1
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This is Devi Vishwakumar,
2
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a 16-year-old girl
from the San Fernando Valley…
3
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…and now Paxton's ex-girlfriend.
4
00:00:21,147 --> 00:00:21,981
Remember this?
5
00:00:22,065 --> 00:00:23,399
Look, I'm sorry.
6
00:00:23,483 --> 00:00:27,487
The moment where Devi blew it
with her dream man for the second time.
7
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Yeah, we all lost something that day.
8
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As you can imagine,
she did not take it well
9
00:00:34,285 --> 00:00:37,914
and plunged headfirst
into all of the stages of breakup grief.
10
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She raged.
11
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-She wallowed.
12
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And after several long,
pretty-hard-to-watch months,
13
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she finally accepted it.
14
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Also, this little bit
was supposed to show the passing of time,
15
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but there aren't any seasons
in Southern California.
16
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See, there are some little pumpkins
on the porch.
17
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Anyway, now she was back to being
her normal nerdy, Indian virgin self
18
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and was finally at peace with her breakup,
19
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and could now smile at Paxton
without bursting into tears.
20
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Hi.
-Well, that is until she heard the news.
21
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Paxton has a new girlfriend.
22
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Yep.
Hard to be at peace with that.
23
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How you feeling?
24
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You want a hit off my inhaler?
25
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No. No. I'm fine.
26
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I knew this day would come,
and I feel very prepared for it.
27
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-Who is it?
-Phoebe Hayward.
28
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Handjob Hayward?
Sherman Oaks' hugest skankosaurus.
29
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Could he stoop any lower?
30
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I'm sorry.
That wasn't very feminist of me.
31
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I'm sure all the rumors about her
were perpetuated by the patriarchy.
32
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It's interesting
how women can't rage
33
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without thinking about it in the context
of other people's oppression.
34
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I'm really happy I'm a man.
35
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You okay?
36
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Uh-- Yeah. I'm all right.
37
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I know it sucks he moved on before you,
38
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but it's not like
you're a loser or anything.
39
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Look at Aneesa.
She hasn't dated anyone since Ben.
40
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She hasn't, right?
41
00:02:03,791 --> 00:02:07,044
You would know better than we would.
You guys are like such good friends now.
42
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Oh yeah, we're good friends now.
43
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Devi, please pick up some extra
toilet paper on your way home tonight.
44
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And not the cheap kind. My guests deserve
the one that feels like a little quilt.
45
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Great. While Paxton's banging the captain
of the gymnastics team,
46
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I'll be making sure
a bunch of elderly butts are clean.
47
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-Huh?
-Uh-- Nothing.
48
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My grandma's just throwing a party
for Navaratri tonight.
49
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What's Navaratri?
50
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Oh, Navaratri is a nine-day Hindu festival
that commemorates the great battle
51
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between the demon Mahishasura
and goddess Durga. Right, Devi?
52
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Yeah. That's… That's basically it.
53
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She has no clue
what Navaratri is.
54
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Ugh! It's gonna be all old people.
55
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I wish I wasn't so terrified of drugs,
so I could be high for it.
56
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Oh, wait.
Trent and Paxton are coming over.
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And I'm like, "Grandma, stop trying to eat
your toothbrush. It's not a hot dog."
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Thanks to their best friends,
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Devi and Paxton were occasionally forced
into awkward moments like this.
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-Hi.
-Hey.
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Hey, babe. Hey, babe's friends.
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So as you may have heard,
today is my 18th birthday.
63
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You announced it over the loudspeaker
in the middle of the Pledge of Allegiance.
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Good ear, Crazy Devi.
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Anyway, I would like
to give you, Paxton, my best friend,
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and you, Eleanor, my girlfriend, a chance
to throw me a birthday party tonight.
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Oh, okay.
68
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Kind of late notice,
but I guess we can do that.
69
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Of course we can.
70
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Oh my God, you guys,
that's so generous of you.
71
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We could do it at my place.
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My folks will be in Morongo trying
to gamble back the car they lost.
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Cool. So, what are you thinking
theme-wise?
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I would love to throw an Age
of Innocence party with little masks.
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I want this
to be the most insane, puke-filled rager
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in the history of the school
and everybody has gotta come.
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Eleanor, bring your friend.
Friend, bring your robot.
78
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Paxton, bring your new girlfriend.
And, Paxton, bring your old girlfriend.
