Previously on "Holey Moley"...
Hit me with all your ideas.
To save the show...
Bananas!
...Rob tried brainstorming...
It's called "Smells Fishy."
...blackmail...
Riggle: Pepe! What on earth did you do?!
Ransom! Now we get all the monies!
...and backstabbing.
Scooter: Okay, Joe Tessitore replacement auditions.
You know, if I nail this thing, they won't even
have to change the name on the door.
Now...
Ah. Well, hello, Miss Piggy.
...Rob's last hope to save the show...
I'm planning the big finale Distractor for "Holey Moley."
...rests on two pork shoulders.
You are just the star I need
to hit it out of the park.
You need a star, you say?
Tessitore: This evening, we have eight ordinary humans...
Oh! ...doing the extraordinary,
taking on the most difficult obstacles
in mini golf's illustrious thousand-year history.
Whoa!
[ Crowd groans ]
-Oh! -Whoa!
Tonight, three rounds of extreme mini golf,
one winner hoping to make it to a final putt
worth a quarter mil. Whoo!
Hi, everybody, glad you're with us. I'm Joe Tessitore.
I'm Rob Riggle, and this is...
Both: "Holey Moley"...
"Fore-ever!"
♪♪
It's another stunning night here at Holey Moley,
and the question is, who's gonna take that big prize
on the road to extreme mini golf superstardom?
Nothing quite prepares you for that kind of fame.
I'm sure there was some successful comedian
who actually told you that.
Oh. Ha! Ha! Ha!
You're doing a little joke there, huh?
Stay in your lane, Joe-Joe. Let me do the comedy.
You don't see me doing your job, acting like a sportscaster.
That's exactly what you do.
Is it? Yes.
You want to explain the rules, then?
Sure.
Uh, here's how tonight works.
Eight golfers gonna face off.
There's gonna be winners, naturally.
They're gonna compete again,
and that's called round 2. Oh.
Then they'll play a sudden-death match.
Oh, really?
Um, nope.
Meant to say, "Then they get a spot in the final."
That's the last show. That's what final means. Uh-huh.
That's when the champion will have a chance
to putt for the big money --
$250,000.
Yeah, so, we should probably stay in our lanes, shall we?
[ Mumbles mockingly ]
With our golfers primed and ready to do battle... Whoo! Yeah!
...it's time for The Fishing Hole,
sponsored by takemefishing.org.
How do I look, guys? How do I look?
I look good? I look good?
Just fishing for compliments, and so...
Speaking of fishing,
our golfers need to putt across the bridge
and then take on the biggest fish in the universe.
If they get knocked into the water,
it's a stroke penalty.
And they said getting famous would make my head big.
Do you like fishing and boating, Joe?
Yeah, love it. Yes, absolutely.
Okay. And you know about takemefishing.org, right?
Yeah. Great beginner resource
for anyone looking into getting into recreational
fishing and boating. It's a wonderful resource, Rob.
Alright. I did give them your phone number,
so stand by for that.
[ Record scratch ] My phone number?
Best phone number take I've ever seen in my life.
[ Laughs ] Best --
Somebody, start writing your acceptance speech.
That was truly...
That was one of those "What!" moments.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Time to head down onto the course
and kick off round 1 action.
[ Both cheering ]
Our first match-up here -- Abai Dunbar from Florida
up against Alexandria Bare from North Carolina.
You going in the water.
You're going in the water.
Hi, everybody. My name is Abai Dunbar.
I am from Miami, Florida,
and I am an independent film and TV director.
I got you.
All my friends call me "Abai Beast" because
when I step out on the course,
something turns on inside of me.
I can go from extremely calm
to just "Aaah!"
Releasing the beast in a split second.
Being a filmmaker helps me out in putting
because I have this ability to know the distance
from me to a certain object.
Whoo! I'm a beast in life,
I'm a beast at my job,
and I'm a beast on the course.
The beast is coming out.
[ Roars ]
Hey, y'all, I'm Alexandria Bare,
and I'm a professional golfer from Salisbury, North Carolina.
I had a record amount of birdies in college.
My last name is Bare, so that's why I'm known as "Birdie Bare."
[ Ting! ]
My short game is top-notch.
Number one.
I've been playing professional golf
for about a year now,
and I have not had my first win.
I've had multiple runner-ups,
and I'm here on "Holey Moley" to get that win.
Whoo!
Birdie!
You are so good.
Tessitore: Alexandria Bare.
She has a 75-foot tee shot.
Riggle: Nice.
Ooh. Caught something, Joe.
Let's see what it does here on the return.
Oh, that -- she has a great position.
Absolutely great position.
