1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,936
REPORTERS: Southwark Crown Court
where Charles Ingram...

2
00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:10,936
Army Major Charles Ingram
and his wife Diana

3
00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,296
arriving at court today
to face the cameras.

4
00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:14,936
Inside, Ingram is to hear claims

5
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,936
that he teamed up
with a coughing accomplice,

6
00:00:16,960 --> 00:00:19,936
alleged to be
college lecturer Tecwen Whittock,

7
00:00:19,960 --> 00:00:22,936
to cheat his way
to the £1 million jackpot

8
00:00:22,960 --> 00:00:26,936
on ITV's hit quiz show,
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

9
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:27,960
CLAMOURING

10
00:00:55,960 --> 00:00:57,936
Oh, hello.

11
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,960
I believe we're charged with
co-conspiracy.

12
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:02,936
It's nice to meet you both

13
00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,456
at last.

14
00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:09,936
Yes, the accused look,
and to all intents and purposes, are

15
00:01:09,960 --> 00:01:12,936
respectable middle-class,
middle-aged,

16
00:01:12,960 --> 00:01:14,936
middle England men and women.

17
00:01:14,960 --> 00:01:18,936
At the end of the day,
this was just a game.

18
00:01:18,960 --> 00:01:22,776
A television quiz show
enjoyed by millions,

19
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,936
but creating in a select few

20
00:01:24,960 --> 00:01:26,976
this unhealthy obsession

21
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,136
that spilled over
into an audacious heist.

22
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,296
Who wanted to be a millionaire?

23
00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:35,936
My God, these three certainly did.

24
00:01:35,960 --> 00:01:38,936
You are facing a 50-50,

25
00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:41,936
guilty or not guilty.

26
00:01:41,960 --> 00:01:44,960
The Crown believes the answer
to be self-evident.

27
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:48,960
They are guilty as charged.

28
00:01:56,960 --> 00:01:59,936
REPORTER: Today, one home in three
throughout the British Isles

29
00:01:59,960 --> 00:02:03,936
sits spellbound several hours a day
before a magic cube.

30
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,936
A new public service
is about to be launched

31
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,936
over the rooftops of old London.

32
00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:11,136
Here it is, ladies and gentlemen,
a holiday of a lifetime.

33
00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,936
You've won a marvellous
14-day holiday for two.

34
00:02:13,960 --> 00:02:16,936
You've got a radiogram
and a nice easy chair to sit on.

35
00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:18,936
Bern is the capital of...
Switzerland.

36
00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:20,936
Edinburgh.
Scotland.

37
00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:24,936
This wonderful microwave oven and a
superb range of kitchen equipment.

38
00:02:24,960 --> 00:02:25,976
Let's play Bullseye.

39
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,456
For £50. Who was beaten
by Martina Navratilova

40
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,936
in the 1987 finals?
Steffi Graf.

41
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,936
APPLAUSE
Welcome to Mr and Mrs.

42
00:02:33,960 --> 00:02:35,936
We've got two happily married
couples back there,

43
00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:37,936
ready and willing to hand over
their nuptials to me.

44
00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:39,976
It's nice to see you, to see you...

45
00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,960
AUDIENCE: Nice!

46
00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:55,937
Hi, sir.

47
00:02:55,961 --> 00:02:57,936
David Liddiment. I start today.

48
00:02:57,960 --> 00:02:58,937
What department?

49
00:02:58,961 --> 00:03:01,776
Uh... I think, uh...

50
00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:03,936
Well, I suppose all of them.
I'm the new Director of Programmes.

51
00:03:03,960 --> 00:03:07,136
Oh! Stand by your beds,
best behaviour, new boss is here.

52
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:08,936
God, I hate changes of leader.

53
00:03:08,960 --> 00:03:10,936
And them wanky new ideas.

54
00:03:10,960 --> 00:03:12,936
David! Claudia.
Head of Entertainment.

55
00:03:12,960 --> 00:03:13,937
Hi.
Claudia, hi. How are you?

56
00:03:13,961 --> 00:03:17,936
Surprise, surprise,
it's Claudia who gets to him first.

57
00:03:17,960 --> 00:03:19,936
You look...
I look... I look like hell.

58
00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:22,936
Just had baby number two,
that's my excuse, anyway, so...

59
00:03:22,960 --> 00:03:24,936
Uh... Time for a quick catch-up?

60
00:03:24,960 --> 00:03:27,960
Walk and talk?
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

61
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,936
I'm interested in events.

62
00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,936
Event television.

63
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,936
Why do the BBC always trounce us
in the big stuff?

64
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,296
Diana's funeral
a couple of weeks ago,

65
00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:40,616
one of the most watched programmes
in TV history,

66
00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,936
and obviously, tragic as that was,
goes without saying... Tragic.

67
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:45,296
..people still want to
gather as a nation

68
00:03:45,320 --> 00:03:47,616
to experience
something big together.

69
00:03:47,640 --> 00:03:51,936
I'm just not sure the classic light
entertainment of old fits into that.

70
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:52,937
OK.

71
00:03:52,961 --> 00:03:55,936
Well, we've always gotten
our game show formats from America.

72
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:56,937
So time for something new.

73
00:03:56,961 --> 00:03:59,616
No, time to invent our own.

74
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,136
The classic TV game show can be

75
00:04:02,160 --> 00:04:03,976
the must-see TV thingy
that you're looking for.

76
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,776
I'm not just saying that
to save my department's skin.

77
00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:08,976
Claudia, I've got Martin Bashir
coming in this morning to discuss...

78
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,936
Very important, but if you just
let me bring some people in...

79
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,936
I have one. I think I have one.

80
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:15,936
It's an old one.
The last gaffer rejected it.

81
00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,776
Brilliant. Why is it an event?

82
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,960
Because they're going to give away
£1 million.

83
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,936
The idea then would be that the
higher up the mountain you climb,

84
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:32,936
the more your time would deplete,
the way that oxygen might deplete.

85
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:34,456
No. Stop trying to complicate it.

86
00:04:34,480 --> 00:04:36,936
It's simple. Questions and answers.

87
00:04:36,960 --> 00:04:39,936
Paul, for crying out...
This isn't 1955.

88
00:04:39,960 --> 00:04:42,936
Everyone else is making shows where
you spy on strangers in a house

89
00:04:42,960 --> 00:04:44,936
or throw them out of helicopters.
Yeah. Crap. Desperate.

90
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:46,936
This is the show
we're going to pitch.

91
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:47,976
Re-pitch.

92
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,936
We could set it on actual mountain.

93
00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:51,936
Well, like a little one.

94
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,936
Like in...

95
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:54,937
Wales or...

96
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:56,936
Look, right, I'm with Paul.

97
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,936
It's what we did
on the radio show with Chris.

98
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:00,936
Answer a question,
you get it right, you double it,

99
00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:03,936
so you keep doubling,
so the higher up you go,

100
00:05:03,960 --> 00:05:06,936
the more you can earn,
but the more you can lose.

101
00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:07,937
People love it.

102
00:05:07,961 --> 00:05:09,456
But the networks don't.

103
00:05:09,480 --> 00:05:11,616
That's why they all
turned it down the first time.

104
00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:12,936
Fusty old game show.

105
00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:16,776
It's not a game show, it's a quiz.

106
00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:19,616
That's the joy of it.

107
00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,936
People love a good pub quiz.

108
00:05:22,960 --> 00:05:26,936
A uniquely British invention
combining our two greatest loves,

109
00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,960
drinking and being right.

110
00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,936
Nope. Fine.
You write it down, then.

111
00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:34,937
Ever the teacher, you do it.

112
00:05:34,961 --> 00:05:37,776
That's not how you spell that.
Question three.

113
00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,936
The Living Room War was the nickname

114
00:05:39,960 --> 00:05:41,936
given to which conflict

115
00:05:41,960 --> 00:05:46,296
perceived to be the first truly
televised war of the 20th century?

116
00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:47,936
Suez?
Korean?

117
00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:48,937
Maybe it is Suez.
No, it was too early,

118
00:05:48,961 --> 00:05:50,936
we didn't have a TV during Suez.

119
00:05:50,960 --> 00:05:52,936
Vietnam. It's Vietnam.

