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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎誰去看看太陽？竟然打從西邊出來啦

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‎迪薇威舍庫瑪第一次
‎以派克斯頓霍爾吉田

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‎正牌女友的身分走進學校

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‎方法是讓他戴綠帽

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‎再用車撞他，然後幫他做功課

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‎哈利、梅根閃一邊

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‎這才是王子與公主的童話

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‎搞什麼？

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‎他們已經交往整整兩個禮拜

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‎對青少年來說已經等於白頭偕老了

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‎但是別說出去

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‎他們這兩個禮拜竟然只有輔導級尺度

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‎今晚還是不要吧？

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‎我晚餐吃超飽

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‎好吧

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‎要不要看抖音影片？

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‎嘿，我們改天吧

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‎-其實我早餐吃超飽
‎-好吧

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‎-我們看抖音影片吧
‎-好啊

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‎雖然因為不尋常的飯量

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‎使得兩人無法翻雲覆雨

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‎但迪薇仍是派克斯頓的正牌女友

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‎這是她第一次得到真正的自信

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‎妳們不覺得很扯嗎？
‎派克斯頓竟然跟迪薇在一起？

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‎就是說啊，完全沒想到

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‎她快死了對不對？這是她的遺願？

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‎天啊，派克斯頓心地真好

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‎錯，我本來以為是這樣，但她超健康

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‎搞不好她是“公車”

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‎-對喔
‎-妳觀察力真敏銳

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‎謝謝，我的推理能力一級棒

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‎對，派克斯頓這種猛男
‎跟怪妹迪薇交往唯一的理由

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‎就是她很好上

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‎-沒錯
‎-一定的

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‎沒有其他合理解釋了

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‎我戴白色隱形眼鏡
‎會跟肯伊斯威特一樣酷嗎？

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‎-會啊
‎-一定的

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‎劇名：被人“蕩婦羞辱”

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‎你們兩個首次出場超勁爆的

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‎學校走廊上都是背包

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‎大家嚇到背包都掉了

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‎太猛了

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‎對，而且妳第一次上了
‎“威索波女士”的八卦報

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‎威索波女士是學校的抖音八卦台

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‎靈感來自《柏捷頓家族》的角色

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‎八卦來源卻不是這麼秘密

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‎你們做了沒有？
‎好想看看威索波女士怎麼講

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‎我們還在考慮

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‎我們都想做，所以一定快了

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‎往上看

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‎靠

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‎妳跟川特是怎麼回事？

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‎他剛才在妳面前耍酷，結果失敗

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‎我們在聖誕年假期間玩過幾次

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‎我爸媽超討厭他的，雖然我很高興

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‎苦戀剛好是妳的夢想

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‎我知道，但是我搞不懂

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‎我們還沒接吻過

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‎但他在我家聖誕樹下留了一小包大麻

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‎妳們覺得這是什麼意思？

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‎我覺得挺浪漫的

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‎胡說八道

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‎各位飯桶好，廢渣世界有好玩的嗎？

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‎抱歉，我還在適應女性朋友

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‎大家好，早安

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‎-怎麼了？
‎-嗨，寶貝

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‎我們只是在恭喜迪薇

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‎跟派克斯頓一起風光進場

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‎那我大概錯過了，挺棒的

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‎沒錯，對吧？

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‎因為我們很配？

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‎大家會相信我們在一起？

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‎我不必腿開開才能讓對方喜歡吧？

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‎迪薇，妳想太多了

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‎其實我想到一件事

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‎如果我跟川特能修成正果

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‎我們就說不定都真的在談戀愛了

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‎大家再也不必單身了

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‎法碧歐拉，我有話要跟妳說

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‎真的很對不起

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‎妳要搬到韓國？

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‎夏娃的媽媽要在南韓首爾

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‎開健身加盟店

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‎她一直想教韓國女人重複細微的動作

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‎就能雕塑臀部曲線

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‎我不想分手

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‎我也是

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‎那就談遠距離戀愛吧

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‎一定不難，時差多少？

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‎16小時

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‎什麼？媽呀

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‎地圖把太平洋畫太小了，但是

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‎沒關係

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‎我們一定辦得到

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‎我就晚睡一點，妳放學後再跟我視訊

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‎沒問題的

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‎早安，奶奶，我可以幫忙嗎？

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‎現在妳要幫忙啦？

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‎妳給我的印象是只會在吃飯時

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‎跑掉，讓家人蒙羞

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‎奶奶，拜託，刀子

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‎妳最不需要擔心的就是這把刀

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‎我從來沒這麼丟臉過

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‎連我的紗麗卡在商場電扶梯那次

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‎都沒這麼慘

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‎我在香芬美妝店門口幾乎半裸

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‎奶奶，妳也知道我有多抱歉

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‎我傳訊息給裴桑很多次，但他都不回

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‎妳到底說什麼？

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‎“嗨，抱歉我得丟下你

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‎希望我們之間沒事，哭臉符號”

