Previously on "Holey Moley"...
Oh, that's good. You and the Muppets forging ahead.
Rob found saving the show... Fantastic.
Let's hear from somebody else.
"Bear" with me while I try and find it.
...was not going to be easy. 'Cause I'm a bear?
I got it. Yeah.
I need you to do whatever it takes.
Sí. What it takes.
Good. Because working with Muppets...
Pepe! What on earth did you do?!
Ransom! Now we get all the monies!
...can be quite the handful.
Yeah, that's a screensaver.
♪♪
Tessitore: Holey Moley mini golfers...
Ow!
♪♪
...their own special breed of athlete.
♪♪
Where most would cower in fear, they run to the roar.
♪♪
Where most would pump the brakes...
they go full steam ahead.
♪♪
And where most athletes would choose the easier path...
♪♪
...they take the one less traveled.
♪♪
Nice words, Joe.
Very beautiful. Very, very beautiful.
Listen, I'm sorry I'm emotional right now.
It's just...
I've been opening up to my therapist lately... Oh.
...and he, uh -- he thinks that
you and I aren't connecting.
Well -- He suggests that we do some team-building exercises.
No, we -- So here's what I propose.
I will run up to you,
and you lift me up "Dirty Dancing" style.
♪♪
Aah!
Tessitore: Tonight...
[ Chuckles ]
...eight mini golfers,
three rounds, one winner,
and a final putt worth a quarter of a million dollars.
Hi, everybody, I'm Joe Tessitore.
And I'm Baby, and this is...
Both: "Holey Moley." "Fore-ever!"
♪♪
It is a chilly evening at our Holey Moley course
as we settle in for what's sure to be
another incredible night of gameplay.
It could go any player's way, no matter what I say.
Oh, Joe, coming in hot with the rhymes tonight!
I guess I did rhyme. Yeah, you did.
I didn't intend to do that, but...
You know, actually, I've been, uh, taking
some creative-writing classes down at the junior college.
Oh, really? Some creative writing?
Yeah, I mean, it's no big deal. No big whoop.
But I did write a haiku about tonight's show.
The classic five-seven-five syllable? That's the one.
Can I read it? Yeah, please. I'd love to hear it.
Alright.
"Holey Moley wins my heart every night.
Art."
You sure that was five-seven-five?
What are you, uh, grammar police?
Well, haiku is very specific. That's the whole point. You an English teacher?
You can't just, like, throw random words out there... We don't have to grade it, alright? Just enjoy it.
...and say, "Oh, actually, I'm a haiku guy." Enjoy it. You don't have to grade it. Enjoy it.
Tonight, here's how it's gonna go. Enjoy it.
Round 1, eight golfers who are gonna face off.
The winners are gonna compete in that sudden-death Round 2.
That's where only the very best
will survive into the final round,
where you go for The Golden Putter,
the coveted Holey Moley plaid jacket, and most importantly,
a spot in the season finale, where one of our champions
will make a putt worth a quarter million dollars.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Round 1 action getting underway.
Let's head to Polecano, our first matchup.
Presenting video editor Luis Lagera
and nurse Jenna Barkheimer.
Hey, everyone, I'm Jenna Barkheimer.
I'm 29 years old.
I'm from West Palm Beach, Florida,
and I go by the name J-Bark.
So, some of you may have seen me before on the Internet.
Woman: Damn, Jenna!
And then the video went viral.
Damn, Jenna!
So, my grandfather, who was legally blind,
he's the one who taught me how to golf.
He's always told me that you don't have to be able
to see the ball to be able to hit the ball.
If I can go viral with my drive,
I can show all you Holey Moley fans
I can go viral with my putt, too.
Whoo! Damn, Jenna!
Hello, America. I'm Luis Lagera.
I'm 29 years old,
and I'm known as the Garlic Golfer.
No meal is complete unless it's covered with a bunch of garlic.
One of my favorite snacks -- raw garlic.
I'll just pop it in my mouth and give it a little chew.
I play mini golf all the time.
I was just playing mini golf yesterday.
Yeah!
Played 18 holes, and I won.
To all my competitors,
my breath may stink,
but my golf game doesn't.
Garlic Golfer.
Oh, my gosh. Alright.
Luis goes by "the Garlic Golfer."
He loves eating raw garlic. Alright.
And he's still single, ladies.
[ Laughs ]
[ Exhales sharply ]
Oh, he's missed the channel,
but he might have a shot at the tiki slot
with some lucky bounces.
Ooh, oh!
Luis is sand bound. That's okay.
Luis -- bad ball position there on the green.
That means he needs to land on the tiki pole
to give himself any advantage.
