1 00:00:06,010 --> 00:00:11,683 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 2 00:00:13,184 --> 00:00:16,271 Uh, and you have coffee with the ship's imam at 10. 3 00:00:16,354 --> 00:00:18,606 Then the cleaning crew want to gift you 4 00:00:18,690 --> 00:00:20,984 -with some new pillows. -RYAN CLARK: Excellent. 5 00:00:21,067 --> 00:00:24,028 My memory foam ones have developed dementia. 6 00:00:24,112 --> 00:00:27,365 Uh, then the Avenue 5 Brass Band want to play for you, 7 00:00:27,449 --> 00:00:30,952 -and then gift you a tuba. -Can we un-gift it? 8 00:00:31,035 --> 00:00:33,747 -Fly safe. -Fly true, Supreme Commander! 9 00:00:33,830 --> 00:00:38,042 Yes. Heil me. Supreme Commander. What if I get used to this? 10 00:00:38,126 --> 00:00:39,711 Respectfully, you should. 11 00:00:39,794 --> 00:00:41,921 Striding about like a Dutch hairdresser 12 00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:44,132 -who killed someone once. -RAV MULCAIR: Um, at noon, 13 00:00:44,215 --> 00:00:46,509 could you officially open the ship's Cuddle Club? 14 00:00:46,593 --> 00:00:48,303 -Cuddle Club? -Mm, yeah, a group of passengers 15 00:00:48,386 --> 00:00:50,138 have put it together as some sort of group therapy. 16 00:00:50,221 --> 00:00:51,681 -RYAN: Sit down. -It's totally non-sexual. 17 00:00:51,765 --> 00:00:53,057 And totally non-normal. 18 00:00:53,141 --> 00:00:54,267 For goodness' sake. 19 00:00:54,350 --> 00:00:56,561 What's wrong with a good old-fashioned frosty handshake? 20 00:00:56,644 --> 00:00:59,814 Look at Iris suffocating him like a horny praying mantis. 21 00:00:59,898 --> 00:01:01,816 BILLIE MCEVOY: Yeah, Ryan could do a shit right now 22 00:01:01,900 --> 00:01:03,318 and all these passengers would line up 23 00:01:03,401 --> 00:01:05,862 -to take a selfie with it. -And at one o'clock, 24 00:01:05,945 --> 00:01:07,697 you're meeting with Theater Action. 25 00:01:07,781 --> 00:01:09,616 -♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES) ♪ -Can we un-action that? 26 00:01:09,699 --> 00:01:11,326 Actually, un-theater it, preferably. 27 00:01:11,409 --> 00:01:13,536 -Fuck you, Supreme Commander. -Fly true, Supreme Commander. 28 00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:15,914 How did we end up with him in charge twice? 29 00:01:15,997 --> 00:01:16,956 Tell me about it. 30 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:19,209 BILLIE: He is not worthy of your ship. 31 00:01:20,919 --> 00:01:23,463 I don't know why, but I find you very interesting right now. 32 00:01:23,546 --> 00:01:25,799 -Hmm. -You speak from the heart. 33 00:01:30,053 --> 00:01:31,137 (RAV CLEARS THROAT) 34 00:01:31,221 --> 00:01:32,972 I hate to be the bearer of bad news. 35 00:01:33,056 --> 00:01:34,516 And I hate hearing it. 36 00:01:34,599 --> 00:01:36,226 Feels like there's a solution in there somewhere. 37 00:01:36,309 --> 00:01:38,102 -PASSENGER: Commander. -Well, rumors are-- Hi. 38 00:01:38,186 --> 00:01:42,065 (WHISPERS) Rumors are spreading that the water is contaminated. 39 00:01:42,148 --> 00:01:46,236 You see, this is why people should never, ever talk. 40 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:49,155 RAV: Mm, agreed, but conversation is inevitable. 41 00:01:49,239 --> 00:01:51,783 Which is why I'd like to install some operatives. 42 00:01:51,866 --> 00:01:54,661 What do you mean, operatives? You mean secret police? 43 00:01:54,744 --> 00:01:56,538 I hesitate to use the term "secret police." 44 00:01:56,621 --> 00:01:58,540 Well, you didn't hesitate very long. 45 00:01:58,623 --> 00:02:00,542 -Matt is-- -Highly problematic. 46 00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:03,795 No, no. We are not having secret police. 47 00:02:03,878 --> 00:02:05,296 That is my final decision. 48 00:02:05,380 --> 00:02:08,174 Decree. But fine, I won't appoint any. 49 00:02:08,258 --> 00:02:10,218 You say that, Iris, but will you? 50 00:02:10,301 --> 00:02:12,011 MATT SPENCER: Soon we'll be at each other's throats. 51 00:02:12,095 --> 00:02:13,388 -Do you want that? -FOLLOWERS: No! 52 00:02:13,471 --> 00:02:15,390 -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -When brother fights brother 53 00:02:15,473 --> 00:02:18,977 for the moisture that he's wrung from a hand towel, 54 00:02:19,060 --> 00:02:21,104 will Lyin' Ryan be there to save you? 55 00:02:21,187 --> 00:02:22,939 -FOLLOWERS: No! -MATT: No, he won't, 56 00:02:23,022 --> 00:02:25,567 but we'll be there, because we've got ammo. 57 00:02:25,650 --> 00:02:26,734 (FOLLOWERS MUTTER) 58 00:02:26,818 --> 00:02:28,111 -We've got camo. -FOLLOWERS: Yes! 59 00:02:28,194 --> 00:02:30,196 -We are ready to go... -FOLLOWERS: Blammo! 60 00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:33,741 -Blammo! -(FOLLOWERS YELLING) 61 00:02:33,825 --> 00:02:36,536 Oh, what is this intoxicating clarity? 62 00:02:36,619 --> 00:02:39,038 -(YELLING) Yeah! -(FOLLOWERS CHEER) 63 00:02:39,122 --> 00:02:44,294 ♪ ("AVENUE 5" THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 64 00:02:49,424 --> 00:02:51,759 Seeing some sweet cuddles out there, guys. 65 00:02:51,843 --> 00:02:53,720 Really nice. 66 00:02:53,803 --> 00:02:56,890 Some nice swaying cuddles. Comforting. 67 00:02:56,973 --> 00:02:58,099 Tap your cuddler's head 68 00:02:58,182 --> 00:03:00,560 if you want your cuddle to end early. 69 00:03:01,603 --> 00:03:04,939 Otherwise, just surrender 70 00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:07,442 like a calf in the butcher's embrace. 71 00:03:09,611 --> 00:03:10,570 (BELL RINGS) 72 00:03:10,653 --> 00:03:12,697 All right, there's time to chug a few more hugs 73 00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:14,282 before our Supreme Commander gets here 74 00:03:14,365 --> 00:03:16,868 and declares our spoon room open. 75 00:03:16,951 --> 00:03:18,411 KAREN KELLY: Will he be cuddling? 76 00:03:18,494 --> 00:03:20,663 -DOUG: If he consents. -Oh, please. 77 00:03:20,747 --> 00:03:22,540 If he's here, he's asking for it. 78 00:03:22,624 --> 00:03:25,376 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 79 00:03:25,460 --> 00:03:26,669 All good out there? 