1 00:00:38,840 --> 00:00:41,560 The Musk approaching New York. Dubrovnik originating. 2 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:50,560 Musk from Dubrovnik now arriving at Pentaverate HQ. 3 00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,400 So Alice Cooper turns to the cop and says, "You think you've got problems." 4 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:19,920 "I just took a shit on a turtle." 5 00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:23,320 Turtle! He's not happy with that. 6 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,720 -I don't like it. I love it. -Hut! 7 00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:26,640 Oh! 8 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:29,920 Ah, there he is! 9 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:34,920 There's our man. 10 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,880 -Yes! 11 00:01:36,960 --> 00:01:39,240 Welcome, Professor Clark. Be seated. 12 00:01:39,320 --> 00:01:42,160 Now, y'all know I'm gonna expect this every day, right? 13 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,520 -Good morning, men. -Good morning, Patty. 14 00:01:46,600 --> 00:01:47,480 Good morning, Patty. 15 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:51,680 -Patty, are you wearing open-toed sandals? 16 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:54,600 My eyes are up here, Mr. Baldwin. 17 00:01:54,680 --> 00:01:57,400 All right, listen up, Pentaverate Five. 18 00:01:57,480 --> 00:01:59,360 We've got a lot of work to do today. 19 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:01,880 The Meadows is in three days. 20 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,840 -What is it? -The Meadows. 21 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:05,760 -MENTOR! -Jesus! 22 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,560 Every year, the Pentaverate meets with world leaders in Switzerland 23 00:02:10,640 --> 00:02:13,120 at an event known as The Meadows. 24 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,920 The Meadows is part celebration of their achievements, 25 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,520 part announcing what impending global catastrophe 26 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:21,880 the Pentaverate is going to tackle next. 27 00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,360 Kind of like Davos, 28 00:02:23,440 --> 00:02:26,960 except it's secret and there's an orgy. 29 00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:31,960 Now Professor Clark is here to help us resume the work 30 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,200 of our late colleague Jason Eccleston, 31 00:02:35,280 --> 00:02:36,760 but first… 32 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,520 -My man. -…I have a few announcements. 33 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:41,680 The main chamber bathroom is officially out of order, 34 00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:44,800 so number ones only. 35 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:47,040 Yes, I'm looking at you, Mishu. 36 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,800 What? I did only number ones. 37 00:02:49,880 --> 00:02:51,960 That's a lie, Mishu, and you know it. 38 00:02:52,040 --> 00:02:53,920 Someone dropped a deuce in there. 39 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,320 Yes, but in Russia, 40 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,320 number one is poo-poo, 41 00:02:58,400 --> 00:02:59,960 and number two is pee-pee. 42 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,880 Pee-pee is subordinate to poo-poo. 43 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,880 Look it up! Wikipedia. What? 44 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:08,040 I did number ones! 45 00:03:08,120 --> 00:03:09,600 Thanks, Mishu. I'll keep that in mind 46 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:11,560 the next time I take a dump in the Kremlin. 47 00:03:13,560 --> 00:03:14,400 Toodles. 48 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:16,720 So this is what we do here? 49 00:03:17,640 --> 00:03:18,520 This is what we do? 50 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,760 Tell you what, why don't you just try and sit there 51 00:03:20,840 --> 00:03:22,720 and be stupid new guy for a while? 52 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,480 -Stupid new guy? -Strewth. 53 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:28,520 Oh, I'm sorry. I… I couldn't hear you over all of my advanced degrees. 54 00:03:28,600 --> 00:03:30,240 Advanced degrees. 55 00:03:30,320 --> 00:03:31,600 Here, they do not "cunt." 56 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:33,800 -Come again? -They don't "cunt" here. 57 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:35,880 He's saying "count." He's Russian. 58 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,120 Yes, one, two, three. I'm "cunting." 59 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:39,240 -What? 60 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:41,040 That's just nasty. You nasty. 61 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:42,320 I put curse on you. 62 00:03:51,720 --> 00:03:54,200 -I'm sorry. Who… who is this? 63 00:03:55,880 --> 00:04:01,160 I… am the Maester of Dubrovnik. 64 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,080 You the Maester of Dubrovnik? Oh, that solves everything. 