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‎NETFLIX 影集

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‎她是迪薇威舍庫瑪

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‎住在聖弗南多谷地的16歲女生

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‎現在成了派克斯頓的前女友

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‎還記得嗎？

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‎對不起

7
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‎迪薇第二次跟夢中情人分手

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‎對，我們那天都有點失落

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‎你自然可以想像她無法接受事實

10
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‎所以馬上進入分手的所有痛苦階段

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‎先是暴怒

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‎傷痛無法自拔

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‎在經歷幾個月慘不忍睹的漫長折磨後

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‎她總算釋懷了

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‎另外這場戲本來要呈現時光流逝

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‎可是南加州根本沒有季節變化

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‎看吧，門口有幾顆小南瓜

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‎反正現在她又變回
‎平常那個宅到家的印度處女

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‎也總算能接受分手事實了

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‎現在看到派克斯頓
‎也能展露微笑，而非淚流滿面

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‎結果她聽到這個消息

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‎派克斯頓交了新女友

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‎對，這就很難接受了

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‎劇名：……讓人吃醋

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‎妳有什麼感覺？

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‎要吸一下氣喘藥嗎？

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‎不用，沒關係

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‎我知道遲早會這樣，心裡也準備好了

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‎-是誰？
‎-菲比海華

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‎打手槍海華？本校最好上的公車？

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‎他怎麼墮落成這樣？

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‎抱歉，我真是太不女性主義了

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‎她的流言一定都是遭到父權主義深化

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‎有意思的是女人暴怒時

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‎一定要考慮別人受到的壓迫

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‎還好我是男人

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‎妳還好吧？

38
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‎對，我還好

39
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‎我知道他先走出來很糟糕

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‎但妳並沒有輸

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‎妳看阿妮莎

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‎她跟小班分手後一直單身

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‎沒錯吧？

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‎妳應該比我們懂，妳們現在感情超好

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‎對啊，我們現在感情超好的

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‎迪薇，今晚回家請順便買幾包衛生紙

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‎別買便宜的，我的客人要最軟的那種

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‎這下可好，派克斯頓搞上體操隊隊長

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‎我則是負責讓老人能把屁股擦乾淨

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‎沒事，我奶奶今晚要慶祝九夜節

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‎九夜節是什麼？

52
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‎九夜節是印度教持續九天的節日

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‎紀念魔王摩醯濕和女神難近母的戰爭

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‎對吧，迪薇？

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‎對，差不多就是這樣

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‎她根本不知道九夜節是什麼

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‎去的全都是老人

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‎要不是怕毒品，真希望那時能哈一管

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‎等一下，川特和派克斯頓過來了

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‎我說：“奶奶，別吃牙刷了

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‎又不是熱狗”