Looking good.
Water cannons are on.
Oh, no!
Alexandria is a professional golfer who played at Duke
on a full scholarship.
In -- In and out over here.
Now, I don't know how well she'll fare
at dodging jumping fish.
Aah! Ooh, ooh, ooh -- Oh.
What was that? What was that?
She just almost passively fell into the water.
She just walked off the plank.
You've got to be willing to stand up to that water cannon.
Accept that you're gonna get wet.
Yes. Stand your ground. Stay the course.
I mean, right now, if Stretch was to take
that garden hose over there and just blast you... Yeah.
...right in the face, you'd still broadcast.
Stretch?
No, he doesn't have to do it.
We don't have to demo.
We'll just take my word for it.
I would stay the course.
I know you would.
Put the hose down.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Now up is Abai Dunbar.
I got this.
This guy can go from being extremely calm
to releasing the beast.
Oh, no! Oh, boy, that looked like it was gonna be
a good tee shot, and then it hit the bank.
I mean, he's still got a clean look at it,
but you can see how much further away he is
than Alexandria's position on the green.
Uh-oh. What?
I'm hearing word now that Abai can't swim.
We have lifeguards standing by
to help him out if he does go in.
Understood, but the fear factor just went way through the roof.
I'm a little worried about him.
[ Grunts ]
[ Crowd groans ]
No! No!
And...he does go in.
And they will get to him right away.
That was a nice move right there.
Lifeguard chain of life.
Yeah, chain of life from the lifeguard.
A lot of times, they don't break out the chain of life.
No. Is that what it's called?
Yes. Well, I just dubbed it that.
Trademark, copyright Rob Riggle.
But yes. Chain of life.
Alexandria: [ Speaks indistinctly ]
Alright. Putting here to try to get to round 2 now.
Whoo-hoo!
Alexandria and Abai.
Abai: Oh, I got this, I got this.
You got this one.
You see him walking off the putt.
Count his steps.
I thought it was a sobriety test.
[ Laughs ]
Alright.
Both of our competitors sit 2.
Abai is away.
Abai runs it past. Oh.
Well past.
Too far.
Maybe it was a sobriety test.
[ Laughs ]
♪♪
That means Alexandria is putting for the win
here on Fishing Hole.
Pretty birdie, pretty birdie.
Getting herself mentally set for victory.
Oh!
[ Cheers and applause ]
For the win, and she does it.
Alexandria "Birdie Bare."
Tweet, tweet, tweet. Hear that birdie? That's me.
So she stakes her claim on the leaderboard,
and she's moving on to round 2.
Birdie Bare, number one!
Whoo! [ Laughs ]
[ Cackling ]
Let's head over to our next epic round 1 hole.
Here's Jeannie Mai.
You know your kid's volcano science experiment?
This hole is gonna be nothing like that.
It's Polecano.
Golfers putt up the side of the volcano,
hoping to sink in that special channel
which redirects their ball
to the best position on the green.
Then they'll zip-line across the water.
If they fall into the water,
it will land them with a penalty stroke.
-Let's do this. -Are you nervous?
Not as nervous as you.
Nah, nah. Good game.
Tessitore: Another round 1 battle,
and it's between 39-year-old golf facility manager
Will Keys up against
Ashley Dutka from California.
My name is Ashley Dutka,
and I'm a street artist from East Los Angeles,
and I'm known as the "Spray Paint Assassin" in mini golf.
I got into mini golf when I was younger,
and I'm a pretty good putter.
When I spray paint, I use my fingers for can control
to get those little details,
and I'm going to use that same precision
to get that ball inside the hole.
Mini golf, I love it.
To my competition, I just want to say watch out.
I'm here to paint you out of the picture.
What's up, guys? I'm "Chill" Will Keys
from Memphis, Tennessee.
I got ice water in my veins, baby.
I manage the golf course where I hit my first golf ball.
Golf is life. That's the only thing I have a passion for.
Putting is the best part of my game.
I'm here to run this just like I run my home course.
I am Chill Will.
No matter how much pressure,
I keep it chill.
[ Laughs ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
Let's do it.
Tessitore: Chill Will getting ready to putt here.
Alright. Riggle: Chill Will --
dynamite nickname.
Alright. And make this easy on yourself, Chill Will.
Alright. Here we go.
As it comes down between the lava rocks...
[ Crowd groans ]
Did Chill Will just go in the sand?
Chill Will just went into the sand,
which is the worst position to putt from.
He was super chill about it.
Well, he's Chill Will.
[ Cackling ]
He's about to be even more chill if he goes
in that water, am I right? Let's do it.
Let's see what Will can do here.