120
00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:53,937
Are you sure, Dad?

121
00:05:53,961 --> 00:05:56,936
Uh... Who here got down
to the last four on Fifteen To One,

122
00:05:56,960 --> 00:05:58,936
toughest show on television?

123
00:05:58,960 --> 00:05:59,937
Vietnam.

124
00:05:59,961 --> 00:06:01,936
Diana. Diana?

125
00:06:01,960 --> 00:06:04,136
Telephone. Diana.

126
00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,616
Guess who for 12 points.

127
00:06:06,640 --> 00:06:09,936
"I say, darling, is that the time?
Deary me.

128
00:06:09,960 --> 00:06:11,936
"In the army,
one must always be on time.

129
00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:12,937
"Golly."

130
00:06:12,961 --> 00:06:14,976
Oi! No phone calls. Cheating.

131
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,936
I'm not cheating. We don't cheat.

132
00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:19,936
Charles, it's Tuesday,

133
00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:20,937
pub quiz night, my one night...

134
00:06:20,961 --> 00:06:23,296
No, hello, darling. No, no, no,
I'm not asking you to come home,

135
00:06:23,320 --> 00:06:25,936
it's just that Polly wants you to
hear her piano piece before bedtime.

136
00:06:25,960 --> 00:06:27,936
She's got all the way through
the first bit.

137
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,000
I'll hold the phone out.
One second. One sec.

138
00:06:33,960 --> 00:06:34,937
Go. Go.

139
00:06:34,961 --> 00:06:36,960
PLAYS 'AIR ON THE G STRING'
BY BACH

140
00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:54,960
Question four, in which country was
the Rosetta Stone found in 1799?

141
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:00,936
That's all I've got.

142
00:07:00,960 --> 00:07:01,937
That's all she's got.

143
00:07:01,961 --> 00:07:03,936
That's all she's gotten.

144
00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:04,937
That's all for now, darling.

145
00:07:04,961 --> 00:07:06,936
Oh, well, tell her well done.
I'll be home soon.

146
00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,960
Lots of love.
Next question...

147
00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:15,937
It's exciting!

148
00:07:15,961 --> 00:07:17,936
Brand-new school,
new children, new friends.

149
00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:19,936
It's just memorising all the names.

150
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:21,936
They'll need a system.

151
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:23,936
Can you call the landlord tonight
about the boiler?

152
00:07:23,960 --> 00:07:26,776
Last thing we needed
was cold showers this morning. Sure.

153
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,936
You feeling all right today?
Yeah, I'm looking forward to it.

154
00:07:29,960 --> 00:07:32,936
It's a bit of a step down, isn't it,
training other officers?

155
00:07:32,960 --> 00:07:34,936
Well, it's a step around.
It's a step different.

156
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:37,616
It's nice to be near your dad
and Adrian, isn't it?

157
00:07:37,640 --> 00:07:39,936
Yes, although you should have
seen him last night,

158
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,936
so competitive, he drives me crazy.

159
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:43,936
But you're quite competitive too
in a lovely way.

160
00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:45,936
Nothing wrong with
a bit of ambition, Charles.

161
00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,936
So, it's multiple choice,

162
00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,936
which has never been done
on telly before, ever,

163
00:07:49,960 --> 00:07:52,936
and you get to see the question
and four possible answers

164
00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:54,136
before you decide to play.

165
00:07:54,160 --> 00:07:55,936
Right, so it's easier, then?

166
00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,936
No, if anything,
it adds to the torment.

167
00:07:57,960 --> 00:08:00,936
And there's no clock,
they get as long as they want.

168
00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:01,937
Well, where's the tension?

169
00:08:01,961 --> 00:08:03,936
Because we're watching people
potentially

170
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:07,616
making life-changing decisions.

171
00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:10,776
And we'll just sit there
and watch them go through it all,

172
00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:12,936
the whole gamut of emotions,
waiting.

173
00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,936
And then there's also the matter of

174
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:17,936
the largest game show prize
in the history of television.

175
00:08:17,960 --> 00:08:20,936
Right, yeah,
so you're gonna bankrupt us all.

176
00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:22,776
Oh, there's nothing to worry about.

177
00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:26,936
It would take a very unique sort of
person to risk going all the way.

178
00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:27,937
That fear is built into the show.

179
00:08:27,961 --> 00:08:29,936
Well, let's try it.
Play it with you.

180
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,936
Now.

181
00:08:31,960 --> 00:08:33,136
Sure, why not? Love a game.

182
00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:34,936
And we thought,
to make things more real,

183
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:36,936
you could put your own money in.

184
00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:38,936
£250, say?

185
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:39,937
For the psychology, you know.

186
00:08:39,961 --> 00:08:41,960
Oh, you did, did you?

187
00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:44,936
Right. Yeah.

188
00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,960
You think I just carry £250
around with me?

189
00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:51,936
Certainly close. 230.

190
00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:53,960
Claudia, do you have, um...

191
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:58,936
What, you want me to put in...
20 quid, I'm putting in 230.

192
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,936
Yeah. Yeah, OK.

193
00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:01,937
Let's play...

194
00:09:01,961 --> 00:09:03,936
♪ Dooo...

195
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,296
What was that?

196
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:06,936
That's the..

197
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:07,976
the lights going down.

198
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,936
Something along that.

199
00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:11,776
OK. Question one,

200
00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,936
what would an aborigine do
with his wurlie?

201
00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:16,936
Would he, A, eat it,

202
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:18,456
B, hunt with it,

203
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:19,976
C, play it,

204
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:22,296
D, live in it?

205
00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:24,936
Now, you have three
Helping Hands or something...

206
00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:25,976
We're working on...

207
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,936
You can phone a friend,
you can halve it,

208
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:32,296
so there's a 50-50 chance,
or you can ask the audience.

209
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,936
Right, the halve it option.

210
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:34,937
C, play it,

211
00:09:34,961 --> 00:09:37,936
or D, live in it.

212
00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:38,976
Sod it, live in it.

213
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,936
Is the right answer.

214
00:09:40,960 --> 00:09:42,936
Oh! Yes!
Double.

215
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:44,136
You know, I...

216
00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,776
I really thought it was that one.
Yeah.

217
00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:49,936
Question three,
who was the reigning monarch

218
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,936
when Britain lost the war
of independence with America?

219
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,936
Was it...
George II. George III.

220
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:56,456
No, no, George II.

221
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:57,936
Right, do...
George III.

222
00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:58,936
Do you want the options?

223
00:09:58,960 --> 00:09:59,937
Yeah, give me the options.

224
00:09:59,961 --> 00:10:02,936
Question four. Now, this is
to double your money again,

225
00:10:02,960 --> 00:10:03,937
or you lose it all.
Mm-hm.

226
00:10:03,961 --> 00:10:06,936
In feet, what is the length
of the Titanic,

227
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:07,936
663,

228
00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:08,937
773,

229
00:10:08,961 --> 00:10:10,936
883,

230
00:10:10,960 --> 00:10:12,936
993?

231
00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:14,936
SIGHS

232
00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:16,936
Well, I'll, um...

233
00:10:16,960 --> 00:10:18,936
I'll use my last life boat.

234
00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,776
Helping Hand, although,
actually, that's...

235
00:10:21,800 --> 00:10:22,976
Anyway, uh... Ask the audience.

236
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,936
They'd each be given
a keypad to vote.

237
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,936
Why don't you just ask them
out there, if you like,

238
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:28,960
as a sort of audience?
OK.

239
00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:33,936
Oi! Listen, everyone, a sec.

240
00:10:33,960 --> 00:10:35,136
Uh...

241
00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,936
How long is the Titanic in feet?

242
00:10:37,960 --> 00:10:39,936
Is it, uh...
What were the bloody options again?

243
00:10:39,960 --> 00:10:40,937
663.
663.

244
00:10:40,961 --> 00:10:42,936
773.
773.

245
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:44,136
883.
Yeah, I've got it now, thanks.

246
00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:45,960
883 or 993.

247
00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:49,936
Well, come on, the great
and the good, have a guess.

248
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,960
Right, well, you're all fired.

249
00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:56,296
Bloody useless.

250
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:58,480
I'll stick.