65 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,080 The Maester? 66 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:13,320 I'm here to investigate the death of Jason Eccleston. 67 00:04:13,400 --> 00:04:14,880 Good day, Maester. 68 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:17,600 Can we help you with your… bag? 69 00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:18,640 No! 70 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:20,680 My Maenisters… 71 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:25,840 …will take care of my net of regrets. 72 00:04:25,920 --> 00:04:26,880 I am Ergo. 73 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,040 Ergo! 74 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:30,320 And I am Anso. 75 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:31,920 Anso! 76 00:04:36,520 --> 00:04:38,160 Come here, little pumpkin. 77 00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:39,960 Oh! 78 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:42,800 Look at you, mon petit chou chou. Come here. 79 00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,920 Ah! 80 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,000 Mmm! 81 00:05:01,680 --> 00:05:03,160 Mwah! 82 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:06,160 -Come! We have so much to discuss. -Yeah! 83 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:09,600 Welcome to New York! I'll take you to Fuddruckers. 84 00:05:11,200 --> 00:05:13,440 What is this fucking place? 85 00:05:13,520 --> 00:05:15,080 -It's the… 86 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,120 …Pentaverate. 87 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:23,280 In 1347, five learned men realized that-- 88 00:05:23,360 --> 00:05:27,440 Don't you dare hit that "skip intro" button. 89 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:28,960 This is important information, 90 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,120 and if you think you can remember it from episode one, 91 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:32,800 well, then say it back to me. 92 00:05:32,880 --> 00:05:33,920 Go on! 93 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:36,400 Yeah, you can't, can you? 94 00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,880 Oh God, now I've run out of time, so… 95 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:41,480 Uh, oh, uh, five men realized black plague 96 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:43,720 not a punishment from God but fleas on rats, 97 00:05:43,800 --> 00:05:45,280 became a secret society. 98 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:46,520 The key difference, 99 00:05:47,520 --> 00:05:48,520 they're nice. 100 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:02,040 Welcome to Truth Battle. I'm Rex Smith here, sheeple, 101 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,320 here in my studios in Roanoke, Virginia. 102 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:08,920 We're discussing the Pentaverate's annual secret meeting of world leaders 103 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,120 known as The Meadows, 104 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:13,960 which takes place in three days in Zermatt, Switzerland, 105 00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:16,240 near the Matterhorn. 106 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,640 But first, let me tell you about Rex Smith Male Enhancement Cola. 107 00:06:21,640 --> 00:06:24,760 My cola will not only enhance your performance, 108 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,040 -but will increase your size. 109 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,480 Rex Smith Male Enhancement Cola. 110 00:06:29,560 --> 00:06:30,440 You'll be happy, 111 00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:34,600 and she'll be happy too, 'cause you'll get a boner! 112 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:36,600 - Until tomorrow… 113 00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:40,240 -Stay awake and stay vigilant. - …stay awake and stay vigilant. 114 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:42,960 Ah! 115 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:46,200 Now Ken, I got a plan to get you into the Pentaverate. 116 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:49,520 The only way is to infiltrate through the Liechtenstein Guard. 117 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:51,040 The Liechtenstein Guard? 118 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,840 Yeah, it's the Pentaverate's security force. 119 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:56,800 I would infiltrate myself, but I already tried once. 120 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:57,960 You didn't get in? 121 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,480 No, you have to be circumcised. 122 00:07:00,560 --> 00:07:04,560 I was gonna get it done, but have you ever seen an adult circumcision? 123 00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:06,480 I have many times. 124 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,800 Why? 125 00:07:07,880 --> 00:07:11,520 So instead, I rolled up my foreskin and Krazy Glued it back, 126 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:14,240 but that didn't work either, 'cause of the tug test. 127 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:15,240 The what now? 128 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:16,680 The tug test. 129 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:18,800 Took away seven layers of dermis. 