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‎因為他們的好朋友

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‎使得迪薇和派克斯頓

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‎偶爾被迫經歷這種尷尬時刻

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‎嗨，寶貝，還有寶貝的朋友

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‎你們可能聽說今天是我的18歲生日

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‎早上升旗升到一半你就廣播宣布了

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‎好耳力，瘋女迪薇

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‎反正我要讓你，派克斯頓，我的死黨

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‎還有妳，艾莉諾，我的女朋友

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‎今晚幫我慶生

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‎好啊

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‎雖然臨時了一點，不過我們沒問題

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‎我們當然可以

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‎天啊，你們太慷慨了

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‎就來我家辦吧

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‎我爸媽會去賭場把輸掉的車贏回來

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‎好，你們要什麼主題？

79
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‎我想辦《純真年代》的化妝舞會

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‎我要辦場超猛的狂歡派對，要有人吐

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‎要打破學校紀錄，大家全都來

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‎艾莉諾，帶朋友來

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‎朋友，帶妳的機器人

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‎派克斯頓，帶新女友來，還有前女友

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‎川特，我今晚其實不能去

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‎今天是個重要的印度節日，非得慶祝

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‎好可惜喔，不過說真的
‎我們的交情也不算太深

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‎所以我不改日期，好嗎？

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‎好

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‎（雪曼橡樹高中）

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‎我知道妳為什麼不幫川特慶生

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‎你也聽過九夜節？

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‎難道《印度媒婆》節目有介紹嗎？

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‎迪薇，少來，我知道妳不是很虔誠

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‎妳不幫川特慶生是因為菲比吧？

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‎不是，真的有這個節日，是紀念…

97
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‎等一下，我問法碧歐拉

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‎不用，沒關係

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‎我只是要說，我知道我們很久沒講話

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‎但如果菲比的事傷了妳
‎我真的覺得很抱歉

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‎傷了我？

102
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‎沒有，我沒事啦，兄弟

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‎我也有跟人講話，很多男生，所以…

104
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‎好，我以為我們可以老實說開來的

105
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‎不過也許現在還太早了

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‎我有老實啊

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‎真的有這個節日

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‎我是快樂、健康的印度人

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‎妳們應該看他可憐我的表情

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‎他真的以為我在說謊

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‎妳說跟很多男生講話的確有說謊

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‎我沒有，我今天跟十個男生講話

113
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‎妳是指妳罵打擊樂器的男生掉拍嗎？

114
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‎那又怎樣，法碧歐拉？

115
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‎好，妳今晚一定要去幫川特慶生

116
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‎不然人家會覺得妳傷心又可憐

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‎說不定快執迷不悟的地步

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‎我沒有，我真的沒事

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‎我知道，所以妳非去不可

120
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‎但我要怎麼逃過九夜節？

121
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‎迪薇…妳怎麼還沒換衣服？

122
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‎去準備好，還有把奶油拿給妳奶奶

123
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‎她的手鐲又卡在手腕上了

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‎再見

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‎奶奶，妳的“戈閭”超猛的

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‎妳看，有象神、難近母、拉克什米

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‎每個主神都到了

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‎沒錯

129
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‎可是妳還放了超炫擺飾

130
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‎像這個小水晶海豚

131
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‎或自製的印度名醫桑賈古塔

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‎-帥哥
‎-哇

133
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‎妳絕對能打敗其他阿姨的戈閭

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‎這不是比賽，迪薇

135
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‎最好是，擺出戈閭唯一的理由

136
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‎就是秀給其他老太太看

137
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‎-對不對，奶奶？
‎-沒錯，我要好好秀出來

138
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‎所以我才擺了這個壓軸大作

139
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‎（棕色小紙袋）

140
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‎-那是什麼？
‎-高檔百貨的紙袋

141
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‎還不是暢貨中心的

142
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‎裡面還有我買資生堂香水的收據

143
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‎那個八婆絲蜜妲看到後一定會昏倒

144
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‎婆婆，妳討厭絲蜜妲，為何還邀她？

145
00:06:28,973 --> 00:06:30,099
‎因為她是我朋友啊

146
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‎雖然我知道她會拼命講她孫女

147
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‎在環球影城結婚

148
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‎真希望我也有能跟她炫耀的事

149
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‎妳可以跟她說我男朋友是個好老師

150
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‎而且我很喜歡他

151
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‎不要

152
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‎妳怎麼不跟我介紹的其他男士交往？

153
00:06:47,116 --> 00:06:49,952
‎我再說一次，因為我在跟馬尼許交往

154
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:51,537
‎妳只要給他一次機會…

155
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:52,830
‎我給他很多次機會

156
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,916
‎突然拿印度歷史考他並不算機會

157
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,377
‎如果他能答對就算

158
00:06:58,461 --> 00:07:01,255
‎妳必須找到關心祖國文化的人

159
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:04,967
‎那個馬尼許搞不好
‎以為戈閭是會唱歌的驢子