251
00:10:59,960 --> 00:11:00,960
Keep my money.

252
00:11:02,960 --> 00:11:04,936
Yeah.

253
00:11:04,960 --> 00:11:06,936
Yeah, there is something in it,

254
00:11:06,960 --> 00:11:08,936
but...

255
00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:12,936
if people do win more than
we get from the phone lines,

256
00:11:12,960 --> 00:11:13,960
we're screwed.

257
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:20,936
I'll go halves on the risk with you.

258
00:11:20,960 --> 00:11:21,937
With ITV.

259
00:11:21,961 --> 00:11:25,960
I'll absorb 50%
of the liability myself.

260
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:30,936
I want a pilot

261
00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:33,960
and we'll see.

262
00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:38,936
Don't worry, in for a penny,
in for a...

263
00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:40,936
million pounds.

264
00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:42,936
I, uh...

265
00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:45,936
need to go and have a very awkward
conversation with my wife.

266
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:47,776
It'll be fine.

267
00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:48,936
Fine.

268
00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:51,936
Let's just hope the first people
to phone in for the show are...

269
00:11:51,960 --> 00:11:53,960
well, idiots.

270
00:11:54,960 --> 00:11:56,960
CLASSICAL MUSIC

271
00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:09,960
HUMS ALONG

272
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:14,976
I hope you're finding it
peaceful here, Major Ingram.

273
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:17,936
Beautiful part of the world
of course, Wiltshire.

274
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,936
Lovely walks.
Absolutely. Yes.

275
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:21,937
Plenty of space for the kids
to, um...

276
00:12:21,961 --> 00:12:24,616
And we have a cat now. Uh...

277
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:25,936
for the family to...

278
00:12:25,960 --> 00:12:27,936
Well, yeah, so...
And you were in Bosnia?

279
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:28,937
Yes, sir.

280
00:12:28,961 --> 00:12:30,936
Please.
Oh, thank you.

281
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,936
Bit of a gear shift, though,
desk work.

282
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:36,936
Well, I wanted a bit more normality,
I suppose, for my family,

283
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:37,937
and I'd, um...

284
00:12:37,961 --> 00:12:40,936
I'd seen it with my own,
you know.

285
00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,936
When I was growing up,
my father in the air force

286
00:12:43,960 --> 00:12:45,936
and my brother in the navy,
and, uh...

287
00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,936
Although... Well, my mother does
something altogether different,

288
00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,936
she designs sets for plays.

289
00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,936
Ah, the theatre. My, my.

290
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:56,296
And you were never tempted
to tread the boards yourself?

291
00:12:56,320 --> 00:12:59,936
No, no, God, no.
Military life's a much better fit.

292
00:12:59,960 --> 00:13:00,937
It's, uh...

293
00:13:00,961 --> 00:13:04,936
Yeah, well, it's wholly away
from the limelight, isn't it?

294
00:13:04,960 --> 00:13:07,136
A uniform anonymises you

295
00:13:07,160 --> 00:13:10,960
and puts you in the service for
something else, something greater.

296
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,936
Still, doesn't mean one can't enjoy

297
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,936
a bit of the old
theatrical razzmatazz, eh?

298
00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:18,936
♪ I am the very model
Of a modern Major General...

299
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:19,937
Gilbert and Sullivan.

300
00:13:19,961 --> 00:13:22,456
My other used to play it for us
on the piano.

301
00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:25,616
♪ I know the kings of England and
I quote the fights historical...

302
00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,936
BOTH: ♪ From Marathon to Waterloo
In order categorical

303
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:29,937
Yeah.

304
00:13:29,961 --> 00:13:33,936
♪ I'm very well acquainted too
With matters mathematical

305
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:37,936
♪ I understand equations
Both the simple and quadratical

306
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:41,976
♪ About binomial theorem
I am teaming with a lot o' news

307
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:46,936
♪ With many cheerful facts
About the square of the hypotenuse

308
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:50,776
♪ I'm very good at integral...
♪ I know our mythic history...

309
00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:51,936
♪ I answer hard acrostics...

310
00:13:51,960 --> 00:13:53,776
Oh, dear, no.

311
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,616
What's gone wrong?
We're on different verses.

312
00:13:55,640 --> 00:13:57,776
I think you jumped
to the King Arthur bit.

313
00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,936
Well, that is the next bit,
isn't it? I don't think it...

314
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:02,936
But it doesn't matter,
we can go from your verse if...

315
00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,960
No, no, the moment's gone now.

316
00:14:15,960 --> 00:14:17,936
CHUCKLES
Blimey.

317
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:19,456
Maybe I should be paying
for lunch, then.

318
00:14:19,480 --> 00:14:20,936
Oh, Chris, don't be silly.

319
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,936
My treat. You've put
your own house on the line, Paul.

320
00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,456
Is this a game show
or a Mafia racket?

321
00:14:27,480 --> 00:14:28,936
It's fine.

322
00:14:28,960 --> 00:14:30,936
As long as we get the revenue,
which we will,

323
00:14:30,960 --> 00:14:32,936
from people phoning in,
which they will.

324
00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:36,936
Otherwise YOU, Paul Smith,
have to put your own money...

325
00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:38,136
I mean, if someone...

326
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,936
A million quid, my God.

327
00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:43,936
Not if you, Chris Tarrant,
agree to present the show.

328
00:14:43,960 --> 00:14:47,136
A guaranteed hit.

329
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:48,936
People will love it.

330
00:14:48,960 --> 00:14:51,936
You can sign them a cheque yourself.
Your name.

331
00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:52,937
Oh, me?

332
00:14:52,961 --> 00:14:54,296
So I'm liable now too?

333
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:55,936
As a gesture, that's all.

334
00:14:55,960 --> 00:14:57,936
Look, we'll film a pilot,
test the idea.

335
00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:59,480
At least do that.

336
00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:02,936
Come on, how can you not want
to be a part of this?

337
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:04,936
It'll be...

338
00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:06,936
fun.

339
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:11,936
♪ You take me over the rainbow
And up to Cloud Nine

340
00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:16,136
♪ I'm flying high
Like a bird in the sky... ♪

341
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:19,936
APPLAUSE
Welcome back to Cash Mountain.

342
00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:21,936
OK, contestants...

343
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:24,936
Go tighter.
Stand by...

344
00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:25,937
'You will hear three beeps.

345
00:15:25,961 --> 00:15:28,936
'After the third beep,
four possible answers will appear.

346
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:31,936
'The fastest
to select the right answer

347
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,936
'will be next in our hot seat
to play for £1 million.'

348
00:15:34,960 --> 00:15:37,936
OK, here we go.
Tighter, OK.

349
00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:42,936
Which of these countries
has a Union Jack on its flag?

350
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:44,640
'Four possible answers.'

351
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,456
Look, before you say anything,
I know.

352
00:15:50,480 --> 00:15:51,936
I'm holding my hands up.

353
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:52,937
The pilot looks a mess.

354
00:15:52,961 --> 00:15:56,936
The design is all wrong.
Mess is a bit harsh, but it's too...

355
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:57,937
Happy clappy.

356
00:15:57,961 --> 00:16:00,136
It's too Saturday night,
jazz hands, it's all tits and teeth.

357
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:01,936
Can we still say tits and teeth?

358
00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:03,936
But we'll find it, David, trust us.

359
00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,936
Please. Something harder, darker.
For the drama.

360
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:07,937
We want the audience to be...

361
00:16:07,961 --> 00:16:09,936
All right, listen. Listen.

362
00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:11,960
This is Jeff, our scheduler.

363
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:15,136
Schedule. You...

364
00:16:15,160 --> 00:16:17,776
What do you mean?
Do you mean that we're on?

365
00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:19,936
We're gonna try and strip it.

366
00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,936
Lift seven days
out of our autumn schedule

367
00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,776
and run it every night for a week
at peak times.

368
00:16:25,800 --> 00:16:26,976
Event television.

369
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,936
Strip a game show?

370
00:16:28,960 --> 00:16:30,936
Peak times, same time
every night of the week?

371
00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:32,936
There's something in it.

372
00:16:32,960 --> 00:16:34,136
In the DNA of the game.