130 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:23,040 Speaking of which, I gotta take a leak, but the chemical toilet's on the fritz. 131 00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,960 We can stop at Big Dick's other hotel, 132 00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:27,360 The Old Log Inn. 133 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:29,240 How far is The Old Log Inn? 134 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:30,160 Not far. 135 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,120 It's in the town of Nuts Deep. 136 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:36,440 So The Old Log is in Nuts Deep. 137 00:07:36,520 --> 00:07:39,720 -Really? -Do you have to repeat everything I say? 138 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:41,800 Anthony, do you mind if I make a phone call? 139 00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:42,960 Not at all. 140 00:07:45,600 --> 00:07:46,440 Hey, Ken. 141 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:47,640 Mrs. Snee! 142 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,600 I'm in Nuts Deep. 143 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:53,200 New York? Hey, my son played a hockey tournament there. 144 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,400 What are you doing in that town that actually exists? 145 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:57,120 Okay, what I'm about to tell you 146 00:07:57,200 --> 00:07:59,400 is gonna sound like a lot of balloon juice, 147 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:04,080 but I think I may have found a story so big I'd get my job back. 148 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,640 Okay. Mrs. Snee, we need you back on comms. 149 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:09,240 Oh, uh, no, Ken. 150 00:08:09,320 --> 00:08:11,040 We've already replaced ya. 151 00:08:11,640 --> 00:08:12,720 I'm sorry. 152 00:08:12,800 --> 00:08:15,600 I'm Darleen Windelchuck with Hard-Hit News. 153 00:08:15,680 --> 00:08:18,000 You've just been hit hard. 154 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:23,520 Well, Reilly, 155 00:08:23,600 --> 00:08:25,000 I'm done like dinner. 156 00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:28,000 Hey, why are you feeling sorry for yourself? 157 00:08:28,080 --> 00:08:30,600 We're from Canada. We don't give up, eh? 158 00:08:30,680 --> 00:08:32,840 There's so much to your story. 159 00:08:33,560 --> 00:08:34,880 And I'm gonna help you write it. 160 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:37,320 Thank you, Reilly. 161 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:39,240 I'm gonna get my job back. 162 00:08:45,120 --> 00:08:47,160 Did you know that dolphins can queef? 163 00:08:47,240 --> 00:08:49,080 What are you talking about?! 164 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:55,400 I just hadn't spoken in a while, and I wanted to feel like I belonged. 165 00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:57,600 Oh. Okey dokey. I'm sorry. 166 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:02,600 Finally. I have to piss so bad my back teeth are floating. 167 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:13,280 Ergo, Anso, let us begin the autopsy of Jason Eccleston. 168 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:17,360 Woman, what made you suspect murder? 169 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,440 First of all, it's not "woman." 170 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,200 It's Patty. 171 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,160 And B, I mean, look at his eyes, Maester. 172 00:09:24,760 --> 00:09:28,120 Jason used to have beautiful brown eyes, you know, 173 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:29,520 and… and then I noticed… 174 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:33,680 -Ah! Eyes turned blue. -Yeah. 175 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:35,560 Interesting. 176 00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:38,440 -Ah, woman-- -No, Patty. 177 00:09:38,520 --> 00:09:39,720 Be gone with you. 178 00:09:39,800 --> 00:09:41,200 I'm leaving now. 179 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:44,800 Not because you said, "Be gone with you," which is just aggressive. 180 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,440 I'm leaving because it smells like dude, 181 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,120 and y'all need to wash your balls more often. 182 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:53,040 Anso, document my findings. 183 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:58,400 The victim is of masculine sex. 184 00:09:59,000 --> 00:09:59,960 Height, 185 00:10:01,120 --> 00:10:02,080 four cubits. 186 00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:03,200 Weight, 187 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,200 17 stone. 188 00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:10,080 Ergo, vent the gas. 189 00:10:18,160 --> 00:10:20,120 Stomach contents… 190 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:22,360 …Doritos. 