160
00:07:05,551 --> 00:07:07,803
‎靠，奶奶，妳講話超狠的

161
00:07:08,762 --> 00:07:09,805
‎抱歉，卡梅拉

162
00:07:09,889 --> 00:07:12,266
‎桑賈古塔要放哪兒？

163
00:07:12,349 --> 00:07:15,144
‎如果放中間，這戈閭就會太誘人了

164
00:07:23,444 --> 00:07:25,696
‎多虧我搭訕優步熟女女駕駛

165
00:07:25,779 --> 00:07:27,406
‎現在有三桶酒了

166
00:07:27,490 --> 00:07:28,908
‎今天晚上應該都能搞定

167
00:07:28,991 --> 00:07:30,910
‎把我抬起來，好

168
00:07:30,993 --> 00:07:33,120
‎現在小男生要變成男人了

169
00:07:33,204 --> 00:07:34,163
‎餵我

170
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:36,290
‎川特好像很快樂

171
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‎對啊

172
00:07:37,708 --> 00:07:39,627
‎妳能問問迪薇今晚怎麼樣嗎？

173
00:07:39,710 --> 00:07:41,712
‎我今天跟她講話時，她好像不高興

174
00:07:41,795 --> 00:07:43,547
‎我們一陣子沒聯絡了

175
00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:45,299
‎我想確定她沒事

176
00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:47,218
‎她一定沒事的

177
00:07:47,301 --> 00:07:49,512
‎我覺得她不在乎你的女…

178
00:07:49,595 --> 00:07:51,639
‎哇，妳好美喔

179
00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,266
‎靠，她穿得真的好露

180
00:07:58,812 --> 00:08:01,815
‎要用力擠，杯子斜一點
‎不然會只有泡沫

181
00:08:01,899 --> 00:08:03,400
‎天啊，妳到底跑過趴沒有？

182
00:08:04,068 --> 00:08:07,112
‎沒有，我請病假很長一段時間

183
00:08:07,738 --> 00:08:09,615
‎喔，對不起

184
00:08:11,784 --> 00:08:13,577
‎天啊，你有什麼毛病？

185
00:08:13,661 --> 00:08:16,121
‎怎麼連喝個啤酒都能瞧不起人？

186
00:08:16,205 --> 00:08:19,333
‎我沒瞧不起人
‎只是看到笨手笨腳的人會生氣

187
00:08:19,416 --> 00:08:20,960
‎小班，你的問題

188
00:08:21,043 --> 00:08:23,379
‎就在於你以為自己最聰明

189
00:08:23,462 --> 00:08:26,173
‎但是你錯了，所以阿妮莎才甩了你

190
00:08:26,257 --> 00:08:28,759
‎隨便啦，但我的確比大部分人聰明

191
00:08:28,842 --> 00:08:29,969
‎你沒比我聰明

192
00:08:30,052 --> 00:08:33,597
‎妳是很懂機器人科學這種阿宅的事

193
00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,724
‎但我在每堂課都很強

194
00:08:35,808 --> 00:08:38,060
‎你真的有夠自以為是耶

195
00:08:38,143 --> 00:08:40,813
‎我保證我隨便一科都能打敗你，選吧

196
00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:42,815
‎好，歷史怎麼樣？

197
00:08:42,898 --> 00:08:44,108
‎太好了

198
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:47,611
‎川特，你還有高一的
‎《美國歷史》課本嗎？

199
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:50,489
‎有，應該拿去墊樓上的大麻生長燈了

200
00:08:51,782 --> 00:08:54,076
‎好，那就比歷史，而且我告訴你

201
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,328
‎為了讓比賽更好玩，就比喝酒

202
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,247
‎答錯的人喝一杯

203
00:08:58,330 --> 00:09:00,583
‎第一個喊停的人算輸

204
00:09:00,666 --> 00:09:02,710
‎沒問題，我絕對不會喊停的

205
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:05,296
‎我來自歷史悠久的高素質酒鬼家族

206
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,632
‎我來自歷史悠久的全部答對家族

207
00:09:10,009 --> 00:09:11,635
‎另外我為你的家人深感同情

208
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:18,809
‎交換誓詞儀式結束後
‎我們去《變形金剛》站

209
00:09:18,892 --> 00:09:21,520
‎由柯博文祝福新人

210
00:09:21,604 --> 00:09:23,689
‎太炫了

211
00:09:23,772 --> 00:09:26,191
‎妳絕對不會相信

212
00:09:27,151 --> 00:09:29,111
‎菲比竟然穿這樣

213
00:09:29,194 --> 00:09:32,197
‎我會，我們大概會去迪士尼樂園辦

214
00:09:32,281 --> 00:09:34,199
‎邀請大概兩千個人

215
00:09:34,283 --> 00:09:37,036
‎但我不知道怎麼把客人刪到兩千個

216
00:09:37,119 --> 00:09:38,287
‎真的？

217
00:09:38,370 --> 00:09:40,372
‎可是誰要結婚啊？

218
00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:42,958
‎聽說她跟那個英俊工程師

219
00:09:43,042 --> 00:09:45,044
‎發展得不太順利

220
00:09:45,127 --> 00:09:47,379
‎真是可惜啊

221
00:09:47,463 --> 00:09:50,132
‎真正可惜的是妳拉皮這麼快就鬆了

222
00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:52,676
‎好了

223
00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,511
‎我們聊別的事情吧

224
00:09:54,595 --> 00:09:57,181
‎萊雅做了這盤桑豆，很好吃吧？

225
00:09:57,264 --> 00:09:59,892
‎萊雅，麻煩妳說明這盤菜的所有成分

226
00:09:59,975 --> 00:10:03,354
‎沒問題，我買在地有機種植的鷹嘴豆

227
00:10:03,437 --> 00:10:04,521
‎這一點很重要…

228
00:10:04,605 --> 00:10:07,316
‎-在地種植的…
‎-抱歉，我非接這通電話不可

229
00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:08,942
‎-拜託別接
‎-很抱歉，我知道

