1
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:12,346
我知道,這週有費爾菲爾德
分公司的人來,地方有點擠

2
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:15,141
不過希望大家忍忍
畢竟年末審計需要

3
00:00:15,141 --> 00:00:18,561
大家把收入與支出報告做出來

4
00:00:18,561 --> 00:00:21,230
有什麼需要儘管來找我

5
00:00:30,990 --> 00:00:32,658
剛剛怎麼啦?

6
00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:35,870
是冷氣機,開機的時候會很吵

7
00:00:35,870 --> 00:00:37,663
嚇我一大跳

8
00:00:37,663 --> 00:00:40,333
我還以為是打雷呢

9
00:00:40,333 --> 00:00:42,752
我以為有卡車撞進來了

10
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:45,671
我還以為是火山爆發

11
00:00:45,671 --> 00:00:46,964
不會吧?

12
00:00:47,924 --> 00:00:50,259
-你以為是火山爆發?
-是啊

13
00:00:54,806 --> 00:00:56,766
火山?紹斯菲爾德哪有火山?

14
00:00:57,683 --> 00:00:59,560
這人想象力好豐富哦

15
00:01:00,436 --> 00:01:03,272
好了各位,幹活了

16
00:01:03,815 --> 00:01:05,274
很好

17
00:01:06,609 --> 00:01:07,485
很棒的

18
00:01:23,334 --> 00:01:25,753
我還以為這是把小刀

19
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:28,548
-哈?
-我以為這支筆是把刀

20
00:01:28,548 --> 00:01:29,882
就那種小匕首啊

21
00:01:31,551 --> 00:01:33,386
哦,哇

22
00:01:33,386 --> 00:01:35,096
我真這麼想的

23
00:01:50,945 --> 00:01:52,405
我以為這是個小皮條客喔

24
00:01:53,072 --> 00:01:54,824
就這隻熒光筆?

25
00:01:54,824 --> 00:01:57,702
我以為是個小皮條客在走來走去

26
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:07,253
什麼鬼?

27
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:17,221
-這是被燒過嗎?
-別再看來看去了!

28
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,523
我還以為剛剛過去的是個尸體袋

29
00:02:27,523 --> 00:02:30,693
蘭道爾,公司裡怎麼可能會
有人運個尸體袋到處...

30
00:02:30,693 --> 00:02:33,863
-卡車撞進來就有可能啦?
-我當時這麼以為而已

31
00:02:33,863 --> 00:02:35,573
那我也是以為他運了個尸體袋啊!

32
00:02:35,573 --> 00:02:38,618
你以為有人拿個袋子裝了尸體

33
00:02:38,618 --> 00:02:41,078
然後一個個辦公室秀來秀去?

34
00:02:41,078 --> 00:02:43,039
是不是秀來秀去我就不知道了

35
00:02:43,039 --> 00:02:47,460
你又不知道我腦子裡都想的什麼
世界在我眼中就是這麼瘋狂的

36
00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:49,045
我看到一個東西

37
00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:52,506
想到的是別的,比如一個、一個...

38
00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,467
-想不到什麼吧
-想得到!

39
00:02:54,467 --> 00:02:55,927
-就是不敢說,怕得罪人!
-說啊

40
00:02:56,969 --> 00:02:58,429
-別這樣
-沒事,想到什麼?

41
00:02:58,429 --> 00:03:01,766
在座各位都很寬容的
你看見什麼就說嘛

42
00:03:01,766 --> 00:03:04,226
-我他媽看見一個雞雞
-怎麼回事?

43
00:03:04,226 --> 00:03:06,979
阿曼達說蘭道爾有想象力

44
00:03:06,979 --> 00:03:08,147
天啊

45
00:03:09,649 --> 00:03:10,942
過來一下好嗎?

