1 00:00:00,653 --> 00:00:03,320 (intense music) 2 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 4 00:00:15,271 --> 00:00:18,188 (mysterious music) 5 00:01:04,718 --> 00:01:07,635 (ominous whispers) 6 00:02:26,950 --> 00:02:29,429 (yelling) 7 00:02:29,429 --> 00:02:32,346 (ominous whispers) 8 00:02:41,803 --> 00:02:44,636 (whimsical music) 9 00:02:57,923 --> 00:03:01,423 (relaxing elevator music) 10 00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:23,768 (whimsical music) 11 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,680 - Hey, buddy. 12 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:41,430 What you doing down there? 13 00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,368 - [Man] There's a ghost in my room. 14 00:03:43,368 --> 00:03:44,472 - A ghost. 15 00:03:44,472 --> 00:03:46,067 Great. 16 00:03:46,067 --> 00:03:47,957 You sure it's not your heater? 17 00:03:47,957 --> 00:03:49,437 - [Man] No. 18 00:03:49,437 --> 00:03:50,687 - [Clerk] Sure. 19 00:03:55,456 --> 00:03:59,123 (catchy country rock music) 20 00:04:01,219 --> 00:04:03,207 ♪ Listen ♪ 21 00:04:03,207 --> 00:04:06,868 ♪ When you're all alone ♪ 22 00:04:06,868 --> 00:04:10,607 ♪ And you're far from home ♪ 23 00:04:10,607 --> 00:04:14,117 ♪ If something don't work ♪ 24 00:04:14,117 --> 00:04:17,784 ♪ Ya'll call the desk clerk ♪ 25 00:04:27,070 --> 00:04:30,701 ♪ If you lost your comb ♪ 26 00:04:30,701 --> 00:04:34,483 ♪ Or you're out of cologne ♪ 27 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:38,053 ♪ There's a special perk ♪ 28 00:04:38,053 --> 00:04:41,803 ♪ And if something don't work ♪ 29 00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:45,523 ♪ Go and pick up the phone ♪ 30 00:04:45,523 --> 00:04:49,760 ♪ And you call the desk clerk ♪ 31 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:54,760 ♪ Yeah ♪ 32 00:04:54,997 --> 00:04:58,658 ♪ She's there to serve you ♪ 33 00:04:58,658 --> 00:05:00,739 ♪ And take good care of you ♪ 34 00:05:00,739 --> 00:05:05,739 ♪ Your own desk clerk ♪ 35 00:05:07,790 --> 00:05:09,615 ♪ Get down ♪ 36 00:05:09,615 --> 00:05:13,235 ♪ She's at your beck and call ♪ 37 00:05:13,235 --> 00:05:15,525 ♪ No matter when you call ♪ 38 00:05:15,525 --> 00:05:20,525 ♪ Your own desk clerk ♪ 39 00:05:23,677 --> 00:05:26,179 ♪ Oh, bring us back again ♪ 40 00:05:26,179 --> 00:05:29,749 ♪ When you're on your own ♪ 41 00:05:29,749 --> 00:05:32,357 ♪ And something goes wrong ♪ 42 00:05:32,357 --> 00:05:33,513 - Are you warm enough? 43 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:38,560 - Yep. 44 00:05:38,560 --> 00:05:39,453 Yeah, I'm fine. 45 00:05:40,423 --> 00:05:41,256 - Good. 46 00:05:42,190 --> 00:05:47,180 So, it sounds like you're having some work trouble. 47 00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:49,140 - No, no I quit. 48 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,763 No more trouble for me. 49 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:54,513 - So tell me, what drove you to quit? 50 00:05:55,850 --> 00:05:57,810 - Oh, you know, just being expected 51 00:05:57,810 --> 00:06:00,300 to do the impossible all the time. 52 00:06:00,300 --> 00:06:01,890 They expect me to take care of 53 00:06:01,890 --> 00:06:05,110 every aspect of that hotel by myself, 54 00:06:05,110 --> 00:06:08,223 at night, when all the really crazy people come in. 55 00:06:09,190 --> 00:06:13,390 - So tell me, when did you first start to think 56 00:06:13,390 --> 00:06:16,970 that you might be headed to the ice cream freezer 57 00:06:16,970 --> 00:06:21,453 at the Tasty Mart that the police found you in, hm? 58 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:24,250 - Well, there was this one night 59 00:06:24,250 --> 00:06:26,820 that I really thought I was gonna lose it. 60 00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:29,220 There was a man who thought that the creaking noise 61 00:06:29,220 --> 00:06:31,670 his heater was making was a ghost, 62 00:06:31,670 --> 00:06:34,350 and he ran around the hotel screaming about it. 63 00:06:34,350 --> 00:06:36,310 And then my computer froze, 64 00:06:36,310 --> 00:06:38,090 I couldn't get it to do anything, 65 00:06:38,090 --> 00:06:40,463 and then this other guy came in and... 66 00:06:41,656 --> 00:06:44,489 (whimsical music) 67 00:07:04,800 --> 00:07:06,217 - [Man] Aw, geez. 68 00:07:08,130 --> 00:07:10,040 - Hello, sir. 69 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:13,470 - Hi. My computer and I need a room for the night please. 