-[phone dinging] -[sighs]
Oh, God.
Oh, no.
[groans]
[sighs]
Oh, no.
Oh, God.
So, Mom,
when I was born, how big was my skull?
Mae, is this going to be quite a long conversation?
We're about to throw Solomon's ashes into the ocean.
What?
Solomon is dead and you didn't even tell me?
He was my cat!
You never made an effort with Solomon.
And you know what? I think he knew that.
Did you even know when his birthday was?
Wait, what ocean? Where are you?
We're in Blackpool.
You're in Blackpool? In the UK?
Yes, scattering Solomon's ashes. Talk to your father.
[Malcolm] Do you know, he never explicitly said this,
but I do really believe that Solomon had an affinity
with the United Kingdom once.
And you're not gonna believe this, but I was having a cup of tea
and he just reached out his paw and he sort of dipped it in.
I can't believe you're in the UK and you didn't even tell me.
Well, you know what?
As it turns out, we don't have to report our every single movement to you, Mae.
We're adults.
Okay, I'm coming there. I'm coming to Blackpool,
so wait to do the ashes, okay? Please!
Like, I get it.
When I was a teenager, I behaved incredibly badly.
But so did they, you know?
Like, my mom once accused me of stealing her ornamental pears
and I never even fucking touched those fucking pears.
And they kicked me out! Onto the street!
I was just a kid.
Maybe this would be a good time to engage in step nine.
What's step nine? Do I have to shave my head or something?
[chuckles]
Step nine is when we make direct amends to those we have harmed while using.
We use an official 12-step script to properly apologize...
You know, Mae,
I suppose, technically, I think last night, Lava and I did step nine
because I apologized for every single fuck-up.
But then what did Lava say when you apologized?
Well, she cried and she hugged me and then something remarkable happened.
She apologized to me for shutting me out!
[snaps] Sick. Yes!
Yes, but it's not about getting something. It's more--
When I made amends to my sister...
Karen, can I just check. Is this story true?
-No. -Okay, go ahead.
So, when I made amends to my sister...
You're George.
Yes, I am. Yeah.
Sorry, have we met?
No, I know Mae. She told me about you.
You're exactly how I pictured you.
Right.
-Sorry, what does that mean? -Hi, Mum.
Sweetheart!
-Sorry. -Oh, my God.
Is this for me?
You made this?
I love my mum, so I made her a cake.
-It's very beautiful. -Oh, this is George.
No!
I've heard everything about you!
You look like a little springer spaniel.
I'm so proud of you for setting yourself free!
You are a titan, darling.
-I'll text you later. -Okay.
Let's go, Mum.
-Bye. -Bye.
You got out of bed!
Who's that robot girl and why is she texting you?
That's Lava, that's Maggie's daughter.
-I think she has a crush on me. -Oh, really?
Yeah, listen, I'm gonna go to Blackpool right now.
-Blackpool? -Yeah.
I thought we could make a pie, like a cranberry pie.
-Okay, get this. My parents are here. -What?
My parents are in the UK and they didn't even fucking tell me.
So I'm gonna go to Blackpool and I'm gonna apologize for being a drug addict.
Wha-- But, what, Mae? Wait. Mae, wait.
Excuse me!
Hi. Hello.
I'm George, if you remember, and I just made out with you
in front of all of my friends and then I woke up alone.
So if you think that I'm letting you out of my sight for one second,
you're sorely mistaken.
Now, please, will you hug me?
Oh, wow.
-You're freaking out. -Yes.
And there's pus coming out of your hand bandage.
Okay, let's go to Blackpool.
Okay, yes.
Can you hold me?
Are you okay?
I'm nervous.
I ironed this jumper, you know.
I just really want them to like me.
Like you? Mae, they love you.
You talk all the time and you get on so well.
That's because of the UA.
The Unspoken Agreement to never speak about the years of my life
between the ages of 14 and 25.
We've honestly never spoken about those missing 11 years of my life.
Oh, I hope they like me.
They're gonna love you. They love all my girlfriends.
Look, the only real rule is
do not disagree with my mother about anything.
-Okay? -Yeah, okay.
-Anything. -Okay, yeah. Oh, got it.
You know what, let's go. Let's just go back!
Look, Mae, it's gonna be so great. Okay? I love you!
Oh, shit. There she is.
-Oh, my God, she is-- -Petrifying.
I was gonna say iconic.
Hi, Mom.
You made it.
[Mae] Hi.
The Convergence of the Twain.
"Alien they seemed to be
No mortal eye could see
The intimate welding of their history."