I don't know. I think he makes it.
5'10", 200 pounds, plays a lot of golf.
You know, you haven't said anything
that makes me feel like I'm right.
What would you want me to say,
that he, uh, has a vice grip of a hug?
That's good. That his chest
naturally produces a sticky substance?
Yes. Now I'll take the action.
Okay. Are we gonna bet on this?
Nope.
Here he goes.
Chill Will versus the pole.
[ Crowd groans ]
Ooh! Ooh!
The things we do to these poor people.
What's going on with Polecano this year?
What is going on? Yeah, Polecano is just all over the place.
This season, we see our contestants either landing it with ease
or going into that water hard.
Should be called erectile dysfunction.
The P--
Oh, "eruptile" dysfunction.
[ Laughs ]
Alright. And now Ashley Dutka.
That's definitely a pantsuit
of an extreme mini golfer.
Ashley is a 29-year-old street artist.
Does she get paid for it, or does she just go around
with a bunch of spray cans? You know,
sometimes in life, Rob, it doesn't matter
if there is a financial reward.
Miss Graffiti. I got it.
Thank you.
Ashley lining it up.
Wants to get it through that opening
at the top for the best tee shot.
She's in the bounce-around.
Ashley: Ahh!
[ Crowd groans ]
Oh! She went in the sand, as well.
No. So both of our golfers
are gonna have real issues on the green.
[ Cackling ]
Ashley's ball came out into the sand
right next to Will's.
Now let's see if Ashley can stay on the pole.
Those are the eyes of someone
who is not embracing this moment.
That's panic, Joe.
That's just straight panic.
If she can stick this, though,
she'll have the stroke advantage.
Here she goes.
Polecano, does it get the best of her?
Oh!
No!
No. Oh, boy.
Oh, she won't let go.
Here it comes.
It goes even faster.
[ Crowd groans ]
Oh! Oh!
Wow. Oh, the small of the back.
Joe, did she come up? Did she surface?
[ Crowd cheering ]
She's up. She's doggy paddling.
Oh, the replay.
Watch how the body reacts here.
Oh.
Ohh, my back hurts, Joe. Aw.
That was savage. That was savage.
That is a chiro appointment waiting to happen.
Can I just say if she had more back strength,
she could have stuck it?
What? She could have stuck that landing
if she had better back strength?
Yeah, and I think she's gonna get a lot of mileage out of it.
She'll be telling this story for the next 20 years.
Whew! We will have
this thrilling Polecano conclusion
when we return after this short break.
Don't go anywhere, folks.
-Hey. -Huh?
I just realized the best thing about "Holey Moley."
What's that? The commercials!
[ Both laugh ]
Tessitore: Welcome back to "Holey Moley."
Will: Let's do it, let's do it!
While you were away, Chill Will
and Ashley Dutka jumped out of the water...
I'm gonna win! Yeah!
...and moved over to the sand, where they continued
to putt it out on Polecano.
Ashley had a bit too much pepper in the gumbo...
Oh, my...
...while Will had a beautiful exit from the bunker.
[ Crowd groans ]
I'll take it. Let's do it.
Then for her fourth stroke, Ashley missed the bank,
went over the ridge, and ran well past the cup...
Oh, my goodness.
...leaving Chill Will with only one thing to do.
That was awesome!
Good game, Ashley. Good game.
Tessitore: Shake off the nerves, get through it,
conquer Polecano, and we will see Will Keys
in the second round of Holey Moley.
Thank you!
Riggle: Hey, Joe, something's happening at Polecano.
Isn't that Course Marshal Joe?
What's he doing?
Oh, I think he's just playing with himself.
Ah. Well, that makes sense.
Well, I think, clearly, we need to move on.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Hey, for our next hole, we got a tried-and-true fan favorite.
And speaking of fan favorites,
how about the Super Bowl champion,
the All Pro from the Kansas City Chiefs,
big 87, Travis Kelce? Glad to have you with us.
Fellas, it is an absolute pleasure.
Hey! Oh, this is great.
Am I crazy or did someone just drop a handsome grenade in here?
Look at that. Oh-oh!
Honestly, the screen's gonna bust
from that much handsome on it.
Oh. Welcome to "Holey Moley."
What an introduction. Thanks, guys.
I'm just here for a little violence.
Oh, we got that for you.
We also have a signature hole coming up.
It's The Distractor.
What's lurking behind the wall?
It's a distraction that's gonna try to throw off
our golfers from their game.
Will our golfers be able to power through this putt,
or will The Distractor get the best of them?
Oh, I tell you, I used to have teachers.
They would always say that I was easily distracted.
