi di dunia.
Tak banyak kita tahu.
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Hidup saya tak macam dijangka.
Segala kerisauan dah terjadi.
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{\an8}Selama 50 saat, saya sangka
raksasa wujud di dunia.
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- Mary! Masuklah.
- Hai!
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Saya nak hantar mangkuk awak.
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Terima kasih untuk salad Khamis lalu.
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- Majlis yang bagus.
- Sangat bagus.
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Tolong!
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Tolong!
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- Oh, Tuhan!
- Tak boleh letak kereta di kaki lima!
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Apa yang terjadi?
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Awak letak kereta di sini.
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Laluan saya berjalan.
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Saya merangkak di bawah kereta
dan rambut tersangkut.
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Kereta tersangkut pada rambut saya.
Susah betul!
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Saya perlu bantuan.
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Baiklah. Saya akan ambil gunting.
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Tidak!
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Berhenti! Halang mereka!
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- Kenapa?
- Awak kata nak potong rambut saya!
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Awak melanggar peraturan.
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00:06:19,421 --> 00:06:21,382
Saya tak nak jadi mangsa.
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Kami akan keluarkan rambut awak
tanpa rasa sakit.
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Tolong!
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Tanpa rasa sakit.
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- Ingatkan awak kata akan sakit.
- Okey.
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Entah berapa banyak yang tersangkut.
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- Berapa panjang rambut awak?
- Saya baru ambil gambar semalam. Nah.
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Ambil telefon saya. Lihatlah foto saya.
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Semua ini tangkapan skrin cerut.
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Ya, tatal saja.
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Nampaknya panjang sampai lubang dubur.
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Hei, siapa letak kereta di kaki lima?
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Sangat berbahaya untuk kami.
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Terima kasih. Saya boleh uruskan.
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00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:08,929
Pastikan mereka minta maaf.
Tak boleh letak kereta di situ.
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Pergi dari sini!
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- Jangan harap.
- Apa?
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00:07:13,267 --> 00:07:15,019
Saya boleh buat sesuka hati.
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- Awak kenal dia?
- Tak. Kenapa nak kenal dia?
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Ray H. hantar mesej kepada awak.
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- Apa katanya?
- "Mana awak?"
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"Tak boleh masuk melainkan awak sampai."
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Suruh Ray beritahu mereka
yang kami boleh masuk.
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"Saya ada di bilik air.
Saya alami masalah."
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Cari imej Google,
"cirit-birit dalam mangkuk tandas."
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- Oh, Tuhan.
- Potong rambut.
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Tidak!
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Ray kata penyambut pelanggan
dah tengok gambar ini.
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Tak guna!
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- Saya tahu cara nak keluarkan.
- Diam!
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- Saya tak perlu diam.
- Pergi dari sini!
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Tidak. Saya boleh menikmati jalan
macam orang lain.
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Hore!
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Tangan kena tahi anjing.
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Hore!
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BERI MAKAN TELUR
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Enam biji telur.
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Apa?
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00:08:32,054 --> 00:08:34,139
Enam? Saya dah beri 25 biji.
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00:08:36,934 --> 00:08:39,520
- Marcus, boleh saya cakap?
- Ada apa?
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00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,438
Saya tak nak awak tersinggung,
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tapi sebenarnya agak kecewa.
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Okey.
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Awak dan Mackenzie pimpin pasukan,
tapi patut libatkan saya
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- apabila ada perkembangan.
- Ingatkan ada.
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00:08:52,616 --> 00:08:56,495
Saya tak tahu Ray datang minggu depan.
Awak tak pernah cakap.
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00:08:56,495 --> 00:08:58,205
- Ada cakap.
- Tiga telur.
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00:08:58,205 --> 00:09:00,082
Bukan hanya saya dan Parker.
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00:09:00,082 --> 00:09:04,086
Rachel cakap awak tak pernah
rangkumkan dia dalam sebulan.
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00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,045
Tak benar.
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00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:07,548
Rachel, boleh awak masuk ke sini?
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00:09:10,217 --> 00:09:12,344
- Saya bekerja keras.
- Betul.
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00:09:12,344 --> 00:09:15,347
Darah, keringat dan air mata
untuk projek ini.
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00:09:15,347 --> 00:09:17,516
- Awak hebat.
- Dua biji telur.
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Saya cuba siapkan tepat masa.
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00:09:19,351 --> 00:09:22,354
Saya tak boleh buat kalau awak sorok fail
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dan tak serah kepada saya
sehingga awak benar-benar sedia.
