1
00:00:06,010 --> 00:00:11,683
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
2
00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:16,271
Uh, and you have coffee
with the ship's imam at 10.
3
00:00:16,354 --> 00:00:18,606
Then the cleaning crew
want to gift you
4
00:00:18,690 --> 00:00:20,984
-with some new pillows.
-RYAN CLARK: Excellent.
5
00:00:21,067 --> 00:00:24,028
My memory foam ones
have developed dementia.
6
00:00:24,112 --> 00:00:27,365
Uh, then the Avenue 5 Brass Band
want to play for you,
7
00:00:27,449 --> 00:00:30,952
-and then gift you a tuba.
-Can we un-gift it?
8
00:00:31,035 --> 00:00:33,747
-Fly safe.
-Fly true, Supreme Commander!
9
00:00:33,830 --> 00:00:38,042
Yes. Heil me. Supreme Commander.
What if I get used to this?
10
00:00:38,126 --> 00:00:39,711
Respectfully, you should.
11
00:00:39,794 --> 00:00:41,921
Striding about
like a Dutch hairdresser
12
00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:44,132
-who killed someone once.
-RAV MULCAIR: Um, at noon,
13
00:00:44,215 --> 00:00:46,509
could you officially
open the ship's Cuddle Club?
14
00:00:46,593 --> 00:00:48,303
-Cuddle Club?
-Mm, yeah, a group of passengers
15
00:00:48,386 --> 00:00:50,138
have put it together
as some sort of group therapy.
16
00:00:50,221 --> 00:00:51,681
-RYAN: Sit down.
-It's totally non-sexual.
17
00:00:51,765 --> 00:00:53,057
And totally non-normal.
18
00:00:53,141 --> 00:00:54,267
For goodness' sake.
19
00:00:54,350 --> 00:00:56,561
What's wrong with a good
old-fashioned frosty handshake?
20
00:00:56,644 --> 00:00:59,814
Look at Iris suffocating him
like a horny praying mantis.
21
00:00:59,898 --> 00:01:01,816
BILLIE MCEVOY: Yeah,
Ryan could do a shit right now
22
00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,318
and all these passengers
would line up
23
00:01:03,401 --> 00:01:05,862
-to take a selfie with it.
-And at one o'clock,
24
00:01:05,945 --> 00:01:07,697
you're meeting
with Theater Action.
25
00:01:07,781 --> 00:01:09,616
-♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪
-Can we un-action that?
26
00:01:09,699 --> 00:01:11,326
Actually,
un-theater it, preferably.
27
00:01:11,409 --> 00:01:13,536
-Fuck you, Supreme Commander.
-Fly true, Supreme Commander.
28
00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,914
How did we end up with him
in charge twice?
29
00:01:15,997 --> 00:01:16,956
Tell me about it.
30
00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,209
BILLIE: He is not worthy
of your ship.
31
00:01:20,919 --> 00:01:23,463
I don't know why, but I find you
very interesting right now.
32
00:01:23,546 --> 00:01:25,799
-Hmm.
-You speak from the heart.
33
00:01:30,053 --> 00:01:31,137
(RAV CLEARS THROAT)
34
00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,972
I hate to be the bearer
of bad news.
35
00:01:33,056 --> 00:01:34,516
And I hate hearing it.
36
00:01:34,599 --> 00:01:36,226
Feels like there's a solution
in there somewhere.
37
00:01:36,309 --> 00:01:38,102
-PASSENGER: Commander.
-Well, rumors are-- Hi.
38
00:01:38,186 --> 00:01:42,065
(WHISPERS) Rumors are spreading
that the water is contaminated.
39
00:01:42,148 --> 00:01:46,236
You see, this is why people
should never, ever talk.
40
00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:49,155
RAV: Mm, agreed,
but conversation is inevitable.
41
00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:51,783
Which is why I'd like
to install some operatives.
42
00:01:51,866 --> 00:01:54,661
What do you mean, operatives?
You mean secret police?
43
00:01:54,744 --> 00:01:56,538
I hesitate to use
the term "secret police."
44
00:01:56,621 --> 00:01:58,540
Well,
you didn't hesitate very long.
45
00:01:58,623 --> 00:02:00,542
-Matt is--
-Highly problematic.
46
00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:03,795
No, no.
We are not having secret police.
47
00:02:03,878 --> 00:02:05,296
That is my final decision.
48
00:02:05,380 --> 00:02:08,174
Decree. But fine,
I won't appoint any.
49
00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:10,218
You say that, Iris,
but will you?
50
00:02:10,301 --> 00:02:12,011
MATT SPENCER: Soon we'll be
at each other's throats.
51
00:02:12,095 --> 00:02:13,388
-Do you want that?
-FOLLOWERS: No!
52
00:02:13,471 --> 00:02:15,390
-♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-When brother fights brother
53
00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:18,977
for the moisture that he's wrung
from a hand towel,
54
00:02:19,060 --> 00:02:21,104
will Lyin' Ryan be there
to save you?
55
00:02:21,187 --> 00:02:22,939
-FOLLOWERS: No!
-MATT: No, he won't,
56
00:02:23,022 --> 00:02:25,567
but we'll be there,
because we've got ammo.
57
00:02:25,650 --> 00:02:26,734
(FOLLOWERS MUTTER)
58
00:02:26,818 --> 00:02:28,111
-We've got camo.
-FOLLOWERS: Yes!
59
00:02:28,194 --> 00:02:30,196
-We are ready to go...
-FOLLOWERS: Blammo!
60
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,741
-Blammo!
-(FOLLOWERS YELLING)
61
00:02:33,825 --> 00:02:36,536
Oh, what is this
intoxicating clarity?
62
00:02:36,619 --> 00:02:39,038
-(YELLING) Yeah!
-(FOLLOWERS CHEER)
63
00:02:39,122 --> 00:02:44,294
♪ ("AVENUE 5"
THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
64
00:02:49,424 --> 00:02:51,759
Seeing some sweet cuddles
out there, guys.
65
00:02:51,843 --> 00:02:53,720
Really nice.
66
00:02:53,803 --> 00:02:56,890
Some nice swaying cuddles.
Comforting.
67
00:02:56,973 --> 00:02:58,099
Tap your cuddler's head
68
00:02:58,182 --> 00:03:00,560
if you want your cuddle
to end early.
69
00:03:01,603 --> 00:03:04,939
Otherwise, just surrender
70
00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:07,442
like a calf
in the butcher's embrace.
71
00:03:09,611 --> 00:03:10,570
(BELL RINGS)
72
00:03:10,653 --> 00:03:12,697
All right, there's time to chug
a few more hugs
73
00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:14,282
before our Supreme Commander
gets here
74
00:03:14,365 --> 00:03:16,868
and declares
our spoon room open.
75
00:03:16,951 --> 00:03:18,411
KAREN KELLY:
Will he be cuddling?
76
00:03:18,494 --> 00:03:20,663
-DOUG: If he consents.
-Oh, please.
77
00:03:20,747 --> 00:03:22,540
If he's here,
he's asking for it.
78
00:03:22,624 --> 00:03:25,376
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
79
00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:26,669
All good out there?
80
00:03:26,753 --> 00:03:28,588
I mean,
considering how bad it is?
81
00:03:28,671 --> 00:03:31,257
RAV: Let's just say the mood
on the ship is uh,
82
00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:34,302
pre-post-apocalyptic.
What-- what is that dot?
83
00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:36,304
Oh, God, you saw it, too, huh?
84
00:03:36,387 --> 00:03:37,680
(SIGHS) I get these floaters.