80 00:03:26,753 --> 00:03:28,588 I mean, considering how bad it is? 81 00:03:28,671 --> 00:03:31,257 RAV: Let's just say the mood on the ship is uh, 82 00:03:31,341 --> 00:03:34,302 pre-post-apocalyptic. What-- what is that dot? 83 00:03:34,385 --> 00:03:36,304 Oh, God, you saw it, too, huh? 84 00:03:36,387 --> 00:03:37,680 (SIGHS) I get these floaters. 85 00:03:37,764 --> 00:03:39,015 -(KEYBOARD CLACKING) -(COMPUTER BEEPS) 86 00:03:39,098 --> 00:03:42,143 Oh, hold the phone, that's not macular degeneration. 87 00:03:43,811 --> 00:03:45,313 That's a meteor. 88 00:03:45,396 --> 00:03:47,815 A compass, but instead of telling you 89 00:03:47,899 --> 00:03:49,609 where you are, it tells you when you are. 90 00:03:50,735 --> 00:03:53,321 -So-- so, like a clock? -No, way better. 91 00:03:53,404 --> 00:03:55,573 -Way better than a clock. -Yeah. 92 00:03:55,657 --> 00:03:57,825 That is just genius. 93 00:03:57,909 --> 00:04:01,329 So-- so, were you thinking about talking to Lucas yet? 94 00:04:01,412 --> 00:04:03,998 You know, get the rescue back on track? 95 00:04:04,082 --> 00:04:07,710 Artificially made twins to serve unwanted jail time. 96 00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:09,963 Smart. You know, 97 00:04:10,046 --> 00:04:12,924 it's just if you did want some help with Lucas, 98 00:04:13,007 --> 00:04:15,468 then I could set a time and date for the meeting, 99 00:04:15,551 --> 00:04:18,137 or even if you wanted, I could help lead the meeting. 100 00:04:18,221 --> 00:04:20,682 Oh, that's so sweet, but fuck no. 101 00:04:20,765 --> 00:04:23,351 Only top CEOs can negotiate government policy. 102 00:04:23,434 --> 00:04:24,686 That's just how democracy works. 103 00:04:24,769 --> 00:04:28,189 And I'm a top CEO, so... (SLURPS) ...suck it, Ryan. 104 00:04:28,272 --> 00:04:29,857 BILLIE: Yeah, suck it, Ryan. 105 00:04:29,941 --> 00:04:31,651 RYAN: I believe we booked this room. 106 00:04:31,734 --> 00:04:33,861 -Hey, Ryan. -We've commandeered it. 107 00:04:33,945 --> 00:04:34,988 Commandeered. Exactly. 108 00:04:35,071 --> 00:04:36,656 You're in breach of protocol. Stand. 109 00:04:36,739 --> 00:04:37,699 -BILLIE: Oh. -Sit. 110 00:04:37,782 --> 00:04:40,159 Stand and leave, or face the consequences. 111 00:04:40,243 --> 00:04:43,037 I'm gonna leave 'cause I was planning on leaving anyway. 112 00:04:43,121 --> 00:04:44,372 But I'm not gonna stand. 113 00:04:45,248 --> 00:04:46,958 Excited to see this process. 114 00:04:52,005 --> 00:04:53,089 -(GRUNTS) -(CHAIR THUDS) 115 00:04:53,172 --> 00:04:54,799 -(LAUGHS, SQUEALS) -HERMAN JUDD: Oh, thank fuck. 116 00:04:54,882 --> 00:04:57,176 Rav saves the day. 117 00:04:57,260 --> 00:04:58,720 Rav is speaking in the third person 118 00:04:58,803 --> 00:04:59,887 because she is modest, 119 00:04:59,971 --> 00:05:02,473 and because she has also discovered a meteor 120 00:05:02,557 --> 00:05:03,891 full of lithium. 121 00:05:03,975 --> 00:05:05,893 I'm gonna stand now, only because I want to see what's on there. 122 00:05:05,977 --> 00:05:07,562 Billie, understand that for me, will you? 123 00:05:09,439 --> 00:05:11,399 Eighty-five percent lithium ore? 124 00:05:11,482 --> 00:05:13,901 But this is like pure heroin lithium. 125 00:05:13,985 --> 00:05:17,155 -Heroin's good, right? -Earth is gagging for lithium. 126 00:05:17,238 --> 00:05:19,824 We can get them to reprioritize a rescue. 127 00:05:19,907 --> 00:05:22,368 So, we just need to start negotiating with Lucas. 128 00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,996 No, that's incorrect. Only CEOs can negotiate 129 00:05:25,079 --> 00:05:27,206 with TOTOPOTUS. You, however, 130 00:05:27,290 --> 00:05:29,876 are authorized to, um... (SLURPS) 131 00:05:29,959 --> 00:05:31,836 -...suck it. -BILLIE: Yeah! 132 00:05:31,919 --> 00:05:35,048 CEOs only, Captain Cockrag. 133 00:05:35,548 --> 00:05:36,591 Wow. 134 00:05:36,674 --> 00:05:39,010 Right, I-- Yes, I'm gonna need to clear the room, 135 00:05:39,093 --> 00:05:42,221 so that I can berate Billie for gross insubordination. 136 00:05:42,305 --> 00:05:44,766 -Good. A larynx is a privilege. -JUDD: I'm gonna leave 137 00:05:44,849 --> 00:05:47,101 because I choose to clear the room. 138 00:05:47,185 --> 00:05:49,771 Not because you literally just said the words. 139 00:05:49,854 --> 00:05:52,982 (DOOR SLIDING OPEN) 140 00:05:53,066 --> 00:05:55,109 Yeah, well, what do you want? 141 00:05:55,193 --> 00:05:56,527 What do you mean, what do I want? 142 00:05:56,611 --> 00:05:57,737 What do you want? 143 00:05:57,820 --> 00:06:00,448 Billie, we agreed, you insult me, I clear the room. 144 00:06:00,531 --> 00:06:03,743 -I'm sorry, I forgot. -What do you mean you forgot? 145 00:06:03,826 --> 00:06:06,954 So where did "Captain Cockrag" come from? Was that heartfelt? 146 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:10,249 Oh, no-- no. I just-- 147 00:06:10,333 --> 00:06:12,085 You know, I'm not-- I'm not very good at this-- 148 00:06:12,168 --> 00:06:13,753 -Talking? -Improvisation. 149 00:06:13,836 --> 00:06:16,839 You have to be with Judd when he talks to Lucas. 150 00:06:16,923 --> 00:06:18,925 Well, yes, yes, and we'd be getting into that 151 00:06:19,008 --> 00:06:20,802 if you hadn't just sent him out the room. 152 00:06:20,885 --> 00:06:22,095 Well, I did that 153 00:06:22,178 --> 00:06:24,597 because you called me Captain Cockrag. 154 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:25,807 Well, was I wrong? 155 00:06:25,890 --> 00:06:27,683 I don't know. I don't know what a cockrag is. 156 00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:29,852 Just be there when he talks to Lucas. 157 00:06:29,936 --> 00:06:32,313 BILLIE: Yes, I will be. I have his ear. 158 00:06:32,396 --> 00:06:33,439 RYAN: Fuck his ear. 159 00:06:33,523 --> 00:06:34,649 It's his mouth you need to control. 160 00:06:34,732 --> 00:06:41,447 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 161 00:06:41,531 --> 00:06:43,658 If Ryan is king, I'm Oliver Cromwell, right? 162 00:06:43,741 --> 00:06:44,617 (FOLLOWERS CHEER) 163 00:06:44,700 --> 00:06:46,410 If he's Gladstone, I'm Disraeli. 164 00:06:46,494 --> 00:06:47,620 (SCATTERED CHEER) 165 00:06:47,703 --> 00:06:50,164 If he's A.S. Byatt, I'm Margaret Drabble! 