But if he ends up in the water, remember, folks,
it's a stroke penalty.
Hey! Yeah!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Here he goes.
Oh, Luis! What do you got?
[ Crowd groans ] [ Laughs ]
Those are the best sounds I've ever heard. The Garlic Golfer.
I liked that.
Let's go real time, sound up.
Aah! [ Crowd groans ]
Oof. Sounded like he was going for a deadlift.
[ Groans ]
Jenna Barkheimer. She goes by the nickname "J-Bark."
Oh, I like that. J-Bark.
Are you hearing an echo?
I heard no echo. J-Bark.
Now it's gone.
There it goes. Gone.
Tee shot from J-Bark.
Can she kick that over to the right?
Oh. Oh. Oh, maybe. Oh, maybe.
Oh, maybe.
Oh, she's got a shot here. She's got a shot.
Oh! Oh!
[ Laughs ] That was amazing!
Tiki time. She does it.
Watch Jenna's tee shot as it comes out of that tiki.
Oh, she's got a shot here. She's got a shot.
Here it is!
Oh! Oh!
She almost had the ace! Oh!
Whoo! Oh, so close.
This thing could've been over right there, Riggle.
Whoo!
Wow. Now, Jenna, she is a nurse,
and she loves real-life blood and guts,
says she has the strongest stomach of anyone she knows.
Do you have a strong stomach? Yeah.
You can handle blood and guts and all that kind of stuff?
Oh, I thought you meant like you're gonna punch it.
Punch me in the stomach, Joe. You want me to punch you in the stomach?
Punch me in the stomach, Joe. Let me see.
Aah! God! I was kidding! I was kidding!
You just said you had a strong stomach.
What do you got, Jenna?
There she goes.
And...
Oh! Oh! She got spun.
That was like being in a centrifuge. Wasn't it?
She just spun around about 100 miles an hour.
Replay of Jenna.
Watch how close she is, Joe.
Oh, just a little more ankle strength
and she had it locked in.
I mean, I know she's in great shape,
but did you ever study physics?
Because physics would tell you that the ankles
would be unable to stop that.
I hear what you're saying, Joe,
but also in the law of physics,
she shouldn't be stuck in midair like she is right now.
That would be called a replay machine and the pause button.
Excellent tee shot
as Jenna Barkheimer approaches her ball.
She will tap in for the three.
If you miss this...
Oh, my gosh, yeah.
Just take me out.
Tessitore: And she does.
J-Bark, the 29-year-old nurse
from West Palm Beach, Florida,
she carves a three after that superb tee shot.
Riggle: She's got the moves like Jagger.
Come on! So, it's gonna be desperation time
for Luis Lagera. Hole in one! Hole in one!
Jenna heavy at the tee shot,
and Luis has to go for broke to stay in this match.
[ Exhales sharply ] Gosh!
Takes a stab at it, a long run,
but way off the mark.
And J-Bark advances to round number 2.
And with that first spot filled,
the question is,
who's gonna be next to join her?
Yeah, I'm -- I'm meant to do a whole description
for Trap Tee-Ze,
but I'm alone now.
Uh, I don't know where I am, but if you can hear this,
please send someone to help me. [ Footsteps approaching ]
I'm being held by a mad man. [ Door opens ]
He's --
And then you have to fly yourself to the green
with the greatest of ease.
Fall into the water, and it's a stroke penalty.
[ Static ]
Round 1 action continues here on Trap Tee-Ze.
Hey, who's up, Joe?
Rob, this should be a real showstopper.
Give it up for veteran nurse Julie Ibach
and freelance journalist Michel'le Jackson.
Hey, y'all. My name is Michel'le Jackson.
I'm a freelance journalist from Aiken, South Carolina.
In 2019, I covered the Masters Tournament.
It was the year that Tiger made his comeback,
and that's how I got the golf bug.
Last three years, I really ramped up my mini golf game.
So, I go with my fiancé.
He's pretty much like my coach. Man: Great shot.
I'm ready, and I'm gonna putt my butt off.
I'm excited.
Hi, I'm Julie Ibach from Bloomfield, Nebraska.
I'm 53 years old,
and I'm ready to jump through
any hoops here at Holey Moley.
I love hula hooping.
It allows me freedom.
It allows me to go into my own little world
within my hula hoop.
I've been playing miniature golf my whole life,
be it on an actual miniature golf course
or on a playground or in a cornfield.
I am ready for anything.
You got this, Jules!
Tessitore: Julie is a nurse,
served in the Navy and the Air Force
for over 10 years.
She currently works in a VA hospital.
