1
00:00:38,568 --> 00:00:40,370
When I was 10,

2
00:00:40,404 --> 00:00:43,340
after my mum ran off
with the paediatrician,

3
00:00:43,373 --> 00:00:44,409
I killed a squirrel.

4
00:00:45,811 --> 00:00:47,813
I wanted it to feel pain.

5
00:00:49,648 --> 00:00:52,184
My father decided I was
going to be a murderer.

6
00:00:53,086 --> 00:00:55,521
He sat me down with a
cup of tea and asked me.

7
00:00:55,554 --> 00:00:57,657
I said, "No, of course not.

8
00:00:57,691 --> 00:00:59,291
"I'm going to be a healer."

9
00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:42,607
- Hi.
- Oh, holy shit!

10
00:01:42,641 --> 00:01:43,475
You mind me jump?

11
00:01:43,508 --> 00:01:44,542
Who are you?

12
00:01:47,981 --> 00:01:48,915
Frankie James.

13
00:01:50,382 --> 00:01:51,685
From Burberry.

14
00:01:51,718 --> 00:01:52,518
Well.

15
00:01:53,687 --> 00:01:54,888
I model.

16
00:01:54,921 --> 00:01:57,457
I get that you're not
exactly the demographic.

17
00:01:57,491 --> 00:01:58,358
Oh, no, sorry.

18
00:01:58,391 --> 00:01:59,761
I'm just going to film.

19
00:01:59,794 --> 00:02:00,560
Session.

20
00:02:02,029 --> 00:02:04,465
Uh, nice plaster.

21
00:02:04,499 --> 00:02:05,466
Oh, thank you.

22
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:06,501
They sell them in packs of 10.

23
00:02:08,536 --> 00:02:09,437
Great.

24
00:02:09,470 --> 00:02:10,438
Should we go in?

25
00:02:10,471 --> 00:02:11,339
Uh, well it doesn't look open.

26
00:02:11,372 --> 00:02:12,574
I was worried we had
the wrong address.

27
00:02:12,608 --> 00:02:13,877
Oh, no look.

28
00:02:13,910 --> 00:02:17,914
The Woman's Head,
Fleshmuch Lane, Barkshire.

29
00:02:17,947 --> 00:02:18,982
Oh, okay.

30
00:02:19,015 --> 00:02:19,950
Nice hair.

31
00:02:19,984 --> 00:02:21,986
Loved the Simpsons growing up.

32
00:02:22,019 --> 00:02:23,888
Yeah, it's not natural.

33
00:02:23,921 --> 00:02:25,588
Nor is why we're here.

34
00:02:32,596 --> 00:02:34,099
Geez, look at
this one's drother.

35
00:02:34,132 --> 00:02:35,599
He's got some style.

36
00:02:35,633 --> 00:02:37,602
What a way to
greet your patrons.

37
00:02:39,806 --> 00:02:40,840
Bartholomew III.

38
00:02:41,908 --> 00:02:43,508
Imagine being called Bart.

39
00:02:50,050 --> 00:02:51,084
You made it.

40
00:02:51,118 --> 00:02:52,586
I hope you're both hungry.

41
00:02:52,619 --> 00:02:54,055
Oh, starved as always.

42
00:02:54,088 --> 00:02:55,556
I'm on a diet.

43
00:02:55,589 --> 00:02:57,692
I'm not eating any gluten,
wheat, dairy, sugar,

44
00:02:57,725 --> 00:02:59,929
broccoli, anything fattening.

45
00:02:59,962 --> 00:03:03,065
Okay, well, shouldn't
be fattening at all.

46
00:03:03,098 --> 00:03:04,934
Hey, you got stuff, Lisa?

47
00:03:04,967 --> 00:03:06,434
Yeah, it's in the car,

48
00:03:06,467 --> 00:03:08,872
but I'm not too
sure about all this.

49
00:03:08,905 --> 00:03:11,041
Lisa, darling, trust me.

50
00:03:11,074 --> 00:03:13,576
This dinner's gonna
change your life.

51
00:03:13,609 --> 00:03:15,111
Sorry, who are you?

52
00:03:15,145 --> 00:03:16,681
Ian, Ian Bartholomew IV.

53
00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:19,482
Hi Bart.

54
00:03:19,516 --> 00:03:21,551
So what happens now?

55
00:03:21,585 --> 00:03:22,419
Get the curtains.

56
00:04:06,469 --> 00:04:07,738
Loner.

57
00:04:07,771 --> 00:04:12,043
No wife, no son,
my lineage ruined.

58
00:04:12,076 --> 00:04:15,579
You inconsiderate little shit.

59
00:04:15,612 --> 00:04:16,848
Well good evening, father.

60
00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:18,482
I made it just the
way you like it.

61
00:04:31,898 --> 00:04:33,465
And action.

62
00:04:44,545 --> 00:04:45,180
Look up.

63
00:04:47,249 --> 00:04:49,650
Five minutes
to the shoe, Frankie.

64
00:04:49,685 --> 00:04:51,053
Also there's a meet
and greet later

65
00:04:51,086 --> 00:04:53,488
with some new faces
to the agency.

66
00:04:53,522 --> 00:04:55,158
Do you want me to tell
them to shove off?

67
00:04:55,191 --> 00:04:56,025
No, no.

68
00:04:57,526 --> 00:04:58,627
No, I'll help them out.

69
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:26,994
Oh God.

70
00:05:30,731 --> 00:05:33,034
Hm, this isn't the bathroom.

71
00:05:37,305 --> 00:05:40,075
Yeah well, what gave it away?

72
00:05:49,786 --> 00:05:51,587
You're useless.

73
00:05:51,620 --> 00:05:52,922
Pathetic, not even a man.

74
00:05:52,956 --> 00:05:55,893
I am ashamed to call you my son.

75
00:06:09,174 --> 00:06:11,711
Do you feel that yet, do you?

76
00:06:11,744 --> 00:06:13,713
Do you, you little shit?

77
00:06:13,746 --> 00:06:16,816
You useless, stupid boy.

78
00:06:18,751 --> 00:06:19,887
Are you open?

79
00:06:19,920 --> 00:06:20,888
Oh, yes.

80
00:06:30,698 --> 00:06:31,332
Frankie James?

81
00:06:47,017 --> 00:06:50,687
You're a bit of
a mess, aren't you?

82
00:06:56,394 --> 00:06:59,397
Looks a bit empty to me.

83
00:06:59,430 --> 00:07:01,133
My father always
wanted a meat only pub.

84
00:07:01,166 --> 00:07:02,701
You know, I don't want to have

85
00:07:02,734 --> 00:07:05,804
your bloody fruitarian,
vegetarian, vegan,

86
00:07:05,838 --> 00:07:08,607
gluten-free riffraff
in my God damned pub.

87
00:07:09,776 --> 00:07:11,144
He said they ruined everything,

88
00:07:13,079 --> 00:07:14,114
including his marriage.

89
00:07:15,916 --> 00:07:16,750
Hm.

90
00:08:08,942 --> 00:08:11,011
What are you screaming about?

91
00:08:11,044 --> 00:08:13,281
I can't remember.

92
00:08:16,918 --> 00:08:18,685
What was I screaming about?

93
00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,787
Oh, this might be
why I was screaming.

94
00:08:50,222 --> 00:08:51,256
Oh God.

95
00:08:54,327 --> 00:08:56,495
I feel like death.

96
00:08:57,797 --> 00:08:59,498
Yeah, well she
looks like death.

97
00:09:01,969 --> 00:09:02,803
Hello.

98
00:09:05,005 --> 00:09:06,406
I'm Ian.

99
00:09:06,440 --> 00:09:08,009
Yeah, we know, Ian.

100
00:09:08,042 --> 00:09:09,811
Wait, who are you again?

101
00:09:09,844 --> 00:09:11,145
I'm Lisa, and you?

102
00:09:11,179 --> 00:09:14,315
I'm Frankie, Frankie
James, for Burberry.

103
00:09:14,349 --> 00:09:15,250
Soon for Ralph Lauren, though.

104
00:09:15,283 --> 00:09:18,787
Oh, my son loves those
Ralph Lauren polos.

105
00:09:18,821 --> 00:09:20,289
Oh, I've got those
mints somewhere.

106
00:09:20,322 --> 00:09:21,557
If you'd just like to hang on.

107
00:09:21,590 --> 00:09:22,424
Polo shirts.

108
00:09:22,458 --> 00:09:23,526
What's that boy?

109
00:09:23,560 --> 00:09:24,894
It's Frankie.

110
00:09:24,928 --> 00:09:26,162
Hello, I'm Ian.

111
00:09:26,196 --> 00:09:27,897
Okay, fantastic.

112
00:09:27,931 --> 00:09:29,566
Is anyone gonna mention
the elephant in the room?

113
00:09:29,599 --> 00:09:31,802
Oh, I'm so sorry, yes.

114
00:09:31,836 --> 00:09:33,271
No, I'll take it down
to if it offends you.

115
00:09:33,304 --> 00:09:35,573
My, my father murdered
it in Cambodia.

116
00:09:35,606 --> 00:09:36,974
No, I think Mr Frankie James

117
00:09:37,008 --> 00:09:39,143
meant the dead woman over here.

118
00:09:39,176 --> 00:09:40,012
Oh.

119
00:09:41,413 --> 00:09:42,447
Oh no, that's not good.

120
00:09:42,481 --> 00:09:44,116
I've got a health
inspector due here.

121
00:09:44,149 --> 00:09:47,019
I think we have more pressing
concerns right now, Bart.

122
00:09:47,052 --> 00:09:48,354
Don't call me Bart, please.

123
00:09:48,388 --> 00:09:49,555
I'm sorry, it's a
slip of the tongue.

124
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:50,590
It's Ian.

125
00:09:50,623 --> 00:09:52,091
Okay, sorry, old man.

126
00:09:52,125 --> 00:09:54,127
Not so much of the old please.

127
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,529
I am never gonna get that old.

128
00:09:55,562 --> 00:09:57,197
Yeah well, it happens
to the best of us.

129
00:09:57,231 --> 00:09:58,899
And to the worst of us.

130
00:09:58,932 --> 00:09:59,933
Who is she?

131
00:09:59,967 --> 00:10:01,135
I don't know.

132
00:10:01,168 --> 00:10:03,070
I remember drinking
lots of beer.

133
00:10:03,103 --> 00:10:04,306
Yeah, me too.

134
00:10:09,044 --> 00:10:11,514
She's bleeding
into the mahogany.

135
00:10:11,547 --> 00:10:14,550
Yeah, well I doubt the
health inspector has a CSI kit.

136
00:10:14,583 --> 00:10:16,452
My father made that table.

137
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:17,520
I've seen bad tables.

138
00:10:17,553 --> 00:10:19,055
You can't say that.

139
00:10:19,088 --> 00:10:19,956
Well, you've
clearly never been

140
00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:22,159
to the
Museum of Furniture.

141
00:10:22,192 --> 00:10:23,460
Who has?

142
00:10:23,493 --> 00:10:24,928
You can't say that about
my father's furniture.

143
00:10:24,961 --> 00:10:26,163
Did we do coke?

144
00:10:26,196 --> 00:10:27,164
Is that what's
happened to my mind?

145
00:10:27,197 --> 00:10:27,999
I wouldn't touch that stuff.

146
00:10:28,032 --> 00:10:30,001
I mean, I can't.

147
00:10:30,034 --> 00:10:31,502
Why is she bleeding?

148
00:10:31,536 --> 00:10:33,571
Because she's
got holes in her.

149
00:10:33,604 --> 00:10:35,039
- Mm.
- Oh God.

150
00:10:35,073 --> 00:10:37,876
Perhaps somebody
should have a look.

151
00:10:37,910 --> 00:10:39,478
I can't, not me.

152
00:10:39,511 --> 00:10:41,113
I'm a haemophiliac, means
I've got a fear of blood.

153
00:10:41,146 --> 00:10:42,548
No that's.

154
00:10:42,581 --> 00:10:45,485
Old man Ian, you're up bud.

155
00:10:45,518 --> 00:10:46,886
You're a hemophobic.

156
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,188
No I'm not.

157
00:10:48,221 --> 00:10:49,889
I don't care about a
person's sexuality.

158
00:10:49,923 --> 00:10:51,024
Wow.

159
00:10:51,057 --> 00:10:52,259
She's been attacked.

160
00:10:52,293 --> 00:10:53,494
By what?

161
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:55,229
Uh, listen, I know
I'm an industry,

162
00:10:55,262 --> 00:10:56,564
but I'm never touching
this, just saying.

163
00:10:56,597 --> 00:10:58,332
No, no, no.

164
00:10:58,366 --> 00:11:00,102
These are bite marks.

165
00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:09,178
And in
other coincidental news,

166
00:11:09,212 --> 00:11:12,248
a big black rabid
dog has been heard

167
00:11:12,281 --> 00:11:15,284
around the outskirts
of Barkshire.

168
00:11:15,318 --> 00:11:17,654
And we ask anyone who may
know of its whereabouts

169
00:11:17,688 --> 00:11:20,991
to call our station on 0784...

170
00:11:21,024 --> 00:11:22,526
Whoa!

171
00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:23,528
What's that phone number?

172
00:11:23,561 --> 00:11:25,196
That hobbledy-hoy cut if off.

173
00:11:25,230 --> 00:11:26,197
Hobbledy?

174
00:11:26,231 --> 00:11:27,966
Listen, it was hurting my ears.

175
00:11:27,999 --> 00:11:30,068
My senses are very
sensitive right now.

176
00:11:33,072 --> 00:11:34,707
Are either of you Bear
Grylls by any chance?

177
00:11:34,741 --> 00:11:36,542
No, but I did drink
my own urine one.

178
00:11:36,575 --> 00:11:37,376
They told me it might work.

179
00:11:37,410 --> 00:11:38,611
Oh God, no, no.

180
00:11:38,644 --> 00:11:40,080
You don't want to drink urine.

181
00:11:40,113 --> 00:11:41,047
I've got some lovely
beer on tap here.

182
00:11:41,081 --> 00:11:42,416
Probably tastes the same.

183
00:11:42,449 --> 00:11:43,683
Look, does anybody
remember anything?

184
00:11:43,718 --> 00:11:45,652
Did we meet her?

185
00:11:45,685 --> 00:11:47,522
Can you remember
how she got here?

186
00:11:47,555 --> 00:11:50,491
Dead, on my father's
table, in my pub?

187
00:11:50,525 --> 00:11:51,526
Yes, haha.

188
00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:53,060
Hey man, it's your pub.

189
00:11:53,094 --> 00:11:53,961
You're liable for this.

190
00:11:53,995 --> 00:11:55,631
So, all right, I'm
getting out of here.

191
00:11:55,664 --> 00:11:57,499
Yeah but what about the dog?

192
00:11:57,533 --> 00:11:59,268
Barkshire's a big county.

193
00:11:59,301 --> 00:12:01,336
Actually, it's the 10th
safest and smallest county.

194
00:12:01,370 --> 00:12:02,237
It's safe?

195
00:12:02,271 --> 00:12:03,038
- Yes.
- Well that's,

196
00:12:03,071 --> 00:12:04,274
okay, well fine.

197
00:12:04,307 --> 00:12:05,108
I'm gonna go to the...

198
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,075
You can't leave.

199
00:12:06,109 --> 00:12:07,043
We have a dead woman here.