70 00:07:13,470 --> 00:07:14,399 - Okay. 71 00:07:14,399 --> 00:07:15,880 And do you have a payment? 72 00:07:15,880 --> 00:07:18,210 It's $99 plus tax, is that all right? 73 00:07:18,210 --> 00:07:20,120 - That's wonderful. 74 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,200 My wife threatened to hit Sally with a hammer 75 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:23,700 if I didn't bring her with me. 76 00:07:24,922 --> 00:07:28,172 (seductive rock music) 77 00:07:30,190 --> 00:07:32,010 - Okay, we have breakfast in the lobby 78 00:07:32,010 --> 00:07:33,760 from six to 10, complimentary. 79 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,892 Checkout time is 11, and we have free HBO 80 00:07:36,892 --> 00:07:38,423 and free WiFi. 81 00:07:38,423 --> 00:07:39,880 - Oh. 82 00:07:39,880 --> 00:07:41,310 Free WiFi. 83 00:07:41,310 --> 00:07:42,650 My wife just doesn't understand 84 00:07:42,650 --> 00:07:44,700 our complicated relationship. 85 00:07:44,700 --> 00:07:46,000 You ever have that happen? 86 00:07:47,191 --> 00:07:48,858 - [Clerk] Uh huh. 87 00:07:50,034 --> 00:07:51,255 - You know-- 88 00:07:51,255 --> 00:07:52,088 - [Clerk] So-- 89 00:07:52,088 --> 00:07:54,170 - Huh? Oh, okay. 90 00:07:54,170 --> 00:07:55,110 Thank you, ma'am. 91 00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:56,342 Do I need to sign anything? 92 00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:57,480 - No, no, you can do it in the morning. 93 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,430 You just take Sally and go. 94 00:07:59,430 --> 00:08:01,750 - Oh, that's very kind of you, ma'am. 95 00:08:01,750 --> 00:08:02,723 See you later. 96 00:08:04,817 --> 00:08:07,650 (whimsical music) 97 00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:12,877 - Hey, I'm Mr. Rowe at 219. 98 00:08:14,092 --> 00:08:17,520 I need some coinage for your guest laundry room please. 99 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:18,780 - Of course. 100 00:08:18,780 --> 00:08:19,613 Here you go. 101 00:08:20,834 --> 00:08:21,667 - Thanks. 102 00:08:22,780 --> 00:08:26,800 - So, did you bother to call tech support? 103 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:27,633 - Oh, yeah. 104 00:08:27,633 --> 00:08:28,993 They were real helpful. 105 00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:31,763 Gonna have to call tech support. 106 00:08:36,311 --> 00:08:39,470 (phone ringing) 107 00:08:39,470 --> 00:08:42,190 - After House's IT support, this is Jameson. 108 00:08:42,190 --> 00:08:44,340 - Okay, I got a black screen with an hourglass, 109 00:08:44,340 --> 00:08:46,500 and it won't do anything else. 110 00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:47,333 - Uh huh. 111 00:08:48,430 --> 00:08:52,800 Yeah, there's been a lot of outages with our servers. 112 00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:53,770 - Uh huh. 113 00:08:53,770 --> 00:08:57,270 - Now, let me ask you a couple of questions here. 114 00:08:57,270 --> 00:08:59,430 Do you have the hourglass, 115 00:08:59,430 --> 00:09:01,580 or do you have that like flapping bat thing 116 00:09:01,580 --> 00:09:02,623 that's all new? 117 00:09:05,846 --> 00:09:07,273 - No, no flapping bat. 118 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:09,393 - No? 119 00:09:09,393 --> 00:09:10,960 All right. 120 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:12,890 Is the screen blue? 121 00:09:12,890 --> 00:09:15,170 - It's black screen, black. 122 00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:16,003 - Green? 123 00:09:16,003 --> 00:09:17,720 - No, I already told you, it's a black screen. 