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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎自迪薇有記憶以來

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‎情人節的意義就僅限在每年提醒她

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‎自己是徹頭徹尾的廢物

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‎妳永遠都是我的情人，孩子

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‎（今年情人節當自己的寶貝）

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‎以她的角度來看

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‎這個節日最討厭了

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‎啊，抱歉，小男生，應該是送隔壁的

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‎可是迪薇現在有男朋友了

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‎所以情人節絕對會很棒

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‎-情人節快樂
‎-嗨

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‎我幫我們今晚計畫了超浪漫約會

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‎床墊那些東西都噴過除臭劑

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‎妳們這些超廢單身女子接受事實吧

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‎我要在上課前拿東西，不過等一下見

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‎好

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‎對，今天這個日子保證開心

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‎-嗨，你好
‎-妳好，妹子

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‎就算迪薇擔心她可能
‎意外促成派克斯頓和超辣前女友

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‎重燃愛火，這個情人節也會很棒

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‎派克斯頓，等等，你知道嗎？

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‎你跟我是絕配

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‎妳在說什麼？

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‎這是什麼？

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‎情人節快樂

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‎這是妳的速配心理測驗結果

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‎妳昨天午休時做的

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‎（迪薇）

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‎（完美情人：艾瑞克）

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‎天啊

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‎也許校內還有另一個艾瑞克柏金斯

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‎-好扯
‎-你常走路嗎？

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‎看什麼？

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‎劇名：……擁有情人

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‎情人節超爛的

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‎我不懂，我明明就已經跟校草交往

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‎怎麼會跟艾瑞克最速配？

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‎妳生氣是因為配到艾瑞克

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‎還是因為海莉配到派克斯頓？

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‎我很高興他們能重修友好

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‎但不希望他們會重修舊好

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‎妳不必擔心海莉，派克斯頓超愛妳的

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‎我知道，但他跟海莉是青梅竹馬

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‎而且還做過了

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‎我現在就在想像他們在做

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‎天啊

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‎我知道為什麼電腦說他們是絕配了

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‎不要鑽牛角尖

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‎這只是爛學校裡
‎一群爛學生做的爛測驗

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‎大家好

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‎嗨，阿妮莎

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‎兩人尷尬打招呼是因為以下的互動

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‎還沒講開來

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‎妳說這是爛測驗嗎？

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‎這是麻省理工學院諾貝爾獎得主做的

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‎準確率無庸置疑

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‎所以多看書吧

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‎抱歉啦，喬納

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‎我竟然配到機爾斯布洛斯南

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‎我連它有做測驗都不知道

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‎妳們配到誰？

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‎我配到川特

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‎對，我配到小班

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‎哇，小班，太棒了

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‎畢竟他是妳男朋友嘛

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‎嗨，小法，妳今天會覺得怪嗎？

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‎怎麼了？我看來怪嗎？

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‎有像發生過怪事嗎？

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‎不是，我只是想，畢竟今天是情人節

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‎妳一定很想夏娃

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‎對啊，這是我的問題，我好想她

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‎說到男女朋友

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‎我覺得不是每一對都能撐過情人節

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‎-什麼？
‎-為什麼？

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‎因為我得甩了川特

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‎慢著，我以為你們感情不錯

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‎雖然我們很快樂

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‎但他實在很膚淺

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‎我隨時都可能

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‎突然放聲高歌或放聲大哭

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‎我不是應該跟其他藝術家

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‎至少跟射手座的在一起嗎？

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‎我的速配是妳

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‎嗨

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‎對啊，我的也是你

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‎哇，這些麻省理工學院的人真強

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‎大概吧

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‎可是這個測驗讓人毛毛的

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‎給人《1984》的感覺

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‎你說泰勒絲的專輯？

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‎不是啦，阿妮莎

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‎是喬治歐威爾寫的書

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‎天啊，我不是幫妳辦了借書證？

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‎我認為《1989》專輯的文學性

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‎比喬治歐威爾的所有作品都高

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‎是真的嗎？我只有聽播客節目

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‎威舍庫瑪醫師，下一個病人來了

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‎嗨，萊雅，妳今天怎麼來了？

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‎我只是想打聲招呼

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‎我手臂上起了會痛的小疹子

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‎但主要只是來打聲招呼

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‎好，讓我看看

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‎-好
‎-妳最近怎麼樣？

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‎-我很好，那妳呢？
‎-我很好

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‎-會癢嗎？
‎-會

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‎-會脫皮嗎？
‎-有一點

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‎看起來像體癬

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‎那是什麼？

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‎其實就是香港腳

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‎不過在這裡可以說是香港手

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‎我就知道那間瑜珈教室隨便洗瑜珈墊

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‎我有一次待比較晚
‎看到他們只是折起來

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‎別擔心，這是很常見的毛病