166 00:06:50,248 --> 00:06:51,582 Compare things we know! 167 00:06:51,666 --> 00:06:52,917 Eh, never been a big sports fan. 168 00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,127 MATT: Well, they're not sports stars. 169 00:06:54,210 --> 00:06:57,213 They're sister novelists who feuded like rappers. 170 00:06:57,296 --> 00:07:00,091 I'm still without a frame of reference. 171 00:07:00,174 --> 00:07:03,719 -Ryan's an asshole, right? -(FOLLOWERS CHEER) 172 00:07:03,803 --> 00:07:06,222 KAREN: Remember, you may pat and caress 173 00:07:06,305 --> 00:07:08,182 all non-erogenous zones. 174 00:07:08,266 --> 00:07:10,893 At this point, my entire body is non-erogenous. 175 00:07:10,977 --> 00:07:12,186 -I can confirm that. -(BELL RINGING) 176 00:07:12,270 --> 00:07:14,856 Okay, cuddlers, find a new cuddlee. 177 00:07:14,939 --> 00:07:17,441 Uh, oh, man, this is Cuddle Club. 178 00:07:17,525 --> 00:07:18,985 How many more times? No crossbows. 179 00:07:19,068 --> 00:07:20,653 Doug, we booked this room for combat training. 180 00:07:20,736 --> 00:07:21,904 (DOUG SCOFFS) 181 00:07:21,988 --> 00:07:23,656 Hard cheese, Combat Mary, we've got an extended booking. 182 00:07:23,739 --> 00:07:25,950 Oh, I'll extend your face with my extended arm. 183 00:07:26,033 --> 00:07:27,618 -No, we-- -Ah. 184 00:07:27,702 --> 00:07:28,828 Captain in the hug zone. 185 00:07:28,911 --> 00:07:30,163 (PASSENGERS WHISPERING) 186 00:07:30,246 --> 00:07:31,873 ALL: Fly true, Supreme Commander. 187 00:07:31,956 --> 00:07:32,999 At ease, everyone. 188 00:07:33,082 --> 00:07:35,084 Uh, don't listen to him. More tense, everyone. 189 00:07:35,168 --> 00:07:36,711 Someone needs to go to Manners Club. 190 00:07:36,794 --> 00:07:38,421 Yeah, I-- I went to Manners Club. 191 00:07:38,504 --> 00:07:41,090 That's where I learned, "Please and fuck you." 192 00:07:41,174 --> 00:07:42,466 (QUIET GASPS) 193 00:07:42,550 --> 00:07:45,887 Well, this-- this is wonderful, seeing you all clumped together 194 00:07:45,970 --> 00:07:48,014 -like wet sugar. -(IRIS SCOFFS) 195 00:07:48,097 --> 00:07:52,310 It reminds us that-- that togetherness is way forwardness. 196 00:07:52,393 --> 00:07:53,895 Wise words, Supreme Dipshit. 197 00:07:53,978 --> 00:07:56,689 Matt, will you stop it? This-- this is serious. 198 00:07:56,772 --> 00:07:58,065 This is Cuddle Club. 199 00:07:59,150 --> 00:08:01,277 In fact, I think Matt could do with a cuddle, 200 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:03,696 -don't you think? He should be the first. -(PASSENGERS CHUCKLE) 201 00:08:03,779 --> 00:08:05,656 I hereby declare this club open. 202 00:08:05,740 --> 00:08:10,494 (APPLAUSE) 203 00:08:10,578 --> 00:08:12,538 RYAN: (QUIETLY) If Matt's gonna keep cutting me off 204 00:08:12,622 --> 00:08:14,749 at the ankles, someone needs to do something about him. 205 00:08:14,832 --> 00:08:15,917 DOUG: Okay, everyone. 206 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,211 Continue your therapeutic manhandling. 207 00:08:18,294 --> 00:08:20,379 MATT: Hi. I don't think we've previously cuddled. 208 00:08:20,463 --> 00:08:24,550 Oh, double cuddle. Okay. Triple cuddle. (LAUGHS) Wow. 209 00:08:24,634 --> 00:08:27,053 -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(MATT WHEEZES) 210 00:08:27,136 --> 00:08:30,264 ♪ (SERENE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 211 00:08:30,348 --> 00:08:34,185 Looking at you, I can smell your pain. 212 00:08:34,936 --> 00:08:36,604 But can you smell my heart? 213 00:08:38,981 --> 00:08:41,275 -♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪ -I'm sorry, I'm not feeling this at all. 214 00:08:41,359 --> 00:08:42,443 -(BELL RINGING) -Why? What's wrong? 215 00:08:42,526 --> 00:08:44,153 Well, it's just not erotic, is it? 216 00:08:44,237 --> 00:08:45,613 I mean, can we get him shirtless? 217 00:08:45,696 --> 00:08:48,574 Could somebody unwrap him? Anybody, just unwrap him. 218 00:08:48,658 --> 00:08:50,910 Look, I'm not a piece of meat. 219 00:08:50,993 --> 00:08:53,829 -No, honestly, you are. -For fuck's sake. 220 00:08:53,913 --> 00:08:55,623 And can we get rid of this fucking box? 221 00:08:56,666 --> 00:08:58,042 Keep the box. 222 00:08:59,669 --> 00:09:03,714 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 223 00:09:03,798 --> 00:09:05,466 -My king. -My queen. 224 00:09:05,549 --> 00:09:07,301 -(ELENA CHUCKLES) -Plus one. 225 00:09:07,385 --> 00:09:09,971 Yes, yes, hadn't forgotten about you, Charles. 226 00:09:10,054 --> 00:09:11,097 What are you, actually? 227 00:09:11,180 --> 00:09:14,725 Uh, partner's partner. So that's... "quartner"? 228 00:09:14,809 --> 00:09:16,477 Anyway, we're all people. 229 00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:17,812 Quite a lot of people, aren't we, 230 00:09:17,895 --> 00:09:19,939 when you think about it. I-- I just wonder if this 231 00:09:20,022 --> 00:09:22,149 whole situation could do with some clarifying. 232 00:09:22,233 --> 00:09:23,567 Captain Ryan. 233 00:09:23,651 --> 00:09:26,696 Sorry to interrupt your ménage, but I thought you should know 234 00:09:26,779 --> 00:09:29,198 Matt has been hurt at Cuddle Club. 235 00:09:29,282 --> 00:09:30,533 How do you get hurt 236 00:09:30,616 --> 00:09:33,160 in a club exclusively devoted to cuddling? 237 00:09:33,244 --> 00:09:34,787 You told people to deal with him, 238 00:09:34,870 --> 00:09:36,622 so he got violently compressed. 239 00:09:36,706 --> 00:09:39,292 Well, just find the culprits and have a word with them. 240 00:09:39,375 --> 00:09:41,919 Uh, no, that sounds like code for violence too. 241 00:09:42,003 --> 00:09:43,713 All right, well, I better go and... (INHALES) 242 00:09:43,796 --> 00:09:45,339 ...pay Matt a special visit. 243 00:09:45,423 --> 00:09:47,925 Hey, I've done it again. I've got Mafia Tourette's. 244 00:09:48,009 --> 00:09:49,760 To be continued. 245 00:09:49,844 --> 00:09:55,099 Imagine if we got, like, five million grams of lithium 246 00:09:55,182 --> 00:09:56,684 and we saved Earth. 247 00:09:56,767 --> 00:09:59,854 And they made us gods, obviously. 248 00:09:59,937 --> 00:10:03,399 So that people would say, "Judd help us all," 249 00:10:03,482 --> 00:10:06,319 or, "For Judd's sake, tidy up your room, Christopher. 