124 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:18,553 - Black? 125 00:09:18,553 --> 00:09:19,790 'Cause if it's black, that might mean 126 00:09:19,790 --> 00:09:20,880 it's just turned off. 127 00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,880 - I already told you, it's an hourglass. 128 00:09:24,160 --> 00:09:26,010 - I'm afraid I can't have you do anything 129 00:09:26,010 --> 00:09:29,720 on your end, I'm gonna have to reboot it over here on this end. 130 00:09:29,720 --> 00:09:31,970 That's gonna take probably about 45 minutes 131 00:09:31,970 --> 00:09:32,903 to an hour. 132 00:09:35,550 --> 00:09:37,780 Well, you got time. 133 00:09:37,780 --> 00:09:39,303 Have you found Jesus? 134 00:09:43,370 --> 00:09:44,203 Hello? 135 00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:48,730 I guess you're going to Hell. 136 00:09:50,639 --> 00:09:53,472 (whimsical music) 137 00:09:58,442 --> 00:10:01,122 - Aw, man! 138 00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:02,183 Come on! 139 00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:07,040 - Reservation for Mr. Riesling. 140 00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:07,873 - Yes. 141 00:10:09,820 --> 00:10:11,460 Here you are, sir. 142 00:10:11,460 --> 00:10:12,547 Just fill this out. 143 00:10:13,770 --> 00:10:15,650 We have complimentary breakfast here in the lobby 144 00:10:15,650 --> 00:10:18,150 from six to 10, checkout time is 11. 145 00:10:18,150 --> 00:10:19,673 We have free HBO and WiFi. 146 00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:23,410 - Now, it's after midnight. 147 00:10:23,410 --> 00:10:25,493 How can I be sure you're not gonna be charging me 148 00:10:25,493 --> 00:10:26,826 for another day? 149 00:10:28,040 --> 00:10:30,370 - You made a reservation for one night. 150 00:10:30,370 --> 00:10:32,420 As long as you check out by checkout time, 151 00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:34,860 which is 11, you'll be fine. 152 00:10:34,860 --> 00:10:37,010 - My reservation is for the 8th. 153 00:10:37,010 --> 00:10:38,913 It is now technically the 9th. 154 00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:42,360 I want to be sure that you aren't gonna try 155 00:10:42,360 --> 00:10:44,323 to charge me for both the 8th and the 9th. 156 00:10:45,950 --> 00:10:47,030 - It doesn't work like that. 157 00:10:47,030 --> 00:10:49,603 As long as you check out by 11 on the 9th, 158 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:52,400 11 AM, it'll be fine. 159 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,853 It'll only be charged for one night, I promise. 160 00:10:56,260 --> 00:10:57,750 - What is this? 161 00:10:57,750 --> 00:10:59,760 - That's your license plate. 162 00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:01,430 In case you leave your lights on 163 00:11:01,430 --> 00:11:03,450 or somebody dings your car in the parking lot 164 00:11:03,450 --> 00:11:05,750 and wants to make it right, we can contact you. 165 00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,850 - You don't need my plate number for that. 166 00:11:08,730 --> 00:11:11,810 Cars these days have automatic lights, 167 00:11:11,810 --> 00:11:14,770 and people simply leave their insurance information 168 00:11:14,770 --> 00:11:17,470 on the windshield if they cause any damage 169 00:11:17,470 --> 00:11:19,590 and are brave enough to make it right. 170 00:11:19,590 --> 00:11:22,410 No, this is some type of scam 171 00:11:22,410 --> 00:11:24,780 trying to get my background information 172 00:11:24,780 --> 00:11:27,580 and use it against me, I am sure of it. 173 00:11:27,580 --> 00:11:29,325 - You can leave that blank. 174 00:11:29,325 --> 00:11:32,550 - You're damn right I'm gonna leave it blank. 175 00:11:32,550 --> 00:11:37,550 - Your room is 328, third floor, end of the hall. 176 00:11:38,460 --> 00:11:40,005 Have a nice night. 177 00:11:40,005 --> 00:11:43,422 (classical violin music) 178 00:11:49,420 --> 00:11:53,279 - It sounds like he has control issues. 