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‎我會開給妳除黴軟膏的藥單

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‎應該幾個禮拜就好了

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‎情人節當天感染黴菌，真性感

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‎妳今晚有事嗎？

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‎娜莉妮完全忘了情人節

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‎她一直以為這個節日很愚蠢

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‎可是穆罕走了後，感覺就不一樣了

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‎不要

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‎穆罕，不要

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‎我們去年就說好別送情人節禮物了

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‎這個不一樣，保證妳喜歡

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‎我幾乎沒花一毛錢

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‎你把自己做成搖頭娃娃送給我？

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‎對

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‎現在我太固執時，妳就能打我頭了

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‎你是不是故意把下巴做得好看一點？

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‎這個嘛…

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‎大概吧

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‎沒事

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‎我沒有過情人節的打算

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‎只能服侍家裡一群要東要西的人

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‎把我的錢和體力都榨乾了

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‎妳還是應該慶祝啊

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‎喂，妳必須挪出時間讓自己開心一下

139
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‎每天都要

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‎我每天晚上睡足六小時就是了啊

141
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‎我不是這個意思

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‎妳明晚要做什麼？我們姊妹出來一下

143
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‎我恐怕沒辦法

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‎真的太忙了

145
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‎抱歉

146
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‎好，沒關係

147
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‎不過我先留電話，以免妳反悔

148
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‎威舍庫瑪醫師

149
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‎妳的婆婆來電

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‎她不小心又把自己鎖在車庫裡了

151
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‎她說不急，不過瓦斯爐還沒關

152
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‎各位同學早安

153
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‎誰知道這是什麼？

154
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‎這是34C前扣式半罩型內衣

155
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‎不對，川特

156
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‎這個代表壓迫

157
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‎以前的材質比較易燃

158
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‎重點是

159
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‎我們要開始上女權運動單元

160
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‎而且要一直上到年底

161
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‎我們接下來四個月都要上女權運動？

162
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‎那水門案呢？

163
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‎伊朗軍售案呢？911事件呢？

164
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‎你要告訴這個教室裡的女同學

165
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‎你覺得這些事比她們的權益還重要？

166
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‎我們要知道其他事才能考預修測驗

167
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‎我要收回自己的時間

168
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‎第一個作業

169
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‎我要所有同學分組

170
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‎然後改寫《權利法案》

171
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‎假設寫的人不是那些建國之父

172
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‎而是建國之母

173
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‎妳說扯不扯？

174
00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,062
‎所以我們才需要真正的課本

175
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‎你說我都不念書

176
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‎所以我也無所謂

177
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‎抱歉，這個位子有人坐嗎？

178
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‎其實有，就是我的天菜男朋友

179
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‎而且他脾氣超恐怖，所以…

180
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‎可惡，帥哥都名草有主了

181
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‎妳的情人節怎麼樣？

182
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‎一開始還好

183
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‎結果我的速配心理測驗配到艾瑞克

184
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‎他沒那麼差啦

185
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‎每次都是他先發現我剪新髮型

186
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‎大概吧

187
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‎我只是希望能配到自己的超帥男朋友

188
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‎不過電腦顯然覺得我配不上他

189
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‎好，首先，妳是我的超辣女朋友

190
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‎第二

191
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‎電腦剛好覺得妳跟我很配

192
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‎讚美主

193
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‎誰管迪薇的絕配是不是艾瑞克？

194
00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,946
‎只要派克斯頓的絕配是她就好

195
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‎根據諾貝爾獎科學家的說法

196
00:08:51,574 --> 00:08:54,618
‎她是全世界唯一適合他的人

197
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‎所以閃一邊吧，海莉

198
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‎看來仍然是易燃材質，大家出去！

199
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‎男生和老師最後走

200
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‎寶貝，我有超讚的情人節計畫

201
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‎想像一下，燭光晚餐

202
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‎妳、我，還有我的喬伊叔叔

203
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‎記得穿性感一點

204
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‎川特，我們應該好好談一談

205
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‎每次有人跟我講這句話

206
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‎就一定有好消息

207
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‎我大概不能
‎跟你的喬伊叔叔一起過情人節

208
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,828
‎為什麼？因為他會搶牛角麵包？

209
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:41,665
‎還是妳擔心他會
‎要妳拍他的電視廣告？

210
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:44,960
‎不好意思，拍什麼？

211
00:09:45,044 --> 00:09:47,630
‎他的廣告啊，他開一家窗簾連鎖店

212
00:09:47,713 --> 00:09:50,049
‎妳加油時可能看過那些廣告

213
00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:53,719
‎慢著，你的喬伊叔叔就是喬伊船長

214
00:09:53,802 --> 00:09:56,013
‎那個強迫高價品跳海的海盜？

215
00:09:56,096 --> 00:09:57,056
‎就是他

216
00:09:57,723 --> 00:09:58,932
‎我們每次一起聚餐

217
00:09:59,016 --> 00:10:01,685
‎他就希望大家去拍他的下一支廣告

218
00:10:03,854 --> 00:10:06,357
‎不過我們還是可以單純吃大餐…

219
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:07,524
‎沒關係，我會去

220
00:10:08,233 --> 00:10:10,319
‎情人節的重點就是家人

221
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:12,112
‎謝謝你提醒我這一點

222
00:10:16,575 --> 00:10:17,409
‎嗨

223
00:10:18,202 --> 00:10:20,913
‎怎麼回事？妳剛才講話很不爽

224
00:10:20,996 --> 00:10:23,999
‎對，我不喜歡你之前跟我講話的態度

225
00:10:24,083 --> 00:10:26,502
‎你講借書證的話太傷人了

226
00:10:26,585 --> 00:10:29,380
‎阿妮莎，我是逗妳的，只是開玩笑

227
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:32,800
‎是玩笑話嗎？我好像真的很讓你丟臉

