1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,046
[bell rings]
VICTOR: Simon, I have big news.

2
00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:07,132
Mia and I are officially
in a relationship.

3
00:00:08,050 --> 00:00:10,677
♪ "I Rly Rly Like U" by Baby Bulldog ♪

4
00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:13,680
‐ ♪ Butterflies in my chest ♪

5
00:00:13,680 --> 00:00:15,974
[phone bloops, then buzzes]

6
00:00:16,892 --> 00:00:18,268
[laughs]

7
00:00:18,268 --> 00:00:20,312
♪ Been a while since I had a guest ♪

8
00:00:20,312 --> 00:00:22,731
♪ Now you're feelin' on me,
feelin' feelin' on me ♪

9
00:00:22,731 --> 00:00:24,650
[laughing]

10
00:00:24,650 --> 00:00:27,861
VICTOR: She's basically my favorite person
to hang out with.

11
00:00:27,861 --> 00:00:30,447
And my family loves her, too.

12
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,742
[all laughing]

13
00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:37,579
And I know what you're gonna ask me,
so I'll save you the trouble.

14
00:00:37,579 --> 00:00:40,749
The physical stuff is actually awesome.

15
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:43,377
Mia's lips are mad soft,

16
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:46,380
and she wears this lip gloss
that tastes like blue raspberry,

17
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,632
which is my favorite flavor of Gatorade.

18
00:00:48,632 --> 00:00:50,968
‐ ♪ I really really like you ♪

19
00:00:51,969 --> 00:00:53,303
‐ Not here.

20
00:00:54,137 --> 00:00:56,557
There's too many people.
Don't want to rub it in their faces.

21
00:00:57,432 --> 00:00:58,934
[indistinct chatter]

22
00:01:00,561 --> 00:01:04,147
Yeah, Simon. Everything's great.
I don't know what I was so scared of.

23
00:01:04,565 --> 00:01:06,483
♪ upbeat music playing ♪

24
00:01:06,483 --> 00:01:09,945
♪ Yeah
Waiting for the time ♪

25
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,365
♪ Waiting for the place ♪

26
00:01:13,365 --> 00:01:15,701
♪ And I, I, I ♪

27
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:17,703
♪ I, I need ♪

28
00:01:17,703 --> 00:01:20,247
♪ Somebody to tell me
it'll be all right ♪

29
00:01:20,247 --> 00:01:23,166
♪ Somebody to tell me
it'll be just fine ♪

30
00:01:23,166 --> 00:01:26,628
♪ If someone has been there before,
say it right now ♪

31
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:28,589
♪ 'Cause I just need to hear it ♪

32
00:01:31,258 --> 00:01:34,553
♪

33
00:01:39,183 --> 00:01:40,684
MS. THOMAS:
The vagina.

34
00:01:41,977 --> 00:01:43,896
Some of you have them.

35
00:01:43,896 --> 00:01:45,814
Some of you have seen them,

36
00:01:45,814 --> 00:01:48,108
and some of you have only heard stories.

37
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,194
‐ You know, I have that same poster
in my bedroom.

38
00:01:50,194 --> 00:01:51,653
[class laughing softly]

39
00:01:51,653 --> 00:01:55,741
‐ Don't test me today, Andrew. Okay?
I'm intermittent fasting.

40
00:01:55,741 --> 00:01:59,036
Uh, everybody, take a worksheet.
Fill out all the parts.

41
00:01:59,036 --> 00:02:03,540
And, uh, don't ask me how to spell
Fallopian tube, because I don't know.

42
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:08,754
‐ I guess you and Victor are probably
doing a lot of sex ed these days, right?

43
00:02:08,754 --> 00:02:10,422
‐ Could you grow up, Andrew?

44
00:02:11,215 --> 00:02:12,674
‐ Sorry.

45
00:02:12,674 --> 00:02:15,886
Just be over here. Working on my vagina.

46
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:19,556
LAKE: What was that?

47
00:02:19,556 --> 00:02:21,016
‐ What do you mean?

48
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,561
Okay, fine.

49
00:02:24,561 --> 00:02:29,441
Uh, it's just that Victor
likes to take things slow.

50
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:33,362
‐ Hmm.
‐ Like, really, really slow.

51
00:02:33,362 --> 00:02:35,656
‐ Wait, how far have you guys gone?
‐ We've kissed.

52
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:37,824
‐ With tongue?
‐ Of course.

53
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:42,412
Okay. Our tongues have definitely...
grazed.

54
00:02:43,580 --> 00:02:45,499
‐ Hmm. Is he a virgin?