179 00:11:53,279 --> 00:11:54,112 (laughs) 180 00:11:54,112 --> 00:11:55,040 - Yeah. 181 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,530 He had just given me his name, his address, 182 00:11:58,530 --> 00:12:01,770 his telephone number, his credit card information, 183 00:12:01,770 --> 00:12:04,220 but he's worried that I am gonna scam him 184 00:12:04,220 --> 00:12:05,828 with the license plate. 185 00:12:05,828 --> 00:12:07,828 (phone ringing) 186 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:09,400 (whimsical music) 187 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:10,630 Front desk. 188 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:13,030 - Yeah, listen. 189 00:12:13,030 --> 00:12:16,720 I'm trying to do my laundry in your guest laundry room, 190 00:12:16,720 --> 00:12:21,720 and put my dough in the soap machine, 191 00:12:21,820 --> 00:12:23,490 but it didn't cough up any soap. 192 00:12:23,490 --> 00:12:24,323 - I'm sorry sir. 193 00:12:24,323 --> 00:12:26,649 If you come to the desk, I will refund your money. 194 00:12:26,649 --> 00:12:30,176 (whimsical music) 195 00:12:30,176 --> 00:12:33,426 (seductive rock music) 196 00:12:35,177 --> 00:12:37,120 (phone ringing) 197 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,053 Front desk. 198 00:12:40,017 --> 00:12:40,850 - Hi. 199 00:12:42,250 --> 00:12:44,000 - What can I do for you, Mr. Smith? 200 00:12:45,847 --> 00:12:48,510 - [Mr. Smith] Have you ever heard of furries? 201 00:12:48,510 --> 00:12:49,990 - I'm sorry, I don't have time, 202 00:12:49,990 --> 00:12:52,690 I'm checking in guests right now, I can't talk. 203 00:12:52,690 --> 00:12:55,163 Right, right, goodnight, Mr. Smith. 204 00:12:58,140 --> 00:12:59,487 - Goodnight. 205 00:12:59,487 --> 00:13:02,737 (seductive rock music) 206 00:13:04,561 --> 00:13:07,324 (classical violin music) 207 00:13:07,324 --> 00:13:10,180 (phone ringing) 208 00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:11,260 - Front desk. 209 00:13:11,260 --> 00:13:14,920 - Miss, this room is not adequate. 210 00:13:14,920 --> 00:13:19,920 I request, nay, I demand another room immediately. 211 00:13:20,200 --> 00:13:22,510 - I'm sorry sir, what is the problem with the room? 212 00:13:22,510 --> 00:13:25,283 - It's too close to the interstate. 213 00:13:26,450 --> 00:13:30,210 I will never be able to sleep with all this traffic. 214 00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:31,780 - I have another room on the opposite side 215 00:13:31,780 --> 00:13:33,000 of the hotel for you. 216 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,850 Just come down and exchange your key. 217 00:13:39,563 --> 00:13:42,396 (whimsical music) 218 00:13:50,915 --> 00:13:51,915 - All right. 219 00:14:07,390 --> 00:14:09,090 Oh, come on, man! 220 00:14:14,620 --> 00:14:15,981 What the... 221 00:14:15,981 --> 00:14:18,814 (whimsical music) 222 00:14:20,422 --> 00:14:22,672 (groaning) 223 00:14:23,731 --> 00:14:27,148 (classical violin music) 224 00:14:28,191 --> 00:14:31,700 - I am a very important man! 225 00:14:31,700 --> 00:14:34,633 I require proper sleep! 226 00:14:37,070 --> 00:14:37,903 - Don't we all? 227 00:14:39,610 --> 00:14:42,000 And do you know that I, I had to leave the desk 228 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,930 and go clean those rooms? 229 00:14:43,930 --> 00:14:45,763 Because oh no, we can't have a dirty room 230 00:14:45,763 --> 00:14:47,370 that we can't rent. 231 00:14:47,370 --> 00:14:48,740 Can't lose money on that, 232 00:14:48,740 --> 00:14:52,453 and certainly can't pay housekeeping to stay at night, no! 233 00:14:52,453 --> 00:14:55,953 (relaxing elevator music) 234 00:14:57,985 --> 00:15:00,152 (beeping) 235 00:15:05,516 --> 00:15:06,933 Come on, come on. 236 00:15:08,020 --> 00:15:09,937 I don't have all night. 237 00:15:13,774 --> 00:15:16,607 (whimsical music) 238 00:16:07,953 --> 00:16:09,052 Come on! 239 00:16:09,052 --> 00:16:12,552 (relaxing elevator music) 240 00:16:15,863 --> 00:16:17,350 (phone ringing) 241 00:16:17,350 --> 00:16:18,263 Front desk. 242 00:16:19,490 --> 00:16:24,103 - Miss, this room will not do either! 