Well... Or maybe it was something else.
I don't know. I wasn't paying attention. But that's --
Yeah.
Whoo! Here come our next round 1 contestants.
It's 41-year-old college counselor Matthew Cullen
up against Obie O'Brien from Southern California.
Whoo! What's up, guys? It's Obie.
I'm a 35-year-old stand-up comedian
from Dana Point, California.
Holey Moley, baby!
Why did the golfer lose
on the second-to-last hole?
Because he didn't have enough balls to finish what he started.
Whoo!
I am obsessed with mini golf.
I play 365 days a year.
That's why I'm here. Yeah, baby!
What time do most golfers like to get off work?
Fore! [4:00]
[ Laughter ]
I'm Matthew Cullen, and I'm the Holey Moley legacy.
I've been miniature golfing since the age of 5.
Miniature golf is in my blood.
Both my brother and my mother were on season one,
and they both won, so I'm here on "Holey Moley"
to prove to my family,
out of all the Cullens, I'm the best.
That's right. That's me.
I just want to let you guys know,
I'm having a blast right now.
We got people to make fun of.
That's what we got to do.
How you like Cullen's outfit here?
I'm still trying to piece it together.
That shirt is a distractor. It's like half Rubik's Cube,
half math problem, half crossword.
Now, that's three halves. See how confused I am?
[ Laughs ]
Alright. Let's see what the distraction is.
Alright. What's it gonna be? What's it gonna be?
Here it is. What do we got here, Riggle?
What's the distraction? Oh, what do we got?
What do we got? Oh!
♪♪
Some hockey guys?
Matthew: Here we go! Yeah! Yay!
Whoo! Guys playing hockey, no problem!
Riggle: Oh! Tessitore: Full-on hockey game gonna be played?
The violence is about to start.
Let's have a good, clean game here, alright?
Man: Put it in the net, put it in the net!
Alright, so now, in the middle of all of this,
Matthew Cullen is gonna have to putt.
You see the hole illuminated there.
It's a 12-foot putt on this ice surface.
[ Hockey players shouting ]
Worst distraction when you're up at the line of scrimmage
just before the snap, what is it?
Just common conversation from the opponent.
Like a, "Hey, Travis, how have you been? How's the family?"
I'm just sitting here like, "What? Hut, hut, hike?"
Yeah. Just, "Uh...uh...
Where -- Pat."
Riggle: Oh, wait a minute. What's going on here?
Oh, no, they're not gonna throw down.
[ All shouting ]
Whoo!
[ Indistinct shouting ]
Oh, he's in a headlock. Oh, we're gettin' some!
This is one-on-one.
This is good stuff.
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Finish him! [ Distorted ] Finish him!
Is that blood?
They're saying there's blood on the ice.
There's blood on the ice.
Oh, my gosh.
Tessitore: They got to putt over the blood now.
Matthew: Okay, hole-in-one, baby.
First putt for Matthew Cullen.
♪♪
Get it the hole!
-Ohh! -Ohh!
And he misses. Have you ever seen a sport
with a better upgrade than what we've done to the game of golf?
This is what the PGA Tour needs.
Come on, this is it. This is it.
Man: You're out, you're done. This is it. I can feel it.
Obie O'Brien now, while the fight continues.
Obie's got the old leather jacket/shorts combo going.
He looks like every pot dealer from 1994.
[ Laughter ]
♪♪
[ Cheers and applause ]
Obie: Come on!
Yeah! [ Whistle blows ]
Ohh! Ohh! Ohh!
Look at this. You make a putt, no one's fighting anymore.
Obie O'Brien a round 1 winner on The Distractor
while a hockey fight is going on.
Extreme mini golf, a true blood sport.
I mean, that's gonna boost your ratings.
Yes. So Matthew Cullen defeated.
Now, remember, Dianne won on this show,
his brother Mick won on this show,
and here he is ousted in round number 1.
It's tough. It's gonna make for a hard Thanksgiving,
to be honest. Oh, that's a tough holiday.
I actually feel bad for Matthew.
Reaching for the turkey as Mick says,
"Turkey's for closers.
You don't win on 'Holey Moley,'
you don't eat any turkey. Right, Mom?"
"You got that right."
[ Laughs ]
No gravy for you, Matthew.
No gravy.
Man, it was great to have you here on "Holey Moley"
and call The Distractor, Travis.
How about that? That was fun. That was fun.
Mind if I do one of these for my boy?
Let's do it.
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
[ Laughs ] There we go.
Got to have a variety.
And when I said for my son,
I meant just for me. That's right, yeah.
[ Laughs ]
We got more "Holey Moley" set to come your way.