55
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:47,376
‐ I don't know. Probably.

56
00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:49,461
‐ But you're ready.
‐ I think so.

57
00:02:49,461 --> 00:02:53,465
I definitely want to take things
to the next level. Or any level.

58
00:02:53,465 --> 00:02:56,176
We've kind of been stuck on the ground.

59
00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:58,846
God, and I really like him.
‐ Mm.

60
00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:01,598
Two virgins about to
make passionate love.

61
00:03:01,598 --> 00:03:03,058
It's like a Shakespeare movie.

62
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:06,311
Okay, so the first thing
you need to do is just

63
00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:08,063
send him a sexy message or two.

64
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:10,691
I'm just saying, sometimes you have to

65
00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:13,610
show a guy that you're open
to their advances.

66
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,571
[with French accent]
Par example...

67
00:03:17,155 --> 00:03:19,199
‐ You posted that about yourself?

68
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:22,160
‐ Yeah, but under my pseudonym:
"Jackie St. Boon."

69
00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:24,288
‐ Okay, isn't that a little desperate?

70
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:27,749
‐ I'm just throwing some chum in the water
and waiting for the sharks to come.

71
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:30,335
Sorry, I just saw Jaws.

72
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:32,754
It's not as good at 47 Meters Down,
but it's solid.

73
00:03:36,717 --> 00:03:39,219
‐ "Was I lovable once? Really?

74
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,471
"Was I ever lovable?

75
00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,348
"I'm asking if you found me...

76
00:03:43,348 --> 00:03:45,726
"lovable at one stage?
[phone vibrates]

77
00:03:45,726 --> 00:03:48,937
"Well, I admit it is a teaser and you've
done more than your bit already

78
00:03:48,937 --> 00:03:50,272
for the time being, so just..."
‐ What on Earth?

79
00:03:50,272 --> 00:03:52,274
‐ I have no idea.

80
00:03:52,274 --> 00:03:55,235
I think her husband was named Willy
or something and trapped her in a box.

81
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:57,446
‐ No, not the monologue. Mia.

82
00:03:57,446 --> 00:03:58,947
WENDY:
"Just to know that you are there..."

83
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,658
‐ "I miss your muscular legs."

84
00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:04,077
[laughing]
Holy cow, she wants you bad.

85
00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,454
TEACHER:
Shh!

86
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:08,081
[monologue continues]

87
00:04:08,081 --> 00:04:09,750
‐ What should I write back?

88
00:04:09,750 --> 00:04:12,211
‐ I don't know.
Nobody's ever missed my legs before.

89
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,965
[phone buzzing]

90
00:04:17,716 --> 00:04:19,968
‐ He thumbsed‐up my text.

91
00:04:20,719 --> 00:04:22,596
‐ Wait. That's what you wrote?

92
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:24,723
Let Mama Lake take it from here.

93
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:27,518
‐ Lake, come on.
‐ Do not rush me. I am an artist.

94
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:29,019
[Mia sighs heavily]

95
00:04:29,853 --> 00:04:31,271
[tapping on phone]

96
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:32,940
[exhales]

97
00:04:33,690 --> 00:04:36,693
[phone bloops]
There. Done. You're welcome.

98
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:39,279
‐ Lake!

99
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,949
[phone vibrates]
WENDY: "But something tells me, do not..."

100
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:43,325
‐ Whoa!

101
00:04:43,325 --> 00:04:46,537
Looks like somebody's gonna be
dancing the midnight macarena.

102
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:50,249
‐ I don't think so.
I think she just invited me to her house

103
00:04:50,249 --> 00:04:51,667
with a whole bunch of emojis?

104
00:04:51,667 --> 00:04:54,628
‐ Either she's gonna be making you
eggplant Parmesan,

105
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:56,338
or you're getting lucky this Friday.

106
00:04:57,089 --> 00:05:00,217
WENDY:
"And do not overdo the bag..."

107
00:05:05,806 --> 00:05:07,933
♪ soft music playing ♪

108
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:10,894
‐ Latte art.

109
00:05:12,104 --> 00:05:13,522
Remind you of anyone?

110
00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,026
‐ Steve Harvey?

111
00:05:18,026 --> 00:05:19,611
‐ It's Derek.

112
00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:22,656
‐ Oh! Yeah, I see it now.

113
00:05:25,868 --> 00:05:27,870
‐ Friday is our one year anniversary.

114
00:05:27,870 --> 00:05:30,747
We're supposed to go see
his friend's band downtown, but...

115
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,875
I want to do something romantic for him.