85
00:03:37,764 --> 00:03:39,015
-(KEYBOARD CLACKING)
-(COMPUTER BEEPS)
86
00:03:39,098 --> 00:03:42,143
Oh, hold the phone,
that's not macular degeneration.
87
00:03:43,811 --> 00:03:45,313
That's a meteor.
88
00:03:45,396 --> 00:03:47,815
A compass,
but instead of telling you
89
00:03:47,899 --> 00:03:49,609
where you are,
it tells you when you are.
90
00:03:50,735 --> 00:03:53,321
-So-- so, like a clock?
-No, way better.
91
00:03:53,404 --> 00:03:55,573
-Way better than a clock.
-Yeah.
92
00:03:55,657 --> 00:03:57,825
That is just genius.
93
00:03:57,909 --> 00:04:01,329
So-- so, were you thinking
about talking to Lucas yet?
94
00:04:01,412 --> 00:04:03,998
You know, get the rescue
back on track?
95
00:04:04,082 --> 00:04:07,710
Artificially made twins
to serve unwanted jail time.
96
00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:09,963
Smart. You know,
97
00:04:10,046 --> 00:04:12,924
it's just if you did
want some help with Lucas,
98
00:04:13,007 --> 00:04:15,468
then I could set a time and date
for the meeting,
99
00:04:15,551 --> 00:04:18,137
or even if you wanted,
I could help lead the meeting.
100
00:04:18,221 --> 00:04:20,682
Oh, that's so sweet,
but fuck no.
101
00:04:20,765 --> 00:04:23,351
Only top CEOs can negotiate
government policy.
102
00:04:23,434 --> 00:04:24,686
That's just how democracy works.
103
00:04:24,769 --> 00:04:28,189
And I'm a top CEO, so...
(SLURPS) ...suck it, Ryan.
104
00:04:28,272 --> 00:04:29,857
BILLIE: Yeah, suck it, Ryan.
105
00:04:29,941 --> 00:04:31,651
RYAN: I believe
we booked this room.
106
00:04:31,734 --> 00:04:33,861
-Hey, Ryan.
-We've commandeered it.
107
00:04:33,945 --> 00:04:34,988
Commandeered. Exactly.
108
00:04:35,071 --> 00:04:36,656
You're in breach of protocol.
Stand.
109
00:04:36,739 --> 00:04:37,699
-BILLIE: Oh.
-Sit.
110
00:04:37,782 --> 00:04:40,159
Stand and leave,
or face the consequences.
111
00:04:40,243 --> 00:04:43,037
I'm gonna leave
'cause I was planning
on leaving anyway.
112
00:04:43,121 --> 00:04:44,372
But I'm not gonna stand.
113
00:04:45,248 --> 00:04:46,958
Excited to see this process.
114
00:04:52,005 --> 00:04:53,089
-(GRUNTS)
-(CHAIR THUDS)
115
00:04:53,172 --> 00:04:54,799
-(LAUGHS, SQUEALS)
-HERMAN JUDD: Oh, thank fuck.
116
00:04:54,882 --> 00:04:57,176
Rav saves the day.
117
00:04:57,260 --> 00:04:58,720
Rav is speaking
in the third person
118
00:04:58,803 --> 00:04:59,887
because she is modest,
119
00:04:59,971 --> 00:05:02,473
and because
she has also discovered a meteor
120
00:05:02,557 --> 00:05:03,891
full of lithium.
121
00:05:03,975 --> 00:05:05,893
I'm gonna stand now,
only because I want to see
what's on there.
122
00:05:05,977 --> 00:05:07,562
Billie, understand that for me,
will you?
123
00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,399
Eighty-five percent lithium ore?
124
00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:13,901
But this is like
pure heroin lithium.
125
00:05:13,985 --> 00:05:17,155
-Heroin's good, right?
-Earth is gagging for lithium.
126
00:05:17,238 --> 00:05:19,824
We can get them
to reprioritize a rescue.
127
00:05:19,907 --> 00:05:22,368
So, we just need
to start negotiating with Lucas.
128
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,996
No, that's incorrect.
Only CEOs can negotiate
129
00:05:25,079 --> 00:05:27,206
with TOTOPOTUS. You, however,
130
00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:29,876
are authorized to, um...
(SLURPS)
131
00:05:29,959 --> 00:05:31,836
-...suck it.
-BILLIE: Yeah!
132
00:05:31,919 --> 00:05:35,048
CEOs only, Captain Cockrag.
133
00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:36,591
Wow.
134
00:05:36,674 --> 00:05:39,010
Right, I-- Yes, I'm gonna need
to clear the room,
135
00:05:39,093 --> 00:05:42,221
so that I can berate Billie
for gross insubordination.
136
00:05:42,305 --> 00:05:44,766
-Good. A larynx is a privilege.
-JUDD: I'm gonna leave
137
00:05:44,849 --> 00:05:47,101
because I choose
to clear the room.
138
00:05:47,185 --> 00:05:49,771
Not because you literally
just said the words.
139
00:05:49,854 --> 00:05:52,982
(DOOR SLIDING OPEN)
140
00:05:53,066 --> 00:05:55,109
Yeah, well, what do you want?
141
00:05:55,193 --> 00:05:56,527
What do you mean,
what do I want?
142
00:05:56,611 --> 00:05:57,737
What do you want?
143
00:05:57,820 --> 00:06:00,448
Billie, we agreed,
you insult me, I clear the room.
144
00:06:00,531 --> 00:06:03,743
-I'm sorry, I forgot.
-What do you mean you forgot?
145
00:06:03,826 --> 00:06:06,954
So where did "Captain Cockrag"
come from? Was that heartfelt?
146
00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,249
Oh, no-- no. I just--
147
00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:12,085
You know, I'm not--
I'm not very good at this--
148
00:06:12,168 --> 00:06:13,753
-Talking?
-Improvisation.
149
00:06:13,836 --> 00:06:16,839
You have to be with Judd
when he talks to Lucas.
150
00:06:16,923 --> 00:06:18,925
Well, yes, yes,
and we'd be getting into that
151
00:06:19,008 --> 00:06:20,802
if you hadn't just sent him
out the room.
152
00:06:20,885 --> 00:06:22,095
Well, I did that
153
00:06:22,178 --> 00:06:24,597
because you called me
Captain Cockrag.
154
00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:25,807
Well, was I wrong?
155
00:06:25,890 --> 00:06:27,683
I don't know. I don't know
what a cockrag is.
156
00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:29,852
Just be there
when he talks to Lucas.
157
00:06:29,936 --> 00:06:32,313
BILLIE: Yes, I will be.
I have his ear.
158
00:06:32,396 --> 00:06:33,439
RYAN: Fuck his ear.
159
00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:34,649
It's his mouth
you need to control.
160
00:06:34,732 --> 00:06:41,447
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
161
00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,658
If Ryan is king,
I'm Oliver Cromwell, right?
162
00:06:43,741 --> 00:06:44,617
(FOLLOWERS CHEER)
163
00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:46,410
If he's Gladstone, I'm Disraeli.
164
00:06:46,494 --> 00:06:47,620
(SCATTERED CHEER)
165
00:06:47,703 --> 00:06:50,164
If he's A.S. Byatt,
I'm Margaret Drabble!
166
00:06:50,248 --> 00:06:51,582
Compare things we know!
167
00:06:51,666 --> 00:06:52,917
Eh, never been a big sports fan.
168
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,127
MATT: Well,
they're not sports stars.
169
00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:57,213
They're sister novelists
who feuded like rappers.
170
00:06:57,296 --> 00:07:00,091
I'm still without a frame
of reference.
