1 00:00:06,052 --> 00:00:08,263 Iris, trajectory. And make it good news. 2 00:00:08,346 --> 00:00:09,389 Liquid fuel reserves 3 00:00:09,472 --> 00:00:10,974 are insufficient to correct our course-- 4 00:00:11,057 --> 00:00:12,600 Then we'll think of something else, Iris. 5 00:00:12,684 --> 00:00:13,727 Something scientific. 6 00:00:14,728 --> 00:00:16,396 TV RYAN CLARK: How can so much light... 7 00:00:16,479 --> 00:00:18,523 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 8 00:00:18,606 --> 00:00:19,607 ...feel so dark? 9 00:00:19,691 --> 00:00:21,860 The sun gave our ancestors life. 10 00:00:23,194 --> 00:00:25,905 The fuck we gonna let it bring us death. 11 00:00:25,989 --> 00:00:27,615 -I agree. -♪ (MUSIC STOP ABRUPTLY) ♪ 12 00:00:27,699 --> 00:00:28,950 -HERMAN JUDD: You see that? -MADS: Yeah. 13 00:00:29,033 --> 00:00:32,412 It's my TV show, and I'm barely even in it. Look. 14 00:00:32,495 --> 00:00:33,580 I agree. 15 00:00:33,997 --> 00:00:34,998 I concur. 16 00:00:35,081 --> 00:00:36,124 I think so too. 17 00:00:36,207 --> 00:00:39,502 -Embrace the fear, always. -I absolutely agree. 18 00:00:39,586 --> 00:00:41,129 HERMAN: Why does he agree with everything 19 00:00:41,212 --> 00:00:42,672 -that's said to him. -You hate agreeing. 20 00:00:42,756 --> 00:00:46,134 Exactly! I-- You know what, I don't understand this. 21 00:00:46,217 --> 00:00:48,011 Why doesn't Iris go up to them 22 00:00:48,094 --> 00:00:49,846 and tell them about all the cool shit I do? 23 00:00:49,929 --> 00:00:50,972 Not to be unkind, 24 00:00:51,055 --> 00:00:53,266 but you don't actually do that much cool shit. 25 00:00:53,349 --> 00:00:54,476 What are you talking about? 26 00:00:54,559 --> 00:00:56,352 The whole time I've known you, you've done, like, 27 00:00:56,436 --> 00:00:59,314 -maybe one piece of cool shit. -Which? Uh, you mean, uh... 28 00:00:59,397 --> 00:01:01,566 -The time you crushed the soda can. -...crushing the soda can? 29 00:01:01,649 --> 00:01:03,359 Oh, man, that was so badass. 30 00:01:03,443 --> 00:01:04,736 You need to get crushing. 31 00:01:06,196 --> 00:01:08,448 -(DEVICE CHIMES) -I agree. 32 00:01:08,531 --> 00:01:11,785 ♪ ("AVENUE 5" THEME MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 33 00:01:16,873 --> 00:01:18,500 ♪ (THEME MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 34 00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:21,336 Oh, my Go-- Fifty-seven more eels dead 35 00:01:21,419 --> 00:01:22,629 -overnight. -RYAN CLARK: Ugh. 36 00:01:22,712 --> 00:01:24,214 MATT SPENCER: God, all that unfulfilled potential. 37 00:01:24,297 --> 00:01:25,882 You think about what they could've been. 38 00:01:25,965 --> 00:01:28,092 Food, Matt. They could have been food. 39 00:01:29,010 --> 00:01:31,513 MATT: Hey, there's a dot on the horizon. 40 00:01:32,388 --> 00:01:34,098 I mean, we just avoided one sun. 41 00:01:34,182 --> 00:01:35,475 Are we going for best out of three? 42 00:01:35,558 --> 00:01:37,185 Matt, will you shut your doom hole? 43 00:01:37,268 --> 00:01:38,645 We're trying to suppress those mem-- 44 00:01:38,728 --> 00:01:41,940 There's a dot. Is that a good dot or a bad dot? 45 00:01:42,023 --> 00:01:43,691 I bring news. We have a dot. 46 00:01:43,775 --> 00:01:45,443 We know. Is it good? Is it a good dot? 47 00:01:45,527 --> 00:01:47,320 Most likely a military space station. 48 00:01:47,403 --> 00:01:49,322 -It's conga time, folks! -Ooh-ho! 49 00:01:49,405 --> 00:01:51,825 Oh, my gosh! Intelligent crew members. 50 00:01:51,908 --> 00:01:53,535 They could help us fix the eel tank. 51 00:01:53,618 --> 00:01:54,994 (CHUCKLES) I mean, the guys, I work with, 52 00:01:55,078 --> 00:01:57,664 it's like someone drew eyes on a sock. 53 00:01:57,747 --> 00:02:00,875 -No... No offence. -And new friends! (CHUCKLES) 54 00:02:00,959 --> 00:02:02,836 -Did I say that out loud? -BILLIE MCEVOY: Yeah. 55 00:02:02,919 --> 00:02:06,840 -Herman Judd on deck! -Here to crush shit up. 56 00:02:06,923 --> 00:02:10,218 Not now, Judd. We have got an actual space station. 57 00:02:10,301 --> 00:02:12,679 This is-- This is hope, right here. 58 00:02:12,762 --> 00:02:14,556 -Uh... -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 59 00:02:14,639 --> 00:02:17,976 Bridge crew, set a course for that space station. 60 00:02:18,059 --> 00:02:19,561 Never mind the speed limit. 61 00:02:19,644 --> 00:02:21,437 You heard the boss. Let's make human contact. 62 00:02:21,521 --> 00:02:23,606 -New people, people. -I agree! 63 00:02:24,566 --> 00:02:25,733 Oh, I actually do this time. 64 00:02:25,817 --> 00:02:27,360 RYAN: Which one is it? It's that one? 65 00:02:27,443 --> 00:02:29,070 -Right there. -(BUTTON BEEPS) 66 00:02:29,154 --> 00:02:30,655 (IN AMERICAN ACCENT) Stormfalcon. 67 00:02:30,738 --> 00:02:33,741 This is Captain Ryan Clark of Avenue 5. 68 00:02:33,825 --> 00:02:37,871 Our eel tanks are fucked. Can you help us? Over. 69 00:02:37,954 --> 00:02:40,373 JOHANNA: (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) This is Johanna from the Stormfalcon. 70 00:02:40,456 --> 00:02:41,666 What seems to be the problem? 71 00:02:41,749 --> 00:02:43,376 Okay, tell her that the nanofilters are on the fritz, 72 00:02:43,459 --> 00:02:45,879 -that the tension stat's blown-- -Ask if they have any shoe deodorizer. 73 00:02:45,962 --> 00:02:47,547 Will you shut the fuck up? Both of you. 74 00:02:48,548 --> 00:02:49,966 (INTERCOM BEEPS) 75 00:02:50,049 --> 00:02:52,135 (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) Johanna, how lovely to hear an English voice. 76 00:02:52,218 --> 00:02:54,262 Uh, listen, I wonder if we can do this face to face. 77 00:02:54,345 --> 00:02:57,015 I could come over with some improvised icebreakers, 78 00:02:57,098 --> 00:02:58,808 maybe a tray of home-baked protein. 79 00:02:58,892 --> 00:02:59,976 (INTERCOM BEEPS) 80 00:03:04,522 --> 00:03:06,900 (RADIO STATIC) 81 00:03:09,777 --> 00:03:11,654 JOHANNA: Copy that. Ready and waiting. 82 00:03:11,738 --> 00:03:14,532 -What's her problem? -Now, we need a delegation 83 00:03:14,616 --> 00:03:17,076 with the requisite social skills. 84 00:03:17,160 --> 00:03:18,202 I could go. 85 00:03:18,286 --> 00:03:20,121 I'm a virtuostic conversationalist. Self-taught. 