243 00:16:24,940 --> 00:16:26,690 - What is the issue with this room? 244 00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:32,283 - I can hear the ice machines in my room! 245 00:16:33,430 --> 00:16:36,743 And I see there are vending machines here. 246 00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:41,803 They will certainly keep me awake. 247 00:16:42,790 --> 00:16:46,270 Now I am a very important man, 248 00:16:46,270 --> 00:16:50,395 not some lowly desk clerk like you. 249 00:16:50,395 --> 00:16:52,980 I need my rest. 250 00:16:52,980 --> 00:16:55,963 I demand another room! 251 00:16:57,410 --> 00:16:59,580 - Come to the desk sir, and I will exchange your key 252 00:16:59,580 --> 00:17:01,410 for a different room on the first floor 253 00:17:01,410 --> 00:17:03,363 away from the vending machines. 254 00:17:14,039 --> 00:17:17,040 (phone ringing) 255 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:18,630 Front desk. 256 00:17:18,630 --> 00:17:22,710 - The soap machine took my money again. 257 00:17:22,710 --> 00:17:23,610 - I'm sorry about that sir, 258 00:17:23,610 --> 00:17:25,360 I will of course refund your money. 259 00:17:26,710 --> 00:17:27,960 - That's not good enough. 260 00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:31,570 - Well, I'm sorry sir, but that's all I can do. 261 00:17:31,570 --> 00:17:32,850 - Listen. 262 00:17:32,850 --> 00:17:35,840 I need soap. 263 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:37,783 I have to get my clothes washed. 264 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:43,380 - [Clerk] I'm sorry sir, but that machine is owned 265 00:17:43,380 --> 00:17:45,300 and serviced by an outside vending company. 266 00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:48,063 I have no access to the contents or the replacements. 267 00:17:50,900 --> 00:17:52,480 - That's all you can do? 268 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:53,560 - Yes. 269 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:54,660 And I'm taking your word for it 270 00:17:54,660 --> 00:17:56,780 that the machine actually stole your money. 271 00:17:56,780 --> 00:17:58,480 By the time anybody from the vending company 272 00:17:58,480 --> 00:18:00,733 gets here to verify it, you'll be long gone. 273 00:18:07,460 --> 00:18:10,060 Keep that up and I'll introduce you to Mr. Riesling. 274 00:18:14,230 --> 00:18:17,410 - I am very tired of hauling my personal effects 275 00:18:17,410 --> 00:18:18,710 around this establishment. 276 00:18:20,225 --> 00:18:21,375 - Do you want your key? 277 00:18:25,067 --> 00:18:26,096 - Thank you. 278 00:18:26,096 --> 00:18:28,329 - You're welcome. 279 00:18:28,329 --> 00:18:30,980 (phone ringing) 280 00:18:30,980 --> 00:18:32,731 Front desk. 281 00:18:32,731 --> 00:18:35,981 (seductive rock music) 282 00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:38,163 - Hey! 283 00:18:40,540 --> 00:18:41,543 - Hello, Mr. Smith. 284 00:18:42,931 --> 00:18:43,764 Look, I'm sorry, Mr. Smith, 285 00:18:43,764 --> 00:18:45,080 I don't have time to chat. 286 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:46,930 Did you need something in particular? 287 00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:49,320 - No, no. 288 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:50,697 - Goodnight, Mr. Smith. 289 00:18:54,190 --> 00:18:55,023 - Goodnight. 290 00:18:59,814 --> 00:19:03,064 (seductive rock music) 291 00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:08,540 - Listen. 