46
00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,031
他說什麼,你絕對不能說好玩

47
00:03:17,031 --> 00:03:18,366
也不能說好

48
00:03:18,366 --> 00:03:21,243
不然他就會沒完沒了

49
00:03:21,243 --> 00:03:22,745
不停找東西來說了

50
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:25,706
-好的,明白了,抱歉
-阿曼達

51
00:03:25,706 --> 00:03:27,792
千萬不能說蘭道爾有意思

52
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:15,172
{\an8}劇名:太超過囖!
主演:提姆羅賓森

53
00:04:18,384 --> 00:04:20,720
太棒了!你們真的沒做過模特嗎?

54
00:04:23,014 --> 00:04:25,850
嘿,新娘來一張,新娘過來

55
00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:28,227
-好吧
-過來,人越多越好

56
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:31,272
都想跟新娘合影啊,今晚主角喔

57
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:34,400
-來嘛,爸爸,你也來
-你們自己玩吧

58
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:37,278
來啦,快過來,不能拒絕新娘啊

59
00:04:37,278 --> 00:04:38,946
好吧

60
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,073
大家看鏡頭

61
00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:44,785
我來倒數,大家看鏡頭,微笑

62
00:04:44,785 --> 00:04:47,038
好極,我自投羅網了

63
00:04:47,038 --> 00:04:50,750
-好啦老爸,你沒問題的啦
-多謝

64
00:04:50,750 --> 00:04:53,627
大家微笑喔,三、二、一

65
00:04:53,627 --> 00:04:55,379
喔,真不錯!

66
00:04:55,379 --> 00:04:57,048
個個都是專業的

67
00:04:57,048 --> 00:04:59,550
-算了吧
-再來張搞怪的

68
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:00,926
都去拿一個道具

69
00:05:00,926 --> 00:05:02,219
做點搞怪表情

70
00:05:03,429 --> 00:05:05,723
好啦,拿道具

71
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,060
好啦,開始囖

72
00:05:09,060 --> 00:05:13,147
記住要微笑,三、二、一

73
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:16,817
天哪

74
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:19,904
操,搞那麼急幹什麼!

75
00:05:20,654 --> 00:05:25,034
三秒鐘就要想出搞怪點子?太難了!

76
00:05:25,034 --> 00:05:27,161
天哪,老爸

77
00:05:27,161 --> 00:05:28,496
我急了,好吧

78
00:05:28,496 --> 00:05:30,623
被這個紫色羽毛嗆到了

79
00:05:30,623 --> 00:05:34,043
一支紫色羽毛,我能拿來幹什麼?

80
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:38,214
可以扮飛來波女郎哦

81
00:05:38,214 --> 00:05:39,256
扮什麼?

82
00:05:39,256 --> 00:05:41,425
就那種1920年的舞女啊

83
00:05:41,425 --> 00:05:43,177
操!我還不如扮恐龍仔班尼呢

84
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:45,763
-怎麼扮?
-這個當班尼的頭髮啊

85
00:05:45,763 --> 00:05:48,307
“看啊,我是班尼
這是班尼的頭髮”

86
00:05:48,307 --> 00:05:50,768
-班尼又沒頭髮
-你閉嘴行不?

87
00:05:50,768 --> 00:05:54,063
它是布做的,布上有毛
那不就是頭髮嗎

88
00:05:55,147 --> 00:05:56,649
它連嘴裡都長毛呢

89
00:05:56,649 --> 00:05:59,360
它是布做的!布上都是毛

90
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:01,779
搞什麼怪嘛

91
00:06:01,779 --> 00:06:05,825
-生意的事情都夠我頭大的了
-你說什麼呢?

92
00:06:05,825 --> 00:06:09,912
班尼有頭髮,把那破眼鏡給我
我們再拍一次

93
00:06:09,912 --> 00:06:11,372
你去哪?

94
00:06:11,372 --> 00:06:14,708
去休息!反正我已經跟主角拍過了

95
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:17,962
-我喜歡剛剛拍的
-那是因為你沒有生意上的煩惱

96
00:06:17,962 --> 00:06:21,465
當然有!多了!有15個
投資人想要我的"牌令球”呢

97
00:06:21,465 --> 00:06:23,259
“牌令球”是什麼鬼?