230
00:10:09,026 --> 00:10:10,152
‎喂，兒子

231
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:12,321
‎慢著，可以講電話嗎？馬上回來

232
00:10:12,988 --> 00:10:16,325
‎看來我得學電影開演前的卡通熱狗

233
00:10:16,408 --> 00:10:18,744
‎請大家手機關靜音

234
00:10:20,537 --> 00:10:21,747
‎-喂
‎-有什麼消息？

235
00:10:21,830 --> 00:10:23,457
‎-能出來嗎？
‎-我不知道怎麼脫身

236
00:10:23,540 --> 00:10:25,292
‎每個出口都有阿姨駐守

237
00:10:27,670 --> 00:10:29,380
‎比大賣場的保全還嚴

238
00:10:29,463 --> 00:10:31,298
‎派克斯頓剛剛要我關心妳

239
00:10:31,382 --> 00:10:34,760
‎他可能以為妳被鎖在房間裡面發神經

240
00:10:34,843 --> 00:10:35,886
‎跟《后翼棄兵》一樣

241
00:10:36,845 --> 00:10:39,390
‎可惡，真希望能轉移大家注意力

242
00:10:41,725 --> 00:10:43,936
‎-大家好
‎-我靠，庫老師？

243
00:10:44,019 --> 00:10:45,979
‎妳還是一樣有禮貌，迪薇

244
00:10:46,063 --> 00:10:48,857
‎小艾，我找到出口了

245
00:10:48,941 --> 00:10:50,192
‎嗨，馬尼許，歡迎

246
00:10:50,275 --> 00:10:51,527
‎他怎麼來了？

247
00:10:51,610 --> 00:10:55,531
‎我覺得馬尼許可以過來
‎跟我們一起融入印度文化

248
00:10:55,614 --> 00:10:56,949
‎你們也可以多瞭解對方

249
00:10:57,032 --> 00:10:58,617
‎阿姨好

250
00:11:00,119 --> 00:11:01,537
‎好，可以了，維基腳

251
00:11:01,620 --> 00:11:03,330
‎好，對不起，我也覺得很怪

252
00:11:03,414 --> 00:11:05,290
‎這位是誰啊？

253
00:11:05,374 --> 00:11:07,793
‎他只是教迪薇的庫爾卡尼老師

254
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:11,797
‎順道過來嘉許迪薇是個好學生

255
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:13,507
‎他也是我的男朋友

256
00:11:13,590 --> 00:11:16,760
‎喔，請過來坐

257
00:11:16,844 --> 00:11:19,346
‎讓我們多瞭解你，來吧

258
00:11:19,430 --> 00:11:21,849
‎媽，看來樓下挺熱鬧的

259
00:11:21,932 --> 00:11:25,269
‎我去房間一下，我的頭有點痛

260
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,229
‎什麼？好，去吧

261
00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:38,907
‎妳不是執迷不悟的沒用前女友

262
00:11:39,783 --> 00:11:40,617
‎對

263
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,335
‎妳幹嘛？

264
00:11:52,546 --> 00:11:56,175
‎事情真的很怪
‎我的隱形眼鏡掉出來滾到屋頂

265
00:11:56,258 --> 00:11:59,178
‎-所以…
‎-給我進來，快點

266
00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,054
‎好

267
00:12:01,680 --> 00:12:04,057
‎罰妳坐著看這些阿姨吃東西

268
00:12:04,141 --> 00:12:06,351
‎-好啦
‎-現在把炸豆餅分下去，快

269
00:12:10,731 --> 00:12:14,359
‎妮瑪拉阿姨，妳的戈閭
‎實在美得令人目不轉睛

270
00:12:14,443 --> 00:12:18,155
‎拿來敬拜女神和祂的九個化身

271
00:12:18,238 --> 00:12:19,406
‎實在太美了

272
00:12:19,490 --> 00:12:22,743
‎我去年的戈閭有七層

273
00:12:22,826 --> 00:12:24,286
‎比妮瑪拉的多兩層

274
00:12:24,369 --> 00:12:27,122
‎但是妳的擺設稀稀落落

275
00:12:27,206 --> 00:12:30,083
‎我認為五層代表適當的克制自己

276
00:12:30,167 --> 00:12:32,628
‎避免這個節日淪為消費主義

277
00:12:33,295 --> 00:12:35,672
‎謝謝，馬尼許，你說得很好

278
00:12:35,756 --> 00:12:37,216
‎自己拿個炸豆餅吧

279
00:12:38,342 --> 00:12:39,510
‎我可以吃兩個

280
00:12:39,593 --> 00:12:41,470
‎-一個就好…
‎-好

281
00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:45,265
‎萊雅，我到處找妳

282
00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,309
‎對不起，我有點心事

283
00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:48,811
‎糟糕

284
00:12:49,728 --> 00:12:51,563
‎妳還好吧？怎麼回事？

285
00:12:52,439 --> 00:12:54,358
‎我剛剛跟我兒子講電話

286
00:12:54,441 --> 00:12:57,778
‎他剛結束高中海上實習計畫的行程

287
00:12:57,861 --> 00:13:00,030
‎他想當海洋生物學家

288
00:13:00,113 --> 00:13:02,908
‎他還真的去研究了海蛞蝓群體

289
00:13:02,991 --> 00:13:05,118
‎但他回來後，朋友都不跟他好了

290
00:13:05,202 --> 00:13:07,037
‎有一個甚至叫他阿呆庫斯托

291
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,790
‎現在他一個人在家，我好難過

292
00:13:09,873 --> 00:13:12,751
‎娜莉妮最能感受到

293
00:13:12,835 --> 00:13:16,088
‎小孩愛念書卻遭人排擠的痛苦

294
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:19,508
‎我懂，很多人幫我女兒取各種綽號