373
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:35,936
Watching it.

374
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:37,936
It's really exciting.

375
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:40,936
But yes, it looks shit right now,
so fix that,

376
00:16:40,960 --> 00:16:43,936
and fast. Oh, and the title's crap.

377
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:45,800
It needs a new name.

378
00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,936
THEY LAUGH

379
00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:53,936
Oh, my God! Oh, my... Oh, my...

380
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:54,937
Oh, my God.

381
00:16:54,961 --> 00:16:56,616
Ha-ha-ha!

382
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:57,960
Whoo! Ah!

383
00:16:58,960 --> 00:16:59,937
Drama.

384
00:16:59,961 --> 00:17:01,936
Tension.

385
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,776
Drama in-built into everything.

386
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,936
Including the chair.

387
00:17:06,960 --> 00:17:08,296
Remember, um...

388
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:09,936
Mastermind?

389
00:17:09,960 --> 00:17:11,296
That set was designed
by a chap

390
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,640
who had been interrogated
by the Gestapo.

391
00:17:16,320 --> 00:17:19,936
I want audio speakers
inside the seat,

392
00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:21,936
vibrating with heavy sound,

393
00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,936
pulsating up through the contestant.

394
00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:27,936
Gah-gung, gah-gung, OK?

395
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,936
Next, the lights.

396
00:17:29,960 --> 00:17:31,936
Darker.

397
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,960
WHISTLING
'WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE'

398
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,936
♪ Who wants to be a millionaire?

399
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:45,936
I do.

400
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,960
APPLAUSE

401
00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:52,936
Hello and welcome
to tonight's edition

402
00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:54,936
of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

403
00:17:54,960 --> 00:17:57,936
All you have to do
is call this number.

404
00:17:57,960 --> 00:18:01,936
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire,
Thursday at eight, ITV.

405
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,960
CAR PULLS UP

406
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,296
Come on, it's about to start!
What's about to start?

407
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:19,296
That new quiz show that's been
plastered everywhere. Adrian's here.

408
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,616
Adrian, your brother?
I thought it was our night in.

409
00:18:21,640 --> 00:18:24,936
Oh, sorry, it's just a thing
that we do together, that's all.

410
00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:27,936
Come on, it's fun.

411
00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:28,937
Hello.

412
00:18:28,961 --> 00:18:30,936
Adrian?

413
00:18:30,960 --> 00:18:32,936
Um... I brought pizza.
We already have pizza.

414
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:35,936
Your message said, "No pizza."
Yes, "No pizza."

415
00:18:35,960 --> 00:18:38,936
Yes, as in, "We don't have any
pizza, no pizza, so bring pizza."

416
00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:42,936
No, no. "Pizza, we already have lots
of pizza, don't bring pizza."

417
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:44,136
Stop saying pizza!

418
00:18:44,160 --> 00:18:46,936
We're about to make
television history.

419
00:18:46,960 --> 00:18:52,936
For the first time on UK TV, we have
a top prize available of £1 million.

420
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:56,296
'And it could be won here tonight.

421
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,936
'No tricks, no traps.

422
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:02,960
Contestants can leave here tonight
with big cash prizes.

423
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,136
Two, tight in.

424
00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:10,960
Four, pull back.

425
00:19:16,960 --> 00:19:18,776
I'm gonna take the money, Chris.

426
00:19:18,800 --> 00:19:19,936
Just there.

427
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:22,136
God. SO dull.

428
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:24,936
APPLAUSE

429
00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:27,936
It gives me SO much pleasure

430
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:31,936
to give you a cheque for £64,000!

431
00:19:31,960 --> 00:19:34,936
Come on.
Why isn't it taking off yet?

432
00:19:34,960 --> 00:19:35,937
Where's the bloody tension?

433
00:19:35,961 --> 00:19:39,616
It's fine. It's fine, Paul,
it just needs bedding in.

434
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:40,936
Be patient.

435
00:19:40,960 --> 00:19:43,976
As Graham leaves
with 64,000 smackeroonies.

436
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,936
Good heavens. £64,000.

437
00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,936
That's ridiculous.

438
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,936
Shh, yes, we know.

439
00:19:50,960 --> 00:19:52,936
Come on.

440
00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:53,937
I'm not sure yet, you know.

441
00:19:53,961 --> 00:19:55,960
This all seems a bit dramatic.

442
00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:58,936
Let's see who got there quickest.

443
00:19:58,960 --> 00:20:02,136
The next fastest finger
is Rachel Da Costa!

444
00:20:02,160 --> 00:20:03,456
Come on, come on.

445
00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:05,936
'So, Rachel, what would you do
if you won £1 million?'

446
00:20:05,960 --> 00:20:10,936
I would clear all mine
and my fiance's debts,

447
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:14,296
sort out our business,
buy a house and get married.

448
00:20:14,320 --> 00:20:15,936
'You could get married
tomorrow morning.'

449
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,936
The business isn't in a situation
where we could do it at the moment.

450
00:20:18,960 --> 00:20:19,937
God, bless her.

451
00:20:19,961 --> 00:20:24,936
Well, you are only 15 questions
away from winning £1 million,

452
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:27,936
'so let's play...'
Just insane.

453
00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:28,937
For £100...

454
00:20:28,961 --> 00:20:30,936
For £1,000...

455
00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:31,937
For £8,000...

456
00:20:31,961 --> 00:20:35,456
Oh, uh... Humphrey Bogart's
cafe owner in Casablanca is...

457
00:20:35,480 --> 00:20:36,936
Sam, isn't it? "Play it again, Sam."

458
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,936
No. Common misconception.

459
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:40,456
It's Rick.

460
00:20:40,480 --> 00:20:41,936
Definitely, the cafe owner.

461
00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:42,937
Rick.
When did you last see it?

462
00:20:42,961 --> 00:20:44,936
I've never seen it, but, you know,

463
00:20:44,960 --> 00:20:46,936
you learn things,
encyclopaedias, books.

464
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,936
Might be nice to actually watch
the films now and again.

465
00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,936
Don't have the time.
Yeah, yeah, tricky.

466
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:54,936
'I'll go for Rick.
'Is the correct answer!

467
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:56,936
'You've just won £8,000!'

468
00:20:56,960 --> 00:20:59,936
For £16,000,

469
00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:04,936
which English county
has a border with only one other?

470
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:05,936
Devon,

471
00:21:05,960 --> 00:21:06,936
Norfolk,

472
00:21:06,960 --> 00:21:07,937
Cornwall,

473
00:21:07,961 --> 00:21:08,976
Kent?

474
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,936
God, look, she's shaking.

475
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,976
Why?
Cos she wants to get married.

476
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,936
Phone my dad.
Your dad?

477
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,296
LAUGHTER

478
00:21:16,320 --> 00:21:17,936
PHONE DIALLING TONE

479
00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:19,296
'Hello?'

480
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,936
Jack, uh... it's Chris Tarrant here.

481
00:21:20,960 --> 00:21:22,936
'Hello.'
Hello, Jack.

482
00:21:22,960 --> 00:21:24,776
We've got your daughter
live on the show.

483
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:26,616
She has £8,000.

484
00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,776
That wedding's getting
a little bit closer,

485
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:30,936
but she's not quite there yet...

486
00:21:30,960 --> 00:21:32,296
Move in closer.

487
00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:33,456
Closer.

488
00:21:33,480 --> 00:21:35,456
..so no pressure.
'I understand.'

489
00:21:35,480 --> 00:21:38,936
The next voice you hear
will be Rachel's.

490
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:40,936
Rachel, talk to your dad.

491
00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,936
Which English county
has a border with only one other?

492
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,976
Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall, or Kent?

493
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,936
I have no idea.

494
00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:49,616
GROANING

495
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:50,936
Oh, my God.

496
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,136
'I'm sorry, Rachel,
I can't help you on geography.

497
00:21:53,160 --> 00:21:54,936
'Um... Give me again.'

498
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:57,936
Devon, Norfolk, Cornwall or Kent.

499
00:21:57,960 --> 00:21:59,936
'Devon, Norfolk...'

500
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:02,936
Dad, help me.

501
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:05,936
'Take the eight grand, Rachel.'