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‎要不是妳太漂亮，我早就打妳一巴掌

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‎好，卡梅拉，既然奶奶生氣又持刀

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‎妳就先離開廚房吧

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‎雖然妳讓家族蒙羞

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‎但也不至於應該被砍

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‎我建議妳趕快離開

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‎嗨

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‎喔，嗨

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‎我最近很少見到你，我…

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‎慢著，你的置物櫃裡
‎怎麼這麼多愛黛兒的照片？

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‎因為她是巨星，而且唱歌超好聽

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‎-你有意見嗎？
‎-沒有，我喜歡愛黛兒

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‎她超厲害的

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‎那你要幹嘛？

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‎你因為我跟迪薇在一起而生氣嗎？

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‎我不是生氣，兄弟

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‎是害怕

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‎我眼睜睜看著她傷害你

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‎就像愛黛兒的歌《冷淡》

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‎“你一次又一次當個傻瓜”

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‎-我沒聽過那首歌
‎-你最好去聽

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‎我只是很擔心你
‎我知道你的八腹肌下有顆脆弱的心

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‎我的心不在腹肌下面

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‎明明就是，你只是不敢看

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‎兄弟，謝謝你這麼關心我，好嗎？

138
00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:09,662
‎但我這次真的很相信迪薇

139
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‎好吧，如果你相信她
‎我也只能選擇相信了

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‎-看招！
‎-老兄

141
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‎隨便啦，我知道你的蛋蛋很想我

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‎-嗨，迪薇
‎-嗨

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‎嗨，準備走了嗎？

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‎好啊，走吧

145
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‎好

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‎迪薇走出學校的感覺
‎沒有像走進學校那麼充滿自信

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‎她整天都在想
‎席拉、佐伊和凱莉講的話

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‎大家都質疑派克斯頓為什麼
‎要跟差他這麼多的女人交往嗎？

149
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‎他們到底怎麼看派克斯頓和迪薇的？

150
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‎雪曼橡樹高中最新的不搭情侶要走了

151
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‎這是我在車上找到的零食
‎抱歉，大部分都碎了

152
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‎謝天謝地

153
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‎可以拜託妳勸奶奶嗎？

154
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‎我知道她很失望，但她不會想餓死我

155
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‎我可不會這麼說
‎她今天早上的確想剁妳的頭

156
00:07:12,766 --> 00:07:14,852
‎那妳還愛他嗎？

157
00:07:15,352 --> 00:07:16,312
‎這個老師？

158
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‎-我不知道妳在說什麼
‎-教迪薇英文的庫爾卡尼老師

159
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‎妳那天晚上就是去學校找他

160
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‎我可不笨，卡梅拉

161
00:07:24,862 --> 00:07:27,531
‎他在迪薇的親師會上有問起妳

162
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‎然後還刻意問到每個學生的表姊

163
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‎不，我並不愛他

164
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‎馬尼許只是個朋友

165
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‎卡梅拉，妳聽好

166
00:07:38,250 --> 00:07:41,170
‎我知道這種結婚方式看起來很恐怖

167
00:07:41,253 --> 00:07:43,380
‎妳會覺得自己無法掌握

168
00:07:43,464 --> 00:07:46,717
‎但妳看自己的父母
‎或者穆罕跟我的例子就好

169
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‎我們之所以能幸福，部分原因是

170
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‎我們的家人有相同目標

171
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‎我知道

172
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‎我只是害怕

173
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‎我喜歡這裡的生活，充滿自由

174
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‎我還沒準備好

175
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‎我爸媽把我許配給穆罕時
‎我還在念醫學院三年級

176
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‎滿腦子只想解決靜脈曲張問題

177
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‎再買一輛白色車身
‎金色輪框的寶馬敞篷車

178
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‎我那時的品味不怎麼樣

179
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‎我那時一點都不想結婚

180
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‎那妳為什麼改變想法了？

181
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‎因為穆罕

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‎對啊，他是誠實又善良的人

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‎我們搬來這裡時
‎他讓我覺得跟自己家人更親近

184
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‎雖然我們相隔千里之外

185
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‎他是我的支柱

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‎裴桑的確讓我想到家裡，感覺很好

187
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‎沒人要逼妳明天就結婚

188
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‎但是妳也不該為了害怕而拋開裴桑

189
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‎而且他超帥的

190
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‎帥到爆炸，如果妳不嫁給他，我來

191
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‎（男朋友節快樂，迪薇）

192
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‎妳堅持在今天療程慶祝男朋友節時

193
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‎我以為妳會比較高興

194
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‎對啊，我知道

195
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‎慢著，我不懂

196
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‎妳跟夢中情人交往

197
00:09:08,632 --> 00:09:11,510
‎他也公開宣告妳是他的女友

198
00:09:12,011 --> 00:09:13,012
‎等一下

199
00:09:13,095 --> 00:09:17,182
‎我們是不是發現談戀愛

200
00:09:17,266 --> 00:09:20,644
‎不一定能解決所有問題？

201
00:09:20,728 --> 00:09:22,104
‎萊恩醫生，有妳的

202
00:09:22,187 --> 00:09:24,857
‎不過奧莉維亞會用整張專輯反駁妳

203
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:26,859
‎那妳為什麼難過？

204
00:09:27,776 --> 00:09:31,363
‎我聽到幾個女生說我
‎一定是腿開開才會讓他喜歡我

205
00:09:31,447 --> 00:09:35,492
‎而且不像實境節目裡的同志
‎用溫情語氣講出來

206
00:09:35,576 --> 00:09:38,120
‎而是認為這樣才能解釋我們會交往

207
00:09:38,203 --> 00:09:41,165
‎迪薇，我真的很同情妳

208
00:09:41,248 --> 00:09:44,501
‎我也是，這個蛋糕60美元
‎我卻難過到吃不下去

209
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:48,088
‎60美元！妳為什麼不去超市買？