98
00:06:23,259 --> 00:06:24,301
是個遊戲

99
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:25,636
-聽起來可不好玩
-行啊

100
00:06:25,636 --> 00:06:28,889
巴特李跟我吃了六頓飯了
不好玩才怪!

101
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,142
-巴特李是誰?
-聽說過約翰李斯特嗎?

102
00:06:31,142 --> 00:06:33,227
-沒
-你對遊戲界一無所知

103
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,229
會玩算什麼本事

104
00:06:37,648 --> 00:06:39,358
停!我讓你停!

105
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:41,485
不許再跳了!

106
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:43,154
停下!

107
00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:45,072
-停下!
-別再跳了!

108
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:47,241
-我什麼都沒幹!
-給我停!

109
00:06:47,241 --> 00:06:48,617
好

110
00:06:53,914 --> 00:06:55,624
是吧?

111
00:06:55,624 --> 00:06:57,418
住得近就是好

112
00:06:57,418 --> 00:07:01,297
是啊,我一聽他們在
克利夫蘭開會就好高興

113
00:07:01,297 --> 00:07:03,966
我不用出差,走路就能到

114
00:07:03,966 --> 00:07:06,177
還能在家開派對

115
00:07:07,219 --> 00:07:11,265
難得在週六早上不用
一大早送孩子去足球班

116
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:14,852
他們很喜歡足球,就是我...

117
00:07:15,394 --> 00:07:17,438
好了,我又來了,一聊就聊孩子

118
00:07:18,189 --> 00:07:19,773
-是啊
-幫個忙

119
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:21,775
下次記得提醒我

120
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,943
-確實
-謝了

121
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,653
-會的
-沒問題

122
00:07:24,653 --> 00:07:26,071
好了

123
00:07:26,071 --> 00:07:27,656
你們有沒有去過...

124
00:07:30,242 --> 00:07:31,702
放心吧

125
00:07:32,870 --> 00:07:34,830
-好
-知道我想去哪個嗎?

126
00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:36,582
放心

127
00:07:37,124 --> 00:07:39,919
你再也不用聊孩子了

128
00:07:43,422 --> 00:07:45,341
-一起去啊
-好啊

129
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:50,054
-西部海岸的雪更好
-呃、我年紀大啦

130
00:07:50,054 --> 00:07:52,139
怕拉傷韌帶

131
00:07:52,139 --> 00:07:54,016
不過我的孩子最愛滑雪了

132
00:07:54,016 --> 00:07:57,186
我女兒穿一套小滑雪裝,滑得飛快

133
00:07:57,186 --> 00:08:01,023
嘿,大家看我!我在騎狗喔!

134
00:08:07,947 --> 00:08:10,616
你還真是總是這樣喔,是吧?

135
00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:11,992
-哪樣?
-三句話不離孩子啊

136
00:08:11,992 --> 00:08:15,663
為了制止你,我都得裝作騎狗了

137
00:08:17,790 --> 00:08:19,250
沒事

138
00:08:20,167 --> 00:08:23,295
別他媽的再連累我了!

139
00:08:25,506 --> 00:08:26,840
《金錢塔》裡的

140
00:08:27,424 --> 00:08:28,842
喂,別煩我的狗!

141
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:30,636
好啦,別煩我的狗了

142
00:08:30,636 --> 00:08:32,096
讓開

143
00:08:32,096 --> 00:08:34,098
-不錯啊
-邁阿密很不錯

144
00:08:34,098 --> 00:08:37,560
-他們的夜店文化
-是不錯,我去年春天去過

145
00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:39,103
自己去的?

146
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:43,774
-帶孩子去的
-操!

147
00:08:43,774 --> 00:08:44,817
大家看過來!