200
00:12:07,076 --> 00:12:08,311
We need to sort this out.

201
00:12:08,344 --> 00:12:09,546
Ah, probably
just been roofied!

202
00:12:09,579 --> 00:12:11,014
Don't worry about it.

203
00:12:11,047 --> 00:12:12,216
That's something
to worry about.

204
00:12:12,249 --> 00:12:14,719
No no no, it
happens all the time.

205
00:12:14,753 --> 00:12:16,587
Honestly, one time I woke up

206
00:12:16,620 --> 00:12:18,622
next to three naked
men, a loaded gun,

207
00:12:18,656 --> 00:12:21,026
purple crayon,
and a sore throat.

208
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,029
But you know, once
I got a conscience

209
00:12:24,062 --> 00:12:25,297
and started saying no to drugs

210
00:12:25,330 --> 00:12:27,332
all the endorsements
started saying no to me.

211
00:12:27,366 --> 00:12:30,269
Do you know you've got
some red dots on your face?

212
00:12:30,303 --> 00:12:31,270
No!

213
00:12:31,304 --> 00:12:32,371
- Oh my God!
- No, listen.

214
00:12:32,405 --> 00:12:34,507
Don't worry, it's only
ketchup or, a little blood.

215
00:12:34,540 --> 00:12:36,210
Don't worry, it'll wipe off.

216
00:12:36,243 --> 00:12:37,511
Oh my God.

217
00:12:37,544 --> 00:12:39,413
These millennials
are so sensitive.

218
00:12:39,446 --> 00:12:44,018
- Yeah, tell me about it.
- Oh oh oh, no.

219
00:12:44,052 --> 00:12:46,221
Oh no, I'm a monster.

220
00:12:46,254 --> 00:12:50,726
I'm a, I'm a brutish,
ugly, normal person.

221
00:12:50,759 --> 00:12:51,694
That's what I am.

222
00:12:51,728 --> 00:12:53,662
Now, um, Frankie, isn't it?

223
00:12:53,696 --> 00:12:55,531
If it's any consolation,

224
00:12:55,564 --> 00:12:59,201
we're all of us a little bit
ugly in some way or another.

225
00:12:59,235 --> 00:13:01,571
Look, I think the
monster might be out there.

226
00:13:03,507 --> 00:13:05,208
Come eat me now, rabid dog.

227
00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,076
Come eat me now.

228
00:13:08,212 --> 00:13:10,114
Oh, just, would you
just calm down, Frankie?

229
00:13:10,147 --> 00:13:11,516
It's not going to happen to us.

230
00:13:11,549 --> 00:13:13,718
We just need to do something.

231
00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:15,052
Oh, police.

232
00:13:15,086 --> 00:13:15,822
We'll call the police.

233
00:13:15,855 --> 00:13:17,222
Oh no, no.

234
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:19,424
I don't think
that's a good idea.

235
00:13:19,458 --> 00:13:21,627
I, I suggest we Google it.

236
00:13:21,660 --> 00:13:23,095
Google what?

237
00:13:23,128 --> 00:13:24,798
How to dispose of a dead body.

238
00:13:24,832 --> 00:13:25,632
Oh God.

239
00:13:25,665 --> 00:13:26,499
How to dispose of her?

240
00:13:26,533 --> 00:13:28,368
She's barely even cold.

241
00:13:32,874 --> 00:13:35,376
Oh God, she's
actually freezing.

242
00:13:35,409 --> 00:13:37,311
Wait, she just moved.

243
00:13:37,344 --> 00:13:38,279
Yeah, don't be an idiot.

244
00:13:38,312 --> 00:13:39,314
No no no no no, seriously,

245
00:13:39,347 --> 00:13:40,415
her chest just moved.

246
00:13:40,448 --> 00:13:42,818
Yeah, I think that's
because Ian was touching her.

247
00:13:46,588 --> 00:13:49,125
No, that's my
father's curtain.

248
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:53,129
Oh great.

249
00:13:53,162 --> 00:13:55,465
Oh yeah yeah, now we're
tucking her in for bedtime.

250
00:13:55,499 --> 00:13:56,633
What is going on?

251
00:13:56,667 --> 00:13:57,869
Someone's been murdered.

252
00:13:57,902 --> 00:13:59,169
We need you to call the police.

253
00:13:59,202 --> 00:14:01,204
That's not a good idea.

254
00:14:01,238 --> 00:14:02,306
Holy shit.

255
00:14:02,339 --> 00:14:04,108
You're the murderer, aren't you?

256
00:14:04,142 --> 00:14:05,276
And you're gonna
kill us now, too.

257
00:14:05,310 --> 00:14:06,678
I am not the murderer.

258
00:14:06,711 --> 00:14:09,748
Wait, oh, well
I mean, actually,

259
00:14:09,782 --> 00:14:12,184
any of us can be the murderer.

260
00:14:13,485 --> 00:14:17,189
You, old man Ian, you
could be the murderer.

261
00:14:17,222 --> 00:14:20,460
You, lady, uh, who's name
I can't remember right now.

262
00:14:20,493 --> 00:14:21,762
You could be the murderer.

263
00:14:21,796 --> 00:14:23,563
Even I could be the murderer.

264
00:14:23,597 --> 00:14:25,465
But, no, I can't be the murderer

265
00:14:25,498 --> 00:14:28,269
because the prison, I can't.

266
00:14:28,302 --> 00:14:31,472
I will never get a Ralph Lauren
contract with prison skin.

267
00:14:31,505 --> 00:14:33,875
Do they even have moisturiser
in the commissary?

268
00:14:33,909 --> 00:14:35,277
I don't even know.

269
00:14:36,779 --> 00:14:37,847
It's Lisa, by the way.

270
00:14:37,880 --> 00:14:39,782
Okay, it's nice
to meet you, Lisa.

271
00:14:43,653 --> 00:14:46,289
Lisa, I couldn't
help wondering,

272
00:14:46,322 --> 00:14:48,625
um, you're not wearing
a wedding ring.

273
00:14:50,794 --> 00:14:52,931
That's what you noticed
throughout all of this?

274
00:14:52,964 --> 00:14:54,298
So you don't have one?

275
00:14:54,331 --> 00:14:55,432
- Have what?
- Husband.

276
00:14:55,466 --> 00:14:56,433
Uh, I'm recently divorced.

277
00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:57,802
I do have a son.

278
00:14:57,836 --> 00:14:59,738
Ah yes, no I've got to
carry on my lineage, too.

279
00:14:59,772 --> 00:15:02,875
Yes, that's not
really why I have a.

280
00:15:02,908 --> 00:15:04,509
Perhaps you'd like
to come for a drink

281
00:15:04,542 --> 00:15:06,879
after all this blows over.

282
00:15:06,912 --> 00:15:09,916
What, you mean after all the
dead woman stuff blows over?

283
00:15:11,283 --> 00:15:12,284
Yeah.

284
00:15:12,318 --> 00:15:12,953
This is too painful.

285
00:15:12,986 --> 00:15:14,286
I'm calling the police.

286
00:15:15,455 --> 00:15:16,858
Uh, it won't work.

287
00:15:18,258 --> 00:15:19,726
What's the point in it then?

288
00:15:19,761 --> 00:15:20,594
Ambience.

289
00:15:21,963 --> 00:15:24,666
What are we gonna
do about the woman?

290
00:15:24,699 --> 00:15:25,733
Ah.

291
00:15:28,937 --> 00:15:30,304
What about her?

292
00:15:30,338 --> 00:15:33,275
How do we explain it to them?

293
00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:34,744
The dog got her.

294
00:15:34,778 --> 00:15:36,980
But does anyone remember
us seeing the dog?

295
00:15:37,013 --> 00:15:38,414
No no, I.

296
00:15:38,447 --> 00:15:39,616
Does anybody
remember anything?

297
00:15:41,284 --> 00:15:44,487
I don't remember
seeing anything at all.

298
00:15:44,521 --> 00:15:46,389
Exactly, we'll just
make something up.

299
00:15:47,725 --> 00:15:50,829
The police will
know if we're lying.

300
00:15:50,862 --> 00:15:53,364
We can't knock the
intelligence of the police.

301
00:16:02,041 --> 00:16:03,609
Hello, hello, hello.

302
00:16:03,643 --> 00:16:05,611
Sergeant Bobby speaking.

303
00:16:05,645 --> 00:16:08,414
You're friendly
neighbourhood policeman.

304
00:16:08,448 --> 00:16:11,385
Unfortunately we can't come
to the phone right now,

305
00:16:11,418 --> 00:16:12,553
but we would appreciate it

306
00:16:12,586 --> 00:16:15,622
if you could leave a brief
explanation of your emergency

307
00:16:15,656 --> 00:16:20,662
and we will aim to get back
to you just as soon as we can.

308
00:16:20,695 --> 00:16:21,997
I got their voicemail.

309
00:16:22,031 --> 00:16:25,768
Hi, it's Frankie James of
Burberry, for Burberry.

310
00:16:25,801 --> 00:16:27,436
Soon to be Ralph Lauren though.

311
00:16:27,470 --> 00:16:30,774
We're actually at, what's
the name of the pub?

312
00:16:30,807 --> 00:16:32,742
Oh, Ian's Pub is fine.

313
00:16:32,776 --> 00:16:33,542
What's the name of the pub?

314
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:34,410
The Woman's Head.

315
00:16:34,443 --> 00:16:35,278
What's the name?

316
00:16:35,312 --> 00:16:36,747
The Woman's Head.

317
00:16:36,781 --> 00:16:37,614
What do you mean?

318
00:16:37,647 --> 00:16:38,548
What's going on with
the woman's head?

319
00:16:38,582 --> 00:16:39,483
What?

320
00:16:39,516 --> 00:16:40,818
No, The Woman's Head.

321
00:16:40,852 --> 00:16:44,489
The name of the pub
is The Woman's Head!

322
00:16:47,993 --> 00:16:48,994
At The Woman's Head.

323
00:16:49,027 --> 00:16:51,497
And someone's been murdered.

324
00:16:51,530 --> 00:16:52,431
Killed by a rabid dog,

325
00:16:52,464 --> 00:16:53,867
you must send backup
immediately, please.

326
00:16:53,900 --> 00:16:55,802
Please send backup
as soon as possible.

327
00:16:56,770 --> 00:16:58,437
And The Woman's Head is fine.

328
00:17:00,841 --> 00:17:02,275
So, the police aren't in.

329
00:17:03,443 --> 00:17:05,745
The dog knows we're here.

330
00:17:06,947 --> 00:17:09,416
It can smell us.

331
00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:11,285
And it will come back for us.

332
00:17:13,889 --> 00:17:14,990
I vote Ian.

333
00:17:15,023 --> 00:17:15,958
You got to go.

334
00:17:15,992 --> 00:17:16,926
We need to build a barricade.

335
00:17:16,959 --> 00:17:18,593
There, I agree with Lisa.

336
00:17:20,729 --> 00:17:22,765
Well I vote we get as far
away from here as possible,

337
00:17:22,799 --> 00:17:25,568
but sure, let's lock ourselves
in like sitting ducks.

338
00:17:25,601 --> 00:17:27,637
Well actually, ducks
are far more agile

339
00:17:27,670 --> 00:17:29,739
than most people
seem to imagine.

340
00:17:31,074 --> 00:17:32,709
Are you sure you're
not the murderer, Ian?

341
00:17:32,743 --> 00:17:35,079
I am most definitely
not the murderer.

342
00:17:45,557 --> 00:17:47,761
Come on then, furniture
museum, come and help.

343
00:17:50,629 --> 00:17:52,665
My my, my father
um, built that table.

344
00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:54,968
Please be careful with
my father's furniture.

345
00:17:56,103 --> 00:17:57,104
- Frankie.
- I was just trying

346
00:17:57,138 --> 00:17:58,605
to help with this terrible plan.

347
00:17:58,638 --> 00:17:59,439
Oh my God.

348
00:18:04,813 --> 00:18:06,380
So, lucky you.

349
00:18:06,414 --> 00:18:08,382
Looks like you've got
drinks after this.

350
00:18:08,416 --> 00:18:10,451
Yeah, what do
you think of him?

351
00:18:10,484 --> 00:18:11,788
You're not
seriously considering.

352
00:18:11,821 --> 00:18:13,022
Have you seen that?

353
00:18:13,056 --> 00:18:14,791
No, nothing like that.

354
00:18:14,824 --> 00:18:18,460
Just I, I think there's
something shifty going on.

355
00:18:18,493 --> 00:18:21,531
Yeah, he's a wacko loner
who lives in an abandoned pub.

356
00:18:21,564 --> 00:18:24,768
Raised by a father who
apparently built this floorboard.

357
00:18:26,203 --> 00:18:27,973
My, my grandfather
built this chair.

358
00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:31,176
Oh, my father
built this handle.

359
00:18:31,209 --> 00:18:32,944
My father built
this candlestick.

360
00:18:34,813 --> 00:18:39,085
Actually, uh, he did build
that candlestick holder.

361
00:18:39,118 --> 00:18:41,620
Yes, thank you.

362
00:18:41,653 --> 00:18:43,656
In fact, my father
built this whole pub.

363
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:46,392
It is a good pub.

364
00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:48,061
Sturdy.

365
00:18:49,562 --> 00:18:50,696
Yes, very sturdy.

366
00:18:50,730 --> 00:18:52,033
What wood is it?

367
00:18:52,066 --> 00:18:53,533
Uh, oak?

368
00:18:53,567 --> 00:18:55,636
My father would never
make a pub out of oak.

369
00:18:59,674 --> 00:19:01,409
No, that's enough.

370
00:19:03,078 --> 00:19:04,880
Right.

371
00:19:04,914 --> 00:19:05,781
Now what?

372
00:19:05,814 --> 00:19:06,748
Well that's it.

373
00:19:06,782 --> 00:19:07,583
We've barricaded the pub.

374
00:19:07,616 --> 00:19:08,517
Nothing can get in.

375
00:19:11,888 --> 00:19:12,721
Or out.

376
00:19:14,958 --> 00:19:16,559
There's always the windows.

377
00:19:17,727 --> 00:19:18,662
Oh my God!

378
00:19:18,695 --> 00:19:19,529
Just, I just saw something.

379
00:19:19,562 --> 00:19:21,531
It was big and black
and moving fast.

380
00:19:21,564 --> 00:19:24,836
- Where?
- Just through the window.

381
00:19:24,870 --> 00:19:25,904
It was growling.

382
00:19:25,938 --> 00:19:27,638
As if it wanted to eat us.

383
00:19:27,672 --> 00:19:28,506
Right.

384
00:19:31,543 --> 00:19:33,146
Uh, I agree with Lisa.

385
00:19:33,179 --> 00:19:34,147
It was a dog.

386
00:19:34,180 --> 00:19:35,181
Oh this is ridiculous.

387
00:19:37,616 --> 00:19:38,550
See, nothing.

388
00:19:40,586 --> 00:19:41,621
Oh God!

389
00:19:41,654 --> 00:19:43,723
Okay, yeah.

390
00:19:43,756 --> 00:19:45,960
Well, at least this
is a better way to die.

391
00:19:45,993 --> 00:19:47,929
A better way?

392
00:19:47,963 --> 00:19:48,997
Better way than what?

393
00:19:49,030 --> 00:19:51,032
It's just better.

394
00:19:51,066 --> 00:19:52,233
Than what?