171
00:07:00,174 --> 00:07:03,719
-Ryan's an asshole, right?
-(FOLLOWERS CHEER)
172
00:07:03,803 --> 00:07:06,222
KAREN: Remember,
you may pat and caress
173
00:07:06,305 --> 00:07:08,182
all non-erogenous zones.
174
00:07:08,266 --> 00:07:10,893
At this point,
my entire body is non-erogenous.
175
00:07:10,977 --> 00:07:12,186
-I can confirm that.
-(BELL RINGING)
176
00:07:12,270 --> 00:07:14,856
Okay, cuddlers,
find a new cuddlee.
177
00:07:14,939 --> 00:07:17,441
Uh, oh, man,
this is Cuddle Club.
178
00:07:17,525 --> 00:07:18,985
How many more times?
No crossbows.
179
00:07:19,068 --> 00:07:20,653
Doug, we booked this room
for combat training.
180
00:07:20,736 --> 00:07:21,904
(DOUG SCOFFS)
181
00:07:21,988 --> 00:07:23,656
Hard cheese, Combat Mary,
we've got an extended booking.
182
00:07:23,739 --> 00:07:25,950
Oh, I'll extend your face
with my extended arm.
183
00:07:26,033 --> 00:07:27,618
-No, we--
-Ah.
184
00:07:27,702 --> 00:07:28,828
Captain in the hug zone.
185
00:07:28,911 --> 00:07:30,163
(PASSENGERS WHISPERING)
186
00:07:30,246 --> 00:07:31,873
ALL: Fly true,
Supreme Commander.
187
00:07:31,956 --> 00:07:32,999
At ease, everyone.
188
00:07:33,082 --> 00:07:35,084
Uh, don't listen to him.
More tense, everyone.
189
00:07:35,168 --> 00:07:36,711
Someone needs
to go to Manners Club.
190
00:07:36,794 --> 00:07:38,421
Yeah, I-- I went
to Manners Club.
191
00:07:38,504 --> 00:07:41,090
That's where I learned,
"Please and fuck you."
192
00:07:41,174 --> 00:07:42,466
(QUIET GASPS)
193
00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:45,887
Well, this-- this is wonderful,
seeing you all clumped together
194
00:07:45,970 --> 00:07:48,014
-like wet sugar.
-(IRIS SCOFFS)
195
00:07:48,097 --> 00:07:52,310
It reminds us that-- that
togetherness is way forwardness.
196
00:07:52,393 --> 00:07:53,895
Wise words, Supreme Dipshit.
197
00:07:53,978 --> 00:07:56,689
Matt, will you stop it?
This-- this is serious.
198
00:07:56,772 --> 00:07:58,065
This is Cuddle Club.
199
00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:01,277
In fact, I think Matt
could do with a cuddle,
200
00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,696
-don't you think?
He should be the first.
-(PASSENGERS CHUCKLE)
201
00:08:03,779 --> 00:08:05,656
I hereby declare this club open.
202
00:08:05,740 --> 00:08:10,494
(APPLAUSE)
203
00:08:10,578 --> 00:08:12,538
RYAN: (QUIETLY) If Matt's
gonna keep cutting me off
204
00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,749
at the ankles, someone needs
to do something about him.
205
00:08:14,832 --> 00:08:15,917
DOUG: Okay, everyone.
206
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,211
Continue
your therapeutic manhandling.
207
00:08:18,294 --> 00:08:20,379
MATT: Hi. I don't think
we've previously cuddled.
208
00:08:20,463 --> 00:08:24,550
Oh, double cuddle. Okay.
Triple cuddle. (LAUGHS) Wow.
209
00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:27,053
-♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(MATT WHEEZES)
210
00:08:27,136 --> 00:08:30,264
♪ (SERENE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
211
00:08:30,348 --> 00:08:34,185
Looking at you,
I can smell your pain.
212
00:08:34,936 --> 00:08:36,604
But can you smell my heart?
213
00:08:38,981 --> 00:08:41,275
-♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪
-I'm sorry,
I'm not feeling this at all.
214
00:08:41,359 --> 00:08:42,443
-(BELL RINGING)
-Why? What's wrong?
215
00:08:42,526 --> 00:08:44,153
Well, it's just not erotic,
is it?
216
00:08:44,237 --> 00:08:45,613
I mean,
can we get him shirtless?
217
00:08:45,696 --> 00:08:48,574
Could somebody unwrap him?
Anybody, just unwrap him.
218
00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,910
Look, I'm not a piece of meat.
219
00:08:50,993 --> 00:08:53,829
-No, honestly, you are.
-For fuck's sake.
220
00:08:53,913 --> 00:08:55,623
And can we get rid
of this fucking box?
221
00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,042
Keep the box.
222
00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:03,714
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
223
00:09:03,798 --> 00:09:05,466
-My king.
-My queen.
224
00:09:05,549 --> 00:09:07,301
-(ELENA CHUCKLES)
-Plus one.
225
00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:09,971
Yes, yes, hadn't forgotten
about you, Charles.
226
00:09:10,054 --> 00:09:11,097
What are you, actually?
227
00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:14,725
Uh, partner's partner.
So that's... "quartner"?
228
00:09:14,809 --> 00:09:16,477
Anyway, we're all people.
229
00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:17,812
Quite a lot of people,
aren't we,
230
00:09:17,895 --> 00:09:19,939
when you think about it.
I-- I just wonder if this
231
00:09:20,022 --> 00:09:22,149
whole situation could do
with some clarifying.
232
00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:23,567
Captain Ryan.
233
00:09:23,651 --> 00:09:26,696
Sorry to interrupt your ménage,
but I thought you should know
234
00:09:26,779 --> 00:09:29,198
Matt has been hurt
at Cuddle Club.
235
00:09:29,282 --> 00:09:30,533
How do you get hurt
236
00:09:30,616 --> 00:09:33,160
in a club exclusively devoted
to cuddling?
237
00:09:33,244 --> 00:09:34,787
You told people
to deal with him,
238
00:09:34,870 --> 00:09:36,622
so he got violently compressed.
239
00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:39,292
Well, just find the culprits
and have a word with them.
240
00:09:39,375 --> 00:09:41,919
Uh, no, that sounds
like code for violence too.
241
00:09:42,003 --> 00:09:43,713
All right, well, I better go
and... (INHALES)
242
00:09:43,796 --> 00:09:45,339
...pay Matt a special visit.
243
00:09:45,423 --> 00:09:47,925
Hey, I've done it again.
I've got Mafia Tourette's.
244
00:09:48,009 --> 00:09:49,760
To be continued.
245
00:09:49,844 --> 00:09:55,099
Imagine if we got, like,
five million grams of lithium
246
00:09:55,182 --> 00:09:56,684
and we saved Earth.
247
00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:59,854
And they made us gods,
obviously.
248
00:09:59,937 --> 00:10:03,399
So that people would say,
"Judd help us all,"
249
00:10:03,482 --> 00:10:06,319
or, "For Judd's sake,
tidy up your room, Christopher.
250
00:10:06,402 --> 00:10:08,321
I'm not gonna ask you again.
251
00:10:08,404 --> 00:10:10,239
Daddy's gonna beat the Judd
out of you."
252
00:10:10,323 --> 00:10:12,241
What are you doing down here,
Mr. Judd?
253
00:10:12,325 --> 00:10:13,868
Oh, I um,
I forgot the password
254
00:10:13,951 --> 00:10:14,952
for my panic room,
255
00:10:15,036 --> 00:10:16,412
so I figured this might make
a good backup.