250 00:10:06,402 --> 00:10:08,321 I'm not gonna ask you again. 251 00:10:08,404 --> 00:10:10,239 Daddy's gonna beat the Judd out of you." 252 00:10:10,323 --> 00:10:12,241 What are you doing down here, Mr. Judd? 253 00:10:12,325 --> 00:10:13,868 Oh, I um, I forgot the password 254 00:10:13,951 --> 00:10:14,952 for my panic room, 255 00:10:15,036 --> 00:10:16,412 so I figured this might make a good backup. 256 00:10:16,495 --> 00:10:18,748 Have you set a time to speak to Lucas yet? 257 00:10:18,831 --> 00:10:23,002 Hmm? Oh, yeah, 9:00 tonight. And what if they built, like, 258 00:10:23,085 --> 00:10:25,671 a fuck-off gold statue of me? 259 00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,965 Yeah, that'd be cool. So, nine o'clock tonight? 260 00:10:28,049 --> 00:10:30,718 And I lived in the statue 261 00:10:30,801 --> 00:10:34,680 and my bedroom was in the eye of the gold statue. 262 00:10:34,764 --> 00:10:38,225 Right, with a spiral staircase going all the way up the spine. 263 00:10:38,309 --> 00:10:40,186 Why are you getting into this, Billie? 264 00:10:40,269 --> 00:10:42,021 So um, are you sure that Lucas 265 00:10:42,104 --> 00:10:44,106 is actually gonna negotiate with you tonight? 266 00:10:44,190 --> 00:10:45,399 JUDD: Oh, absolutely. 267 00:10:45,483 --> 00:10:48,694 Great, because I was really just wondering if I could sit in 268 00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:52,531 -and I could learn from your... -(PLAYS HARMONICA) 269 00:10:52,615 --> 00:10:55,493 -...mastery. -You can be my penumbra. 270 00:10:55,576 --> 00:10:57,370 'Cause that's what penumbra means. 271 00:10:58,037 --> 00:10:59,121 I'd love that. 272 00:11:00,414 --> 00:11:01,374 (EXHALES) 273 00:11:01,457 --> 00:11:02,792 IRIS KIMURA: Matt pushed your reputation 274 00:11:02,875 --> 00:11:04,627 face down in a cow pat in Cuddle Club. 275 00:11:04,710 --> 00:11:06,253 Oh, he was just letting off steam. 276 00:11:06,337 --> 00:11:07,671 Well, steam burns. 277 00:11:07,755 --> 00:11:10,299 Steam is an enemy to flesh and creases. 278 00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:12,468 Do we have to have this on everywhere? 279 00:11:12,551 --> 00:11:14,637 It's like watching your own colonoscopy. 280 00:11:14,720 --> 00:11:17,014 People are having cosplay viewing parties. 281 00:11:17,098 --> 00:11:19,642 (GASPS) Oh, you should host one. You're already in the costume. 282 00:11:19,725 --> 00:11:21,352 I'd rather host my own immolation. 283 00:11:21,435 --> 00:11:22,520 You'd look friendly. 284 00:11:22,603 --> 00:11:25,064 Uncle Ryan Clark, never mind the gulags. 285 00:11:25,147 --> 00:11:27,650 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV) ♪ 286 00:11:27,733 --> 00:11:30,736 -Navigation is down. -We may die out here. 287 00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:33,864 That's fine. I never lived before I met you. 288 00:11:33,948 --> 00:11:35,533 Well, they can't write women. 289 00:11:35,616 --> 00:11:37,868 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 290 00:11:37,952 --> 00:11:39,453 I'm sorry, Captain Ryan. 291 00:11:39,537 --> 00:11:41,997 We need you to be a hero one more time. 292 00:11:42,081 --> 00:11:43,999 That is some shaky dialogue. 293 00:11:44,083 --> 00:11:46,335 Dialogue fell out of the back of a dog. 294 00:11:46,419 --> 00:11:47,628 Activate, goddammit! 295 00:11:47,711 --> 00:11:50,965 (BREATHES HEAVILY) 296 00:11:51,048 --> 00:11:53,092 (SCOFFS) Even her thumb is stupid. 297 00:11:54,718 --> 00:11:56,053 Do you want me to get rid of her? 298 00:11:56,137 --> 00:11:57,346 'Cause I can do that, apparently. 299 00:11:57,430 --> 00:11:58,347 (PASSENGERS MURMURING) 300 00:11:58,431 --> 00:12:00,182 Uh, it was a joke. No, no, it was a joke. 301 00:12:00,808 --> 00:12:01,851 PHILIP: Zara? 302 00:12:03,060 --> 00:12:04,812 Zara, you here? 303 00:12:04,895 --> 00:12:08,482 Zara? (SIGHS) What is she...? 304 00:12:09,608 --> 00:12:12,361 -Oh, hi. Uh-huh. -PHILIP: Oh. Hey. 305 00:12:12,445 --> 00:12:14,238 Why have you called me here after wrap? 306 00:12:14,321 --> 00:12:15,865 Did you want to run lines, or... 307 00:12:16,699 --> 00:12:17,658 Well, actually, 308 00:12:17,741 --> 00:12:19,201 I'd quite like to block the spacewalk, 309 00:12:19,285 --> 00:12:21,954 because it's a very technically demanding scene for me. 310 00:12:22,037 --> 00:12:23,998 Look, it's-- it's just another kiss, 311 00:12:24,081 --> 00:12:25,958 -all right? -It's not just a kiss. 312 00:12:26,041 --> 00:12:27,460 Not with me. 313 00:12:27,543 --> 00:12:30,045 -Oh, God, I completely forgot. -Mm? 314 00:12:30,129 --> 00:12:32,006 You're reenacting your own sister's tragic death 315 00:12:32,089 --> 00:12:33,299 -by airlock. -Yeah. 316 00:12:33,382 --> 00:12:36,510 Good for you. I mean, awful. Also, absolute award bait. 317 00:12:36,594 --> 00:12:40,181 Yeah. I was thinking about making it quite moving. 318 00:12:40,264 --> 00:12:42,349 Because in reality-- I mean, all she did really 319 00:12:42,433 --> 00:12:43,934 was just step back like-- 320 00:12:44,018 --> 00:12:46,145 (SCREAMS) Fuck! 321 00:12:46,228 --> 00:12:47,771 -(BODY THUDS) -Oh, shit. 322 00:12:50,608 --> 00:12:53,110 Zara? You okay? 323 00:12:53,194 --> 00:12:54,487 ♪ (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 324 00:12:54,570 --> 00:12:57,781 Djopi Downer for you. TV favorite Zara 325 00:12:57,865 --> 00:13:00,993 is now too dead to play her dead sister. 326 00:13:01,744 --> 00:13:02,995 Let's all miss her. 327 00:13:03,078 --> 00:13:05,331 ♪ (MELANCHOLIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 328 00:13:05,414 --> 00:13:06,790 I'M NOT SHOUTING: It's Zara's universe, 329 00:13:06,874 --> 00:13:09,543 and we're all just living in it. Except her. 330 00:13:09,627 --> 00:13:11,253 VIOLENT HAT MAKER: I named my dog Zara, 331 00:13:11,337 --> 00:13:12,505 so now I have to kill it. 332 00:13:12,588 --> 00:13:13,714 MOUSY TONGUE: I want her hair. 333 00:13:13,797 --> 00:13:16,133 Now she's dead she doesn't need it. LOL. 334 00:13:16,217 --> 00:13:19,553 CARWONTSTART: I hope she prepaid for her funeral. My mom didn't. 335 00:13:19,637 --> 00:13:22,556 VAMPIREOMBUDSMAN: I once saw her in a restaurant eating a fish. 336 00:13:23,557 --> 00:13:24,850 INCELBYDATE: Got no words. 