1 00:00:06,047 --> 00:00:08,174 Set portside jettison. Hit that baby! 2 00:00:08,258 --> 00:00:11,177 We just jettisoned from the portside airlocks. 3 00:00:11,261 --> 00:00:13,179 We're gonna be home in six months, baby! 4 00:00:13,263 --> 00:00:14,597 No, the whole point 5 00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,516 is to jettison from the back of the ship 6 00:00:16,599 --> 00:00:18,351 because that's what pushes you forwards. 7 00:00:18,435 --> 00:00:20,895 You have knocked us off course. 8 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,731 BILLIE MCEVOY: Our new trajectory, eight years. 9 00:00:22,814 --> 00:00:24,691 (ALL SCREAM) 10 00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:27,235 -Don't touch my stuff! -(ALL SCREAM) 11 00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:30,447 ♪ (THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 12 00:00:36,369 --> 00:00:37,912 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 13 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:42,208 ANNOUNCER: (OVER PA) ...stand on deck four. Please report to reception. 14 00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:43,960 -(PASSENGERS CHATTERING QUIETLY) -Welcome. 15 00:00:44,043 --> 00:00:46,004 RYAN CLARK: Yeah, I have seen the actual security footage. 16 00:00:46,087 --> 00:00:47,797 -ELENA: Of you? -RYAN: Yes. Yes. 17 00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,215 Climbing into a dumpster like a raccoon? 18 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,385 (CHUCKLES) Like-- like an inebriated, sexy raccoon. 19 00:00:52,469 --> 00:00:55,680 -Ooh, my kind of raccoon. -(LAUGHS) 20 00:00:55,764 --> 00:00:56,806 ELENA: The chicken's good. 21 00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:58,141 -It's not bad, is it? -ELENA: Yeah. 22 00:00:58,224 --> 00:01:01,060 When you think that it's just reconstituted eel protein, 23 00:01:01,144 --> 00:01:02,520 it's actually-- it's actually all right. 24 00:01:02,604 --> 00:01:03,855 But are the portions getting smaller? 25 00:01:03,938 --> 00:01:06,649 No, I think you're just eating it from farther away, 26 00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,276 -so it looks... (CHUCKLES) -(CHUCKLES) 27 00:01:08,359 --> 00:01:11,279 But we've got enough for, like, the next four weeks? 28 00:01:11,362 --> 00:01:12,489 -Definitely. -ELENA: Yeah. 29 00:01:12,572 --> 00:01:14,449 We've got beef and chicken coming out of our ears. 30 00:01:14,532 --> 00:01:15,825 Coming out of our eels, in fact. 31 00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,702 (CHUCKLES) Oh, I love it when you talk eels to me. 32 00:01:17,786 --> 00:01:19,287 -Because I am captain... -ELENA: Yeah? 33 00:01:19,370 --> 00:01:21,956 ...anything I say is automatically seductive. 34 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:24,125 -Hmm. -Pass the salt. 35 00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,251 Oh, yeah, condiment man. 36 00:01:25,335 --> 00:01:26,878 Afraid grandma's not gonna make it. 37 00:01:26,961 --> 00:01:28,296 Oh, poor grandma. 38 00:01:28,379 --> 00:01:30,298 Honey, I'm filing for divorce. 39 00:01:31,758 --> 00:01:35,053 Oh. I'm sorry. That was... (GROANS) 40 00:01:35,136 --> 00:01:37,180 Captain Blunder Gob strikes again. 41 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:38,848 No, no, it's okay. Ignore my face. 42 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:41,684 Charles is history. He jumped ship a long time ago, so... 43 00:01:41,768 --> 00:01:43,353 I'm sorry, I'm just so-- 44 00:01:43,436 --> 00:01:45,855 I'm so not match fit at this kind of thing. 45 00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,273 No, you really are. 46 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,484 FRANK KELLY: (OVER TV) I made these waffles this morning. 47 00:01:49,567 --> 00:01:52,654 -And look at that. -(CHUCKLES) He's so funny. 48 00:01:52,737 --> 00:01:54,531 -You got your batter. -RYAN: There he goes. 49 00:01:54,614 --> 00:01:56,324 We got our ice cube tray for the mold. 50 00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:58,660 RYAN: Doing recipes out of bits of his cabin. 51 00:01:58,743 --> 00:02:01,120 And pour the mixture onto our preheated iron. 52 00:02:01,204 --> 00:02:03,706 -The kids love his show. -So do I. 53 00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,375 -ELENA: Do you? -I absolutely love it. 54 00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,627 It sounds crazy, but crazy happens 55 00:02:07,710 --> 00:02:08,920 when you crank up the Frank. 56 00:02:09,003 --> 00:02:11,840 And the kids, I'd love to get to know them better. 57 00:02:11,923 --> 00:02:13,007 Give them a tour of the ship. 58 00:02:13,091 --> 00:02:15,134 Oh, my God, the kids would love that. 59 00:02:15,218 --> 00:02:17,804 So maybe this could be more than four weeks? 60 00:02:17,887 --> 00:02:21,558 I think it could be a lot more than four weeks. 61 00:02:21,641 --> 00:02:23,268 -Yeah. -(CELLPHONE RINGING) 62 00:02:23,351 --> 00:02:25,061 -I think I should get this. -Mm-hmm. 63 00:02:25,144 --> 00:02:27,355 Hey, Ryan, uh, this is just your daily reminder 64 00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,232 to tell the passengers that they're gonna be stuck 65 00:02:29,315 --> 00:02:31,985 on this elegant space finger for nearly a decade. 66 00:02:32,068 --> 00:02:33,528 It's Matt. 67 00:02:33,611 --> 00:02:36,322 You know, I'm going to put this on do-not-disturb. 68 00:02:36,406 --> 00:02:38,867 MATT SPENCER: Well, they seem to be taking it well. 69 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,994 -What? -Did he tell you? 70 00:02:41,077 --> 00:02:43,746 Uh, no-- no, I was just-- 71 00:02:43,830 --> 00:02:45,456 -Would you excuse me a moment? -Sure. 72 00:02:45,540 --> 00:02:47,500 (SINGING) ♪ It's time For a royal announcement ♪ 73 00:02:47,584 --> 00:02:49,794 -No, no, no. (LAUGHS) -ELENA: Oh, my God, what is it? 74 00:02:49,878 --> 00:02:51,838 -Duty calls. Duty howls, in fact. -Thank you. 75 00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:54,382 You have to tell the truth, Ryan. 76 00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,551 Should I use a more aggressive tack? 77 00:02:56,634 --> 00:02:57,927 Because I find that British people 78 00:02:58,011 --> 00:03:00,096 often respond better to abuse than encouragement. 79 00:03:00,179 --> 00:03:01,431 Now, look, Matt, 80 00:03:01,514 --> 00:03:04,475 you telling me that my breath smells like a cat's back passage 81 00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,561 is not gonna make me tell them any quicker. 82 00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,271 Okay, just humor me. 83 00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:09,898 Craptain Ryan, Craptain Lying. 84 00:03:09,981 --> 00:03:11,524 RYAN: Oh, is this-- You've started, have you? 85 00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:12,609 -Mm-hmm. -All right. 86 00:03:12,692 --> 00:03:15,278 Yeah, you depressed, anorexic Santa Claus. 87 00:03:15,361 --> 00:03:16,821 -That's what you are. -RYAN: Mm-hmm. 88 00:03:16,905 --> 00:03:18,865 How do you shave that face of lies? 89 00:03:18,948 --> 00:03:20,241 -I use an electric. -Yeah? 90 00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:22,076 Well, you're a pissy little mummy's boy. 91 00:03:22,160 --> 00:03:23,995 -Mummy's boy! -My mother's dead. 92 00:03:24,078 --> 00:03:27,874 Yes, because she hated you, so she exploded. 93 00:03:27,957 --> 00:03:29,250 -Hmm. -Is this getting us anywhere? 