210
00:09:48,172 --> 00:09:50,090
‎妳聽好，人生在世

211
00:09:50,591 --> 00:09:55,471
‎總會有女生在廁所裡
‎說妳人盡可夫，好嗎？

212
00:09:55,554 --> 00:09:59,558
‎祕訣在於別讓別人決定妳是誰

213
00:09:59,642 --> 00:10:02,603
‎不然就等於把權力交給她們

214
00:10:03,562 --> 00:10:05,314
‎對耶，妳說得沒錯

215
00:10:05,397 --> 00:10:08,442
‎醫生，妳超有智慧的
‎我要把這些女生飆一頓

216
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:11,654
‎妳以為我要妳飆別的學生嗎？

217
00:10:11,737 --> 00:10:13,030
‎-對啊
‎-不對

218
00:10:13,739 --> 00:10:15,699
‎我要妳別理她們

219
00:10:16,617 --> 00:10:18,452
‎所以什麼都不做？

220
00:10:19,036 --> 00:10:23,082
‎什麼都不做就是克制的表現

221
00:10:23,957 --> 00:10:25,668
‎我懂了，大人不計小人過

222
00:10:25,751 --> 00:10:27,419
‎-對
‎-好，我一定能做到

223
00:10:27,503 --> 00:10:31,465
‎很好，因為這樣就代表妳很成熟

224
00:10:31,548 --> 00:10:34,468
‎沒錯，所以我要這麼做

225
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,136
‎我對妳有信心

226
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:39,890
‎妳們這些愛吃醋的臭婊子
‎我在廁所聽到妳們講的話

227
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:43,268
‎講妳衣服亂搭嗎？
‎妳這樣好像兒童節目藝人

228
00:10:43,352 --> 00:10:45,396
‎我哪有像兒童節目藝…

229
00:10:46,897 --> 00:10:49,733
‎好，的確有很多原色

230
00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:53,779
‎反正我沒有誰都能上，而且告訴妳們

231
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,364
‎派克斯頓和我還沒做過

232
00:10:55,447 --> 00:10:57,825
‎他喜歡我討喜的個性，我…

233
00:10:57,908 --> 00:11:00,411
‎慢著，妳和派克斯頓還沒上過床？

234
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,163
‎-沒有
‎-太好了，那代表他馬上要單身了

235
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:07,626
‎美女，派克斯頓不會跟
‎拒絕上床的女人在一起

236
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:11,171
‎他是個男子漢，四年級就長腋毛

237
00:11:11,255 --> 00:11:14,299
‎對，只摸奶還有在床上看抖音搞笑片

238
00:11:14,383 --> 00:11:16,677
‎是滿足不了他的

239
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:20,514
‎哇，靠，迪薇
‎妳跟派克斯頓都是這樣過的

240
00:11:21,098 --> 00:11:23,684
‎也許他會邀我參加畢業舞會
‎妳們要看一下禮服嗎？

241
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,060
‎-好
‎-衣服網購程式

242
00:11:25,144 --> 00:11:27,187
‎天啊，這件好可愛

243
00:11:27,271 --> 00:11:29,606
‎妳這個週末要出去吃飯嗎？

244
00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:33,277
‎好，把你媽的剩菜加熱
‎在車庫跟川特和馬克斯

245
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,653
‎玩《要塞英雄》？好啊

246
00:11:34,737 --> 00:11:36,739
‎媽呀，我們約會都這樣嗎？

247
00:11:37,573 --> 00:11:38,574
‎好遜

248
00:11:39,241 --> 00:11:42,661
‎不對，是真正的約會，浪漫的那種

249
00:11:43,162 --> 00:11:45,247
‎妳去過“加創廚”嗎？

250
00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:48,667
‎“加創廚”？加州創意廚房？

251
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:52,629
‎全美唯一高級的
‎休閒速食披薩連鎖店？

252
00:11:52,713 --> 00:11:55,549
‎這才叫約會嘛，我好想去

253
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:58,177
‎好啊，我喜歡披薩

254
00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:01,180
‎那我要帶酵素碇在吃完後服用