228
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,843
‎妳當然不會讓我丟臉

229
00:10:34,927 --> 00:10:38,514
‎妳厲害、長得漂亮、人超酷又很風趣

230
00:10:38,597 --> 00:10:40,724
‎不知道某個白痴作家又怎樣？

231
00:10:41,225 --> 00:10:43,310
‎我不會覺得我懂的事情妳都該懂

232
00:10:43,394 --> 00:10:44,978
‎又來了，就是這種話

233
00:10:45,062 --> 00:10:46,480
‎你真瞧不起人

234
00:10:47,189 --> 00:10:50,401
‎這樣吧，情人節大餐的事就改天了

235
00:10:50,484 --> 00:10:51,944
‎什麼？阿妮莎，等一下

236
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,029
‎別這樣，我不是那個意思

237
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,749
‎我們又在廁所巧遇了

238
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,086
‎對，法碧歐拉，有關那件事

239
00:11:10,379 --> 00:11:12,548
‎我真的很抱歉，竟然親了妳

240
00:11:13,507 --> 00:11:15,968
‎妳可以忘了這件事嗎？

241
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,928
‎好啊，沒問題

242
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,431
‎我還沒忘掉夏娃，所以…

243
00:11:20,931 --> 00:11:22,474
‎我會忘了這件事

244
00:11:23,726 --> 00:11:24,560
‎謝謝

245
00:11:28,939 --> 00:11:29,773
‎再聊

246
00:11:38,949 --> 00:11:42,369
‎這是灑莫札瑞拉乳酪的
‎家常義大利麵嗎？

247
00:11:42,453 --> 00:11:45,497
‎對啊，如果微波食品也叫家常菜的話

248
00:11:45,998 --> 00:11:48,500
‎不過我那片洋香菜確實是我親手切的

249
00:11:49,168 --> 00:11:50,711
‎那個應該是薄荷

250
00:11:51,295 --> 00:11:52,588
‎好喔，口感清涼

251
00:11:56,800 --> 00:12:00,512
‎你看看我們，乍看之下
‎別人可能覺得我們這對很奇怪

252
00:12:00,596 --> 00:12:03,474
‎因為你是派克斯頓霍爾吉田

253
00:12:03,557 --> 00:12:06,643
‎-我只是沒腹肌的小宅女
‎-什麼？

254
00:12:06,727 --> 00:12:08,312
‎別這樣講自己

255
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,607
‎拜託，妳那麼厲害，長得漂亮又聰明

256
00:12:11,690 --> 00:12:12,858
‎好啦，我只是說說

257
00:12:12,941 --> 00:12:15,861
‎但麻省理工學院的科學家
‎可不是隨便講講的

258
00:12:16,445 --> 00:12:17,279
‎我們很適合

259
00:12:17,362 --> 00:12:20,449
‎沒錯，就像紅醬和薄荷

260
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:24,495
‎對啊，或者傳統上更搭的東西

261
00:12:24,995 --> 00:12:27,039
‎不過，反正我們是最佳搭檔

262
00:12:27,915 --> 00:12:29,041
‎對，最佳搭檔

263
00:12:29,750 --> 00:12:30,834
‎啊，說到搭檔

264
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:33,420
‎我明天要跟朋友玩漆彈，要來嗎？

265
00:12:33,504 --> 00:12:35,172
‎絕對不要

266
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:37,591
‎不過話說回來，還好我們興趣不同

267
00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,885
‎因為電腦說個性不同會互相吸引

268
00:12:40,469 --> 00:12:41,303
‎一點也沒錯

269
00:12:42,262 --> 00:12:43,639
‎情人節快樂，迪薇

270
00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:48,060
‎靠

271
00:12:48,143 --> 00:12:50,771
‎我忘了我有買名牌帕瑪森乳酪搭配

272
00:12:50,854 --> 00:12:53,232
‎還不是綠色罐裝，是整塊要磨的

273
00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:54,775
‎我馬上回來

274
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:58,070
‎迪薇總算對自己的感情狀態安心了

275
00:12:58,153 --> 00:12:59,863
‎雖然她的標準很低

276
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:02,616
‎但她已經享用今生最浪漫的一餐

277
00:13:02,699 --> 00:13:05,077
‎現在只要放鬆心情

278
00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,746
‎等她帥到破表、寵妻無限的男朋友

279
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,374
‎帶來剛剛磨好的乳酪，然後…

280
00:13:10,457 --> 00:13:11,875
‎（艾瑞克柏金斯）

281
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,961
‎…當著她的面說謊

282
00:13:14,044 --> 00:13:14,962
‎搞什麼？

283
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:20,133
‎乾杯，祝我們有頓
‎最浪漫的情人節大餐