191 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,000 Possibly… 192 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,400 …Cool Ranch. 193 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:28,280 Pizza bagels. 194 00:10:30,920 --> 00:10:33,640 Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies. 195 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,080 So he was poisoned? 196 00:10:38,480 --> 00:10:40,120 We cannot assume. 197 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:44,920 Assuming makes an ass out of you, Anso. 198 00:10:45,760 --> 00:10:47,120 Just you. 199 00:10:48,920 --> 00:10:52,360 Well, we don't have a lot of time and so-- 200 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:54,880 -Yes, Maester? -No, not you, Anso. And so-- 201 00:10:54,960 --> 00:10:58,200 -Yes, Maester? -No! I just said, "Not you, Anso!" 202 00:10:59,400 --> 00:11:02,880 And… d… d… so, 203 00:11:04,280 --> 00:11:06,880 what can we conclude? 204 00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,200 Murder, Maester? 205 00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:13,040 Yes, Ergo! 206 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,440 Murder! 207 00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:19,080 Oh, wow! New York City, eh? 208 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,840 There's the Empire State Building. 209 00:11:21,920 --> 00:11:23,000 It's a hoax. 210 00:11:23,080 --> 00:11:24,680 Holy jumpin'. 211 00:11:26,080 --> 00:11:28,680 Okay, Kenny boy, this is Area 52. 212 00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:31,000 Ask for Sammy. He's the chef. 213 00:11:31,080 --> 00:11:33,840 He's got the security fobs that will get you into the Pentaverate. 214 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:35,880 Really? A security fob? 215 00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:39,520 That's all you need to get into a secret society's headquarters? 216 00:11:39,600 --> 00:11:41,360 Well, that and a circumcised penis. 217 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:45,320 But I already saw Kenny's fireman helmet, and he's good to go. 218 00:11:46,280 --> 00:11:47,280 Anyways, 219 00:11:47,360 --> 00:11:50,040 Sammy's really into billiards. Do you play? 220 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:54,760 A little when I was in the Canadian Army, stationed in Garmisch-Partenkirchen. 221 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:58,120 Perfect. If you can beat him, he'll give you a security fob. 222 00:11:58,200 --> 00:12:00,160 Tell him Anthony sent you. 223 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:01,280 Will do. 224 00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,240 Ask for Sammy! 225 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:16,400 -All right. -Yes! 226 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,760 Hey! Welcome to Area 52, 227 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,880 where today's special are my famous pork cheeks. 228 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:31,280 Can I take your new world order? 229 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,040 Yeah, you got the Chem Trail, 230 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,560 and you got the Anal Probe. 231 00:12:38,320 --> 00:12:40,000 I think I'll go with the Chem Trail. 232 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:41,920 And for the little lady? 233 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:43,480 I'll just have a water. 234 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,360 With or without fluoride? 235 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:47,160 With fluoride? 236 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:48,640 Your funeral, kid. 237 00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:52,640 -Ask him. -Are you Sammy? 238 00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:56,840 Who's asking? 239 00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,240 I'm friends with Anthony. 240 00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:05,480 He told me that, uh, you had security fobs to get into the Pentaverate. 241 00:13:05,560 --> 00:13:07,280 For that goofy fuckface? 242 00:13:07,360 --> 00:13:08,200 No. 243 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:11,680 I'm not risking my fucking fob connection for that lump of shit. 244 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,640 Well, that's a fine how-do-you-do. You kiss your mom with that mouth? 245 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:21,560 I'll tell you what. If you can beat me at pool, 246 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:23,640 I'll give you a fucking fob. 247 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:24,680 Okey dokey. 248 00:13:25,680 --> 00:13:26,520 You're on. 249 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,920 There's the fucking fob. 250 00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:31,640 Mind if I-- 251 00:13:31,720 --> 00:13:33,320 Mind if you fucking what? 252 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,880 Hey, Sammy, you cocksucker! 253 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:39,120 -Kick his fucking ass! -The fuck you just say to me? 254 00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:43,040 Are you hard of fucking hearing? 