Don't go anywhere, folks.
Tessitore: Welcome back to "Holey Moley,"
as round 1 action continues.
It is a great night of mini golf.
Oh, yeah.
Church. Huh?
He's not down with church.
What's church? Is that street talk?
I know that. [ Laughs ]
I know it. Church -- Church it.
[ Laughs ]
Church finishes some--
It's only used at the end. Yeah.
It's an exclamation of confirmation.
I know. Yeah.
What, you -- you think I don't know?
[ Laughs ]
Pbht! Church.
[ Ricochet ]
Alright, everybody, it is time to move on
to a "Holey Moley" classic -- Hole Number Two.
Church.
Where our next golfers have just arrived.
Real intriguing match-up here.
33-year-old pro golfer and chef Francis Biondi
up against 42-year-old mother and fitness fanatic
Lisa Conley.
Hello, everybody, I'm Lisa Conley.
I'm from Armstrong, Illinois, and I'm a stay-at-home mom.
Being a mom is amazing.
I have four kids, and I have coached them in basketball
throughout their lives.
I can relate a lot of basketball skills
to my putting skills.
It takes a lot of focus and determination
and a steady hand.
Whoo!
I'm on "Holey Moley" to show my kids
that we could do anything that we put our minds to.
So, Conley kids, I'm doing this for you.
Hey, y'all. I'm Francis Biondi.
I'm known as "The Golfing Chef."
Today's special -- a hole-in-one.
Come on, let's go.
I'm a professional golfer.
I placed top five recently in a big event.
Let's chop it up. I could go pro in mini golf.
Where do I sign up?
Not only am I a professional golfer,
but I'm also a professional chef.
It's time to turn on the grill
and heat up this competition.
Francis is a pro golfer and a chef.
That's what I want to be.
You want to be a pro golfer, I know.
You really want to be a chef?
I didn't even know you were a good cook.
I'm not. I'm terrible, but that's what I want to be.
You're not gonna end up being a chef.
You can barely boil water.
Francis is first to the tee.
Needs to get the ball across that narrow path
over to the green.
♪♪
Well, it kicks off that last porta potty.
That's a tough break.
And he'll be putting from the drop zone.
Well, I'm glad he can, uh, cook 'cause he can't putt.
[ Laughs ]
Francis Biondi needs to get past these porta potty doors
and stay dry to avoid a stroke penalty.
[ Buzzer ]
Francis -- Francis is cooking.
[ Crowd groans ]
Almost had it.
Why would you say to yourself,
"Middle of the night, freezing cold water,
while I'm trying to win a mini golf tournament,
I want that to happen to me"?
It's hard to understand the American psyche.
Other than they're just competitors.
They love competition.
Those losers.
Here's the extremely athletic Lisa Conley.
Plays golf weekly.
What can she do here?
What is that? Did she just hit the first porta potty?
That's arguably the worst tee shot
in the history of Hole Number Two.
Alright, hold on. I got to write this down.
I got to remember the time and the date,
'cause that was the worst ever.
Ever. Terrible.
Okay, well, let's see if she can get across
to the green better than her ball.
[ Buzzer ]
Well, that's a bit of a shuffle.
[ Crowd groans ]
Oh, gosh. Yeah. Oh, there's a panic there.
She was actually moving faster when she was in the water... Yes.
...than when she was out of the water.
Alright, here comes the replay.
[ Crowd groans in slow-motion ]
It's almost like when the Terminator
goes into the hot magma.
Yes.
[ Exhales sharply ] Francis Biondi
from the drop zone.
Don't be fooled, folks.
This is a tricky putt.
♪♪
Off the ramp.
Catches that last ramp.
off the wall.
And then settles in. Pretty good.
Now an opportunity for Lisa Conley,
who had what we feel is the worst tee shot
in Hole Number Two history.
Oh, terrible turned up to 11, Joe.
Let's hope she has more luck with this second,
more difficult putt.
Off the first ramp, wraps around.
She'll grab that second ramp.
Really nice putt.
Oh.
She'll get some relief against that wall.
-Alright. -You got it.
This is a great example
of how, on this course, anything can happen.
Lisa Conley, 42-year-old mom,
can she do it?
Wow! Nice work, Lisa.
She has redeemed herself
and she will card a 4.
Francis Biondi will be putting to force a putt-off.
Can I touch the ball and line it up?
♪♪
Okay.
You're not allowed to touch the balls
here at Holey Moley. That's what he said.
No touchy-touchy.
Can't touch my ball.
He said, "No touchy-touchy." Yeah.
"Can't touch my ball." That's our policy.
You can read it in all our paperwork.