79
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Oh, uh, Trent,
I actually can't come tonight.
80
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It's a huge Hindu holiday.
So gotta celebrate that.
81
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Oh, that's a bummer to hear, but honestly,
we're not really that close of friends.
82
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So I'm not going to change the date, okay?
83
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Okay.
84
00:04:08,541 --> 00:04:09,375
Hey.
85
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Oh. Uh, hi.
86
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So, listen,
I know why you're not going to Trent's.
87
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You've heard of Navaratri too?
88
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Damn. Was it in an episode
of Indian Matchmaking?
89
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Devi, come on.
I know you're not very religious.
90
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You're not going to Trent's
because of Phoebe, right?
91
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No, no, no, no. It's a real holiday.
92
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It's about-- Hold on.
Let me talk to Fabiola.
93
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No, no. It's okay.
94
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All I wanted to say is
I know we haven't talked in a while,
95
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but I-I'm really sorry
if this Phoebe thing hurts you.
96
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Hurts me?
97
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No. I'm fine, brosef.
98
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I'm also talking to people,
loads of guys, so…
99
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Okay. I thought we could
have an honest conversation here,
100
00:04:45,911 --> 00:04:48,164
but maybe it's too soon for that.
101
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Uh-- I was being honest.
102
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It's a real holiday,
and I'm happy, and healthy, and Hindu.
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You should've seen
the look of pity on his face.
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He, like, totally thought I was lying.
105
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You were kinda lying
about talking to loads of guys.
106
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No, I wasn't.
I talked to like ten guys today.
107
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When you bitched out the percussion
section for being off tempo?
108
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And what about it, Fabiola?
109
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Okay. Listen, you have to go
to Trent's tonight.
110
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Yeah. Otherwise, you're gonna seem
so heartbroken and pathetic,
111
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maybe even borderline obsessed.
112
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Which I'm not. I'm totally fine.
113
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I know, which is why you have to go.
114
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Yeah.
But how do I get out of Navaratri?
115
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Devi-- How are you not dressed yet?
116
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Get ready,
and go bring your grandmother the butter.
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-She has a bangle stuck on her wrist.
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Oh!
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Bye.
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Pati, your Golu is so fire.
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Like, look at this. You got Lord Ganesha,
Durga, Lakshmi, you know, all the OGs.
122
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That's right.
123
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But then you got some straight-up flare
like this little crystal dolphin
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or DIY Sanjay Gupta.
125
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-Hubba-hubba.
-Yo.
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You are gonna own
all the other aunties' Golus.
127
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It's not a competition, Devi.
128
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Yeah, right.
The whole reason you throw a Golu
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is so you can stunt
on the other old ladies.
130
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-Am I right, Pati?
-Yes.I plan to stunt hard.
131
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That's why I have
this pièce de résistance.
132
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-Uh, what is that?
-A Bloomie's bag.
133
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Not even from the outlet.
134
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And there's even a receipt inside
from my Shiseido's perfume.
135
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That gossipy cow Smita
is gonna faint when she sees this.
136
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Mami, why did you invite Smita
if you hate her so much?
137
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Because she's my friend.
138
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Although I know she's going to go on
and on about her granddaughter's wedding
139
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at the Universal Studios.
140
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If only I could have something
to brag about to her.
141
00:06:38,399 --> 00:06:40,985
Well, you could tell her
that I've been dating a very nice teacher
142
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who I like very much.
143
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No.
144
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Why won't you go out with any of the other
young men I've introduced you to?
145
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Because, once again, I am seeing Manish,
and if you just give him a chance--
146
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:52,830
I have given him many chances.
147
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Surprising him with pop quizzes
on Indian history is not a chance.
148
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It would have been
had he gotten any answer right.
149
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You need to find someone
who cares about our culture.
150
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That Manish probably thinks a Golu
is a GoPro camera for the toilet.
151
00:07:05,050 --> 00:07:07,803
Damn, Pati.
That was a savage burn.
152
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Sorry, Kamala.
153
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So, where should we put Sanjay?
154
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If he's in the center,
the Golu will be too sexy.
155
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-Hey!
156
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Hi.
157
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Okay. We've got three kegs courtesy of
the adult lady Uber driver I flirted with.
158
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-So we should be set for the evening.
-Get me up, boys. Yeah!
159
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And now the boy becomes a man.
160
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Feed me.
161
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-Aw. Trent seems happy.
162
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Yeah, he does.
163
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Hey, listen.