395
00:19:52,267 --> 00:19:56,604
Well, I never thought that
I'd be hunted by a wild animal.

396
00:19:56,638 --> 00:19:58,140
That's why I never
left Barkshire.

397
00:19:58,174 --> 00:20:00,242
Oh my god, you've
never left the county?

398
00:20:00,276 --> 00:20:02,144
My father said it was
the most terrifying thing

399
00:20:02,178 --> 00:20:03,713
being hunted by a wild animal.

400
00:20:03,746 --> 00:20:05,681
I find Barkshire just the
right side of wild for me.

401
00:20:05,715 --> 00:20:07,918
You've never been to the city.

402
00:20:07,951 --> 00:20:09,685
It makes sense, to be honest.

403
00:20:09,719 --> 00:20:11,688
Do you think,

404
00:20:11,722 --> 00:20:13,958
the dead body smell
is attracting it?

405
00:20:13,992 --> 00:20:15,159
I agree with Lisa.

406
00:20:15,193 --> 00:20:17,661
You have to stop
agreeing with me.

407
00:20:17,694 --> 00:20:19,530
Maybe we should move her.

408
00:20:19,564 --> 00:20:20,199
To where?

409
00:20:23,035 --> 00:20:24,769
I have an ice cream freezer.

410
00:20:29,809 --> 00:20:30,676
Will she fit?

411
00:20:30,709 --> 00:20:31,744
She's quite long.

412
00:20:31,777 --> 00:20:32,879
You mean tall.

413
00:20:32,912 --> 00:20:35,116
No, I've only seen her
horizontally, so I mean long.

414
00:20:35,149 --> 00:20:36,917
I've haven't had
long is such a while.

415
00:20:38,819 --> 00:20:40,221
I've got ice cream in there.

416
00:20:40,254 --> 00:20:41,288
One,

417
00:20:41,322 --> 00:20:42,655
two,

418
00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:43,524
three.

419
00:20:48,263 --> 00:20:49,097
She's heavy.

420
00:20:49,131 --> 00:20:51,100
Yeah, well rigour
mortis has set in.

421
00:20:51,134 --> 00:20:52,667
She won't fit in
if she can't bend.

422
00:20:52,701 --> 00:20:54,237
And that is if we
could lift her.

423
00:20:54,270 --> 00:20:56,638
Which we can't because
you're weak as fuck, Ian.

424
00:20:56,671 --> 00:20:57,840
Yeah, just forget it.

425
00:20:57,874 --> 00:21:00,110
You're
weak, little boy.

426
00:21:00,144 --> 00:21:02,846
You useless swine.

427
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:03,947
You fucking...

428
00:21:03,981 --> 00:21:05,015
I'm trying!

429
00:21:07,118 --> 00:21:07,952
What?

430
00:21:22,835 --> 00:21:23,937
It's your birthday.

431
00:21:23,970 --> 00:21:25,005
Nope.

432
00:21:25,038 --> 00:21:26,973
Miracle cure says it is.

433
00:21:27,007 --> 00:21:29,009
Well, so it's my birthday.

434
00:21:29,042 --> 00:21:30,010
What's it matter?

435
00:21:30,043 --> 00:21:30,912
It does matter, actually.

436
00:21:30,945 --> 00:21:32,246
It means that your
cells are ever decaying.

437
00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,881
Ever producing harmful toxins.

438
00:21:33,915 --> 00:21:34,714
You're body is growing too much.

439
00:21:34,748 --> 00:21:36,050
Shut up.

440
00:21:36,084 --> 00:21:37,617
Yeah don't believe
a word he says, Lisa.

441
00:21:37,651 --> 00:21:39,288
I think you're as beautiful
as the day you were born.

442
00:21:45,660 --> 00:21:46,295
That's a weird thing to say.

443
00:21:46,328 --> 00:21:47,663
Why?

444
00:21:47,696 --> 00:21:48,998
It's a compliment.

445
00:21:49,032 --> 00:21:50,300
It implies you were there
on the day she was born,

446
00:21:50,333 --> 00:21:52,268
and if that's true
than this is really...

447
00:21:52,302 --> 00:21:53,369
Oh come on, how could we be?

448
00:21:53,403 --> 00:21:54,972
Lisa and I are the same age.

449
00:21:55,940 --> 00:21:57,308
That's not a compliment.

450
00:21:59,776 --> 00:22:03,647
I can't believe I'm
spending my birthday

451
00:22:03,681 --> 00:22:08,752
with two random, potentially
murdering morons.

452
00:22:09,821 --> 00:22:11,057
I'm not a murderer.

453
00:22:11,090 --> 00:22:13,826
And, and Crispin
hasn't even called.

454
00:22:15,361 --> 00:22:16,295
Who's Crispin?

455
00:22:16,329 --> 00:22:17,964
Keep it in your pants, Ian.

456
00:22:17,997 --> 00:22:19,266
Crispin's my son.

457
00:22:19,299 --> 00:22:20,134
Shoot.

458
00:22:25,005 --> 00:22:26,406
I've got just the fix for you.

459
00:22:27,809 --> 00:22:29,144
Come on, Fluffy!

460
00:22:29,177 --> 00:22:30,278
My name's Frankie.

461
00:23:02,080 --> 00:23:03,248
I thought you said
you had a cake.

462
00:23:03,282 --> 00:23:04,416
It's a flan.

463
00:23:04,449 --> 00:23:06,051
I can see it's a flan.

464
00:23:06,084 --> 00:23:06,953
- Flan.
- Flan.

465
00:23:06,986 --> 00:23:07,887
- Flan.
- Flan.

466
00:23:07,921 --> 00:23:09,155
Flan.

467
00:23:09,189 --> 00:23:10,456
Who serves flan
for a birthday?

468
00:23:10,490 --> 00:23:11,391
Well, I didn't have
much pre-warning on this.

469
00:23:11,424 --> 00:23:12,258
- Yo.
- Oh!

470
00:23:15,829 --> 00:23:19,833
You're
in a mess, aren't you?

471
00:23:26,908 --> 00:23:27,842
- Hey.
- Oh!

472
00:23:27,876 --> 00:23:29,377
Holy shit, you made me jump.

473
00:23:29,411 --> 00:23:30,412
Who are you?

474
00:23:38,956 --> 00:23:41,791
I'm not too sure
about all this.

475
00:23:43,927 --> 00:23:44,995
♪ 'Cause she's a
jolly good fellow ♪

476
00:23:45,028 --> 00:23:46,763
♪ For she's a
jolly good fellow ♪

477
00:23:46,797 --> 00:23:48,099
Wait, where is she?

478
00:23:48,132 --> 00:23:49,300
Oh great, we're
singing "Happy Birthday"

479
00:23:49,334 --> 00:23:50,301
to a dead woman.

480
00:23:50,335 --> 00:23:51,302
That's not ironic at all.

481
00:23:51,336 --> 00:23:53,371
Why is that, not ironic?

482
00:23:53,404 --> 00:23:54,907
It is ironic.

483
00:23:54,940 --> 00:23:56,208
Well yes,
I know it's ironic.

484
00:23:56,242 --> 00:23:57,276
I was
being sarcastic.

485
00:23:57,309 --> 00:23:58,344
You just
said it was ironic.

486
00:23:58,377 --> 00:23:59,345
Oh for.

487
00:23:59,378 --> 00:24:00,212
Lisa, where the hell are you?

488
00:24:00,246 --> 00:24:02,214
Uh, I'm in here.

489
00:24:02,248 --> 00:24:03,416
Oh.

490
00:24:03,450 --> 00:24:04,818
♪ For she's a
jolly good fellow ♪

491
00:24:04,851 --> 00:24:06,453
♪ For she's a
jolly good fellow ♪

492
00:24:06,486 --> 00:24:09,823
♪ For she's a
jolly good fellow ♪

493
00:24:09,856 --> 00:24:11,959
♪ And so say all of us ♪

494
00:24:11,993 --> 00:24:14,328
Congratulations,
you're two years old.

495
00:24:14,362 --> 00:24:15,396
Actually, a health
inspector wouldn't want us

496
00:24:15,429 --> 00:24:16,998
to have it in the bar.

497
00:24:17,031 --> 00:24:18,232
We'd better have this
in the restaurant.

498
00:24:20,869 --> 00:24:22,404
♪ For she's a
jolly good fellow ♪

499
00:24:22,437 --> 00:24:24,439
♪ For she's a
jolly good fellow ♪

500
00:24:24,473 --> 00:24:27,510
♪ For she's a
jolly good fellow ♪

501
00:24:27,543 --> 00:24:31,848
♪ And so say all of us ♪

502
00:24:31,881 --> 00:24:34,017
That was mental.

503
00:24:36,253 --> 00:24:37,855
Right, I'll cut the flan.

504
00:24:37,888 --> 00:24:39,556
No, I think Lisa
should cut the flan

505
00:24:39,590 --> 00:24:40,924
as it is her birthday.

506
00:24:40,958 --> 00:24:42,092
No, it's a very sharp knife.

507
00:24:42,126 --> 00:24:43,561
You just don't want to give
us the sharp knife, do you?

508
00:24:43,595 --> 00:24:44,996
My knife isn't it?

509
00:24:45,030 --> 00:24:46,464
My father, no, he didn't
actually make this.

510
00:24:46,498 --> 00:24:48,900
- But he...
- You sound more and more

511
00:24:48,933 --> 00:24:50,335
like a murderer every day, Ian.

512
00:24:50,368 --> 00:24:51,270
It's okay.

513
00:24:51,304 --> 00:24:52,238
Ian can cut the flan.

514
00:24:52,271 --> 00:24:53,506
I'm not, I'm not a murderer.

515
00:24:53,539 --> 00:24:55,041
Yeah, well I'm not
a murderer either.

516
00:24:59,613 --> 00:25:00,414
Oh shit.

517
00:25:01,548 --> 00:25:02,516
Way to flan, Ian.

518
00:25:02,549 --> 00:25:04,418
We need to clean that up.

519
00:25:04,451 --> 00:25:05,619
Why?

520
00:25:05,652 --> 00:25:06,854
She's already dead.

521
00:25:06,888 --> 00:25:09,557
Because if they do a coroner
report and find flan on her,

522
00:25:09,590 --> 00:25:11,626
they're going to wonder
how it got there.

523
00:25:11,659 --> 00:25:14,562
It's not exactly like flan
was the murder weapon, is it?

524
00:25:24,974 --> 00:25:26,142
Oh, great.

525
00:25:26,176 --> 00:25:27,377
Shall we just add
tampering with the body

526
00:25:27,410 --> 00:25:29,212
to the list then
now then, shall we?

527
00:25:32,416 --> 00:25:35,152
And three more
reports of vicious animals

528
00:25:35,186 --> 00:25:38,522
in the last three hours
have been reported.

529
00:25:38,556 --> 00:25:42,127
We advise all locals
to lock their doors,

530
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:44,396
to cover up any smells or meat

531
00:25:44,429 --> 00:25:46,598
which might attract the animal,

532
00:25:46,631 --> 00:25:49,902
and to, most
importantly, stay in...

533
00:25:49,936 --> 00:25:50,636
Frankie!

534
00:25:52,538 --> 00:25:54,240
We're going about
this all wrong.

535
00:25:54,273 --> 00:25:55,509
Well thank
goodness you said it,

536
00:25:55,542 --> 00:25:58,011
because who serves
flan at a birthday?

537
00:25:58,045 --> 00:26:00,147
We shouldn't be
defending for the beast.

538
00:26:01,949 --> 00:26:03,651
We should be attacking it.

539
00:26:03,685 --> 00:26:05,987
Ian, where's your
father's rifle?

540
00:26:06,020 --> 00:26:07,956
Whoa, what rifle?

541
00:26:07,989 --> 00:26:09,991
The one of the portrait
of Bartholomew III.

542
00:26:10,024 --> 00:26:11,127
Which makes you the fourth.

543
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:12,995
Geez,
looks at this one's drother.

544
00:26:13,028 --> 00:26:14,230
Yeah,
dude's got some style.

545
00:26:16,365 --> 00:26:17,633
I remember that.

546
00:26:17,666 --> 00:26:19,636
It's hanging on a wall
in the guest bedroom.

547
00:26:19,669 --> 00:26:21,405
For ambience.

548
00:26:21,438 --> 00:26:25,308
But Ian Bartholomew IV,
that's a savage name, bro.

549
00:26:25,342 --> 00:26:26,644
Do you get bullied.

550
00:26:26,677 --> 00:26:28,579
It was my father's name.

551
00:26:28,613 --> 00:26:30,114
What's your name.

552
00:26:30,148 --> 00:26:31,649
Ian, just Ian.

553
00:26:32,517 --> 00:26:35,087
Are there bullets
for the rifle, Ian?

554
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:36,588
Yes.

555
00:26:36,622 --> 00:26:37,556
Perfect!

556
00:26:37,589 --> 00:26:39,057
Let's shoot this dog in the face

557
00:26:39,091 --> 00:26:40,159
and get the hell
back to the city.

558
00:26:40,192 --> 00:26:41,994
How do we get to
the bedroom, Ian?

559
00:26:58,045 --> 00:26:58,713
Out there.

560
00:26:59,849 --> 00:27:02,217
Well, we better look for
some weapons in here then.

561
00:27:23,141 --> 00:27:24,242
Yes!

562
00:27:24,275 --> 00:27:26,144
So uh, Lisa.

563
00:27:26,177 --> 00:27:27,178
- Oh hello.
- Hi.

564
00:27:30,281 --> 00:27:31,617
Are you from around here?

565
00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:33,085
Uh, no, not really.

566
00:27:33,118 --> 00:27:34,487
I'm South London based.

567
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:36,121
Oh, in a clinic.

568
00:27:36,155 --> 00:27:37,456
How do you know that?

569
00:27:37,490 --> 00:27:39,593
I think you said
you were a doctor.

570
00:27:39,626 --> 00:27:41,228
Don't remember
telling you that.

571
00:27:44,798 --> 00:27:47,335
Your son, how old is he?

572
00:27:47,368 --> 00:27:50,037
Oh, too old to bother
about me anymore.

573
00:27:50,071 --> 00:27:51,138
I need a son.

574
00:27:51,172 --> 00:27:52,106
You need a son?

575
00:27:52,139 --> 00:27:53,140
Can you still have children?

576
00:27:53,174 --> 00:27:54,275
Whoa!

577
00:27:54,308 --> 00:27:55,644
Just that, you know, your age,

578
00:27:55,677 --> 00:27:57,346
and everything really.

579
00:27:57,379 --> 00:28:00,249
I know how old I am, Ian.

580
00:28:00,282 --> 00:28:03,152
And thank you for reducing
my worth to a uterus.

581
00:28:03,186 --> 00:28:04,521
No, that's not what I meant.

582
00:28:04,554 --> 00:28:07,123
But you, my father,
he's most insistent.

583
00:28:07,156 --> 00:28:08,825
The line must go on.

584
00:28:08,859 --> 00:28:09,792
My father was...

585
00:28:09,826 --> 00:28:11,128
Frankie, what about this?

586
00:28:11,161 --> 00:28:12,563
We could strangle the beast.

587
00:28:12,596 --> 00:28:15,232
Oh yeah, check
out this bad boy.

588
00:28:15,266 --> 00:28:17,101
Think of the damage
I could do with this.

589
00:28:17,134 --> 00:28:18,235
Yeah.