-Okay. -Yeah.
Did you write that?
-What? -It's a Thomas Hardy poem.
Yes.
-Ah! Oh, my God, Georgina! -Yeah.
Your eyebrows...
-Sorry? -Where's Dad?
Oh. He's gone to get me a Scotch egg.
Can you believe no one offered me a single Scotch egg
the entire flight over here?
Hello, monkey! Oh!
Oh! Could we really be meeting the famous George
in the flesh at last?
-Yeah, what happened to you? -Sorry.
I-- I fell through a table.
-Oh, well done. -Oh, yeah.
Okay, girls, we have to go.
Come on.
We're on a very tight schedule.
We have to drop your bags at the Airbnb,
lunch at 1:00, the ashes ceremony at 3:00--
And some cockles.
Yes, Malcolm, we heard you.
Your father wants cockles,
and I want to be asleep by 7:30.
So, what part of England are you from, George?
-Well, Oxford originally. -Oh! My old stomping ground.
Is there still a pub called The Bear & Ragged Staff
near the Botley Roundabout?
Yeah, I actually threw up in the loos there once.
Oh, my gosh. How marvelous!
-So did I. -Oh, really?
Here we are, my darling.
I'm gonna do it now.
-What? -I'm gonna do my apology.
-Now? -Right now.
-Really? I-- -Yeah.
[clears throat] Guys, hi.
Um, I'm doing step nine as part of the 12-step program,
and part of it is that, um...
Well, so, I have an apology that I need to say.
Mae, I'm in the middle of my Scotch egg. [chuckles]
As you know, I am an addict.
Oh, Jesus.
[Mae] As part of the process of my recovery from addiction,
I must make amends to those I have wronged.
I have wronged you and I owe you an amends.
Amends accepted.
Let's walk to the restaurant.
George, you walk with me.
Okay.
-[Linda] Will you grab my coat, please? -Yep.
[mouthing]
[stammers] No.
Well, this is just lovely, isn't it?
[both] Mmm.
Excuse me, I'd like to change my order.
I would like to have the braised pheasant.
-We don't have that on the menu, madam. -That's what I would like.
-I will see what we can do. -Thank you.
What a rude man.
Anyway, guys, in my drug support group,
one of the things that they said is that sometimes everybody feels better
if they just address the elephant in the room.
Everyone feels better or you feel better?
Well...
She's always had a very addictive personality.
I don't know where she gets that from.
Well, Mae's comedy is going so well.
She's so good.
Yeah, well, Malcolm and I are both very comedic.
Yes.
I get my good qualities from my parents and my bad ones are a mystery.
-[chuckles] -George, we love you.
-[Malcolm] Yes! -Oh.
Now, don't you go kicking her to the curb. Not like you did with Amy.
-Mmm. -Or... Nicole.
-Or Caroline. -Yes, or Caroline!
Oh, God, Caroline.
-[Linda] You remember? -Yeah, I do.
You see, the minute we start to get attached,
you know, they're gone, like smoke in the wind.
Yeah. [laughs]
I'd like to make a toast.
[clears throat] To finally being together for the first time in two years
and finally talking about the past--
I have a toast.
To Solomon, the reason we're all here.
The jewel of our hearts.
A toast to George.
It's been such a joy getting to know you for the last 35 minutes.
Um, George, do you have a toast?
To the sea.
As Neruda said,
"I need the sea because it teaches me."
See, now I'd like to make another toast.
-To George's toast. -[George] Oh.
[laughs]
Oh! Well, thank you.
♪ Till we have built ♪
♪ Jerusalem ♪
♪ In England's green and pleasant ♪
♪ Land ♪
Before I scatter the ashes, would anyone like to say a few words
-about Solomon? -[Mae] I would.
Solomon. [clears throat]
You were such a special guy,
and I'm so thankful that we're all here together
celebrating your life.
As you know, Solomon,
I was unable to spend a great deal of time with you
because there were many... many years
when I was cruelly cut off from the family and--
[Linda] Thank you, Mae.
And now, let's take a ten-minute silence
so we can all think about Solomon and all the joy he brought into our lives.
Excuse me, ten minutes?
[mouthing]
[whispers] This is fucking bullshit.
Okay, that's ten minutes. Thank you.
I'm gonna do the ashes now.
[gasps]
I thought they would be taken by the wind.
-Mae... -[sighs]
You maybe need to take it easy.
They're not ready to talk about stuff yet and it's actually kind of awkward for me--
Yeah, well, if you love somebody, you put the work in even if it's awkward.