255
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:03,223
‎還是吃披薩後直接回家？

256
00:12:03,849 --> 00:12:06,852
‎妳要的話，我們吃完後可以到我家

257
00:12:07,811 --> 00:12:09,938
‎好，那我就帶酵素碇了

258
00:12:11,857 --> 00:12:16,779
‎如果迪薇要吃酵素碇
‎然後在用餐後跟派克斯頓鬼混

259
00:12:16,862 --> 00:12:18,864
‎那就只有一種可能

260
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:22,159
‎我這個週末要跟派克斯頓上床

261
00:12:22,242 --> 00:12:23,744
‎我的天…

262
00:12:25,287 --> 00:12:29,124
‎我在等法碧歐拉說“啊”，但她睡著了

263
00:12:29,625 --> 00:12:30,709
‎小法，醒醒

264
00:12:30,793 --> 00:12:33,462
‎我在宣布重要新聞，妳卻打瞌睡

265
00:12:33,545 --> 00:12:36,548
‎抱歉啦，我半夜跟在首爾的夏娃聊天

266
00:12:36,632 --> 00:12:38,717
‎真不知我能撐多久

267
00:12:40,594 --> 00:12:42,805
‎聽好囉，我可以“嗝出”妳的名字

268
00:12:44,306 --> 00:12:45,516
‎艾莉諾

269
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,146
‎其實還挺甜蜜的

270
00:12:51,230 --> 00:12:52,564
‎迪薇頭昏眼花

271
00:12:52,648 --> 00:12:56,902
‎因為男朋友是校草，所以她開始發現

272
00:12:56,985 --> 00:13:00,405
‎大家都會認為他們有性行為

273
00:13:00,489 --> 00:13:03,450
‎還好她可以隱身在正常課堂上

274
00:13:03,534 --> 00:13:04,868
‎不想這件事

275
00:13:16,547 --> 00:13:18,257
‎早安，各位年輕學子

276
00:13:18,340 --> 00:13:22,594
‎拿出你們的召集令
‎因為今天這個班要投入…

277
00:13:24,888 --> 00:13:25,848
‎越戰

278
00:13:25,931 --> 00:13:30,227
‎這個故事要講的是倉促決定

279
00:13:30,310 --> 00:13:33,188
‎最後造成慘痛的後果

280
00:13:33,272 --> 00:13:35,607
‎我們屈服於他人的壓力

281
00:13:35,691 --> 00:13:37,901
‎原因並非這是正確的決定

282
00:13:37,985 --> 00:13:40,612
‎而是受制於寶貴的自尊

283
00:13:40,696 --> 00:13:43,365
‎但是我們馬上發現自己進退兩難

284
00:13:43,448 --> 00:13:45,492
‎我們的行為不但沒帶來好處

285
00:13:45,576 --> 00:13:47,619
‎還帶來難堪和恥辱

286
00:13:47,703 --> 00:13:50,831
‎等我們抽離時，已經失去純真

287
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:54,960
‎血…流…成河

288
00:13:57,170 --> 00:13:59,506
‎沒錯，迪薇，的確很嚇人

289
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:00,924
‎各位的功課

290
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,136
‎是聽《阿甘正傳》的原聲帶

291
00:14:04,219 --> 00:14:07,723
‎至少聽到1970年代中期
‎珍妮開始打海洛因以前

292
00:14:09,308 --> 00:14:12,227
‎夏皮羅老師，你的課真是發人深省

293
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:14,187
‎我都感受到西貢淪陷了

294
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:16,148
‎謝謝，這就是我的目標

295
00:14:16,815 --> 00:14:19,693
‎你有收到我要求加分的電子郵件嗎？

296
00:14:19,776 --> 00:14:22,821
‎有，但是很抱歉，我拒絕

297
00:14:23,405 --> 00:14:24,740
‎什麼？為什麼？

298
00:14:24,823 --> 00:14:27,117
‎你在我的班上已經拿到滿分了

299
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,453
‎再高就要請學校董事會同意

300
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:33,624
‎老師，我知道這個分數
‎已經很好，足以進入…

301
00:14:34,207 --> 00:14:35,125
‎莎拉勞倫斯學院

302
00:14:35,208 --> 00:14:38,295
‎是啊，但我的目標是進長春藤大學

303
00:14:38,378 --> 00:14:41,840
‎這種學校錄取率超低，我需要幫忙

304
00:14:43,300 --> 00:14:45,218
‎雖然這個對話很侮辱人

305
00:14:45,302 --> 00:14:47,262
‎但我還是要堅持原來的決定

306
00:14:47,346 --> 00:14:48,889
‎不能再加分，小班

307
00:14:50,307 --> 00:14:54,353
‎莎拉勞倫斯學院錄取率
‎只有53%，競爭也很激烈

308
00:14:57,481 --> 00:14:58,857
‎天啊，真是有夠扯

309
00:14:58,941 --> 00:15:02,569
‎對啊，夏皮羅老師應該巴不得
‎幫我的加分作業打分數才對

310
00:15:02,653 --> 00:15:04,112
‎我文筆超美的

311
00:15:04,196 --> 00:15:06,823
‎我是說你啦，你才扯呢

312
00:15:06,907 --> 00:15:07,824
‎我？

313
00:15:07,908 --> 00:15:10,744
‎想上好大學就要對分數斤斤計較

314
00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:13,622
‎慢著，妳沒想過要上哪間大學嗎？

315
00:15:14,206 --> 00:15:17,501
‎沒有耶，我想跟親戚一樣
‎念加州州立大學北嶺分校

316
00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:23,382
‎哇，我想就讀歐巴馬
‎還有傑克葛倫霍念的哥倫比亞大學

317
00:15:23,465 --> 00:15:25,759
‎我們在同一間會堂舉辦猶太成人禮

318
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:28,345
‎我說傑克葛倫霍，不是歐巴馬總統