295
00:13:19,591 --> 00:13:23,136
‎真希望我能幫他交些新朋友
‎而不是這些可惡的小…

296
00:13:23,220 --> 00:13:25,055
‎王八蛋，抱歉罵人了

297
00:13:27,683 --> 00:13:29,059
‎可是我知道我不行

298
00:13:31,270 --> 00:13:32,437
‎去找妳的朋友，還…

299
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:36,233
‎等等，現在妳要我
‎去參加川特的慶生會？

300
00:13:36,733 --> 00:13:37,693
‎妳中風了嗎？

301
00:13:37,776 --> 00:13:40,153
‎沒有，我每天早上喝茶配阿斯匹靈

302
00:13:40,237 --> 00:13:41,446
‎好，那是怎麼了？

303
00:13:41,530 --> 00:13:45,117
‎我要妳去參加慶生會
‎而且要帶萊雅的兒子去

304
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:46,952
‎什麼？萊雅的兒子是誰？

305
00:13:47,035 --> 00:13:49,830
‎沒朋友而且研究海蛞蝓的乖孩子

306
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:50,998
‎名字叫迺大森

307
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:53,625
‎迺大森？開什麼玩笑？

308
00:13:53,709 --> 00:13:55,502
‎聽起來就像在惡搞印度宅男

309
00:13:55,586 --> 00:13:56,962
‎我寧願不去

310
00:13:57,045 --> 00:13:59,423
‎什麼？妳剛剛還很想去慶生會的

311
00:13:59,506 --> 00:14:01,800
‎整個人都爬上屋頂了

312
00:14:02,426 --> 00:14:05,971
‎我不想嚇妳，但大家聽到我跟妳講話

313
00:14:06,054 --> 00:14:08,640
‎現在他們真的覺得妳要瘋了

314
00:14:08,724 --> 00:14:10,142
‎所以快點來好嗎？

315
00:14:11,435 --> 00:14:14,730
‎好啦，我會帶迺大森一起去慶生會

316
00:14:14,813 --> 00:14:17,733
‎很好，而且不准讓那邊的人欺負他

317
00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:19,776
‎他已經被欺負得很慘了

318
00:14:24,364 --> 00:14:25,574
‎嗨，我來了

319
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:29,286
‎嗨，天啊，我不知道
‎派克斯頓和菲比去哪裡

320
00:14:29,369 --> 00:14:31,914
‎可是妳這樣超美的

321
00:14:31,997 --> 00:14:34,708
‎他們看到後，絕對不會
‎覺得妳執迷不悟又憂鬱

322
00:14:34,791 --> 00:14:36,877
‎而會覺得妳妖嬌又迷離

323
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,754
‎妳應該要說美麗吧

324
00:14:38,837 --> 00:14:40,714
‎對，可是這樣講不好玩

325
00:14:40,797 --> 00:14:44,509
‎是啦，不過今晚有個小小的問題

326
00:14:44,593 --> 00:14:46,637
‎我媽逼我帶她朋友的廢物兒子

327
00:14:46,720 --> 00:14:47,804
‎不然不准過來

328
00:14:47,888 --> 00:14:49,014
‎他要跟我會合

329
00:14:49,097 --> 00:14:50,557
‎喔，是他

330
00:14:50,641 --> 00:14:52,434
‎“嗨，我是迺大森

331
00:14:52,517 --> 00:14:53,644
‎我會遲到

332
00:14:53,727 --> 00:14:56,438
‎我把番茄湯打翻到背心上，得換衣服

333
00:14:56,521 --> 00:14:57,773
‎應該馬上就到了”

334
00:14:57,856 --> 00:14:59,358
‎恐怖

335
00:14:59,441 --> 00:15:01,860
‎這小子是醫療級的呆子

336
00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:03,612
‎也許可以說他是我表哥

337
00:15:03,695 --> 00:15:05,530
‎啊，小班

338
00:15:05,614 --> 00:15:06,782
‎抱歉，我們需要妳

339
00:15:06,865 --> 00:15:09,660
‎如果我問妳誰有打小大角之役

340
00:15:09,743 --> 00:15:12,371
‎結果妳說卡士達將軍，這樣也算吧？

341
00:15:12,454 --> 00:15:15,624
‎卡士達是一種甜點，卡斯特是將軍

342
00:15:15,707 --> 00:15:17,250
‎隨便啦，我已經喝四杯

343
00:15:17,334 --> 00:15:18,585
‎有什麼大不了？

344
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:19,711
‎喝吧，娘兒們

345
00:15:20,379 --> 00:15:21,713
‎妳明明知道我的意思

346
00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:23,215
‎你們在幹嘛？

347
00:15:23,298 --> 00:15:24,925
‎玩一種喝酒遊戲

348
00:15:25,008 --> 00:15:28,637
‎叫做“你比小班聰明嗎？”