337 00:13:24,934 --> 00:13:27,394 Shouldn't have sent this message. 338 00:13:27,478 --> 00:13:30,022 COMMENTER 1: She's explaining science to the angels now. 339 00:13:30,105 --> 00:13:31,732 Oh, God. Can we kill that? 340 00:13:31,815 --> 00:13:33,067 Sick of looking at it. 341 00:13:33,150 --> 00:13:34,276 PASSENGER: Turn it off, turn it off! 342 00:13:34,360 --> 00:13:35,694 COMMENTER 2: She was killed by a fatal floor. 343 00:13:35,778 --> 00:13:37,780 -♪ (MUSIC STOPS ABRUPTLY) ♪ -Sweet relief. Am I right? 344 00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:40,866 DEVON: Feel better, Matt. 345 00:13:40,950 --> 00:13:43,285 Oh, no. He's come to finish the job! 346 00:13:45,996 --> 00:13:50,167 (MUFFLED) Oh, Matt, I am beyond sorry. 347 00:13:50,251 --> 00:13:53,420 Well, I'm not beyond sorry. I'm still in sorry. But... 348 00:13:53,504 --> 00:13:54,922 the far end of it, I'm-- 349 00:13:55,005 --> 00:13:59,176 -You ordered me squeezed. -No, didn't. Wouldn't. Couldn't. 350 00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:01,095 -Thank you. -Yeah. Right. 351 00:14:01,178 --> 00:14:03,097 -What? -Look at me. 352 00:14:03,180 --> 00:14:06,475 I'm a dissident. Wounded in a-- a turf war. 353 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:09,228 A blood feud. I'm like that haughty bitch 354 00:14:09,311 --> 00:14:11,146 who tried to fuck up A.S. Byatt. 355 00:14:11,230 --> 00:14:13,732 -You mean Margaret Drabble? -You're a Drabbler? 356 00:14:13,816 --> 00:14:15,943 -(CHUCKLES) -You love Madge-Drabs? 357 00:14:16,026 --> 00:14:20,489 Super fan. Dark Flood Rises... it's one of my favorite books. 358 00:14:20,573 --> 00:14:22,700 I lost my virginity to the audiobook. 359 00:14:22,783 --> 00:14:25,077 -I love knowing that. -I can't believe that 360 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:26,954 all this time we had this special bond 361 00:14:27,037 --> 00:14:28,664 and we didn't even know about it. 362 00:14:28,747 --> 00:14:30,249 I mean, it's like we're two princesses 363 00:14:30,332 --> 00:14:33,085 and neither one of us can sleep on a hard pea. 364 00:14:34,628 --> 00:14:36,088 How much have they got you on? 365 00:14:36,171 --> 00:14:39,466 Whoa, that is quite a lot. Yeah. (INHALES) 366 00:14:39,550 --> 00:14:41,552 Well, look, Matt, it's... 367 00:14:41,635 --> 00:14:45,139 Why don't we just put all this shitty hurt behind us? 368 00:14:45,222 --> 00:14:46,432 I would like that, sister. 369 00:14:46,515 --> 00:14:48,058 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 370 00:14:48,142 --> 00:14:50,352 All right, mandatory smiles, everyone. Smile right now. 371 00:14:50,436 --> 00:14:53,355 -Smile. Hold these. -RYAN: Matt, 372 00:14:54,064 --> 00:14:55,107 handshake. 373 00:14:55,190 --> 00:14:56,525 (CAMERA CLICKING) 374 00:14:56,609 --> 00:14:58,485 I promise you, no-- no electric shocks, 375 00:14:58,569 --> 00:14:59,695 no neural toxins. 376 00:14:59,778 --> 00:15:01,697 -(PASSENGERS CHUCKLE AWKWARDLY) -(IRIS LAUGHS LOUDLY) 377 00:15:01,780 --> 00:15:03,324 MATT: Well... 378 00:15:03,407 --> 00:15:04,575 -(BOLT SLASHING) -(GASPS) 379 00:15:04,658 --> 00:15:05,909 (PASSENGERS GASP) 380 00:15:05,993 --> 00:15:08,537 -MATT: Oh. -RYAN: Oh. 381 00:15:08,621 --> 00:15:11,999 -Ah... ah... -Oh, motherfucker. 382 00:15:12,082 --> 00:15:13,792 Somebody put these in water. 383 00:15:13,876 --> 00:15:15,961 -They're plastic. -MATT: (GROANS) Fuck. 384 00:15:16,045 --> 00:15:18,631 -(GROANS) -PASSENGER: It was Ryan! 385 00:15:18,714 --> 00:15:21,050 No, no, no, that wasn't me. That was-- that-- 386 00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:22,885 -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -(GROANS) 387 00:15:22,968 --> 00:15:24,303 The crossbow killer's right there! 388 00:15:24,386 --> 00:15:26,347 -(PASSENGERS SCREAM) -SPIKE MARTIN: That's not a killer. 389 00:15:26,430 --> 00:15:27,598 Matt's not dead. 390 00:15:27,681 --> 00:15:29,850 Somebody do something. We should take him to a hosp-- 391 00:15:29,933 --> 00:15:30,976 Oh, no, no, we're already there. 392 00:15:31,060 --> 00:15:32,686 SPIKE: It's a crossbow on a spaceship. 393 00:15:32,770 --> 00:15:35,814 It always happens. Here, I-- I've got you. 394 00:15:35,898 --> 00:15:37,399 -Spike, this hurts... -Here we go... 395 00:15:37,483 --> 00:15:39,193 ...as much as it looks like it hurts! 396 00:15:39,276 --> 00:15:40,110 (PASSENGERS GASPING) 397 00:15:40,194 --> 00:15:41,320 Oh, I remember, you don't pull it. 398 00:15:41,403 --> 00:15:42,696 You push it through to the other side. 399 00:15:42,780 --> 00:15:45,157 -Okay. (GROANS) -SPIKE: It's gonna sting a little. 400 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:46,367 (SCREAMS) 401 00:15:46,450 --> 00:15:49,078 ♪ (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 402 00:15:49,161 --> 00:15:50,954 RYAN: Thought you were in charge of security. 403 00:15:51,038 --> 00:15:53,874 How could you allow a drive-by crossbowing? 404 00:15:53,957 --> 00:15:57,002 You said you wanted to "organize something" for him. 405 00:15:57,086 --> 00:15:58,921 Yes, organize a-- a gathering. 406 00:15:59,004 --> 00:16:02,216 A celebration with a big "sorry we crossed you" card. 407 00:16:02,299 --> 00:16:04,510 Uh, not super urgent, but, um-- 408 00:16:04,593 --> 00:16:06,303 See, this is how it goes with autocracies. 409 00:16:06,387 --> 00:16:08,055 It starts out, and it's all caviar 410 00:16:08,138 --> 00:16:09,723 and wiping your ass on a swan's neck, 411 00:16:09,807 --> 00:16:12,226 and then pretty soon, you're perforating dissidents. 412 00:16:12,309 --> 00:16:13,727 -Yes, what is it? -RAV: We're not gonna cancel 413 00:16:13,811 --> 00:16:15,854 the TV Avenue 5 viewing party, are we? 414 00:16:15,938 --> 00:16:19,525 Uh... (EXHALES) No, I'll go and I'll cheer the passengers up 415 00:16:19,608 --> 00:16:21,402 with the lithium news, and they can wash it down 416 00:16:21,485 --> 00:16:23,195 with a complimentary glass of eel juice. 417 00:16:23,278 --> 00:16:25,239 Yes, it'll be fun. Lithi-fun. 418 00:16:25,322 --> 00:16:28,909 Okay, well, uh, you won't regret this. 419 00:16:28,992 --> 00:16:32,413 You will. But it's done. I've issued a ship-wide dictum. 