319
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,973
‎好啊，那我也申請那裡好了

320
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:33,767
‎什麼？

321
00:15:37,562 --> 00:15:40,691
‎-卡梅拉？
‎-嗨，我帶了腰果酥片

322
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,069
‎很好吃，而且是他們比較貴的產品

323
00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,904
‎我吃堅果會過敏死掉

324
00:15:45,988 --> 00:15:48,824
‎妳讓我在家人面前丟臉還想害死我？

325
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,243
‎裴桑，等一下

326
00:15:51,326 --> 00:15:53,161
‎我真的很對不起你

327
00:15:53,787 --> 00:15:54,621
‎我只是慌了

328
00:15:55,330 --> 00:15:58,500
‎我奶奶和我舅媽讓我以為你要求婚

329
00:15:58,583 --> 00:15:59,960
‎我是要求婚啊

330
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:01,586
‎-真的？
‎-對啊

331
00:16:01,670 --> 00:16:04,339
‎不然我何必把父母帶來？
‎去看環球影城嗎？

332
00:16:04,423 --> 00:16:05,924
‎他們看過奧蘭多那間更好的

333
00:16:07,884 --> 00:16:08,927
‎妳來幹嘛，卡梅拉？

334
00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:10,971
‎贏回你的心

335
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:13,974
‎我覺得妳其實不想跟我復合

336
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:16,643
‎我當然想，你是很好的對象

337
00:16:16,727 --> 00:16:17,561
‎我知道我是

338
00:16:17,644 --> 00:16:20,355
‎但是妳一想到我要求婚就跑了

339
00:16:20,439 --> 00:16:21,606
‎我已經想結婚了

340
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,900
‎我想跟妳走入下個階段，成家立業

341
00:16:24,401 --> 00:16:25,736
‎我以為妳也是

342
00:16:25,819 --> 00:16:29,406
‎理論上來說是，但我還是會怕

343
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,159
‎其實我不喜歡你給我的工作建議

344
00:16:32,242 --> 00:16:34,911
‎我覺得那表示你不支持我工作

345
00:16:34,995 --> 00:16:37,831
‎有時我一想到要結婚就覺得不舒服

346
00:16:37,914 --> 00:16:40,917
‎但那也不表示我想放棄兩人的感情

347
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,420
‎妳剛才的話讓我覺得我們毫無感情

348
00:16:43,503 --> 00:16:44,838
‎沒有這回事

349
00:16:45,422 --> 00:16:48,175
‎我們對彼此的身體充滿“性趣”

350
00:16:49,342 --> 00:16:50,594
‎我同意這句話

351
00:16:51,261 --> 00:16:54,347
‎好，也許我不一定想嫁給你

352
00:16:54,848 --> 00:16:58,393
‎但也可能是我根本就不想結婚

353
00:16:59,770 --> 00:17:02,481
‎那現在知道這件事也好

354
00:17:03,190 --> 00:17:04,066
‎再見了，卡梅拉

355
00:17:09,488 --> 00:17:11,865
‎真不敢相信我今晚要破處了

356
00:17:11,948 --> 00:17:14,576
‎好，我們假設妳開過“腋胸臀”會了

357
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:15,660
‎腋胸臀會？什麼啊？

358
00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:18,246
‎腋下、胸部、臀部

359
00:17:18,330 --> 00:17:19,623
‎必須保持乾爽才行

360
00:17:19,706 --> 00:17:21,666
‎天啊，真不想知道這個詞

361
00:17:21,750 --> 00:17:23,877
‎是的，我的“腋胸臀”非常乾淨

362
00:17:23,960 --> 00:17:26,963
‎我用烤肉外帶餐附的酒精棉片擦過

363
00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:30,300
‎痛死老娘了，不過謝謝妳們幫我想

364
00:17:30,383 --> 00:17:31,843
‎對我來說實在…

365
00:17:31,927 --> 00:17:33,386
‎小法，搞什麼！

366
00:17:33,470 --> 00:17:35,972
‎恭喜妳要上床了，我們與有榮焉

367
00:17:36,056 --> 00:17:39,518
‎妳不能一直遠距戀情下去，很不健康

368
00:17:39,601 --> 00:17:40,852
‎我當然可以

369
00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:44,272
‎我愛夏娃，等我存60個月的機票錢

370
00:17:44,356 --> 00:17:46,441
‎去看她就值得了

371
00:17:47,818 --> 00:17:49,236
‎我不知道，好怪

372
00:17:49,319 --> 00:17:53,657
‎我其實超想上派克斯頓的
‎可是短短兩週從接吻升級到打砲

373
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,158
‎這樣不會太快？

374
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:58,078
‎那就別跟他做啊，我也沒跟小班做

375
00:17:58,161 --> 00:17:59,996
‎這就有意思了

376
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:03,250
‎我是沒興趣，但這群女孩子有

377
00:18:03,333 --> 00:18:05,794
‎迪薇，妳還沒準備好就別做

378
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:07,921
‎可是席拉、佐伊和凱莉說

379
00:18:08,004 --> 00:18:11,133
‎派克斯頓不會跟拒絕做的女生交往

380
00:18:11,216 --> 00:18:13,051
‎別聽她們的，她們懂個屁？

381
00:18:14,094 --> 00:18:14,928
‎謝了，小法

382
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,638
‎就算她們說對了，又能有多慘？

383
00:18:16,721 --> 00:18:20,142
‎派克斯頓甩了妳
‎妳的人緣跌落谷底？

384
00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:23,270
‎那又怎樣？堅守原則不是更重要？