86 00:03:20,204 --> 00:03:23,041 -Billie, Matt, Spike. Let's go. -Yeah, keep the number small. 87 00:03:23,124 --> 00:03:25,251 Smart. Okay. Away, team! 88 00:03:25,335 --> 00:03:31,716 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 89 00:03:32,216 --> 00:03:33,217 (AIR HISSES) 90 00:03:33,301 --> 00:03:34,427 SPIKE MARTIN: Stay frosty. 91 00:03:34,510 --> 00:03:37,889 Space marines, tough as fuck and twice as big. 92 00:03:40,975 --> 00:03:44,103 Hello! Welcome to the Stormfalcon. 93 00:03:44,187 --> 00:03:46,230 -Lovely to see you. -Hi. 94 00:03:47,231 --> 00:03:49,859 Uh, on behalf of the people of Avenue 5, 95 00:03:49,943 --> 00:03:51,069 we brought flapjack. 96 00:03:51,152 --> 00:03:54,572 Wow, thanks. We love anything cooked in a rectangle. 97 00:03:54,656 --> 00:03:56,157 A bit too much, some of us. 98 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:58,117 -(CHUCKLES) -JOHANNA: Come on through. 99 00:03:58,201 --> 00:04:00,078 So, you've gotta ask for the chief engineer 100 00:04:00,161 --> 00:04:02,872 -as soon as possible, so that we can get straight-- -Billie! Billie! Yes, let's-- 101 00:04:02,956 --> 00:04:04,374 Let's do the human stuff first. 102 00:04:04,457 --> 00:04:06,626 JOHANNA: Uh, this is our main lounge area. 103 00:04:06,709 --> 00:04:08,544 It gets a bit wild when the jigsaws are out. 104 00:04:08,628 --> 00:04:12,173 Well, this is, uh, surprising for a, uh, military facility. 105 00:04:12,256 --> 00:04:14,509 Oh no, actually, we're a science unit. 106 00:04:14,592 --> 00:04:17,095 Military? (CHUCKLES) I wouldn't fancy my chances 107 00:04:17,178 --> 00:04:18,763 of passing the physical. (CHUCKLES) 108 00:04:18,846 --> 00:04:21,182 MATT: God, it's so civilized here. 109 00:04:21,265 --> 00:04:22,600 Avenue 5 is a cultural void. 110 00:04:22,684 --> 00:04:24,435 We have a problem with toddler combat. 111 00:04:24,519 --> 00:04:26,354 That is a bit of an exaggeration. 112 00:04:26,437 --> 00:04:28,022 -Toddler combat? -MATT: Yeah, 113 00:04:28,106 --> 00:04:30,525 kids so starved of stimuli that they've started 114 00:04:30,608 --> 00:04:33,069 kind of a cage fighting thing in the soft play area. 115 00:04:33,152 --> 00:04:35,321 It doesn't sound great when you put it like that. 116 00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:37,323 But there's a lot of adult supervision. 117 00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:39,867 Sometimes crowds of up to 50, 60 people. 118 00:04:39,951 --> 00:04:41,160 I'm gonna come clean. 119 00:04:41,244 --> 00:04:44,914 We are just such huge fans of the show about you. 120 00:04:44,998 --> 00:04:47,250 -Huh? -Oh, tha-- the-- yes, yes. 121 00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:51,254 "How can so much light feel so dark?" 122 00:04:51,337 --> 00:04:52,839 -Is that one of the... the-- -Yes. 123 00:04:52,922 --> 00:04:54,924 You-- you know, um, one of my favorite lines 124 00:04:55,008 --> 00:04:58,886 that he does is, "Can you help fix the eel tank?" 125 00:04:58,970 --> 00:05:01,305 Sorry, which one are you in the... in the show? 126 00:05:01,389 --> 00:05:05,560 Oh, Billie. Uh, Billie McEvoy. Chief science officer. 127 00:05:05,643 --> 00:05:07,061 RYAN: Really, is that what you are? 128 00:05:07,145 --> 00:05:08,396 -Yes. -JOHANNA: Are you sure? 129 00:05:08,479 --> 00:05:10,606 Because on the show, she has a much more pleasant energy. 130 00:05:10,690 --> 00:05:12,900 -(PEDESTAL SQUEAKS) -JOHANNA: Yeah, that's her. 131 00:05:12,984 --> 00:05:14,986 That's-- that's her, and I think... 132 00:05:15,069 --> 00:05:16,362 Yeah, there she is, too. 133 00:05:16,446 --> 00:05:20,491 (CHUCKLES) No, she can't even spell "science." Or "eels." 134 00:05:20,575 --> 00:05:23,870 Oh, eels. I think we can help you with that. 135 00:05:23,953 --> 00:05:26,372 Uh, this is Lyle, our resident physicist, 136 00:05:26,456 --> 00:05:28,875 freethinker, and all-around nonconformist. 137 00:05:28,958 --> 00:05:31,919 I find traditional methods of thought too rigid. Sue me! 138 00:05:32,003 --> 00:05:34,964 Captain, would you care to stay for supper? 139 00:05:35,048 --> 00:05:36,924 -Bring some plus ones. -Oh, we really can't 140 00:05:37,008 --> 00:05:38,426 because the eels are actually in cris-- 141 00:05:38,509 --> 00:05:39,927 Billie, human. 142 00:05:40,011 --> 00:05:42,513 You know, that would be absolutely delightful. 143 00:05:42,597 --> 00:05:43,598 Well, I could whip up some 144 00:05:43,681 --> 00:05:45,767 calcium phosphate noodles in the emulsifier. 145 00:05:45,850 --> 00:05:48,102 You should meet Frank. Frank is our you. 146 00:05:48,186 --> 00:05:50,271 Sad eyes. Phenomenal omelets. 147 00:05:50,354 --> 00:05:52,482 Captain, let me show you some long chain fatty acids 148 00:05:52,565 --> 00:05:53,858 we were looking at the other day. 149 00:05:53,941 --> 00:05:55,610 And obviously you checked the solenoid valve, 150 00:05:55,693 --> 00:05:56,611 they clog up faster 151 00:05:56,694 --> 00:05:58,071 -than a gas station toilet. -Yes! 152 00:05:58,154 --> 00:06:02,325 You really do know your stuff. I mean, God! I miss competence. 153 00:06:02,408 --> 00:06:04,786 Um, I'm a bit of a maverick myself. 154 00:06:04,869 --> 00:06:06,871 (CHUCKLES) Check the old neck warmer. 155 00:06:06,954 --> 00:06:09,999 (CHUCKLES) Friend, that's not a ponytail. 156 00:06:10,083 --> 00:06:12,460 This is a ponytail. 157 00:06:12,543 --> 00:06:14,670 Wow. Spike Martin. 158 00:06:14,754 --> 00:06:18,049 Fifth Canadian on Mars? Never heard of him. (CHUCKLES) 159 00:06:18,132 --> 00:06:20,468 Yeah, yeah, that's me. 160 00:06:20,551 --> 00:06:22,345 LUCAS SATO: Come on, give me something else, 161 00:06:22,428 --> 00:06:23,679 something better. 162 00:06:23,763 --> 00:06:25,765 Look, I've been riding this lithium thing for you, bareback. 163 00:06:25,848 --> 00:06:28,142 -I should be on that list! -Which list? 164 00:06:28,226 --> 00:06:31,145 Time magazine's "50 Most Tragic Middle Managers"? 165 00:06:31,229 --> 00:06:33,147 Yes to the coffee, no to you. 166 00:06:33,231 --> 00:06:34,899 IRIS KIMURA: Look, we've got one last supply shuttle 167 00:06:34,982 --> 00:06:37,151 -before they're out of range-- -Why are you still here? 168 00:06:37,235 --> 00:06:38,277 I'm busy. 169 00:06:38,361 --> 00:06:39,946 Right, these windows aren't gonna lick themselves. 