1 00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,838 You know the human vagina can lift over 200 pounds? 2 00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,425 No, uh... no, it is 20 pounds. 3 00:00:08,509 --> 00:00:11,845 I don't know, I-I saw, like, a YouTube thing about it. 4 00:00:11,929 --> 00:00:15,057 Oh. I think I got too high to do this. 5 00:00:15,140 --> 00:00:16,433 - Don't say that. Are you joking? 6 00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:17,684 - N... Okay. - That's so irresponsible. 7 00:00:17,768 --> 00:00:19,186 - It's fine. I can do it. I can do it. 8 00:00:19,269 --> 00:00:20,979 I can do it. I just, like, got freaked out, 9 00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:23,065 'cause I felt like I was gonna perform, like, a real surgery, 10 00:00:23,148 --> 00:00:25,359 so I thought I would just get, like, a little toasted 11 00:00:25,442 --> 00:00:27,236 and it would give me confidence and I would just do it, 12 00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:28,946 and I figured, you know, we're gonna write after this anyway. 13 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,532 - Well, yeah, we're not gonna write, like, right after this. 14 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,242 - We're not? 15 00:00:33,325 --> 00:00:35,536 - Yeah, we're writing a show about female friendship, right? 16 00:00:35,619 --> 00:00:37,538 - Yeah. - Yeah, so don't you think 17 00:00:37,621 --> 00:00:39,039 we should, like, actually become friends first? 18 00:00:39,122 --> 00:00:41,416 - What do you call this? 19 00:00:41,500 --> 00:00:43,919 - Okay, yes, you installing my new vagina would be, like, 20 00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,379 an amazing beginning to an episode, 21 00:00:45,462 --> 00:00:47,256 but all I'm saying is, so far, all we've done is, like, 22 00:00:47,339 --> 00:00:49,508 sit in your apartment and talk about Dan. 23 00:00:49,591 --> 00:00:52,219 I just feel like it's kind of a no-brainer that, like, we should 24 00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,179 go on some adventures together before we start writing. 25 00:00:54,263 --> 00:00:57,182 - Come on, man. Can't we just... - So I was thinking, after this, 26 00:00:57,266 --> 00:00:59,434 we pack our bags, we hit the road for a few days 27 00:00:59,518 --> 00:01:01,854 and camp under the stars, we have some laughs. 28 00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:03,605 - I don't know, like... what, today? 29 00:01:03,689 --> 00:01:05,357 - Why not? 30 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:07,234 - I'm busy. I've got stuff to do. 31 00:01:07,317 --> 00:01:10,028 - Ugh. You have Dan's podcast, Dan's weekly podcast 32 00:01:10,112 --> 00:01:12,114 you go to every week. - Come on, man, just... 33 00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,991 - I'm just saying I'm sorry, I feel like you would have 34 00:01:14,074 --> 00:01:15,868 a lot more power in your relationship if you actually 35 00:01:15,951 --> 00:01:17,995 had your own things going on every once in a while. 36 00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,913 - Barbara, I understand that you represent a part of me 37 00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:23,041 that feels the need to question my very happy relationship with Dan, 38 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,751 but that doesn't mean that you're right. 39 00:01:24,835 --> 00:01:26,545 I don't need to play games 40 00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:29,089 and, like, you know, make myself unavailable 41 00:01:29,173 --> 00:01:31,216 to, like, prove myself to him. - Mm. 42 00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:33,385 - We're past that. We poop with the door open sometimes. 43 00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,095 - Yeah, right there, right there. 44 00:01:35,179 --> 00:01:36,388 - Like, we tell each other everything. - Mm-hmm. 45 00:01:36,471 --> 00:01:37,890 - Except for the fact that I, like, 46 00:01:37,973 --> 00:01:39,641 formed this unhealthy codependent relationship 47 00:01:39,725 --> 00:01:41,268 with his former sex doll. 48 00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:42,769 - Mm-hmm. - I'm, like, currently giving her 49 00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:44,021 a vaginal rejuvenation, 50 00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:45,856 'cause she can talk me into anything and... 51 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,941 Goddamn it! Is this thing in yet? 52 00:01:48,025 --> 00:01:49,401 - Yeah. It is. 53 00:01:50,444 --> 00:01:51,528 - What? 54 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:53,030 - It has been for a while. 