148
00:08:58,372 --> 00:08:59,623
-喂!
-喂!

149
00:08:59,623 --> 00:09:01,834
-你幹嘛啊?
-我又沒聊他們的事

150
00:09:01,834 --> 00:09:03,752
聊了,我長著耳朵的好吧

151
00:09:03,752 --> 00:09:07,047
-你沒必要這樣啊
-我這人言出必行

152
00:09:07,548 --> 00:09:09,717
好了,散開,夠了

153
00:09:11,719 --> 00:09:13,345
這什麼人啊?

154
00:09:13,345 --> 00:09:15,556
哇,我有在電報上關注你老婆哦

155
00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:20,102
你孩子好可愛喔
你女兒叫什麼來著?

156
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:23,772
-我不能說
- V打頭的對吧?

157
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:25,357
-別說了
-啊?

158
00:09:26,025 --> 00:09:29,028
-是啊,她叫維嘉
-操他媽!

159
00:09:30,404 --> 00:09:32,906
嘿,大家看啊
狗狗在給我吹簫喔

160
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:41,040
大家看啊,狗狗在給我吹簫喔

161
00:09:43,375 --> 00:09:44,335
搞什麼啊你?

162
00:09:44,335 --> 00:09:48,047
為了阻止你聊孩子
害我要不停出洋相!

163
00:09:48,047 --> 00:09:50,007
這下我成了派對明星了!

164
00:09:50,007 --> 00:09:52,593
-哈?
-這下大家都想學我了

165
00:09:52,593 --> 00:09:53,594
我也來

166
00:09:53,594 --> 00:09:57,890
他們老是跑來找我問:
“接下來要發什麼神經?”

167
00:09:57,890 --> 00:10:00,976
除了孩子,你人生中
就沒什麼好玩的啦?

168
00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:01,977
我盡力

169
00:10:01,977 --> 00:10:03,228
大點力好吧!

170
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,356
我都變成派對明星了!

171
00:10:08,067 --> 00:10:11,362
剛聊到洗澡,就收到香皂廣告了

172
00:10:11,362 --> 00:10:15,824
我讀個新聞,旁邊就不停地
有汪汪隊便當盒廣告

173
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,451
那你肯定也有孩子

174
00:10:17,451 --> 00:10:19,662
-這個啊...
-接下來幹什麼好?

175
00:10:19,662 --> 00:10:22,122
不要又是跳舞喔

176
00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,083
-我想不到了
-做點什麼嘛

177
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:25,167
消停一點!

178
00:10:27,336 --> 00:10:29,088
我們聊點別的吧

179
00:10:29,088 --> 00:10:30,798
聊什麼?

180
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:37,012
你做過最離譜的事是什麼?

181
00:10:38,138 --> 00:10:39,306
噢,哇

182
00:10:41,809 --> 00:10:42,726
好吧

183
00:10:42,726 --> 00:10:45,562
於是我被困在這位指導員的大腿中間

184
00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:47,481
他還長得好像艾迪范海倫

185
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:48,774
我看著他,然後說

186
00:10:48,774 --> 00:10:51,944
“我有點緊張啊”
他說:“緊張是對的

187
00:10:51,944 --> 00:10:53,779
我們的車開太快了”

188
00:10:55,906 --> 00:10:59,410
你們啊,別再煩我的狗了
不要再拿我的狗出洋相了

189
00:10:59,410 --> 00:11:01,286
-別煩我的狗了
-推它看看

190
00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,038
-不要!
-那我們去推墻?

191
00:11:03,038 --> 00:11:06,166
-推墻幹什麼啊?
-那我們幹什麼!

192
00:11:06,166 --> 00:11:07,584
不如倒立?

193
00:11:07,584 --> 00:11:09,420
不知道,讓我想想

194
00:11:10,713 --> 00:11:11,630
想快點!