She now has to launch this ball up the ramp
to the green on the other side.
[ Exhales sharply ]
Tee shot for Julie Ibach.
That might have enough. Maybe.
That's a nice ride.
It catches...
and it stays.
Hey, she's got a clean look.
Now, I know it's a far putt, Riggle,
but she's got a clean look.
I'd rather have a longer putt with no obstacles.
I assume you concur.
I concur.
Michel'le Jackson.
Can she match her tee shot?
Let's see. It may have a shot here.
Michel'le...
Into the water.
Oh, darn. Just short.
So Michel'le Jackson will be putting from the drop zone.
Julie will be up first. Joe, what do you think?
Give me your best guess. What's gonna happen here?
She will end up very, very wet
in about five seconds.
Here we go. Five...four...
Well, that took all of about two seconds.
Watch the release -- how soon this release takes place, Riggs.
That was a belly flop.
And pretty much face-first belly flop.
Slap! Oh.
Pshooh!
She even kind of skimmed.
Oh.
Michel'le Jackson,
trying to go from one trapeze to the Riggle dummy
and land safely on the other side.
Aah! Oh.
Oh, gotta hold on. You know, it might help
if they lifted their knees up, perhaps.
I think. Because it is a tremendous pull.
It's your entire body weight being snapped... Right.
...and it's -- you know, if you don't have a good grip
or you don't have a really strong amount of strength... Yeah.
...you're gonna just pop right off that thing.
Not many people get to grab on to...
The dummy Riggle. We call it Mr. Sharp.
The producers and the director refer to him
as the Riggle dummy or dummy Riggle.
Why do they m-- Why? You know, you're the funny guy,
and they want to get a rise out of you.
Funny guys, huh?
Well, then, if that's the case,
there is a comedy embargo.
I no longer do anything funny on the show.
You're gonna be -- So you're gonna play this straight now?
There's an embargo on funny. Can he do that?
We'll be back with the conclusion
of Trap Tee-Ze after this.
♪♪
Tessitore: Welcome back to "Holey Moley Fore-ever!"
And while you were away, Michel'le Jackson
tried to play it safe to get out of the drop zone...
Riggle: Just because you can do something
doesn't mean you should.
I could perform surgery. Doesn't mean I should.
...leaving the path clear for veteran nurse Julie Ibach
to claim victory.
She does! That was awesome! She did it!
Whoo! Yeah!
Julie Ibach will make it into round number 2.
The gauntlet's been dropped.
[ Pen fluttering ]
What're you doing there with your pen?
What is that you're doing there? Oh, just a little...
Like, you know, you do like a hummingbird effect.
90 miles an hour. That's about it.
That's hummingbird quality right there.
Or is it just all the coffee you've had?
Why? What did you hear? You're fine. I think you're fine.
People talking about it? You seem normal to me. Nope.
Nobody's talking about it. Alright. If they do, let me know.
As Round 1 continues here on Hole Number Two,
here come our players.
Wow, they're fired up.
This should be a very good matchup.
Hayla Stewart is from Tucson, Arizona,
taking on Takashi Yanagi from Des Moines, Iowa.
I'm Takashi Yanagi.
I'm originally from Tokyo, Japan.
I became a citizen on 4/20/2012.
I'm so proud to be an American and the freedom that it brings,
and there's nothing more American than mini golf.
As an entrepreneur, I taught myself how to play.
Victory!
Yeah!
When I win this competition,
I'm gonna put all that money into Bitcoin
because cash is trash and Bitcoin is king.
[ Cha-ching! ]
Hi, my name is Hayla Stewart. I am 27 years old.
I love romantic comedies,
and that's why I'm here on "The Bachelor."
This isn't "The Bachelor"?
My friends would describe me as quirky, hilarious, beautiful,
but not humble.
I am a fierce competitor.
My game is smack talk, and if you can't take the heat,
get off the green.
It's going down!
♪♪
These two a revved. Look at these two.
She was doing a little twerk.
She is high energy, isn't she?
Uh-huh. She got the moves. Hayla can't turn it off.
She cannot turn it off.
See if she can for a moment to putt.
So, Hayla has to putt along the narrow path
in front of the porta potties to the green on the other side.
♪♪
That slappy slap.
It's gonna play, though. Watch this.
Watch this, Riggle. This gonna play.
This is gonna play. This is gonna play.
Takashi: Oh. Oh. Oh. Wow.
Wow. Yeah!
She's in decent shape there.
Hayla now has about three seconds to make it past
those porta potty doors before they fly open.
If she gets slammed and ends up in the water,
it's a stroke penalty.
I want you to remember the color of that shirt she's wearing right now.