94 00:03:29,334 --> 00:03:30,460 -It's not, no, no. -Okay. 95 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,296 I'll tell you why. Because if I tell the passengers 96 00:03:33,379 --> 00:03:35,381 that we are stuck up here for another eight years 97 00:03:35,465 --> 00:03:36,633 and the food is running out, 98 00:03:36,716 --> 00:03:39,135 I'm gonna become the next all-you-can-eat buffet. 99 00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:42,305 I will tell them when I've seen the food shortage plan 100 00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:43,556 that Rav is working on. 101 00:03:43,640 --> 00:03:46,809 Ping! Sounds like Rav's food shortage plan is ready. 102 00:03:46,893 --> 00:03:49,228 Yes, that is exactly what me being here signifies 103 00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,356 and presumably what that pinging sound was about. 104 00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:53,691 Oh, here's someone who knows what a long time looks like. 105 00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:56,027 -(SCOFFS) -Spike Martin, come join us please. 106 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:59,364 Yes, I certainly will. Totally impromptu. 107 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:01,157 This is feeling to me like an intervention. 108 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:04,869 Ryan, it's time to retract your head from your ass. 109 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:08,998 -Don't be afraid of the truth. -I'm not afraid of the truth. 110 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:11,167 I'm just afraid of it leaving my lips. 111 00:04:11,250 --> 00:04:15,004 -♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -Jell-O in a shower cap mold. 112 00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:17,423 Check out Frank's Kitchen every day at 3:00. 113 00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:20,259 It's home cooking, without the home. 114 00:04:21,177 --> 00:04:22,428 Love that jiggle. 115 00:04:23,805 --> 00:04:24,889 Food's taken a dive. 116 00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:28,017 I had a one-season four seasons pizza yesterday. 117 00:04:28,101 --> 00:04:29,143 -Winter. -VINCE: Ah, the worst. 118 00:04:29,227 --> 00:04:30,812 I like the food being all the same color. 119 00:04:30,895 --> 00:04:32,939 It's less confusing for my mouth. 120 00:04:33,022 --> 00:04:34,607 -God, I miss real tomatoes. -Tell me about it. 121 00:04:34,691 --> 00:04:36,150 -DEVON: I know, right? -Tell me about it. 122 00:04:36,234 --> 00:04:38,820 I am so desperate for... (SNIFFS) 123 00:04:38,903 --> 00:04:40,989 ...relatable vegetables myself. 124 00:04:41,072 --> 00:04:42,448 I don't know how you're still eating that. 125 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:43,950 -You have to stop. -Well, the good news is, 126 00:04:44,033 --> 00:04:46,160 is we only have to deal with four more weeks of that. 127 00:04:46,244 --> 00:04:48,079 I mean, Captain Ryan would've told us if the trip 128 00:04:48,162 --> 00:04:49,414 -is gonna be any longer. -VINCE: Yeah. 129 00:04:49,497 --> 00:04:52,000 Unless he has a good reason not to, which he doesn't. 130 00:04:52,083 --> 00:04:55,044 Not that I'd know. Why are you asking? 131 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:57,046 -Isn't this your ship? -What? 132 00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:59,590 -Isn't this your ship? -Ship... 133 00:05:00,299 --> 00:05:01,634 Yeah, name only. 134 00:05:01,718 --> 00:05:03,553 You know, you could just as easily blame 135 00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:06,014 Martin Luther King for king-sized beds. 136 00:05:06,097 --> 00:05:07,682 -MADS: Blame him for kings. -Or kings. 137 00:05:07,765 --> 00:05:09,642 -Or sizes. -BILLIE: Can I grab you? 138 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,227 Rav is ready with the food report 139 00:05:11,310 --> 00:05:12,478 in the boardroom. 140 00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,522 That sounds more like a Ryan kind of thing. 141 00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:16,941 I don't even know where the, uh, boardroom is. 142 00:05:17,025 --> 00:05:19,193 That's true, I was in the boardroom once, 143 00:05:19,277 --> 00:05:21,404 and Mr. Judd came in, and he said, 144 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:23,614 "Oh, what is this room?" 145 00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:28,369 Um, I'm not good at whatever this-- 146 00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,371 Your face-- What-- What are you doing? 147 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:33,791 Nothing. Like my role on this ship. 148 00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:37,920 Well, I hear that it's good news and that you will like it. 149 00:05:38,004 --> 00:05:39,756 -I should take that. -Later. 150 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:41,007 See you later. 151 00:05:41,090 --> 00:05:42,300 (WHISPERING) What's the good news? 152 00:05:42,383 --> 00:05:43,968 It's not good news, and the boardroom is this way. 153 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:46,429 Don't patronize me, I know where the fucking boardroom is. 154 00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:47,555 Oh, my God. 155 00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:50,475 Tomorrow, I'm cooking steak in a trouser press. 156 00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:54,103 Remember, folks, anything can be a garnish 157 00:05:54,187 --> 00:05:55,646 if you're brave enough. 158 00:05:55,730 --> 00:05:56,731 (CAMERA BEEPS) 159 00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,941 Honey, I'm done filming my show! 160 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,276 KAREN KELLY: It's not a show, Frank. 161 00:06:00,359 --> 00:06:04,072 It's you on a video feed making popcorn with a hairdryer. 162 00:06:04,155 --> 00:06:07,241 -(SIGHS) -KAREN: God, I've been here for months. 163 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:09,410 When can I leave this cabin? 164 00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:11,704 You know what? I'm done. 165 00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:13,623 I'm done. It's time to get out of here. 166 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,208 -What? No! -Let me go and talk to them. 167 00:06:15,291 --> 00:06:16,417 -Honey, you can't! -I can just-- 168 00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:17,585 I can beg forgiveness. 169 00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,962 I can be very, very humble when I need to be. 170 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:22,465 Do you remember when I ran over your sister's foot? 171 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:26,844 Karen, you knocked us off course for eight years. They hate you. 172 00:06:26,928 --> 00:06:28,805 -They hate me? -FRANK: I... (SIGHS) 173 00:06:28,888 --> 00:06:32,308 Hate is such a strong word. Uh... (SIGHS) 174 00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:35,311 Which is why it's so appropriate for how they feel about you. 175 00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,355 Okay? 176 00:06:37,438 --> 00:06:40,316 I have to go bowling with the guys. I'm going to see 177 00:06:40,399 --> 00:06:42,652 if they're still drawing your face on the pins. 178 00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:45,780 ♪ (WHIMSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 179 00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:50,743 PASSENGER: Hey, I saw you making them waffles. They looked good. 180 00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,078 -Didn't they? -PASSENGER: Yeah. 181 00:06:52,161 --> 00:06:53,246 I'm glad you watched. 