Very specific. No touchy-touchy.
Touchy-hyphen-touchy.
That's exactly right. Yeah.
Well, it's up to Francis now.
He needs this to force a putt-off.
[ Crowd groans ]
Oh, lips out!
Lisa Conley is on to round number 2,
and she makes up for the worst putt
in Hole Number Two history here on "Holey Moley."
And now Rob Riggle's attempt
to recruit Miss Piggy
to save "Holey Moley."
Miss Piggy. Mm.
Thank you so much for meeting me.
Mm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
By the way, you, uh, look divine.
Yeah.
Let's keep it business, Riggle.
Tell me about this big finale number.
Okay, fair enough. Picture this --
The most epic Distractor
"Holey Moley"'s ever seen. Mm.
It's gonna be big. It's gonna be shiny.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Lights, backdrops,
and an epic song
to close out the season.
And what's wardrobe for this?
Um, I don't know, a dress? I don't know.
So, for the song, I was -- Isn't a dress a little basic?
So obvious.
Ooh, what about a jumpsuit
or -- or something with too many zippers, hmm?
Well, sure. Why not?
I mean, with that figure, you can pull off anything.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Now, like I was saying about the song --
And what about my jewelry for this?
I was thinking simple silver filigree drop earrings,
a pearl choker, maybe a diamond-studded bracelet.
Definitely a necklace. Ooh, ooh, and bangles.
I just love bangles. Don't you just love bangles?
And then, of course, a tiara.
Another one of these. Something that says "queen"
more than "princess," obviously. It's gonna be a long night.
And I don't know, maybe a belly button ring.
I might be feeling it.
Tessitore: Welcome back to "Holey Moley."
It is our first sudden-death round 2 match-up
on an absolute fan favorite...
[ Pecking wood ]
...The Pecker.
Whoo! Yeah!
Riggle: Uh-oh, here we go, Joe.
Tessitore: Lisa Conley is 42 years old.
She's from Illinois.
She is looking to get herself to the final round,
but to do so, she has to get past Obie O'Brien.
Okay, well...
Come on, CrossFit.
Tessitore: Lisa Conley's tee shot.
Hoping to grab that channel for a potential hole-in-one
down to the green below.
Oh! She did not make it into the preferred channel.
However, I have seen people get really close to the hole, Joe.
This is good.
Oh, get a little kiss.
This is the kick she needs. There it is.
That's what she needed. There it is.
Watch this. There it is.
Oh, wow, that was fantastic.
How impressive was that?
Damn it. That's good ball placement.
Less than a foot. That's almost a tap in, Joe.
What?!
Lisa Conley has to launch from atop the tree stump,
grab the plume -- the feather
at the end of The Pecker's head.
Come on, CrossFit. Come on, CrossFit!
She coaches basketball,
so I think the timing on the jumping should --
Aah! Oh!
Maybe not.
That was so graceful.
Wow, that didn't pan out.
You're thinking, she's involved in athletics,
coaches basketball,
takes great pride in her athleticism.
And then you see what happened,
and it just doesn't really marry up.
And if you think that jump was unproductive,
well, wait till you see Obie O'Brien.
[ Chuckles ] You don't think he's got what it takes, Joe?
Not at all. Already, you don't.
Nope. Wardrobe tells you that right away.
Grabs the channel. Alright.
He got in the right shoot, I can tell you that much.
Slowly making its way down.
He's gonna be in good shape.
Obie O'Brien.
Oh, maybe, maybe, maybe.
[ Crowd "Oh"s ]
Oh! Oh!
Whoo! [ Cheers and applause ]
It's in the hole! A hole-in-one!
Unbelievable!
Hole-in-one, baby! Whoo!
Oh, my gosh, there will be no Pecker riding tonight.
[ Laughs ]
Yeah! Whoo!
Well done, Obie. Whoo!
Wardrobe deficiency greatly overcome.
Let's take another look, Joe,
'cause I want to see this one more time.
This is our first hole-in-one on The Pecker.
It is an ace for Obie O'Brien,
and victory is his.
Doesn't have to ride The Pecker tonight.
And now he's gonna be playing
for The Golden Putter and the plaid jacket.
Can I still jump the bird?
Why not? Enjoy The Pecker.
Oh! Oh!
[ Crowd groans ]
It was fun while it lasted.
It was fun.
I think I broke my eggs on that one.
And now Rob Riggle's attempt
to continue to recruit Miss Piggy
to save "Holey Moley."
Uncle Deadly: Mm-hmm.
Yes, this one's nice.
Tangerine.
It brings out the pulp in your cheeks. [ Chuckles ]
Mm. Listen, darling. You've been so busy as of late.