170 00:06:40,029 --> 00:06:41,531 What's wrong? 171 00:06:41,614 --> 00:06:45,868 I can smell fear, and... is it burritos? 172 00:06:46,744 --> 00:06:49,372 -What are you hiding? -All right. 173 00:06:49,455 --> 00:06:50,748 You want in on a little Armageddon. 174 00:06:50,832 --> 00:06:52,959 -(DOOR SLAMS) -LUCAS: Fine. 175 00:06:53,042 --> 00:06:56,420 Earth is running out of lithium. Now you know. 176 00:06:56,504 --> 00:06:57,880 So there'll be no supply shuttle, 177 00:06:57,964 --> 00:06:59,173 there'll be no nothing. 178 00:06:59,257 --> 00:07:01,551 Wait, I saw documentaries about lithium shortages, 179 00:07:01,634 --> 00:07:03,094 but I thought they were just documentaries. 180 00:07:03,177 --> 00:07:05,513 Without lithium, you can say goodbye to banks 181 00:07:05,596 --> 00:07:07,348 and telecoms and computers, and you can say hello 182 00:07:07,431 --> 00:07:08,850 to wearing untreated animal skins 183 00:07:08,933 --> 00:07:10,601 and wiping your ass with leaves. 184 00:07:10,685 --> 00:07:13,855 I am not saying hello to that. Or shaking your hand. 185 00:07:13,938 --> 00:07:15,857 Fuck it, maybe I'll get on that last shuttle. 186 00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:18,317 Who can blame you? This must be exhausting for you. 187 00:07:19,110 --> 00:07:20,653 -(GROANS) -IRIS: See! 188 00:07:20,736 --> 00:07:22,697 Maybe, you just need to... (GRUNTS) ...rest. 189 00:07:22,780 --> 00:07:25,241 Ass to the left. (EXHALES DEEPLY) 190 00:07:25,324 --> 00:07:28,077 All right, I'm platituded out. And I drugged your coffee. 191 00:07:28,911 --> 00:07:30,663 -Is it? -Hmm. 192 00:07:30,746 --> 00:07:32,748 -Yeah. -(INHALES SHARPLY) 193 00:07:32,832 --> 00:07:35,626 And... there he goes. 194 00:07:35,710 --> 00:07:40,256 Leaving on shuttle, immediately. Standard meal, non-insectoid. 195 00:07:40,339 --> 00:07:43,176 RYAN: Meet some of our finest and most available. 196 00:07:43,259 --> 00:07:44,969 This is, uh, this is Frank. 197 00:07:45,052 --> 00:07:46,554 -JOHANNA: Hello. -Frank has a cookery show 198 00:07:46,637 --> 00:07:47,722 on our ship, called-- 199 00:07:47,805 --> 00:07:49,724 what's it called, Frank? Leave It Alone, is it? 200 00:07:49,807 --> 00:07:51,058 -Let It Settle. -RYAN: Let It Settle. 201 00:07:51,142 --> 00:07:52,435 Live from the Frank Tank. 202 00:07:52,518 --> 00:07:54,145 -(CHUCKLES) -What-- what kind of cuisine? 203 00:07:54,228 --> 00:07:55,813 Tell us about the cuisine, Frank. 204 00:07:55,897 --> 00:07:57,648 Uh, it's high flavor, low voltage. 205 00:07:57,732 --> 00:08:00,860 I use only hotel cabin appliances, 206 00:08:00,943 --> 00:08:01,861 and love. 207 00:08:01,944 --> 00:08:03,446 Oh, that's what you do with your love. 208 00:08:03,529 --> 00:08:05,615 Okay, um, we just lost another eel. 209 00:08:05,698 --> 00:08:10,119 -Eel Patrick Harris is dead. -Oh, no. He was great. 210 00:08:10,203 --> 00:08:12,288 -I love your earrings. -Great earrings. 211 00:08:12,371 --> 00:08:14,332 Frank is the genius. I'm barely here. 212 00:08:14,415 --> 00:08:17,043 It's just Frank Kelly and His Invisible Wife. 213 00:08:17,126 --> 00:08:19,003 (CHUCKLES) So you can move on. 214 00:08:19,086 --> 00:08:20,671 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 215 00:08:20,755 --> 00:08:24,258 Unbelievable. The attitude on that bitch. 216 00:08:24,342 --> 00:08:25,593 Attitude. 217 00:08:25,676 --> 00:08:26,719 Okay, I'm panicking. 218 00:08:26,802 --> 00:08:28,095 I know I said I wanted to meet new people, 219 00:08:28,179 --> 00:08:29,430 but I'm really not very good at this. 220 00:08:29,513 --> 00:08:30,431 Okay, deep breaths. 221 00:08:30,514 --> 00:08:32,350 -Easy, tiger. -This is Rav. 222 00:08:32,433 --> 00:08:35,102 -JOHANNA: Good to meet you. -Hello to you. 223 00:08:35,186 --> 00:08:38,189 Oh, I like your hands. Um... Left and right, classic. 224 00:08:38,773 --> 00:08:41,609 Yes. Yes, thank you. 225 00:08:41,692 --> 00:08:43,402 Rav, for fuck's sake, get your chap sorted. 226 00:08:43,486 --> 00:08:44,403 Sorry. Sorry. 227 00:08:44,487 --> 00:08:46,239 How would you rate Judd on the TV show? 228 00:08:46,322 --> 00:08:49,033 Judd. The owner of the ship. Herman Judd. "I agree." 229 00:08:49,116 --> 00:08:50,451 Oh, the agreement guy. 230 00:08:50,534 --> 00:08:52,161 He doesn't really add very much. 231 00:08:52,245 --> 00:08:56,374 Hmm. Yeah. And you do? Hmm. If anything, you subtract. 232 00:08:56,457 --> 00:08:58,000 You know, I get into a bit of a pickle 233 00:08:58,084 --> 00:08:59,418 and then I feel hyper self-conscious 234 00:08:59,502 --> 00:09:01,796 -about everything that I say. -Rav, the key to small talk 235 00:09:01,879 --> 00:09:04,799 is pretending that you have no sexuality and no aggression. 236 00:09:04,882 --> 00:09:06,634 Okay? Ready? Oh, here we go. 237 00:09:06,717 --> 00:09:07,927 -RAV MULCAIR: Hi. -Hi, hi. 238 00:09:08,010 --> 00:09:09,053 Can we say that anymore? 239 00:09:09,136 --> 00:09:10,805 God knows what we can say these days, right? 240 00:09:10,888 --> 00:09:11,847 What do you want? 241 00:09:11,931 --> 00:09:13,140 (PLATES CLAPPING) 242 00:09:13,224 --> 00:09:17,645 Okay, people. If you could all please take off your shoes 243 00:09:17,728 --> 00:09:21,107 and take one of the pairs of moccasins provided. 244 00:09:21,190 --> 00:09:22,650 Would it be okay if I keep mine on? 245 00:09:22,733 --> 00:09:23,943 I've got a bit of a cavus foot. 246 00:09:24,026 --> 00:09:25,569 So I need these orthotic inserts. 247 00:09:25,653 --> 00:09:27,446 Right, yeah, he needs a rigid sole 248 00:09:27,530 --> 00:09:29,031 to support his high arches. 249 00:09:29,115 --> 00:09:31,325 -Right, Captain? -Yes. That's... That's right. 250 00:09:31,409 --> 00:09:34,412 Uh, but if you have a clog or Japanese water sandals? 251 00:09:34,495 --> 00:09:36,497 Soft-soled shoes are the best practice. 252 00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:38,958 (SHUSHES) Paula. (CLEARS THROAT) 253 00:09:39,041 --> 00:09:41,919 You will be fine in your socks, Captain. 