55 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:54,364 - Like, you can feel this? 56 00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:56,074 - Oh, yeah. 57 00:01:56,158 --> 00:01:57,242 - Oh, you are such an asshole! 58 00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,703 - Oh, Codes, a girls' trip, you and me. 59 00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,205 Oh! It'll be so fun. 60 00:02:01,288 --> 00:02:03,957 We'll show Dan what an independent codependent woman you are. 61 00:02:04,041 --> 00:02:06,043 We'll let go of the things that no longer serve us. 62 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,004 Wait! I want to hold on to that. 63 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,925 ♪ 64 00:02:13,008 --> 00:02:14,927 [Barbara squeals] 65 00:02:15,010 --> 00:02:16,845 Road trip...! 66 00:02:16,929 --> 00:02:19,389 - I can't believe I let you talk me into this. 67 00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:21,475 That looks ridiculous, by the way. - What? 68 00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:23,602 - The dirty vagina you made me tie around your neck. 69 00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,687 Fuckin' Ed Gein-lookin' motherfucker. 70 00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,356 - Whatever. It's so cute. You're just jelly. 71 00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,441 - Nah. You look insane. - As insane as the patriarchy 72 00:02:29,525 --> 00:02:31,026 upon which I'm, like, commenting? 73 00:02:31,109 --> 00:02:32,569 No, I didn't think so. 74 00:02:32,653 --> 00:02:35,572 [sighs] Codes, ever since I got this new vagina, 75 00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,991 I honestly, like, I feel like a new woman. 76 00:02:38,075 --> 00:02:40,035 Like, my own woman. 77 00:02:40,118 --> 00:02:42,120 - That's great, Barbara. - You should try it sometime. 78 00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:44,414 - What, removing my vagina and getting a new one? 79 00:02:44,498 --> 00:02:46,250 - [mock laughing] No. 80 00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,252 Not letting every single moment of your life be consumed 81 00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,045 by your boyfriend. - What? It's not. 82 00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:51,547 - Then why do you keep looking at your phone? 83 00:02:51,630 --> 00:02:53,590 - No, that... I just... I wanted to make sure 84 00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,300 he got my text earlier, like, 85 00:02:55,384 --> 00:02:56,969 'cause he dot-dot-dotted, but then the bubble disappeared, 86 00:02:57,052 --> 00:02:58,428 and I just felt like... - [mock gagging] 87 00:02:58,512 --> 00:03:00,389 Cody! Do you fucking hear yourself? 88 00:03:00,472 --> 00:03:02,558 All you ever do is talk about Dan. 89 00:03:02,641 --> 00:03:04,810 Dan, Dan, Dan this, Dan that, I'm obsessed with Dan, 90 00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:06,979 I love Dan's dick, even when it smells like curry. 91 00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,856 - I don't feel like I've said that before. 92 00:03:08,939 --> 00:03:10,440 - How are we gonna write a feminist masterpiece 93 00:03:10,524 --> 00:03:12,234 if we can't even pass the Bechdel test? 94 00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:16,280 Oh, shit. You do know what the Bechdel test is, right? 95 00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:19,241 - Yeah, Barbara, yes, I know what the Bechdel test is. 96 00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:21,118 We know the same amount of stuff. 97 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,745 We're the same person. Stop trying to act like you're smarter than me. 98 00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:27,583 Created by cartoonist Alison Bechdel, it asks whether... 99 00:03:27,666 --> 00:03:29,459 Sorry. I have pee anxiety. 100 00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:30,961 Can you, like...? 101 00:03:31,044 --> 00:03:33,463 - [hisses softly] 102 00:03:33,547 --> 00:03:36,383 - It asks whether a movie or, like, a work of fiction, 103 00:03:36,466 --> 00:03:39,052 um, has at least two female characters, 104 00:03:39,136 --> 00:03:41,805 and then the two characters have to talk about something 105 00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:43,223 other than a man. 106 00:03:43,307 --> 00:03:44,975 - But aren't there, like, three things? 