420 00:16:32,496 --> 00:16:34,957 No passengers to dress up as you out of respect. 421 00:16:35,040 --> 00:16:37,626 No! You see, Iris, these are the actions 422 00:16:37,710 --> 00:16:38,836 of a dictator. 423 00:16:38,919 --> 00:16:40,587 People can come dressed as me if they like. 424 00:16:40,671 --> 00:16:43,090 I-- I want you to make that very clear. 425 00:16:43,799 --> 00:16:45,092 I might even go casual, 426 00:16:45,175 --> 00:16:46,760 certainly make me more approachable. 427 00:16:46,844 --> 00:16:48,637 Although if anyone approaches me, stop them. 428 00:16:48,721 --> 00:16:49,847 ♪ (MUSIC PINGS) ♪ 429 00:16:49,930 --> 00:16:51,807 IRIS: (OVER SPEAKERS) If you want a good time tonight 430 00:16:51,890 --> 00:16:53,684 at the fun viewing party, by all means, 431 00:16:53,767 --> 00:16:55,144 dress as Commander Ryan. 432 00:16:55,227 --> 00:16:58,439 That's all passengers as Commander Ryan. 433 00:16:58,522 --> 00:17:00,232 ♪ (STATELY MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 434 00:17:00,315 --> 00:17:03,193 KAREN: Honey, it's out of my control. 435 00:17:03,277 --> 00:17:05,320 It's Captain's orders. 436 00:17:05,404 --> 00:17:08,198 And God only knows what you're capable of. 437 00:17:09,825 --> 00:17:12,661 He. What-- (CLEARS THROAT) What he's capable of. 438 00:17:13,871 --> 00:17:17,583 (SIGHS) Is it hot in here? I feel hot. 439 00:17:17,666 --> 00:17:21,670 -I just don't feel comfortable. -KAREN: Well, good. Use that. 440 00:17:21,754 --> 00:17:23,964 It'll help you feel more British. 441 00:17:24,047 --> 00:17:27,134 You know? Just imagine from the age of three 442 00:17:27,217 --> 00:17:29,803 that you only saw your parents at Christmas, 443 00:17:29,887 --> 00:17:32,598 and that you have teeth like Stonehenge. 444 00:17:32,681 --> 00:17:34,349 (IN COCKNEY ACCENT) 'Ello, darlin'! 445 00:17:34,433 --> 00:17:36,059 Show us your Beefeater. 446 00:17:36,143 --> 00:17:38,645 Oh, okay, no. Just, no. 447 00:17:38,729 --> 00:17:41,899 If you can't talk British, just stay silent. 448 00:17:41,982 --> 00:17:45,027 Like the people they subjugated. Let's just... 449 00:17:46,278 --> 00:17:48,947 fix those epaulettes. 450 00:17:49,031 --> 00:17:51,867 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪ 451 00:17:51,950 --> 00:17:55,287 Can I apologize again for both trying to pull out 452 00:17:55,370 --> 00:17:58,081 and then push further back in the crossbow bolt? 453 00:17:58,165 --> 00:17:59,291 I was in over my head. 454 00:17:59,374 --> 00:18:00,793 MADS: Everyone's favorite target! 455 00:18:00,876 --> 00:18:03,045 Bullseye dude! How do you feel? 456 00:18:03,128 --> 00:18:05,047 MATT: Well, they ran out of painkillers, 457 00:18:05,130 --> 00:18:07,508 so I'm in horrendous pain. 458 00:18:07,591 --> 00:18:10,302 Right, right. But remember, pain is all... 459 00:18:10,385 --> 00:18:13,013 Think beyond the pain. People love you now. 460 00:18:13,096 --> 00:18:15,182 Like, maybe that crossbow was fired 461 00:18:15,265 --> 00:18:18,185 by a kind of Nordic god of public relations. 462 00:18:18,268 --> 00:18:21,188 -What? -It was me. I shot you. 463 00:18:21,271 --> 00:18:24,107 You shot him, you goddamn Euromaniac? 464 00:18:24,191 --> 00:18:25,442 -What? To help him. -SPIKE: Wha-- 465 00:18:25,526 --> 00:18:28,237 MADS: He's charismatic now. He's got a big following. 466 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,490 -You shot me for the numbers? -What's wrong with pamphlets? 467 00:18:31,573 --> 00:18:34,326 Also, the Cuddle Club? I gave the signal to initiate 468 00:18:34,409 --> 00:18:35,494 the terminal cuddle. 469 00:18:35,577 --> 00:18:37,663 Oh, you John Wilkes Booth motherfucker. 470 00:18:37,746 --> 00:18:39,039 People hated your guts 471 00:18:39,122 --> 00:18:40,999 until I shot a crossbow into them. 472 00:18:41,083 --> 00:18:43,460 You should thank me. You should kiss my asshole. 473 00:18:43,544 --> 00:18:46,547 -I'm a genius, actually. -You're crazy. 474 00:18:46,630 --> 00:18:47,840 -(ZIPPER FASTENING) -Oh! 475 00:18:47,923 --> 00:18:49,007 MATT: Oh boy. 476 00:18:49,091 --> 00:18:50,968 Oh. Uh, you know, I can't take grapes in here, 477 00:18:51,051 --> 00:18:52,135 but a crossbow is fine. 478 00:18:52,219 --> 00:18:55,430 I may be crazy, but you are a disappointment. 479 00:18:55,514 --> 00:18:57,558 -First Judd, now you. -(GRUNTS) 480 00:18:57,641 --> 00:18:59,601 Everyone I follow becomes weak. 481 00:18:59,685 --> 00:19:02,229 Listen, I was going to shoot you again, 482 00:19:02,312 --> 00:19:05,399 but I'm not going to. You don't deserve my bolts. 483 00:19:05,732 --> 00:19:06,733 Phony! 484 00:19:09,611 --> 00:19:10,779 Okay. 485 00:19:10,863 --> 00:19:13,532 Couple of red flags there, behavior-wise. 486 00:19:13,615 --> 00:19:16,994 -♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -WAITRESS: Here you go, sir. 487 00:19:17,703 --> 00:19:19,955 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 488 00:19:20,038 --> 00:19:22,583 PASSENGER 1: He's here! Ryan's here! 489 00:19:24,501 --> 00:19:26,753 ALL: Fly true, Supreme Commander! 490 00:19:27,254 --> 00:19:28,714 Oh, Christ. 491 00:19:28,797 --> 00:19:31,049 It's a gangbang of doppelgängers. 492 00:19:31,133 --> 00:19:33,468 IRIS: No, look, there's a TV Judd and Doug. 493 00:19:33,552 --> 00:19:36,263 Uh, sorry, we didn't mean to disrespect you, sir. 494 00:19:36,346 --> 00:19:38,265 We liked you the first time you were a Captain. 495 00:19:38,348 --> 00:19:40,309 Yeah, that's why we voted for you the second time. 496 00:19:40,392 --> 00:19:42,269 Oh, no, no, you voted for Nathan. 497 00:19:42,352 --> 00:19:44,229 Uh, only in the ballot sense. 498 00:19:44,313 --> 00:19:45,939 In-- in my heart, I voted for you. 499 00:19:46,023 --> 00:19:47,941 Also, in my heart, I am dressed as you. 500 00:19:48,025 --> 00:19:49,109 And I thought it was Halloween. 501 00:19:49,192 --> 00:19:50,819 I thought it was like a Halloween situation, 502 00:19:50,903 --> 00:19:54,239 so I came as Iris, 'cause she's a monster. 