182 00:06:53,329 --> 00:06:54,956 We got to get you watching, man. Come on. 183 00:06:57,500 --> 00:07:01,337 Hey, new faces and some old ones I haven't seen in so long, 184 00:07:01,420 --> 00:07:02,588 they seem like new ones. 185 00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:04,215 Just stop it, will you? We're not buying it. 186 00:07:04,298 --> 00:07:05,341 Buying what? 187 00:07:05,424 --> 00:07:06,843 The whole "I don't know what's going on" thing. 188 00:07:06,926 --> 00:07:09,470 Is there something going on, Ryan, that I don't know about? 189 00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:12,056 Judd, shut your bit. Rav, let's hear it. 190 00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:13,432 I've put some numbers into the model, 191 00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:16,352 and the results are... (LAUGHS) Whoo! 192 00:07:16,435 --> 00:07:20,106 Relax, nobody's gonna shoot you. You're just the messenger. 193 00:07:20,189 --> 00:07:22,316 Oh, I'm sorry, I just get quite nervous when I'm... 194 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,609 (INHALES) ...nervous. 195 00:07:23,693 --> 00:07:25,111 MATT: That's an eclectic outfit. 196 00:07:25,194 --> 00:07:27,196 Are you trying to, uh, flummox predators? 197 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,614 All right, well, I arrived on the ship 198 00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:29,782 with a limited wardrobe, 199 00:07:29,866 --> 00:07:31,993 so I had to borrow a few items from the deceased. 200 00:07:32,076 --> 00:07:33,661 And technically, it's not even really borrowing 201 00:07:33,744 --> 00:07:35,621 'cause it's unlikely they'll want it back. They're-- 202 00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,540 -Rav, the plan. -RAV MULCAIR: Sorry, yes, okay. 203 00:07:37,623 --> 00:07:39,333 (CLEARS THROAT) Obviously, we're all aware 204 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:42,503 of the food and resources shortage issue. 205 00:07:42,587 --> 00:07:43,921 JUDD: No. 206 00:07:44,005 --> 00:07:46,090 I'm sorry. I really am dropping it now. 207 00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,550 RAV: And so... (CLEARS THROAT) 208 00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:49,844 The passengers will be split into two groups. 209 00:07:49,927 --> 00:07:51,470 The first group... 210 00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:54,724 the Guaranteed... 211 00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,143 will be fed. 212 00:07:58,477 --> 00:08:01,814 The second group will be given a chance to... 213 00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:04,192 manifest their own... 214 00:08:05,443 --> 00:08:06,444 destiny... 215 00:08:08,529 --> 00:08:09,864 sealed below deck. 216 00:08:11,782 --> 00:08:13,284 RYAN: What? 217 00:08:13,367 --> 00:08:15,036 That's it? That's your plan? 218 00:08:15,119 --> 00:08:17,705 That we turn half the passengers into a screaming, 219 00:08:17,788 --> 00:08:19,373 underfloor heating system? 220 00:08:19,457 --> 00:08:22,418 Oh, this is going to put a stain on my record. 221 00:08:22,501 --> 00:08:25,171 RAV: We would obviously provide them with some initial supplies, 222 00:08:25,254 --> 00:08:28,341 seeds, sourdough cultures, a urine filtration system. 223 00:08:28,424 --> 00:08:31,344 And then to benefit the mental health 224 00:08:31,427 --> 00:08:36,682 of the Guaranteed, we would cease all communication with... 225 00:08:38,559 --> 00:08:40,603 -the Pioneers. -RYAN: "Pioneers"? 226 00:08:40,686 --> 00:08:43,231 What-- Pioneers of what? Pop-up cemeteries? 227 00:08:43,314 --> 00:08:45,066 Okay, if you could just take some of that rage 228 00:08:45,149 --> 00:08:46,859 and direct it towards the model. 229 00:08:46,943 --> 00:08:48,194 Did you know about this? 230 00:08:48,277 --> 00:08:51,614 I knew that we would have to make some difficult decisions. 231 00:08:51,697 --> 00:08:54,325 I just didn't know it'd be explained with stickers. 232 00:08:54,408 --> 00:08:55,743 Why would people do this? 233 00:08:55,826 --> 00:08:58,079 Uh, you said there'd be no judgement here. 234 00:08:58,162 --> 00:09:00,706 That was before you suggested industrial slaughter. 235 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:03,251 I have a question. What the fuck? 236 00:09:03,334 --> 00:09:05,670 Look, I don't like this, but something's got to give. 237 00:09:05,753 --> 00:09:08,339 -It's either die or die. -I vote against Rav's plan. 238 00:09:08,422 --> 00:09:11,926 Okay, but yeah, let's not call Rav's plan "Rav's Plan." 239 00:09:12,009 --> 00:09:14,178 -Okay, stop saying "Rav's plan." -RYAN: What would you prefer? 240 00:09:14,262 --> 00:09:17,056 "Rav Mulcair's Festival of Murder"? 241 00:09:17,139 --> 00:09:20,768 Look, is it not better that half of us die quickly 242 00:09:20,851 --> 00:09:22,770 than that all of us starve slowly, 243 00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,981 -just to play devil's advocate? -RYAN: And that's okay, is it? 244 00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:26,941 Advocating for the devil. I'm not sure if you're aware, 245 00:09:27,024 --> 00:09:29,986 Matt, but the devil's generally agreed to be a bad egg. 246 00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:31,487 Well, thanks, Rav. 247 00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:33,281 Turns out it's not so easy, is it? 248 00:09:33,364 --> 00:09:34,991 Raining blood on people's dreams? 249 00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:36,492 SPIKE MARTIN: You're gonna have to tell them 250 00:09:36,575 --> 00:09:38,369 we're not going home in a month, Ryan. 251 00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:40,997 Yes, that is something I do know. 252 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,666 Not going to do it. You can't make me tell them. 253 00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:45,668 I'm going to go and gargle some bleach now, 254 00:09:45,751 --> 00:09:47,503 so my voice box packs in. 255 00:09:47,586 --> 00:09:49,338 No, that will actually kill you. 256 00:09:49,422 --> 00:09:50,631 RYAN: Added bonus. 257 00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:55,052 ♪ (MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 258 00:09:55,136 --> 00:09:58,681 If these are the Heavens, Mr. Judd, are we then gods? 259 00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:02,351 -(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) -Or stardust returning home? 260 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,020 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 261 00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:06,856 DAWN DJOPI: After a freak accident, Avenue 5 is stuck in space, 262 00:10:06,939 --> 00:10:09,817 but a new streaming drama imagining life on the ship 263 00:10:09,900 --> 00:10:12,236 -is fuckin' hella trending. -(GLASS SHATTERS) 264 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:16,991 Iris, turn around. Talk to me. Let me see your lying face! 265 00:10:17,074 --> 00:10:19,076 -(GRUNTS) -Is that what you wanted? 