107 00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,894 - Yeah. There's, like, more to it than that. 108 00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:50,355 I think, um, one of the things is, like... 109 00:03:50,439 --> 00:03:52,983 um, do they both have names? - Yeah. We have names. 110 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,068 - Yeah. I mean, mine's kind of a boy's name. I don't... 111 00:03:55,152 --> 00:03:57,237 - Yeah, I don't think that matters. - Okay. It doesn't matter. Um... 112 00:03:57,321 --> 00:03:59,364 So, then... What's the third thing? 113 00:03:59,448 --> 00:04:02,075 - Isn't it just, like, that there are two women? 114 00:04:02,159 --> 00:04:04,453 - Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so one... - Yeah. 115 00:04:04,536 --> 00:04:05,871 - Are there two women? - Yeah. 116 00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,247 - Which, you know, there are. 117 00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:09,333 And then two, do they both have names? 118 00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:10,876 - They have names. - And three, do they talk 119 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:12,211 about something other than a man? - Yeah. 120 00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:15,005 - Okay. So all we have to do to pass this is just not talk about men. 121 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:16,507 - Oh, my God, we're gonna be so good at this. 122 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:18,091 - Okay, so, Bechdel test? 123 00:04:18,175 --> 00:04:20,093 - Yes! - Starting... 124 00:04:20,177 --> 00:04:21,678 now! [laughs] - Now! 125 00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:23,972 Oh, my God, we're gonna be the best feminist-y feminists 126 00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:25,265 that were ever feminists! 127 00:04:25,349 --> 00:04:27,518 ♪ Let me go on ♪ 128 00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:30,145 ♪ Like I blister in the sun ♪ 129 00:04:30,229 --> 00:04:33,148 ♪ Let me go on... ♪ 130 00:04:33,232 --> 00:04:35,192 [Barbara sighs] 131 00:04:35,275 --> 00:04:37,194 Really pretty out here, huh? 132 00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,363 - Yeah. I love it. 133 00:04:39,446 --> 00:04:41,406 Growing up, my dad used to take... 134 00:04:41,490 --> 00:04:43,325 - Ooh! - What? 135 00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:44,910 - Oh, just like, your dad. 136 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:46,286 He's a man, right? 137 00:04:46,370 --> 00:04:48,413 - Oh. Oh, right. Shit! 138 00:04:48,497 --> 00:04:50,415 Okay. Yeah, okay, start over, start over? 139 00:04:50,499 --> 00:04:52,042 - Yeah. Okay, ready? - Okay, okay, ready? 140 00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,460 - Bechdel test starting... -Starting... 141 00:04:53,544 --> 00:04:54,920 -now. [chuckles] -now. Okay. 142 00:04:55,003 --> 00:04:57,005 ♪ I know you're the one... ♪ 143 00:04:57,089 --> 00:04:59,383 - Ugh. Look at that. 144 00:04:59,466 --> 00:05:02,219 The fact that 53% of white women 145 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:05,848 hated themselves enough to vote for that bloated orangutan... 146 00:05:05,931 --> 00:05:07,641 - Ooh. - What? 147 00:05:07,724 --> 00:05:09,142 - Well... - [gasps] 148 00:05:09,226 --> 00:05:11,603 Oh, my God, you fucking voted for Trump. 149 00:05:11,687 --> 00:05:13,105 Oh, that makes so much sense. 150 00:05:13,188 --> 00:05:14,815 - What? No. No! Oh, my God. 151 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:18,360 No, I'm saying, Trump is a man, Bechdel. 152 00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:20,153 - Oh, shit! [laughs] - Right? 153 00:05:20,237 --> 00:05:23,031 - Oh, my God, this is so much harder than I thought. 154 00:05:23,115 --> 00:05:24,032 - I know! Jesus! 155 00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,409 - Ooh. - What? 156 00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:27,369 - Well, Jesus, like, that's kind of a guy, right? 157 00:05:27,452 --> 00:05:29,288 - Oh, come on. Come on. 158 00:05:29,371 --> 00:05:31,206 - #BechdelFail on you right now, bitch. 159 00:05:31,290 --> 00:05:33,208 - No. Okay, okay, okay, come on, come on, come on. 160 00:05:33,292 --> 00:05:34,960 - Okay. - Ready? And... 161 00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:36,128 Bechdel! - Bechdel! 