Could you check on Devi tonight?
164
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She seemed kind of upset
when I talked to her today.
165
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We've been out of touch for a while.
166
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:47,218
-I just wanna make sure she's okay.
-Oh, I'm sure she is.
167
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,512
-I don't think she cares about your girl--
-Hey!
168
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Oh wow! You look amazing!
169
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:55,100
Oh, shit. Those are some small clothes.
170
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,815
You have to pump it and tilt your cup,
or it's gonna be all foam.
171
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God, have you never been
to a party before?
172
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No. I was sick for a really long time.
173
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Oh. Sorry.
174
00:08:11,784 --> 00:08:13,577
Oh my God! What's your problem?
175
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,121
How are you even condescending about beer?
176
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:19,333
I'm not condescending. I get annoyed
when people don't know how to do things.
177
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,960
The problem with you, Ben,
178
00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:23,379
is that you think
you're so much smarter than everyone else.
179
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And you're not.
This is why Aneesa dumped you.
180
00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:28,759
Whatever.
And I am smarter than most people.
181
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:29,969
You're not smarter than me.
182
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Well, I mean, sure, you got a whole
robotic science nerd thing going on,
183
00:08:33,722 --> 00:08:35,724
but I'm great in all my classes.
184
00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:38,060
You are so full of yourself.
185
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,813
I bet I can beat you
in any subject. Name one.
186
00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:42,815
Fine. How about history?
187
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,108
Fantastic.
188
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:45,568
Hey, Trent, do you still have
189
00:08:45,651 --> 00:08:47,611
our American History textbook
from freshman year?
190
00:08:47,695 --> 00:08:50,489
Uh, yeah. I think it's propping up
my grow lamp upstairs.
191
00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:54,076
All right, history it is.
And you know what?
192
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,328
Let's make it interesting.
A drinking game.
193
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,247
If you get one wrong, you drink.
194
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,583
First person to tap out loses.
195
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,710
You're on, and I'll never tap.
196
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:05,296
I come from a long line
of high-functioning alcoholics.
197
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,632
And I come from a long line of people
who never get any questions wrong.
198
00:09:08,716 --> 00:09:11,635
-Hmm.
-Also, I'm really sorry about your family.
199
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:18,892
And then after the vows,
we went to the Transformers ride,
200
00:09:18,976 --> 00:09:21,520
and Optimus Prime gave his blessings.
201
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:23,689
-It was stunning.
202
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,191
You are not going to believe this.
203
00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:29,320
This is what Phoebe is wearing!
204
00:09:29,403 --> 00:09:34,199
Oh, I will. We'll probably do something
at Disneyland, with probably 2,000 people.
205
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:37,036
Although, I don't know how
we'll whittle down the guest list to that.
206
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,412
-Really?
207
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:40,372
But who will be getting married?
208
00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:45,044
We'd heard about how things didn't go
so well with that handsome engineer.
209
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:47,379
Oh, such a shame.
210
00:09:47,463 --> 00:09:50,132
What's a real shame
is how quickly your face-lift has relaxed.
211
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,676
Okay. Okay.
212
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,511
We'll just talk about something else.
213
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:57,181
So Rhyah made the sundal.
Isn't it delicious?
214
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,892
Rhyah, can you please list
every ingredient in this dish, please?
215
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:02,978
Yeah, no, of course. So there's chickpeas
that are organic and locally sourced,
216
00:10:03,062 --> 00:10:04,521
-which does matter--
217
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:07,316
-Locally sourced from--
-Sorry. I have to take this call.
218
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:10,152
-Please don't.
-I'm so sorry. I know. Sweetheart, hi.
219
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,321
Wait, we can be on our phones? BRB.
220
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:15,074
Apparently, I have to be
the cartoon hot dog
221
00:10:15,157 --> 00:10:18,744
before the movie starts
and ask everyone to silence your phones.
222
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:21,747
-Yo.
-What's the latest?
223
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,457
-Can you get out?
-I don't know how.
224
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,292
There's aunties parked at every exit.
225
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,380
It's tighter security than a Sephora.
226
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:31,298
Well, Paxton just asked me
to check on you.
227
00:10:31,382 --> 00:10:33,050
I think he thinks you're like locked away
228
00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:35,886
in your room descending
into madness, à la Queen's Gambit.
229
00:10:35,969 --> 00:10:39,139
Ugh! Damn. I just wish
I had some kind of distraction.