256
00:10:16,495 --> 00:10:18,748
Have you set a time
to speak to Lucas yet?
257
00:10:18,831 --> 00:10:23,002
Hmm? Oh, yeah, 9:00 tonight.
And what if they built, like,
258
00:10:23,085 --> 00:10:25,671
a fuck-off gold statue of me?
259
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,965
Yeah, that'd be cool.
So, nine o'clock tonight?
260
00:10:28,049 --> 00:10:30,718
And I lived in the statue
261
00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:34,680
and my bedroom was in the eye
of the gold statue.
262
00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:38,225
Right, with a spiral staircase
going all the way up the spine.
263
00:10:38,309 --> 00:10:40,186
Why are you
getting into this, Billie?
264
00:10:40,269 --> 00:10:42,021
So um, are you sure that Lucas
265
00:10:42,104 --> 00:10:44,106
is actually gonna negotiate
with you tonight?
266
00:10:44,190 --> 00:10:45,399
JUDD: Oh, absolutely.
267
00:10:45,483 --> 00:10:48,694
Great, because I was really
just wondering if I could sit in
268
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:52,531
-and I could learn from your...
-(PLAYS HARMONICA)
269
00:10:52,615 --> 00:10:55,493
-...mastery.
-You can be my penumbra.
270
00:10:55,576 --> 00:10:57,370
'Cause that's
what penumbra means.
271
00:10:58,037 --> 00:10:59,121
I'd love that.
272
00:11:00,414 --> 00:11:01,374
(EXHALES)
273
00:11:01,457 --> 00:11:02,792
IRIS KIMURA:
Matt pushed your reputation
274
00:11:02,875 --> 00:11:04,627
face down in a cow pat
in Cuddle Club.
275
00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:06,253
Oh, he was just
letting off steam.
276
00:11:06,337 --> 00:11:07,671
Well, steam burns.
277
00:11:07,755 --> 00:11:10,299
Steam is an enemy
to flesh and creases.
278
00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:12,468
Do we have to have this on
everywhere?
279
00:11:12,551 --> 00:11:14,637
It's like watching
your own colonoscopy.
280
00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,014
People are having cosplay
viewing parties.
281
00:11:17,098 --> 00:11:19,642
(GASPS) Oh, you should host one.
You're already in the costume.
282
00:11:19,725 --> 00:11:21,352
I'd rather host
my own immolation.
283
00:11:21,435 --> 00:11:22,520
You'd look friendly.
284
00:11:22,603 --> 00:11:25,064
Uncle Ryan Clark,
never mind the gulags.
285
00:11:25,147 --> 00:11:27,650
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC
PLAYING OVER TV) ♪
286
00:11:27,733 --> 00:11:30,736
-Navigation is down.
-We may die out here.
287
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:33,864
That's fine. I never lived
before I met you.
288
00:11:33,948 --> 00:11:35,533
Well, they can't write women.
289
00:11:35,616 --> 00:11:37,868
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
290
00:11:37,952 --> 00:11:39,453
I'm sorry, Captain Ryan.
291
00:11:39,537 --> 00:11:41,997
We need you to be a hero
one more time.
292
00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:43,999
That is some shaky dialogue.
293
00:11:44,083 --> 00:11:46,335
Dialogue fell out
of the back of a dog.
294
00:11:46,419 --> 00:11:47,628
Activate, goddammit!
295
00:11:47,711 --> 00:11:50,965
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
296
00:11:51,048 --> 00:11:53,092
(SCOFFS)
Even her thumb is stupid.
297
00:11:54,718 --> 00:11:56,053
Do you want me
to get rid of her?
298
00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:57,346
'Cause I can do that,
apparently.
299
00:11:57,430 --> 00:11:58,347
(PASSENGERS MURMURING)
300
00:11:58,431 --> 00:12:00,182
Uh, it was a joke.
No, no, it was a joke.
301
00:12:00,808 --> 00:12:01,851
PHILIP: Zara?
302
00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:04,812
Zara, you here?
303
00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:08,482
Zara? (SIGHS) What is she...?
304
00:12:09,608 --> 00:12:12,361
-Oh, hi. Uh-huh.
-PHILIP: Oh. Hey.
305
00:12:12,445 --> 00:12:14,238
Why have you called me here
after wrap?
306
00:12:14,321 --> 00:12:15,865
Did you want to run lines, or...
307
00:12:16,699 --> 00:12:17,658
Well, actually,
308
00:12:17,741 --> 00:12:19,201
I'd quite like to block
the spacewalk,
309
00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:21,954
because it's a very technically
demanding scene for me.
310
00:12:22,037 --> 00:12:23,998
Look, it's--
it's just another kiss,
311
00:12:24,081 --> 00:12:25,958
-all right?
-It's not just a kiss.
312
00:12:26,041 --> 00:12:27,460
Not with me.
313
00:12:27,543 --> 00:12:30,045
-Oh, God, I completely forgot.
-Mm?
314
00:12:30,129 --> 00:12:32,006
You're reenacting
your own sister's tragic death
315
00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:33,299
-by airlock.
-Yeah.
316
00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:36,510
Good for you. I mean, awful.
Also, absolute award bait.
317
00:12:36,594 --> 00:12:40,181
Yeah. I was thinking
about making it quite moving.
318
00:12:40,264 --> 00:12:42,349
Because in reality--
I mean, all she did really
319
00:12:42,433 --> 00:12:43,934
was just step back like--
320
00:12:44,018 --> 00:12:46,145
(SCREAMS) Fuck!
321
00:12:46,228 --> 00:12:47,771
-(BODY THUDS)
-Oh, shit.
322
00:12:50,608 --> 00:12:53,110
Zara? You okay?
323
00:12:53,194 --> 00:12:54,487
♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
324
00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:57,781
Djopi Downer for you.
TV favorite Zara
325
00:12:57,865 --> 00:13:00,993
is now too dead
to play her dead sister.
326
00:13:01,744 --> 00:13:02,995
Let's all miss her.
327
00:13:03,078 --> 00:13:05,331
♪ (MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
328
00:13:05,414 --> 00:13:06,790
I'M NOT SHOUTING:
It's Zara's universe,
329
00:13:06,874 --> 00:13:09,543
and we're all just living in it.
Except her.
330
00:13:09,627 --> 00:13:11,253
VIOLENT HAT MAKER:
I named my dog Zara,
331
00:13:11,337 --> 00:13:12,505
so now I have to kill it.
332
00:13:12,588 --> 00:13:13,714
MOUSY TONGUE: I want her hair.
333
00:13:13,797 --> 00:13:16,133
Now she's dead
she doesn't need it. LOL.
334
00:13:16,217 --> 00:13:19,553
CARWONTSTART: I hope she prepaid
for her funeral. My mom didn't.
335
00:13:19,637 --> 00:13:22,556
VAMPIREOMBUDSMAN: I once saw her
in a restaurant eating a fish.
336
00:13:23,557 --> 00:13:24,850
INCELBYDATE: Got no words.
337
00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,394
Shouldn't have sent
this message.
338
00:13:27,478 --> 00:13:30,022
COMMENTER 1: She's explaining
science to the angels now.
339
00:13:30,105 --> 00:13:31,732
Oh, God. Can we kill that?
340
00:13:31,815 --> 00:13:33,067
Sick of looking at it.
341
00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:34,276
PASSENGER:
Turn it off, turn it off!
342
00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:35,694
COMMENTER 2: She was killed
by a fatal floor.
343
00:13:35,778 --> 00:13:37,780
-♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪
-Sweet relief. Am I right?