162 00:05:36,211 --> 00:05:37,504 [Cody chuckles] 163 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:42,843 - What's your, um... - You know... 164 00:05:42,926 --> 00:05:44,928 - No. Uh, no, no, no, sorry, you go ahead. 165 00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,263 - You absolutely can go. 166 00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,307 - I didn't have anything. 167 00:05:48,390 --> 00:05:50,100 - Me, neither. - Fuck! 168 00:05:50,184 --> 00:05:52,644 Why is it so hard to talk about something that isn't a dude? 169 00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:55,189 - I don't know! I hate this! [laughs] 170 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:58,567 BARBARA: We shouldn't be forcing it, you know? 171 00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,736 - Yeah. Like, I feel like if we stop 172 00:06:00,819 --> 00:06:03,030 thinking about it, it'll just, like, come to us. 173 00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:05,282 - We should just, like, think about something else. 174 00:06:05,365 --> 00:06:07,117 - Yeah, we can talk about... 175 00:06:07,201 --> 00:06:09,244 anything else. - Yeah, like, anything. 176 00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:11,538 -Yeah. I mean, we can talk about this beer 177 00:06:11,622 --> 00:06:13,332 and, like, the... - Uh-huh. 178 00:06:13,415 --> 00:06:14,875 - ...store, how gross it is. 179 00:06:14,958 --> 00:06:16,502 [grunting]: We can talk about... 180 00:06:16,585 --> 00:06:19,171 that woman over there. - Yes, we could totally talk 181 00:06:19,254 --> 00:06:21,465 about the crack whore. - Oh, my God, you're so bad. 182 00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:23,175 - Do you know what I'm thinking? - What? 183 00:06:23,258 --> 00:06:25,385 - I feel like her discharge would be, like, booger-y. 184 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:26,678 - My God, you're so gross. 185 00:06:26,762 --> 00:06:27,971 I know what you're talking about. 186 00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,765 Like, when it's, like, you could use it 187 00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:32,184 - as an adhesive for arts and crafts. Gross. - Yes! 188 00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:34,853 It's, like, go bedazzle some shit. - Oh, my God, shut up. 189 00:06:34,937 --> 00:06:36,730 - [snorting laugh] 190 00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,315 [Barbara sighs] 191 00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,150 - I don't know, does that seem weird? 192 00:06:40,234 --> 00:06:42,653 - What? - I don't know, just, like... 193 00:06:42,736 --> 00:06:45,072 you know, that we could be, like, talking shit 194 00:06:45,155 --> 00:06:47,366 about another woman and still pass the Bechdel test? 195 00:06:47,449 --> 00:06:48,742 - Yeah, I do know what you mean. 196 00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,369 - And, like, also, are you saying that, like, 197 00:06:50,452 --> 00:06:51,787 we could have one conversation? 198 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,247 Like, we could talk about dudes all day, 199 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,831 and we have one conversation about, like, 200 00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:56,333 "How many calories are in these plantain chips?" 201 00:06:56,416 --> 00:06:58,335 and we'd still pass? - Yeah, we're thinking about it 202 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:00,128 like we can't talk about dudes, but really, we just have to 203 00:07:00,212 --> 00:07:02,339 talk shit about a lady first, and then we can go back 204 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:04,341 to talking about dudes, right? - I mean, like, we did it. 205 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:05,968 - We totally passed! - All right! 206 00:07:06,051 --> 00:07:07,594 - Okay, amazing. So we could talk about guys again. 207 00:07:07,678 --> 00:07:10,138 That is so good, because I've been wanting to tell you, 208 00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:11,306 there's this guy... 209 00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:13,350 MAN: Open the fucking register now! 210 00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:15,352 Now! Come on, I want everything, you hear me? 211 00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:17,855 I want everything! Everybody get your hands up. - Barbara, get down!