116
00:05:32,875 --> 00:05:34,751
‐ Where'd you go for your first date?

117
00:05:34,751 --> 00:05:38,297
‐ We got spaghetti and meatballs
at this corny Italian place.

118
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:39,590
The food was good,

119
00:05:39,590 --> 00:05:42,968
but it ended up getting shut down
by the health department.

120
00:05:42,968 --> 00:05:46,930
God, I love meatballs.
So ugly. So delicious.

121
00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,182
[laughs]

122
00:05:49,349 --> 00:05:50,517
‐ Okay.

123
00:05:51,768 --> 00:05:54,229
Maybe, I mean, this is a little cheesy,

124
00:05:54,229 --> 00:05:58,400
but you could recreate your first date.

125
00:05:58,400 --> 00:05:59,985
You could have your own
Italian restaurant,

126
00:05:59,985 --> 00:06:02,112
but just you and Derek.

127
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,906
‐ I could do it here after we close.

128
00:06:03,906 --> 00:06:07,492
Light some candles,
put on some Italian accordion music.

129
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:09,620
Yeah.

130
00:06:09,620 --> 00:06:12,080
Wow, Victor. Who knew you were
such a romantic?

131
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,417
Mia is a lucky lady.

132
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,128
‐ Yeah. She's the luckiest.

133
00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:21,798
‐ Okay, why'd you just do your
uncomfortable scrunch face

134
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,091
when you said that?

135
00:06:23,467 --> 00:06:25,260
‐ Okay, I'm hanging out
with Mia on Friday.

136
00:06:25,260 --> 00:06:26,512
‐ You don't sound excited.

137
00:06:27,012 --> 00:06:29,348
‐ I think Mia wants to take things
to the next level,

138
00:06:29,348 --> 00:06:31,058
and I'm... you know.

139
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,353
‐ Oh.

140
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,771
You're a virgin.

141
00:06:36,647 --> 00:06:38,565
That's fine. You've just gotta relax.

142
00:06:38,565 --> 00:06:41,443
If I can have sex with girls,
anybody can.

143
00:06:41,443 --> 00:06:43,737
‐ Wait, you‐‐ But you're...

144
00:06:44,363 --> 00:06:45,906
‐ Gay?

145
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:47,324
I know.

146
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:49,493
This was back when I was
figuring things out.

147
00:06:49,493 --> 00:06:52,454
Turns out human sexuality
is less of a straight line,

148
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:55,249
and more of a Cirque du Soleil show.

149
00:06:55,249 --> 00:06:57,167
Long, confusing,

150
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,253
and full of sexy clowns.

151
00:06:59,628 --> 00:07:00,838
‐ Yep.

152
00:07:04,216 --> 00:07:05,717
[Mia sighs]

153
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:09,680
‐ Ooh, girl, you are serving me up
some sexy Professor McGonagall realness,

154
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:11,139
and I am here for it.

155
00:07:11,807 --> 00:07:14,059
‐ You mean I look like Maggie Smith?

156
00:07:14,059 --> 00:07:15,811
[groans] Changing.

157
00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:19,857
‐ What? No! It's perfect!
You look all hot and witchy.

158
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:24,278
‐ Hmm. Why does my room
smell like sunscreen?

159
00:07:24,278 --> 00:07:26,947
‐ Uh, that is a scented candle.

160
00:07:26,947 --> 00:07:28,949
Feuille de Lavande by Diptyque.

161
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:32,494
Plus, I blasted your throw cushions
with body spray just for good measure.

162
00:07:32,494 --> 00:07:33,495
‐ Hmm.

163
00:07:35,289 --> 00:07:37,875
‐ You know, it's totally okay
to be nervous.

164
00:07:37,875 --> 00:07:40,669
I mean, tonight's your first time.
That's a really big deal.

165
00:07:43,714 --> 00:07:45,757
I mean, it is your first time, right?

166
00:07:46,758 --> 00:07:50,053
[scoffs] Oh, my God.
I am your best friend.

167
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,055
Why didn't you tell me?
You tell me everything.

168
00:07:52,055 --> 00:07:54,183
‐ Because it was a one‐time thing,

169
00:07:54,183 --> 00:07:56,476
and it was too soon,

170
00:07:56,476 --> 00:07:59,897
and awkward, and a total mistake.

171
00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:02,983
Hmm. Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

172
00:08:02,983 --> 00:08:05,861
‐ It's fine. I get it.

173
00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:07,571
But who was it?

174
00:08:08,739 --> 00:08:12,117
‐ Just some random other counselor
at camp.