344
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,866
DEVON: Feel better, Matt.
345
00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:43,285
Oh, no.
He's come to finish the job!
346
00:13:45,996 --> 00:13:50,167
(MUFFLED) Oh, Matt,
I am beyond sorry.
347
00:13:50,251 --> 00:13:53,420
Well, I'm not beyond sorry.
I'm still in sorry. But...
348
00:13:53,504 --> 00:13:54,922
the far end of it, I'm--
349
00:13:55,005 --> 00:13:59,176
-You ordered me squeezed.
-No, didn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't.
350
00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:01,095
-Thank you.
-Yeah. Right.
351
00:14:01,178 --> 00:14:03,097
-What?
-Look at me.
352
00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:06,475
I'm a dissident.
Wounded in a-- a turf war.
353
00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:09,228
A blood feud.
I'm like that haughty bitch
354
00:14:09,311 --> 00:14:11,146
who tried to fuck up A.S. Byatt.
355
00:14:11,230 --> 00:14:13,732
-You mean Margaret Drabble?
-You're a Drabbler?
356
00:14:13,816 --> 00:14:15,943
-(CHUCKLES)
-You love Madge-Drabs?
357
00:14:16,026 --> 00:14:20,489
Super fan. Dark Flood Rises...
it's one of my favorite books.
358
00:14:20,573 --> 00:14:22,700
I lost my virginity
to the audiobook.
359
00:14:22,783 --> 00:14:25,077
-I love knowing that.
-I can't believe that
360
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,954
all this time
we had this special bond
361
00:14:27,037 --> 00:14:28,664
and we didn't even
know about it.
362
00:14:28,747 --> 00:14:30,249
I mean, it's like
we're two princesses
363
00:14:30,332 --> 00:14:33,085
and neither one of us can sleep
on a hard pea.
364
00:14:34,628 --> 00:14:36,088
How much have they got you on?
365
00:14:36,171 --> 00:14:39,466
Whoa, that is quite a lot. Yeah.
(INHALES)
366
00:14:39,550 --> 00:14:41,552
Well, look, Matt, it's...
367
00:14:41,635 --> 00:14:45,139
Why don't we just put
all this shitty hurt behind us?
368
00:14:45,222 --> 00:14:46,432
I would like that, sister.
369
00:14:46,515 --> 00:14:48,058
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
370
00:14:48,142 --> 00:14:50,352
All right, mandatory smiles,
everyone. Smile right now.
371
00:14:50,436 --> 00:14:53,355
-Smile. Hold these.
-RYAN: Matt,
372
00:14:54,064 --> 00:14:55,107
handshake.
373
00:14:55,190 --> 00:14:56,525
(CAMERA CLICKING)
374
00:14:56,609 --> 00:14:58,485
I promise you,
no-- no electric shocks,
375
00:14:58,569 --> 00:14:59,695
no neural toxins.
376
00:14:59,778 --> 00:15:01,697
-(PASSENGERS CHUCKLE AWKWARDLY)
-(IRIS LAUGHS LOUDLY)
377
00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:03,324
MATT: Well...
378
00:15:03,407 --> 00:15:04,575
-(BOLT SLASHING)
-(GASPS)
379
00:15:04,658 --> 00:15:05,909
(PASSENGERS GASP)
380
00:15:05,993 --> 00:15:08,537
-MATT: Oh.
-RYAN: Oh.
381
00:15:08,621 --> 00:15:11,999
-Ah... ah...
-Oh, motherfucker.
382
00:15:12,082 --> 00:15:13,792
Somebody put these in water.
383
00:15:13,876 --> 00:15:15,961
-They're plastic.
-MATT: (GROANS) Fuck.
384
00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:18,631
-(GROANS)
-PASSENGER: It was Ryan!
385
00:15:18,714 --> 00:15:21,050
No, no, no, that wasn't me.
That was-- that--
386
00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:22,885
-♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-(GROANS)
387
00:15:22,968 --> 00:15:24,303
The crossbow killer's
right there!
388
00:15:24,386 --> 00:15:26,347
-(PASSENGERS SCREAM)
-SPIKE MARTIN:
That's not a killer.
389
00:15:26,430 --> 00:15:27,598
Matt's not dead.
390
00:15:27,681 --> 00:15:29,850
Somebody do something.
We should take him to a hosp--
391
00:15:29,933 --> 00:15:30,976
Oh, no, no, we're already there.
392
00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,686
SPIKE: It's a crossbow
on a spaceship.
393
00:15:32,770 --> 00:15:35,814
It always happens.
Here, I-- I've got you.
394
00:15:35,898 --> 00:15:37,399
-Spike, this hurts...
-Here we go...
395
00:15:37,483 --> 00:15:39,193
...as much as
it looks like it hurts!
396
00:15:39,276 --> 00:15:40,110
(PASSENGERS GASPING)
397
00:15:40,194 --> 00:15:41,320
Oh, I remember,
you don't pull it.
398
00:15:41,403 --> 00:15:42,696
You push it through
to the other side.
399
00:15:42,780 --> 00:15:45,157
-Okay. (GROANS)
-SPIKE: It's gonna
sting a little.
400
00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,367
(SCREAMS)
401
00:15:46,450 --> 00:15:49,078
♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
402
00:15:49,161 --> 00:15:50,954
RYAN: Thought you were in charge
of security.
403
00:15:51,038 --> 00:15:53,874
How could you allow
a drive-by crossbowing?
404
00:15:53,957 --> 00:15:57,002
You said you wanted
to "organize something" for him.
405
00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:58,921
Yes, organize a-- a gathering.
406
00:15:59,004 --> 00:16:02,216
A celebration with a big
"sorry we crossed you" card.
407
00:16:02,299 --> 00:16:04,510
Uh, not super urgent, but, um--
408
00:16:04,593 --> 00:16:06,303
See, this is how it goes
with autocracies.
409
00:16:06,387 --> 00:16:08,055
It starts out,
and it's all caviar
410
00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:09,723
and wiping your ass
on a swan's neck,
411
00:16:09,807 --> 00:16:12,226
and then pretty soon,
you're perforating dissidents.
412
00:16:12,309 --> 00:16:13,727
-Yes, what is it?
-RAV: We're not gonna cancel
413
00:16:13,811 --> 00:16:15,854
the TV Avenue 5 viewing party,
are we?
414
00:16:15,938 --> 00:16:19,525
Uh... (EXHALES) No, I'll go
and I'll cheer the passengers up
415
00:16:19,608 --> 00:16:21,402
with the lithium news,
and they can wash it down
416
00:16:21,485 --> 00:16:23,195
with a complimentary glass
of eel juice.
417
00:16:23,278 --> 00:16:25,239
Yes, it'll be fun. Lithi-fun.
418
00:16:25,322 --> 00:16:28,909
Okay, well, uh,
you won't regret this.
419
00:16:28,992 --> 00:16:32,413
You will. But it's done.
I've issued a ship-wide dictum.
420
00:16:32,496 --> 00:16:34,957
No passengers to dress up
as you out of respect.
421
00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,626
No! You see, Iris,
these are the actions
422
00:16:37,710 --> 00:16:38,836
of a dictator.
423
00:16:38,919 --> 00:16:40,587
People can come dressed as me
if they like.
424
00:16:40,671 --> 00:16:43,090
I-- I want you to make
that very clear.
425
00:16:43,799 --> 00:16:45,092
I might even go casual,
426
00:16:45,175 --> 00:16:46,760
certainly make me
more approachable.
427
00:16:46,844 --> 00:16:48,637
Although if anyone
approaches me, stop them.