Someone take a snapshot, 'cause she's so clean and happy right now.
[ Buzzer ] Man: Go, go, go!
And she's off. I don't know, she's got the wheels.
Oh, gosh! She almost made it, Joe!
She actually was faster than I thought. Oh, my goodness.
She was all-in committed.
Rock 'n' roll.
It's the last door that just flipped her.
That was a great wipe. She is aware enough to pinch her nose
before she goes into the wet stuff. Wait, hold on.
She had to -- Watch how aware she is.
Right there, Joe, the pinch.
Alright. Takashi.
Takashi Yanagi is from Des Moines, Iowa.
He's a healthy skin coach.
Healthy skin coach? A healthy skin coach.
What does that mean? Uh, you're gonna have to ask him.
[ Whispering ] He's a healthy skin coach.
Oh, does it stay on? Does it stay on? Does it stay on?
No. Not a good sign.
So he'll be from the drop zone.
Get ready to take a shower!
Let's see what kind of wheels Takashi has.
[ Buzzer ]
There he goes. Go, go, oh, no, no.
Oh! No shot. No chance. Who got him?
Who got him? Fly Man? Gorilla. Gorilla got him.
Hey, Gorilla's got a big hit rate.
He had no chance, so stroke penalty and from the drop zone.
The healthy skin coach from Iowa
takes a mud bath here at Hole Number Two.
People pay top dollar for this kind of mud treatment
in spas all over the world. They do.
Look at these dance moves she's busting out.
I think they're bringing out the weird in each other.
You know what? Just play that as a clip to tease the show.
[ Exhaling rapidly ]
[ Vocalizes ]
[ Exhaling rapidly ]
Hole in two, 'cause it's Hole Number Two.
Hole in two.
Takashi off the ramp. His second shot.
Riggle: Ooh, that's a nice little touch.
It's not bad. Not bad.
-Okay, okay. I'll take that. -Alright.
-Let's play golf! -Let's play golf!
You know, I've got to say, our Holey Moley competitors
have been unbelievably gracious,
for the most part, to one another.
For the most part. It's been very enjoyable to watch.
They spend a lot of time together.
There's a lot of anticipation.
I'm sure there's some bonding going on back there.
I know they've been shotgunning beers and...
Often. Yes, back there. They have a beer funnel.
Shake it off.
Hayla: Shake it off. No pressure.
Hayla Stewart -- She loves to play mini golf.
Cannot stress that enough.
No pressure.
This is for the win.
Oh, my God.
Riggle: She made it!
That's huge. She makes it through.
Aah! [ Laughs ]
Well, they brought out the best in each other.
Or the worst.
So, there you have it --
Hayla takes that third slot into round number 2.
Hey, let's go down to Jeannie on the course.
And how does it feel?
I feel like a frozen chocolate milkshake.
Well, you know what?
You look like a number two,
but you came out number one.
Yay! [ Laughs ]
Rob, please tell me that you've heard from
Pepe the Prawn at this point. I have not.
And the further I remove myself from the situation, the better.
Yeah, but don't you just want to make sure
he doesn't still have Stephen captive --
or even worse, that he doesn't follow through with his ransom plan?
Oh, trust me, he won't.
Prawns are the most non-confrontational crustaceans
I know.
And now Pepe the King Prawn's ABC extortion plan.
Pepe: Look, look! I made a special ransom note!
Man: Oh, no, we don't negotiate with shellfish.
Then say goodbye to your mini golf loser!
Guys, guys, listen to him, please.
Do whatever he says. He's a madman.
I am a king prawn!
Now, listen, I work for Don Rickles. Okay?
Don Rickles? Sí, sí. The "Holey Moleys" man.
You mean Rob Riggle? Sí, sí.
Now you either pick up a new season of "Holey Moleys"
by midnight, or else you'll never see
your "Holey Moley" promo man ever again.
Alright, alright. Everybody, just calm down.
We can figure something out.
What if -- What if we gave you your own pilot?
How's that sound? And a plane?
What? No, a TV pilot.
Oh. You mean Captain Sully?
No, like -- like a TV show and a whole series.
Oh. On ABC? Yes, on ABC.
This guy? This guy? Unbelievable.
[ Laughs ] [ Computer beeps ]
Shellfish...
♪♪
Tessitore: Time for the final Round 1 matchup on The Pecker.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Welcome to the course
41-year-old engineer Selassie Ahorlu
and 63-year-old retiree Kathy Valyo.
♪♪
Selassie: Salutations.
I am Selassie Ahorlu,
all the way from Accra, Ghana.
[ Speaking native language ]
I currently reside in Inglewood.