254 00:09:42,003 --> 00:09:44,630 Everyone else! If you wouldn't mind. 255 00:09:45,172 --> 00:09:46,382 JUDD: Good call. 256 00:09:47,675 --> 00:09:49,302 -♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(INDISTINCT CHATTER) 257 00:09:49,385 --> 00:09:52,930 Oh, and that "collision course for the sun" episode, 258 00:09:53,014 --> 00:09:55,266 it was so dramatic, I clenched so hard, 259 00:09:55,349 --> 00:09:57,727 -I shattered a rear molar. -Did you? Really? Well... 260 00:09:57,810 --> 00:09:59,979 You know, I actually didn't see that episode 261 00:10:00,062 --> 00:10:04,025 because I was too busy watching our eels suffocate to death. 262 00:10:04,108 --> 00:10:06,027 -Okay, okay. -Yeah, dumpling, 263 00:10:06,110 --> 00:10:08,279 we really should do something about the eels. 264 00:10:08,362 --> 00:10:09,322 -Dumpling? -Honey, 265 00:10:09,405 --> 00:10:10,865 do we need to talk about this "Ryan" thing? 266 00:10:10,948 --> 00:10:12,033 -(BILLIE MUTTERING) -I know, I know. 267 00:10:12,116 --> 00:10:14,035 Oh, sure. And let's tell our new friends 268 00:10:14,118 --> 00:10:16,370 that you kept me locked in a cabin for six months. 269 00:10:16,454 --> 00:10:18,789 Okay, now that you mention it, yes, there's big tension 270 00:10:18,873 --> 00:10:20,541 -between you and Ryan. -Thank you. 271 00:10:20,625 --> 00:10:24,253 -No, our eels are fucking dying! -All right, all right. Johanna-- 272 00:10:24,337 --> 00:10:26,672 You know what I miss most of all? 273 00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,549 -My dogs. -Dogs? 274 00:10:28,632 --> 00:10:30,426 (CHUCKLING) I love dogs, you have dogs? 275 00:10:30,509 --> 00:10:32,094 -(CHUCKLES) I have beagles. -No! 276 00:10:32,178 --> 00:10:33,429 And I have photos. 277 00:10:33,512 --> 00:10:36,140 (CHUCKLES) She has beagles, let me see. 278 00:10:36,223 --> 00:10:38,392 Ooh. (CHUCKLES) You're not gonna see that one. 279 00:10:39,185 --> 00:10:40,686 (GASPS) 280 00:10:40,770 --> 00:10:43,314 (CHUCKLES) Oh, my God, look at his little nose. 281 00:10:43,397 --> 00:10:46,692 Oh, my God. I bet it tastes like cake. (CHUCKLES) 282 00:10:46,776 --> 00:10:48,402 -He looks like a right laugh. -(CHUCKLES) 283 00:10:48,486 --> 00:10:51,030 I want to own my own kennel, like, one day. 284 00:10:51,113 --> 00:10:52,782 Just have a buttload of dogs. 285 00:10:52,865 --> 00:10:54,241 So many dogs that the local kids go, 286 00:10:54,325 --> 00:10:57,745 "Oh, look, there's that stinky old dog lady! Get her!" 287 00:10:57,828 --> 00:10:59,622 (LAUGHS) I'd love that. 288 00:10:59,705 --> 00:11:01,248 How did I get dumped at the Judas end 289 00:11:01,332 --> 00:11:02,541 of The Last Supper, huh? 290 00:11:03,709 --> 00:11:08,297 Uh, hey, Ryan. Hey, Ryan. Hey, Ryan. Hey! 291 00:11:10,341 --> 00:11:12,426 So, what are you guys talking about down there? 292 00:11:12,510 --> 00:11:14,053 RYAN: We're talking about dogs. 293 00:11:14,136 --> 00:11:15,888 -Dog, doggos. -(CHUCKLES) 294 00:11:15,971 --> 00:11:21,727 You know, uh, when you see dogs running in their dreams... 295 00:11:22,686 --> 00:11:24,730 they're not, they're drumming. 296 00:11:25,981 --> 00:11:26,982 I read that. 297 00:11:31,695 --> 00:11:34,115 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 298 00:11:34,198 --> 00:11:37,159 NATHAN BASIC: So, anyway, you add just like a soupcon 299 00:11:37,243 --> 00:11:38,452 of polyvinyl rubbing alcohol 300 00:11:38,536 --> 00:11:40,871 just... just to give it a nuttier finish. 301 00:11:40,955 --> 00:11:42,790 We should do a show on the ship. 302 00:11:42,873 --> 00:11:45,084 Trade recipes. What do you think, dumpling? 303 00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:46,377 Have we met before? 304 00:11:46,460 --> 00:11:49,046 Uh, no, I don't think so. Um, Nathan Basic. 305 00:11:49,130 --> 00:11:51,298 I've... I've got an aggressively generic face. 306 00:11:51,382 --> 00:11:52,925 I promise I'll bring him back in one piece. 307 00:11:53,008 --> 00:11:56,720 Oh, sure, be his guest. Like I was. 308 00:11:56,804 --> 00:12:00,683 Oh, Frank's leaving. Hey, Frank, mind if I get in on that action? 309 00:12:00,766 --> 00:12:02,726 IRIS: So, I'm leaving on the shuttle. 310 00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:07,106 Yeah, I am confirming it. This is me confirming it. 311 00:12:07,189 --> 00:12:08,983 What's your name? Do you want to be confirmed? 312 00:12:09,066 --> 00:12:11,235 Because I will fucking confirm you. 313 00:12:11,318 --> 00:12:13,654 Thank you. Have a nice life, Shelly. 314 00:12:14,655 --> 00:12:15,614 Let's go. 315 00:12:15,698 --> 00:12:18,534 -Actually, it's automatic. -Just hit go. 316 00:12:18,617 --> 00:12:20,369 Okay, it's a little more complex than that. 317 00:12:24,290 --> 00:12:25,207 Go. 318 00:12:25,291 --> 00:12:29,295 (ENGINE RUMBLING) 319 00:12:29,378 --> 00:12:30,963 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 320 00:12:31,046 --> 00:12:34,508 Smooth jazz. Rough coffee. Fieldstrip a macerator pump. 321 00:12:34,592 --> 00:12:36,844 Perfect Sunday. Let me top you up. 322 00:12:38,471 --> 00:12:41,599 This guy, seriously. He's so wise. 323 00:12:41,682 --> 00:12:43,017 Buddy, is this true love? 324 00:12:43,100 --> 00:12:44,768 Have you finally found your hair-mate? 325 00:12:44,852 --> 00:12:47,646 I've found my people. Listen, brace yourself, 326 00:12:47,730 --> 00:12:48,814 I'm leaving Avenue 5. 327 00:12:48,898 --> 00:12:53,152 Sure. Um, can you hand me the wine? Mm-hmm. 328 00:12:53,235 --> 00:12:56,822 -Thanks. -Dumpling, how's your reflux? 329 00:12:56,906 --> 00:12:58,866 He tends to bloat after evening meals. 330 00:12:58,949 --> 00:13:03,078 I do n... Karen, my enzymes are none of your business. 331 00:13:03,162 --> 00:13:05,164 Sometimes, I just wanna put him across my knee 332 00:13:05,247 --> 00:13:06,999 and burp him like a baby. (CHUCKLES) 333 00:13:07,082 --> 00:13:08,083 Oh, Christ. 334 00:13:08,667 --> 00:13:10,544 Um, listen... 335 00:13:10,628 --> 00:13:13,005 you may have noticed a certain crackle in the air 336 00:13:13,088 --> 00:13:14,256 between me and the captain? 337 00:13:14,340 --> 00:13:16,300 Oh, no, no, I haven't noticed anything. 338 00:13:16,383 --> 00:13:18,802 No, you have. It's been overpowering 339 00:13:18,886 --> 00:13:21,222 and it's ruined the whole evening. 