590
00:28:18,269 --> 00:28:19,371
We're gonna need that gun.

591
00:28:19,404 --> 00:28:20,205
Oh no.

592
00:28:20,238 --> 00:28:21,473
You see, look.

593
00:28:21,506 --> 00:28:23,508
It hasn't been
fired for 20 years

594
00:28:23,542 --> 00:28:25,777
and even then it was a bad shot.

595
00:28:25,810 --> 00:28:27,246
How do we get to the bedrooms?

596
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:28,281
Well, doesn't the
kitchen connect?

597
00:28:28,314 --> 00:28:29,649
Oh yes, to the yard.

598
00:28:29,682 --> 00:28:33,719
But that, that door hasn't
been opened for 22 years.

599
00:28:33,753 --> 00:28:34,588
Why not?

600
00:28:34,621 --> 00:28:35,556
Oh, my father,

601
00:28:35,589 --> 00:28:38,225
shot it with a rifle and,

602
00:28:38,258 --> 00:28:41,228
it hasn't budged since.

603
00:28:41,261 --> 00:28:42,362
Why don't we just
break down the door then?

604
00:28:42,396 --> 00:28:43,831
My father built that door!

605
00:29:10,561 --> 00:29:12,330
I think Ian should go.

606
00:29:12,363 --> 00:29:14,165
He's the only one who
knows the floor plan.

607
00:29:23,776 --> 00:29:26,112
There we go, anyway, look.

608
00:29:27,313 --> 00:29:29,248
Now we all know the floor plan.

609
00:29:29,282 --> 00:29:32,653
Well, I'm not architect
but it looks simple enough.

610
00:29:32,686 --> 00:29:34,788
I think you'd make
an amazing architect.

611
00:29:36,190 --> 00:29:37,625
Oh.

612
00:29:37,658 --> 00:29:38,493
Right, I'll go.

613
00:29:38,526 --> 00:29:39,694
Okay.

614
00:29:39,728 --> 00:29:40,528
No!

615
00:29:40,562 --> 00:29:41,630
No, no let him go.

616
00:29:41,663 --> 00:29:43,398
He's the youngest,
he's the fittest.

617
00:29:43,431 --> 00:29:46,401
I would go but I'm afraid
my knees would cave in.

618
00:29:46,434 --> 00:29:48,437
Uh, it's three metres across.

619
00:29:48,471 --> 00:29:49,906
Yes, I know, but I'm
not allowed to run.

620
00:29:49,940 --> 00:29:51,374
Look, we'll both go.

621
00:29:51,407 --> 00:29:54,377
Ian, you stay and
look after the body.

622
00:29:54,410 --> 00:29:56,480
Yeah, stay and make
sure the dead body

623
00:29:56,513 --> 00:29:58,382
doesn't wander off while
we risk our lives for you.

624
00:29:58,415 --> 00:30:00,217
I know, but I'm not allowed.

625
00:30:00,250 --> 00:30:01,652
You don't have to do everything
a doctor says, you know?

626
00:30:01,685 --> 00:30:02,955
Yes you do.

627
00:30:02,988 --> 00:30:04,656
WebMD knows just as
much as a real doctor.

628
00:30:04,689 --> 00:30:06,324
Oh God, I hate
your generation.

629
00:30:06,357 --> 00:30:07,692
Lisa, Lisa, Lisa.

630
00:30:10,228 --> 00:30:13,232
Stay here, let the boy
look after himself.

631
00:30:13,265 --> 00:30:13,967
I, I better go with him.

632
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:15,534
He might accidentally

633
00:30:15,567 --> 00:30:16,402
shoot himself in the
foot or something.

634
00:30:16,435 --> 00:30:17,436
- Just.
- Oh.

635
00:30:22,475 --> 00:30:23,343
Be careful.

636
00:30:31,953 --> 00:30:33,521
Weird.

637
00:30:33,554 --> 00:30:36,591
There's barricade has
been useful so far.

638
00:30:39,896 --> 00:30:40,696
Limber?

639
00:30:40,729 --> 00:30:42,364
Loose as a lemon.

640
00:30:42,398 --> 00:30:43,766
I like your hair.

641
00:30:43,800 --> 00:30:45,501
Where did that come from?

642
00:30:45,535 --> 00:30:46,904
Looks good.

643
00:30:46,937 --> 00:30:48,838
Much better than it did before.

644
00:30:48,872 --> 00:30:49,839
It's weird.

645
00:30:49,873 --> 00:30:50,808
It's like you're glowing.

646
00:30:52,376 --> 00:30:53,210
Thank you.

647
00:30:54,812 --> 00:30:55,779
I think it's all clear.

648
00:30:55,813 --> 00:30:57,781
Yes, it looks good to me.

649
00:30:57,815 --> 00:30:58,683
Oh, hang on.

650
00:31:07,460 --> 00:31:08,895
Could have used that.

651
00:31:08,929 --> 00:31:10,997
I was just checking to
see if it's still out there.

652
00:31:11,031 --> 00:31:12,531
Right.

653
00:31:14,902 --> 00:31:16,670
It looks like it's all clear.

654
00:31:18,371 --> 00:31:19,306
Ready?

655
00:31:19,339 --> 00:31:20,407
To be mauled by a rabid dog?

656
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:21,274
No.

657
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:26,547
Shit, oh God.

658
00:31:26,581 --> 00:31:30,318
Shit shit shit
shit shit shit shit!

659
00:31:33,355 --> 00:31:34,389
Shit, oh.

660
00:31:34,423 --> 00:31:35,058
Did you hear that?

661
00:31:35,091 --> 00:31:36,658
I did, open the door!

662
00:31:36,692 --> 00:31:37,760
Turn it clockwise!

663
00:31:45,535 --> 00:31:46,972
Shut up, shut up, shut up!

664
00:31:47,005 --> 00:31:48,472
You could jiggle it.

665
00:31:48,506 --> 00:31:51,375
Just jiggle it a
little, could ya.

666
00:31:51,408 --> 00:31:52,043
Open it!

667
00:32:05,858 --> 00:32:08,427
Damn blood gets in everywhere.

668
00:32:37,794 --> 00:32:41,765
Lisa.

669
00:32:41,798 --> 00:32:46,104
Lisa.

670
00:32:46,138 --> 00:32:46,972
Lis,

671
00:32:48,006 --> 00:32:53,012
Lisa.

672
00:32:55,547 --> 00:33:00,553
Lisa, would you like to
go out on a date with me?

673
00:33:01,155 --> 00:33:02,156
Lisa, would...

674
00:33:02,189 --> 00:33:03,090
You get off me.

675
00:33:03,123 --> 00:33:05,059
'Cause you opened
the door just in time.

676
00:33:06,827 --> 00:33:08,796
I didn't even want to try
the anti-clockwise move.

677
00:33:08,829 --> 00:33:10,098
Bloody call that a move.

678
00:33:11,599 --> 00:33:13,400
Oh God, I've been
so close to death.

679
00:33:13,434 --> 00:33:15,737
I never really knew what
it actually felt like.

680
00:33:17,639 --> 00:33:21,710
It's strange, but I've
never felt more alive.

681
00:33:21,743 --> 00:33:22,980
I have.

682
00:33:23,013 --> 00:33:24,915
In Paris for fashion week.

683
00:33:24,948 --> 00:33:25,883
The catwalk.

684
00:33:25,916 --> 00:33:27,617
I was majestic.

685
00:33:27,650 --> 00:33:29,152
Perfect and cat like.

686
00:33:31,588 --> 00:33:32,190
I'm not scared anymore.

687
00:33:32,223 --> 00:33:33,457
I am.

688
00:33:37,728 --> 00:33:39,497
Tis been a long time
since I've been out

689
00:33:39,530 --> 00:33:42,067
on a first date, Lisa.

690
00:33:48,141 --> 00:33:49,209
No, it's true.

691
00:33:49,242 --> 00:33:51,177
I'm not scared of death.

692
00:33:52,611 --> 00:33:54,080
I just want to live.

693
00:34:00,553 --> 00:34:01,721
Oh God.

694
00:34:01,755 --> 00:34:03,491
Oh, your skin.

695
00:34:03,524 --> 00:34:05,894
It's just, it's glowing.

696
00:34:05,928 --> 00:34:08,030
Oh!

697
00:34:13,069 --> 00:34:14,736
I've always wanted a family.

698
00:34:16,805 --> 00:34:19,009
Wife, children.

699
00:34:20,244 --> 00:34:22,046
Frankie wasn't quite
what I expected,

700
00:34:22,079 --> 00:34:25,748
but I'm sure I dare say we
could whip him into shape.

701
00:34:27,518 --> 00:34:28,887
Good evening, sir.

702
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:30,889
Would you like
anything to drink?

703
00:34:30,922 --> 00:34:31,789
Oh hello, yes.

704
00:34:31,822 --> 00:34:34,793
Well, well we'll have
the red, thank you.

705
00:34:36,128 --> 00:34:37,829
That's a very wise choice.

706
00:34:39,165 --> 00:34:41,033
Could I say, what a lovely pair.

707
00:34:41,067 --> 00:34:42,970
Couple, what a lovely
couple you make.

708
00:34:46,806 --> 00:34:49,809
Oi, check out the
couple over there.

709
00:34:51,212 --> 00:34:53,513
That dude doesn't
know what he's doing.

710
00:34:58,052 --> 00:34:59,154
Voices.

711
00:34:59,188 --> 00:35:00,022
So.

712
00:35:01,023 --> 00:35:02,724
What a loser.

713
00:35:02,757 --> 00:35:04,159
Oi, oi, oi,

714
00:35:04,193 --> 00:35:07,529
he's an absolute
spunk bubbling...

715
00:35:07,563 --> 00:35:08,898
Little red for you, sir.

716
00:35:12,601 --> 00:35:14,137
Oh uh, no, thank you very much.

717
00:35:14,171 --> 00:35:16,840
We've decided to
stay with the white.

718
00:35:20,577 --> 00:35:21,878
- Now quick, hurry.
- Oh.

719
00:35:27,352 --> 00:35:29,587
Oh yeah, oh yeah!

720
00:35:29,620 --> 00:35:30,256
Oh, oh!

721
00:35:33,625 --> 00:35:35,161
Oh my, shitting, God!

722
00:35:36,095 --> 00:35:37,863
You, oh, no, oh, woo!

723
00:35:40,733 --> 00:35:42,936
It's, like, a ride!

724
00:35:45,039 --> 00:35:46,073
That's it!

725
00:35:50,278 --> 00:35:52,981
Lisa, yes!

726
00:36:08,398 --> 00:36:09,232
Lisa.

727
00:36:16,207 --> 00:36:16,941
Yeah, I didn't feel it.

728
00:36:16,974 --> 00:36:18,377
I did.

729
00:36:18,410 --> 00:36:19,311
Oh God, for the
first time in years.

730
00:36:19,344 --> 00:36:20,812
Oh, look, I found it!

731
00:36:20,845 --> 00:36:22,713
I beg to differ,
I found it first.

732
00:36:22,747 --> 00:36:23,382
Oh, the gun.

733
00:36:23,415 --> 00:36:24,749
I think it's loaded.

734
00:36:26,718 --> 00:36:27,554
What?

735
00:36:27,586 --> 00:36:31,157
Oh, don't worry
darling, it's probably,

736
00:36:31,191 --> 00:36:32,225
just somebody with a gun.

737
00:36:39,200 --> 00:36:40,267
It shot me.

738
00:36:40,301 --> 00:36:41,335
No, you shot you.

739
00:36:41,368 --> 00:36:42,404
Oh God.

740
00:36:42,437 --> 00:36:44,206
I want to go home.

741
00:36:44,239 --> 00:36:46,807
I want to do some modelling
for Ralph Lauren or Burberry.

742
00:36:46,841 --> 00:36:48,276
I don't really mind which one.

743
00:36:48,310 --> 00:36:49,244
Why are we here?

744
00:36:49,277 --> 00:36:50,146
Yeah, why are you here?

745
00:36:50,179 --> 00:36:51,914
Why are any of us here?

746
00:36:51,948 --> 00:36:53,950
Because the woman said
she'd help clear my skin.

747
00:36:53,983 --> 00:36:55,952
What is the matter
with your skin?

748
00:36:57,053 --> 00:36:57,886
I can't see anything.

749
00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:59,156
There's nothing there.

750
00:36:59,189 --> 00:37:01,225
No, I've tried everything
and it won't go away.

751
00:37:01,258 --> 00:37:02,159
I swear it's the reason

752
00:37:02,192 --> 00:37:03,193
why I'm not getting
more modelling jobs.

753
00:37:03,227 --> 00:37:04,660
I'm scarred!

754
00:37:04,694 --> 00:37:06,297
I can't see anything.

755
00:37:07,465 --> 00:37:08,765
I'm gonna die.

756
00:37:08,799 --> 00:37:09,700
No, you'll be fine.

757
00:37:09,733 --> 00:37:11,035
It's just a foot wound.

758
00:37:11,069 --> 00:37:12,669
The bullet's lodged in
one of the metatarsals

759
00:37:12,703 --> 00:37:13,737
so it's stopping the bleeding.

760
00:37:13,770 --> 00:37:14,706
You just need to
keep your shoe on

761
00:37:14,739 --> 00:37:15,807
and keep the weight off of it.

762
00:37:15,840 --> 00:37:16,875
How do you know that?

763
00:37:16,909 --> 00:37:17,842
'Cause I'm a doctor.

764
00:37:17,876 --> 00:37:18,810
Are you a dermatologist?

765
00:37:18,843 --> 00:37:19,811
Nope.

766
00:37:19,844 --> 00:37:20,678
Oh!

767
00:37:21,947 --> 00:37:24,117
So what'd this cure for you?

768
00:37:24,151 --> 00:37:27,287
Um, well you know,
just a birthday in a pub.

769
00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:28,355
Come on.

770
00:37:29,456 --> 00:37:32,293
Let's check to see if Ian
hasn't murdered anyone else.

771
00:37:33,727 --> 00:37:34,694
I'm not gonna go out there.

772
00:37:34,728 --> 00:37:35,463
I'll just be bait!

773
00:37:35,496 --> 00:37:36,931
Neither of us have to be bait.

774
00:37:36,964 --> 00:37:37,999
We'll just cut the
journey in half

775
00:37:38,033 --> 00:37:39,168
and go through the kitchen.

776
00:37:39,201 --> 00:37:40,902
Oh what?

777
00:37:40,936 --> 00:37:41,869
Through the door that hasn't
been opened in 22 years?

778
00:37:46,008 --> 00:37:47,243
So that's, that's when
my father turned around

779
00:37:47,277 --> 00:37:49,179
and shot the turtle in the head!

780
00:37:52,916 --> 00:37:54,285
Oh, uh yeah.

781
00:37:54,318 --> 00:37:55,953
No, that poor little devil.

782
00:37:55,986 --> 00:37:58,855
I had to bury him out
in the back, actually.

783
00:37:58,888 --> 00:38:00,090
Not my father, the turtle.

784
00:38:00,124 --> 00:38:01,824
You know, he's buried in the...

785
00:38:06,897 --> 00:38:08,033
Ian!

786
00:38:08,066 --> 00:38:10,436
So tell me, do you like jokes?

787
00:38:10,469 --> 00:38:12,271
No, I do, I do too.

788
00:38:12,305 --> 00:38:13,239
I love them, I love them.