284
00:13:20,926 --> 00:13:22,928
‎-眼神要接觸
‎-好

285
00:13:23,512 --> 00:13:25,639
‎眼神要接觸，艾莉諾

286
00:13:25,722 --> 00:13:26,557
‎好

287
00:13:30,018 --> 00:13:32,688
‎所以，喬伊船長

288
00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:34,273
‎我是你的鐵粉

289
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:38,652
‎我喜歡你在廣告裡用鐵鉤義肢砍價格

290
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:40,070
‎還有窗簾

291
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:42,447
‎謝謝，我本來不想把窗簾砍一半

292
00:13:42,531 --> 00:13:44,449
‎可是拍其他鏡頭時忘了收音…

293
00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:46,785
‎演員的演出太精彩了

294
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,579
‎你去哪找演員的？

295
00:13:49,580 --> 00:13:50,998
‎大多是家族聚餐時找的

296
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:53,417
‎對了，艾莉諾是個演員

297
00:13:54,126 --> 00:13:55,460
‎而且演得非常好

298
00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:58,755
‎妳要的話可以演老鳥女海盜

299
00:13:59,590 --> 00:14:00,883
‎演你的下一支廣告？

300
00:14:01,592 --> 00:14:02,467
‎對啊

301
00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:05,929
‎天啊

302
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:08,724
‎我變成職業演員了

303
00:14:09,558 --> 00:14:12,269
‎我變成職業演員了，感激不盡

304
00:14:12,352 --> 00:14:15,230
‎不客氣，只要能幫
‎讓我姪子快樂的人就好

305
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:18,358
‎連大麻都沒辦法讓我這麼快樂

306
00:14:24,907 --> 00:14:27,075
‎情人節快樂，老公

307
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:40,130
‎迪薇，嗨，要跟我共進晚餐嗎？

308
00:14:40,213 --> 00:14:42,799
‎妳奶奶跟一個朋友出去慶祝情人節

309
00:14:42,883 --> 00:14:45,886
‎我看到妳表姊溜進妳老師開的小本田

310
00:14:45,969 --> 00:14:48,555
‎不用，我吃過了，現在只想回房間

311
00:14:50,265 --> 00:14:51,391
‎我明天有重要的考試

312
00:14:52,476 --> 00:14:57,940
‎娜莉妮想到要跟搖頭娃娃
‎看整個晚上的女性電影

313
00:14:58,023 --> 00:15:00,525
‎就不禁覺得也許

314
00:15:00,609 --> 00:15:03,654
‎她需要擴大社交圈

315
00:15:04,696 --> 00:15:06,657
‎嗨，萊雅，明天還有空嗎？

316
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:08,951
‎我是娜莉妮威舍庫瑪

317
00:15:09,034 --> 00:15:11,703
‎迪薇沒跟派克斯頓提到那張卡的事

318
00:15:11,787 --> 00:15:15,248
‎而是在剩下的晚餐時間假裝很快樂

319
00:15:15,332 --> 00:15:18,377
‎就像我1980年在溫布敦拿到亞軍一樣

320
00:15:18,961 --> 00:15:20,754
‎小子，你的表現很差啊

321
00:15:20,837 --> 00:15:23,632
‎哇，你真的沒騙人耶

322
00:15:23,715 --> 00:15:24,925
‎這個帕瑪森乳酪

323
00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:26,468
‎-真好吃
‎-沒錯吧？

324
00:15:26,551 --> 00:15:27,386
‎對啊

325
00:15:28,428 --> 00:15:30,055
‎我完全可以相信你

326
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:31,848
‎對乳酪的評價

327
00:15:38,647 --> 00:15:41,108
‎可是迪薇一直在鑽牛角尖

328
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,110
‎派克斯頓為什麼要騙她？

329
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,778
‎還有更重要的

330
00:15:44,861 --> 00:15:47,614
‎他的絕配就是她想的那個人嗎？

331
00:15:49,616 --> 00:15:51,118
‎（雪曼橡樹高中）

332
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:56,456
‎艾瑞克，我們得談速配心理測驗的事

333
00:15:56,540 --> 00:15:57,708
‎我知道你配到我

334
00:15:58,291 --> 00:16:01,503
‎小聲，妳想毀了我的名聲嗎，笨蛋？

335
00:16:01,586 --> 00:16:03,088
‎再講一次啊，宅男

336
00:16:04,172 --> 00:16:08,093
‎我這兩年來一直想找個辣妹女友

337
00:16:08,176 --> 00:16:09,469
‎提高自己的人氣

338
00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:12,848
‎別讓我只是個爸爸不見的小孩

339
00:16:12,931 --> 00:16:15,517
‎可惡，也許他們真的很像

340
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,770
‎我們在迪士尼樂園走散過
‎我還得在保全櫃臺附近等他