175
00:08:12,117 --> 00:08:16,955
‐ Mm. Wow. Well, the most exciting thing
that happened to me at summer camp

176
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:19,958
was when I accidentally bumped
a beehive with my selfie stick.

177
00:08:19,958 --> 00:08:23,921
But then they evacuated us
to the Marriott. Mm, thank you, bees.

178
00:08:23,921 --> 00:08:25,464
[laughs]

179
00:08:25,464 --> 00:08:27,799
♪

180
00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,096
[phone beeps]

181
00:08:43,732 --> 00:08:44,983
[door slams]

182
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:50,113
‐ Well, don't you look like a man
whose life's about to be forever changed

183
00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:51,949
by the touch of a good woman.

184
00:08:51,949 --> 00:08:53,742
‐ Guess so. [chuckles]

185
00:08:53,742 --> 00:08:55,077
What's that?

186
00:08:55,077 --> 00:08:56,787
‐ You've never played "Settlers of Catan"?

187
00:08:56,787 --> 00:08:59,748
Oh, it's awesome. Me and my mom
throw down every Friday night.

188
00:08:59,748 --> 00:09:01,458
‐ Sounds like fun.
‐ It is.

189
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,378
‐ And not filled with a
crippling pressure to perform.

190
00:09:04,378 --> 00:09:06,713
‐ Hey. Good luck tonight, buddy.

191
00:09:06,713 --> 00:09:08,215
You're gonna do great.
‐ Thanks.

192
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:16,223
Hey, Felix. Uh, wait up.

193
00:09:18,267 --> 00:09:21,395
‐ [sighs] Okay, relax. You look amazing.

194
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,105
And if Victor doesn't hook up with you,

195
00:09:23,105 --> 00:09:24,898
I will.
[doorbell rings]

196
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:28,026
‐ Yeah, I really wish you'd
stop offering that. [chuckles]

197
00:09:28,026 --> 00:09:29,361
[groans]

198
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:30,821
[door opens]

199
00:09:32,531 --> 00:09:33,866
[door closes]

200
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,580
‐ Twist. And not the cool
M. Night Shyamalan kind.

201
00:09:40,372 --> 00:09:41,915
[imitates bugle call]

202
00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,001
FELIX:
Who's ready to take a journey

203
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:47,004
to the island of Catan?

204
00:09:54,511 --> 00:09:56,889
DEREK: Okay, but just,
whatever is it, make it quick,

205
00:09:56,889 --> 00:09:58,140
'cause I don't want
to be late to the show.

206
00:09:58,140 --> 00:10:00,225
‐ Shh. Just stop talking, okay?

207
00:10:00,225 --> 00:10:02,686
‐ Okay.
‐ All right. Keep your eyes closed.

208
00:10:04,062 --> 00:10:05,522
‐ Okay.

209
00:10:05,522 --> 00:10:08,567
Giving me major
serial killer vibes right now.

210
00:10:09,568 --> 00:10:11,445
‐ Okay. You can open.

211
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:15,741
Welcome to "Trattoria di Benji."

212
00:10:15,741 --> 00:10:18,577
♪ soft accordion music playing ♪

213
00:10:18,577 --> 00:10:19,828
‐ Whoa.

214
00:10:22,039 --> 00:10:23,582
‐ And if you want to get a lot of points,

215
00:10:23,582 --> 00:10:25,709
you need to make sure to
upgrade your settlements,

216
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:28,253
your cities, and your roads.

217
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,547
All right. So, next...

218
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:31,673
‐ Hey.

219
00:10:31,673 --> 00:10:32,883
FELIX: This is something
a little unorthodox...

220
00:10:32,883 --> 00:10:34,551
‐ I'm sorry about this.

221
00:10:34,551 --> 00:10:36,220
I tried to shake him,
but he didn't get the hint.

222
00:10:38,055 --> 00:10:39,806
You look nice.

223
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,393
FELIX: So each type of terrain
produces a different resource.

224
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:45,354
So forests make lumber,

225
00:10:45,354 --> 00:10:50,025
um, fields make grain,
and of course, mountains, they make...

226
00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:53,111
...ore.

227
00:10:53,111 --> 00:10:54,446
If I...

228
00:10:54,446 --> 00:10:57,241
‐ Okay, this is the most bored
I have ever been.

229
00:10:57,241 --> 00:11:00,494
And I'm including that time you tricked me
into listening to a podcast.

230
00:11:00,494 --> 00:11:03,163
‐ That would make it
my tenth victory point,

231
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:06,542
and crown me King of Catan.