502
00:22:05,960 --> 00:22:08,936
I'll take the money.

503
00:22:08,960 --> 00:22:10,936
Oh. Let's give her a big hand,
ladies and gentlemen.

504
00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,936
£8,000!

505
00:22:12,960 --> 00:22:13,937
APPLAUSE

506
00:22:13,961 --> 00:22:16,296
I mean, £8,000
is a very large amount of money.

507
00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:17,936
That wedding just got
a little bit closer.

508
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:20,936
Oh, Dad!

509
00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,936
Uh...

510
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:24,936
Just before you go,

511
00:22:24,960 --> 00:22:28,936
uh... suppose you had answered,

512
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:30,936
what would your answer have been?

513
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:32,456
Cornwall.

514
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,936
GROANING

515
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:36,296
Pfft!
HE LAUGHS

516
00:22:36,320 --> 00:22:37,936
Oh, Rachel.
It's not funny.

517
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:39,936
I'm sorry.
You would have won £16,000.

518
00:22:39,960 --> 00:22:41,936
I'm sorry, but look,
what am I saying?

519
00:22:41,960 --> 00:22:43,136
Oh, my goodness.

520
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:44,936
It works.

521
00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:46,936
Oh, grow a pair, would you?

522
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:48,136
We've got a hit on our hands.

523
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:49,936
Ha-ha!

524
00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:51,936
Well, if you want to be
in with a chance to play,

525
00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:53,960
all you have to do
is call this number.

526
00:22:57,960 --> 00:22:59,960
PHONES RING

527
00:23:04,960 --> 00:23:06,960
PHONE RINGS

528
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:11,936
All right, Claudia. Hit me.

529
00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:14,936
Hit you?
Kiss you, marry you, more like.

530
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:16,936
We got 9 million.

531
00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:19,320
9 million viewers!

532
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:23,960
PHONES RING

533
00:23:28,800 --> 00:23:30,960
Nothing to say
you can't try more than once.

534
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,936
'Hello.'
Hello.

535
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,936
'Hello and welcome to Celador
and the Who Wants To Be...'

536
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,640
Hello and welcome
to tonight's edition of...

537
00:23:43,960 --> 00:23:46,000
Paul Smith.
16 million.

538
00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,936
Walking away with a cheque for
£8,000!

539
00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:54,936
£64,000!

540
00:23:54,960 --> 00:23:59,936
£125,000.
Oh, my God.

541
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:02,936
I'm going on!
I'm going on the show!

542
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:04,936
Oh, my gosh!
Bravo!

543
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,616
How many times did you have to call?

544
00:24:06,640 --> 00:24:07,936
I don't know.

545
00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,936
50, maybe? Anyway, and you can talk.

546
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:11,937
Anyway,

547
00:24:11,961 --> 00:24:13,960
do you wanna be my guest?

548
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:17,160
HE LAUGHS

549
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,936
194 calls I made to get here.

550
00:24:24,960 --> 00:24:26,136
Arm and a leg it's costing me.

551
00:24:26,160 --> 00:24:28,936
Well, that's nothing.
I did over 300.

552
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,936
You just need a system, that's all.

553
00:24:30,960 --> 00:24:31,937
Not willy-nilly.

554
00:24:31,961 --> 00:24:33,936
Did you know that they publish
the call volumes

555
00:24:33,960 --> 00:24:34,937
on the website?
Website.

556
00:24:34,961 --> 00:24:36,936
Yes. You know, a few of us fans

557
00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,936
are starting to share
a little bit of intel.

558
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:42,776
You know, information
here and there.

559
00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,776
If you're serious about this,
and you have to be serious.

560
00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:47,936
I'm serious. Uh...

561
00:24:47,960 --> 00:24:50,936
We're serious.

562
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:51,937
What?

563
00:24:51,961 --> 00:24:53,936
I could give you the number
of someone who...

564
00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:55,976
sort of...

565
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:59,800
helps quiz fans onto the show.

566
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,960
CHRIS TARRANT: 'Put these days of
the week into alphabetical order.'

567
00:25:08,960 --> 00:25:12,960
Sunday, Wednesday, Monday, Thursday.

568
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,616
And the person who was fastest was

569
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,936
Maggie Pierce in four seconds!

570
00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:21,936
Well done, my darling. Come on up!

571
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,936
APPLAUSE

572
00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:25,936
And the winner is...

573
00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:26,937
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!

574
00:25:26,961 --> 00:25:28,936
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!

575
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:30,296
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!

576
00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:32,936
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

577
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:33,976
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire!

578
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,936
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

579
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:37,936
CHEERING

580
00:25:37,960 --> 00:25:39,936
19 million.

581
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:41,136
19 million!

582
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,936
'That's one third
of the population, Paul.'

583
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:45,296
Thank you, Claudia.

584
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:46,776
Paul!

585
00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,936
Reception just said
the Americans are here.

586
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,976
Jesus Christ, it's ABC,

587
00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:52,936
which is Disney.

588
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:54,936
It's owned by Disney.

589
00:25:54,960 --> 00:25:56,936
Basically, Mickey Mouse
is coming up the stairs.

590
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:57,937
Could you just...

591
00:25:57,961 --> 00:25:59,000
a little cool.

592
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,640
Mr Smith.

593
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:14,937
No, he didn't. He actually knelt?

594
00:26:14,961 --> 00:26:17,976
No, he did. He knelt on the floor.

595
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,936
We've just sold entertainment
to the Americans.

596
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:22,936
That is entertainment
to the Americans.

597
00:26:22,960 --> 00:26:24,936
The Americans!

598
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:25,960
Hey-hey!

599
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:30,936
'The game show
Who Wants To Be A Millionaire

600
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,936
'has now been sold to multiple
territories in the US.

601
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:34,937
'CEO Michael Eisner said,

602
00:26:34,961 --> 00:26:36,936
' "Who knew that the fate of ABC

603
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:39,456
' "would be saved by
a little British game show?"

604
00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:40,936
'It's helped the ABC network

605
00:26:40,960 --> 00:26:44,456
'leap from fourth in the ratings war
in the United States to first.

606
00:26:44,480 --> 00:26:45,936
'The millionaire show,

607
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,936
'which has attracted audiences
of 19 million in the UK,

608
00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,960
'where it's presented
by Chris Tarrant...'

609
00:27:04,960 --> 00:27:06,936
'Hello.'

610
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,776
Hello. Paddy Spooner?

611
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,960
Mr Spooner.

612
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,616
You weren't followed?
You came alone?

613
00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:38,936
Alone? No, you didn't say to come
alone, I've brought my kids.

614
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:40,616
You what?

615
00:27:40,640 --> 00:27:41,960
I've got my kids outside.

616
00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,160
You've brought your bloody kids.

617
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:47,960
Do you know who I am?

618
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:52,776
You're Paddy Spooner.

619
00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:53,936
You got in the chair three times,

620
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:56,936
even though the rules say you can
only sit in the hot seat once.

621
00:27:56,960 --> 00:27:58,936
No, three different versions.

622
00:27:58,960 --> 00:27:59,937
Three countries.

623
00:27:59,961 --> 00:28:02,936
Australia, Ireland, UK.

624
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:04,936
They don't check.

625
00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:06,960
There's a lot they don't check.

626
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,960
I've been working with some people.

627
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:17,936
An underground, sort of, community
has sprung up.

628
00:28:17,960 --> 00:28:22,936
Fans of the show that have grown
into an unlikely resistance

629
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:24,936
in the quiet little villages
of England.

630
00:28:24,960 --> 00:28:26,936
The perfect place
to plan our attack.

631
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,936
Um... Attack what?

632
00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:30,936
The show, of course.

633
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,296
Breaking into the show.

634
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:34,936
In the world of quizzing,

635
00:28:34,960 --> 00:28:37,936
the man who has the questions
may be king,

636
00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:39,936
but the man who has all the answers

637
00:28:39,960 --> 00:28:40,937
is God.

638
00:28:40,961 --> 00:28:44,296
To the nearest metre,
how long is the Humber Bridge?

639
00:28:44,320 --> 00:28:46,936
..is the Mississippi River?
..the Titanic?