255 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:46,480 I said, "Kick his fucking ass." 256 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,640 Don't you think it's weird they're swearing so much? 257 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:50,560 They're Americans. 258 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:52,400 Hey, jagoff! 259 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:54,120 You any fucking good? 260 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,600 I certainly am. 261 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,200 Me fucking too. 262 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:03,160 -Holy fuck! 263 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:08,520 Oh, yeah. Do it, old-timer. 264 00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:09,960 Ah, shit. 265 00:14:10,040 --> 00:14:12,400 These pork cheeks are fucking good. 266 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:15,800 Yeah. My cheeks are fucking delicious. 267 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:20,640 Hey, this fuck-stick broke the fucking balls wide open. 268 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,280 Going for the brown. 269 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:24,640 -Oh shit! 270 00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,680 Straight in! 271 00:14:28,280 --> 00:14:29,480 That's gotta hurt. 272 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,880 Fuck you! Fuck. 273 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:32,920 Holy fuck! 274 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,520 -Holy shit! -You old fuck. 275 00:14:36,120 --> 00:14:38,200 -Fucking cocksucker! 276 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:41,600 Seriously, why all the swearing? Like, it's a lot, right? 277 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:44,880 Does anyone else notice how weird that is? 278 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:46,920 You know the one fucking thing these need? 279 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:49,920 Mayo. But the fucking bottle's all jammed up. 280 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,720 You're putting that shit on my fucking cuisine? 281 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:55,240 -Fuck! 282 00:14:58,520 --> 00:14:59,360 Shit. 283 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:01,560 I'm fucking sorry, man. 284 00:15:01,640 --> 00:15:03,480 How can Netflix be okay with this? 285 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:10,400 The language in that last scene was a little strong. 286 00:15:10,480 --> 00:15:12,920 Not quite the "fun for all ages" style 287 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,640 we've come to expect from a Mike Myers project. 288 00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:18,000 So let's see that scene again, but this time, 289 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,320 we've removed all the bad language. 290 00:15:20,400 --> 00:15:21,520 Enjoy. 291 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:24,640 -Mind if I? -Are you hard? 292 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:26,840 I certainly am. 293 00:15:26,920 --> 00:15:28,080 Me too. 294 00:15:28,640 --> 00:15:30,680 -Oh, yeah. 295 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:32,480 Do it, old-timer. 296 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,680 Yeah. My cheeks are wide open. 297 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,440 Going for the brown. 298 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:44,120 Straight in! 299 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:45,880 That's gotta hurt. 300 00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:51,920 Ooh! 301 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,040 I'm just gonna go clean myself up. 302 00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:59,320 Then I'm gonna come back and take care of those balls. Yeah. 303 00:16:03,600 --> 00:16:06,720 Off the record, is the Illuminati real? 304 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:07,760 Yes. 305 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:11,200 Both Beyoncé and Jay-Zed are part of it, sadly. 306 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:12,680 But don't worry, 307 00:16:12,760 --> 00:16:14,280 they're double agents. 308 00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,840 That's what Lemonade is about! 309 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:21,360 Yes. Yes. 310 00:16:21,440 --> 00:16:22,280 Oh. 311 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,480 Do you know, 312 00:16:23,560 --> 00:16:27,440 I don't think we were prepared for her jelly, ultimately. 313 00:16:27,520 --> 00:16:28,880 Oh no. Hell, no. 314 00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,880 -Wasn't nobody ready for that. -Really? 315 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:33,160 -No. -I didn't think so. 316 00:16:33,240 --> 00:16:35,840 Okay, gentlemen, next item on the agenda. 317 00:16:35,920 --> 00:16:39,160 -Meadows decor and party favors. -Close enough, brother. 318 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:42,320 As you see here, I've made a model of The Meadows, 319 00:16:42,400 --> 00:16:46,160 and I was thinking it could be kind of like a Game of Thrones thing. 