266 00:10:19,160 --> 00:10:20,453 (SPITS) 267 00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:22,038 Who are you? 268 00:10:22,121 --> 00:10:24,999 Now, we're gonna meet a real-life survivor 269 00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:29,628 and all-around girly boss bad bitch, Iris Kimura. 270 00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:30,755 -Whoo! -♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 271 00:10:30,838 --> 00:10:32,214 -BAT SHIT: Hi, Dawn. -Come on, some love! 272 00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:34,508 Whoo-hoo! Whoo! (COUGHS) 273 00:10:34,592 --> 00:10:36,719 SHARTINGQUEEN: Your cough is the best. 274 00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:39,472 The government has abandoned us, and we need your-- 275 00:10:39,555 --> 00:10:40,931 -DAWN: Iris, spill the tea. -Yeah. 276 00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:45,478 Is the real Avenue 5 anything like this new streaming drama? 277 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:48,356 Well, the real captain has a beard. 278 00:10:48,439 --> 00:10:51,025 (LAUGHS) And, uh, I'm here. 279 00:10:51,108 --> 00:10:53,069 -DAWN: Yeah. -You know, not in space, uh-- 280 00:10:53,152 --> 00:10:54,487 DALAI LAME-ASS: I don't get it. 281 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:56,989 But-- but more importantly, the government has abandoned us, 282 00:10:57,073 --> 00:10:59,033 -and we need-- -Don't fuck off while she's talking. 283 00:10:59,116 --> 00:11:00,326 Stick around. In thirty minutes, 284 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,703 I will be unpacking a suitcase I found on my driveway. 285 00:11:02,787 --> 00:11:04,080 ILIKECLIMATECHANGE: I love suitcases. 286 00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,539 Back to Iris. 287 00:11:05,623 --> 00:11:08,292 Uh, yes, the-- the government has abandoned us, 288 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:09,627 so we need to fund a-- 289 00:11:09,710 --> 00:11:11,295 JOHN-THE-BAP-FIST: Fuck the government. 290 00:11:11,379 --> 00:11:14,882 Yes, John-The-Bap-Fist, uh, I'm here to raise awareness, 291 00:11:14,965 --> 00:11:17,676 -by which I mean money. And-- -HELPMESWIM: Show us your feet. 292 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:19,762 Really? Are they gonna keep interrupting every time-- 293 00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,514 Why are the comms down, Iris? 294 00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,391 -I-- I don't know. -DAWN: Spit it, sister. 295 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,725 Well, because the comms are down, 296 00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,435 -I don't-- It's hard to-- -DAWN: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 297 00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,020 LORDBACKSIDE: Why doesn't her face move? 298 00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,438 -(DAWN LAUGHS) -I can move my face. 299 00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,606 -DAWN: Show 'em, Iris. -No. 300 00:11:30,689 --> 00:11:32,149 DAWN: Do it. 301 00:11:32,233 --> 00:11:33,901 TEMPURASAM: Will she take the cheese cracker challenge then? 302 00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:35,069 -Yes. -No. No. 303 00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:36,737 DAWN: How are the passengers coping with the news 304 00:11:36,821 --> 00:11:38,197 they're stuck for eight years? 305 00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:39,740 STINKYRICK: Did they freak the fuck out? 306 00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:43,953 They took it with dignity, StinkyRick. 307 00:11:44,036 --> 00:11:46,247 I mean, I imagine. I wasn't there. 308 00:11:47,123 --> 00:11:48,499 And also, the comms are down. 309 00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:50,501 Right, but they know they're stuck for eight years. 310 00:11:50,584 --> 00:11:51,836 They-- they have been told. 311 00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:54,088 -(SLURPS) -♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪ 312 00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:57,299 Should we do the, uh, just do the cracker challenge now, 313 00:11:57,383 --> 00:11:59,301 -get it over with? -She wants those crackers. 314 00:11:59,385 --> 00:12:02,471 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 315 00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,057 Question one. If you could go back in time 316 00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:06,517 and murder one historical figure, 317 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:07,643 who would it be? 318 00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:10,062 Jay Leno. 319 00:12:10,146 --> 00:12:11,439 ♪ (QUIRKY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 320 00:12:11,522 --> 00:12:13,149 RAV: I mean, you can only work with the options you're given. 321 00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:15,067 Mass death or selective death. 322 00:12:15,151 --> 00:12:16,652 There's no vegan option. I'm sorry. 323 00:12:16,735 --> 00:12:18,529 But I do think we owe it to the passengers 324 00:12:18,612 --> 00:12:20,197 to prepare them for the possibility 325 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,907 -that it's gonna be eight years. -RAV: No. 326 00:12:21,991 --> 00:12:24,785 -Let's utterly not do that. -MATT: Yeah, I'm going to. 327 00:12:24,869 --> 00:12:27,455 (WHISPERING) What the shaved dickens are you doing? 328 00:12:27,538 --> 00:12:29,623 -Sir, hey. -No! (COUGHS) 329 00:12:29,707 --> 00:12:31,542 We are doing a little survey of the passengers... 330 00:12:31,625 --> 00:12:32,835 -Hi. -...about what they are 331 00:12:32,918 --> 00:12:34,712 least looking forward to back on Earth. 332 00:12:34,795 --> 00:12:36,172 There's nothing I'm not looking forward to. 333 00:12:36,255 --> 00:12:39,008 I hate it up here. Breathing recycled farts. 334 00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:41,010 Well, that was a lovely chat. (WHISPERING) Let's go. 335 00:12:41,093 --> 00:12:42,595 No, no, no. Come on, come on. 336 00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,597 Maybe there's a coworker you work with, right? 337 00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,849 Where you think, "Ugh, if I didn't see that prick again 338 00:12:46,932 --> 00:12:49,059 for eight years, that would be perfect." 339 00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:51,604 What? Eight years? That's a crazy number. 340 00:12:51,687 --> 00:12:52,897 Sorry, what is this? 341 00:12:52,980 --> 00:12:56,859 This? This is just a short, one-question hypothetical. 342 00:12:56,942 --> 00:12:58,652 That was great feedback. 343 00:12:58,736 --> 00:13:00,029 Oh, you want some feedback? 344 00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:01,864 The kettle in my cabin stopped whistling. 345 00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:04,992 It just splutters like a sea otter being choked out. 346 00:13:05,075 --> 00:13:06,827 Um, so there's a suggestion box 347 00:13:06,911 --> 00:13:09,288 -on, um, deck five. -'Course there is. 348 00:13:09,371 --> 00:13:10,748 -RAV: Off you go. -CHARLES: Thanks. 349 00:13:10,831 --> 00:13:12,833 The dumpling mold is the pocket of your pants. 350 00:13:12,917 --> 00:13:14,835 Just make sure you're not wearing the pants. 351 00:13:14,919 --> 00:13:17,213 Hey, Rav, what if we used Frank 352 00:13:17,296 --> 00:13:19,632 to tell the passengers about the eight years? 353 00:13:19,715 --> 00:13:22,301 Frank, the guy who made a haggis in a condom? 