What, like what you did with Caroline and Amy and Nicole and--
-Who are you texting? -Lava.
I wanna go on the Ghost Train. Let's go.
Mom, we're going on the Ghost Train.
-[George] Wait! -[Mae] I'm sitting with you.
Welcome to the Horror Hotel.
I'm the Bellboy, but I've been dead for years.
Please keep your hands and arms inside the vehicle at all times.
[carnival music playing]
Buckle up!
Oh, I'm buckled.
-[dramatic organ music playing] -[Dad laughing]
This is so hilarious.
[camera clicking]
Oh, my God. I haven't been on one of these since I was about six...
I would like to have a discussion with you.
And I would like to enjoy the ride.
Oh, my God.
-[loud howl] -[riders screaming and laughing]
But why did you kick me out?
We didn't kick you out, we asked you to leave.
There's a difference.
-Oh, really-- -[loud howl]
Oh, my God!
Okay, but after that, all of those years, where were you?
I'm not discussing this.
Okay, fine.
[spooky voices laughing]
Fine, if you wanna talk about it...
-Yes. -...where should we start?
Oh, how about the part where we gave you every little thing your heart desired
and you threw it away to chase some high?
Yeah, well, people don't just become addicts.
They're running from something,
so what was I finding so intolerable?
Oh, no, I'm not gonna let you do that. You are not a victim, Mae.
-You are a spoiled... -[loud howl]
-[Mae screams] -...privileged little girl.
Take some responsibility for the choices you've made.
You were a drug dealer, a criminal.
You stole money from us,
you threatened us, you overdosed,
you stole my ornamental pears--
I never fucking touched those fucking pears.
Mae, you have always done exactly what you want,
so don't blame me if what you want doesn't make you happy.
-[man grunts] -Oh, fuck! Oh, my God! I'm getting off.
Are you on drugs?
-[sinister laughter] -[high-pitched ringing]
Well, you were so scared, you idiot. Honestly.
Where's... Where's Mae?
You know, George, you don't really know her.
I... I think I do.
Mae...Mae loves you, Linda.
Mae doesn't love people.
Mae loves the idea of love itself.
Doesn't matter who you are, George.
You're just a mirror she's holding up to herself,
do you understand?
Please exit the train carriage.
My daughter is loose in your Horror Hotel.
You're just one of many Georges.
That's not fair.
[chuckles]
Well, there is a certain type, you could say.
-What type? -[Linda] Heterosexual.
She likes the chase, and then when that wears off,
there's another in the wings.
Maybe there already is one.
Tell me this, have you come out yet?
Well, I just told my friends.
Right. I give it a month.
[man] This is completely illegal behavior.
[Mae] All right, okay. I'm leaving.
-Mom? -Oh, I'm going around again.
I need to chill out.
Uh, yeah, I think I'm gonna just go for a walk, too.
[dramatic organ music playing]
[sighs]
[ballad playing faintly]
What can I get you?
Hi, can I get a double gin and tonic, please?
So do you, like, hang around here often? Of course you do, sorry, you work here,
and obviously if you're gonna work here, you're gonna talk to me.
-You don't sit behind the bar for free. -You can relax, it's a friendly place.
No, I know. Yeah.
No, I mean, you don't need to worry about me. I...
I belong here. Yeah, I have a girlfriend.
And I finger her loads... actually.
You have a very stressful energy.
Here.
Wow, thank you.
Sorry, can I ask you something?
Mm-hmm.
Is it normal--
Not normal. Usual, common,
for gay girls to, like, go for straight girls
and then just, like, break up with them?
It happens, but I think the only reason you'd chase people who aren't attracted
to your entire gender is because you hate yourself.
It's masochistic. Why do you ask?
No reason.
Where has Mom gone now?
Um, she's cooling off in the arcade.
[sighs]
So similar, you two.
Me and George?
What? No! You and your mother.
We could not be more different.
You are very strong,
impulsive,
stubborn women.
There are hurdles! Do you see those?
-Yeah. -[tires screeching]
In helping you, I crashed.
You wear your hearts on your sleeves.
You're fiercely passionate.
She doesn't even like me.
When you left home, your mother followed you every day.
Like a little detective, she parked outside that ghastly hovel
you were living in, watched you selling drugs in the park.
She knew your every move.
She was...
She was so angry.
Then you guys kicked me out.
Yeah, well, we didn't know what else to do.
It's not easy, you know...
being a parent.
All right,
I should go and find your mother.
She'd like someone to cheer her on when she plays Need for Speed.