320 00:16:46,240 --> 00:16:49,840 I've even put in a moon door. 321 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:51,360 Look at this. 322 00:16:51,440 --> 00:16:52,480 Bye-bye. 323 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,200 Ah! 324 00:16:55,320 --> 00:17:00,480 And Gwyneth Paltrow has agreed to have Goop do the gift bags. 325 00:17:00,560 --> 00:17:02,720 She's even throwing in some of her… 326 00:17:02,800 --> 00:17:04,640 -…vibrating eggs. 327 00:17:04,720 --> 00:17:05,560 You know, 328 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:07,920 for shits and Kegels. 329 00:17:11,760 --> 00:17:12,840 All right, gentlemen, 330 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,760 you know what you have to do. 331 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:29,480 Are we seriously talking about party favors? 332 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:33,040 The Pentaverate is a secret global organization 333 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,880 dedicated to solving the world's problems. 334 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:38,400 Things like food insecurity, microplastic pollution, 335 00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,800 clean water, sex trafficking. 336 00:17:41,880 --> 00:17:43,040 Yes. 337 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,720 Too many women in my country involved in this. 338 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,680 Agreed. Prostitution is modern-day slavery. 339 00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:52,400 And when they show up at hotel, they don't look like picture on website. 340 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:53,560 Wait, hold on now. What now? 341 00:17:53,640 --> 00:17:56,400 And when you order twins, they just send over two girls 342 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:57,600 with same colored wig. 343 00:17:57,680 --> 00:17:59,720 -Oh! -This is not twins. 344 00:17:59,800 --> 00:18:01,400 I want real twins! 345 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,400 Conjoined at hip like God intended! 346 00:18:04,480 --> 00:18:06,840 -Uh, thank you, Mishu. Thank you. 347 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:10,080 I thought you all brought me here to solve climate change 348 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:11,400 in time for The Meadows? 349 00:18:11,480 --> 00:18:15,080 Professor, don't think of us as the Almighty. 350 00:18:15,160 --> 00:18:17,040 Think of us as the alternative. 351 00:18:17,120 --> 00:18:19,680 Well, while y'all continue to waste your time, 352 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:22,400 I'm gonna work on cracking cold fusion. 353 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,120 Something you need me to do. 354 00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,560 Something the world needs me to do. 355 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,880 Rather dramatic, don't you think? 356 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:38,920 You're the best. Give Apple a kiss. 357 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,560 -Okay, great. 358 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,960 Just got off the phone with Gwyneth. She's gonna throw in the vagina candle. 359 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:45,120 Oh. 360 00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,200 Okay, swipe the fob, 361 00:18:50,280 --> 00:18:53,080 get in the elevator, boom, you're in the Pentaverate. 362 00:18:53,680 --> 00:18:55,840 These glasses are an exact replica of yours. 363 00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:58,360 There's a miniature camera with a microSD card in the bridge. 364 00:18:58,440 --> 00:18:59,680 It's constantly recording. 365 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,440 There's a built-in microphone. Hold the button, and we can hear you. 366 00:19:02,520 --> 00:19:03,360 Okay. 367 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:10,480 Testing. Testing. How's your mom? 368 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:11,720 -Oof. 369 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:12,800 Crikey. 370 00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:14,120 Sorry about that. 371 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:16,920 Ken, this is important. 372 00:19:17,600 --> 00:19:19,080 When you get in there, 373 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:21,800 you gotta get footage of the Pentaverate members. 374 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:22,720 Right. 375 00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,520 Bonus points if you can get the vials of adrenochrome. 376 00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:28,000 Adrenochrome? I can't with this. 377 00:19:28,080 --> 00:19:29,440 Do your research! 378 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:32,560 That's how those pedos get their rocks off. 379 00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:33,600 Got it. 380 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:35,640 -Bye-bye now. -Bye. 381 00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:38,160 Bye, Ken. 382 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:03,000 Next! 383 00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:05,960 Come on in, son. 384 00:20:06,560 --> 00:20:08,760 Hold on a sec, it's Percodan o'clock. 385 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:15,360 I'm Exalted Pikeman Higgins of the Liechtenstein Guard. 