789
00:38:13,272 --> 00:38:14,407
- Ian!
- Anyway.

790
00:38:16,142 --> 00:38:17,343
- You tell one.
- Ian!

791
00:38:17,376 --> 00:38:18,512
- Ian!
- Ian!

792
00:38:18,545 --> 00:38:20,080
- Ian!
- Ian!

793
00:38:20,113 --> 00:38:21,781
- Ian, Ian!
- Ian, Ian!

794
00:38:25,818 --> 00:38:27,754
Uh, hello?

795
00:38:27,788 --> 00:38:28,990
- Ian!
- Ian!

796
00:38:29,023 --> 00:38:30,757
Stand back!

797
00:38:30,791 --> 00:38:31,426
From where?

798
00:38:31,459 --> 00:38:32,360
The door!

799
00:38:34,230 --> 00:38:35,064
Oh!

800
00:38:44,341 --> 00:38:45,175
Oh my God.

801
00:38:47,510 --> 00:38:49,246
You ruined my father's door.

802
00:38:49,279 --> 00:38:50,114
Do you have any bullets?

803
00:38:50,147 --> 00:38:51,015
Uh, two I think.

804
00:38:51,048 --> 00:38:52,383
Great, where are they?

805
00:38:52,416 --> 00:38:53,284
No, one now.

806
00:38:53,317 --> 00:38:54,218
You've shot that up.

807
00:38:54,252 --> 00:38:55,453
Ugh, you mean zero.

808
00:38:55,486 --> 00:38:57,154
Did you shoot
Frankie in the foot?

809
00:38:57,188 --> 00:38:59,091
You've got a loaded
rifle in the guest bedroom.

810
00:38:59,124 --> 00:39:01,226
Well father never saw the
point of an unloaded gun.

811
00:39:01,260 --> 00:39:03,061
How about safety?

812
00:39:03,095 --> 00:39:04,363
Not only loaded,

813
00:39:04,396 --> 00:39:07,300
but with the last two
bullets you have for it!

814
00:39:07,333 --> 00:39:08,234
No!

815
00:39:08,268 --> 00:39:09,068
What are you doing?

816
00:39:09,102 --> 00:39:10,136
I don't like guns.

817
00:39:10,169 --> 00:39:11,204
You're the one who owns a gun.

818
00:39:11,237 --> 00:39:12,171
It was my father's!

819
00:39:12,205 --> 00:39:14,174
I'm not allowed to touch it!

820
00:39:14,208 --> 00:39:15,875
Oh, for God's sake.

821
00:39:15,908 --> 00:39:17,111
Oh Lisa.

822
00:39:18,112 --> 00:39:20,180
Lisa, Lisa, where are you going?

823
00:39:24,519 --> 00:39:25,987
Ah.

824
00:39:27,322 --> 00:39:28,423
What the hell is
going on in here?

825
00:39:28,456 --> 00:39:30,059
I can explain, Lisa.

826
00:39:30,092 --> 00:39:31,961
This is some Bates
Motel kind of shit.

827
00:39:31,994 --> 00:39:33,262
Where's Bates Motel?

828
00:39:33,296 --> 00:39:35,864
I thought I knew all the
competition around here.

829
00:39:35,897 --> 00:39:37,899
Lisa, this was
just for practise.

830
00:39:37,934 --> 00:39:39,436
No, I think this is
actually called necrophilia.

831
00:39:39,469 --> 00:39:42,406
No, I would not do anything
without anyone's consent.

832
00:39:42,439 --> 00:39:45,275
Wait, wait do you need
consent from a dead woman?

833
00:39:45,309 --> 00:39:47,378
That seems like a grey
area with me, too.

834
00:40:00,125 --> 00:40:01,961
I didn't do anything.

835
00:40:06,199 --> 00:40:07,200
It was you.

836
00:40:09,169 --> 00:40:10,004
He did?

837
00:40:10,037 --> 00:40:11,005
He.

838
00:40:11,038 --> 00:40:12,239
He did what?

839
00:40:12,273 --> 00:40:13,574
He.

840
00:40:13,607 --> 00:40:14,942
Did what?

841
00:40:14,975 --> 00:40:16,077
He.

842
00:40:16,110 --> 00:40:17,211
He did what?

843
00:40:17,244 --> 00:40:18,246
He did what?

844
00:40:19,481 --> 00:40:21,083
I think I ate her.

845
00:40:24,086 --> 00:40:25,287
Oh, you did what?

846
00:40:25,320 --> 00:40:26,622
Don't worry, I
didn't hurt anyone.

847
00:40:26,656 --> 00:40:29,058
How do you work that one out?

848
00:40:29,092 --> 00:40:29,992
You don't, you eat someone,

849
00:40:30,026 --> 00:40:30,926
you killed them, you hurt them.

850
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:32,161
But I didn't kill anyone.

851
00:40:32,195 --> 00:40:33,196
I don't remember doing that.

852
00:40:33,229 --> 00:40:34,164
Ha!

853
00:40:34,198 --> 00:40:35,666
You do remember something!

854
00:40:35,699 --> 00:40:37,101
Not really, just
flashes, that's all.

855
00:40:37,134 --> 00:40:38,135
You were the one who roofied us.

856
00:40:38,168 --> 00:40:39,403
I knew it!

857
00:40:39,436 --> 00:40:41,038
No, Lisa, Lisa, I
didn't kill this woman.

858
00:40:41,071 --> 00:40:42,173
You have to believe me.

859
00:40:42,207 --> 00:40:43,475
Please.

860
00:40:43,508 --> 00:40:44,442
Who are you?

861
00:40:45,577 --> 00:40:46,644
I, I'm, you know.

862
00:40:46,678 --> 00:40:48,613
I'm Ian, I'm Ian!

863
00:40:48,646 --> 00:40:50,116
I run a pub in
Barkshire, you know.

864
00:40:50,149 --> 00:40:51,916
I didn't roofie anyone.

865
00:40:51,951 --> 00:40:53,619
I certainly didn't kill anybody.

866
00:40:53,652 --> 00:40:54,954
I wouldn't, I would never.

867
00:40:54,987 --> 00:40:57,189
Especially you
two, why would you?

868
00:40:57,223 --> 00:40:58,058
Lisa, please believe me.

869
00:40:58,091 --> 00:40:59,126
I didn't kill anyone.

870
00:40:59,159 --> 00:41:00,260
Tell the truth!

871
00:41:00,293 --> 00:41:02,195
Or I will shoot you.

872
00:41:02,229 --> 00:41:03,163
In the foot.

873
00:41:03,196 --> 00:41:04,364
Yeah, that really hurts.

874
00:41:05,432 --> 00:41:06,634
You're out of bullets.

875
00:41:10,605 --> 00:41:11,606
All right.

876
00:41:11,639 --> 00:41:14,042
Lisa, Lisa, please believe me.

877
00:41:14,076 --> 00:41:15,644
I did not kill this woman.

878
00:41:17,012 --> 00:41:19,948
Frankie, tie him up.

879
00:41:19,982 --> 00:41:21,383
With what?

880
00:41:21,417 --> 00:41:22,585
I don't know.

881
00:41:22,619 --> 00:41:24,687
Oh, that chord
from the telephone!

882
00:41:31,629 --> 00:41:33,063
Couldn't you tie me up, Lisa?

883
00:41:33,097 --> 00:41:34,265
- No.
- I'll let you.

884
00:41:37,168 --> 00:41:38,003
There.

885
00:41:39,271 --> 00:41:40,739
Why did you kill her?

886
00:41:40,772 --> 00:41:42,140
I didn't!

887
00:41:42,174 --> 00:41:44,709
All right, why
did you eat her?

888
00:41:44,743 --> 00:41:46,612
I, I don't know.

889
00:41:46,646 --> 00:41:48,281
But, oh.

890
00:41:48,314 --> 00:41:49,348
But what?

891
00:41:49,382 --> 00:41:50,216
But,

892
00:41:51,784 --> 00:41:53,119
tasted amazing.

893
00:41:55,456 --> 00:41:56,457
I have heard that, actually.

894
00:41:56,490 --> 00:41:57,424
From what?

895
00:41:57,458 --> 00:41:59,326
Well you know,
like blogs and stuff.

896
00:41:59,359 --> 00:42:00,160
Oh, you need to
change your blogging habits.

897
00:42:00,194 --> 00:42:01,462
No it's true.

898
00:42:01,495 --> 00:42:02,730
It tastes like nothing
you've ever imagined.

899
00:42:02,764 --> 00:42:03,431
Oh, just
shoot him, please.

900
00:42:03,465 --> 00:42:04,399
Just shoot him.

901
00:42:04,432 --> 00:42:05,700
But I'm not a murderer.

902
00:42:05,733 --> 00:42:07,235
Well, you're
out of bullets, too.

903
00:42:07,268 --> 00:42:08,136
Oh what, is that
a threat then, is it?

904
00:42:08,169 --> 00:42:09,103
You sick fuck.

905
00:42:09,137 --> 00:42:11,006
Well, it was ridged.

906
00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:12,408
Little laces of fat.

907
00:42:12,441 --> 00:42:13,709
This is ridiculous.

908
00:42:13,742 --> 00:42:15,044
What?

909
00:42:15,744 --> 00:42:17,346
Look, just shoot him.

910
00:42:17,379 --> 00:42:18,415
We can scarp her.

911
00:42:18,448 --> 00:42:19,382
Go back to the city.

912
00:42:19,416 --> 00:42:20,383
Get the hell out of here, okay?

913
00:42:20,417 --> 00:42:21,551
I'm done being here.

914
00:42:21,585 --> 00:42:22,586
I want to go home.

915
00:42:22,619 --> 00:42:23,720
Lisa, just, just shoot him.

916
00:42:23,753 --> 00:42:25,422
No, Frankie.

917
00:42:25,455 --> 00:42:26,724
I'm not a murderer.

918
00:42:26,757 --> 00:42:28,059
If anything, we should
wait for the police

919
00:42:28,092 --> 00:42:29,126
to come around and arrest him.

920
00:42:29,160 --> 00:42:31,229
We can't just run away, Frankie.

921
00:42:31,262 --> 00:42:32,363
Why not?

922
00:42:32,396 --> 00:42:33,698
I've been shot.

923
00:42:33,731 --> 00:42:35,267
He's clearly not
right in the head.

924
00:42:35,300 --> 00:42:36,635
And we have a dead body
lying down in front of us.

925
00:42:36,668 --> 00:42:37,736
Let's just get the
hell out of here!

926
00:42:37,769 --> 00:42:39,238
I said no, Frankie.

927
00:42:39,271 --> 00:42:40,172
We've got to wait
for the police.

928
00:42:40,205 --> 00:42:42,308
We can't just leave a
dead body lying here!

929
00:42:42,342 --> 00:42:43,476
Hi there.

930
00:42:45,778 --> 00:42:48,314
Wow, what a reception.

931
00:42:48,348 --> 00:42:49,649
Thanks very much.

932
00:42:49,682 --> 00:42:52,753
So, did it work?

933
00:42:52,786 --> 00:42:54,388
Did what work?

934
00:42:54,421 --> 00:42:56,790
Oh come on Lisa,
you most of all.

935
00:42:56,824 --> 00:42:58,193
Are you cured?

936
00:42:59,694 --> 00:43:01,396
How do you know about?

937
00:43:01,429 --> 00:43:02,230
Oh it worked.

938
00:43:02,264 --> 00:43:03,665
I knew it would
work, it had to work.

939
00:43:03,698 --> 00:43:05,433
I just, you know,
had to be sure.

940
00:43:05,467 --> 00:43:06,636
You're alive.

941
00:43:06,669 --> 00:43:07,770
Of course I am, Ian.

942
00:43:09,539 --> 00:43:12,174
Actually, you kind of grazed me.

943
00:43:12,208 --> 00:43:14,211
I thought you'd take
more, to be honest.

944
00:43:16,480 --> 00:43:17,814
Hey, what about Frankie?

945
00:43:17,848 --> 00:43:20,517
He looked ready for a
feast when I went out.

946
00:43:20,551 --> 00:43:22,654
Oh, thanks for the
anaesthetic, by the way.

947
00:43:24,589 --> 00:43:26,090
Frankie!

948
00:43:26,124 --> 00:43:27,258
Shit.

949
00:43:27,292 --> 00:43:30,496
Frankie come out, show that
unblemished face of yours.

950
00:43:30,529 --> 00:43:31,530
Shit.

951
00:43:32,531 --> 00:43:33,632
We can hear you, darling.

952
00:43:35,534 --> 00:43:36,602
Hi, Frankie.

953
00:43:37,837 --> 00:43:39,806
Uh, hi.

954
00:43:39,839 --> 00:43:42,409
I'm sorry, what's
your name, again?

955
00:43:43,710 --> 00:43:45,312
Oh, oh yeah.

956
00:43:45,345 --> 00:43:46,714
We did think there'd be some
memory loss, didn't we Lisa?

957
00:43:46,747 --> 00:43:49,650
Um, I'm Eve, remember?

958
00:43:52,186 --> 00:43:52,820
No.

959
00:43:54,356 --> 00:43:55,524
Hm.

960
00:43:55,557 --> 00:43:57,259
So, Lisa, tell me.

961
00:43:58,327 --> 00:43:59,161
How do you feel?

962
00:44:01,163 --> 00:44:02,498
What happened?

963
00:44:02,532 --> 00:44:03,800
I mean, how did we get here?

964
00:44:04,934 --> 00:44:07,170
And what did Ian do to you?

965
00:44:09,305 --> 00:44:10,808
Yeah Ian, what
did you do to me?

966
00:44:12,910 --> 00:44:14,745
I ate you.

967
00:44:14,778 --> 00:44:15,779
Exactly.

968
00:44:15,813 --> 00:44:17,481
How do I taste?

969
00:44:17,514 --> 00:44:19,651
I'm so sorry.

970
00:44:19,684 --> 00:44:21,219
I hope I didn't hurt you.

971
00:44:21,953 --> 00:44:23,254
No, I've never felt better.

972
00:44:23,288 --> 00:44:24,422
You, you were dead.

973
00:44:24,456 --> 00:44:26,258
You know, we went on a date.

974
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:28,794
Hm.

975
00:44:29,963 --> 00:44:31,364
Are most of your dates dead?

976
00:44:32,598 --> 00:44:33,767
Well.

977
00:44:33,800 --> 00:44:35,268
Well, I guess the memory loss

978
00:44:35,302 --> 00:44:37,337
was a bit more sever
than we expected.

979
00:44:37,371 --> 00:44:39,339
How are you alive?

980
00:44:39,373 --> 00:44:42,410
We, we thought you'd been
ravaged by a wild dog

981
00:44:42,443 --> 00:44:44,646
or murdered by the loony.

982
00:44:44,679 --> 00:44:46,681
No no, Lisa.

983
00:44:46,714 --> 00:44:48,216
I'm not the murderer.

984
00:44:48,249 --> 00:44:51,186
No objection to being
called a loony, though.

985
00:44:51,220 --> 00:44:52,488
Well I guess you could say

986
00:44:52,521 --> 00:44:53,656
I've been ravaged
by three wild dogs.

987
00:44:53,689 --> 00:44:54,890
There's three of them.

988
00:44:59,229 --> 00:44:59,829
So,

989
00:45:01,431 --> 00:45:02,866
are you really
gonna make me ask?

990
00:45:04,567 --> 00:45:07,538
Are you gonna tell me
how I tasted, or not?