385
00:18:23,353 --> 00:18:27,023
‎而且很多無性伴侶過得也很快樂

386
00:18:27,107 --> 00:18:30,110
‎只要把額外精力發洩到其他地方就好

387
00:18:30,193 --> 00:18:31,987
‎像是可以養蜜蜂

388
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,989
‎養蜜蜂？

389
00:18:34,072 --> 00:18:36,283
‎說實話，這種建議真是有點爛

390
00:18:37,033 --> 00:18:39,286
‎抱歉，我不知道我為什麼會爆走

391
00:18:39,786 --> 00:18:42,038
‎我早就想跟派克斯頓做了

392
00:18:42,122 --> 00:18:45,876
‎也許這次破處經驗會很神奇
‎我可以寫首詩抒發一下

393
00:18:46,376 --> 00:18:47,210
‎我決定要做

394
00:18:47,294 --> 00:18:50,422
‎女王讚！現在最重要的問題是

395
00:18:50,505 --> 00:18:51,882
‎妳的小褲褲選了沒？

396
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:54,134
‎有《南方四賤客》人物的平口內褲

397
00:18:54,217 --> 00:18:55,719
‎褲襠處是阿啪的嘴巴

398
00:18:57,512 --> 00:18:59,681
‎好，我知道怎麼解決

399
00:19:02,392 --> 00:19:03,643
‎炫喔

400
00:19:05,770 --> 00:19:06,897
‎妳在幹嘛？

401
00:19:08,899 --> 00:19:09,983
‎幫妳洗衣服？

402
00:19:10,066 --> 00:19:12,652
‎騙人，妳根本不知道洗衣機在哪裡

403
00:19:12,736 --> 00:19:13,737
‎我知道

404
00:19:14,362 --> 00:19:17,157
‎是在…廚房吧？

405
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:19,326
‎好啦，隨便

406
00:19:19,409 --> 00:19:23,163
‎我要借性感內褲，因為我有男朋友

407
00:19:23,246 --> 00:19:25,040
‎對，派克斯頓，我知道

408
00:19:25,123 --> 00:19:27,584
‎我在共用廁所見過他幾次

409
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,086
‎還好妳媽不知道妳在跟他交往

410
00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:31,296
‎慢著，妳為什麼要…

411
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:33,465
‎天啊，迪薇

412
00:19:35,217 --> 00:19:36,593
‎你們要做嗎？

413
00:19:36,676 --> 00:19:38,261
‎-他有逼妳嗎？
‎-沒有

414
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:41,765
‎我也想要，我超期待的

415
00:19:42,390 --> 00:19:43,808
‎坐下，我們聊一聊

416
00:19:45,644 --> 00:19:47,270
‎迪薇，這件事非同小可

417
00:19:47,354 --> 00:19:50,982
‎跟別人上床是妳最脆弱的時候

418
00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:54,319
‎如果趕鴨子上架，可能真的會受傷

419
00:19:54,945 --> 00:19:56,488
‎下面受傷嗎？

420
00:19:56,571 --> 00:19:58,865
‎不對，迪薇，是心理受傷

421
00:20:00,450 --> 00:20:01,660
‎我有慘痛教訓

422
00:20:01,743 --> 00:20:04,621
‎不能光聽別人的，得照自己的步調

423
00:20:04,704 --> 00:20:06,498
‎妳說的是裴桑嗎？

424
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:07,958
‎對

425
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:11,127
‎我不跟他結婚了，因為我還沒準備好

426
00:20:11,211 --> 00:20:14,297
‎妳也不該跟別人上床，除非準備好了

427
00:20:14,381 --> 00:20:17,592
‎問題是迪薇跟大部分青少年一樣

428
00:20:17,676 --> 00:20:19,761
‎不知道要準備什麼

429
00:20:19,844 --> 00:20:23,098
‎她只知道自己還沒準備好被甩

430
00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:24,849
‎我不是毒舌

431
00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:27,894
‎只是說頭一次看到有人吃那麼多披薩

432
00:20:27,978 --> 00:20:31,690
‎感覺就像在拖延跟我回家的時間

433
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:34,276
‎拖延？你瘋啦？

434
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:37,445
‎我幹嘛拖延今天的寶貴春宵？

435
00:20:52,711 --> 00:20:54,087
‎我的耳朵

436
00:20:56,172 --> 00:20:57,257
‎妳還好吧？

437
00:20:57,340 --> 00:20:58,174
‎還好

438
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:02,095
‎非常好，不知道我幹嘛
‎戴這麼浮誇的耳環