503 00:19:54,323 --> 00:19:55,991 Please don't shoot me like you did Matt. 504 00:19:56,074 --> 00:19:59,745 I didn't shoot Matt. No, I like Matt. 505 00:19:59,828 --> 00:20:01,914 I don't like Matt. I respect-- 506 00:20:03,165 --> 00:20:05,375 Well, I wouldn't hurt him. I would not hurt Matt. 507 00:20:05,459 --> 00:20:07,628 No, he got someone else to do it for him. 508 00:20:07,711 --> 00:20:10,047 -(PASSENGERS GASP) -RYAN: No, I did not! 509 00:20:10,130 --> 00:20:11,673 Look, I'm not gonna murder anyone. 510 00:20:11,757 --> 00:20:13,926 I couldn't give two shits for murder. 511 00:20:14,009 --> 00:20:15,177 -(PASSENGERS GASPING) -He doesn't care 512 00:20:15,260 --> 00:20:16,720 that someone tried to murder Matt. 513 00:20:16,803 --> 00:20:17,930 LUCY: And Zara! 514 00:20:18,013 --> 00:20:19,598 PASSENGER 2: Watch your backs, heathens. 515 00:20:19,681 --> 00:20:21,099 Crucifix coming through. 516 00:20:22,351 --> 00:20:24,186 Oh, Christ. 517 00:20:24,269 --> 00:20:27,940 -Actually, literally. -I am Ryan, King of the Eels. 518 00:20:28,023 --> 00:20:30,776 Forgive me for I know not what the fuck I do. 519 00:20:30,859 --> 00:20:32,903 MADS: Oh, hello. I'm Matt 520 00:20:32,986 --> 00:20:35,447 and I'd rather be in pain than in power. 521 00:20:35,530 --> 00:20:39,117 Look, everyone, can we just smile and laugh? 522 00:20:39,201 --> 00:20:40,243 This is a party. 523 00:20:40,327 --> 00:20:42,955 We're gonna have fun, even if it kills us. 524 00:20:43,038 --> 00:20:44,623 (PASSENGERS MUTTERING) 525 00:20:44,706 --> 00:20:46,959 -PASSENGER 3: We're having fun! -PASSENGER 4: This is so much fun. 526 00:20:47,042 --> 00:20:48,627 Can't believe everyone's scared of me. 527 00:20:48,710 --> 00:20:50,671 Congratulations. Feels good, right? 528 00:20:52,214 --> 00:20:53,674 Did Judd pay you to do this? 529 00:20:53,757 --> 00:20:56,134 No, I thought I'd wear an outfit that you'd like to get me out of 530 00:20:56,218 --> 00:20:57,135 as quickly as possible. 531 00:20:57,219 --> 00:20:59,680 -Ugh. -And I have no imagination, 532 00:20:59,763 --> 00:21:02,099 so I copied her. Don't shoot me. 533 00:21:02,182 --> 00:21:04,685 (CHUCKLES) Ryan. Ryan. 534 00:21:04,768 --> 00:21:06,645 (WHISPERING) Thank you, Captain Buzzkill. 535 00:21:06,728 --> 00:21:09,064 I'm portraying Ryan in his truest form. 536 00:21:09,147 --> 00:21:10,440 Carrying all of our sins 537 00:21:10,524 --> 00:21:11,775 while dressed like a weekend gigolo. 538 00:21:11,858 --> 00:21:13,986 Well, like the Bible, you're upsetting a lot of people, 539 00:21:14,069 --> 00:21:16,238 so just dial it down tonally. 540 00:21:16,321 --> 00:21:19,700 Something about that uniform turns him into a big cat. 541 00:21:19,783 --> 00:21:21,326 -IRIS: I don't see it. -KAREN: Really? 542 00:21:21,410 --> 00:21:23,912 I mean, look at those cuffs. Mm. 543 00:21:25,455 --> 00:21:28,959 Wow, a little more of this uh, lady gravy, 544 00:21:29,042 --> 00:21:31,670 and we might just break our eight-year drought. 545 00:21:35,215 --> 00:21:36,842 I want to show her I don't need her. 546 00:21:36,925 --> 00:21:39,761 You know, I can be Judd and Iris. 547 00:21:39,845 --> 00:21:42,097 Yeah. I spent ages on my Sarah costume 548 00:21:42,180 --> 00:21:43,265 and then she died, 549 00:21:43,348 --> 00:21:45,183 and so I don't know if it's touching or offensive. 550 00:21:45,267 --> 00:21:46,810 No, corpseplay is hot. 551 00:21:46,893 --> 00:21:48,353 And it's better than staying dressed 552 00:21:48,437 --> 00:21:50,689 as a lonely mechanic, right? 553 00:21:50,772 --> 00:21:53,066 Okay, observe the master. 554 00:21:53,150 --> 00:21:55,527 NARRATOR: Previously on Avenue 5... 555 00:21:55,610 --> 00:21:57,738 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 556 00:21:57,821 --> 00:22:00,365 No, this can't be right. 557 00:22:00,449 --> 00:22:03,035 When I drink, the demons don't sound quite so loud. 558 00:22:03,118 --> 00:22:05,203 -(SOBBING) I'm sorry. -Yeah. 559 00:22:05,287 --> 00:22:06,580 Well, sorry just won't cut it! 560 00:22:06,663 --> 00:22:08,957 Whatever God you believe in, you better hope 561 00:22:09,041 --> 00:22:11,293 -they're in a good mood. -(ENGINE FIRES) 562 00:22:11,376 --> 00:22:13,462 SPIKE: Billie, I found another dot. 563 00:22:13,545 --> 00:22:14,921 -(PANTING) -What? 564 00:22:15,005 --> 00:22:16,840 A big missile heading right for us. 565 00:22:16,923 --> 00:22:18,592 I tho-- I thought it was a floater. 566 00:22:18,675 --> 00:22:19,968 -It's not a floater. -What? 567 00:22:20,052 --> 00:22:21,845 Nice. These motherfuckers. 568 00:22:21,928 --> 00:22:23,597 It's like a game of poker with these guys. 569 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:26,099 -What the fuck? -JUDD: All right. 570 00:22:26,183 --> 00:22:28,060 -Lucas, my man. -BILLIE: Wait! 571 00:22:28,143 --> 00:22:31,480 Little birdie tells me you launched a missile at us. 572 00:22:31,563 --> 00:22:32,939 Yeah, it's a big fuck off missile 573 00:22:33,023 --> 00:22:34,816 that's traveling at 600 miles per hour. 574 00:22:34,900 --> 00:22:36,359 Watch this. Well, 575 00:22:36,443 --> 00:22:38,487 you may want to turn that bad boy around, 576 00:22:38,570 --> 00:22:40,614 here's the moment, because we just found 577 00:22:40,697 --> 00:22:42,783 an asteroid full of a juicy little element 578 00:22:42,866 --> 00:22:44,409 we like to call lithium. 579 00:22:44,493 --> 00:22:45,952 LUCAS SATO: Horseshit. Where is it? 580 00:22:46,036 --> 00:22:48,205 Here comes the clincher. How 'bout I tell you 581 00:22:48,288 --> 00:22:50,749 after you turn that missile around, Lucas? 582 00:22:50,832 --> 00:22:53,251 Well, I can't. There's just no override. 583 00:22:53,335 --> 00:22:55,378 Yeah, I mean, we would have installed a device, 584 00:22:55,462 --> 00:22:57,339 but uh, we're out of lithium. 585 00:22:57,422 --> 00:22:59,925 And now we go along with the ruse. 586 00:23:00,008 --> 00:23:01,510 (CHUCKLES) Oh, sure. 587 00:23:01,593 --> 00:23:04,304 So the missile "can't be stopped," 588 00:23:04,387 --> 00:23:05,931 and we're "all gonna die." 589 00:23:06,014 --> 00:23:07,849 Yeah. Without the stupid-- 590 00:23:07,933 --> 00:23:09,518 Were you making air quotation marks? 591 00:23:09,601 --> 00:23:11,520 -Sounded like you were. -Really? 