195
00:11:11,630 --> 00:11:13,173
都是抄襲黑澤明的

196
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:14,425
瞎說

197
00:11:14,425 --> 00:11:16,176
-我能說服你
-那你說

198
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:18,846
-給你20秒
-哇,這麼認真

199
00:11:18,846 --> 00:11:21,140
激起我的好勝心了
我就是這麼認真的

200
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:24,643
-我要再喝一杯
-喝一杯!

201
00:11:24,643 --> 00:11:26,979
是我要喝,自己喝!

202
00:11:26,979 --> 00:11:28,856
大家都去自己喝!

203
00:11:28,856 --> 00:11:31,358
你站那裡,你站那裡

204
00:11:31,358 --> 00:11:33,402
你站太近了

205
00:11:33,402 --> 00:11:36,280
我跟你說,我當年最會看眼色了

206
00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:38,532
我們住的地方,不會打架可不行

207
00:11:38,532 --> 00:11:39,825
能想象

208
00:11:40,367 --> 00:11:43,120
我跟你說,你的工作表現不錯

209
00:11:43,745 --> 00:11:45,038
多謝,老闆

210
00:11:45,706 --> 00:11:47,499
會做又會玩,不錯哈

211
00:11:49,877 --> 00:11:52,129
-你說我們下一步幹什麼?
-不知道

212
00:11:52,129 --> 00:11:53,755
這樣如何?

213
00:11:53,755 --> 00:11:55,048
這樣好不好?

214
00:11:56,133 --> 00:11:58,719
不要,等我想一想,我來想

215
00:11:59,386 --> 00:12:02,139
昨天我生日,43歲了

216
00:12:02,139 --> 00:12:04,099
-生日快樂
-我弟弟41

217
00:12:04,725 --> 00:12:06,435
我再過10天生日

218
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:14,610
-你在發什麼信息?
-沒什麼

219
00:12:14,610 --> 00:12:16,987
-別拉我!
-讓我看看

220
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:18,739
別煩我,走開!

221
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:21,575
-讓我想想!
-我們去搞點事吧

222
00:12:21,575 --> 00:12:23,494
-我不想再跳舞了
-嘿,朋友

223
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,456
我想跟你說,我今晚玩得很開心

224
00:12:27,998 --> 00:12:29,833
不聊孩子果然很爽

225
00:12:29,833 --> 00:12:31,752
真棒,幫到你我很高興

226
00:12:31,752 --> 00:12:33,795
跟大家打成一片的感覺真好

227
00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:36,673
以前我也整天聊孩子

228
00:12:36,673 --> 00:12:38,675
三句話不離孩子

229
00:12:38,675 --> 00:12:42,012
你一天到晚聊你兒子

230
00:12:42,012 --> 00:12:44,598
結果有一天他跑到公園裡

231
00:12:45,182 --> 00:12:47,518
手伸進欄杆

232
00:12:47,518 --> 00:12:49,728
把大猩猩“哥斯拉”射死了

233
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,316
-啊?
-一隻叫“哥斯拉”的大猩猩

234
00:12:54,316 --> 00:12:56,944
它會表演咬帽子

235
00:12:57,694 --> 00:12:58,820
他幹嘛要射死它?

236
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:02,241
他太喜歡它了,可能是
想把它的命也據為己有吧

237
00:13:02,950 --> 00:13:05,244
這也是為什麼我這麼心疼自己的狗

238
00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:10,541
有這麼個兒子,我對
這世界的動物傷害已經夠大了

239
00:13:13,126 --> 00:13:14,419
明白

240
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:16,547
謝了

241
00:13:16,547 --> 00:13:17,464
好吧

242
00:13:20,842 --> 00:13:22,511
嘿

243
00:13:22,511 --> 00:13:24,763
抱歉啦

244
00:13:24,763 --> 00:13:29,017
我不該說你是馬
也不該說你在給我吹簫

245
00:13:30,519 --> 00:13:31,645
這個怎麼樣?

246
00:14:18,817 --> 00:14:20,736
字幕翻譯:王明霞