640
00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:48,936
Of the thousands of people
that call the hotline,

641
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,936
the show selects
a random 100 numbers

642
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:53,936
to call back with a question

643
00:28:53,960 --> 00:28:57,616
that's all but impossible
to get exactly right.

644
00:28:57,640 --> 00:29:00,936
How many months in total
did Queen Victoria reign for?

645
00:29:00,960 --> 00:29:01,937
Months?

646
00:29:01,961 --> 00:29:03,136
Oh, heck.

647
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:04,936
What the makers hadn't predicted was

648
00:29:04,960 --> 00:29:08,136
that people would do
what they tend to do.

649
00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:10,936
Hello, Paddy? It's Maggie.
'Talk to each other.'

650
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:12,456
The "closest to" question is...

651
00:29:12,480 --> 00:29:16,936
The damn fools are using
the same "closest to" questions

652
00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:19,936
in rotation time and again.

653
00:29:19,960 --> 00:29:22,616
All you need is a network.

654
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:23,936
Or...

655
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:25,936
as we call ourselves,

656
00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:27,960
The Syndicate.

657
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:33,776
So, first trick is,
when you get the call back,

658
00:29:33,800 --> 00:29:35,936
pretend you're not who you are.

659
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:36,937
Pretend you're not in.

660
00:29:36,961 --> 00:29:38,936
This gives us time to prepare.

661
00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,936
PUTS ON DIFFERENT VOICE:
Hi. I'm afraid Adrian Pollock

662
00:29:41,960 --> 00:29:43,936
won't be in until later tonight.

663
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:45,976
Could you call back then?

664
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:47,936
They always say yes,

665
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:49,936
then you call me.
Hello, Paddy?

666
00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,936
And I...

667
00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:53,936
mobilise.

668
00:29:53,960 --> 00:29:56,936
And if you know
of any other potential clients

669
00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,936
that live too far away for me,

670
00:29:59,960 --> 00:30:02,936
I can always dispatch
a separate Syndicate member

671
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:04,936
from one of my regional hubs.

672
00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:09,936
How many months in total
did Queen Victoria reign for?

673
00:30:09,960 --> 00:30:12,976
I'm going to say 780.

674
00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:14,936
Once you're in the chair,

675
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:18,936
there's a final
highly bespoke service

676
00:30:18,960 --> 00:30:19,937
that we offer

677
00:30:19,961 --> 00:30:21,960
on your Phone A Friend.

678
00:30:23,960 --> 00:30:25,936
There's a room..

679
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,936
KNOCK AT DOOR
..in London where we gather.

680
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,936
The finest pub quizzers in the land

681
00:30:32,960 --> 00:30:36,960
secretly, silently, in solidarity.

682
00:30:37,960 --> 00:30:39,936
Now, you give the producers

683
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,616
one of a dozen special numbers
we have around the country,

684
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:46,936
all diverted here,

685
00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:49,936
to this one phone.

686
00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:51,936
I want to phone a friend.

687
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,936
All right. Uh... Who you gonna call?

688
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:56,936
My cousin Geoffrey.

689
00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:59,936
'Geoffrey? It's Chris Tarrant here
from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.'

690
00:30:59,960 --> 00:31:01,936
Yes?
'I've got your cousin Maggie here.

691
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:03,936
'I hope you're sat quiet and alone.

692
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:06,936
'The next voice you hear
will be Maggie's.

693
00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:09,936
'Geoffrey, which chemical element
is named...'

694
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:14,456
All we ask is a modest 25%.

695
00:31:14,480 --> 00:31:15,976
Ah.

696
00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:17,936
Well, I...

697
00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:20,936
I'm grateful for all the hints
and tips and things,

698
00:31:20,960 --> 00:31:23,936
but I'm not sure whether
I would need such...

699
00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:24,976
Well, your services.

700
00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:28,296
I'm sure that when the time comes,

701
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:30,960
you will make the right call.

702
00:31:36,960 --> 00:31:42,616
And the person who was fastest
was Owen Masters in 4.2 seconds.

703
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:44,800
THUNDER RUMBLES

704
00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:59,936
'Put these vegetables in order of
size from smallest to biggest.

705
00:31:59,960 --> 00:32:02,640
'Onion, Brussels sprout,
cabbage, pea.'

706
00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,936
OK, let's see who got it right
in the fastest time.

707
00:32:08,960 --> 00:32:11,960
It's Shelley Price in 3.1...

708
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:16,936
5.6. Not good enough.

709
00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:17,960
Again.

710
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,936
'And the person who was fastest
was Gus Colley in 4.5 seconds.'

711
00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:26,960
APPLAUSE

712
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:34,776
Yes!

713
00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:36,960
APPLAUSE

714
00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:38,937
Camera one.

715
00:32:38,961 --> 00:32:41,936
Right. This is Adrian Pollock.
We've seen him before.

716
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,936
It's his fourth time
in the Fastest Finger seat.

717
00:32:43,960 --> 00:32:46,936
Fourth? How? Wait, what?

718
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,616
Yeah, I know, something's up.
I thought everyone is chosen random.

719
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:50,960
And yet, there he is.

720
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:54,936
Well, a coincidence, then,
let's hope.

721
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,936
Yeah, but is it me, or have they
all started to look a bit...

722
00:32:58,960 --> 00:32:59,937
the same?

723
00:32:59,961 --> 00:33:02,936
All a bit white and well-to-do,

724
00:33:02,960 --> 00:33:05,936
middle classy and Southerny and...

725
00:33:05,960 --> 00:33:07,936
'Adrian Pollock from Wiltshire.'

726
00:33:07,960 --> 00:33:10,136
..white.

727
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,296
We'll have to tell Chris, cos it'll
be weird if he doesn't mention it.

728
00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,936
It's four times.

729
00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:17,776
He won't be happy.

730
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,480
Yeah, well, that makes two of us.

731
00:33:20,960 --> 00:33:24,960
'Half of ten, third of nine,
quarter of eight, fifth of five.'

732
00:33:26,640 --> 00:33:30,936
Who's the fastest?
Adrian Pollock in 4.3 seconds.

733
00:33:30,960 --> 00:33:34,936
Well, at least he can only
play the actual game once,

734
00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:36,960
so we'll never have to
see him again.

735
00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:40,937
You ready to play for £1 million?

736
00:33:40,961 --> 00:33:43,936
Yeah.
Come on, then.

737
00:33:43,960 --> 00:33:45,936
So, um... you won't believe this,

738
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:48,936
but this is actually Adrian's
fourth time in the studio,

739
00:33:48,960 --> 00:33:50,936
but his first time in the chair.

740
00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:52,136
You've been here more than I have.

741
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:53,936
LAUGHTER
Well, you know,

742
00:33:53,960 --> 00:33:55,976
some people wanna jump out of planes
and I just...

743
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:57,936
This is what I want to do.

744
00:33:57,960 --> 00:33:59,936
You're a strange, sad, little man.

745
00:33:59,960 --> 00:34:00,976
LAUGHTER

746
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,456
For 64,000, in the US and Canada,

747
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,936
Labor Day is celebrated
in which month?

748
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:12,960
You've used your 50-50, you've
just got left May or September.

749
00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:17,936
I will use my Phone A Friend.

750
00:34:17,960 --> 00:34:19,640
All right. Who you gonna call?

751
00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:22,960
Actually, um...

752
00:34:24,960 --> 00:34:26,936
Actually, uh...

753
00:34:26,960 --> 00:34:28,936
I was going to, um...

754
00:34:28,960 --> 00:34:31,136
I'd quite like to call my dad.

755
00:34:31,160 --> 00:34:32,800
Arthur.

756
00:34:34,320 --> 00:34:37,320
We, uh... Well, quizzes are
a family thing, you know.

757
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:39,937
PHONE RINGS

758
00:34:39,961 --> 00:34:42,136
I bet it's him.
Oh, my God.

759
00:34:42,160 --> 00:34:44,136
Must be in the chair. Oh, my God.

760
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,936
You ready?

761
00:34:46,960 --> 00:34:49,616
Is Uncle Adrian
going to be a millionaire?

762
00:34:49,640 --> 00:34:51,616
'Hello.'

763
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,976
Well, you have to be really clever
for that, so we'll see.