Back in Ghana, I competed in miniature golf competitions.
I competed passionately, and I won a few trophies.
Well, I'm here to tell my competitors come ready to play,
'cause I'm bringing my A-game.
This is just meant to be.
Hi, my name is Kathy Valyo. I'm 63 years old.
My background in mini golf takes me way back
to when I was a child.
I play twice a week with my nieces,
Misa and Maiya. Yes!
We have a lot of fun on the course,
and, yes, we are competitive.
I've always been active in sports.
I enjoy hiking, skiing, zip-lining,
and I'm going to be able to take on those obstacles with ease.
Just because I'm 63, don't underestimate me.
Tessitore: The Pecker.
Selassie steps up to the tee
looking to get his ball in that channel
and a potential hole in one on the green below.
Riggle: Oh, that got a hard kick off the bumper.
Kicked completely right.
Pecker hangs to the right. It does. It does.
Oh, no, too much gas.
Well, yeah, the ridge is in play there.
Let's see what he can do here.
Oh, my God. There's no way I'm doing that.
How am I gonna tackle this?
Selassie now has to try to pluck the plume on the Pecker's head.
Otherwise, it's a stroke penalty.
You got it. You got it. Come on. You can do this.
You can do it. Go!
Whoo!
He's gonna get it! He's gonna get it!
He did it! He did it!
Selassie Ahorlu has got the plume,
so he does not get the stroke penalty.
He lies one on the green.
Riggle: That's gonna help. That's gonna help.
Kathy Valyo, a retiree from San Diego.
She describes herself as young at heart.
She says, "If I win this 'Holey Moley' season,
I'm gonna donate the money to a local children's hospital."
Good for you, Kathy. God bless.
Heart of gold. Heart of gold.
Heart of gold, that Kathy.
Oh, it took the same path as Selassie.
Come on, baby. Come on. Come on.
She needs -- Oh, no. Oh, it's going wide.
Oh, she got a good kick. That's the best kick possible.
She got a great kick there.
Wow, it took her out a little further,
but she doesn't have the ridge in front.
You'd still rather be on that side of things.
Kathy, who loves hiking and skiing,
but she has never faced a challenge like this --
jumping onto a giant, bobbing Pecker.
[ Chuckles ] Did you hear yourself just now?
This is a family show.
It's been a family show for a long time.
I just see the spit take from the president of ABC.
Phbt! [ Laughs ]
You've got this, Kathy.
Here goes Kathy.
Oh, she took a hit. Oh!
Wow. Agh.
She couldn't have hit that any worse, really.
Full impact. Enough to recoil back.
Did she have a smile on her face?
Hold on! She's smiling.
I want to take a close look at this real quick, Joe.
Take a look here. Right here. Look at that.
Has she been knocked unconscious,
or is that a big old smile?
That's a big old smile. That's a great attitude.
Calls herself young at heart.
So, here's the situation -- Selassie currently lies one,
but he does have that ridge to contend with,
whereas Kathy sits two.
She can putt from distance. She's still in this.
Got to call my ancestors.
Spirit. Get the spirit going.
-Direct the ball, okay? -I know.
See, I wouldn't do the bank shot because he has
the stroke advantage of not getting the penalty stroke.
I would lay up.
Look at this thing run. What? What?
So, now the great launch... Good job.
...and leap and physical prowess you possessed
and showed against the Pecker, it's gone.
You wiped it out.
Kathy Valyo now for a three.
This opens the door for Kathy.
She says that putting is the best part of her game.
Can she make this,
put the pressure back on Selassie?
Here it is!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Wow! Wow! What a putt!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
Whoo! Whoo!
And now it's do or die for Selassie Ahorlu.
Has to make this to force the putt-off.
Oh! Putt...
Oh! Oh, no!
[ Cheers and applause ] Whoo-hoo!
Whoo!
The young-at-heart Kathy Valyo,
she takes that last spot going into Round 2.
I don't know why this seat is so uncomfortable.
Played a little trick on you today, Joe.
What'd you do? I took all the foam out of your seat.
I feel like you did. It's just leather and plywood.
That's what it feels like to me. Yeah.
Gotcha. Feels like I can feel the bolts
where it's screwed in to the base of the chair.
Practical joke. I always like practical jokes.
I know you do. I know.
I'm tempted to take some of those four-day-old donuts
and put them right here on my ass.
Round 2 is coming your way right after this short break.
Tessitore: Welcome back to the home of extreme mini golf.
It is Round 2, and in a Holey Moley first,
we have an all-female line up
who will battle it out for the plaid jacket,
The Golden Putter, and a chance at a quarter mil.