592 00:23:11,603 --> 00:23:12,687 LUCAS: Yeah. 593 00:23:14,314 --> 00:23:16,108 Maybe don't-- don't watch this part. 594 00:23:17,859 --> 00:23:19,945 Hey, Lucas, uh, is this for-- 595 00:23:20,028 --> 00:23:21,613 Are you being for real right now? 596 00:23:21,696 --> 00:23:24,407 Yeah. Yeah, the missile is uh, it's unstoppable, 597 00:23:24,491 --> 00:23:26,493 and it will detonate on impact 598 00:23:26,576 --> 00:23:29,788 and annihilate every single molecule of the ship. 599 00:23:29,871 --> 00:23:31,123 -(SIGHS) -Oh. 600 00:23:31,206 --> 00:23:32,749 So, how about you just give me the location 601 00:23:32,833 --> 00:23:34,626 -of the asteroid? -How about this? 602 00:23:34,709 --> 00:23:37,420 I hope that that asteroid smashes into the planet 603 00:23:37,504 --> 00:23:39,256 and annihilates every single life form 604 00:23:39,339 --> 00:23:40,841 except for you, and then you live 605 00:23:40,924 --> 00:23:43,552 an additional 50 years and die of an asshole infection! 606 00:23:43,635 --> 00:23:45,595 -No, no, no. (LAUGHS) -That's what I hope! 607 00:23:45,679 --> 00:23:48,515 Lucas, Lucas, why don't we just pretend he doesn't exist. 608 00:23:48,598 --> 00:23:50,642 One of my favorite hobbies, actually. 609 00:23:50,725 --> 00:23:52,060 Um, what are the coordinates 610 00:23:52,144 --> 00:23:54,646 of this miss-- What the fuck did you just do? 611 00:23:55,772 --> 00:23:56,857 ♪ (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING OVER TV) ♪ 612 00:23:56,940 --> 00:23:59,442 TV RYAN: I had the nightmare again, Mr. Judd. 613 00:23:59,526 --> 00:24:01,987 -Same one as always. -KAREN: Ryan... 614 00:24:03,280 --> 00:24:04,614 want to make a break for it? 615 00:24:04,698 --> 00:24:07,284 TV RYAN: I was being murdered in space. 616 00:24:07,367 --> 00:24:10,745 My room, now. Frank won't be back for hours. 617 00:24:10,829 --> 00:24:12,122 Only this time, 618 00:24:12,914 --> 00:24:14,166 it wasn't a nightmare. 619 00:24:16,418 --> 00:24:17,627 It was a dream. 620 00:24:17,711 --> 00:24:20,797 I want you to lock the door and swear at me in British. 621 00:24:20,881 --> 00:24:23,258 Swear at me like I owe you money. 622 00:24:28,638 --> 00:24:31,600 -(ALARM BLARING) -Anomaly detected, Captain. 623 00:24:31,683 --> 00:24:34,269 -♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ -The light. It's getting bigger. 624 00:24:34,352 --> 00:24:36,771 -(BREATHES HEAVILY) -Captain, we have incoming. 625 00:24:36,855 --> 00:24:39,232 -What kind of incoming? -Captain, it's a missile. 626 00:24:39,316 --> 00:24:40,692 I love y-- 627 00:24:40,775 --> 00:24:43,695 (EXPLOSION BOOMS) 628 00:24:43,778 --> 00:24:45,197 (ALL GASP) 629 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:46,364 PASSENGER 5: What is this madness? 630 00:24:46,448 --> 00:24:49,868 -(CONFUSED MUTTERING) -PASSENGER 6: Oh, no! 631 00:24:49,951 --> 00:24:50,952 What? 632 00:24:52,287 --> 00:24:53,413 What just happened? 633 00:24:53,496 --> 00:24:56,458 I believe the old industry term is a "reverse Soprano." 634 00:24:56,541 --> 00:25:00,378 -They're all definitely dead. -Wow. Well, that's a wrap. 635 00:25:00,462 --> 00:25:03,381 Any chance this is, you know, just a dream sequence? 636 00:25:03,465 --> 00:25:05,175 NARRATOR: Dedicated to those who died 637 00:25:05,258 --> 00:25:06,259 on the real Avenue 5 638 00:25:06,343 --> 00:25:07,844 in the tragic terrorist missile strike. 639 00:25:07,928 --> 00:25:10,764 -(PASSENGERS GASP) -IRIS: Guess I don't have final cut after all. 640 00:25:10,847 --> 00:25:12,557 (PASSENGERS MUTTERING) 641 00:25:12,641 --> 00:25:15,101 Oh, my God. We're all dead! 642 00:25:15,185 --> 00:25:17,729 All right, everybody, calm down, calm down. 643 00:25:17,812 --> 00:25:21,399 There is no missile. This-- this is TV writers 644 00:25:21,483 --> 00:25:22,776 desperate to get an award. 645 00:25:22,859 --> 00:25:26,279 Okay, there is, in fact, a real missile. (PANTS) 646 00:25:26,363 --> 00:25:28,240 -And that's code for-- -BILLIE: No, no, no code. 647 00:25:28,323 --> 00:25:30,533 That is some kind of cover up for the fact 648 00:25:30,617 --> 00:25:34,037 that there is a real missile coming for this real ship. 649 00:25:34,537 --> 00:25:36,706 Yeah, mm-hmm. 650 00:25:36,790 --> 00:25:39,417 -Fuck. I gotta go. -MADS: Goodbye, Fake Jesus. 651 00:25:39,501 --> 00:25:40,919 Don't come back in three days. 652 00:25:41,002 --> 00:25:44,297 No. No, guys. Those are just visual effects. 653 00:25:44,381 --> 00:25:46,132 I know that because I work in VFX. 654 00:25:46,216 --> 00:25:49,928 Um, I may have fucked the pooch. 655 00:25:50,011 --> 00:25:52,264 So, I just want to say I'm sorry. 656 00:25:52,347 --> 00:25:53,890 Tomorrow will be better. 657 00:25:53,974 --> 00:25:56,893 Although it does include a missile. 658 00:25:56,977 --> 00:26:01,314 No. No, no, no. Before we die, I got one thing to tell you. 659 00:26:01,398 --> 00:26:04,150 I've been fake respecting you. There are dead eel skins 660 00:26:04,234 --> 00:26:06,319 at the bottom of that tank that I have more respect for 661 00:26:06,403 --> 00:26:10,240 than you, you narcissistic little bulb of nothing. 662 00:26:10,323 --> 00:26:12,867 She was great in the negotiations, by the way. 663 00:26:12,951 --> 00:26:14,035 -Really led it. -I-- 664 00:26:14,744 --> 00:26:16,538 What's the plan? 665 00:26:16,621 --> 00:26:20,125 The plan is we have to control the panic. 666 00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:22,585 Iris, in spite of what I said to you, 667 00:26:22,669 --> 00:26:24,838 I assume there is a secret police force. 668 00:26:24,921 --> 00:26:27,007 ♪ (TENSE MUSIC PLAYING) ♪ 669 00:26:27,090 --> 00:26:28,842 Round up the usual panickers. 670 00:26:29,551 --> 00:26:31,303 Operation Harvest is go. 671 00:26:33,305 --> 00:26:35,849 (PASSENGERS CLAMORING) 672 00:26:35,932 --> 00:26:38,476 And don't shoot anybody with a crossbow. 673 00:26:38,560 --> 00:26:39,728 Unless... 674 00:26:40,895 --> 00:26:42,230 No, do what you must. 675 00:26:42,897 --> 00:26:44,524 Come on! Go! 676 00:26:44,607 --> 00:26:46,359 (PASSENGERS CLAMOR) 677 00:26:46,443 --> 00:26:48,737 -PASSENGER 7: I haven't done anything wrong! -(INDISTINCT SHOUTING) 678 00:26:48,820 --> 00:26:55,744 ♪ (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) ♪ 679 00:27:44,376 --> 00:27:46,211 ♪ (MUSIC CONCLUDES) ♪