991
00:45:07,571 --> 00:45:08,806
I, uh what tasted?

992
00:45:08,839 --> 00:45:09,840
Her flesh.

993
00:45:09,874 --> 00:45:10,708
Uh.

994
00:45:20,919 --> 00:45:22,488
Pork.

995
00:45:22,522 --> 00:45:23,623
No.

996
00:45:23,656 --> 00:45:24,490
Not you.

997
00:45:24,524 --> 00:45:25,692
Tasted like pork.

998
00:45:25,725 --> 00:45:27,360
Lisa, not you.

999
00:45:27,393 --> 00:45:28,561
Oh come on, Frankie.

1000
00:45:28,594 --> 00:45:30,464
It's not like she
stabbed me in the back.

1001
00:45:34,435 --> 00:45:35,402
Just the leg.

1002
00:45:47,017 --> 00:45:48,617
The fuck is this?

1003
00:46:01,699 --> 00:46:03,968
So um, I wonder would you stay

1004
00:46:04,002 --> 00:46:05,603
and help clean up the blood?

1005
00:46:05,636 --> 00:46:07,772
I do have a health
inspection coming up soon.

1006
00:46:08,906 --> 00:46:09,742
Holy shit.

1007
00:46:10,709 --> 00:46:11,777
It's gone!

1008
00:46:11,810 --> 00:46:12,911
Is this flan?

1009
00:46:14,913 --> 00:46:17,316
Uh, so you see, Lisa.

1010
00:46:17,349 --> 00:46:19,652
She's not dead, very much alive.

1011
00:46:19,686 --> 00:46:20,787
So there's no harm done.

1012
00:46:21,721 --> 00:46:25,760
No, none at all.

1013
00:46:25,793 --> 00:46:27,795
Didn't it hurt?

1014
00:46:27,828 --> 00:46:30,397
Oh, no I've got hyperalgesia.

1015
00:46:31,932 --> 00:46:34,736
Oh that's why.

1016
00:46:34,770 --> 00:46:35,604
Wait wait wait, why what?

1017
00:46:35,637 --> 00:46:37,405
What's hypoalgie?

1018
00:46:37,439 --> 00:46:39,808
Hypoalgesia.

1019
00:46:39,841 --> 00:46:41,409
She has an immunity to pain.

1020
00:46:41,443 --> 00:46:43,546
Or at least a decreased
sensitivity to it.

1021
00:46:43,579 --> 00:46:44,847
Oh, so cool.

1022
00:46:44,881 --> 00:46:47,350
Actually no, it's
really quite dangerous.

1023
00:46:47,383 --> 00:46:49,019
You know you're not
impervious to injury or death.

1024
00:46:49,052 --> 00:46:51,588
I'm really glad I fixed you up.

1025
00:46:51,622 --> 00:46:52,456
Yeah.

1026
00:46:54,625 --> 00:46:56,560
So, Frankie.

1027
00:46:56,593 --> 00:46:58,030
How you doing?

1028
00:46:58,063 --> 00:47:00,832
I'm utterly
disgusted with myself.

1029
00:47:00,865 --> 00:47:04,836
But also, skin's clear,
eczema's gone, all cured.

1030
00:47:08,041 --> 00:47:09,542
That means you are too.

1031
00:47:12,845 --> 00:47:15,049
But, how are you okay
with us just eating you?

1032
00:47:16,017 --> 00:47:17,350
Well, I asked you to.

1033
00:47:18,552 --> 00:47:19,786
Oh, right.

1034
00:47:19,820 --> 00:47:21,088
I know, but why?

1035
00:47:21,122 --> 00:47:24,026
You all just
seemed so hopeless.

1036
00:47:24,059 --> 00:47:25,560
- Oh, come on.
- I'm famous.

1037
00:47:25,593 --> 00:47:26,894
Yes, it's true.

1038
00:47:26,928 --> 00:47:28,729
Look, I help people, okay.

1039
00:47:28,763 --> 00:47:30,133
It's what I do.

1040
00:47:30,166 --> 00:47:31,400
I learned about it on my travels

1041
00:47:31,433 --> 00:47:34,570
to Mount Kiniwawatindunivankula.

1042
00:47:34,603 --> 00:47:35,537
Whoa.

1043
00:47:35,571 --> 00:47:36,972
It's near Fiji.

1044
00:47:37,006 --> 00:47:38,708
Oh, you see, I don't
believe in Chinese medicine.

1045
00:47:38,741 --> 00:47:40,777
I'm a doctor, a real doctor.

1046
00:47:42,179 --> 00:47:44,148
I mean it's held as like
and ancient miracle cure,

1047
00:47:44,181 --> 00:47:45,916
but it's rarely
practised anymore.

1048
00:47:45,950 --> 00:47:47,651
But it's exactly
what you all needed.

1049
00:47:47,685 --> 00:47:49,020
Well, you two anyway.

1050
00:47:51,455 --> 00:47:53,058
Hey Lisa, do you
think after this

1051
00:47:53,091 --> 00:47:54,093
you could bandage up my foot

1052
00:47:54,126 --> 00:47:56,661
seeing as I don't have hypoasia?

1053
00:47:56,695 --> 00:47:57,729
It's hypo,

1054
00:47:58,563 --> 00:48:00,032
you know what, it
doesn't matter.

1055
00:48:00,066 --> 00:48:01,968
So, seeing as the
miracle cure worked

1056
00:48:02,002 --> 00:48:05,972
so well for all of you,
I think it's my turn.

1057
00:48:10,544 --> 00:48:13,047
Your turn for what?

1058
00:48:13,081 --> 00:48:15,449
Well, you didn't think I
wouldn't want to try it myself?

1059
00:48:15,482 --> 00:48:16,783
- Uh.
- Sorry, I don't know what...

1060
00:48:16,817 --> 00:48:18,686
Okay listen, eating
someone else is one thing,

1061
00:48:18,720 --> 00:48:21,823
but eating yourself,
that's, ugh.

1062
00:48:21,856 --> 00:48:23,625
No Frankie,

1063
00:48:24,893 --> 00:48:26,795
I don't think that's
what she's talking about.

1064
00:48:31,567 --> 00:48:32,202
Whoa!

1065
00:48:32,235 --> 00:48:33,069
Shit.

1066
00:48:34,771 --> 00:48:36,640
Well I mean, I would have
preferred a more tender meat,

1067
00:48:36,673 --> 00:48:40,443
but as always, survival
of the fittest.

1068
00:48:45,883 --> 00:48:47,451
No bullets.

1069
00:48:55,161 --> 00:48:56,728
Did she get Ian?

1070
00:48:56,762 --> 00:48:57,597
Oh God, I hope so.

1071
00:48:57,630 --> 00:48:59,099
Frankie.

1072
00:48:59,133 --> 00:49:00,067
Just because then she
wouldn't eat us, would she?

1073
00:49:00,100 --> 00:49:01,035
It's not like you like the guy.

1074
00:49:01,068 --> 00:49:02,635
But he's no worse than us.

1075
00:49:02,669 --> 00:49:04,604
Oh, don't feel
good for blaming him.

1076
00:49:04,637 --> 00:49:05,539
Anyone would.

1077
00:49:05,572 --> 00:49:07,142
He's just the perfect
murderer stereotype.

1078
00:49:07,175 --> 00:49:08,976
Well, what's the perfect
cannibal stereotype?

1079
00:49:10,878 --> 00:49:12,013
I don't know.

1080
00:49:12,047 --> 00:49:13,214
Is there a perfect
cannibal stereotype?

1081
00:49:13,248 --> 00:49:15,951
Uh, a psychotic,
highly civilised doctor.

1082
00:49:16,851 --> 00:49:18,087
Ow!

1083
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:18,920
Oh, thank God I
don't have a PhD.

1084
00:49:18,954 --> 00:49:19,587
I'll beg to differ.

1085
00:49:21,257 --> 00:49:22,591
Excuse me.

1086
00:49:22,625 --> 00:49:23,859
Would you mind
letting me in, please?

1087
00:49:23,893 --> 00:49:25,761
Oh yes we would,
thank you very much.

1088
00:49:27,297 --> 00:49:28,231
No, I don't like urinals.

1089
00:49:28,265 --> 00:49:29,800
I prefer the privacy of a stall.

1090
00:49:29,833 --> 00:49:31,735
This leads outside.

1091
00:49:31,768 --> 00:49:33,804
That's where a rabid
dog is waiting for us.

1092
00:49:33,837 --> 00:49:34,671
Well.

1093
00:49:36,707 --> 00:49:38,476
Screw it!

1094
00:50:08,709 --> 00:50:09,945
I'm so sorry, father.

1095
00:50:09,978 --> 00:50:11,247
I'm so sorry, father.

1096
00:50:11,280 --> 00:50:12,647
I'm so sorry, father.

1097
00:50:12,681 --> 00:50:14,317
I'm so sorry, father.

1098
00:50:14,350 --> 00:50:15,284
I will not run.

1099
00:50:16,852 --> 00:50:18,022
I will not touch your gun.

1100
00:50:18,055 --> 00:50:19,589
I will not touch your gun.

1101
00:50:19,622 --> 00:50:21,258
I will not run.

1102
00:50:21,291 --> 00:50:22,825
I will not touch your gun.

1103
00:50:22,859 --> 00:50:24,161
I will not touch your gun.

1104
00:50:24,194 --> 00:50:25,629
I will not run!

1105
00:50:26,897 --> 00:50:28,233
Oh God.

1106
00:50:28,266 --> 00:50:29,833
Oh God.

1107
00:50:29,867 --> 00:50:31,036
Oh God.

1108
00:50:31,069 --> 00:50:32,170
Oh, I'm sorry, Frankie.

1109
00:50:32,203 --> 00:50:33,605
I'm sorry, Lisa.

1110
00:50:33,638 --> 00:50:34,806
I'm sorry, Frankie.

1111
00:50:34,839 --> 00:50:35,907
I'm sorry, Lisa.

1112
00:50:38,077 --> 00:50:39,577
Wait wait wait, where
are your car keys?

1113
00:50:39,611 --> 00:50:40,678
Oh, I left them
in the restaurant.

1114
00:50:40,712 --> 00:50:41,747
Brilliant.

1115
00:50:41,781 --> 00:50:42,815
Oh!

1116
00:50:42,848 --> 00:50:43,783
If we go around
we can go through

1117
00:50:43,816 --> 00:50:45,052
the back door and get them.

1118
00:50:45,085 --> 00:50:46,086
She's still in the
bathroom, probably.

1119
00:50:46,119 --> 00:50:46,952
Probably?

1120
00:50:46,986 --> 00:50:48,188
I like those odds.

1121
00:50:49,689 --> 00:50:50,857
Wait!

1122
00:50:50,891 --> 00:50:51,892
Wait up, I'm shot in the foot.

1123
00:50:51,925 --> 00:50:52,759
I know.

1124
00:51:03,205 --> 00:51:05,074
Why is he waving?

1125
00:51:11,281 --> 00:51:12,115
Come on.

1126
00:51:26,997 --> 00:51:27,832
Ian!

1127
00:51:30,303 --> 00:51:31,137
Ian.

1128
00:51:33,905 --> 00:51:34,940
Ian.

1129
00:51:40,813 --> 00:51:41,647
No.

1130
00:51:53,128 --> 00:51:53,962
Hm.

1131
00:52:04,141 --> 00:52:05,908
So do you want to um?

1132
00:52:05,941 --> 00:52:06,775
What?

1133
00:52:06,809 --> 00:52:07,910
We're about to die.

1134
00:52:07,943 --> 00:52:09,713
My point exactly.

1135
00:52:09,746 --> 00:52:11,215
At least your
eczema's cleared up.

1136
00:52:11,249 --> 00:52:12,749
Wait wait, you don't
have blue hair anymore.

1137
00:52:12,782 --> 00:52:13,683
No.

1138
00:52:13,717 --> 00:52:14,452
You're bald.

1139
00:52:14,485 --> 00:52:15,952
Well I, I've got cancer.

1140
00:52:17,256 --> 00:52:19,824
Oh, that's why
you're doing this.

1141
00:52:19,857 --> 00:52:21,059
Yeah, I don't
have much time left,

1142
00:52:21,093 --> 00:52:22,693
so I though what
have I got to lose.

1143
00:52:22,727 --> 00:52:23,828
Yeah, no, I get it.

1144
00:52:23,861 --> 00:52:26,432
I'm going through
exactly the same thing.

1145
00:52:26,466 --> 00:52:27,966
You had eczema.

1146
00:52:28,000 --> 00:52:30,470
Oh, okay, and that's
not important to you?

1147
00:52:30,503 --> 00:52:32,272
The end of my livelihood?

1148
00:52:32,305 --> 00:52:33,873
My career, my friendships,
my access to free clothes?

1149
00:52:33,907 --> 00:52:35,176
Just because you
didn't get eczema,

1150
00:52:35,209 --> 00:52:36,410
doesn't mean it's not
life of death for me.

1151
00:52:36,443 --> 00:52:37,944
You've got great
skin, Frankie.

1152
00:52:37,977 --> 00:52:39,346
It's a shame everyone
hasn't got skin like you.

1153
00:53:13,419 --> 00:53:14,986
Loner, no wife,

1154
00:53:15,019 --> 00:53:16,055
no son, my image ruined.

1155
00:53:16,088 --> 00:53:17,323
I'm sorry father.

1156
00:53:19,023 --> 00:53:21,894
You
inconsiderate little shit.

1157
00:53:21,927 --> 00:53:23,330
Stupid boy!

1158
00:53:23,363 --> 00:53:26,199
You're weak, get out
of here, at once.

1159
00:53:26,233 --> 00:53:28,401
Do you feel that yet, do you?

1160
00:53:28,435 --> 00:53:30,937
You fucking shit, stupid shit!

1161
00:53:32,473 --> 00:53:33,307
No!

1162
00:53:35,509 --> 00:53:37,212
I'm not sorry, father!

1163
00:53:39,081 --> 00:53:41,015
I need to help my friends.

1164
00:53:55,566 --> 00:53:56,400
Ian!

1165
00:53:57,900 --> 00:53:59,069
Lisa!

1166
00:53:59,103 --> 00:54:01,004
Frankie!

1167
00:54:03,041 --> 00:54:04,075
Come out to play!

1168
00:54:11,417 --> 00:54:12,285
Hey, do you reckon
a dog got her?

1169
00:54:12,318 --> 00:54:14,353
I don't know, I
haven't heard anything.

1170
00:54:14,387 --> 00:54:16,555
It's got to be morning
now though, right?

1171
00:54:16,589 --> 00:54:17,591
Maybe she's gone after Ian.

1172
00:54:17,624 --> 00:54:18,858
Ooh.

1173
00:54:24,531 --> 00:54:25,366
Hm.

1174
00:54:41,116 --> 00:54:41,950
Guys!

1175
00:54:43,620 --> 00:54:44,587
Where are you?

1176
00:54:46,323 --> 00:54:47,524
I'm hungry!

1177
00:54:55,499 --> 00:54:56,400
Let's go.

1178
00:54:59,237 --> 00:55:00,305
Hello, food.

1179
00:55:02,973 --> 00:55:04,242
Oh God.

1180
00:55:04,276 --> 00:55:07,012
Oh, that's not even
sharp, it's for flan.

1181
00:55:08,514 --> 00:55:11,016
Oh, nice shot, Ian.