And our first matchup takes place on The Fishing Hole,
sponsored by TakeMeFishing.org.
A great resource for anyone looking to get into
recreational fishing and boating.
Now, Sir Goph and his son out there.
Just a beautiful day. Father, son fishing.
What do you think Sir Goph is saying to his son?
Probably something along the lines of,
"How big of a fishing pole do you need
to catch one of those fish?"
These are not real fish.
They are inflatable, giant props.
Hey, why don't you quit spreading
those fish-ious rumors. [vicious]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Ready to kick off Round 2,
we have the young-at-heart Kathy Valyo
and the hyperactive Hayla Stewart.
Did they just get in the boat for a photo opportunity?
I think they did.
Both: Holy mackerel!
Boy, there is a lot of energy between these two.
Whoo! Let's do this!
Hayla's tee shot, looking for a straight putt under the fish,
through those obstacles, onto the green.
Alright. Hole in one. Hole in one.
Kathy: There you go. There you go.
Oh. Oh!
Hayla Stewart's ball kicks to the left.
-Nice. -Whoo!
Oh, no. Oh. [ Laughs ]
Now comes the hard part.
Hayla has to time this run just right,
how to get past the fish.
Otherwise, it's a stroke penalty.
I don't know if the blazer is the best thing to run in.
I will say this about her outfit, Joe.
It does look very so-fish-ticated.
[ Smacks lips ]
Now, do you think she knows to start-stop,
or you think she's just gonna try and run-and-gun?
This is definitely gonna be the start-stop,
but I don't sense a lot of quick bursts.
[ Crowd groans ]
Wow, what was that?
[ Laughs ]
She got battered. Battered.
Fish.
I got the ultimate fish puns all day, Joe.
That's what I'm about.
Some people might even call it a boatload.
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
[ Crowd chanting "Special K!" ]
Look at Kathy down there just loving life.
You know what I love about mini golf
is that it's for all ages, all kinds,
and Kathy's a great example of that.
A little slice of America.
Just like you take your whole family out,
you're gonna get smacked in the face
with a hot cannon blast of water.
It's a sport for all.
That's a good tee shot.
Watch the comeback. Watch the comeback.
Oh, beautiful. Nice.
Wow. Almost a tap-in.
Oh, yeah! Yeah! Whoo!
Magnificent tee shot for Kathy Valyo.
She has proven to be a warrior.
63, she's out there, hooking and jabbing.
Look at her. She's swaying back and forth,
trying to find the rhythm.
That's tai chi.
Oh!
The most ineffective tai chi I've ever seen in my life.
[ Laughs ]
Here's the replay, Joe.
That was the most gentle goodnight I've ever seen.
Yeah, it was. [ Chuckles ]
It was a suggestion by the fish.
It wasn't even a thrust or a power move.
There was no threat by the fish. "Oh, wait a sec.
Before you go any further, why don't you have a cold drink."
And she goes, "Okay, yeah, I think I will."
Classic Kathy. Classic, classic Kathy.
Alright. Hayla's up.
So, they both lie two,
but Kathy's got something easy to clean up here.
I'm just gonna knock your ball out.
It's getting real.
I can't scale it back at this point.
Wow.
Hayla Stewart, this for a three.
♪♪
Oh. Oh.
I mean, just not enough on that shot.
Now we have Kathy Valyo, who says,
if she wins Holey Moley, she's gonna donate her prize
to a local children's charity.
Could be heading to tonight's final round.
She does it with ease. How about that?
Well done, Kathy. Whoo!
Kathy Valyo may be swapping out
that blue-square top for green-plaid glory.
63 years old, folks, and she's gonna play
in the final pairing tonight for a championship.
We should dolphin-itely see something special from Kathy.
[ Smacks lips ]
♪♪
And now Pepe the King Prawn.
[ Cellphone ringing ]
Riggle: [ Whispering ] Pepe, it's Riggle.
Hola, Don Rickles!
[ Laughs ] Pepe, I'm glad you picked up.
Hmm. Hey, uh, you let Stephen go, right?
Curry: [ Chuckles dryly ]
What? Hey, Don Rickles.
Oh, hey, Stephen. I'm so glad you're okay.
I was worried about you,
you know, especially with that guy. Whoa.
No, you weren't. I know the whole story.
You tried to manipulate my friend Pepe here... Wait.
...for your own selfish reasons.
-Hold on. No. -Sí, sí. We're friends now.
We both have something in common.
What do you mean? We love TV pilots.
Mm! Sí, sí.
We called ABC and told them about your ransom plans.