341
00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:19,896
‎天啊

342
00:16:20,772 --> 00:16:21,606
‎這小子

343
00:16:22,107 --> 00:16:24,609
‎我知道派克斯頓要你跟他換那張卡

344
00:16:24,693 --> 00:16:25,610
‎告訴我他配到誰

345
00:16:26,403 --> 00:16:28,405
‎有意思，妳覺得這張卡價值多少？

346
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,489
‎把卡給我就對了

347
00:16:29,573 --> 00:16:31,825
‎妳是說這張卡嗎？

348
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:36,329
‎妳可得付出昂貴的代價了

349
00:16:37,122 --> 00:16:38,290
‎海莉

350
00:16:38,832 --> 00:16:39,666
‎我真笨

351
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:42,711
‎我沒有，我沒說過那句話

352
00:16:42,794 --> 00:16:44,421
‎她在笑嗎？那就是5塊錢了

353
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:45,505
‎我沒笑

354
00:16:48,884 --> 00:16:51,303
‎妳情人節後來怎麼樣，有分手…

355
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,180
‎我男朋友

356
00:16:55,807 --> 00:16:57,434
‎我就當是沒分了

357
00:16:58,435 --> 00:17:02,981
‎我沒跟他分手
‎反而利用他接近他叔叔

358
00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:05,192
‎我要請妳好好解釋清楚

359
00:17:05,275 --> 00:17:07,486
‎他叔叔就是喬伊船長

360
00:17:07,569 --> 00:17:08,737
‎那個窗簾大亨？

361
00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,823
‎對，我費盡心機爭取出演他的廣告

362
00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:14,743
‎天啊，艾莉諾，妳要演廣告了？

363
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,953
‎對，但我真的覺得這樣很下流

364
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:18,747
‎那妳要怎麼辦？

365
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:22,250
‎看來我只好放棄川特和那支廣告了

366
00:17:23,502 --> 00:17:26,171
‎也許我哪天會遇到適合我的人

367
00:17:26,671 --> 00:17:28,799
‎對方的叔叔剛好也拍廣告

368
00:17:31,510 --> 00:17:33,261
‎艾瑞克把派克斯頓的卡給我看

369
00:17:33,345 --> 00:17:35,013
‎結果正好是海莉

370
00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:38,642
‎妳擔心他們之間有什麼嗎？

371
00:17:39,226 --> 00:17:40,352
‎我不知道

372
00:17:40,435 --> 00:17:41,561
‎應該沒有

373
00:17:42,145 --> 00:17:44,147
‎只是…不然他為什麼要說謊？

374
00:17:45,148 --> 00:17:48,068
‎派克斯頓不誠實的確有錯

375
00:17:48,151 --> 00:17:50,112
‎可是妳何必這麼在乎這個測驗？

376
00:17:50,195 --> 00:17:51,029
‎因為…

377
00:17:53,073 --> 00:17:56,409
‎我看到他跟海莉講話時，真的很嫉妒

378
00:17:56,993 --> 00:17:59,037
‎他們看起來好登對

379
00:17:59,121 --> 00:18:02,457
‎如果我說他們是一對
‎沒有人會跌破眼鏡

380
00:18:02,541 --> 00:18:05,710
‎妳覺得妳跟派克斯頓
‎會讓很多人跌破眼鏡？

381
00:18:05,794 --> 00:18:08,630
‎我一直擔心他只是突然腦袋壞掉

382
00:18:08,713 --> 00:18:11,007
‎才會跟個性古怪的聰明女生交往

383
00:18:11,091 --> 00:18:13,051
‎他可能隨時都會想

384
00:18:13,135 --> 00:18:15,220
‎“你知道我錯過了什麼嗎？

385
00:18:15,303 --> 00:18:19,599
‎有六塊肌的超辣女模
‎而且兩邊胸部大小對稱”

386
00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:24,437
‎小姐，首先，沒有人的胸部大小對稱

387
00:18:24,521 --> 00:18:26,690
‎每個人都有大小奶問題

388
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:30,569
‎第二，這種想法是在貶低你們兩個

389
00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:31,862
‎妳看這個女生

390
00:18:31,945 --> 00:18:34,614
‎-非看不可嗎？
‎-對，看她的限時動態

391
00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:37,742
‎她在這裡跳很酷的舞，好諷刺

392
00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:41,413
‎她在這裡做彼拉提斯
‎說不定“下面”還不會“噗”一聲

393
00:18:42,747 --> 00:18:44,249
‎現在她又玩漆彈

394
00:18:46,001 --> 00:18:49,254
‎慢著，她玩漆彈？醫生，我得走了

395
00:18:49,337 --> 00:18:51,423
‎迪薇，別走，先把療程做完

396
00:18:51,506 --> 00:18:53,175
‎迪薇，別去…

397
00:18:55,010 --> 00:18:55,844
‎靠

398
00:18:56,386 --> 00:18:58,847
‎我從來沒吃過巴西莓果餐

399
00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,056
‎真的？

400
00:19:00,140 --> 00:19:01,641
‎巴西莓果餐超棒的

401
00:19:01,725 --> 00:19:03,560
‎富含抗氧化物、纖維素

402
00:19:03,643 --> 00:19:04,936
‎能提升大腦功能

403
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:08,815
‎不過其實只是找藉口
‎吃一堆糖，還假裝對身體健康

404
00:19:10,525 --> 00:19:13,153
‎妳的語氣很像我先生，他超愛吃甜食

405
00:19:13,236 --> 00:19:14,821
‎有一次他吃了三盤“披薩餅”