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00:09:26,275 --> 00:09:29,361
Awak kehabisan telur.
Mahu beli 80 pek telur?
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00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:30,487
...saat akhir!
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00:09:30,487 --> 00:09:32,114
- Ya.
- Nampak? Bertimbun.
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00:09:32,114 --> 00:09:35,576
Faham? Kalau awak tak betulkan cara,
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00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,871
- besar akibatnya nanti.
- Awak ada 40 biji telur.
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00:09:38,871 --> 00:09:41,206
- Faham?
- Sebiji telur sama 40?
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00:09:41,206 --> 00:09:42,708
Apa yang awak cakapkan?
175
00:09:42,708 --> 00:09:45,294
Masukkan telur sebanyak mungkin
ke dalam mulut,
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00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:47,463
tapi apabila dah buat, tengoklah.
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00:09:47,463 --> 00:09:49,298
41 biji telur. Awak menang.
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00:09:49,298 --> 00:09:52,259
- Dah elok sekarang.
- Tahniah, budak besar.
179
00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:55,554
- Apa semua ini?
- Entahlah. Tak pernah sampai sini.
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00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,684
Ada bulu kemaluan? Apa?
181
00:10:00,684 --> 00:10:02,227
Apa benda ini?
182
00:10:11,487 --> 00:10:13,989
- Inilah telur bogel.
- Oh, Tuhan.
183
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:16,742
- Apa yang awak pandang?
- Tak pernah sampai!
184
00:10:16,742 --> 00:10:19,620
Serius. Dilarang tengok
video lucah di pejabat.
185
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,246
Lucah?
186
00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,666
Saya menang telur bogel.
187
00:10:24,333 --> 00:10:26,627
Tak salah pun. Sekarang...
188
00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:30,381
Kita sepatutnya boleh tonton
sedikit bahan lucah di pejabat.
189
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:40,557
Okey, ada sesiapa pernah tonton
rakaman langsung sitkom?
190
00:10:40,557 --> 00:10:42,434
Agak mudah.
191
00:10:42,434 --> 00:10:44,812
Tugas kamu di sini hanya untuk ketawa.
192
00:10:44,812 --> 00:10:46,814
Nampak mikrofon itu?
193
00:10:46,814 --> 00:10:51,068
Suara kamu dirakam
dan dimasukkan dalam rancangan ini.
194
00:10:51,068 --> 00:10:52,152
Biar saya dengar.
195
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,698
Teruskan ketawa dengan kuat
196
00:10:55,698 --> 00:10:58,867
kerana berjuta-juta orang
menonton rancangan ini
197
00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:02,496
dan mereka akan dengar suara kamu di TV.
198
00:11:02,496 --> 00:11:03,997
Hebatnya.
199
00:11:03,997 --> 00:11:06,792
- Berjuta-juta orang dengar suara kita?
- Ya.
200
00:11:08,585 --> 00:11:09,753
Awak memang baik.
201
00:11:10,963 --> 00:11:13,924
Seterusnya, tempat kecil
kita kenali sebagai
202
00:11:13,924 --> 00:11:15,718
Kedai Kopi Al!
203
00:11:18,971 --> 00:11:21,265
Mula!
204
00:11:21,265 --> 00:11:23,475
Bagaimana janji temu aplikasi awak?
205
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:26,311
- Saya rasa mungkin bukan aplikasi itu.
- Apa?
206
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,730
Saya tiba mereka memang ada.
207
00:11:29,273 --> 00:11:32,234
Harap-harap.
Dapat perjanjian dua album.
208
00:11:34,403 --> 00:11:37,865
- Lebih baik daripada teman lalu.
- Masih utus surat dari penjara.
209
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,034
Kedai Emas TK penipu.
210
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,122
Barang kemas palsu.
211
00:11:47,332 --> 00:11:49,835
Jam tangan meletup semasa janji temu.
212
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,756
Pergelangan tangan bengkok, jam meletup.
213
00:11:54,756 --> 00:11:58,760
- Jika podcast kerja utama saya...
- Awak bekerja?
214
00:11:58,760 --> 00:11:59,887
Kamu semua.
215
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:05,184
- Berita penting.
- McRib kembali?
216
00:12:06,602 --> 00:12:08,395
L&L Limos penipu.
217
00:12:09,938 --> 00:12:11,857
Pemandu suruh saya diam.
218
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:15,110
Kamu dengar penonton berborak?
219
00:12:15,110 --> 00:12:16,403
Dia peluk teman saya.
220
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:18,614
Ya, pasti ada yang bercakap.