428
00:16:48,721 --> 00:16:49,847
♪ (MUSIC PINGS) ♪
429
00:16:49,930 --> 00:16:51,807
IRIS: (OVER SPEAKERS)
If you want a good time tonight
430
00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:53,684
at the fun viewing party,
by all means,
431
00:16:53,767 --> 00:16:55,144
dress as Commander Ryan.
432
00:16:55,227 --> 00:16:58,439
That's all passengers
as Commander Ryan.
433
00:16:58,522 --> 00:17:00,232
♪ (STATELY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
434
00:17:00,315 --> 00:17:03,193
KAREN: Honey,
it's out of my control.
435
00:17:03,277 --> 00:17:05,320
It's Captain's orders.
436
00:17:05,404 --> 00:17:08,198
And God only knows
what you're capable of.
437
00:17:09,825 --> 00:17:12,661
He. What-- (CLEARS THROAT)
What he's capable of.
438
00:17:13,871 --> 00:17:17,583
(SIGHS) Is it hot in here?
I feel hot.
439
00:17:17,666 --> 00:17:21,670
-I just don't feel comfortable.
-KAREN: Well, good. Use that.
440
00:17:21,754 --> 00:17:23,964
It'll help you feel
more British.
441
00:17:24,047 --> 00:17:27,134
You know? Just imagine
from the age of three
442
00:17:27,217 --> 00:17:29,803
that you only saw your parents
at Christmas,
443
00:17:29,887 --> 00:17:32,598
and that you have teeth
like Stonehenge.
444
00:17:32,681 --> 00:17:34,349
(IN COCKNEY ACCENT)
'Ello, darlin'!
445
00:17:34,433 --> 00:17:36,059
Show us your Beefeater.
446
00:17:36,143 --> 00:17:38,645
Oh, okay, no. Just, no.
447
00:17:38,729 --> 00:17:41,899
If you can't talk British,
just stay silent.
448
00:17:41,982 --> 00:17:45,027
Like the people they subjugated.
Let's just...
449
00:17:46,278 --> 00:17:48,947
fix those epaulettes.
450
00:17:49,031 --> 00:17:51,867
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪
451
00:17:51,950 --> 00:17:55,287
Can I apologize again
for both trying to pull out
452
00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:58,081
and then push further back in
the crossbow bolt?
453
00:17:58,165 --> 00:17:59,291
I was in over my head.
454
00:17:59,374 --> 00:18:00,793
MADS:
Everyone's favorite target!
455
00:18:00,876 --> 00:18:03,045
Bullseye dude! How do you feel?
456
00:18:03,128 --> 00:18:05,047
MATT: Well,
they ran out of painkillers,
457
00:18:05,130 --> 00:18:07,508
so I'm in horrendous pain.
458
00:18:07,591 --> 00:18:10,302
Right, right. But remember,
pain is all...
459
00:18:10,385 --> 00:18:13,013
Think beyond the pain.
People love you now.
460
00:18:13,096 --> 00:18:15,182
Like, maybe that crossbow
was fired
461
00:18:15,265 --> 00:18:18,185
by a kind of Nordic god
of public relations.
462
00:18:18,268 --> 00:18:21,188
-What?
-It was me. I shot you.
463
00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:24,107
You shot him,
you goddamn Euromaniac?
464
00:18:24,191 --> 00:18:25,442
-What? To help him.
-SPIKE: Wha--
465
00:18:25,526 --> 00:18:28,237
MADS: He's charismatic now.
He's got a big following.
466
00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,490
-You shot me for the numbers?
-What's wrong with pamphlets?
467
00:18:31,573 --> 00:18:34,326
Also, the Cuddle Club?
I gave the signal to initiate
468
00:18:34,409 --> 00:18:35,494
the terminal cuddle.
469
00:18:35,577 --> 00:18:37,663
Oh, you John Wilkes Booth
motherfucker.
470
00:18:37,746 --> 00:18:39,039
People hated your guts
471
00:18:39,122 --> 00:18:40,999
until I shot a crossbow
into them.
472
00:18:41,083 --> 00:18:43,460
You should thank me.
You should kiss my asshole.
473
00:18:43,544 --> 00:18:46,547
-I'm a genius, actually.
-You're crazy.
474
00:18:46,630 --> 00:18:47,840
-(ZIPPER FASTENING)
-Oh!
475
00:18:47,923 --> 00:18:49,007
MATT: Oh boy.
476
00:18:49,091 --> 00:18:50,968
Oh. Uh, you know,
I can't take grapes in here,
477
00:18:51,051 --> 00:18:52,135
but a crossbow is fine.
478
00:18:52,219 --> 00:18:55,430
I may be crazy,
but you are a disappointment.
479
00:18:55,514 --> 00:18:57,558
-First Judd, now you.
-(GRUNTS)
480
00:18:57,641 --> 00:18:59,601
Everyone I follow becomes weak.
481
00:18:59,685 --> 00:19:02,229
Listen, I was going
to shoot you again,
482
00:19:02,312 --> 00:19:05,399
but I'm not going to.
You don't deserve my bolts.
483
00:19:05,732 --> 00:19:06,733
Phony!
484
00:19:09,611 --> 00:19:10,779
Okay.
485
00:19:10,863 --> 00:19:13,532
Couple of red flags there,
behavior-wise.
486
00:19:13,615 --> 00:19:16,994
-♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-WAITRESS: Here you go, sir.
487
00:19:17,703 --> 00:19:19,955
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
488
00:19:20,038 --> 00:19:22,583
PASSENGER 1:
He's here! Ryan's here!
489
00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:26,753
ALL: Fly true,
Supreme Commander!
490
00:19:27,254 --> 00:19:28,714
Oh, Christ.
491
00:19:28,797 --> 00:19:31,049
It's a gangbang
of doppelgängers.
492
00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:33,468
IRIS: No, look,
there's a TV Judd and Doug.
493
00:19:33,552 --> 00:19:36,263
Uh, sorry, we didn't mean
to disrespect you, sir.
494
00:19:36,346 --> 00:19:38,265
We liked you the first time
you were a Captain.
495
00:19:38,348 --> 00:19:40,309
Yeah, that's why we voted
for you the second time.
496
00:19:40,392 --> 00:19:42,269
Oh, no, no, you voted
for Nathan.
497
00:19:42,352 --> 00:19:44,229
Uh, only in the ballot sense.
498
00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:45,939
In-- in my heart,
I voted for you.
499
00:19:46,023 --> 00:19:47,941
Also, in my heart,
I am dressed as you.
500
00:19:48,025 --> 00:19:49,109
And I thought it was Halloween.
501
00:19:49,192 --> 00:19:50,819
I thought it was like
a Halloween situation,
502
00:19:50,903 --> 00:19:54,239
so I came as Iris,
'cause she's a monster.
503
00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:55,991
Please don't shoot me
like you did Matt.
504
00:19:56,074 --> 00:19:59,745
I didn't shoot Matt.
No, I like Matt.
505
00:19:59,828 --> 00:20:01,914
I don't like Matt.
I respect--
506
00:20:03,165 --> 00:20:05,375
Well, I wouldn't hurt him.
I would not hurt Matt.
507
00:20:05,459 --> 00:20:07,628
No, he got someone else
to do it for him.
508
00:20:07,711 --> 00:20:10,047
-(PASSENGERS GASP)
-RYAN: No, I did not!
509
00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:11,673
Look, I'm not gonna
murder anyone.
510
00:20:11,757 --> 00:20:13,926
I couldn't give two shits
for murder.