439
00:21:11,062 --> 00:21:11,896
‎我準備好了

440
00:21:16,526 --> 00:21:18,486
‎我準備好了，趕快進去做完吧

441
00:21:23,241 --> 00:21:24,242
‎派克斯頓？

442
00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:28,121
‎怎麼了？

443
00:21:28,705 --> 00:21:29,622
‎為什麼停？

444
00:21:30,498 --> 00:21:32,292
‎我快有感覺了

445
00:21:32,375 --> 00:21:35,003
‎迪薇，妳的雙手死命抱拳

446
00:21:35,086 --> 00:21:38,673
‎整個人非常緊繃
‎我好像還聽到妳牙齒崩裂了

447
00:21:42,093 --> 00:21:45,180
‎我覺得我還沒準備好要做

448
00:21:46,473 --> 00:21:48,391
‎如果你要跟我分，我能瞭解

449
00:21:48,475 --> 00:21:50,560
‎我知道你不跟拒絕做的女生交往

450
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:51,519
‎沒關係

451
00:21:52,145 --> 00:21:54,564
‎沒這回事，我可以慢慢來

452
00:21:55,565 --> 00:21:58,360
‎好，可是你說的慢慢來是什麼意思？

453
00:21:58,443 --> 00:22:00,862
‎例如永無止盡的69式？
‎因為我不想要那樣

454
00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:02,530
‎什麼？不是啦

455
00:22:05,533 --> 00:22:08,620
‎除非妳很自在，否則我不想做

456
00:22:09,412 --> 00:22:12,749
‎要是我自在的程度

457
00:22:12,832 --> 00:22:15,668
‎只到看恐怖片時上二壘呢？

458
00:22:16,419 --> 00:22:18,296
‎-那我也願意
‎-真的？

459
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,006
‎真的

460
00:22:21,633 --> 00:22:24,135
‎-妳要看抖音影片嗎？
‎-好啊

461
00:22:26,388 --> 00:22:28,056
‎所以我們決定慢慢來

462
00:22:28,139 --> 00:22:30,642
‎他甚至沒看到我用鞋帶做的丁字褲

463
00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,936
‎-太好了，迪薇
‎-恭喜妳

464
00:22:33,019 --> 00:22:36,398
‎我們幫妳做了“派克斯頓犁過”上衣

465
00:22:36,481 --> 00:22:38,983
‎但我還是送給跟他做過的人吧

466
00:22:39,067 --> 00:22:40,276
‎妳是我的偶像

467
00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,987
‎杏仁潤髮乳，所以沒有頭皮屑

468
00:22:43,071 --> 00:22:44,781
‎有川特的新聞嗎？

469
00:22:46,533 --> 00:22:49,619
‎沒有，我放棄他了，他沒回我訊息

470
00:22:49,702 --> 00:22:51,162
‎我大概是自作多情

471
00:22:51,913 --> 00:22:55,917
‎我把越戰春節攻勢的小考改好了

472
00:22:56,000 --> 00:23:00,964
‎老實說，我對很多同學
‎沒有好好準備覺得很生氣

473
00:23:01,047 --> 00:23:04,259
‎我大概還是照著教科書上課就好

474
00:23:04,342 --> 00:23:06,553
‎不要用羅勃辛密克斯的電影

475
00:23:07,720 --> 00:23:08,847
‎我拿剛好100？

476
00:23:08,930 --> 00:23:12,600
‎可是我多寫一頁
‎討論詹森總統無法緩和戰事

477
00:23:12,684 --> 00:23:15,728
‎還有詹森總統夫人
‎欠缺賈桂琳的時尚眼光

478
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:17,480
‎我說過不能再加分了

479
00:23:18,398 --> 00:23:20,984
‎82分？只有82分？

480
00:23:21,067 --> 00:23:24,195
‎我也是82分耶，我們同分

481
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:27,157
‎艾莉諾，跟我擊掌

482
00:23:27,657 --> 00:23:29,284
‎怎麼會有這種事？

483
00:23:29,367 --> 00:23:31,494
‎我沒拿過A以下的分數

484
00:23:32,078 --> 00:23:35,540
<i>‎法</i>‎碧歐拉這時知道該怎麼做了

485
00:23:38,168 --> 00:23:40,211
‎喂，我們要好好談談了

486
00:23:42,130 --> 00:23:44,257
‎好啊，妳那邊凌晨2點半可以嗎？

487
00:23:45,508 --> 00:23:48,178
‎84分耶，川特，我贏你了

488
00:23:57,395 --> 00:23:58,313
‎艾莉諾！

489
00:24:00,190 --> 00:24:02,775
‎我要跟妳擊掌，妳怎麼不理我？

490
00:24:03,485 --> 00:24:05,653
‎我馬子對我這樣，讓我很受傷

491
00:24:06,488 --> 00:24:08,281
‎你說什麼？你馬子？

492
00:24:08,364 --> 00:24:09,532
‎我們有在交往嗎？

493
00:24:09,616 --> 00:24:11,493
‎因為你都沒有傳訊息回我

494
00:24:11,576 --> 00:24:13,912
‎喔，那是因為我改號碼了

495
00:24:13,995 --> 00:24:16,873
‎我發現可以申請18000FSGIVEN的號碼

496
00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,041
‎雖然我也不鳥啦

497
00:24:19,042 --> 00:24:22,420
‎好，我先搞清楚
‎你去辦了免付費電話？

498