230
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,936
-Hello?
-Holy shit. Mr. K.?
231
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,979
Polite as always, Devi.
232
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:48,857
Hey, El. I think I just found my window.
233
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:51,527
-Hi, Manish. Welcome.
-What is he doing here?
234
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:55,531
Well, I thought Manish could come over
and celebrate our culture with us,
235
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:58,617
-and you could get to know one another.
-Vanakkam, Auntie.
236
00:11:00,119 --> 00:11:01,537
All right, cool it, WikiFeet.
237
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:05,290
-Yep. Sorry. It felt weird for me too.
-Well, who do we have here?
238
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,793
This is just Devi's teacher Mr. Kulkarni.
239
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:11,797
He has stopped by to congratulate Devi
on being such a great student.
240
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,507
And he's also my boyfriend.
241
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,760
Oh. Please come have a seat.
242
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,346
Let us get to know you. Mmm? Come.
243
00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:21,849
Hey, Mom, it seems like
there's a lot going on down here.
244
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:25,269
So I'm just gonna go upstairs to my room
for a sec. Got a little bit of a headache.
245
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,229
Enna, kanna? Yeah. Sure.
246
00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:38,907
You are no one's obsessed, sad sack ex.
247
00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:40,617
Yeah.
248
00:11:44,663 --> 00:11:45,539
Hmph!
249
00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:50,335
-Hey! What are you doing?
250
00:11:50,919 --> 00:11:52,463
Ah…
251
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:56,175
It was so weird. My contact blew out
of my eye and then onto the roof.
252
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:59,178
-So--
-Get back inside. Now.
253
00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,054
Okay.
254
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,057
Your punishment is to sit
and watch the aunties chew.
255
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,351
-Okay.
-Now hand out the vadais. Go.
256
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:14,359
Nirmala Auntie, I couldn't help but notice
how impressive your Golu is.
257
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:19,406
It is a beautiful tribute
to the goddess and her nine avatars.
258
00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:24,286
Last year, my Golu was seven steps,
two more than Nirmala's.
259
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:27,122
But your steps had a lot of empty spaces.
260
00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:30,083
I… I think five steps
shows appropriate restraint
261
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,628
in avoiding the consumerism
of the holiday.
262
00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:35,672
Thank you, Manish.
That's very kind of you to say.
263
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,216
Help yourself to a vada.
264
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:39,510
I could have a couple.
265
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:40,552
-Just one.
-Just--
266
00:12:40,636 --> 00:12:41,470
Okay.
267
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:45,265
-Rhyah, I was looking for you.
268
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,309
Sorry. I was having a moment.
269
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:48,811
Oh no.
270
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,563
Are you okay? What's going on?
271
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,358
I was just talking to my son.
272
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,778
He's just finished
this high school program at sea
273
00:12:57,861 --> 00:13:00,030
for aspiring marine biologists.
274
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,825
And he actually studied a sea slug colony.
275
00:13:02,908 --> 00:13:05,202
Ever since he got back,
his friends won't hang out with him,
276
00:13:05,285 --> 00:13:07,037
and one even called him Dork Cousteau.
277
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,790
And now he's home alone,
and it just breaks my heart.
278
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,751
If there was one thing
Nalini could relate to,
279
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:16,046
it was the pain
of having your nerdy child ostracized.
280
00:13:16,129 --> 00:13:17,506
I know what that's like.
281
00:13:17,589 --> 00:13:19,508
People have called my daughter
all sorts of names.
282
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:23,136
I wish I could just go and make him
some new friends instead of those little,
283
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,055
pardon my language, assholes.
284
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:29,059
But I know I can't.
285
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,437
Go see your friends and--
286
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:36,233
Okay. Wait, so now you want me
to go to the party at Trent's house?
287
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:37,693
Are you having a stroke?
288
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:40,153
No. I take a baby aspirin
with my tea every morning.
289
00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:41,446
Okay. Then, what's up?
290
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:42,990
I want you to go to the party,
291
00:13:43,073 --> 00:13:45,117
and I want you
to take Rhyah's son with you.
292
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:46,952
What? Who's Rhyah's son?
293
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,830
He's a sweet boy who has no friends
and studies sea slugs.
294
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:50,998
His name is Nirdesh.
295
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,124
Nirdesh?
296
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:53,625
Are you kidding me?
297
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:56,962
Yeah, that sounds like a parody
of an Indian nerd. I'd rather just not go.