340 00:13:21,305 --> 00:13:23,015 I literally haven't noticed anything. 341 00:13:23,098 --> 00:13:25,142 I'd like to respectfully disagree. 342 00:13:25,226 --> 00:13:26,060 Okay. 343 00:13:26,143 --> 00:13:27,645 MATT: Paula, can I just tell you, 344 00:13:27,728 --> 00:13:29,897 I really admire your stoicism. 345 00:13:29,980 --> 00:13:32,149 'Cause you guys are all stoic as fuck. 346 00:13:32,233 --> 00:13:34,735 -(PAULA CHUCKLES) -Like-- like the, uh, moccasins thing. 347 00:13:34,818 --> 00:13:35,986 The way you all go along with it. 348 00:13:36,070 --> 00:13:39,198 Oh, we're all very happy to oblige. 349 00:13:39,281 --> 00:13:41,742 -Uh, Rav, would you like to... -RAV: Um... 350 00:13:41,825 --> 00:13:43,369 Yeah, I mean, it... (CLEARS THROAT) ...makes sense 351 00:13:43,452 --> 00:13:45,496 with, uh, you know, cutting down the... (GASPS) 352 00:13:45,579 --> 00:13:46,789 ...wear and tear of carpets. 353 00:13:46,872 --> 00:13:48,541 Uh, no, no, I don't even think it's really about the... 354 00:13:48,624 --> 00:13:49,792 the... the carpeting, right? 355 00:13:49,875 --> 00:13:52,044 Johanna bangs these plates together, 356 00:13:52,127 --> 00:13:55,172 everyone takes their shoes off. It's, like, uh, Pavlovian. 357 00:13:55,256 --> 00:13:56,924 (CHUCKLES) Let's keep it light, Matt. 358 00:13:57,007 --> 00:13:58,175 This is a chat, not a show trial. 359 00:13:58,259 --> 00:14:00,636 Are-- are you saying this isn't about the carpets? 360 00:14:00,719 --> 00:14:03,597 That it's, what, some coercive control thing? 361 00:14:03,681 --> 00:14:06,183 -Yeah. -(BOWL CLANGING) 362 00:14:06,892 --> 00:14:08,102 Shall we bring out 363 00:14:08,185 --> 00:14:10,688 the thermophilic cheese cultures? 364 00:14:10,771 --> 00:14:13,274 Hear that, enzymes? Red alert. Here it comes. 365 00:14:13,357 --> 00:14:14,275 (LAUGHTER) 366 00:14:14,358 --> 00:14:15,651 -(CAMERA BEEPS) -Yes. Okay. 367 00:14:15,734 --> 00:14:16,902 Come, come, come. Come on. 368 00:14:16,986 --> 00:14:19,405 Now, we're recording for primetime tonight. 369 00:14:19,488 --> 00:14:21,156 It's not late night, so please don't curse 370 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:22,866 or handle the meat at waist level. 371 00:14:22,950 --> 00:14:24,743 This is a great cabin, by the way. 372 00:14:24,827 --> 00:14:26,078 So much better than my hovel. 373 00:14:26,161 --> 00:14:28,747 Yeah, we based the design on a dream that I had 374 00:14:28,831 --> 00:14:30,833 -when I was a-- -Okay, and we're rolling. 375 00:14:30,916 --> 00:14:31,959 On today's edition, 376 00:14:32,042 --> 00:14:34,753 we have a very special guest, Mr. Nathan Basic. 377 00:14:34,837 --> 00:14:36,297 There's the camera, Nathan. Yep. 378 00:14:36,380 --> 00:14:38,215 And we are going to be making venison 379 00:14:38,924 --> 00:14:42,136 in... a travel kettle. 380 00:14:42,219 --> 00:14:43,637 JUDD: What a great recipe. 381 00:14:43,721 --> 00:14:46,432 Does Nathan Basic look familiar to you? 382 00:14:46,515 --> 00:14:47,391 Who? 383 00:14:47,474 --> 00:14:49,184 KAREN KELLY: It's saying "classified." 384 00:14:49,268 --> 00:14:50,269 Ooh, I love a mystery. 385 00:14:50,352 --> 00:14:51,395 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 386 00:14:51,478 --> 00:14:53,147 Have you tried, uh, putting in the passcode? 387 00:14:53,230 --> 00:14:54,648 No. 388 00:14:54,732 --> 00:14:57,651 So, can you tell me about the real Captain Ryan? 389 00:14:57,735 --> 00:14:59,570 KAREN: He's not so much a person 390 00:14:59,653 --> 00:15:02,197 as a puzzle you have to crack. 391 00:15:02,281 --> 00:15:04,533 He is as playful as a seal. 392 00:15:04,617 --> 00:15:06,452 (WHISPERING) Shit me a houseboat. 393 00:15:06,535 --> 00:15:10,664 So, Nathan, what is your basic approach to food? 394 00:15:10,748 --> 00:15:11,790 JUDD: Ha ha, good one! 395 00:15:11,874 --> 00:15:13,917 Well, I like to use the whole carcass, Frank. 396 00:15:14,001 --> 00:15:15,002 You know, nose to toes. 397 00:15:15,085 --> 00:15:16,962 I mean, why... why waste all that good flesh? 398 00:15:17,046 --> 00:15:18,130 JUDD: Totally agree with that. 399 00:15:18,213 --> 00:15:21,133 If a chicken dies of a stroke, do you toss it away? 400 00:15:21,216 --> 00:15:23,427 No, you don't. You stuff it and you roast it. 401 00:15:23,510 --> 00:15:25,721 So why do we treat our family any differently? 402 00:15:25,804 --> 00:15:27,931 Totally agree. Wait, what? 403 00:15:28,015 --> 00:15:31,644 (LAUGHS) Are we talking about people here? 404 00:15:31,727 --> 00:15:33,354 Well, it's a difficult conversation. 405 00:15:33,437 --> 00:15:35,773 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ 406 00:15:35,856 --> 00:15:37,691 I've been thinking, and I'd like to try 407 00:15:37,775 --> 00:15:40,277 wearing my outdoor shoes in the mess hall. 408 00:15:40,361 --> 00:15:43,739 Sure. Where's this coming from, please? 409 00:15:43,822 --> 00:15:45,741 Uh... Ryan, quick update. 410 00:15:45,824 --> 00:15:49,453 This is a space prison. Repeat, a space prison. 411 00:15:50,704 --> 00:15:53,957 -What? What is-- What? What? -It's black ops. 412 00:15:54,041 --> 00:15:55,668 These are people considered too dangerous 413 00:15:55,751 --> 00:15:57,002 to be housed on Earth. 414 00:15:58,003 --> 00:15:59,713 What? Are you sure? 415 00:15:59,797 --> 00:16:01,507 They have a selection of cheeses. 416 00:16:02,466 --> 00:16:03,467 Mm-hmm. 417 00:16:04,593 --> 00:16:06,053 Listen to me. We've been over this 418 00:16:06,136 --> 00:16:07,221 a thousand fucking times, Paula. 419 00:16:07,304 --> 00:16:10,182 It is a low-density pile, so sit down and shut up. 420 00:16:11,725 --> 00:16:16,522 ♪ (OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 421 00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:19,817 (KNIFE SCRAPES) 422 00:16:22,403 --> 00:16:23,529 (LOUD SNAP) 423 00:16:23,612 --> 00:16:25,406 -RAV: Oh... -Oh, God. 424 00:16:26,740 --> 00:16:29,368 RAV: (WHISPERING) Ryan. Ryan. 425 00:16:29,451 --> 00:16:31,578 -Ryan! -Sorry, I'm just internalizing 426 00:16:31,662 --> 00:16:33,163 a lot of panic and fear right now. 427 00:16:33,247 --> 00:16:34,415 (BREATHES SHAKILY) Yeah. 428 00:16:35,958 --> 00:16:37,793 But now I've done that, and I'm back in the room. 429 00:16:37,876 --> 00:16:39,420 Okay. Good. Read. 430 00:16:39,962 --> 00:16:41,714 "Octuple homicide, 431 00:16:41,797 --> 00:16:43,215 -with an ice cream scoop." -(CHUCKLES) 432 00:16:45,092 --> 00:16:47,761 "Wore his mother's wedding dress and her head." 433 00:16:47,845 --> 00:16:48,929 Yep, yep, yep. 434 00:16:49,012 --> 00:16:52,891 "Buried them under the funfair." "Stole their feet." 435 00:16:52,975 --> 00:16:55,269 Swipe, there's photos. Photos. 