386 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,440 What's your name? 387 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:17,480 Ken. 388 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:18,760 Last name? 389 00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:20,360 Doll. 390 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:21,920 Ken Doll? 391 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,600 -Yeah. -Your name is Ken Doll? 392 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:26,040 Yeah. 393 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:27,760 Are you married to Barbie? 394 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:30,280 No, but I, uh… I do get that a lot. 395 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:33,240 Tell me, why do you want to join the Liechtenstein Guard? 396 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,280 Wh… why? I, uh… 397 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:40,680 Well, I wanted to change my story and to change my life. 398 00:20:40,760 --> 00:20:42,760 Well, you've come to the right place. 399 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:43,680 Oh, okay. 400 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,320 Before this, I was a stuntman in Hollywood. 401 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,040 Westerns, mostly. 402 00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:50,680 Then Hollywood changed. Heroes became ambiguous. 403 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:52,720 Who's the good guy? Who's the bad guy? 404 00:20:52,800 --> 00:20:56,920 -Is that why you stopped being a stuntman? -No, I broke my taint on a pommel horse. 405 00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:00,960 You got any military experience? 406 00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:03,400 Yes. I was in the Canadian Army. 407 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,000 They have an army? Just kidding. 408 00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:08,240 -Hilarious. -Just one more question. 409 00:21:09,480 --> 00:21:10,480 Midge. 410 00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:11,640 Midge? 411 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:13,320 Barbie's best friend. 412 00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:16,120 Have you met her? 413 00:21:16,200 --> 00:21:20,000 I think I have to be a little honest with you. I made up the name Ken Doll. 414 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:21,800 Ah, shit. 415 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,000 All right, raise your right hand and repeat after me. 416 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,000 The Pentaverate must never be exposed. 417 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,440 The Pentaverate must never be exposed. 418 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:31,560 Now make your way over to Katie in HR. 419 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:33,360 -That's it? -That's it. 420 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:34,480 No tug test? 421 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,200 Oh yeah, I plumb forgot. 422 00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:37,920 Drop 'em, soldier. 423 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,320 -Now, this is gonna hurt you 424 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,960 a lot more than it's gonna hurt me. 425 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,440 Do you need a bite belt? 426 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,080 Do I? I mean, I've never-- 427 00:22:00,840 --> 00:22:01,840 Oh f… 428 00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:04,160 That'll be Ken's tug test. 429 00:22:04,240 --> 00:22:07,320 We can only pray to God his foreskin holds. 430 00:22:07,400 --> 00:22:09,200 Dear Lord, please let Ken's… 431 00:22:10,760 --> 00:22:12,080 No, I can't say that to God. 432 00:22:12,160 --> 00:22:13,000 No. 433 00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:20,040 It is officially nighttime. Good night, Pentaverate HQ. 434 00:22:21,400 --> 00:22:24,080 That makes the coefficient 4.9 E. 435 00:22:24,160 --> 00:22:28,440 Then, that makes E equal to 0.2 to C squared. Is that correct? 436 00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:30,280 -That's actually correct. -Good. 437 00:22:30,360 --> 00:22:32,920 The Gaussian concept of the elective affinity of molecules 438 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:34,360 is inert in plasma state. 439 00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:37,360 That's right. We get the isotope to be stable then. 440 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:39,640 We're dealing in fractals now, baby. 441 00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:48,200 Ah. 442 00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:52,480 Eyes so blue. 443 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:54,480 No, use the protein molecule, fucknuts. 444 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:55,680 Thank you. I forgot. 445 00:22:59,560 --> 00:23:03,160 One of them is the murderer. 446 00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:17,960 MENTOR… 447 00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,000 can you give me the figures 448 00:23:24,480 --> 00:23:27,520 for the separation of hydrogen isotopes? 