1182
00:55:11,050 --> 00:55:12,418
Shoot her!

1183
00:55:12,452 --> 00:55:13,320
Ian!

1184
00:55:13,354 --> 00:55:14,221
Shoot her.

1185
00:55:14,254 --> 00:55:15,222
Yeah Ian, shoot me.

1186
00:55:15,255 --> 00:55:16,190
What, what do you want?

1187
00:55:17,458 --> 00:55:20,160
I want to eat you, I
already told you that.

1188
00:55:20,194 --> 00:55:22,963
I'm gonna kill you, dice
you up into tiny pieces,

1189
00:55:22,996 --> 00:55:24,332
put you in the freezer, and eat
you every day for breakfast.

1190
00:55:24,366 --> 00:55:26,334
God, what is wrong with you.

1191
00:55:26,368 --> 00:55:28,001
Yeah, sure, there
must be something wrong.

1192
00:55:29,036 --> 00:55:30,339
What did you want to cure?

1193
00:55:30,373 --> 00:55:31,440
I don't...

1194
00:55:31,474 --> 00:55:32,341
Pain!

1195
00:55:32,375 --> 00:55:33,676
I want to feel pain.

1196
00:55:33,709 --> 00:55:35,277
Why, why do you
want to feel that?

1197
00:55:35,311 --> 00:55:38,048
You've hit the jackpot
by not feeling it.

1198
00:55:38,081 --> 00:55:39,683
You don't know what it's like.

1199
00:55:39,716 --> 00:55:41,218
What, you think I'm lucky

1200
00:55:41,251 --> 00:55:43,120
'cause I have to set
an alarm every day

1201
00:55:43,153 --> 00:55:45,223
to remind myself to
go to the toilet?

1202
00:55:45,256 --> 00:55:47,425
You think I'm lucky that
my father made a game

1203
00:55:47,458 --> 00:55:49,427
of seeing how many
bones he could break

1204
00:55:49,460 --> 00:55:51,329
before I couldn't walk anymore?

1205
00:55:51,362 --> 00:55:52,697
You think I'm lucky
that my friends

1206
00:55:52,730 --> 00:55:55,534
threw me off a bridge just
to see what would happen?

1207
00:55:55,567 --> 00:55:56,468
Wow.

1208
00:55:56,502 --> 00:55:57,969
But you think I'm
lucky that I get to be

1209
00:55:58,002 --> 00:56:00,072
a guinea pig to human curiosity?

1210
00:56:00,105 --> 00:56:02,308
I may not be able to feel pain

1211
00:56:02,342 --> 00:56:04,277
but it doesn't mean
I can't be broken.

1212
00:56:05,578 --> 00:56:07,213
No, I've never
been the lucky one.

1213
00:56:07,247 --> 00:56:08,715
You're lucky!

1214
00:56:08,748 --> 00:56:09,683
To feel!

1215
00:56:11,385 --> 00:56:12,319
I want to feel!

1216
00:56:12,353 --> 00:56:14,622
I just want to feel something!

1217
00:56:16,090 --> 00:56:17,692
No, you don't have
to feel pain, Eve.

1218
00:56:17,726 --> 00:56:19,728
I mean you weren't
treated right,

1219
00:56:19,761 --> 00:56:22,930
but that doesn't mean that
you have to feel pain as well.

1220
00:56:25,032 --> 00:56:26,034
You just don't get it.

1221
00:56:27,136 --> 00:56:29,037
Pain is a blessing.

1222
00:56:30,406 --> 00:56:34,077
I thought my father cared
for me as he broke my bones.

1223
00:56:35,312 --> 00:56:38,182
I thought my friends liked me
as they threw me off a bridge.

1224
00:56:39,416 --> 00:56:40,517
I thought the world loved me

1225
00:56:40,551 --> 00:56:42,554
as it cut me open
to look inside.

1226
00:56:44,556 --> 00:56:46,090
I just want to feel their pain.

1227
00:56:47,325 --> 00:56:49,094
Eve, Eve,

1228
00:56:51,163 --> 00:56:52,731
you don't need pain to know

1229
00:56:52,765 --> 00:56:55,601
that your father
didn't treat you right.

1230
00:56:55,634 --> 00:56:59,272
And what my father did to
me wasn't right as well.

1231
00:57:02,642 --> 00:57:04,678
We don't need pain to tell us

1232
00:57:04,711 --> 00:57:07,415
that we were raised by evil men.

1233
00:57:08,516 --> 00:57:12,687
But that also doesn't mean
that we have to be evil either.

1234
00:57:18,093 --> 00:57:19,261
If I'm evil,

1235
00:57:20,295 --> 00:57:21,297
then so are you, Ian.

1236
00:57:23,099 --> 00:57:25,635
So are all of you.

1237
00:57:32,076 --> 00:57:34,178
Oh, fuck.

1238
00:57:34,211 --> 00:57:35,379
You shot me.

1239
00:57:35,412 --> 00:57:37,782
Oh oh, it was an accident.

1240
00:57:37,816 --> 00:57:38,750
Ian!

1241
00:57:38,783 --> 00:57:40,252
I'm sorry, the gun is old.

1242
00:57:40,285 --> 00:57:42,320
It just, it just went off.

1243
00:57:42,354 --> 00:57:44,089
I mean,
he's not wrong.

1244
00:57:45,391 --> 00:57:46,726
Still can't feel anything.

1245
00:57:46,759 --> 00:57:49,795
No, but you're
gonna bleed out, so.

1246
00:57:49,829 --> 00:57:50,663
Oh yeah.

1247
00:57:52,698 --> 00:57:53,734
That sucks.

1248
00:57:53,767 --> 00:57:56,203
Ian, water, bandages, now.

1249
00:58:09,184 --> 00:58:12,187
It's a shame that I
still can't feel any pain.

1250
00:58:13,422 --> 00:58:14,557
Even though I've been shot.

1251
00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:17,794
I wish I could.

1252
00:58:20,196 --> 00:58:23,133
You know, the guys at Mount
Kiniwawatindunivankula

1253
00:58:23,166 --> 00:58:25,303
would love to hear this story.

1254
00:58:26,704 --> 00:58:29,106
But, I guess,

1255
00:58:31,576 --> 00:58:35,380
well, at least my life
wasn't a complete waste.

1256
00:58:36,882 --> 00:58:38,450
I got to cure all of you.

1257
00:58:44,791 --> 00:58:47,260
Just remember,
there's nothing wrong

1258
00:58:47,293 --> 00:58:48,795
with being a little bit weird.

1259
00:58:50,197 --> 00:58:51,398
Like a rabbi in a pub.

1260
00:58:54,201 --> 00:58:57,339
Uh, not quite what
I meant, but okay.

1261
00:59:01,543 --> 00:59:02,410
What, what you doing?

1262
00:59:13,957 --> 00:59:14,758
Ow!

1263
00:59:24,802 --> 00:59:26,270
I feel, pain.

1264
00:59:40,253 --> 00:59:41,454
Is she okay.

1265
00:59:41,488 --> 00:59:43,256
No, she's dead.

1266
00:59:46,827 --> 00:59:48,229
Yeah, she's dead.

1267
00:59:49,530 --> 00:59:51,532
I didn't kill her.

1268
00:59:51,565 --> 00:59:52,868
It was an accident.

1269
00:59:52,901 --> 00:59:55,737
You know what, Lisa, I
agree with him on this one.

1270
00:59:55,771 --> 00:59:57,272
What, how do we know?

1271
00:59:57,305 --> 00:59:58,740
He was the only one that
didn't need any curing.

1272
00:59:58,774 --> 01:00:01,244
Wanted to know
what it tasted like.

1273
01:00:01,277 --> 01:00:02,679
So you accepted

1274
01:00:02,712 --> 01:00:03,513
a strange woman's
request to eat her flesh?

1275
01:00:03,546 --> 01:00:04,847
Well I was curious.

1276
01:00:06,416 --> 01:00:08,184
I like meat, sue me.

1277
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:10,954
Look, I'm not
condoning the behaviour,

1278
01:00:10,988 --> 01:00:12,589
but he hasn't done anything
that we haven't done.

1279
01:00:12,623 --> 01:00:13,924
Well he shot Eve.

1280
01:00:13,957 --> 01:00:16,260
That gun is incredibly
unpredictable.

1281
01:00:16,293 --> 01:00:16,928
We need to call the police.

1282
01:00:16,961 --> 01:00:17,896
They're not in.

1283
01:00:17,929 --> 01:00:19,297
Well, a woman's been murdered.

1284
01:00:19,330 --> 01:00:20,865
Accidentally killed.

1285
01:00:20,899 --> 01:00:22,500
In self defence, you know.

1286
01:00:22,534 --> 01:00:23,868
She had surrendered,
technically,

1287
01:00:23,902 --> 01:00:25,538
but she also shot at us,

1288
01:00:25,571 --> 01:00:27,273
attacked you with a flan knife,

1289
01:00:27,306 --> 01:00:28,941
strangled you, do
you know what I mean?

1290
01:00:28,974 --> 01:00:29,842
She wasn't innocent.

1291
01:00:29,875 --> 01:00:31,777
Yeah, either way,
we should report it.

1292
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:34,347
But we ate her.

1293
01:00:35,515 --> 01:00:37,284
Yeah, I suppose.

1294
01:00:37,317 --> 01:00:38,585
Those two are two
separate events, so.

1295
01:00:38,618 --> 01:00:40,922
I, I don't think the
police are gonna care.

1296
01:00:40,955 --> 01:00:44,425
We have a dead woman and pieces
of her flesh inside of us.

1297
01:00:44,459 --> 01:00:46,594
I think this will
pass as guilty.

1298
01:00:46,627 --> 01:00:49,698
Actually, I don't
think cannibalism itself

1299
01:00:49,732 --> 01:00:52,367
is technically
illegal in Barkshire.

1300
01:00:52,401 --> 01:00:53,635
Why do you know that?

1301
01:00:53,669 --> 01:00:55,404
You see, it's the
murdering of the person

1302
01:00:55,437 --> 01:00:58,308
before you eat them, that's
the technically illegal part.

1303
01:00:58,341 --> 01:00:59,509
Yeah, I don't think that's
gonna hold up in court.

1304
01:00:59,542 --> 01:01:00,810
I don't think
there's anything wrong

1305
01:01:00,844 --> 01:01:02,512
with cannibalism per se.

1306
01:01:02,545 --> 01:01:04,481
Yeah, the jury aren't gonna
like you very much, Ian.

1307
01:01:04,514 --> 01:01:06,650
Look, what are we
gonna do with Eve?

1308
01:01:06,684 --> 01:01:08,753
She's getting blood
all over my table.

1309
01:01:08,786 --> 01:01:10,521
Priorities, Ian.

1310
01:01:10,554 --> 01:01:12,924
Unless it is your
father's table.

1311
01:01:12,958 --> 01:01:13,925
Not anymore.

1312
01:01:16,095 --> 01:01:17,329
It's my table now.

1313
01:01:23,603 --> 01:01:24,670
Don't apologise, Ian.

1314
01:01:24,704 --> 01:01:26,606
You know, you're not so bad.

1315
01:01:28,674 --> 01:01:30,377
I vote we bury her.

1316
01:01:30,410 --> 01:01:32,613
God, my life was so
much simpler 24 hours ago.

1317
01:01:32,646 --> 01:01:34,715
It was just a divorce, a
custody battle and some cancer.

1318
01:01:34,748 --> 01:01:36,750
Now it's just this giant mess.

1319
01:01:36,785 --> 01:01:38,319
Yes, but now you're cured.

1320
01:01:38,353 --> 01:01:39,420
You have a long, healthy life

1321
01:01:39,454 --> 01:01:41,356
of which to deal
with this giant mess.

1322
01:01:44,025 --> 01:01:46,495
So, have you got a spade?

1323
01:01:46,529 --> 01:01:47,563
Somewhere.

1324
01:01:47,596 --> 01:01:48,564
We better hurry up.

1325
01:01:48,597 --> 01:01:50,633
Yeah, I'm not keen on
the return of that dog.

1326
01:01:50,666 --> 01:01:52,568
Hair of the dog.

1327
01:01:52,601 --> 01:01:53,770
I've never gone for that.

1328
01:01:53,804 --> 01:01:55,405
Hair for a drink, disgusting.

1329
01:01:55,438 --> 01:01:57,407
Human flesh is
more acceptable?

1330
01:01:59,843 --> 01:02:00,912
You should really go inside

1331
01:02:00,945 --> 01:02:02,413
if you're frightened of the dog.

1332
01:02:02,446 --> 01:02:04,048
No I.

1333
01:02:04,081 --> 01:02:06,617
Lisa, I'm sorry.

1334
01:02:06,651 --> 01:02:07,919
What for?

1335
01:02:07,952 --> 01:02:10,522
I, for making you
feel uncomfortable.

1336
01:02:10,556 --> 01:02:13,425
I don't have very much
experience around women.

1337
01:02:13,458 --> 01:02:15,494
Look, Ian, you're a good guy.

1338
01:02:15,527 --> 01:02:17,764
You know, cannibalism and
accidental murder aside,

1339
01:02:17,797 --> 01:02:20,600
but I don't think this is really
gonna work out, I'm sorry.

1340
01:02:20,633 --> 01:02:22,035
I can introduce you to
my friend, Mary, though.

1341
01:02:22,068 --> 01:02:23,069
She's quite desperate as well.

1342
01:02:23,103 --> 01:02:24,470
Well thank you.

1343
01:02:24,504 --> 01:02:25,639
- No.
- Do you know what?

1344
01:02:25,673 --> 01:02:26,974
I think I'm going to be okay.

1345
01:02:27,007 --> 01:02:28,075
It was my father that
wanted me to carry on

1346
01:02:28,109 --> 01:02:29,577
the line of the Bartholomew's.

1347
01:02:29,610 --> 01:02:32,513
I've never really been a
kid person to be honest.

1348
01:02:32,546 --> 01:02:33,715
Yeah, not everyone

1349
01:02:33,748 --> 01:02:35,817
should carry on a
lineage Ian, believe me.

1350
01:02:35,851 --> 01:02:37,485
Okay.

1351
01:02:37,519 --> 01:02:40,122
What do you think of
this, will this work?

1352
01:02:40,156 --> 01:02:41,624
God, you better help him.

1353
01:02:41,657 --> 01:02:42,692
He's not gonna be able
to do this on his own.

1354
01:02:42,725 --> 01:02:44,060
Lisa, thank you.

1355
01:02:46,028 --> 01:02:49,032
I think I might finally be
cured of my father's voice.

1356
01:02:49,900 --> 01:02:52,436
Maybe it was a
miracle cure after all.

1357
01:02:55,439 --> 01:02:56,941
It's, it's!

1358
01:03:06,886 --> 01:03:08,121
It's a cat.

1359
01:03:08,154 --> 01:03:09,088
I can't believe we
were scared of a cat.

1360
01:03:09,122 --> 01:03:10,890
It's like there's no dog.

1361
01:03:10,923 --> 01:03:11,891
No, there must be.

1362
01:03:11,924 --> 01:03:13,059
Radio people know what
they're talking about.

1363
01:03:13,093 --> 01:03:13,927
Well I feel stupid.

1364
01:03:13,960 --> 01:03:15,662
I don't, I hate cats.

1365
01:03:15,695 --> 01:03:18,165
So what we gonna do
about the body then?