My plans? Yeah, and they loved us together so much,
they gave us our own sitcom.
So we're good. Sí, it's called "Yummy Curry Prawns."
-But what about the show? -What show?
Our show. "Holey Moley."
[ Chuckles ]
[ Laughs ]
Rob, was that Pepe?
[ Cellphone beeps ] Yep.
Did he ever release Stephen?
Nope. Did he go through with the ransom call?
Yep. Man, I am sorry to hear that.
What's gonna happen to Stephen and Pepe?
Apparently, they got their own TV pilot.
Wow! Really? Good for them.
Hey, buck up. They'll probably hire you as the crazy next-door neighbor.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Only one spot remains in the final round,
and our competitors have to battle it out on Full Mooney.
Jeannie's down on the course to walk us through it.
It's one small step for man,
several tiny steps for mini golfers.
Golfers launch their ball into orbit
by putting up a large ramp.
Then they gotta moonwalk to the green by balancing
on top of the moon.
Fall into the water below, and it's a stroke penalty.
Good stuff, Jeannie.
-[ Howls ] -Whoo!
We have two nurses going head to head on Full Mooney --
Julie Ibach and Jenna Barkheimer, AKA J-Bark.
I'm glad they're both nurses, but I hope
we don't have to call on their skills during play tonight.
Going to go to the Moon. Going to go to the Moon.
Julie is a veteran.
She served in the Navy and the Air Force,
now works at a VA hospital.
It's gonna be out of this world.
[ Laughs ] Out of this world. Yeah.
Swing it like a bat. Swing it like a bat.
There you go.
Nice. That's a good tee shot right there.
Whoo!
Julie sits just on the edge of the green
but will have that ridge to contend with.
Riggle: She's a veteran.
Throw anything at her, she'll be able to handle it.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Aah!
Oh, boy.
And a good tee shot.
But can she do the moonwalk?
That first step is often a challenge, isn't it, Rob?
It is. You get the shaky legs because it wants to move.
Okay.
Man: Three, two, one, zero!
Okay. Here we go.
There's Julie. First couple steps are all right.
Oh, you gotta go faster. She's gotta go faster.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Oh, good balance. That was well done.
Look at her go! Oh, this is a good run by Julie.
Wow! She's doing it! She's doing it!
[ Crowd groans ]
Oh, boy!
We have splash down.
That was a great run. She made the correction.
She was able to get her balance back.
Yeah. She sped up. She found the correct pace.
She was doing it, Joe. She was doing it.
She was about 80% through, Rob.
Just another classic moment when she came out of the water.
It is so cold.
She was almost walking on water.
She almost walked out of there.
♪♪
Jenna Barkheimer,
29-year-old nurse,
goes by the nickname J-Bark.
What will her tee shot look like?
J-Bark!
She flies it over, it's low.
It hits the padding,
and does come out of the sand.
That was in the sand for a moment.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Jenna -- She's already gone viral once on a golf course.
Could she do it again here on Full Mooney?
♪♪
Alright, Jenna. Here it comes.
We're standing by.
Three, two, one, zero!
Oh, oh, oh. She's staying on top.
That's good, that's good. Oh, she's doing it.
Jenna doing a nice job so far.
Stay in control. Stay in control. Gotta get faster. Gotta get faster.
Gotta get behind it.
Look at Jenna! She may do it, Rob! Run, run, run!
She may do it! Run! Run! Run!
Run! She may do it!
She did it! Oh! [ Laughs ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Jenna Barkheimer avoids the stroke penalty.
As impressive of an obstacle conqueror as you will see.
Wow. She really found the groove and stayed in it.
The leg drive. The constant leg drive kept her balanced there.
Damn, Jenna.
Way to go, J-Bark.
Jenna Barkheimer, after that sensational moonwalk.
She has the stroke advantage,
but this is not an easy putt at all.
Can she make it for the win?
Over the ridge. This is good.
Oh! It's a great putt! Look at that!
Jenna Barkheimer wins here on Full Mooney.
Great, great effort on the hole, but terrible moonwalk.
When she had to have it, she moonwalked just fine.
She'll be playing for the plaid putter and golden jacket.
A lot of momentum heading into the final round.
Can we do that again?
I messed that up. Sorry, everyone.
I hate to be, like, finicky and fastidious.
Nobody knows that word.
Why do you always say that every time I speak?
You act like I have a superhuman vocabulary... You do.
...that others don't possess.
Cool your jets, Joe.
Take your "festivitessness." It's America, Jack.
Figure it out.
Don't go anywhere. The final round after the break.
Tessitore: Welcome back to "Holey Moley."
We are so excited for this, an all-female final round.