406
00:19:14,905 --> 00:19:16,656
‎也就是跟披薩一樣大的餅乾

407
00:19:16,740 --> 00:19:18,450
‎吃完肚子痛死了

408
00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:22,704
‎但是就算他肚子很痛，還是能逗我笑

409
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:26,541
‎娜莉妮，妳真可憐
‎沒有他的日子一定很難過

410
00:19:27,751 --> 00:19:30,462
‎我沒想到昨天那麼難過

411
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:34,007
‎我一直以為情人節很蠢，可是昨晚

412
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,469
‎如果他能拿著在加油站買的玩具熊

413
00:19:37,552 --> 00:19:39,512
‎走進家門，我願意付出一切

414
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,097
‎真希望妳能圓夢

415
00:19:43,099 --> 00:19:45,018
‎我在診間看到他的照片

416
00:19:45,894 --> 00:19:47,103
‎真有妳的

417
00:19:48,772 --> 00:19:50,565
‎他真的很帥，對不對？

418
00:19:52,067 --> 00:19:53,818
‎但我最想念他的不是長相

419
00:19:53,902 --> 00:19:56,905
‎而是想念身邊他這個最好的朋友

420
00:19:57,864 --> 00:20:00,533
‎看來妳需要交個新朋友了

421
00:20:03,453 --> 00:20:06,248
‎我們找點樂子吧，想要勁爆一下嗎？

422
00:20:06,331 --> 00:20:08,583
‎我吃完這頓可能就得衝廁所“勁爆”了

423
00:20:10,502 --> 00:20:13,046
‎沒有啦，我是說髮型

424
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,673
‎那邊有一家快速造型美髮廳

425
00:20:14,756 --> 00:20:15,757
‎我搞錯了？完了

426
00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,009
‎好丟臉

427
00:20:19,678 --> 00:20:20,637
‎好像不錯

428
00:20:24,349 --> 00:20:26,518
‎大家好，我們來打漆彈吧

429
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:28,895
‎我以為妳不想玩

430
00:20:28,979 --> 00:20:30,146
‎我反悔啦

431
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:31,648
‎我常說

432
00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:34,693
‎一起打槍的情侶就能一起開心

433
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:37,779
‎哇，這個扳機真敏感

434
00:20:38,488 --> 00:20:40,073
‎好，我們已經分隊了

435
00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:41,866
‎不過川特那隊還少一人

436
00:20:43,368 --> 00:20:46,538
‎好啊，那我加入川特那一隊

437
00:20:46,621 --> 00:20:48,498
‎好，那就這樣，開始吧

438
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:52,752
‎歡迎加入本小隊，瘋女迪薇

439
00:20:52,836 --> 00:20:55,547
‎好，我已經想過了，我們的戰術是

440
00:20:56,047 --> 00:20:58,550
‎看到別隊的人就朝他們射漆彈

441
00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:00,510
‎第二個戰術是

442
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,513
‎別讓他們的漆彈射到你們

443
00:21:04,097 --> 00:21:06,391
‎小心點，因為海莉槍法神準

444
00:21:07,267 --> 00:21:08,351
‎她能有多厲害？

445
00:21:11,604 --> 00:21:13,982
‎-天啊
‎-對，她和派克斯頓會痛宰我們

446
00:21:14,482 --> 00:21:16,818
‎突然想到，我在玩之前要先嗨一下

447
00:21:17,319 --> 00:21:22,032
‎迪薇看著所謂的海莉和派克斯頓絕配

448
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:26,578
‎才發現愚蠢的速配測驗
‎已經讓她方寸大亂

449
00:21:26,661 --> 00:21:29,873
‎想要向前走，就只能忘掉心理測驗

450
00:21:30,373 --> 00:21:34,127
‎但是她也認為
‎想要忘掉心理測驗，唯一的辦法

451
00:21:34,210 --> 00:21:36,838
‎就是在玩漆彈時痛宰海莉

452
00:21:36,921 --> 00:21:39,883
‎證明她才是派克斯頓的絕配

453
00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:43,386
‎什麼？你以為她會成熟面對這件事？