00:24:22,504 --> 00:24:24,547
‎-對
‎-而且你喜歡我？

499
00:24:24,631 --> 00:24:25,465
‎想跟我交往？

500
00:24:25,548 --> 00:24:26,466
‎對

501
00:24:27,509 --> 00:24:29,802
‎好，因為之前感覺很不清楚

502
00:24:29,886 --> 00:24:32,555
‎好，那我讓妳清楚一點

503
00:24:46,319 --> 00:24:47,570
‎-哇
‎-猛耶

504
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,492
‎-嗨
‎-嗨

505
00:24:53,243 --> 00:24:54,494
‎妳最近怎麼樣？

506
00:24:54,994 --> 00:24:56,204
‎就你們…

507
00:24:59,374 --> 00:25:01,042
‎我們很快樂啊

508
00:25:02,210 --> 00:25:04,796
‎那就好，既然妳比較晚熟

509
00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:06,673
‎我只是想提供建議

510
00:25:06,756 --> 00:25:09,884
‎畢竟我的戀愛經驗和性經驗比較多

511
00:25:09,968 --> 00:25:12,262
‎-你真是太好心了
‎-對啊，不客氣

512
00:25:13,471 --> 00:25:16,641
‎好，就這樣，再見了，阿迪

513
00:25:20,770 --> 00:25:22,063
‎喂，妳們三個

514
00:25:22,772 --> 00:25:26,568
‎我要讓妳們知道
‎派克斯頓和我決定要慢慢來

515
00:25:26,651 --> 00:25:30,321
‎因為我們兩人的關係
‎成熟、堅貞，又尊重對方

516
00:25:30,405 --> 00:25:32,240
‎妳們三個永遠不會懂

517
00:25:33,157 --> 00:25:36,286
‎什麼？我們沒聽到，因為戴耳機

518
00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:41,165
‎我只是說派克斯頓和我
‎決定慢慢來，我們感情很好

519
00:25:42,542 --> 00:25:43,668
‎好吧

520
00:25:44,210 --> 00:25:47,547
‎因為妳們以前用惡毒的話講我們…

521
00:25:47,630 --> 00:25:49,882
‎沒有耶，我們不是那種人

522
00:25:49,966 --> 00:25:51,092
‎妳們真的有

523
00:25:51,175 --> 00:25:52,844
‎她都說我們沒有毒舌了

524
00:25:52,927 --> 00:25:55,263
‎妳這樣講我們是霸凌行為

525
00:25:55,346 --> 00:25:58,433
‎大家都會霸凌全校最漂亮的女生

526
00:25:59,309 --> 00:26:01,811
‎迪薇這時才學到寶貴教訓

527
00:26:02,312 --> 00:26:04,147
‎這些女生根本就把她當空氣

528
00:26:04,230 --> 00:26:07,442
‎所以也許她該把她們的話當成空氣

529
00:26:08,568 --> 00:26:11,112
‎謝謝，這次對話讓我收穫良多

530
00:26:11,195 --> 00:26:12,780
‎-好說好說
‎-再見

531
00:26:12,864 --> 00:26:14,032
‎-好樣的，再見
‎-再見

532
00:26:15,366 --> 00:26:19,120
‎迪薇，妳昨天晚上怎麼樣？精彩嗎？

533
00:26:20,788 --> 00:26:23,833
‎不精彩，我沒有把計畫付諸實現

534
00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:26,586
‎這是幹嘛？妳們講話怎麼怪怪的？

535
00:26:26,669 --> 00:26:27,795
‎沒事，媽

536
00:26:28,379 --> 00:26:30,632
‎哇，有蒸米餅？好棒！

537
00:26:30,715 --> 00:26:31,883
‎這樣聽起來正常多了

538
00:26:32,383 --> 00:26:36,012
‎婆婆，早上的水中有氧課怎麼樣？

539
00:26:36,095 --> 00:26:38,681
‎妳還是會漂走，還是總算能固定了？

540
00:26:38,765 --> 00:26:39,682
‎沒人在乎啦，阿娜

541
00:26:39,766 --> 00:26:41,976
‎卡梅拉，妳跟裴桑講話了嗎？

542
00:26:42,518 --> 00:26:43,978
‎到底要不要結婚？

543
00:26:44,062 --> 00:26:47,690
‎因為我們得開始幫印度的家人訂機票

544
00:26:48,191 --> 00:26:49,317
‎我跟裴桑談過了

545
00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:51,986
‎我們談話的內容很有意義

546
00:26:52,070 --> 00:26:55,406
‎也達到雙方都能接受的結果

547
00:26:56,574 --> 00:26:59,160
‎我們決定兩人不要繼續交往下去

548
00:27:00,036 --> 00:27:02,497
‎我真的覺得這樣對我最好，因為我…

549
00:27:02,580 --> 00:27:06,876
‎是嗎？我聽了真高興
‎因為我再也不要跟妳講話了

550
00:27:08,002 --> 00:27:11,339
‎迪薇，我現在只有妳這個孫女，吃吧

551
00:27:14,509 --> 00:27:15,343
‎好了，婆婆…

552
00:27:15,426 --> 00:27:17,178
‎好，狀況改善了

553
00:27:17,261 --> 00:27:20,431
‎迪薇總算變成家中的寵兒

554
00:27:20,515 --> 00:27:23,601
‎她跟夢中情人的感情非常健康

555
00:27:23,685 --> 00:27:25,978
‎也學會把那些惡毒的人當成空氣

556
00:27:27,146 --> 00:27:28,564
‎迪薇，妳最好小心

557
00:27:28,648 --> 00:27:31,359
‎派克斯頓霍爾吉田跟妳想的不一樣

558
00:27:31,943 --> 00:27:34,862
‎好吧，這就很難當成空氣了

559
00:28:25,872 --> 00:28:27,081
‎字幕翻譯：溫鳳祺