449 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:30,960 25.78 kilojoules equals cold fusion. 450 00:23:31,040 --> 00:23:32,120 Confirmed. 451 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,400 I've cracked cold fusion. 452 00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,280 -There you are. 453 00:23:41,360 --> 00:23:44,440 See? This place still has a little magic left in it. 454 00:23:44,520 --> 00:23:45,560 -Here you go. -Hey. 455 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:48,320 -And in time for The Meadows, man! 456 00:23:48,920 --> 00:23:50,280 To being dead! 457 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:53,360 -Mmm! -Ooh! 458 00:23:53,440 --> 00:23:54,440 -Mmm. -Mmm! 459 00:23:55,280 --> 00:23:56,600 -Mmm! You know what? -Ah! 460 00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,680 I feel more alive 461 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:00,200 than when I was 462 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:02,240 alive. 463 00:24:05,200 --> 00:24:06,640 -Yeah. 464 00:24:06,720 --> 00:24:08,160 Hey, um, let me ask you something. 465 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:09,240 -Yeah. -Be honest. 466 00:24:09,320 --> 00:24:10,400 Sure. 467 00:24:11,000 --> 00:24:14,200 Did y'all bring me into the Pentaverate because I was a brother? 468 00:24:14,960 --> 00:24:15,960 No. 469 00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:18,720 You're here because you're a brilliant scientist. 470 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:23,600 They accept everyone, be they a Christian, be they a gay, be they a cripple, 471 00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:25,760 be they a spinster, be they a fatty, 472 00:24:25,840 --> 00:24:27,800 be they a simpleton, be they an ugger-- 473 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:29,280 -Got it. -Yeah. 474 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:30,840 -I got it. -Yeah. 475 00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:32,360 If you wanna stick it to the man, 476 00:24:33,920 --> 00:24:34,960 stick around. 477 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:36,640 Here's to being dead. 478 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:46,160 Well, this old Aussie's gonna hit the hay. 479 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,240 Oh. All right. 480 00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:49,160 Professor, 481 00:24:50,120 --> 00:24:51,440 congratulations. 482 00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:52,840 Well, thank you, mate. 483 00:24:54,440 --> 00:24:57,040 Lovely, lovely. All right. Okay. 484 00:24:59,160 --> 00:25:00,000 Yeah. 485 00:25:00,520 --> 00:25:01,520 Hey, Bruce. 486 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:05,800 The Pentaverate must never be exposed. 487 00:25:07,920 --> 00:25:09,120 Welcome aboard. 488 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:16,400 Oh my God, I thought he'd never leave! 489 00:25:16,480 --> 00:25:18,320 -Patty! -What? What? 490 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:19,840 -I… I've done it. -What? 491 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:22,680 -This is the greatest moment of my life. -What? 492 00:25:22,760 --> 00:25:23,960 I cracked cold fusion. 493 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:25,480 Yes! All right! 494 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:28,000 -Oh! 495 00:25:28,080 --> 00:25:31,400 I knew you had the right stuff the moment you walked through that door. 496 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:32,720 I mean, I did it, right? 497 00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:34,360 -Yes, you did! -I did! 498 00:25:34,440 --> 00:25:37,160 It's the funniest thing. I was almost asleep. 499 00:25:37,240 --> 00:25:39,680 But, you know, I was just laying there. 500 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:41,160 I just couldn't sleep. 501 00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:43,960 -Maybe you don't need to sleep. -Oh? 502 00:25:44,640 --> 00:25:46,040 Maybe, um, 503 00:25:46,120 --> 00:25:47,400 you need to join me. 504 00:25:47,920 --> 00:25:50,240 -Oh? -And we take a walk on the moon. 505 00:25:50,320 --> 00:25:52,440 -Oh yeah. -And we look at the stars. 506 00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:54,000 -Oh! -Hmm? 507 00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:57,240 They're so, so beautiful. 508 00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,200 You know, this crater right here is called the Sea of Tranquility. 509 00:26:00,280 --> 00:26:01,480 Is that so? 510 00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:02,760 Mm-hmm. 511 00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:03,800 Well, then, 512 00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:06,520 let's make some waves. 513 00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:08,280 -Oh yeah. -Okay. 514 00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:24,640 Good morning, Pentaverate. 515 00:26:26,120 --> 00:26:27,200 A reminder, 516 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:29,600 The Meadows is in just two days. 517 00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:31,400 I'm Maria Menounos. 518 00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:43,920 Doesn't anyone knock anymore? 519 00:26:46,360 --> 00:26:47,240 Oh my God! 520 00:26:48,680 --> 00:26:49,960 He's dead!