232
00:11:08,418 --> 00:11:09,795
[gulping]

233
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:11,338
‐ Ah. All right.
[claps, rubs hands]

234
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:12,714
Who's ready to start playing?

235
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,259
‐ Wait, we haven't started?

236
00:11:15,259 --> 00:11:18,637
What have we been doing
for the last 45 minutes?

237
00:11:19,471 --> 00:11:20,806
‐ A tutorial.

238
00:11:21,557 --> 00:11:23,100
[screams]

239
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,228
‐ Okay. Uh, you guys start without me.

240
00:11:26,228 --> 00:11:27,437
‐ I'll come with.

241
00:11:27,437 --> 00:11:29,815
♪

242
00:11:31,859 --> 00:11:35,571
‐ Operation No Hanky‐Panky
seems to be going pretty well,

243
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:37,072
don't you say?
‐ Yeah.

244
00:11:37,072 --> 00:11:39,324
Hey, look, Felix,
I appreciate you doing this,

245
00:11:39,324 --> 00:11:42,244
but Mia's definitely pissed.

246
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,121
‐ So? Let her be pissed.

247
00:11:44,121 --> 00:11:46,582
All right? If you're not ready,
you're not ready.

248
00:11:46,582 --> 00:11:48,333
Your body, your choice.

249
00:11:49,751 --> 00:11:52,838
‐ Yeah, I, I think I'm gonna go
and check on Mia.

250
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:55,299
‐ All right. But don't take too long.

251
00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:58,343
Don't know if I can trust myself
around all these wheat cards.

252
00:11:58,343 --> 00:11:59,386
‐ Okay.

253
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,806
♪ Italian music playing ♪

254
00:12:02,806 --> 00:12:04,766
‐ So, do you like it?

255
00:12:05,893 --> 00:12:08,812
Spaghetti and meatballs,
like we had on our first date. Remember?

256
00:12:08,812 --> 00:12:11,315
‐ Mm. Mm‐hmm. It's great.

257
00:12:11,315 --> 00:12:13,817
But shouldn't we head to the show soon?

258
00:12:13,817 --> 00:12:16,320
The opener are these two blind sisters

259
00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:20,073
who do bluegrass covers of TLC songs.
I mean, it's supposed to be awesome.

260
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:21,783
‐ Oh, yeah?
‐ Yeah.

261
00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:25,954
‐ Sounds really cool, but I thought maybe
we could skip the show tonight.

262
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:29,416
You know, since it's our first anniversary
and everything.

263
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:31,835
‐ [laughs] Anniversary?

264
00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:33,295
What, are we straight people now?

265
00:12:37,090 --> 00:12:39,510
Oh. Sorry.

266
00:12:40,135 --> 00:12:41,595
I didn't mean, like...

267
00:12:42,304 --> 00:12:44,765
I just don't really know if
I believe in all that stuff.

268
00:12:45,432 --> 00:12:47,726
‐ What stuff? Anniversaries?

269
00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:50,687
‐ Stuff that society tells us to want
just 'cause straight people do.

270
00:12:51,605 --> 00:12:53,982
Like, one of the best things
about being gay is that

271
00:12:53,982 --> 00:12:56,276
we don't have to conform to that
hetero‐normative,

272
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:58,820
rom‐com bullshit that is dreamt up
by corporations

273
00:12:58,820 --> 00:13:00,864
to help sell greeting cards to morons.

274
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:03,242
[exhales]

275
00:13:04,201 --> 00:13:05,536
‐ Well...

276
00:13:06,703 --> 00:13:08,330
...guess I'm one of those morons.

277
00:13:10,332 --> 00:13:11,542
‐ Hey.

278
00:13:12,626 --> 00:13:14,169
I didn't mean...

279
00:13:16,171 --> 00:13:19,091
♪ music continues playing ♪

280
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:23,929
I'm sorry.
‐ I‐‐

281
00:13:23,929 --> 00:13:28,600
‐ I'm a dick, and these meatballs
are really great.

282
00:13:30,060 --> 00:13:31,770
‐ Yeah?
‐ Yeah.

283
00:13:31,770 --> 00:13:33,522
[phone chimes]

284
00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:35,649
Sorry.

285
00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:40,112
Hey, do you think it would be cool
if we caught the end of the show?

286
00:13:41,613 --> 00:13:44,741
‐ You know what? Yeah, you go ahead.
I'll meet you there.

287
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,410
I gotta clean up first.

288
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:48,829
‐ Okay.

289
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:56,879
Hey. [kisses] You're the best.

290
00:13:56,879 --> 00:13:58,380
‐ Have a good time.
‐ Thank you.