354 00:13:22,384 --> 00:13:23,427 Yeah, it was delicious. 355 00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,305 His show has reach, right? We could use him 356 00:13:26,388 --> 00:13:29,850 to help the passengers acclimate to the coming blunder-fuck. 357 00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:31,268 ♪ (TRANQUIL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 358 00:13:31,352 --> 00:13:33,604 -Sorry about earlier -Which earlier? 359 00:13:33,687 --> 00:13:35,648 Yeah, good point. All of them, I suppose. 360 00:13:37,024 --> 00:13:38,234 Everything all right with the eels? 361 00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,528 Apart from the fact that we get all our food from them. 362 00:13:40,611 --> 00:13:42,279 Yeah, they're still not reproducing at the rate 363 00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:43,364 that we need them to, 364 00:13:43,447 --> 00:13:46,367 so we may have to stimulate reproduction. 365 00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:48,786 Manually? Like-- like they do with horses? 366 00:13:48,869 --> 00:13:50,788 Yeah, not totally out of the question. 367 00:13:50,871 --> 00:13:52,331 RYAN: No, I would say that it is, 368 00:13:52,414 --> 00:13:54,875 but that's because I'd always imagined my fate hinging 369 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,086 on something nobler than wanking an eel. 370 00:13:57,169 --> 00:13:58,295 But there you go. 371 00:13:58,754 --> 00:13:59,797 Life is pain. 372 00:14:01,131 --> 00:14:02,675 I've got to go and tell the passengers. 373 00:14:02,758 --> 00:14:03,968 -BILLIE: You're what? -RYAN: Yep. 374 00:14:04,051 --> 00:14:05,844 I'm going to tell them that we're not going to get home 375 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:07,763 -for eight years. -Really? 376 00:14:07,846 --> 00:14:10,057 You're gonna do it? You-- You-- You're gonna tell them? 377 00:14:10,140 --> 00:14:12,268 I am resisting with every fiber of my being, 378 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:14,478 which is how I know it's the right thing to do. 379 00:14:14,562 --> 00:14:16,188 (DOORBELL RINGS) 380 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:18,274 Wow, that could be a mob. 381 00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:20,276 Sweetie, you should go hide in the bathroom. 382 00:14:20,359 --> 00:14:23,487 Nice. Put the troll back in the cave. 383 00:14:23,571 --> 00:14:24,572 -Hi. -FRANK: Hey. 384 00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:25,906 Bit of an urgent situation. 385 00:14:25,990 --> 00:14:28,367 We were wondering if you would do some public outreach work 386 00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,910 for us on your show. 387 00:14:29,994 --> 00:14:31,954 Consider it done, of course. Yeah, happy to. 388 00:14:32,037 --> 00:14:33,122 -RAV: Well, thank you. -Yeah, um-- 389 00:14:33,205 --> 00:14:35,082 Hold on, why would you wanna use Frank? 390 00:14:35,165 --> 00:14:37,835 -Oh, God. -KAREN: I mean, his audience must be tiny, 391 00:14:37,918 --> 00:14:40,004 and I'm guessing most of them watch it on mute, so... 392 00:14:40,087 --> 00:14:41,380 All right, sweetie, why don't you 393 00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:44,174 maybe go take a nap or write in your penance journal. 394 00:14:44,258 --> 00:14:45,217 Okay? 395 00:14:45,301 --> 00:14:47,595 Okay, the-- the passengers love Frank, 396 00:14:47,678 --> 00:14:49,722 so we can use that to tell the people 397 00:14:49,805 --> 00:14:52,016 that it's gonna be eight years till we're back to Earth. 398 00:14:52,099 --> 00:14:54,727 (SIGHS) Everyone knows we're eight years from Earth. 399 00:14:54,810 --> 00:14:56,604 I mean, why would you pick at that scab? 400 00:14:56,687 --> 00:14:58,647 Exactly, that's why we need Frank to soften-- 401 00:14:59,523 --> 00:15:00,691 -Wait, sorry. -I'm sorry? 402 00:15:00,774 --> 00:15:02,943 -You think the passengers know? -Of course they know. 403 00:15:03,027 --> 00:15:04,987 That's why Frank's bricked me up in here, 404 00:15:05,070 --> 00:15:07,781 -'cause everybody blames me. -Oh, my God. 405 00:15:07,865 --> 00:15:09,908 -Hmm. -You kept her in here? 406 00:15:09,992 --> 00:15:11,785 Uh, kept-- kept is-- That's a strong word. 407 00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,204 It's-- it's like a shrouding. 408 00:15:14,288 --> 00:15:15,414 KAREN: Wait a minute. 409 00:15:15,497 --> 00:15:18,334 The passengers don't know? Ryan hasn't told them yet? 410 00:15:18,417 --> 00:15:20,961 No, they think we're four weeks from Earth because of you. 411 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,464 Karen, you could be out there living like a GI 412 00:15:23,547 --> 00:15:26,425 who liberated Paris right now with garlands of flowers 413 00:15:26,508 --> 00:15:27,801 and multiple STDs. 414 00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:30,137 You told me 415 00:15:30,220 --> 00:15:33,807 that I couldn't leave the cabin because the passengers wanted 416 00:15:33,891 --> 00:15:36,560 to use my sphincter as a hockey puck. 417 00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:38,687 -RAV: Ooh. -I was protecting her. 418 00:15:38,771 --> 00:15:39,855 It's like, you know, 419 00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:41,857 sometimes the best way of protecting someone 420 00:15:41,940 --> 00:15:45,069 -is by subjugating them. -Oh, Frank. 421 00:15:45,152 --> 00:15:47,988 Okay, but, Frank, the vow is "to have and to hold," right? 422 00:15:48,072 --> 00:15:50,574 -Not "hold hostage." -It's always the quiet ones. 423 00:15:50,658 --> 00:15:52,409 FRANK: I just had the chance to be me. 424 00:15:52,493 --> 00:15:54,495 -What? -FRANK: I know now that that was wrong. 425 00:15:54,578 --> 00:15:57,331 (BREATHES HEAVILY) I have to tell these guys the truth. 426 00:15:57,414 --> 00:15:59,083 -Everybody needs to know. -FRANK: No! No, no, no. 427 00:15:59,166 --> 00:16:00,501 RAV: No, look, I don't deal well with chaos! 428 00:16:00,584 --> 00:16:02,461 Um, please, can somebody get me a weighted blanket 429 00:16:02,544 --> 00:16:03,545 and a red inhaler? 430 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,714 You're gonna be inhaling my red fist... 431 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:06,882 (SQUEALS) 432 00:16:06,965 --> 00:16:09,301 KAREN: ...if somebody doesn't bring me Captain Ryan 433 00:16:09,385 --> 00:16:11,762 -right here, right now! -RAV: Help. 434 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:13,806 Wow, I am so proud of you. 435 00:16:13,889 --> 00:16:15,057 Well, that's a first. 436 00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:18,310 Yeah, it's like watching my child learn how to walk. 437 00:16:18,394 --> 00:16:19,728 But how you gonna tell 'em? 438 00:16:19,812 --> 00:16:22,231 Uh, I was thinking very badly. 439 00:16:22,314 --> 00:16:24,566 No, no, no. Come on. You're gonna be great. 440 00:16:24,650 --> 00:16:26,193 You want to rehearse the whole thing with me? 441 00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:29,446 No thanks. You don't rehearse expelling kidney stones. 442 00:16:29,530 --> 00:16:32,199 No, I just, uh, I've got to go in there and just do it. 443 00:16:32,282 --> 00:16:34,535 Yes. You just got to do it. You just got to take the leap, 444 00:16:34,618 --> 00:16:36,495 -and you got to just do it! -I'm going to do it! 445 00:16:36,578 --> 00:16:38,330 You tell the truth, and you make me proud! 