1366
01:03:18,199 --> 01:03:21,502
I mean, it's a kind
of a waste, isn't it?

1367
01:03:21,535 --> 01:03:22,737
Well she's dead already.

1368
01:03:22,770 --> 01:03:24,071
Cancer can come back.

1369
01:03:24,106 --> 01:03:25,240
But you're cured.

1370
01:03:25,274 --> 01:03:26,774
Yeah, but it might not have
got rid of all the cancer.

1371
01:03:26,807 --> 01:03:27,775
What about your eczema?

1372
01:03:27,808 --> 01:03:28,977
What about your voices, Ian?

1373
01:03:30,113 --> 01:03:34,549
- Okay, feast.
- I'll get her.

1374
01:03:34,583 --> 01:03:37,086
And
in other local news,

1375
01:03:37,121 --> 01:03:41,758
it turns out there
isn't a wild dog at all.

1376
01:03:41,791 --> 01:03:46,030
Just some kid doing howl
noises around the village.

1377
01:03:46,063 --> 01:03:47,898
His parents have cautioned him

1378
01:03:47,932 --> 01:03:50,701
and sent him to
bed without dinner.

1379
01:03:55,241 --> 01:03:56,841
There we are, that'll keep.

1380
01:03:56,875 --> 01:03:58,877
I'll cook her any
way you want her.

1381
01:04:00,813 --> 01:04:03,616
Hello, health inspector.

1382
01:04:03,649 --> 01:04:04,517
What?

1383
01:04:04,550 --> 01:04:05,484
No.

1384
01:04:05,518 --> 01:04:06,719
It'll be fine, I'll be fine.

1385
01:04:06,752 --> 01:04:08,020
There's a dead
body in the freezer.

1386
01:04:08,054 --> 01:04:09,022
There's a rifle
out there somewhere!

1387
01:04:09,056 --> 01:04:10,490
There's blood everywhere.

1388
01:04:10,524 --> 01:04:11,725
It could be animal blood.

1389
01:04:11,758 --> 01:04:12,759
No, no.

1390
01:04:12,793 --> 01:04:14,561
That's a health violation.

1391
01:04:14,594 --> 01:04:15,495
They will close down my pub.

1392
01:04:15,529 --> 01:04:17,832
Oh perspective Ian,
we could go to jail.

1393
01:04:17,865 --> 01:04:19,600
What do you suggest then?

1394
01:04:22,304 --> 01:04:25,141
We're cannibals,
Ian, not murderers.

1395
01:04:25,175 --> 01:04:27,210
No, I'm pretty sure that
cannibalism isn't legal

1396
01:04:27,243 --> 01:04:31,281
in the county of Barkshire,
and it is a health violation.

1397
01:04:31,314 --> 01:04:32,481
I knew it.

1398
01:04:46,564 --> 01:04:47,999
Oh perfect.

1399
01:04:48,032 --> 01:04:49,801
Another growl for us.

1400
01:04:59,746 --> 01:05:00,580
Again.

1401
01:05:14,330 --> 01:05:16,631
Am I looking past the
camera or at the camera.

1402
01:05:16,664 --> 01:05:19,268
You're looking
past the camera.

1403
01:05:22,872 --> 01:05:23,706
Meow.

1404
01:05:34,885 --> 01:05:35,685
Two seconds.

1405
01:05:44,263 --> 01:05:47,032
Oh, uh, sorry I have to go.

1406
01:05:47,066 --> 01:05:49,001
But I'll be, I've got
a family emergency.

1407
01:05:49,034 --> 01:05:50,602
But I'll be back.

1408
01:05:50,636 --> 01:05:51,737
Okay.

1409
01:07:36,087 --> 01:07:37,391
Ha!

1410
01:07:37,424 --> 01:07:38,858
I feel grateful
for the old Bart.

1411
01:07:38,891 --> 01:07:40,092
I like your hair.

1412
01:07:40,126 --> 01:07:41,361
Oh thanks, I grew it myself.

1413
01:07:41,395 --> 01:07:42,728
Your skin looks flawless.

1414
01:07:42,762 --> 01:07:44,063
Thank you.

1415
01:07:44,096 --> 01:07:45,032
Made it into a cream.

1416
01:07:45,065 --> 01:07:46,733
it's to die for, literally.

1417
01:07:46,767 --> 01:07:47,402
Look.

1418
01:07:49,370 --> 01:07:50,871
Starting shipping next week.

1419
01:07:50,904 --> 01:07:52,340
Hey, I heard you
turned Ralph down.

1420
01:07:52,373 --> 01:07:54,976
I had to, the skin
industry needed me, you know.

1421
01:07:55,009 --> 01:07:55,910
But they're still courting me.

1422
01:07:55,944 --> 01:07:58,180
Sending me Polo shirts
all day, every day.

1423
01:07:58,214 --> 01:08:00,048
Wow, Polo shirts
and beauty cream,

1424
01:08:00,081 --> 01:08:01,518
you're living the dream.

1425
01:08:01,551 --> 01:08:04,187
I saw that you cured cancer.

1426
01:08:04,221 --> 01:08:05,222
Well.

1427
01:08:05,255 --> 01:08:06,523
Yeah, you were
on this morning.

1428
01:08:06,556 --> 01:08:07,524
Phil was totally flirting
with you, by the way.

1429
01:08:07,557 --> 01:08:08,492
Oh, he's lovely.

1430
01:08:08,526 --> 01:08:09,460
He's a little too old for you.

1431
01:08:09,493 --> 01:08:10,528
Well, we're the same age.

1432
01:08:10,561 --> 01:08:11,495
Exactly.

1433
01:08:11,529 --> 01:08:12,463
Ian!

1434
01:08:12,496 --> 01:08:13,797
- Ah!
- Oh.

1435
01:08:13,830 --> 01:08:14,831
What?

1436
01:08:16,468 --> 01:08:17,502
Hello!

1437
01:08:17,536 --> 01:08:18,470
- Hello.
- Hi.

1438
01:08:18,503 --> 01:08:20,104
Ian, love the painting, man.

1439
01:08:20,137 --> 01:08:21,072
Thank you.

1440
01:08:21,105 --> 01:08:22,807
See, I hope your urgency

1441
01:08:22,840 --> 01:08:24,075
wasn't just to get us
down here for a pint, Ian.

1442
01:08:24,108 --> 01:08:25,345
Oh no, I need to
show you something.

1443
01:08:25,378 --> 01:08:27,012
Oh.

1444
01:08:27,045 --> 01:08:27,980
Is it a small protrudance
beneath your bedding,

1445
01:08:28,013 --> 01:08:29,349
because Lisa's busy with Phil.

1446
01:08:29,382 --> 01:08:32,084
Oh, Frankie, come on
now, this is serious.

1447
01:08:32,117 --> 01:08:33,086
Who's Phil?

1448
01:08:33,119 --> 01:08:34,854
Well he's just the,

1449
01:08:34,887 --> 01:08:35,522
you know what, it
doesn't matter.

1450
01:08:35,556 --> 01:08:37,090
What's going on?

1451
01:08:37,123 --> 01:08:38,192
Mm, let me show you.

1452
01:08:38,225 --> 01:08:40,059
Come on, come with me, come on.

1453
01:08:55,344 --> 01:08:56,946
Well what are we gonna do now?

1454
01:08:58,548 --> 01:09:00,250
Hello, hello, hello.

1455
01:09:00,284 --> 01:09:03,886
This is Sergeant
Bobby responding to

1456
01:09:03,919 --> 01:09:06,923
your distress voicemail
from a few months ago.

1457
01:09:06,957 --> 01:09:10,027
I apologise, I came
as quick as I could.

1458
01:09:33,254 --> 01:09:34,288
Is that right?

1459
01:09:34,322 --> 01:09:35,423
No, what do I say?

1460
01:09:35,456 --> 01:09:37,958
- What about the movie?
- See the dog.

1461
01:09:37,992 --> 01:09:39,026
Did anyone actually see the dog?

1462
01:09:39,060 --> 01:09:40,127
- Oh sorry.
- No no no no.

1463
01:09:40,162 --> 01:09:42,129
You say, what about the woman.

1464
01:09:42,164 --> 01:09:43,432
What about her?

1465
01:09:43,465 --> 01:09:44,400
What about the woman?

1466
01:09:44,434 --> 01:09:45,368
What about her?

1467
01:09:45,401 --> 01:09:46,935
Well we can't
just leave her here.

1468
01:09:46,968 --> 01:09:48,538
No, we can't tell
them about her.

1469
01:09:49,639 --> 01:09:50,473
We can't hurt her.

1470
01:09:50,506 --> 01:09:51,940
We'll do it again.

1471
01:09:51,973 --> 01:09:53,042
And we get as far away
from here as possible.

1472
01:09:53,076 --> 01:09:54,511
But no, sure, let's
barricade ourselves

1473
01:09:54,545 --> 01:09:56,347
and sit here like
sitting, sitting sit sits.

1474
01:09:56,380 --> 01:09:59,216
No, actually it's the
tenth smallest cunt.

1475
01:09:59,249 --> 01:10:00,552
County, whoopsy, whoopsy.

1476
01:10:02,620 --> 01:10:05,223
Let's do that bit again
'cause it was very good.

1477
01:10:06,524 --> 01:10:07,359
Ready.

1478
01:10:13,965 --> 01:10:15,201
Do you
think that's a good idea?

1479
01:10:15,234 --> 01:10:16,168
Oh no, I don't
think it'll work.

1480
01:10:16,202 --> 01:10:17,437
Ready, go ahead, go ahead.

1481
01:10:17,471 --> 01:10:19,038
You don't have one?

1482
01:10:19,071 --> 01:10:20,106
Have what?

1483
01:10:20,139 --> 01:10:21,208
Husband?

1484
01:10:21,241 --> 01:10:23,410
Uh, I'm recently
divorced, I have.

1485
01:10:23,443 --> 01:10:26,214
Well after all the dead
woman stuff, boil, brought.

1486
01:10:27,482 --> 01:10:28,449
What if we don't.

1487
01:10:28,483 --> 01:10:30,218
What is it?

1488
01:10:30,251 --> 01:10:31,219
The police
will know we're lying.

1489
01:10:31,252 --> 01:10:32,554
We can't knock the
intelligence of the police.

1490
01:10:32,588 --> 01:10:33,622
That's it.

1491
01:10:33,655 --> 01:10:35,557
The police will
know we're lying.

1492
01:10:35,591 --> 01:10:37,526
You can't knock the
intelligence of the police.

1493
01:10:37,559 --> 01:10:38,394
No no!

1494
01:10:38,427 --> 01:10:39,528
You said it too early.

1495
01:10:40,597 --> 01:10:42,931
Something about a dog.

1496
01:10:42,965 --> 01:10:45,934
No, I come in and I go.

1497
01:10:45,968 --> 01:10:48,003
Pick it up, and you
go, what about her?

1498
01:10:48,036 --> 01:10:48,706
What about?

1499
01:10:48,739 --> 01:10:50,039
Hang on, what about her?

1500
01:10:50,073 --> 01:10:51,409
And then.

1501
01:10:51,442 --> 01:10:52,243
How do we explain it to her?

1502
01:10:52,276 --> 01:10:53,577
The dog bit her.

1503
01:10:53,611 --> 01:10:55,713
And then you say, has
anyone seen the dog?

1504
01:10:55,746 --> 01:10:57,482
The dog.

1505
01:10:57,516 --> 01:10:58,583
I said, does anyone really
remember anything, yeah.

1506
01:10:58,617 --> 01:10:59,551
And you have to
write a flashback.

1507
01:10:59,584 --> 01:11:00,652
I don't remember everything.

1508
01:11:00,685 --> 01:11:02,153
- Let's do it again.
- Yeah.

1509
01:11:02,187 --> 01:11:05,090
Can't let, the police
will believe that lie.

1510
01:11:07,393 --> 01:11:08,394
Sorry.

1511
01:11:08,428 --> 01:11:10,196
You can't, what is it?

1512
01:11:10,229 --> 01:11:11,531
The police will
know if we're lying.

1513
01:11:11,564 --> 01:11:13,467
They're intelligent.

1514
01:11:13,500 --> 01:11:15,436
We'll just make
something up, exactly.

1515
01:11:17,337 --> 01:11:19,071
We can't lie to the police.

1516
01:11:19,105 --> 01:11:20,275
The po...

1517
01:11:21,176 --> 01:11:22,510
Fuck off with this line!

1518
01:11:22,544 --> 01:11:24,044
I've dialled seven nines.

1519
01:11:24,077 --> 01:11:26,381
Sorry.

1520
01:11:26,414 --> 01:11:28,081
Okay look, we'll
just make it up.

1521
01:11:28,115 --> 01:11:29,718
Exactly, we'll just make it up.

1522
01:11:30,653 --> 01:11:31,986
We can't lie to the police.

1523
01:11:32,020 --> 01:11:33,154
No.

1524
01:11:33,189 --> 01:11:34,423
The
police will know.

1525
01:11:34,457 --> 01:11:35,658
The police will
know if we're lying.

1526
01:11:35,691 --> 01:11:36,460
I can't wait for
the bloopers of this.

1527
01:11:36,493 --> 01:11:38,127
Go on, sorry.

1528
01:11:38,160 --> 01:11:39,429
The punch is that the police
is supposed to be smart.

1529
01:11:39,463 --> 01:11:40,464
Sure you're not
the murderer, Ian?

1530
01:11:41,798 --> 01:11:44,302
I am absolutely
not the murderer.

1531
01:11:46,204 --> 01:11:48,038
Her phone's ringing.

1532
01:11:51,275 --> 01:11:53,278
And action.

1533
01:11:56,215 --> 01:11:58,015
And.

1534
01:11:58,049 --> 01:11:59,284
Oh well, he didn't like this.

1535
01:11:59,318 --> 01:12:01,153
You
sound more and more

1536
01:12:01,187 --> 01:12:02,522
like a murderer each day, Ian.

1537
01:12:06,493 --> 01:12:07,460
Stop looking at me.

1538
01:12:07,494 --> 01:12:09,128
I say go, now ready?

1539
01:12:09,162 --> 01:12:09,996
Yes.

1540
01:12:12,333 --> 01:12:14,635
And cut.

1541
01:12:17,405 --> 01:12:19,741
He just
came from a walk.

1542
01:12:19,774 --> 01:12:21,243
I just
came from my walk.

1543
01:12:21,276 --> 01:12:23,043
Should
I give you other?

1544
01:12:23,077 --> 01:12:23,778
Yeah, please do.

1545
01:12:33,824 --> 01:12:34,758
There, that should
work, shouldn't it?

1546
01:12:34,791 --> 01:12:36,092
My father built that door!

1547
01:12:37,661 --> 01:12:39,596
And cut.

1548
01:12:40,465 --> 01:12:41,299
I'm sorry.

1549
01:12:41,332 --> 01:12:42,567
Thanks.

1550
01:12:46,804 --> 01:12:47,639
Oh shit.

1551
01:12:48,874 --> 01:12:49,708
Oh God, hang on.

1552
01:12:53,612 --> 01:12:55,281
Hang it up, hang it up.

1553
01:12:55,314 --> 01:12:56,850
I'm going from.

1554
01:12:56,883 --> 01:13:00,387
Just pick it up
and put it down.

1555
01:13:00,420 --> 01:13:02,422
Okay, roll.