291
00:14:00,716 --> 00:14:02,885
Hey, Ty, I'm on my way.
[door opens]

292
00:14:02,885 --> 00:14:04,386
[door closes]

293
00:14:05,304 --> 00:14:07,556
♪ music continues playing ♪

294
00:14:09,266 --> 00:14:12,311
‐ Hey. Um... where's Mia?

295
00:14:12,311 --> 00:14:14,980
‐ In her bedroom. Being furious.

296
00:14:16,940 --> 00:14:20,444
She planned this whole special night
for the two of you.

297
00:14:20,444 --> 00:14:23,363
And then you brought your weird friend
and screwed it all up.

298
00:14:23,947 --> 00:14:26,575
I just don't get it. Do you not like her?

299
00:14:26,575 --> 00:14:29,077
Is there someone else? Are you gay?
What is it?

300
00:14:30,621 --> 00:14:32,456
‐ I do like her.

301
00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:35,042
‐ 'Kay. Well then, start acting like it.

302
00:14:35,042 --> 00:14:38,420
Because this crap that
you're pulling here tonight,

303
00:14:38,420 --> 00:14:40,172
it's just cruel.

304
00:14:40,172 --> 00:14:43,258
♪

305
00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:53,101
‐ Oh, hey. I was about to
come back downstairs‐‐

306
00:14:53,894 --> 00:14:57,481
♪

307
00:15:07,783 --> 00:15:10,452
[Lake sighs]
‐ Wanna watch Planet Earth with me?

308
00:15:10,452 --> 00:15:13,121
‐ Nope. I already ordered my Lyft.

309
00:15:13,121 --> 00:15:16,208
Elang should be here in nine minutes.

310
00:15:17,084 --> 00:15:19,127
You should probably go, too.

311
00:15:19,127 --> 00:15:22,047
I don't think they'll be down
for quite some time.

312
00:15:24,132 --> 00:15:25,551
What the hell?

313
00:15:25,551 --> 00:15:28,345
‐ What? What happened? Is Elang okay?
‐ No. Look.

314
00:15:29,555 --> 00:15:32,808
‐ You, uh, you look amazing.

315
00:15:32,808 --> 00:15:35,185
‐ No, not the photo, idiot. The comments.

316
00:15:35,185 --> 00:15:37,896
They called me a six. A six!

317
00:15:37,896 --> 00:15:40,607
[scoffs] I am at least a low nine.

318
00:15:42,568 --> 00:15:44,319
Well, you're a boy.

319
00:15:45,279 --> 00:15:47,197
Tell me the truth.

320
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:49,366
Mm. What's my number?

321
00:15:50,909 --> 00:15:54,705
‐ N‐‐ No. No way. I, I can't do that.

322
00:15:54,705 --> 00:15:55,873
I‐‐

323
00:15:55,873 --> 00:15:58,458
‐ Okay, stop with the chivalry
and just give me a number,

324
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:01,545
and do not tell me I'm a 10,
because I totally won't believe you.

325
00:16:03,547 --> 00:16:05,174
‐ I...

326
00:16:05,174 --> 00:16:09,553
I think you deserve a guy who...

327
00:16:09,553 --> 00:16:13,056
who doesn't reduce you to a number.

328
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:14,391
[sighs]

329
00:16:14,975 --> 00:16:16,935
‐ Somebody like, um...

330
00:16:17,936 --> 00:16:19,396
Like him.

331
00:16:19,396 --> 00:16:22,065
NARRATOR:
Approximately 1/16th the size...

332
00:16:22,065 --> 00:16:23,775
‐ I deserve to date a nub?

333
00:16:24,526 --> 00:16:27,404
‐ Okay, so he's not Brad Pitt.

334
00:16:27,404 --> 00:16:29,239
And technically he doesn't have any eyes.

335
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:32,326
But angler fish are total romantics.

336
00:16:32,326 --> 00:16:35,454
That fish only cares about one thing
in the entire world.

337
00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:38,582
Her.

338
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:43,003
He spends most of his life
sniffing around the ocean

339
00:16:43,003 --> 00:16:46,048
looking for his mate,
and when he finally finds her,

340
00:16:46,048 --> 00:16:47,341
you know what he does?

341
00:16:48,300 --> 00:16:50,552
‐ Tells her a long, boring story?

342
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:53,180
‐ He bites her,

343
00:16:53,180 --> 00:16:56,058
and releases this enzyme in his saliva

344
00:16:56,058 --> 00:16:59,353
that fuses them together like superglue.