764
00:34:55,000 --> 00:34:57,456
The most extraordinary thing
has happened.

765
00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:58,936
You remember your son, Adrian?

766
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,936
Well, he's finally made it into the
chair, but he does need your help.

767
00:35:01,960 --> 00:35:04,296
Now, the next voice you hear
will be Adrian's.

768
00:35:04,320 --> 00:35:06,936
Adrian, you've got 30 seconds.

769
00:35:06,960 --> 00:35:07,937
Go.

770
00:35:07,961 --> 00:35:09,936
Hi, Dad. In the USA and Canada,

771
00:35:09,960 --> 00:35:12,936
Labor Day is celebrated
in which month?

772
00:35:12,960 --> 00:35:14,936
Is it May or September?

773
00:35:14,960 --> 00:35:16,936
Um...

774
00:35:16,960 --> 00:35:18,936
I think...

775
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:19,936
May.

776
00:35:19,960 --> 00:35:20,937
'If I had to guess.'

777
00:35:20,961 --> 00:35:22,136
How sure are you?

778
00:35:22,160 --> 00:35:23,936
Ooh...

779
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:24,976
50%.

780
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,936
LAUGHTER

781
00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:27,960
Thanks, Dad.

782
00:35:29,480 --> 00:35:31,296
When's Labor Day in America?

783
00:35:31,320 --> 00:35:32,936
September, Dad.

784
00:35:32,960 --> 00:35:33,960
Oh.

785
00:35:35,960 --> 00:35:36,960
Oh, no.

786
00:35:38,320 --> 00:35:40,616
Oh, dear.

787
00:35:40,640 --> 00:35:41,960
What a shame.

788
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,136
It's 32 grand, it's great.

789
00:35:46,160 --> 00:35:47,936
Thing is...

790
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:49,936
The thing is...

791
00:35:49,960 --> 00:35:52,936
it doesn't quite cover the, uh...

792
00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:57,136
debts that the business is running
at the moment and I, uh...

793
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,456
Debts? You...

794
00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:01,936
You don't normally have debts,
why didn't you say?

795
00:36:01,960 --> 00:36:06,640
Yeah, it's just this
dot-com bubble nonsense and...

796
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,936
I really thought I had a chance
in that chair, you know.

797
00:36:10,960 --> 00:36:12,960
I mean, I invested a lot!

798
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,960
What are you talking about?

799
00:36:30,960 --> 00:36:33,800
Holy mother of God.

800
00:36:34,960 --> 00:36:36,960
Adrian, what the...

801
00:36:38,160 --> 00:36:40,160
What is this?

802
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:48,936
Behold,

803
00:36:48,960 --> 00:36:50,960
the game changer.

804
00:36:53,960 --> 00:36:56,296
I made it. Fastest Finger First.

805
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:57,456
To practice on.

806
00:36:57,480 --> 00:36:59,936
I don't know what to say.

807
00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:01,776
Is this cheating?

808
00:37:01,800 --> 00:37:04,936
Certainly feels like cheating.
No, it's giving an advantage.

809
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:06,160
To myself.

810
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:09,936
And now to you, Diana.

811
00:37:09,960 --> 00:37:11,616
To carry on where I left off.

812
00:37:11,640 --> 00:37:13,960
But why would she want
anything to do with it? Thank you.

813
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:27,480
Mr Pollock!

814
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:30,960
Adrian Pollock?

815
00:37:33,160 --> 00:37:34,936
Yes?

816
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,800
When I saw you'd been on
four times, I thought, no.

817
00:37:38,960 --> 00:37:40,936
That's not luck,
that's something else.

818
00:37:40,960 --> 00:37:42,936
Yeah, but how did you find me?

819
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:44,136
Electoral register, simple enough.

820
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:46,936
Yeah, see, that...
that's a bit creepy.

821
00:37:46,960 --> 00:37:48,936
Yeah. I have to get on.

822
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,936
I don't know how,
I don't know why, this...

823
00:37:51,960 --> 00:37:52,937
COUGHS

824
00:37:52,961 --> 00:37:55,936
..this impulse took over me,
but it's just in me.

825
00:37:55,960 --> 00:37:57,936
I have to.

826
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,936
Please, please help me.

827
00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:01,936
I heard tell amongst the...

828
00:38:01,960 --> 00:38:03,936
the community
that you built a machine.

829
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,976
Yes. Well, my sister's got it,
she's going on the show too.

830
00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:08,936
Your sister's going?
Yeah.

831
00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:10,936
OK. Well...

832
00:38:10,960 --> 00:38:12,936
Could you make another one?
I'd pay you.

833
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:14,960
People will pay you.

834
00:38:17,960 --> 00:38:19,936
Let me have your number.

835
00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:24,296
So, in the hot seat,
we have Diana Ingram here with...

836
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:28,936
I do believe I recognise
your guest here tonight,

837
00:38:28,960 --> 00:38:29,937
it's your brother Adrian Pollock.

838
00:38:29,961 --> 00:38:31,616
I thought we got rid of you.

839
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:32,936
But here you are.

840
00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:36,936
Again. Back in the studio
for a fifth time.

841
00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:40,296
Still think it's a coincidence?

842
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:41,936
Call the network.

843
00:38:41,960 --> 00:38:42,937
Now.

844
00:38:42,961 --> 00:38:46,136
Husband Charles, Major Charles,
couldn't be here.

845
00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:47,936
He's at work.

846
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:49,936
Charles and Diana, eh?
Why does that sound familiar?

847
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:50,937
LAUGHTER

848
00:38:50,961 --> 00:38:53,616
Like a fairy tale. Well, started as
a fairy tale, didn't end as one.

849
00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:54,936
LAUGHTER

850
00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:57,296
Yeah, if you could
fit us in tomorrow.

851
00:38:57,320 --> 00:38:59,136
We just...

852
00:38:59,160 --> 00:39:01,960
We do really think
we may have a problem now.

853
00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:08,456
For £64,000...

854
00:39:08,480 --> 00:39:13,936
Who wrote the nonsense poem
The Hunting Of The Snark?

855
00:39:13,960 --> 00:39:15,936
GK Chesterton,

856
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:16,937
Hilaire Belloc,

857
00:39:16,961 --> 00:39:18,936
Edward Lear,

858
00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:21,936
Lewis Carroll?

859
00:39:21,960 --> 00:39:25,136
Remember, you don't have to play,
you've got £32,000 and that's safe,

860
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:27,960
whatever, and you do have a 50-50.

861
00:39:31,960 --> 00:39:33,936
Yeah, I'm going to play.
Edward Lear, final answer.

862
00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:36,936
Final answer?
Yes.

863
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:38,936
You had £32,000,

864
00:39:38,960 --> 00:39:40,936
you kept back one lifeline.

865
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,960
Desperately wanted
to beat your brother.

866
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:47,936
You've stayed at exactly
the same place.

867
00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:48,937
GROANING

868
00:39:48,961 --> 00:39:51,296
Oh, it was Lewis Carroll. I'm sorry.

869
00:39:51,320 --> 00:39:56,936
But you do go away
with a cheque for £32,000.

870
00:39:56,960 --> 00:39:59,456
Not a bad day's work.
APPLAUSE

871
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,936
A lot of money. That's £32,000.

872
00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:04,936
I mean, that's gonna be SO useful.

873
00:40:04,960 --> 00:40:06,936
I mean, we could...
Gosh, we could...

874
00:40:06,960 --> 00:40:09,936
I'm going to give Adrian some of it,

875
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:11,936
just to help with the business,
you know.

876
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:13,936
Quite a bit of it.

877
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:15,936
14 grand of it, actually.
Right.

878
00:40:15,960 --> 00:40:17,960
Sorry.
Are you asking me or telling me?

879
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:21,936
Right.

880
00:40:21,960 --> 00:40:22,937
Right. All right, yeah. Sure.

881
00:40:22,961 --> 00:40:24,936
Yeah, give him 14 grand.

882
00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:27,776
Hell, give him all of it. Why don't
you give him one of the children?

883
00:40:27,800 --> 00:40:28,936
Give him one of the girls.
What's going on?

884
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,936
Congratulations, darling.
We're giving you to Uncle Adrian.