454
00:21:54,564 --> 00:21:56,691
‎哇，我還真厲害

455
00:22:12,248 --> 00:22:14,000
‎我好容易瘀青

456
00:22:36,898 --> 00:22:40,151
‎-跪下
‎-什麼？

457
00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:44,072
‎妳一定以為能打敗我吧？

458
00:22:44,656 --> 00:22:47,283
‎我雖然沒妳漂亮，也沒妳靈活

459
00:22:47,367 --> 00:22:49,494
‎頭髮也沒妳的閃閃動人

460
00:22:49,577 --> 00:22:52,455
‎但是我有一股決心和毅力

461
00:22:52,539 --> 00:22:54,499
‎就像尊貴的蟑螂

462
00:22:55,083 --> 00:22:56,251
‎我不知道怎麼回事

463
00:22:56,334 --> 00:22:58,920
‎可以趕快開槍，讓我離場拿汽水嗎？

464
00:22:59,003 --> 00:23:01,840
‎好，等我準備好就會開槍…

465
00:23:04,008 --> 00:23:07,178
‎好耶！藍隊贏了，超強的！

466
00:23:09,556 --> 00:23:10,390
‎好耶！

467
00:23:14,644 --> 00:23:16,980
‎阿妮莎，等一下，妳一定要跟我說話

468
00:23:17,063 --> 00:23:21,067
‎我知道我錯了，我很爛，我很抱歉

469
00:23:21,860 --> 00:23:23,862
‎我覺得我們走不下去了

470
00:23:25,363 --> 00:23:27,282
‎什麼？不行，為什麼？

471
00:23:27,365 --> 00:23:29,200
‎我覺得你不尊重我

472
00:23:29,951 --> 00:23:31,744
‎你讓我覺得自己很笨

473
00:23:31,828 --> 00:23:33,288
‎可是我並不笨

474
00:23:34,247 --> 00:23:37,125
‎我的男友應該覺得
‎有這樣的我就很開心了

475
00:23:38,877 --> 00:23:40,837
‎也不會希望我是別人

476
00:23:49,637 --> 00:23:52,307
‎靠，為什麼我到哪裡都碰到妳？

477
00:23:53,016 --> 00:23:56,186
‎我不知道怎麼回答，不過我可以走

478
00:24:00,190 --> 00:24:01,983
‎等等，妳還好吧？

479
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:08,531
‎小班和我剛剛分手了

480
00:24:11,326 --> 00:24:13,161
‎阿妮莎，我真的很為妳難過

481
00:24:13,953 --> 00:24:17,248
‎這樣最好，他真的不適合我

482
00:24:18,291 --> 00:24:19,918
‎所以妳的測驗結果錯了

483
00:24:20,001 --> 00:24:22,253
‎沒有，我說我配到小班是騙人的

484
00:24:24,214 --> 00:24:26,174
‎我其實配到不認識的高一生

485
00:24:29,302 --> 00:24:33,598
‎聽我說，妳一定會
‎馬上找到另一個好男生

486
00:24:36,768 --> 00:24:41,731
‎或者認識一個好女生
‎如果妳親我不是因為運氣的話

487
00:24:42,899 --> 00:24:46,110
‎我相信一定還有合適的對象

488
00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:50,156
‎雖然這次談話內容
‎讓人不知該作何感想

489
00:24:50,240 --> 00:24:52,784
‎但法碧歐拉很高興，因為至少有開始

490
00:24:52,867 --> 00:24:56,371
‎另外，如果妳想找人聊天，我都奉陪

491
00:24:57,830 --> 00:24:58,790
‎謝謝，法碧歐拉

492
00:25:00,833 --> 00:25:02,085
‎妳真是個好朋友

493
00:25:10,093 --> 00:25:11,052
‎走路看路啦

494
00:25:12,887 --> 00:25:15,014
‎（完美情人：迪薇威舍庫瑪）

495
00:25:19,352 --> 00:25:20,395
‎海莉，辛苦了

496
00:25:20,478 --> 00:25:21,813
‎你竟然開槍打我

497
00:25:21,896 --> 00:25:24,857
‎你看到海莉和我坐那裡
‎結果還射我，我是你女友耶

498
00:25:24,941 --> 00:25:26,025
‎她是我的隊員

499
00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:27,485
‎我們不是最佳搭檔嗎？

500
00:25:28,152 --> 00:25:29,153
‎妳到底怎麼回事？

501
00:25:29,737 --> 00:25:30,697
‎我知道你騙人

502
00:25:30,780 --> 00:25:33,658
‎我知道你測的結果是海莉
‎但你騙我，為什麼？

503
00:25:34,742 --> 00:25:37,912
‎不曉得，我想如果妳知道
‎我配到海莉，可能不高興

504
00:25:37,996 --> 00:25:39,414
‎你為什麼會這麼想？

505
00:25:39,497 --> 00:25:42,000
‎就因為妳現在這個樣子

506
00:25:42,083 --> 00:25:46,087
‎而且自從海莉跟我
‎又變成朋友後，妳變得很怪

507
00:25:46,170 --> 00:25:48,423
‎更別說是妳要我道歉的

508
00:25:48,506 --> 00:25:51,509
‎抱歉啦，可是她那麼漂亮，槍法又好

509
00:25:51,593 --> 00:25:53,636
‎在萬聖節扮古墓奇兵絕對超適合

510
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:55,263
‎叫我怎麼跟她比？

511
00:25:55,346 --> 00:25:56,431
‎不用比

512
00:25:56,514 --> 00:25:58,891
‎海莉跟我只是朋友，我是跟妳在一起

513
00:25:58,975 --> 00:26:02,729
‎我知道，可是我不知道為什麼

514
00:26:02,812 --> 00:26:03,688
‎什麼為什麼？

515
00:26:04,188 --> 00:26:06,983
‎我為什麼跟妳在一起？因為我喜歡妳

516
00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:09,360
‎對，可是為什麼？

517
00:26:09,861 --> 00:26:11,529
‎大家都覺得我們在一起很奇怪

518
00:26:12,113 --> 00:26:14,616
‎不對，是妳覺得我們在一起很奇怪

519
00:26:15,325 --> 00:26:16,993
‎因為我們在學校走動時

520
00:26:17,076 --> 00:26:18,786
‎我知道大家都在想什麼

521
00:26:18,870 --> 00:26:20,455
‎“他怎麼跟她在一起？

522
00:26:20,538 --> 00:26:21,456
‎她根本配不上他”