221
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:20,407
Tak guna limousin sepenuhnya.
222
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:21,658
Apa?
223
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,535
Sebahagian kereta ditutup.
224
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:24,953
Kita perlu berhenti.
225
00:12:24,953 --> 00:12:26,497
Berhenti!
226
00:12:26,497 --> 00:12:27,539
Baiklah, semua.
227
00:12:27,539 --> 00:12:30,375
Staf audio beri komen kepada kami.
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Kamu sepatutnya ketawa, bukan bercakap.
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Ada sesiapa bercakap?
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00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:41,887
Adakah sesiapa di sini ditipu
oleh Kedai Emas TK dan L&L Limos?
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00:12:41,887 --> 00:12:44,932
- Sut Avani juga.
- Okey.
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00:12:44,932 --> 00:12:48,227
- Awak tak boleh bercakap. Faham?
- Ya.
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00:12:48,227 --> 00:12:50,145
- Okey.
- Bagaimana selepas ketawa?
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00:12:51,396 --> 00:12:53,023
selepas ketawa? Ada sela kosong.
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00:12:53,941 --> 00:12:55,692
Tak, kami tak benarkan.
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00:12:55,692 --> 00:12:57,611
Faham. Saya takkan buat lagi.
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Maaf.
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00:12:58,695 --> 00:13:02,991
Apa maksudnya pemandu limousin
ada bahagian tak boleh dicapai?
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00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:07,412
Ya, pemandu letak
sekeping papan lapis dicat hitam.
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00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:09,957
Macam dinding limousin itu.
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00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:14,336
Pada hujung limo.
Namun, saya dapat dengar ada orang.
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00:13:14,336 --> 00:13:17,297
Malah ada bahagian di atas dulang ais.
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00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,675
Kadang-kadang boleh nampak tangan
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00:13:19,675 --> 00:13:23,428
dari bawah dan tarik dulang ais
ke sebelah mereka.
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00:13:23,428 --> 00:13:26,056
Pada jarinya ada cincin Super Bowl.
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00:13:26,848 --> 00:13:28,475
Setiap beberapa minit,
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dinding ditolak ke depan
macam mereka cuba besarkan ruang.
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00:13:32,604 --> 00:13:35,816
Apabila saya tanya pemandu,
dia kata, "Diam."
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00:13:35,816 --> 00:13:38,694
- Kenapa tak balas?
- Ada. Dia kata, "Diam."
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00:13:38,694 --> 00:13:41,572
Mana boleh buat apa-apa
kalau orang suruh diam.
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00:13:41,572 --> 00:13:43,740
Dah sepuluh tahun saya tak keluar dating.
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00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:47,995
Kedai Emas TK jual jam tangan
yang meletup ke semua arah.
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00:13:47,995 --> 00:13:50,872
Meletup sampai bengkok
pergelangan tangan awak?
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00:13:50,872 --> 00:13:52,833
Ya, saya tunjukkan teman saya
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00:13:52,833 --> 00:13:55,794
gambar arnab
dan apa yang dilakukan arnab itu.
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00:13:55,794 --> 00:13:59,798
Kemudian, 150 spring melantun
ke muka dan sup dia.
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00:13:59,798 --> 00:14:02,050
Ada 300 spring di dalam supnya.
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00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:04,678
- Macam dating yang sangat teruk.
- Dahsyat.
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00:14:04,678 --> 00:14:06,888
Cuba untuk tak mengganggu.
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00:14:06,888 --> 00:14:10,684
Awak kata berjuta-juta orang
akan dengar suara kami.
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00:14:11,602 --> 00:14:13,979
Saya hanya lelaki yang mencari cinta.
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00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:15,689
Banyak tempat
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00:14:15,689 --> 00:14:19,735
cuba ambil kesempatan dengan orang
yang mencari cinta macam saya.
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00:14:19,735 --> 00:14:22,070
Saya rasa kami boleh
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biar sebahagiannya
jika dapat bantu orang lain.
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00:14:26,241 --> 00:14:28,577
Betul, bukan? Biar sikit, janji baik.
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00:14:28,577 --> 00:14:30,662
Asalkan kita cuba.
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00:14:30,662 --> 00:14:33,123
Baiklah, dari mula! Ayuh.
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00:14:33,123 --> 00:14:34,458
Ya!
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00:14:39,463 --> 00:14:42,007
Baiklah, mula!
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00:15:59,459 --> 00:16:00,794
Apa hal?
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00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:46,840
Terjemahan sari kata oleh NH Azizan