436 00:16:55,728 --> 00:16:56,770 -Oh! -Hmm. 437 00:16:58,021 --> 00:17:00,816 (EXHALES SHARPLY) My eyes have just shat themselves. 438 00:17:03,068 --> 00:17:04,194 Oh, boy. 439 00:17:04,278 --> 00:17:06,572 Well, I-- I think I might, uh... 440 00:17:06,655 --> 00:17:08,365 wear some of those moccasins after all. 441 00:17:08,449 --> 00:17:11,243 Good idea. I will cover for you. 442 00:17:12,453 --> 00:17:15,581 So... (INHALES SHARPLY) 443 00:17:15,664 --> 00:17:17,416 -Uh, Karen. -RAV: Guys. 444 00:17:17,499 --> 00:17:20,294 -Excuse me. -RYAN: (WHISPERING) Guys. 445 00:17:20,377 --> 00:17:23,797 (CHUCKLES) Listen, I'm gonna tell you something now, 446 00:17:23,881 --> 00:17:25,966 and it's very important that they don't know 447 00:17:26,049 --> 00:17:28,302 what it is that I'm telling you. All right, so... 448 00:17:28,385 --> 00:17:29,803 so when I wink... 449 00:17:29,887 --> 00:17:31,388 -(CHUCKLES) -(CHUCKLES) 450 00:17:31,472 --> 00:17:34,141 ...I need you to laugh, understood? 451 00:17:34,224 --> 00:17:37,186 -Mm-hmm. -I've just been informed 452 00:17:37,269 --> 00:17:39,605 that we are-- get-- get ready to laugh-- 453 00:17:40,564 --> 00:17:42,274 surrounded by-- ready to laugh-- 454 00:17:43,567 --> 00:17:46,403 dozens of convicted psychopaths. 455 00:17:50,949 --> 00:17:54,203 Wait, what? I don't get it. Was that a joke or... 456 00:17:54,870 --> 00:17:56,246 No, that's-- No. 457 00:17:57,247 --> 00:17:58,957 Uh, you're supposed to laugh 458 00:17:59,041 --> 00:18:01,668 so they don't know what I've just told you. 459 00:18:01,752 --> 00:18:03,128 The guy that Frank just left with 460 00:18:03,212 --> 00:18:06,632 is the Denver Cannibal. He ate 19 people. 461 00:18:06,715 --> 00:18:09,802 They found 36 thumbs in his basement. 462 00:18:09,885 --> 00:18:13,096 Oh, my God, Frank is petrified of cannibals. 463 00:18:13,180 --> 00:18:14,848 -That's 38. -RAV: What? 464 00:18:14,932 --> 00:18:16,767 -RYAN: What? -Nineteen people, 465 00:18:16,850 --> 00:18:18,393 that'd be 38 thumbs. You said 36. 466 00:18:18,477 --> 00:18:20,771 I don't know! I can't do the fucking thumb arithmetic. 467 00:18:20,854 --> 00:18:22,481 Well, he might've used the last two 468 00:18:22,564 --> 00:18:24,274 as, uh, like wine stoppers. 469 00:18:24,358 --> 00:18:27,986 Okay, Sally, that nice lady over there. 470 00:18:28,070 --> 00:18:31,448 No, don't look. She bludgeoned her mother to death 471 00:18:31,532 --> 00:18:34,618 -with her father. -She bludgeoned a parent 472 00:18:34,701 --> 00:18:36,537 -with another parent? -RAV: Yes, yes. 473 00:18:36,620 --> 00:18:39,581 Okay, well, at least they died in each other's arms. 474 00:18:39,665 --> 00:18:41,625 And who are we to condemn the butterfly 475 00:18:41,708 --> 00:18:43,669 for the crimes of the caterpillar? 476 00:18:43,752 --> 00:18:47,464 Uh, Johanna killed and raped her nine beagles. 477 00:18:47,548 --> 00:18:49,675 -(GASPS) -Okay, fuck that. 478 00:18:49,758 --> 00:18:50,843 We need to leave. 479 00:18:50,926 --> 00:18:53,595 Hold on, because she told me she groomed them. 480 00:18:53,679 --> 00:18:55,180 Extraction plan. 481 00:18:57,140 --> 00:18:59,852 Shoes on and then very slowly 482 00:18:59,935 --> 00:19:01,228 move towards the door 483 00:19:01,311 --> 00:19:03,564 without aggravating the psychopaths. 484 00:19:03,647 --> 00:19:07,651 -(CHUCKLES) Okay, good. -(ALL CHUCKLE) 485 00:19:07,734 --> 00:19:09,444 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 486 00:19:09,528 --> 00:19:11,864 (ALL CHUCKLING) 487 00:19:11,947 --> 00:19:15,367 -RYAN: (CHUCKLING) Right? Right? -MATT: (CHUCKLES) Yeah. 488 00:19:15,450 --> 00:19:17,160 You should see the commode. 489 00:19:17,244 --> 00:19:19,830 Got more bells and whistles than a fairground. 490 00:19:19,913 --> 00:19:22,124 Spike, the ship is full of murderers. 491 00:19:22,207 --> 00:19:24,418 -We're fucking off. -You mean Lyle? 492 00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:26,962 -Lyle's not a murderer. -What-- So I chose a good one? 493 00:19:27,045 --> 00:19:29,381 He's a pedophile. 494 00:19:29,464 --> 00:19:32,843 (GROANS) I... I... I need to bathe in bleach. 495 00:19:32,926 --> 00:19:35,304 Shit, they've taken our shoes so we can't get away. 496 00:19:35,387 --> 00:19:38,181 I can't get the image of those little doggies out of my mind. 497 00:19:38,265 --> 00:19:39,766 And there she is, standing over them 498 00:19:39,850 --> 00:19:41,101 with lubricant and a brick. 499 00:19:41,184 --> 00:19:42,436 Billie, Billie, shoes, shoes, come on. 500 00:19:42,519 --> 00:19:43,770 JOHANNA: Going somewhere, Captain? 501 00:19:44,855 --> 00:19:46,773 We were just stoning some plums. 502 00:19:46,857 --> 00:19:48,358 Oh, that sounds... 503 00:19:49,276 --> 00:19:50,903 That's-- Uh, yes. 504 00:19:50,986 --> 00:19:52,529 But I need to use the bathroom 505 00:19:52,613 --> 00:19:54,865 and it's-- it's better if I use my own. 506 00:19:54,948 --> 00:19:56,825 -He's very regular. -RYAN: That's-- You see? 507 00:19:56,909 --> 00:20:00,037 -I can honestly set my watch. -All right, Karen. Just-- 508 00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:04,082 Thank you. So, if we could have our shoes... 509 00:20:04,166 --> 00:20:06,418 Uh, mine are the old fashioned running shoes 510 00:20:06,501 --> 00:20:07,544 for sentimental value. 511 00:20:07,628 --> 00:20:09,671 -Sentimental value. (CHUCKLES) -RYAN: What? 512 00:20:09,755 --> 00:20:11,757 -You're just rude. -(RAV GASPING) 513 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:13,300 You're a very, very rude man. 514 00:20:13,383 --> 00:20:16,470 -MATT: Oh, boy. -Ooh, I don't think we're getting our shoes back. 515 00:20:16,553 --> 00:20:18,013 Mine were quite expensive. 