349
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:30,764
‎超好笑

350
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:33,141
‎天啊，超冷的

351
00:15:34,184 --> 00:15:37,312
‎要不然我把表哥丟給這兩個人

352
00:15:37,396 --> 00:15:38,897
‎自己讓派克斯頓瞧瞧呢？

353
00:15:39,481 --> 00:15:40,565
‎-妳表哥要來？
‎-沒錯

354
00:15:40,649 --> 00:15:43,485
‎你們看到印度阿呆走進來的話跟我說

355
00:15:43,568 --> 00:15:46,238
‎我看到一個印度男的剛剛進門

356
00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:49,157
‎可是他看起來一點都不像阿呆

357
00:15:58,166 --> 00:16:00,002
‎喔，靠

358
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,798
‎我不想說得太早，但是我覺得很順利

359
00:16:04,881 --> 00:16:06,800
‎妳外婆甚至看了我一眼

360
00:16:06,883 --> 00:16:08,468
‎我太過興奮就撇頭了

361
00:16:08,552 --> 00:16:09,886
‎我也覺得很棒

362
00:16:09,970 --> 00:16:11,847
‎你在做什麼？

363
00:16:12,389 --> 00:16:14,683
‎天啊，馬尼許，你把紙袋拿下來？

364
00:16:14,766 --> 00:16:16,601
‎我以為是別人丟的垃圾

365
00:16:16,685 --> 00:16:18,270
‎因為裡面還有收據

366
00:16:18,353 --> 00:16:20,397
‎就因為有收據才很特別

367
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,691
‎這個高檔百貨的紙袋代表美國夢

368
00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:24,943
‎你竟然在裡面裝用過的面紙

369
00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,486
‎天啊，我真的很抱歉

370
00:16:26,570 --> 00:16:28,655
‎-有什麼八卦嗎？
‎-沒有！

371
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:32,784
‎-天啊
‎-天啊！我扶妳起來

372
00:16:32,868 --> 00:16:35,078
‎不用，馬尼許，我覺得你該走了

373
00:16:35,162 --> 00:16:37,539
‎-妳還好吧？
‎-誰撞我的？

374
00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,082
‎會痛嗎？

375
00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:44,963
‎嗨，迪薇？我叫迺大森
‎但我朋友都叫我大森

376
00:16:45,047 --> 00:16:45,881
‎嗨

377
00:16:45,964 --> 00:16:47,883
‎妳表哥幹嘛跟妳自我介紹？

378
00:16:48,550 --> 00:16:50,135
‎什麼？我不是她表哥

379
00:16:50,218 --> 00:16:51,553
‎妳跟他們說我是妳表哥？

380
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:54,264
‎我可能有這麼說，對

381
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,059
‎那是因為她以為你是個超級廢物

382
00:16:57,142 --> 00:16:58,477
‎結果完全不是

383
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:02,064
‎妳為什麼以為我會是個超級廢物？

384
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:06,526
‎因為某些文化脈絡的線索…

385
00:17:06,610 --> 00:17:07,569
‎因為我是印度人？

386
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,530
‎好，我先走了

387
00:17:10,614 --> 00:17:12,532
‎等一下，大森，真對不起

388
00:17:12,616 --> 00:17:15,494
‎我不是故意要冒犯你的，可是說真的

389
00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:17,412
‎很多印度男生都很宅

390
00:17:17,496 --> 00:17:21,708
‎不知道你曉不曉得
‎可是你的名字聽起來像“奶大生”…

391
00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:25,337
‎哇，妳是第一個跟我講這件事的人

392
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,464
‎沒有一個小學同學跟我說過

393
00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:30,759
‎沒關係，我碰過幾千個跟妳一樣的人