345
00:16:59,353 --> 00:17:01,730
Then he dies, and becomes
a part of her body,

346
00:17:01,730 --> 00:17:06,318
and she swims away,
never thinking about him again, but...

347
00:17:06,318 --> 00:17:07,528
he doesn't mind.

348
00:17:08,445 --> 00:17:11,698
Because he got what he always wanted.

349
00:17:12,449 --> 00:17:14,785
To be with her. Forever.

350
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:19,456
That's what you deserve, Lake.

351
00:17:19,456 --> 00:17:21,875
A guy who would sacrifice everything,

352
00:17:21,875 --> 00:17:26,463
because he knows that the only thing
that matters in this entire world...

353
00:17:28,048 --> 00:17:29,383
...is you.

354
00:17:33,303 --> 00:17:36,890
‐ You are so weird.

355
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:37,891
[Felix exhales]

356
00:17:41,478 --> 00:17:44,690
‐ Um, do you wanna, um, sit down?

357
00:17:44,690 --> 00:17:47,109
This hard wall is starting
to hurt my head. [chuckles]

358
00:17:48,026 --> 00:17:50,696
‐ Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure. Uh...

359
00:17:57,494 --> 00:17:59,621
I'm sorry. I just, I just need a minute.

360
00:18:00,831 --> 00:18:02,457
[door shuts]
‐ Okay.

361
00:18:05,627 --> 00:18:06,962
[exhales]

362
00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:14,553
[sniffs]

363
00:18:15,220 --> 00:18:16,680
[sighs heavily]

364
00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:20,601
‐ Hey. Sorry, I was just‐‐

365
00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:22,769
‐ Okay, what's going on with you?

366
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:27,191
Is it me? Am I not attractive to you,
or whatever?

367
00:18:28,233 --> 00:18:30,110
‐ No, no. Mia...

368
00:18:33,906 --> 00:18:36,575
Look, you're beautiful.

369
00:18:37,743 --> 00:18:41,872
You're like, one of the prettiest girls
I've ever seen.

370
00:18:41,872 --> 00:18:44,041
‐ Then what is it?

371
00:18:44,041 --> 00:18:45,292
What's wrong?

372
00:18:45,959 --> 00:18:47,794
‐ Truth is...

373
00:18:51,548 --> 00:18:52,841
I'm...

374
00:18:54,510 --> 00:18:56,220
...not ready.

375
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:03,977
I don't know. Maybe out here,
sex isn't, like, a big deal, but...

376
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:07,523
...back where I'm from,

377
00:19:07,523 --> 00:19:10,484
we're more old‐fashioned.

378
00:19:13,612 --> 00:19:15,739
‐ Victor, it's fine.

379
00:19:17,950 --> 00:19:20,369
Why didn't you just tell me?

380
00:19:22,788 --> 00:19:26,834
‐ I didn't want you to think
I was a loser.

381
00:19:29,127 --> 00:19:31,296
‐ I would never think you're a loser.

382
00:19:33,382 --> 00:19:37,344
We can totally go slow.

383
00:19:45,227 --> 00:19:48,021
‐ It's getting pretty late.
I should probably go.

384
00:19:49,982 --> 00:19:50,983
‐ Okay.

385
00:19:55,404 --> 00:19:57,030
Uh, Victor?

386
00:19:58,490 --> 00:20:00,325
There's nothing else, right?

387
00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:03,537
‐ No.

388
00:20:16,675 --> 00:20:18,802
VICTOR:
Dear Simon,

389
00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:21,930
I really do like Mia,

390
00:20:21,930 --> 00:20:26,018
but what if that isn't enough?

391
00:20:26,602 --> 00:20:29,146
[TV playing indistinctly]

392
00:20:34,776 --> 00:20:36,153
‐ [whispers]
Okay.

393
00:20:38,238 --> 00:20:40,157
‐ How'd you get so good at this?
‐ YouTube.

394
00:20:40,157 --> 00:20:41,283
‐ Oh.

395
00:20:43,869 --> 00:20:45,829
No. No hickeys.

396
00:20:45,829 --> 00:20:48,665
No one can know about this.
This has to stay our little secret.

397
00:20:48,665 --> 00:20:52,294
‐ Well, three can keep a secret
if two of them are dead.

398
00:20:52,294 --> 00:20:53,462
‐ What?

399
00:20:53,462 --> 00:20:56,381
‐ Sorry. Benjamin Franklin quote.
I, I won't tell anyone.

400
00:20:56,381 --> 00:20:57,799
‐ Yeah. No more talking.
‐ Okay.

401
00:20:57,799 --> 00:20:59,301
‐ Okay.
‐ Uh‐huh.