885
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:34,000
Go and pack your bags.
OK.

886
00:40:35,960 --> 00:40:38,616
What was the line? "There's always
three of us in this marriage."

887
00:40:38,640 --> 00:40:40,936
That's not fair. He's my brother,
what else am I meant to do?

888
00:40:40,960 --> 00:40:41,937
Pff...

889
00:40:41,961 --> 00:40:43,936
I suppose I should tell you

890
00:40:43,960 --> 00:40:46,936
we're thinking of writing a book
about the show.

891
00:40:46,960 --> 00:40:47,937
Just a little simple how-to

892
00:40:47,961 --> 00:40:49,936
with all the hints and tips
and things we've learned,

893
00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:51,976
so we can pass them on
to new contestants.

894
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:55,936
Just all that cheating stuff?
It isn't cheating.

895
00:40:55,960 --> 00:40:56,937
Yes, but is it cheating?

896
00:40:56,961 --> 00:41:01,936
I've asked Ruth Settle to join us,
she's our head of PR at Celador.

897
00:41:01,960 --> 00:41:05,936
This is Nicola Howson, who's our
head of press, to do likewise,

898
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:08,936
because we can all agree that this
is a flipping nightmare. I'll say.

899
00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,936
I saw it for the first time
in a while last night.

900
00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:14,136
No offence. And OK, I'll say it.

901
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:15,936
It was effing boring.

902
00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:17,296
No offence.

903
00:41:17,320 --> 00:41:19,616
The contestants are all...

904
00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:20,936
They all look and sound...

905
00:41:20,960 --> 00:41:22,936
Yeah, well, they all talk
to one another as well.

906
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:26,936
It's like they know each other
and they're somehow...

907
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:28,936
helping each other.
Is that against the rules?

908
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:30,936
It's against
the spirit of the rules.

909
00:41:30,960 --> 00:41:32,936
They're getting on
and they're getting bolder.

910
00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:36,960
Now, we think it almost feels
like something's coming.

911
00:41:37,960 --> 00:41:39,456
We could start to cast it.

912
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,936
Most shows cast the contestants
based on interviews and...

913
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,936
No, we swore that we'd never do
that, we'd keep it democratic...

914
00:41:45,960 --> 00:41:47,776
You're saying
it's already been hacked,

915
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:49,936
that the network's most important
asset is under attack.

916
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:51,776
Well, this stops now.

917
00:41:51,800 --> 00:41:53,936
Find out who's doing it,
how they're doing it,

918
00:41:53,960 --> 00:41:56,936
and please,
stop them bloody doing it!

919
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:58,936
I have to go.

920
00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:00,936
Disappear. Run away for a bit.
Well...

921
00:42:00,960 --> 00:42:03,936
a while. I'm sorry.

922
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:05,936
Oh, my God, no. Adrian, don't...

923
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:07,936
I just need to come up
with a way to...

924
00:42:07,960 --> 00:42:09,136
to pay everyone back.

925
00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:10,960
Well, what about my 14 grand?

926
00:42:12,960 --> 00:42:14,936
I don't bloody believe it.

927
00:42:14,960 --> 00:42:17,936
OK. OK. Now, apart from us,
who do you owe money to?

928
00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:18,937
Uh...

929
00:42:18,961 --> 00:42:21,936
It's people like Jill and Michael
from the Rotary Club.

930
00:42:21,960 --> 00:42:23,936
There's John.
John?! The butcher?

931
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:26,936
Oh, for heaven's sake, I thought
you meant gangsters, Adrian,

932
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:28,936
people who'd break your thumbs,

933
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:30,936
not the butcher, the baker
and the candlestick...

934
00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,136
Just send them a text!

935
00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:33,936
Well, it's not your reputation,
is it?!

936
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:36,936
What about your responsibilities?
Your family?

937
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:39,936
They'll understand,
I'll call them from...

938
00:42:39,960 --> 00:42:42,936
wherever I am. I'll explain.

939
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:44,776
Come on, Adrian,
it's really bad form.

940
00:42:44,800 --> 00:42:47,936
Here's some of the people from
the community I've been talking to.

941
00:42:47,960 --> 00:42:48,936
They're yours now.

942
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:49,936
Oh, God.

943
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:50,937
I can't...

944
00:42:50,961 --> 00:42:52,936
What about our book?

945
00:42:52,960 --> 00:42:55,936
Well, then, you finish it, Diana!
You don't need me, you never have.

946
00:42:55,960 --> 00:42:58,000
You've always been the strongest.

947
00:42:59,960 --> 00:43:01,480
I'm sorry.

948
00:43:04,960 --> 00:43:05,960
DOOR SLAMS

949
00:43:08,960 --> 00:43:10,936
It'll be OK.

950
00:43:10,960 --> 00:43:12,960
He'll be OK.

951
00:43:16,960 --> 00:43:18,936
You must go on.

952
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:20,936
Onto the show.

953
00:43:20,960 --> 00:43:23,936
I've been on, Adrian has, it's...

954
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:24,960
it's your turn.

955
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,936
It's my turn, is it?

956
00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,616
To join the family business.

957
00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:33,936
I'd warned you, I...

958
00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:35,936
These mad schemes!

959
00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:37,936
I don't even like quizzes.

960
00:43:37,960 --> 00:43:40,936
The way you've been moping about,
weeks after your turn came and went,

961
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:42,936
d'you know how dispiriting
that is, Diana,

962
00:43:42,960 --> 00:43:45,936
to know that the only happiness
you get is from a bloody game show?

963
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:48,296
That isn't fair, that is...
It just isn't true.

964
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:49,936
It couldn't be further...

965
00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,616
And everyone has hobbies, Charles.
Pfft!

966
00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:54,616
PHONE RINGS
And I didn't want to bring this up,

967
00:43:54,640 --> 00:43:55,936
but...

968
00:43:55,960 --> 00:43:57,616
Let the machine get it.
Well, we have,

969
00:43:57,640 --> 00:43:59,936
as a family, rather...

970
00:43:59,960 --> 00:44:02,296
followed you around
wherever you went.

971
00:44:02,320 --> 00:44:03,976
Happily, I might add, willingly.

972
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:07,776
But now we, now I need you.

973
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:10,936
'..Charles Ingram. I'm calling you
from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.

974
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:12,136
'We're delighted to let you know

975
00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:13,976
'that you've been selected
by our computer

976
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:17,936
'to take part in our qualifying
round of "closest to" questions.

977
00:44:17,960 --> 00:44:22,960
'Give us a call back
on 0909 8790 555.'

978
00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:29,640
I may have already started calling
and leaving your name.

979
00:44:37,640 --> 00:44:40,936
What happens next is easy to dismiss
as simply exciting television.

980
00:44:40,960 --> 00:44:41,937
High drama.

981
00:44:41,961 --> 00:44:44,800
A bit of harmless fun
that got out of hand.

982
00:44:45,800 --> 00:44:47,936
But ignore the lights,
ignore the sound.

983
00:44:47,960 --> 00:44:48,937
COUGHING

984
00:44:48,961 --> 00:44:51,936
Unbelievable!

985
00:44:51,960 --> 00:44:53,936
This is theft.

986
00:44:53,960 --> 00:44:55,296
Plain and simple.

987
00:44:55,320 --> 00:44:59,936
An attempt to steal £1 million.

988
00:44:59,960 --> 00:45:02,936
We have all the evidence
and all of the testimonies.

989
00:45:02,960 --> 00:45:05,136
But as we go through
quite how they did it,

990
00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:07,456
beat by impossible beat,

991
00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:09,136
oh, you'll be shocked, yes,

992
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:11,960
perhaps even impressed a little...

993
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:14,936
..but you will be left in no doubt

994
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:16,936
that they are guilty of a crime.

995
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:20,936
A crime that carries with it

996
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,456
time in prison.

997
00:45:23,480 --> 00:45:25,640
APPLAUSE
All right?

998
00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:28,960
All right?

999
00:45:32,960 --> 00:45:34,000
COUGHS

1000
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:39,936
Right, Major Charles Ingram,

1001
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:41,296
are you ready to play...

1002
00:45:41,320 --> 00:45:44,960
DRAMATIC THEME