394
00:17:30,842 --> 00:17:32,928
‎妳是只愛白人男生的印度女生

395
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:35,680
‎覺得所有印度男生都是電腦宅男

396
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:37,599
‎或噴太多香水的低級夜店咖

397
00:17:37,682 --> 00:17:39,309
‎不對，我不是那種人

398
00:17:39,392 --> 00:17:41,019
‎她明明就是

399
00:17:41,103 --> 00:17:43,355
‎好，大森，我真的很抱歉

400
00:17:43,438 --> 00:17:45,482
‎我沒什麼意思

401
00:17:45,565 --> 00:17:48,068
‎請你留下來，我們去喝點酒…

402
00:17:53,949 --> 00:17:54,783
‎對不起

403
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,753
‎喂，妳還好吧？怎麼回事？

404
00:18:07,337 --> 00:18:10,215
‎妳剛才還在為了種族歧視向我道歉

405
00:18:10,298 --> 00:18:11,591
‎現在卻哭成這樣

406
00:18:11,675 --> 00:18:14,761
‎是啊，對不起，那是我的前男友

407
00:18:16,888 --> 00:18:18,849
‎好，我懂了

408
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:20,767
‎對啊

409
00:18:21,935 --> 00:18:26,148
‎我以為我看到他跟新女友也不會怎樣

410
00:18:26,773 --> 00:18:29,192
‎我一直在我的房間拿玩偶練習

411
00:18:29,860 --> 00:18:31,236
‎看來沒用

412
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:34,072
‎這樣吧，反正也來不及了

413
00:18:34,156 --> 00:18:35,782
‎妳已經看到前男友跟別人

414
00:18:36,366 --> 00:18:37,576
‎現在也沒死

415
00:18:38,577 --> 00:18:40,078
‎最慘的也就如此了

416
00:18:40,954 --> 00:18:42,289
‎對啊，大概吧

417
00:18:43,415 --> 00:18:45,542
‎你這種人怎麼會沒朋友？

418
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:47,544
‎什麼？我朋友超多的

419
00:18:47,627 --> 00:18:50,005
‎我媽叫我今晚帶你來

420
00:18:50,088 --> 00:18:52,132
‎因為你朋友都不理你

421
00:18:52,215 --> 00:18:54,342
‎這也是我以為你會很呆的原因

422
00:18:54,926 --> 00:18:57,929
‎喔，我媽講話很愛誇張

423
00:18:58,013 --> 00:19:00,223
‎現在只有一個朋友不跟我講話

424
00:19:00,932 --> 00:19:02,934
‎因為我跟他喜歡的女生在一起

425
00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:06,104
‎劇情大逆轉，原來你不呆

426
00:19:06,188 --> 00:19:07,939
‎你只是個壞人？

427
00:19:08,023 --> 00:19:10,609
‎沒有，我並不知道他喜歡那個女生

428
00:19:10,692 --> 00:19:13,737
‎而且他應該先說
‎因為我跟那女生在船上三個月

429
00:19:13,820 --> 00:19:16,907
‎大家都知道海上實習就像聯誼大會

430
00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:21,828
‎靠，這小子把海蛞蝓學校
‎講成充滿魅力的地方

431
00:19:22,454 --> 00:19:26,374
‎好，所以你不是阿呆，也不是混蛋

432
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:29,586
‎那你是心地善良的酷哥囉？

433
00:19:30,420 --> 00:19:32,589
‎對啊，也許我能幫妳

434
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,675
‎要是我們進去讓妳的前男友嫉妒呢？

435
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:38,678
‎好像很好玩吧？

436
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,280
‎好，我們應該在他的視線裡了

437
00:20:06,456 --> 00:20:07,958
‎好耶，迪薇

438
00:20:08,041 --> 00:20:10,961
‎派克斯頓正看著妳，而且很嫉妒

439
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:12,629
‎有用了

440
00:20:13,129 --> 00:20:14,381
‎迪薇，妳為什麼不看？

441
00:20:16,091 --> 00:20:18,927
‎慢著，我知道怎麼回事了

442
00:20:29,437 --> 00:20:30,272
‎你還好吧？

443
00:20:31,314 --> 00:20:33,108
‎讚耶，有人吐了

444
00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:36,444
‎謝謝寶貝，沒想到
‎我的生日願望全都實現了

445
00:20:38,905 --> 00:20:42,033
‎抱歉，我在快問快答回合逼你拼命喝

446
00:20:42,117 --> 00:20:45,620
‎我知道你一定會輸在美國重建時期
‎我跟機器人看過公視紀錄片

447
00:20:45,704 --> 00:20:47,163
‎沒關係，我活該

448
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:49,332
‎我知道我有時很爛

449
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:50,750
‎也懂妳為什麼討厭我

450
00:20:50,834 --> 00:20:52,127
‎我沒有討厭你

451
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:54,087
‎只是不喜歡你以前對待我朋友的方式