[laughs]
And I rather think your wonderful young lady
might be needing you, too.
Oh, George is fine.
Mmm.
Well, she told us she'd recently come out to her friends
and now she's off on her own, adrift in uncharted seas.
You should go and find her.
[alternative ballad playing]
♪ Left out ♪
♪ An ocean on top ♪
♪ Blue tie ♪
♪ And orange won't let go ♪
♪ Let me be ♪
I don't want to go back to the Airbnb. They won't even wanna see me anyway.
Okay. Look, let's break into one of these beach huts.
We could sleep here like fishermen.
That's insane and so dangerous.
Maybe I can be dangerous.
Maybe I'm not as straight as you think I am.
What?
Oh, right. That was actually open already.
That was easy.
Do you ever even think about the others anymore?
Like, your exes?
Honestly, not really.
But you were in love with them?
Um, yeah, I was actually.
-Yeah. -Yeah, so how is this different?
Um...
You have much bigger ti-- You have a massive rack.
-Mae. -You do. It's huge!
Fuck, I feel weird. I feel like-- Do you think I'm ill?
I feel like there's eels up my bum.
I mean, I think maybe you're feeling vulnerable.
Seriously? What, is that what this is?
Like, I feel like I'm shaky and sweaty and I feel like if you're not holding me,
then I'm just gonna float away.
[laughs] Yeah.
Fuck, I should not have told Binky.
-What? -Well, now you're just--
Mae, you're just gonna lose interest because it's just too easy.
What did my parents say to you?
I'm gonna be left watching The L Word and googling "Am I gay?"
while you just barnacle yourself to the next straight girl you meet.
Oh, my God. Actually, I think I have to go. I'm sorry, I have to go.
Where? Where are you gonna go? The sea?
Mae, I'm... I'm not joking.
Okay? How is this different from the other times?
[stammers]
Okay. All right, okay.
-I'm... I'm gonna really try. -Please.
So, I guess,
like, my whole life,
I've felt like I'm not in the right place.
Like, even when I was a kid, I just felt like there was
some other place that I was supposed to be.
I was, like, always running behind this "other place."
And I've been with good people,
really good people, like, people who love me.
And I lie next to them and I just feel,
like, so restless,
and then when I lie next to you,
I feel like
still and quiet,
like, deep inside.
I think you're that place I've been running behind.
That was really good.
I know.
[laughs]
Can you look me in the eye and promise me that you'll never break up with me?
I will never break up with you.
[George sighs]
And, ideally,
you would never break up with me.
[George] Hmm.
George?
Okay, cool.
That's fine.
[seagulls cawing]
I think I have to give them an ultimatum.
Like, they apologize, they engage with me or I'm done.
Mae, you couldn't force me to tell my friends about you,
I had to do it myself.
Yes, on morphine,
by accident.
So, like, what do I do?
I just don't mention anything I'm upset about?
If you want a different result, you should try a different approach.
You're so smart.
I know, it's crazy.
Thank God!
We were so worried!
Where have you been?
We got a hotel.
Oh, how romantic. How wonderful!
-[Mae] Mom? -Hmm?
I wanted to say something.
I read a really interesting article about black holes.
Um, they found a new one. It's, like, 12 billion light years away,
so I'll e-mail you the article.
Oh, sweetheart.
Thank you.
Isn't it amazing
to think interstellar travel will be a possibility in our lifetime?
Mmm.
I've decided to have myself cryogenically frozen.
-Malcolm. -Hmm?
-Cockles. -Oh, you didn't.
[giggles]
-Oh, you darling girl. -Oh.
-Call us next week. -[Mae] Okay.
-Okay? We love you. -I will.
Love you, too.
Monkey.
Bye. Love you.
Bye. Bye, Linda. Bye, Malcolm.
-[George] Bye. -Goodbye.
Oh, I got you a sausage roll for the train.
Now, I actually thought George was very rude. Didn't you?
We should figure out which train we're gonna get back.
Or we could not.
What do you mean?
Well, we could stay another night.
♪ There is freedom within ♪
♪ There is freedom without ♪
♪ Try to catch the deluge in a paper cup ♪
♪ There's a battle ahead ♪
♪ Many battles are lost ♪
♪ But you'll never see the end of the road While you're traveling with me ♪
♪ Hey now, hey now ♪
♪ Don't dream it's over ♪
♪ Hey now, hey now ♪
♪ When the world comes in ♪
♪ They come, they come ♪
♪ To build a wall between us ♪
♪ We know they won't win ♪