298
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,423
What? You were so excited
about this party a minute ago.
299
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:02,342
You were throwing your body off the roof.
300
00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:05,971
Hey, not to alarm you,
but people overheard my call to you,
301
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:08,640
and now they actually do think
you're descending into madness.
302
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:10,142
So, get here soon, okay?
303
00:14:10,225 --> 00:14:11,852
Ugh! Fine.
304
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:14,730
I'll go to the party,
and I'll take Nirdesh with me.
305
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:17,733
Excellent. And make sure
no one bullies him there.
306
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,776
He's already been picked on enough.
307
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,574
Hey, hey. I'm here.
308
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:31,914
Hi. Oh my gosh, I don't know where Paxton
and Phoebe went, but you look so cute.
309
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,708
When they see you, they're not gonna think
obsessive depressive.
310
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,877
They're gonna think impressive successive.
311
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,754
I think you mean successful.
312
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,714
Yeah, but that doesn't sound as jazzy.
313
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:44,509
Sure. So there's just one small,
tiny hiccup tonight.
314
00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:47,804
My mom wouldn't let me come unless
I brought one of her friends' loser kids.
315
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,014
He's meeting me here.
316
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,557
-Oh, this is him.
317
00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:52,434
"Hi, it's Nirdesh."
318
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,644
"I'm running behind."
319
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:56,438
"I spilled some rasam on my sweater vest
and had to change."
320
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:57,773
"I should be there shortly."
321
00:14:57,856 --> 00:14:59,358
Yikes!
322
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:01,777
This kid is like a medical-grade dork.
323
00:15:01,860 --> 00:15:03,612
Maybe we could tell everyone
he's my cousin.
324
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,530
Ow! Ben.
325
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:06,782
Sorry, David, but we need you.
326
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:09,660
If I asked you who fought
at the Battle of Little Bighorn,
327
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:12,371
and you said General Custard,
that should count, right?
328
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:15,624
Custard is a dessert.
Custer is the general.
329
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:17,250
Whatever! I've had four beers.
330
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,585
What's the big deal?
331
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:19,711
Drink, bitch.
332
00:15:19,795 --> 00:15:21,713
Ugh! You know what I meant.
333
00:15:22,255 --> 00:15:23,215
What are you guys doing?
334
00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:28,637
Playing a little drinking game called
Are You Smarter Than a Ben?
335
00:15:29,262 --> 00:15:30,764
-That was good.
336
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,141
Oh my God. That is so lame.
337
00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:37,187
Ooh. What if I drop off my cousin
with these two
338
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,897
while I go make an appearance with Paxton?
339
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,565
-You have a cousin coming?
-I do.
340
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:43,485
So if you see an Indian dork
come through that door, let me know.
341
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:46,279
I see an Indian guy
coming through the door,
342
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:49,157
but he definitely
does not look like a dork.
343
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,002
Oh shit.
344
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,798
I don't wanna jinx it,
but I think this is going really well.
345
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,800
Your grandmother
even looked me in the eye once.
346
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,468
I got too excited and I looked away.
347
00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:09,886
I know. I feel good about it too.
348
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,847
What are you doing?
349
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:14,683
Oh God, Manish.
Did you take that off the step?
350
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,601
I thought someone put it there as trash.
351
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,270
There's a receipt in it and everything.
352
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:20,397
The receipt is what makes it so special.
353
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,691
This Bloomie's bag represented
the American Dream,
354
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:24,943
and you have filled it with dirty napkins.
355
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:27,070
Oh my God. I am so, so sorry.
356
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,655
-Ooh, do I hear drama?
-No!
357
00:16:30,282 --> 00:16:32,784
-Oh my God.
-Oh my God! Let me help you.
358
00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:35,078
No, uh, Manish.
I think maybe you should just go.
359
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:37,956
-Are you okay?
-What are you doing? Who did this?
360
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:40,667
-Does that hurt?
361
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,963
Hi, Devi? I'm Nirdesh,
but my friends call me Des.
362
00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:45,881
Hi.
363
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:48,467
How come your cousin's
introducing himself to you?
364
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:51,553
What? I'm not her cousin.
Did you tell them I'm your cousin?
365
00:16:51,636 --> 00:16:54,264
Uh-huh.
I may have said that. Yeah.
366
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,059
Only because she thought
you were gonna be a huge loser,
367
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,477
which you're definitely not.