516 00:20:21,516 --> 00:20:24,102 Uh, don't run but... run. 517 00:20:24,186 --> 00:20:29,066 -♪ (FRANTIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(ALL CLAMORING) 518 00:20:29,149 --> 00:20:30,817 RYAN: Enjoy the flapjack! 519 00:20:30,901 --> 00:20:35,530 (ALL CLAMORING) 520 00:20:35,614 --> 00:20:37,449 You want to be careful to avoid fusing 521 00:20:37,532 --> 00:20:39,451 the venison with the element. 522 00:20:39,534 --> 00:20:42,329 Or take cremation. We already cook people. 523 00:20:42,412 --> 00:20:43,914 Yet what do we do with that meal? 524 00:20:43,997 --> 00:20:46,625 -We throw it in the bin. -I mean, I guess I can see 525 00:20:46,708 --> 00:20:48,418 how you might end up eating a corpse. 526 00:20:48,502 --> 00:20:51,463 KAREN: (OVER EARPIECE) Frank, sorry to interrupt your camera bit. 527 00:20:51,546 --> 00:20:54,341 The guy on your show is the Denver Cannibal. 528 00:20:54,424 --> 00:20:55,717 -Right... -KAREN: He killed and ate 529 00:20:55,801 --> 00:20:59,388 a butt ton of people. Blink twice if you understand. 530 00:21:01,264 --> 00:21:03,141 KAREN: That was three times, but no judgement. 531 00:21:03,225 --> 00:21:06,853 Ah, look at that. Ah. Corpses. Yes. 532 00:21:06,937 --> 00:21:10,315 And so we just pop it in. Turn the kettle on. Bang! 533 00:21:10,399 --> 00:21:13,026 Venison à la kettle. Butt ton. 534 00:21:13,110 --> 00:21:14,403 Good night, everybody. Thank you. 535 00:21:14,486 --> 00:21:17,864 Uh, please, Mr. Judd, if you could walk our guest out. 536 00:21:17,948 --> 00:21:19,199 -What? -FRANK KELLY: Thank you. 537 00:21:19,283 --> 00:21:22,828 All right. Uh, that door, the only one you can go out. 538 00:21:22,911 --> 00:21:25,288 -Follow all the J's. -I'll... I'll figure it out. 539 00:21:25,372 --> 00:21:26,957 But think about it. You've got a chance to be 540 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:29,167 on the right side of history here. 541 00:21:29,251 --> 00:21:32,754 Oh, my God. Okay. We-- We have to delete everything 542 00:21:32,838 --> 00:21:35,298 that has to do with that. Everything. 543 00:21:35,382 --> 00:21:38,301 -RAV: Utterly horrible . - BILLIE: Oh, my-- I feel sick. 544 00:21:38,385 --> 00:21:40,804 (SIGHS) They have ruined people for me. 545 00:21:40,887 --> 00:21:43,557 Yeah, let's not do people ever, ever again. 546 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:46,059 Sure. But all in all, good visit? 547 00:21:46,143 --> 00:21:48,603 Lovely location. Shame about the gore-mongers. 548 00:21:48,687 --> 00:21:51,064 But, yeah, zero out of ten, could not recommend. 549 00:21:51,148 --> 00:21:52,774 BILLIE: Unless, guys, 550 00:21:52,858 --> 00:21:55,527 I mean, the eel tank still needs to be fixed 551 00:21:55,610 --> 00:21:57,112 and there is Spike's friend... 552 00:21:57,195 --> 00:21:59,406 If anything, he was a friend of a friend. 553 00:21:59,489 --> 00:22:01,116 Billie, are you suggesting 554 00:22:01,199 --> 00:22:03,535 that we allow a pedophile on board ship 555 00:22:03,618 --> 00:22:05,287 -to fix our eel tank? -No! 556 00:22:05,370 --> 00:22:07,080 That, of course, is madness. 557 00:22:07,164 --> 00:22:08,832 -Brackets, is it, though? -Yes. 558 00:22:08,915 --> 00:22:11,084 Brackets, fuck yes. 559 00:22:11,168 --> 00:22:13,503 Okay, I'm sorry to always be the corporate stiff, 560 00:22:13,587 --> 00:22:15,672 but I cannot allow a sexual predator 561 00:22:15,756 --> 00:22:17,758 to roam free among vacationing families. 562 00:22:17,841 --> 00:22:19,968 I'm a libertarian, but there's a line. 563 00:22:20,052 --> 00:22:22,888 Okay, so we don't let them roam freely. 564 00:22:22,971 --> 00:22:25,265 We engineer like a hamster run 565 00:22:25,348 --> 00:22:28,310 from the airlock, directly to the eel tank. 566 00:22:28,393 --> 00:22:31,855 What if the predator punctures this hamster run? 567 00:22:31,938 --> 00:22:34,608 You know, he could have a blade concealed in his mud pipe. 568 00:22:34,691 --> 00:22:36,860 -Then we're leaking pedo. -FRANK: Very good point. 569 00:22:37,819 --> 00:22:38,862 A ball! 570 00:22:40,906 --> 00:22:42,407 A ball! 571 00:22:42,491 --> 00:22:47,120 We put the sexual predator inside of an inflatable ball. 572 00:22:47,204 --> 00:22:50,082 And then put the ball inside the tube. 573 00:22:50,165 --> 00:22:51,249 Now you're crushing it. 574 00:22:51,333 --> 00:22:53,835 A pipe and a ball! You're essentially creating 575 00:22:53,919 --> 00:22:55,754 a theme park attraction for a pervert. 576 00:22:55,837 --> 00:22:58,298 Okay, look, we all have qualms about this, 577 00:22:58,381 --> 00:23:01,384 but we can't eat qualms. We need the eels. 578 00:23:01,468 --> 00:23:05,055 Great! Death or pedo? Sounds like fun. 579 00:23:06,139 --> 00:23:07,265 (RADIO BEEPS) 580 00:23:07,349 --> 00:23:09,142 RYAN: Obviously, I do not want this on my record, 581 00:23:09,226 --> 00:23:11,144 but release the pedophile. 582 00:23:11,228 --> 00:23:14,648 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 583 00:23:16,233 --> 00:23:18,485 -Hamster's on the move. -RYAN: Copy that. 584 00:23:39,589 --> 00:23:43,343 All right, Mads, unzip the nonce-o-sphere. 585 00:23:43,426 --> 00:23:44,970 JUDD: I mean, I imagined it would be bigger 586 00:23:45,053 --> 00:23:46,179 and filled with straw 587 00:23:46,263 --> 00:23:48,306 and I would've put him on a leash, but it's good. 588 00:23:48,932 --> 00:23:50,016 LYLE: Thank you. 589 00:23:50,100 --> 00:23:51,852 I have done what a judge would not, 590 00:23:51,935 --> 00:23:53,019 I freed the pedo. 591 00:23:53,103 --> 00:23:55,397 All right, sir. We want you to commence 592 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,857 mending the eel tanks. 593 00:23:56,940 --> 00:23:59,526 We're gonna stand back here offering encouraging comments 594 00:23:59,609 --> 00:24:01,653 without in any way condoning your prior actions. 595 00:24:01,736 --> 00:24:02,946 LYLE: I'm done with judging. 596 00:24:04,406 --> 00:24:06,950 MATT: Vacationing families, atmosphere of dread, 597 00:24:07,033 --> 00:24:10,996 predator with good teeth. It's like psychosexual Jaws. 598 00:24:11,079 --> 00:24:12,998 We'll laugh about this one day, 599 00:24:13,081 --> 00:24:16,126 as we're being led away to our deaths by lethal injection. 