It's young-at-heart Kathy Valyo
taking on J-Bark, Jenna Barkheimer,
for The Golden Putter, the plaid jacket,
and a spot in the season finale
and a shot at a quarter million dollars.
It will all be determined on one of the most spectacular holes
in our four years of Holey Moley --
Holeywood.
And here they come. Final round.
All comes down to this.
You look gorgeous. You do, too, girl.
Hopefully, it won't get wet. Ooh.
Tessitore: Boy, J-Bark is really bringing it today, isn't she?
Whoo! [ Cheers and applause ]
Riggle: They're both naturals on the red carpet,
if I do say so, being a veteran of the red carpet myself, Joe.
"Over here, Mr. Riggle! Over here, Mr. Riggle!"
What? Where are you guys? Come on.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Whoo!
First to tackle Holeywood is Kathy Valyo,
the retiree from San Diego.
Let's see how she does now on the accelerator red carpet.
That'll launch her towards the floating stars.
Remember, wherever Kathy lands,
that'll determine her starting position over on the green.
Oh, my God. [ Crowd chanting "Kathy!" ]
Here she goes. She's not running.
Gotta get faster. Gotta get faster.
How far can she go?
Oh, that's the worst ball position. Oh!
She's gonna be in the Riggle drop zone.
Hold on. How would you feel if you're not even a star,
all you were was the water?
But that's not reality.
If I had an agent, I would call him right now.
Okay, here we go with J-Bark.
♪♪
Oh, what a great launch!
Wow! Wow!
She's on the Joe Tess star, all the way out there.
She's gonna have a great putting position.
A great -- You're all the way up there
and I'm all the way back there?! Yes!
Come on.
Let's take a look at that replay.
So, J-Bark landing on the Joe Tess star
will have the far superior tee position here on Holeywood.
Who will putt for a quarter million dollar opportunity,
with a Golden Putter and a plaid jacket?
Kathy Valyo will be putting from the Rob Riggle drop zone.
Oh, God, please don't call it that anymore.
That is literally the title.
As they say in the business, she got Riggled.
No. No one says that. They say it all the time.
No one says that. That is not a thing. She got Riggled.
♪♪
[ Chuckles ] Yeah.
Playing in the water.
Here we go. Kathy's tee shot.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Jenna: Nice. Here she is off of the bank.
Coming back down.
Oh!
So close!
Whoo! Yes.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Good putt.
Jenna Barkheimer, J-Bark,
29-year-old nurse from West Palm Beach,
here playing in the final round,
trying to become a champion tonight.
She's coming from the Joe Tess position
on this red carpet island hole. [ Scoffs ]
Look at how close she is with this ball position.
Blech.
Off the bank.
Kathy: Nice putt.
Oh, that's a beautiful putt.
What a tee shot.
Both lie one.
Remember, if you go into the water,
it's not a stroke penalty.
You just get Riggled on the hole.
Kathy Valyo's putting has been dialed in all night.
Pressure is on.
♪♪
Oh, that's a great putt by Kathy Valyo! Wow!
Look at that! Kathy will not be denied!
She's been on fire.
What a putt from Kathy Valyo.
63-year-old retiree.
Special K! Special K! Special K!
She has had a magical run through Holey Moley tonight.
Wow, that was clutch, Joe. Wasn't it?
Dreams do come true in Hollywood.
Kathy cards a two from distance.
The pressure now on Jenna
to force a putt-off.
♪♪
Oh, no! Oh, J-Bark misses!
It stays on the lip, and Kathy earns
the plaid jacket and The Golden Putter.
I can't believe it!
Kathy Valyo is now in the season finale --
the 63-year-old from San Diego,
who says, "If I win the quarter million,
I'm donating it all to a local children's hospital."
Oh, Riggle! That's from the Riggle Zone!
I saw where she putted from. She did get Riggled.
She's Riggling it.
You hit off the Riggle drop zone, you win,
And Kathy just proved it, Jack.
Let's head over to the clubhouse for the winner's ceremony.
And here to hand out the coveted Holey Moley plaid jacket
is Holey Moley's biggest star,
none other than the actual, real-life Stephen Curry.
The champ is here.
Oh, my gosh. Congratulations.
Thank you. Wow. [ Laughs ]
Ready for the green jacket? Oh, I can't believe it.
Holy moly, I made it to...
You know, it looks like Stephen's
actually getting younger.
Riggle: Well, you're right, Joe.
The hands of time are treating Stephen well.
Looks like someone's putting on extra face cream at night, huh?
♪♪
As always, thanks for being with us,
and we'll see you next week with more Holey Moley.