452
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:56,631
‎你對阿妮莎真的很爛

453
00:20:57,257 --> 00:20:59,301
‎對，這我沒辦法反駁

454
00:20:59,384 --> 00:21:02,345
‎而且你這幾年對迪薇也很差

455
00:21:02,429 --> 00:21:03,888
‎不公平，她對我也很差

456
00:21:03,972 --> 00:21:06,474
‎但你說我們是“操不得的宅女”太狠了

457
00:21:06,558 --> 00:21:07,767
‎誰叫她傷透我的心？

458
00:21:09,352 --> 00:21:10,353
‎她傷透你的心？

459
00:21:12,731 --> 00:21:14,024
‎對啊，算吧

460
00:21:16,067 --> 00:21:17,652
‎我不知道你傷得那麼重

461
00:21:18,570 --> 00:21:21,531
‎妳用不著告訴她，好嗎？

462
00:21:22,699 --> 00:21:23,533
‎好啦

463
00:21:24,242 --> 00:21:26,661
‎還有我會努力不要那麼瞧不起人

464
00:21:28,663 --> 00:21:29,497
‎一言為定

465
00:21:33,918 --> 00:21:37,964
‎無論送什麼禮物
‎都無法彌補今晚的慘劇

466
00:21:38,048 --> 00:21:41,718
‎我要告訴大家這件丟臉的事，妮瑪拉

467
00:21:42,302 --> 00:21:43,553
‎幫她戴氧氣面罩

468
00:21:43,636 --> 00:21:47,015
‎要我就不會讓任何人在我的戈閭受傷

469
00:21:47,098 --> 00:21:49,267
‎因為我知道怎麼讓賓主盡歡

470
00:21:49,351 --> 00:21:51,394
‎我真的很抱歉，奶奶

471
00:21:51,478 --> 00:21:54,939
‎這就是我為什麼不接受馬尼許

472
00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:56,107
‎他只是犯了錯

473
00:21:56,608 --> 00:21:59,527
‎看到絲蜜妲阿姨跌倒不是很開心嗎？

474
00:21:59,611 --> 00:22:04,783
‎這只證明了這個男人完全不尊重習俗

475
00:22:04,866 --> 00:22:08,203
‎熟背維基百科的網頁也改變不了事實

476
00:22:08,286 --> 00:22:11,331
‎可是他讓我很快樂，難道這不重要？

477
00:22:11,414 --> 00:22:13,416
‎我當然希望妳能快樂

478
00:22:13,958 --> 00:22:16,419
‎但他不夠認真

479
00:22:16,503 --> 00:22:20,340
‎妳不能跟老是要妳
‎收拾殘局的人在一起

480
00:22:20,423 --> 00:22:23,718
‎他不是這種人，他今晚真的很努力

481
00:22:23,802 --> 00:22:25,053
‎結果變成什麼樣子？

482
00:22:25,136 --> 00:22:26,596
‎他破壞我的場子

483
00:22:26,679 --> 00:22:29,808
‎毀了我的高檔百貨紙袋
‎讓我的敵人兼朋友去醫院

484
00:22:29,891 --> 00:22:31,851
‎我真的很對不起，孩子

485
00:22:32,352 --> 00:22:34,479
‎但我不贊成妳跟他交往

486
00:22:35,230 --> 00:22:37,941
‎希望妳以後別再帶他過來

487
00:22:39,150 --> 00:22:40,026
‎我懂了，奶奶

488
00:22:41,027 --> 00:22:42,112
‎不過我是成人了

489
00:22:43,196 --> 00:22:46,324
‎我不想跟他分手，也許最好的做法

490
00:22:47,242 --> 00:22:48,410
‎就是我搬出去

491
00:22:57,335 --> 00:22:59,587
‎好了，我家到了

492
00:23:01,965 --> 00:23:05,135
‎今晚再次謝謝你，我玩得很愉快

493
00:23:05,218 --> 00:23:06,052
‎我也是

494
00:23:06,928 --> 00:23:08,346
‎雖然一開始不太順利

495
00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:11,015
‎但是結局不錯

496
00:23:17,105 --> 00:23:19,816
‎我大概該進去了

497
00:23:19,899 --> 00:23:20,733
‎好

498
00:23:21,234 --> 00:23:22,068
‎對啊

499
00:23:24,612 --> 00:23:26,239
‎我偶爾可以傳訊給妳嗎？

500
00:23:28,867 --> 00:23:30,243
‎好啊，沒問題

501
00:23:47,469 --> 00:23:49,762
‎妳今晚錯過精彩戲碼

502
00:23:49,846 --> 00:23:50,763
‎我看到了

503
00:23:50,847 --> 00:23:54,267
‎鄰居看到回收桶裡的碎娃娃一定嚇死

504
00:23:54,350 --> 00:23:55,185
‎對啊

505
00:23:55,685 --> 00:23:58,563
‎萊雅傳訊息說迺大森今晚很高興

506
00:23:58,646 --> 00:24:00,482
‎真的？他有這麼說？

507
00:24:01,733 --> 00:24:02,859
‎她到底說什麼？

508
00:24:03,651 --> 00:24:06,821
‎只說妳讓他心情變好
‎所以謝謝妳，孩子

509
00:24:06,905 --> 00:24:09,365
‎不過妳這個週末還是要禁足

510
00:24:09,449 --> 00:24:13,536
‎我也會請妳叔叔在妳窗外加裝監視器

511
00:24:14,037 --> 00:24:15,205
‎別想逃過我的法眼

512
00:24:15,830 --> 00:24:16,664
‎晚安

513
00:24:21,503 --> 00:24:23,713
‎（我要跟派克斯頓上床！）

514
00:24:30,512 --> 00:24:33,890
‎（我喜歡大森！）

515
00:25:27,735 --> 00:25:28,945
‎字幕翻譯：溫鳳祺