523
00:26:21,539 --> 00:26:23,625
‎幹嘛管別人怎麼想？

524
00:26:24,125 --> 00:26:25,710
‎我覺得妳就已經夠好

525
00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:28,212
‎但是我沒辦法繼續說服妳了

526
00:26:30,298 --> 00:26:31,257
‎這是什麼意思？

527
00:26:31,883 --> 00:26:34,469
‎迪薇，我真的很喜歡妳，但是…

528
00:26:36,387 --> 00:26:38,640
‎除非妳真的喜歡自己

529
00:26:38,723 --> 00:26:40,099
‎否則我們不可能走得下去

530
00:26:43,353 --> 00:26:44,228
‎對不起

531
00:26:59,285 --> 00:27:00,411
‎哇，艾莉諾

532
00:27:01,829 --> 00:27:03,873
‎妳也來玩漆彈？

533
00:27:03,956 --> 00:27:06,334
‎真怪，我沒想到妳有這個興趣

534
00:27:06,417 --> 00:27:08,961
‎並不是，川特，我有話要跟你說

535
00:27:09,045 --> 00:27:10,588
‎那還好我也在這裡

536
00:27:11,923 --> 00:27:15,218
‎我就直說吧，我要跟你坦承一件事

537
00:27:15,885 --> 00:27:18,680
‎我利用你得到你叔叔給的廣告機會

538
00:27:18,763 --> 00:27:20,181
‎我本來要跟你分手

539
00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:21,516
‎結果你跟我講這件事

540
00:27:21,599 --> 00:27:25,812
‎所以我用絲絲入扣的演技蒙蔽了你

541
00:27:26,312 --> 00:27:28,231
‎但是我不會接那個廣告的

542
00:27:28,314 --> 00:27:30,233
‎而且你再也不必見到我了

543
00:27:30,316 --> 00:27:31,943
‎我們很多課都在一起

544
00:27:32,527 --> 00:27:35,363
‎好吧，你會在上那些課時看到我

545
00:27:35,446 --> 00:27:37,448
‎不過有用的話，我可以蒙面紗

546
00:27:37,532 --> 00:27:39,325
‎艾莉諾，我知道妳想甩我

547
00:27:39,951 --> 00:27:41,160
‎我不是很好的男朋友

548
00:27:41,244 --> 00:27:44,372
‎很多輔導老師都說過
‎我有性格幼稚的診斷證明

549
00:27:45,790 --> 00:27:47,750
‎其實我才蒙蔽了妳

550
00:27:47,834 --> 00:27:48,793
‎什麼？

551
00:27:48,876 --> 00:27:50,378
‎我拿喬伊叔叔來誘惑妳

552
00:27:50,461 --> 00:27:53,423
‎就像把紅蘿蔔
‎放在紅蘿蔔痴的面前一樣

553
00:27:53,923 --> 00:27:56,509
‎我知道他的好萊塢人脈
‎會讓妳留在我身邊

554
00:27:56,592 --> 00:27:57,510
‎慢著

555
00:27:58,052 --> 00:28:00,722
‎我們為了各取所需，竟然欺騙對方？

556
00:28:02,098 --> 00:28:04,559
‎天啊，我們已經像真正的名人夫妻了

557
00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,689
‎我真的很喜歡妳，艾莉諾

558
00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:13,818
‎我知道我看起來
‎就像24小時沉迷性愛的人

559
00:28:15,027 --> 00:28:18,489
‎但其實妳是我第一個女朋友
‎所以我沒什麼安全感

560
00:28:27,790 --> 00:28:29,292
‎迪薇，妳知道嗎？

561
00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:31,335
‎我今天跟一個好姊妹出去玩

562
00:28:31,419 --> 00:28:34,756
‎妳看我的勁爆髮型，簡直像主播

563
00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:37,300
‎對啊，很棒，媽媽

564
00:28:37,383 --> 00:28:38,593
‎妳還好吧？

565
00:28:38,676 --> 00:28:42,889
‎還好，只是我之前提到的考試沒考好

566
00:28:47,226 --> 00:28:48,311
‎迪薇

567
00:28:49,228 --> 00:28:50,772
‎到底怎麼回事？

568
00:28:50,855 --> 00:28:52,523
‎跟男生有關嗎？

569
00:28:52,607 --> 00:28:56,027
‎雖然我不讓妳交男朋友
‎但妳難過時，我還是會關心

570
00:28:57,236 --> 00:28:59,864
‎對，跟男生有關

571
00:28:59,947 --> 00:29:02,492
‎而且我真的很喜歡他

572
00:29:06,871 --> 00:29:07,872
‎過來

573
00:30:09,433 --> 00:30:10,560
‎字幕翻譯：溫鳳祺