Perhaps an understudy for this performance?
What, are you kidding me? Who put you up to this?
That Riggle guy? Yes.
This is ridiculous.
Who would possibly have the guts
to try and step into my shoes?
Hi! [ Gasps ] Who was that?
Oh! Jeannie Mai.
Who? My, oh, my.
What a surprise, Jeannie Mai.
Oh! Miss Piggy, it's such an honor to finally meet you.
I'm sorry, but I'm not receiving visitors
in my dressing room at this time.
Oh, but this is a green room.
Oh, right.
Well, I will be in my big trailer, then.
Yes, my very spacious trailer, where I'll be rehearsing
for my big number that I'll be performing.
That's where I'll be.
Rehearsing with me.
So nice to meet you...
Jeannie Mai.
Okay.
Bye. Okay.
Oh, my God! She said my name.
Might I advise using an alias?
♪♪
Tessitore: Welcome back to "Holey Moley."
Okay, we are ready to go. It's our final
round 2 match-up, folks,
as we say hello again to Chill Will,
who won on Polecano,
and Alexandria Bare,
who took out The Fishing Hole.
Oh, yeah. Thank you.
Tessitore: Now they square off,
and they are posing on the red carpet
at Holeywood.
No autographs, no autographs, just photos only.
The glitz and glamour of Holeywood.
Love you guys! Thank you!
Whoo!
Let's do it.
That red carpet accelerator awaits Will.
The further you go, if you can land
on one of the stars,
the better your tee shot position is.
Go in the water on Holeywood
and you're from the Rob Riggle drop zone.
The Rob Riggle drop zone five diamond pedestal.
There's only one like it in the entire world.
Alright. [ Air horn blows ]
Here we go!
Will, what do you have here?
How far can you go?
He launched --
Oh, no. Bounces off Sir Goph
and clings onto Jeannie Mai's star.
At what point does he regret his decision
to come on "Holey Moley"?
Uh, right now, obviously.
[ Air horn blows ] He's in too much of the water
and he's from the drop zone.
On the replay...
He went to jump,
and just his feet gave out off the end
of the red carpet.
Yikes.
Hey! Say ho, say hey!
Oh, she's working 'em up.
Working up the gallery here.
She knows how to get the paparazzi into a frenzy.
I can't hear you. [ Air horn blows ]
At just 23 years old, Alexandria.
Oh, gosh, oh, gosh.
What is she doing?
Slammo!
Oh! She didn't consider the end of the red carpet.
She never got to jump.
I think she forgot she was on an accelerator,
'cause she got to the end, kind of looked over,
like, "Oh, I think I'll jump on that one."
-Alright, baby, let's do it. -Whoo!
Hey, they're at the Rob Riggle drop zone.
Very prestigious.
If you failed at the task,
then how would it be prestigious?
I'm just telling you, Joe, it's on the pedestal.
Let's make a hole-in-one.
Will Keys, his tee shot.
Do it, do it!
From the drop zone,
off of the ramp.
Got a shot at it.
Oh. Runs past.
Oh!
Making me nervous.
Alright. That was not bad.
I'll take it. Nice.
Will will take that all day long.
-I'm feeling good. -Let's kick some butts.
Alexandria stands up on the Rob Riggle drop zone.
Five diamond. "Five diamond"?
I mean, what do you think,
it's a Michelin-star restaurant or...?
Your words, not mine, but, yes.
Luxury resort? Yes.
It's a drop zone that just happens
to have your name attached to it.
It's pretty prestigious.
[ Laughs ]
Alexandria Bare.
Up and over.
Oh. Off of a bumper,
towards the pin.
Wow!
Oh, so close.
Aw!
What a shot.
That ran over the cup.
It did, didn't it?
Both of our competitors nearly put it in the hole.
Just missed it.
Alexandria and Will will close it out
from those two positions.
Let's do it, baby.
Will Keys.
This is for a 2.
Really well done by Will Keys.
That was a pure roll,
never in doubt.
Come on, Birdie Bare.
Alexandria has the red carpet perimeter rim
of this island hole against her.
Alright.
You know, when they opened the ropes just now,
I thought they were just making it easier
for her to throw herself back in the water.
This is gonna be challenging based on where she is.
She does not have much room there, Rob.
Very little.
Make some putts, kick some butts.
Go, go, g-- Oh, no, no.
[ Crowd groans ]
Yeah, let's go, baby!
Chill Will. Yeah!
How 'bout that?
And it's bye-bye, Birdie Bare.
Will Keys will be in the final pairing
and have a chance at The Golden Putter and the plaid jacket.