511
00:20:14,009 --> 00:20:15,177
-(PASSENGERS GASPING)
-He doesn't care
512
00:20:15,260 --> 00:20:16,720
that someone tried
to murder Matt.
513
00:20:16,803 --> 00:20:17,930
LUCY: And Zara!
514
00:20:18,013 --> 00:20:19,598
PASSENGER 2:
Watch your backs, heathens.
515
00:20:19,681 --> 00:20:21,099
Crucifix coming through.
516
00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:24,186
Oh, Christ.
517
00:20:24,269 --> 00:20:27,940
-Actually, literally.
-I am Ryan, King of the Eels.
518
00:20:28,023 --> 00:20:30,776
Forgive me for I know not
what the fuck I do.
519
00:20:30,859 --> 00:20:32,903
MADS: Oh, hello. I'm Matt
520
00:20:32,986 --> 00:20:35,447
and I'd rather be in pain
than in power.
521
00:20:35,530 --> 00:20:39,117
Look, everyone,
can we just smile and laugh?
522
00:20:39,201 --> 00:20:40,243
This is a party.
523
00:20:40,327 --> 00:20:42,955
We're gonna have fun,
even if it kills us.
524
00:20:43,038 --> 00:20:44,623
(PASSENGERS MUTTERING)
525
00:20:44,706 --> 00:20:46,959
-PASSENGER 3: We're having fun!
-PASSENGER 4: This is
so much fun.
526
00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:48,627
Can't believe
everyone's scared of me.
527
00:20:48,710 --> 00:20:50,671
Congratulations.
Feels good, right?
528
00:20:52,214 --> 00:20:53,674
Did Judd pay you to do this?
529
00:20:53,757 --> 00:20:56,134
No, I thought I'd wear an outfit
that you'd like to get me out of
530
00:20:56,218 --> 00:20:57,135
as quickly as possible.
531
00:20:57,219 --> 00:20:59,680
-Ugh.
-And I have no imagination,
532
00:20:59,763 --> 00:21:02,099
so I copied her.
Don't shoot me.
533
00:21:02,182 --> 00:21:04,685
(CHUCKLES) Ryan. Ryan.
534
00:21:04,768 --> 00:21:06,645
(WHISPERING)
Thank you, Captain Buzzkill.
535
00:21:06,728 --> 00:21:09,064
I'm portraying Ryan
in his truest form.
536
00:21:09,147 --> 00:21:10,440
Carrying all of our sins
537
00:21:10,524 --> 00:21:11,775
while dressed
like a weekend gigolo.
538
00:21:11,858 --> 00:21:13,986
Well, like the Bible,
you're upsetting
a lot of people,
539
00:21:14,069 --> 00:21:16,238
so just dial it down tonally.
540
00:21:16,321 --> 00:21:19,700
Something about that uniform
turns him into a big cat.
541
00:21:19,783 --> 00:21:21,326
-IRIS: I don't see it.
-KAREN: Really?
542
00:21:21,410 --> 00:21:23,912
I mean, look at those cuffs. Mm.
543
00:21:25,455 --> 00:21:28,959
Wow, a little more of this uh,
lady gravy,
544
00:21:29,042 --> 00:21:31,670
and we might just break
our eight-year drought.
545
00:21:35,215 --> 00:21:36,842
I want to show her
I don't need her.
546
00:21:36,925 --> 00:21:39,761
You know,
I can be Judd and Iris.
547
00:21:39,845 --> 00:21:42,097
Yeah. I spent ages
on my Sarah costume
548
00:21:42,180 --> 00:21:43,265
and then she died,
549
00:21:43,348 --> 00:21:45,183
and so I don't know
if it's touching or offensive.
550
00:21:45,267 --> 00:21:46,810
No, corpseplay is hot.
551
00:21:46,893 --> 00:21:48,353
And it's better
than staying dressed
552
00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:50,689
as a lonely mechanic, right?
553
00:21:50,772 --> 00:21:53,066
Okay, observe the master.
554
00:21:53,150 --> 00:21:55,527
NARRATOR:
Previously on Avenue 5...
555
00:21:55,610 --> 00:21:57,738
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
556
00:21:57,821 --> 00:22:00,365
No, this can't be right.
557
00:22:00,449 --> 00:22:03,035
When I drink, the demons
don't sound quite so loud.
558
00:22:03,118 --> 00:22:05,203
-(SOBBING) I'm sorry.
-Yeah.
559
00:22:05,287 --> 00:22:06,580
Well, sorry just won't cut it!
560
00:22:06,663 --> 00:22:08,957
Whatever God you believe in,
you better hope
561
00:22:09,041 --> 00:22:11,293
-they're in a good mood.
-(ENGINE FIRES)
562
00:22:11,376 --> 00:22:13,462
SPIKE: Billie,
I found another dot.
563
00:22:13,545 --> 00:22:14,921
-(PANTING)
-What?
564
00:22:15,005 --> 00:22:16,840
A big missile
heading right for us.
565
00:22:16,923 --> 00:22:18,592
I tho-- I thought
it was a floater.
566
00:22:18,675 --> 00:22:19,968
-It's not a floater.
-What?
567
00:22:20,052 --> 00:22:21,845
Nice. These motherfuckers.
568
00:22:21,928 --> 00:22:23,597
It's like a game of poker
with these guys.
569
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,099
-What the fuck?
-JUDD: All right.
570
00:22:26,183 --> 00:22:28,060
-Lucas, my man.
-BILLIE: Wait!
571
00:22:28,143 --> 00:22:31,480
Little birdie tells me
you launched a missile at us.
572
00:22:31,563 --> 00:22:32,939
Yeah,
it's a big fuck off missile
573
00:22:33,023 --> 00:22:34,816
that's traveling at
600 miles per hour.
574
00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:36,359
Watch this. Well,
575
00:22:36,443 --> 00:22:38,487
you may want to turn
that bad boy around,
576
00:22:38,570 --> 00:22:40,614
here's the moment,
because we just found
577
00:22:40,697 --> 00:22:42,783
an asteroid
full of a juicy little element
578
00:22:42,866 --> 00:22:44,409
we like to call lithium.
579
00:22:44,493 --> 00:22:45,952
LUCAS SATO: Horseshit.
Where is it?
580
00:22:46,036 --> 00:22:48,205
Here comes the clincher.
How 'bout I tell you
581
00:22:48,288 --> 00:22:50,749
after you turn
that missile around, Lucas?
582
00:22:50,832 --> 00:22:53,251
Well, I can't.
There's just no override.
583
00:22:53,335 --> 00:22:55,378
Yeah, I mean, we would have
installed a device,
584
00:22:55,462 --> 00:22:57,339
but uh, we're out of lithium.
585
00:22:57,422 --> 00:22:59,925
And now we go along
with the ruse.
586
00:23:00,008 --> 00:23:01,510
(CHUCKLES) Oh, sure.
587
00:23:01,593 --> 00:23:04,304
So the missile
"can't be stopped,"
588
00:23:04,387 --> 00:23:05,931
and we're "all gonna die."
589
00:23:06,014 --> 00:23:07,849
Yeah. Without the stupid--
590
00:23:07,933 --> 00:23:09,518
Were you making
air quotation marks?
591
00:23:09,601 --> 00:23:11,520
-Sounded like you were.
-Really?
592
00:23:11,603 --> 00:23:12,687
LUCAS: Yeah.
593
00:23:14,314 --> 00:23:16,108
Maybe don't--
don't watch this part.
594
00:23:17,859 --> 00:23:19,945
Hey, Lucas, uh, is this for--
595
00:23:20,028 --> 00:23:21,613
Are you being
for real right now?