368
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:02,064
You thought I was gonna be
a huge loser based on what?
369
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:06,526
Well, because certain
cultural context clues and…
370
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:07,569
Because I'm Indian?
371
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,530
Okay, um, I think I'm good.
372
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,532
Wait. Des, no. I'm so sorry.
373
00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:15,494
I did not mean to offend you.
But, hey, let's be honest.
374
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,412
There's a lot of nerdy Indian guys.
375
00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:21,708
Don't know if you know this, but your name
does have the word "nerd" in it, so…
376
00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:25,337
Oh wow. You're the first person
who's ever said that to me.
377
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,464
Definitely no one
in elementary school did.
378
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:30,592
Look, it's… it's fine.
I've met a million of you before.
379
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:32,928
You're one of those Indian girls
who only likes white guys,
380
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:35,680
and thinks all Indian dudes
are just computer geeks
381
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:37,599
or cheesy club rats
who wear too much cologne.
382
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,309
No, that's not what I'm like.
383
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,019
That's exactly what she's like.
384
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:43,355
Okay, Des, I am so sorry.
385
00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:45,482
I didn't mean anything by it.
386
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,068
Please just stay.
And let's go get a drink and--
387
00:17:53,949 --> 00:17:54,783
I'm sorry.
388
00:18:03,917 --> 00:18:06,753
Hey, you okay? What happened?
389
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:10,215
One minute you were apologizing
to me for mild racism,
390
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:11,591
the next, you're crying.
391
00:18:11,675 --> 00:18:14,761
Yeah, um, I'm sorry. Uh, that was my ex.
392
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:18,849
Ah. Okay. I see.
393
00:18:18,932 --> 00:18:20,767
Yeah. Um…
394
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:26,148
I thought I was ready
to see him with someone new.
395
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,192
I'd been practicing
with stuffed animals from my room.
396
00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:31,236
Guess it didn't help.
397
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:34,072
Well, look, now it's done.
398
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,782
You saw your ex with someone else.
399
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:37,576
You survived.
400
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:40,078
That was the worst it's gonna be.
401
00:18:40,829 --> 00:18:42,289
Yeah, I guess.
402
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:45,542
How does someone like you
not have any friends?
403
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,544
What? I have tons of friends.
404
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:52,132
My mom said to take you tonight
because all of your friends ditched you.
405
00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,342
Another reason
I kind of thought you were a dork.
406
00:18:54,426 --> 00:18:55,719
Oh.
407
00:18:55,802 --> 00:18:57,929
My mom loves to exaggerate.
408
00:18:58,013 --> 00:19:00,390
Only one of my friends
isn't talking to me right now
409
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,934
and it's because
I hooked up with a girl he liked.
410
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,104
Twist! So you're not a dork.
411
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,939
You're just a bad person?
412
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:10,609
No, I didn't know he liked her,
413
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:13,737
and he should've said something before
I lived on a boat with her for 3 months.
414
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,907
Everyone knows Semester at Sea
is a floating hookup party.
415
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:21,828
Shit. Was this kid somehow
making sea slug school sound hot?
416
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:26,374
Okay, so you're not a dork,
and you're not a jerk.
417
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:29,586
So, you're a nice, cool person?
418
00:19:30,295 --> 00:19:32,589
Yeah, and maybe I can help you out.
419
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,884
What if we went back in there
and made your ex jealous?
420
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,429
Kind of seems fun, right?
421
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,280
All right.
I think we're exactly in his eyeline.
422
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:07,958
Yes, Devi!
423
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,961
Paxton's looking right at you,
and he seems jealous.
424
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:12,629
It's working.
425
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,381
Devi, why aren't you looking?
426
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:18,927
Oh, wait. I see what's happening here.
427
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:31,147
-You okay?
428
00:20:31,231 --> 00:20:33,525
Oh yes! Someone's puking.
429
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:37,028
Thank you, babe. I can't believe
all my birthday dreams are coming true.
430
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:41,449
I'm really sorry I made you drink so much
in the lightning round.
431
00:20:41,533 --> 00:20:45,620
I knew I had you on Reconstruction.
I watched a PBS doc on it with Gears.
432
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,163
It's okay. I deserve it.
433
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:50,750
I know that I'm a dick sometimes.
I get why you don't like me.
434
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:52,127
It's not that I don't like you.
435
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:54,671
I just don't like how you've treated
my friends in the past.
436
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,631
You were a real jerk to Aneesa.