446 00:16:38,414 --> 00:16:39,915 -I'm gonna make myself proud. -Yes. 447 00:16:39,998 --> 00:16:41,917 I'm gonna confront all my weaknesses. 448 00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:44,086 All previous wrongs will be corrected. 449 00:16:44,169 --> 00:16:45,754 Karen has entered the game. 450 00:16:45,838 --> 00:16:47,840 After I've dealt with this. 451 00:16:49,550 --> 00:16:53,053 ♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 452 00:16:53,137 --> 00:16:57,307 -TV JUDD: What is it, Iris? -Is this love? What we have? 453 00:16:58,684 --> 00:17:01,437 If love is mostly darkness, yes. 454 00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,772 -♪ (MUSIC CONTINUES OVER TV) ♪ -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) 455 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:05,190 -Oh. -(TV TURNS OFF) 456 00:17:05,274 --> 00:17:07,234 LORI HERNANDEZ: Uh, we saw the interview. 457 00:17:07,317 --> 00:17:08,402 Fun, right? 458 00:17:08,485 --> 00:17:10,738 You don't think the lighting made me look severe? 459 00:17:10,821 --> 00:17:12,614 -LORI: Uh... -LUCAS SATO: Yeah, just put it down there. 460 00:17:12,698 --> 00:17:13,699 Can I help you? 461 00:17:13,782 --> 00:17:15,200 LUCAS: Uh, no, I'm good. 462 00:17:17,119 --> 00:17:20,330 Oh, God, that is-- that is well gone. 463 00:17:20,414 --> 00:17:22,291 Get me a ginger snap and an update. 464 00:17:22,374 --> 00:17:24,918 Okay, take the science project and go home. 465 00:17:25,002 --> 00:17:28,547 I say home. I assume wherever you sleep has a license plate. 466 00:17:28,630 --> 00:17:31,842 Okay, first up, I'm here to fix the delay with the ship's comms. 467 00:17:32,509 --> 00:17:33,927 I like the delay. 468 00:17:34,011 --> 00:17:36,764 This is an algorithm generator. It analyses your chat profile 469 00:17:36,847 --> 00:17:38,515 to accurately predict what you're going to say, 470 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:39,641 and then says it. 471 00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,310 All you need is a big enough user data set. 472 00:17:41,393 --> 00:17:42,644 So, if you'd pass me your tablet? 473 00:17:42,728 --> 00:17:44,688 -Under no circumstances. -Okay, give me your tablet. 474 00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:46,982 Absolutely. There you are. 475 00:17:47,066 --> 00:17:48,317 -What are you-- -(KEYBOARD TAPPING) 476 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,444 See, it now knows enough about Alan 477 00:17:50,527 --> 00:17:53,030 to predict how he'll respond in any situation. 478 00:17:53,781 --> 00:17:55,491 Try it. Have a chat. 479 00:17:55,574 --> 00:17:56,784 I don't chat with Alan. 480 00:17:56,867 --> 00:17:58,786 Oh, go on. Cross something off your bucket list. 481 00:17:59,536 --> 00:18:00,871 (CLEARS THROAT) 482 00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:03,665 Hi. 483 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:05,793 That's it? Hi? 484 00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,503 How are you? 485 00:18:08,170 --> 00:18:09,671 Uh, nervous. 486 00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:11,882 Anything else to say for yourself? 487 00:18:11,965 --> 00:18:13,926 Yes. Can I go now? 488 00:18:16,303 --> 00:18:17,679 That was uncanny. 489 00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:19,681 Except I would have started with "Can I go now?" 490 00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:20,933 Right. 491 00:18:21,016 --> 00:18:22,559 What is that, your victim's ears? 492 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:25,145 LUCAS: Ah, there it is. 493 00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:26,980 You're from the Office of the Other President? 494 00:18:27,064 --> 00:18:30,234 TOTOPOTUS, yeah. You'd think I'd buy a nicer tie. 495 00:18:30,317 --> 00:18:32,194 I'm just, uh, accessing the ship's comms. 496 00:18:32,277 --> 00:18:33,987 -IRIS KIMURA: Uh, uh, no-- -LORI: Um... 497 00:18:34,071 --> 00:18:35,781 LUCAS: Yep. As I thought. 498 00:18:35,864 --> 00:18:39,743 Someone, I'm guessing you and Judd, turned off comms. 499 00:18:39,827 --> 00:18:41,161 You're not authorized to think that. 500 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:43,247 LUCAS: So those passengers, they don't know they're marooned 501 00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:47,459 in space for eight years. Well, this is a ball ache. 502 00:18:47,543 --> 00:18:50,879 I think you need to go, now, to hell. 503 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,130 On behalf of TOTOPOTUS, 504 00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:53,841 I'm commandeering your operation. 505 00:18:54,925 --> 00:18:56,176 The room is ours. 506 00:18:56,260 --> 00:18:57,594 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 507 00:18:57,678 --> 00:18:59,221 -(OFFICIALS CLAMORING) -LORI: Uh... 508 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:00,389 -Up, up, up. -LORI: No, no. 509 00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:03,392 LUCAS: Yeah, just, uh, harvest it. Take it all. 510 00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:06,687 Hey! Those are our wires! You don't deserve them! 511 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,355 Oh, no, they're mine now. 512 00:19:08,438 --> 00:19:10,148 And I'm reopening comms with Avenue 5. 513 00:19:10,232 --> 00:19:12,901 So you've got 30 minutes until showtime. (CLAPS) 514 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:16,697 And this is the bridge, I think. 515 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:19,366 I don't actually know. I've never been here before. 516 00:19:19,449 --> 00:19:21,410 Oh. What's the maximum speed of this craft? 517 00:19:21,493 --> 00:19:23,036 Good question. What a good question. 518 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:25,414 And one I wish I could answer, but I feel like it would be 519 00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:27,666 culturally insensitive to our captain, 520 00:19:27,749 --> 00:19:31,628 Captain Ryan, who is in charge of this ship and this voyage 521 00:19:31,712 --> 00:19:33,755 and any changes that happen to the voyage 522 00:19:33,839 --> 00:19:37,259 that cannot be known by us, or specifically by me. 523 00:19:37,342 --> 00:19:39,094 -Okay? You getting all that? -DEVON: I think so. 524 00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:40,637 -(DEVICE BUZZES) -What is that? What do-- 525 00:19:40,721 --> 00:19:42,055 How do I get rid of this? 526 00:19:42,139 --> 00:19:43,891 -Iris? -It's me. 527 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:45,934 Got some new tech to fix the delay. 528 00:19:46,018 --> 00:19:48,186 Predicts your speech by collating everything you ever said, 529 00:19:48,270 --> 00:19:49,646 then predicts what you're gonna say. 530 00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:53,650 Cool. Um, how much money do I have left? Please say lots. 531 00:19:53,734 --> 00:19:55,193 You have enough to eat. Be happy. 532 00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:56,403 AUTOMATED VOICE: Welcome back, Iris. 533 00:19:56,486 --> 00:19:58,113 Restoring smart-seat to your default settings. 534 00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:00,157 JUDD: Are you calling me from the toilet? 535 00:20:00,240 --> 00:20:01,867 When I do that, I'm a goddamn animal. 536 00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:04,953 The Office of the Other POTUS know we've been blocking the comms. 