596
00:23:21,696 --> 00:23:24,407
Yeah. Yeah, the missile
is uh, it's unstoppable,
597
00:23:24,491 --> 00:23:26,493
and it will detonate on impact
598
00:23:26,576 --> 00:23:29,788
and annihilate every single
molecule of the ship.
599
00:23:29,871 --> 00:23:31,123
-(SIGHS)
-Oh.
600
00:23:31,206 --> 00:23:32,749
So, how about
you just give me the location
601
00:23:32,833 --> 00:23:34,626
-of the asteroid?
-How about this?
602
00:23:34,709 --> 00:23:37,420
I hope that that asteroid
smashes into the planet
603
00:23:37,504 --> 00:23:39,256
and annihilates
every single life form
604
00:23:39,339 --> 00:23:40,841
except for you,
and then you live
605
00:23:40,924 --> 00:23:43,552
an additional 50 years
and die of an asshole infection!
606
00:23:43,635 --> 00:23:45,595
-No, no, no. (LAUGHS)
-That's what I hope!
607
00:23:45,679 --> 00:23:48,515
Lucas, Lucas, why don't we just
pretend he doesn't exist.
608
00:23:48,598 --> 00:23:50,642
One of my
favorite hobbies, actually.
609
00:23:50,725 --> 00:23:52,060
Um, what are the coordinates
610
00:23:52,144 --> 00:23:54,646
of this miss--
What the fuck did you just do?
611
00:23:55,772 --> 00:23:56,857
♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV) ♪
612
00:23:56,940 --> 00:23:59,442
TV RYAN: I had
the nightmare again, Mr. Judd.
613
00:23:59,526 --> 00:24:01,987
-Same one as always.
-KAREN: Ryan...
614
00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:04,614
want to make a break for it?
615
00:24:04,698 --> 00:24:07,284
TV RYAN: I was being murdered
in space.
616
00:24:07,367 --> 00:24:10,745
My room, now.
Frank won't be back for hours.
617
00:24:10,829 --> 00:24:12,122
Only this time,
618
00:24:12,914 --> 00:24:14,166
it wasn't a nightmare.
619
00:24:16,418 --> 00:24:17,627
It was a dream.
620
00:24:17,711 --> 00:24:20,797
I want you to lock the door
and swear at me in British.
621
00:24:20,881 --> 00:24:23,258
Swear at me
like I owe you money.
622
00:24:28,638 --> 00:24:31,600
-(ALARM BLARING)
-Anomaly detected, Captain.
623
00:24:31,683 --> 00:24:34,269
-♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
-The light. It's getting bigger.
624
00:24:34,352 --> 00:24:36,771
-(BREATHES HEAVILY)
-Captain, we have incoming.
625
00:24:36,855 --> 00:24:39,232
-What kind of incoming?
-Captain, it's a missile.
626
00:24:39,316 --> 00:24:40,692
I love y--
627
00:24:40,775 --> 00:24:43,695
(EXPLOSION BOOMS)
628
00:24:43,778 --> 00:24:45,197
(ALL GASP)
629
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:46,364
PASSENGER 5:
What is this madness?
630
00:24:46,448 --> 00:24:49,868
-(CONFUSED MUTTERING)
-PASSENGER 6: Oh, no!
631
00:24:49,951 --> 00:24:50,952
What?
632
00:24:52,287 --> 00:24:53,413
What just happened?
633
00:24:53,496 --> 00:24:56,458
I believe the old industry term
is a "reverse Soprano."
634
00:24:56,541 --> 00:25:00,378
-They're all definitely dead.
-Wow. Well, that's a wrap.
635
00:25:00,462 --> 00:25:03,381
Any chance this is, you know,
just a dream sequence?
636
00:25:03,465 --> 00:25:05,175
NARRATOR:
Dedicated to those who died
637
00:25:05,258 --> 00:25:06,259
on the real Avenue 5
638
00:25:06,343 --> 00:25:07,844
in the tragic
terrorist missile strike.
639
00:25:07,928 --> 00:25:10,764
-(PASSENGERS GASP)
-IRIS: Guess I don't have
final cut after all.
640
00:25:10,847 --> 00:25:12,557
(PASSENGERS MUTTERING)
641
00:25:12,641 --> 00:25:15,101
Oh, my God. We're all dead!
642
00:25:15,185 --> 00:25:17,729
All right, everybody, calm down,
calm down.
643
00:25:17,812 --> 00:25:21,399
There is no missile.
This-- this is TV writers
644
00:25:21,483 --> 00:25:22,776
desperate to get an award.
645
00:25:22,859 --> 00:25:26,279
Okay, there is, in fact,
a real missile. (PANTS)
646
00:25:26,363 --> 00:25:28,240
-And that's code for--
-BILLIE: No, no, no code.
647
00:25:28,323 --> 00:25:30,533
That is some kind of cover up
for the fact
648
00:25:30,617 --> 00:25:34,037
that there is a real missile
coming for this real ship.
649
00:25:34,537 --> 00:25:36,706
Yeah, mm-hmm.
650
00:25:36,790 --> 00:25:39,417
-Fuck. I gotta go.
-MADS: Goodbye, Fake Jesus.
651
00:25:39,501 --> 00:25:40,919
Don't come back in three days.
652
00:25:41,002 --> 00:25:44,297
No. No, guys.
Those are just visual effects.
653
00:25:44,381 --> 00:25:46,132
I know that
because I work in VFX.
654
00:25:46,216 --> 00:25:49,928
Um, I may have fucked the pooch.
655
00:25:50,011 --> 00:25:52,264
So, I just want to say
I'm sorry.
656
00:25:52,347 --> 00:25:53,890
Tomorrow will be better.
657
00:25:53,974 --> 00:25:56,893
Although it does include
a missile.
658
00:25:56,977 --> 00:26:01,314
No. No, no, no. Before we die,
I got one thing to tell you.
659
00:26:01,398 --> 00:26:04,150
I've been fake respecting you.
There are dead eel skins
660
00:26:04,234 --> 00:26:06,319
at the bottom of that tank
that I have more respect for
661
00:26:06,403 --> 00:26:10,240
than you, you narcissistic
little bulb of nothing.
662
00:26:10,323 --> 00:26:12,867
She was great
in the negotiations, by the way.
663
00:26:12,951 --> 00:26:14,035
-Really led it.
-I--
664
00:26:14,744 --> 00:26:16,538
What's the plan?
665
00:26:16,621 --> 00:26:20,125
The plan is we have
to control the panic.
666
00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:22,585
Iris, in spite of
what I said to you,
667
00:26:22,669 --> 00:26:24,838
I assume
there is a secret police force.
668
00:26:24,921 --> 00:26:27,007
♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪
669
00:26:27,090 --> 00:26:28,842
Round up the usual panickers.
670
00:26:29,551 --> 00:26:31,303
Operation Harvest is go.
671
00:26:33,305 --> 00:26:35,849
(PASSENGERS CLAMORING)
672
00:26:35,932 --> 00:26:38,476
And don't shoot anybody
with a crossbow.
673
00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,728
Unless...
674
00:26:40,895 --> 00:26:42,230
No, do what you must.
675
00:26:42,897 --> 00:26:44,524
Come on! Go!
676
00:26:44,607 --> 00:26:46,359
(PASSENGERS CLAMOR)
677
00:26:46,443 --> 00:26:48,737
-PASSENGER 7:
I haven't done anything wrong!
-(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
678
00:26:48,820 --> 00:26:55,744
♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪
679
00:27:44,376 --> 00:27:46,211
♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