437
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,301
Yeah, can't argue with you on that one.
438
00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:02,345
And you were also so mean
to Devi for, like, years.
439
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:03,888
Not fair. She was also mean to me.
440
00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:06,474
Yeah, but you called us the UN,
which was pretty brutal.
441
00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:07,767
Yeah, well, she broke my heart.
442
00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:10,353
She broke your heart?
443
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:15,150
-Yeah, kinda.
-Oh.
444
00:21:15,984 --> 00:21:17,652
I didn't know it was that deep.
445
00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:21,531
You probably don't need
to tell her that. Okay?
446
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:23,533
Okay.
447
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:26,661
And I'll work on
not being so condescending.
448
00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:29,497
You got a deal.
449
00:21:33,835 --> 00:21:37,964
There is no goodie bag that can make up
for what has transpired tonight.
450
00:21:38,048 --> 00:21:41,718
Everyone is going to hear
about this disgraceful event, Nirmala.
451
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:43,553
Put the oxygen mask on her.
452
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:47,015
I would never let anyone
get injured at my Golu,
453
00:21:47,098 --> 00:21:49,267
because I know how to host properly!
454
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:51,394
-I am so sorry about this, Pati.
455
00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:54,939
This is exactly why
I have my reservations about Manish.
456
00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,524
He made a mistake.
457
00:21:56,608 --> 00:21:59,527
And wasn't it a bit thrilling
to see Smita Auntie take a little tumble?
458
00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:04,783
All it did was prove that this man
has no respect for how things are done.
459
00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:08,203
And memorizing a Wikipedia page
doesn't change that.
460
00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:11,331
But he makes me really happy.
Doesn't that count for anything?
461
00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:13,416
Of course, I want you to be happy,
462
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:16,002
but he is not a serious man.
463
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:17,879
You don't want to be with someone
464
00:22:17,962 --> 00:22:20,340
who's constantly making messes
for you to clean up.
465
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:23,718
That's not who he is.
He was trying really hard tonight.
466
00:22:23,802 --> 00:22:25,053
And look what happened.
467
00:22:25,136 --> 00:22:26,596
He crashed my party,
468
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:29,808
ruined my Bloomie's bag,
and sent my frenemy to the hospital.
469
00:22:29,891 --> 00:22:32,268
I'm really sorry, kanna.
470
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:34,479
I cannot support this relationship,
471
00:22:35,188 --> 00:22:37,941
and I would prefer
that you do not bring him over again.
472
00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:40,026
I understand, Pati,
473
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:42,112
but I'm an adult.
474
00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:46,324
And I don't want to end things with him.
So perhaps the best way forward
475
00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:48,410
is for me to move out.
476
00:22:57,335 --> 00:22:59,587
Well, this is my house.
477
00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:05,135
Thanks again for tonight.
I had a really good time.
478
00:23:05,218 --> 00:23:06,052
I did too.
479
00:23:06,928 --> 00:23:08,346
It was kind of a rocky start…
480
00:23:09,681 --> 00:23:11,015
…but then it was good.
481
00:23:15,812 --> 00:23:17,021
Uh…
482
00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:19,816
I should probably go inside.
483
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:21,151
Okay.
484
00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:22,068
Yeah. Um…
485
00:23:22,652 --> 00:23:23,778
Well, um…
486
00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:26,239
Can I text you sometime?
487
00:23:28,867 --> 00:23:30,243
Yeah. For sure.
488
00:23:46,050 --> 00:23:47,385
Oh, hi.
489
00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:49,762
You missed quite the evening here.
490
00:23:49,846 --> 00:23:52,056
Mmm, I saw. The neighbors
are gonna be creeped out
491
00:23:52,140 --> 00:23:54,267
by all the broken doll bits
in the recycling bin.
492
00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:55,185
Oh yeah.
493
00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:58,563
So Rhyah texted saying Nirdesh
had a good time tonight.
494
00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,398
Really? He did?
495
00:24:01,024 --> 00:24:02,859
Uh-- What exactly did she say?
496
00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:06,821
Just that you cheered him up,
so thank you for that, kanna.
497
00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:09,365
However, you're still grounded
for the rest of the weekend,
498
00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:13,536
and I will be asking your uncle to install
security cameras outside your window.
499
00:24:14,037 --> 00:24:15,205
Nothing gets past me.
500
00:24:15,830 --> 00:24:16,664
Good night.