402
00:21:00,344 --> 00:21:02,179
[phone dings]

403
00:21:03,514 --> 00:21:07,643
SIMON: Hey, Victor.
I know you really like Mia,

404
00:21:07,643 --> 00:21:10,354
and you've been trying to
figure out if you're attracted to her.

405
00:21:11,021 --> 00:21:14,066
It sounds like tonight,
you realized that you're not,

406
00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:15,817
and that's okay.

407
00:21:17,528 --> 00:21:21,156
But maybe it's time for you to really
figure out what you want.

408
00:21:22,157 --> 00:21:23,909
Before someone gets hurt.

409
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:29,748
♪

410
00:21:34,670 --> 00:21:36,004
[door opens]

411
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,468
‐ What are you doing here?

412
00:21:42,094 --> 00:21:43,887
‐ I could ask you the same thing.

413
00:21:46,098 --> 00:21:48,725
How did "Trattoria di Benji" go?

414
00:21:49,810 --> 00:21:51,019
‐ Fine.

415
00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:55,190
So, how was your big date?

416
00:21:57,693 --> 00:21:59,152
‐ Not much to tell.

417
00:22:03,365 --> 00:22:05,450
Working on your latte art?
‐ Yep.

418
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:08,662
I think I might actually be
getting better.

419
00:22:08,662 --> 00:22:10,706
‐ Really?
‐ Mm‐hmm.

420
00:22:10,706 --> 00:22:12,457
‐ You wanna try?

421
00:22:12,457 --> 00:22:15,919
‐ Yeah.
‐ The trick is to pour quickly.

422
00:22:16,420 --> 00:22:17,880
What do you want to make?

423
00:22:18,714 --> 00:22:20,674
‐ How about...

424
00:22:22,050 --> 00:22:23,760
...a meatball?

425
00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:27,055
So ugly, but so delicious.
[both laugh softly]

426
00:22:28,765 --> 00:22:30,017
Okay.

427
00:22:31,518 --> 00:22:33,937
‐ All right. Start there,
and then pour it in the center.

428
00:22:35,355 --> 00:22:37,149
That's it. There you go.

429
00:22:37,566 --> 00:22:40,360
♪ "Nostalgic" by Arizona ♪

430
00:22:41,445 --> 00:22:44,448
Yep. You got it.
That looks like a meatball to me.

431
00:22:45,032 --> 00:22:47,326
[indistinct chatter]

432
00:22:48,911 --> 00:22:51,538
‐ ♪ Strangely you and I ♪

433
00:22:51,538 --> 00:22:53,749
♪ Cross the finish line ♪

434
00:22:53,749 --> 00:22:57,377
♪ But big hearts move slow,
get left behind ♪

435
00:22:57,377 --> 00:23:01,131
♪ Lying next to someone else, oh ♪

436
00:23:01,131 --> 00:23:06,220
♪ But sometimes I still remember
what you said and how it felt ♪

437
00:23:06,220 --> 00:23:09,640
♪ Okay fine maybe I'm just
a little nostalgic ♪

438
00:23:10,933 --> 00:23:14,144
♪ 'Cause the memories are
flooding my mind, baby I can't stop it ♪

439
00:23:15,896 --> 00:23:18,857
♪ I know I said I wouldn't call
but I'm breaking my promise ♪

440
00:23:20,484 --> 00:23:23,737
♪ 'Cause the memories are
flooding my mind, baby I can't stop it ♪

441
00:23:24,404 --> 00:23:26,615
♪ Oh I can't stop it ♪

442
00:23:26,615 --> 00:23:29,076
♪ Oh oh, oh oh ♪

443
00:23:31,370 --> 00:23:34,248
♪ Oh oh, oh oh ♪

444
00:23:34,248 --> 00:23:36,041
♪ Oh I can't stop it ♪

445
00:23:36,041 --> 00:23:39,837
♪ Oh oh, oh oh ♪

446
00:23:39,837 --> 00:23:43,131
♪ Okay, fine, maybe
I'm just a little nostalgic ♪

447
00:23:43,131 --> 00:23:45,217
♪ Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh ♪

448
00:23:45,217 --> 00:23:47,719
♪ Cause the memories are flooding my mind
and I can't stop it ♪

449
00:23:49,555 --> 00:23:52,724
♪ Oh oh, oh oh, I know
I said I wouldn't call
but I broke my promise ♪

450
00:23:53,684 --> 00:23:55,686
♪ I can't stop ♪

451
00:23:55,686 --> 00:23:57,271
♪ Oh I can't... ♪