537 00:20:05,037 --> 00:20:05,913 JADEN: What? 538 00:20:05,996 --> 00:20:07,039 They're switching them back on. 539 00:20:07,122 --> 00:20:09,374 And I'm calling you from, not during. 540 00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:11,209 AUTOMATED VOICE: Your pH levels are normal. 541 00:20:11,293 --> 00:20:12,294 Oh, that's ironic, 542 00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,837 since you're kind of acidic as a person. 543 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:15,297 Wait. You've been blocking the comms? 544 00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:16,548 Ryan needs to tell everyone 545 00:20:16,632 --> 00:20:18,258 they're stuck up there for eight years. 546 00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:19,426 We're not almost home? 547 00:20:19,509 --> 00:20:21,470 Oh, shit, she's not supposed to know that. 548 00:20:21,553 --> 00:20:23,889 Oh, that's not me confirming the information, by the way. 549 00:20:23,972 --> 00:20:26,058 But they need to be told in a sensitive way. 550 00:20:26,141 --> 00:20:27,309 That's great. You mean like this? 551 00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:28,435 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 552 00:20:28,518 --> 00:20:29,811 Hey, Cap! When we're home, 553 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,272 I'm getting a tattoo of you on my glute. 554 00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:34,107 That is so humbling. 555 00:20:34,191 --> 00:20:36,610 Hey. Whoa, Captain, where's the fire? (CHUCKLES) 556 00:20:36,693 --> 00:20:39,613 Uh... Oh, Spike, can you give these guys 557 00:20:39,696 --> 00:20:41,698 a VIP tour of the bridge? Would that be okay? 558 00:20:41,782 --> 00:20:44,868 For sure. Come on. Let's go eat space! 559 00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:47,120 Are you delegating spending time with us? 560 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:49,247 -No. -Yeah. 561 00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:51,041 Spike is the best... 562 00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,293 that we have. 563 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,588 She said eight years. 564 00:20:56,672 --> 00:20:59,341 No, I think you misheard. I believe she said eight... 565 00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:01,301 Eight ears. She had eight ears. 566 00:21:01,385 --> 00:21:03,303 His English is not good English. 567 00:21:03,387 --> 00:21:04,930 DEVON: I heard what she said, and that wasn't it. 568 00:21:05,013 --> 00:21:07,265 MADS: She's a hologram. She's not a real person, by definition. 569 00:21:07,349 --> 00:21:09,935 -DEVON: Okay, but I definitely heard her say-- -JUDD: She's not a real person. 570 00:21:10,018 --> 00:21:11,728 You guys don't want to watch an argument about reality. 571 00:21:11,812 --> 00:21:13,897 -Let's check out something cooler. -Is there gonna be a fight? 572 00:21:13,981 --> 00:21:15,565 Well, if there is, we do not have tickets. 573 00:21:15,649 --> 00:21:18,318 Hey, kids, how about some hot chocolate with sprinkles? 574 00:21:18,402 --> 00:21:20,612 Hmm? Man, I wish we had some. 575 00:21:22,906 --> 00:21:25,367 Ryan, is it true? 576 00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:29,037 That nobody knows we're here for eight years? 577 00:21:29,121 --> 00:21:32,749 See, I-- I thought I was doing the passengers a service. 578 00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,209 They've had five months 579 00:21:34,292 --> 00:21:35,836 in a state of blissful ignorance. 580 00:21:35,919 --> 00:21:37,462 KAREN: How could you do that to me 581 00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:39,798 after all we've been through together? 582 00:21:39,881 --> 00:21:41,550 We haven't been through anything together. 583 00:21:41,633 --> 00:21:42,676 FRANK: Exactly. 584 00:21:45,095 --> 00:21:46,054 (SIGHS) 585 00:21:46,138 --> 00:21:49,307 You are a small, small man. 586 00:21:51,143 --> 00:21:53,437 And I am going to grate you... 587 00:21:54,646 --> 00:21:55,856 like a nutmeg. 588 00:21:55,939 --> 00:21:58,692 Honey, what are you-- (SCREAMS) No, no! (SCREAMS) 589 00:21:58,775 --> 00:22:00,402 -RAV: Um, do something. -Nah, um... 590 00:22:00,485 --> 00:22:01,653 FRANK: No! (SCREAMS) 591 00:22:01,737 --> 00:22:03,113 -RYAN: No, no. -RAV: Go on. You're a captain. 592 00:22:03,196 --> 00:22:05,615 If you can marry people, you can restrain them as well. 593 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:08,577 -(FRANK SCREAMS) -RYAN: That's-- None of that. No, Karen, Karen, Karen. 594 00:22:08,660 --> 00:22:09,995 -(KAREN GRUNTS) -Oh! 595 00:22:10,787 --> 00:22:12,205 -Foot! -KAREN: Eff your foot. 596 00:22:12,289 --> 00:22:14,374 Dig deep, sister. This is your time. 597 00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:16,835 -Whose side are you on? -MATT: The winner's. 598 00:22:16,918 --> 00:22:19,087 Always the winner's. 599 00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:21,798 Do we have any tranquilizers? She needs tranq-ing! 600 00:22:21,882 --> 00:22:23,925 Let this take place. This needs to happen. 601 00:22:24,009 --> 00:22:26,094 -(KAREN SCREAMS) -Karen, don't-- don't-- 602 00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:29,931 (SOBS) 603 00:22:30,015 --> 00:22:34,311 He trapped me, Ryan, like a hog in a pen. 604 00:22:34,394 --> 00:22:38,398 (SOBS) 605 00:22:38,482 --> 00:22:41,318 Is she crying or orgasming? 606 00:22:41,401 --> 00:22:42,486 (KAREN EXHALES) 607 00:22:43,320 --> 00:22:44,362 Is she asleep? 608 00:22:44,446 --> 00:22:45,697 Just stay focused because there may be 609 00:22:45,781 --> 00:22:47,491 an anaconda squeeze coming. 610 00:22:47,574 --> 00:22:49,576 Okay, kids, uh, listen, 611 00:22:49,659 --> 00:22:52,496 same rules as life drawing class. 612 00:22:52,579 --> 00:22:53,789 You look, don't touch. 613 00:22:53,872 --> 00:22:55,290 Well, I like what you've done with the place, 614 00:22:55,373 --> 00:22:57,542 which seems to be to cover it in dirt. (LAUGHS) 615 00:22:57,626 --> 00:22:59,669 Yeah, we're going for a subtle layered look. 616 00:22:59,753 --> 00:23:01,171 Uh, guys? Spike? 617 00:23:01,254 --> 00:23:03,048 I didn't know we were running a daycare. 618 00:23:03,131 --> 00:23:04,716 No, actually, the captain organized us 619 00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:05,967 a little tour, so... 620 00:23:06,051 --> 00:23:08,637 Oh, that's-- They're playing with all the buttons. Nope. 621 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:10,514 No, no, no. (CHUCKLES) No. 622 00:23:13,558 --> 00:23:14,643 (LAUGHS) 623 00:23:15,394 --> 00:23:16,645 She's locked it. (CHUCKLES) 624 00:23:16,728 --> 00:23:18,563 -Oh, like when you locked Daddy's car, remember? -Right. 625 00:23:18,647 --> 00:23:20,899 And she's-- What? She-- she's-- 626 00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:22,901 -She switched our course. -JAZ: She's what? 627 00:23:22,984 --> 00:23:24,236 She switched our course. 628 00:23:24,319 --> 00:23:25,278 -JAZ: Where to? -BILLIE: She's-- 629 00:23:25,362 --> 00:23:26,446 Still Earth. Please say still Earth. 630 00:23:26,530 --> 00:23:28,115 -(ALARM PINGING) -SPIKE: Is it "bad" bad? 631 00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:29,866 No, Spike, it is much, much worse. 632 00:23:29,950 --> 00:23:33,120 Okay, I think we're gonna go, so let's say thank you. 633 00:23:33,203 --> 00:23:35,455 -BOTH: Thanks. -Thank you. Gracias. 634 00:23:35,539 --> 00:23:37,082 Thanks, kids! See you in hell! 635 00:23:37,165 --> 00:23:38,875 This is exactly why I don't want children! 