Speaking of Holeywood, do you like being on camera?
Uh, very, very nuanced question.
It is, but I want you to give it some thought. Very nuanced.
Okay. Can I think about it and get back to you?
Yeah. Send me an e-mail.
Okay, I thought about it. No.
Don't go anywhere.
The Holey Moley final round coming up when we return.
Tessitore: Welcome back to "Holey Moley"
and the final round.
It is a jacket decider. Yeah!
And you know what's at stake --
the plaid jacket,
The Golden Putter, and the big chance
at a quarter million dollars in the season finale.
Rob, you excited for the epic mini golf
we're about to see here?
Oh, this is gonna be fantastic.
Greatest day of my life.
And I-I have two kids.
[ Laughs ]
[ Cheers and applause ]
It is a big night, and it'll all be decided
on our biggest hole --
Big Foot Wedge.
Let's do this!
[ Growls ]
Tonight's finalists are ready.
Big Foot Wedge.
Will Keys, the 39-year-old from Memphis, Tennessee, Chill Will,
going up against Obie O'Brien,
the 35-year-old stand-up comedian.
This is the final pairing tonight,
here on Big Foot Wedge.
Obie: Come on, beat him.
Obie O'Brien, his tee shot.
Here it comes down the ramp.
Come on, come on.
Watch that bumper. If you hit the bumper,
you don't have as good of a chance.
Takes the bank.
This could be good.
Oh!
Obie O'Brien,
that retreats all the way back
against that green short wall.
[ Crowd chanting "Obie" ]
Obie O'Brien is on Big Foot's foot.
Look, he has to swing and then make it
onto the giant golf ball.
If he goes into the pit or the mat,
it's a stroke penalty.
Somehow, this actually looks like Obie's foot.
[ Laughs ]
You think this is what his foot would look like?
If he took his socks and shoe off,
I'm pretty sure that's what you would see.
Here he goes.
Can he land on the golf ball?
[ Crowd groans ]
That was an awkward dismount.
Knocked the wind out of you.
Wasn't long enough
and was off-center.
These are the type of details that athletes at this level
have to deal with.
Did you say athletes?
You don't look at Obie O'Brien
and it doesn't scream athlete?
He screams athlete's foot.
[ Laughs ]
[ Crowd chants "Will" ]
Will, Will, Will, Will!
Oh!
Will's working the crowd into a frenzy.
Hey, you got to be Chill Will to win when the pressure's on.
Hole-in-one, baby.
Will Keys will have his tee shot.
Get in the hole.
Good pace.
This ball has a lot of momentum.
Get a little kiss. There we go.
Get in the hole, baby.
Oh, this could be good, Joe.
Let's see how it comes off the bank.
No, he didn't get the curve there,
but he has a far better lie than Obie O'Brien.
Agh. Ah, my legs are not long enough.
Will Keys steps up now,
taking on the challenge of Big Foot Wedge.
Let's conquer Big Foot, baby.
There he goes.
♪♪
[ Crowd groans ]
Aw, man.
He's well off the mark.
What I'm noticing is if you look at the position of their feet,
foot on the right is often lower
because it's in one of the grooves
between two of the toes.
So when you go to jump,
now you're off to the right immediately.
We're seeing a very similar pattern,
so there's got to be something to it.
We're geniuses.
[ Laughs ]
This is a tight one.
With The Golden Putter
and the plaid jacket on the line,
we're gonna crown a champion on this hole.
Obie O'Brien for a 3.
[ Crowd shouting ]
[ Crowd groans ]
[ Groans ]
Oh, he was so close.
Obie O'Brien's gonna tap in for a 4.
There he did it.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Alright. Big Foot, big time.
It's okay if you miss.
Nah, that's not okay.
I'm not gonna miss it.
If Will can make this putt here on Big Foot Wedge,
he will have an opportunity for a quarter million dollars.
♪♪
[ Crowd shouting ]
Oh, and he does it.
Riggle: Chill Will!
[ Cheers and applause ]
Will Keys.
Let's go, baby. Let's go, Memphis.
He's got The Golden Putter,
he has the plaid jacket, and he is a champion.
Let's go, Memphis. Let's go.
[ Growls ]
Well, tonight's winner has got to be happy.
They're about to get the famed Holey Moley plaid jacket
from none other than Stephen Curry.
The champ is here. Congratulations.
Steph Cur--
The Great Value Steph Curry.
Like a kid meeting the real Santa Claus
at the mall, and this Stephen Curry
is every bit as real as...
a mall Santa.
The real deal.
Tessitore: We're gonna see you next time
right here on "Holey Moley."