600 00:24:16,209 --> 00:24:18,003 Can I just say, I find this whole thing 601 00:24:18,086 --> 00:24:19,504 morally revolting. 602 00:24:20,255 --> 00:24:21,673 And yet you brought snacks. 603 00:24:21,756 --> 00:24:23,884 -(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES) -(RAV GASPS) 604 00:24:23,967 --> 00:24:25,552 Can I get a glass of water, please? 605 00:24:25,635 --> 00:24:27,220 The nonce is requesting liquids. 606 00:24:27,304 --> 00:24:30,432 No! We should not be hydrating a fiddle-man. 607 00:24:30,515 --> 00:24:32,767 Shall I tell him to drink his own tainted piss? 608 00:24:32,851 --> 00:24:34,311 JUDD: I guess we can get him room service, 609 00:24:34,394 --> 00:24:36,062 but he's gonna have to pay. 610 00:24:36,146 --> 00:24:37,480 -(COMPUTER PINGS) -BILLIE: Oh, my gosh. 611 00:24:37,564 --> 00:24:39,566 -(WATER GURGLES) -We're back online. He did it. 612 00:24:39,649 --> 00:24:42,527 (CHEERING) 613 00:24:42,611 --> 00:24:44,821 (SINGING) ♪ For he's a jolly good fellow ♪ 614 00:24:44,905 --> 00:24:49,534 No, no, no, no. No! He-- No. He actually isn't. 615 00:24:49,618 --> 00:24:51,036 -Sorry. -Thank you, sir. 616 00:24:51,119 --> 00:24:52,746 -A qualified thanks. -BILLIE: Mm-hmm. 617 00:24:52,829 --> 00:24:54,581 Now, back in your ball. 618 00:24:54,664 --> 00:24:56,917 You said I could come live with you if I fixed the tank. 619 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,044 Come on, that was obviously a lie. 620 00:24:59,127 --> 00:25:01,671 -You promised. -Promises are for suckers. 621 00:25:01,755 --> 00:25:03,215 -Sucker! -LYLE: Okay, then, 622 00:25:03,298 --> 00:25:05,008 how about you suck on this? 623 00:25:05,091 --> 00:25:07,260 -(ALL SHOUTING) -RYAN: Oh, no, no, no. Listen! 624 00:25:07,344 --> 00:25:09,221 -Lyle! -Lyle, Lyle! Lyle! Lyle! 625 00:25:09,304 --> 00:25:12,641 We can definitely come to some sort-- 626 00:25:12,724 --> 00:25:14,392 Oh, look, your water. 627 00:25:14,476 --> 00:25:15,810 -(SCREAMS) -(LYLE GRUNTING) 628 00:25:15,894 --> 00:25:17,270 All the way. All the way. All the way. 629 00:25:17,354 --> 00:25:18,980 JUDD: That's why you gotta put him on a leash! 630 00:25:19,064 --> 00:25:20,106 RYAN: Zip him up. Zip him up. 631 00:25:20,190 --> 00:25:22,108 BILLIE: Get the pump! Get the pump! 632 00:25:22,192 --> 00:25:23,902 -I have it. -(INDISTINCT CLAMOR) 633 00:25:23,985 --> 00:25:26,404 -Mads! Inflate the deviant. -LYLE: Ow! Ow! 634 00:25:26,488 --> 00:25:30,700 Thank you for your service, we'll remember you complexly. 635 00:25:30,784 --> 00:25:33,995 -It's okay, dumpling, I'm right here. It's okay. -LYLE: I don't wanna go back! 636 00:25:34,079 --> 00:25:35,080 MADS: Strangle him! 637 00:25:35,163 --> 00:25:36,873 BILLIE: Where's the leg? Where's the thumb? 638 00:25:36,957 --> 00:25:39,417 -(LYLE SCREAMING) -Okay, get him out of here. 639 00:25:39,501 --> 00:25:41,836 -SPIKE: Go on, get out of here. -BILLIE: Get out of here. 640 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,756 (LYLE SCREAMING, SOBBING) 641 00:25:44,839 --> 00:25:47,133 -I'll be good! -BILLIE: Come on, Mads! 642 00:25:47,217 --> 00:25:49,261 -(LYLE SCREAMING) -MADS: It looks so funny. 643 00:25:49,344 --> 00:25:52,055 -(LYLE GROANING) -Try to get the hammer in his head! 644 00:25:52,138 --> 00:25:54,975 -BILLIE: It's time to go. -MADS: Ow! You motherfucking kicked me. 645 00:25:55,058 --> 00:25:57,102 KAREN: Come on, let him have it. Let him have it. 646 00:25:57,185 --> 00:26:01,356 -(MUFFLED SHOUTING) -LYLE: (GROANS) God, stop! 647 00:26:01,439 --> 00:26:04,150 JUDD: I did this! This was my idea. 648 00:26:04,234 --> 00:26:06,152 (ALL CLAMOR) 649 00:26:06,236 --> 00:26:07,279 I hope you get eaten! 650 00:26:07,362 --> 00:26:09,114 BILLIE: Thank you for fixing the tank. 651 00:26:09,197 --> 00:26:11,491 Captain, please, if I can just explain. 652 00:26:11,574 --> 00:26:14,494 (SCREAMING) Hey, Johanna! Fuck you! 653 00:26:14,577 --> 00:26:17,622 -And fuck your moccasins! -(CROWD CHEERING) 654 00:26:17,706 --> 00:26:21,084 I'm a good person. I can love. Don't forget your baking tray. 655 00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:23,211 -(ALL SHOUTING) -PAULA: Fuck you! 656 00:26:23,295 --> 00:26:25,422 It's good that you're talking this out. 657 00:26:28,383 --> 00:26:29,342 Wow. 658 00:26:29,426 --> 00:26:31,261 Boy, I'd hate to be a fly on that wall. 659 00:26:32,262 --> 00:26:38,143 ♪ (UPLIFTING MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 660 00:26:39,477 --> 00:26:41,688 The only man capable of fixing the eel tank 661 00:26:41,771 --> 00:26:43,440 is carrying a dangerous disease. 662 00:26:43,523 --> 00:26:46,359 Okay, so we use the pipe to get him from the airlock. 663 00:26:46,443 --> 00:26:48,653 -And what if he escapes? -TV SARAH: Hang on! 664 00:26:48,737 --> 00:26:50,488 Wait for it. 665 00:26:50,572 --> 00:26:53,616 What if we put him inside a big plastic ball? 666 00:26:54,993 --> 00:26:56,328 I totally agree. 667 00:26:56,870 --> 00:26:59,164 Fuck, yeah! 668 00:26:59,247 --> 00:27:02,625 -Hologram tech, baby. -This is a game changer. 669 00:27:02,709 --> 00:27:04,878 Seriously, I don't even recognize the game. 670 00:27:04,961 --> 00:27:07,088 (SIGHS) Decisions! 671 00:27:07,172 --> 00:27:09,049 God, it feels good to finally get one right. 672 00:27:09,132 --> 00:27:12,719 Ryan, the ship's smart sensor is showing we have a stowaway. 673 00:27:12,802 --> 00:27:15,055 -A what? -Frank's cannibal 674 00:27:15,138 --> 00:27:16,514 is still on board. 675 00:27:16,598 --> 00:27:19,351 Oh, take me to hell and toast my tits. 676 00:27:19,434 --> 00:27:21,019 Now, this is a teachable moment. 677 00:27:21,102 --> 00:27:22,270 You were so focused on the pedo, 678 00:27:22,354 --> 00:27:24,147 you forgot all about the cannibal. 679 00:27:24,230 --> 00:27:26,107 Tale as old as time. 680 00:27:26,191 --> 00:27:28,568 So, I bring tools for the eel tank. 681 00:27:29,194 --> 00:27:30,236 (TOOLBOX THUDS) 682 00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:31,863 What I miss? 683 00:27:31,946 --> 00:27:38,536 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 684 00:28:31,089 --> 00:28:33,842 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