636 00:23:38,959 --> 00:23:40,418 Can we use, uh, the old fuel-burn... 637 00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:41,837 -Uh... -...get back in the old course? 638 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,464 Uh, well, we've got-- That's six fuel burns left. 639 00:23:44,548 --> 00:23:45,841 So, we use one to get back... 640 00:23:45,924 --> 00:23:48,844 No, we'll be 400 years old by the time we get home. 641 00:23:48,927 --> 00:23:50,804 We're just gonna have to go with the new course. 642 00:23:51,721 --> 00:23:54,432 (PASSENGERS MUTTERING) 643 00:23:54,516 --> 00:23:56,226 PASSENGER: There he is. Ryan! Hey! 644 00:23:56,309 --> 00:23:59,980 ALL: (CHANTING) Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! Ryan! 645 00:24:00,063 --> 00:24:02,023 -Four more weeks! -Okay, okay. 646 00:24:02,107 --> 00:24:04,067 -ALL: Four more weeks! -All right, all right. 647 00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:05,652 All right, look. Ladies and gentlemen, 648 00:24:05,735 --> 00:24:08,655 -I do have an announcement. -(CHANTING STOPS) 649 00:24:08,738 --> 00:24:12,659 Uh, it appears that we may not be returning 650 00:24:12,742 --> 00:24:16,580 to Earth for a considerable number of months. 651 00:24:16,663 --> 00:24:19,332 -(ALL MUTTERING) -Oh! See? You see? 652 00:24:19,416 --> 00:24:21,376 How long have you known that, you bag of shit? 653 00:24:21,459 --> 00:24:22,586 (ALL CLAMORING) 654 00:24:22,669 --> 00:24:23,920 BILLIE: We're heading towards the Sun! 655 00:24:24,004 --> 00:24:25,881 (PANTING) We're headed towards the Sun. 656 00:24:25,964 --> 00:24:27,382 -What? -That's the spirit! 657 00:24:27,465 --> 00:24:29,217 Whoo! We're heading for the Sun! 658 00:24:29,301 --> 00:24:30,385 Walking on sunshine, baby! 659 00:24:30,468 --> 00:24:32,512 No, no, no. It's not a-- a euphemism. 660 00:24:32,596 --> 00:24:35,348 We are actually heading towards the actual Sun. 661 00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:36,600 -(ALL GASP) -Oh, fuck. 662 00:24:36,683 --> 00:24:38,476 What do you mean, the-- You mean the Sun? 663 00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:40,228 -Yes, the-- -The hot one? The one in the sky? 664 00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:41,396 -That one? -Yes, that one. Yes. 665 00:24:41,479 --> 00:24:42,564 BAILEY: We're heading for the Sun! 666 00:24:42,647 --> 00:24:44,065 -(PASSENGERS CLAMORING) -Look, can we just-- 667 00:24:44,149 --> 00:24:46,318 Can we just park the Sun news momentarily? 668 00:24:46,401 --> 00:24:47,777 I realize that's a big ask, but-- 669 00:24:47,861 --> 00:24:51,198 What else have you been keeping from us, you preppy cocksucker? 670 00:24:51,281 --> 00:24:52,532 JOHN: You drove us into the Sun! 671 00:24:52,616 --> 00:24:54,492 -That was not me! -How could you miss it? 672 00:24:54,576 --> 00:24:56,411 Spike! 'Cause Spike was at the wheel. 673 00:24:56,494 --> 00:24:59,206 -I'm no snitch, but, uh... -It was my sister's fault! 674 00:24:59,289 --> 00:25:00,457 -(PASSENGERS SHOUTING) -Raf, cállate! 675 00:25:00,540 --> 00:25:02,000 PASSENGER: Your kids are gonna kill us! 676 00:25:02,083 --> 00:25:04,836 Get that stunted shit out of the ship! 677 00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,588 (PASSENGERS CLAMORING) 678 00:25:06,671 --> 00:25:07,589 Lock her up! 679 00:25:07,672 --> 00:25:09,007 -(SIGHS) -(INDISTINCT CLAMOR OVER TV) 680 00:25:09,090 --> 00:25:12,052 I always knew I'd be killed by a child. 681 00:25:12,135 --> 00:25:14,846 Look, look, whatever-- whatever happens, 682 00:25:14,930 --> 00:25:18,266 I promise you everything will be okay. 683 00:25:18,350 --> 00:25:19,935 -(ALARM BLARES) -AUTOMATED VOICE: Warning. 684 00:25:20,018 --> 00:25:24,356 -Warning. Warning. Warning. -(CROWD MUTTERING) 685 00:25:24,439 --> 00:25:27,567 Oh, shit. We should probably, um... 686 00:25:27,651 --> 00:25:28,944 -Take a cold shower? -No. 687 00:25:29,027 --> 00:25:30,111 -No? -No. Run. 688 00:25:30,195 --> 00:25:33,240 Uh, there's a real language barrier here. 689 00:25:33,323 --> 00:25:35,408 I promise you, I-- your safety, 690 00:25:35,492 --> 00:25:38,370 the safety of your kids, is my number one priority. 691 00:25:38,453 --> 00:25:40,914 Oh, you're our hero. 692 00:25:40,997 --> 00:25:42,290 -Who are you? -I'm Charles. 693 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:43,416 I'm just her husband. 694 00:25:43,500 --> 00:25:45,961 And I-- I hope I'm your top priority as well. 695 00:25:46,044 --> 00:25:48,255 You-- you said he jumped ship. 696 00:25:48,338 --> 00:25:49,464 I mean, not literally. 697 00:25:49,548 --> 00:25:52,342 I-- I'm sorry. I should've-- I should have told you. 698 00:25:52,425 --> 00:25:54,761 Wow. You are both so spineless. 699 00:25:54,844 --> 00:25:56,346 The sex must be amazing. 700 00:25:56,429 --> 00:25:57,472 Come on, kids. 701 00:25:57,555 --> 00:26:00,517 So, um, we are gonna have a conversation. Yes? 702 00:26:00,600 --> 00:26:01,893 -RYAN: Huh? -Yes. 703 00:26:04,604 --> 00:26:07,524 Well, I am glad that you finally know about Charles 704 00:26:07,607 --> 00:26:09,901 because... (LAUGHS) ...really, that was killing us. 705 00:26:11,194 --> 00:26:13,530 What do you mean "us"? What us? 706 00:26:14,489 --> 00:26:17,075 -(INDISTINCT CLAMORING) -(ALARM BLARING) 707 00:26:17,158 --> 00:26:18,326 Why didn't you tell me? 708 00:26:18,410 --> 00:26:21,454 Oh, please, pot-calling-kettle-fuck. 709 00:26:21,538 --> 00:26:22,622 You didn't tell the passengers 710 00:26:22,706 --> 00:26:23,957 that we're up here for eight years. 711 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:25,792 I was doing it! What did you think I was doing? 712 00:26:25,875 --> 00:26:27,127 Yeah, but you didn't quite manage it, 713 00:26:27,210 --> 00:26:28,837 -did you? We all have secrets. -I was doing it 714 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:30,839 when you came running in with this whole Sun thing. 715 00:26:30,922 --> 00:26:33,633 IRIS: Hello, Avenue 5! This is mission control. 716 00:26:33,717 --> 00:26:36,052 Comms are back up. Is everything okay? 717 00:26:36,136 --> 00:26:39,306 -(ALARM BLARING) -Yeah. Everything's fine. 718 00:26:39,389 --> 00:26:41,433 Just one small issue. 719 00:26:41,516 --> 00:26:45,478 Okay. Everyone here has your best interests at heart. 720 00:26:45,562 --> 00:26:49,899 Mission control. Families. The list is endless. 721 00:26:51,568 --> 00:26:52,777 LUCAS: All right. That's enough. 722 00:26:54,529 --> 00:26:58,992 Did he say "small issue"? What small issue? 723 00:26:59,075 --> 00:27:01,077 Well, I guess it's space-related. 724 00:27:01,161 --> 00:27:03,496 Okay, you two, can we lose Hansel and Gretel? 725 00:27:03,580 --> 00:27:05,040 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 726 00:27:05,123 --> 00:27:06,249 LORI: Tut, tut, tut. 727 00:27:06,333 --> 00:27:07,667 (SIGHS) 728 00:27:09,294 --> 00:27:10,337 You can stay. 729 00:27:12,380 --> 00:27:14,215 AUTOMATED VOICE: A dangerous situation 730 00:27:14,299 --> 00:27:16,051 is being taken under control. 731 00:27:16,134 --> 00:27:19,971 Warning. Do not panic. Stay calm. 732 00:27:20,055 --> 00:27:23,767 A dangerous situation is being taken under control. 733 00:27:24,476 --> 00:27:27,228 Warning. Warning. 734 00:27:27,312 --> 00:27:30,815 Stay calm. A dangerous situation is being... 735 00:27:32,400 --> 00:27:36,780 ♪ (ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 736 00:28:01,638 --> 00:28:05,266 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 737 00:28:25,328 --> 00:28:28,581 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