292 00:19:08,540 --> 00:19:12,660 I need to do my wash, and I need soap to do that. 293 00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:14,130 Now if you can't provide soap 294 00:19:14,130 --> 00:19:16,061 in your guest laundry room, 295 00:19:16,061 --> 00:19:17,330 then I want you to let me wash them 296 00:19:17,330 --> 00:19:18,810 in your regular laundry room. 297 00:19:18,810 --> 00:19:20,160 - Oh no, I can't do that. 298 00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,650 - Yes, you can! 299 00:19:21,650 --> 00:19:23,230 - No, I can't. 300 00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,450 Only housekeeping has access to the laundry room, 301 00:19:25,450 --> 00:19:28,540 and nobody from housekeeping is here at this hour. 302 00:19:28,540 --> 00:19:30,240 - Then what am I supposed to do? 303 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,780 - I can give you directions to a grocery store 304 00:19:32,780 --> 00:19:33,810 and you can buy some soap. 305 00:19:33,810 --> 00:19:36,050 - I don't want to go out and buy soap. 306 00:19:36,050 --> 00:19:38,010 - I can give you directions to a laundromat. 307 00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:40,020 - I don't want to go to a laundromat, 308 00:19:40,020 --> 00:19:42,240 I want to do my wash here! 309 00:19:42,240 --> 00:19:44,090 - Well, I'm sorry sir, but you can't. 310 00:19:47,370 --> 00:19:49,790 - Fine, I won't. 311 00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:50,623 - Fine. 312 00:19:51,780 --> 00:19:52,680 Here's your money. 313 00:19:58,670 --> 00:19:59,503 - Aaah! 314 00:20:00,370 --> 00:20:01,203 God! 315 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,713 You gave me two dollar bills! 316 00:20:06,980 --> 00:20:09,620 The soap machine only takes quarters. 317 00:20:09,620 --> 00:20:11,690 - Well, I'm sorry sir, I thought you'd 318 00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:13,360 given up on laundry for the night. 319 00:20:13,360 --> 00:20:16,633 - I need to do my wash. 320 00:20:20,843 --> 00:20:23,510 (phone ringing) 321 00:20:24,500 --> 00:20:25,413 - Front desk. 322 00:20:26,750 --> 00:20:28,980 - Miss, this room-- 323 00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:32,250 - Will have to do, because there aren't any others. 324 00:20:32,250 --> 00:20:33,460 Unless you'd like to go back to the ones 325 00:20:33,460 --> 00:20:35,360 you've already been in. 326 00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:38,360 - But it's too close to the parking lot! 327 00:20:38,360 --> 00:20:41,690 I don't like being close to the parking lot! 328 00:20:41,690 --> 00:20:43,740 - I'm sorry sir, but this is all we have. 329 00:20:54,501 --> 00:20:58,001 (relaxing elevator music) 330 00:21:04,070 --> 00:21:06,237 (beeping) 331 00:21:07,192 --> 00:21:10,025 (whimsical music) 332 00:21:16,115 --> 00:21:18,532 - I don't have time for this. 333 00:21:20,061 --> 00:21:22,894 (whimsical music) 334 00:21:31,242 --> 00:21:33,042 Good enough. 335 00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:35,875 (whimsical music) 336 00:21:37,821 --> 00:21:41,321 (relaxing elevator music) 337 00:21:46,824 --> 00:21:49,407 (catchy music) 338 00:21:52,286 --> 00:21:53,119 (bell ringing) 339 00:21:53,119 --> 00:21:54,180 - Hello. 340 00:21:54,180 --> 00:21:55,013 Hello? 341 00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:01,823 Excuse me. 342 00:22:03,160 --> 00:22:04,350 - Sorry, sir. 343 00:22:04,350 --> 00:22:05,183 - Oh, finally. 344 00:22:05,183 --> 00:22:06,963 I've been standing here for an hour. 345 00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:10,080 - Right, sorry, I was on the other floor 346 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,753 dealing with a matter. Now, what can I do for-- 347 00:22:11,753 --> 00:22:14,123 - Yeah right, probably back there doing crack. 348 00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:16,260 - What can I do for you, sir? 349 00:22:16,260 --> 00:22:18,560 - Hm, let's see. 350 00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:19,890 Well, since I'm in a hotel, 351 00:22:19,890 --> 00:22:22,796 maybe you could tell me how much it costs to stay here. 352 00:22:22,796 --> 00:22:24,900 - $99 plus tax. 353 00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:26,170 - 99 bucks. 354 00:22:26,170 --> 00:22:27,109 - [Clerk] Yes. 355 00:22:27,109 --> 00:22:28,775 - For this dump? - [Clerk] Yes. 356 00:22:28,775 --> 00:22:29,608 - You gotta be kidding me. 357 00:22:29,608 --> 00:22:31,610 How do you get off charging that much for a room? 358 00:22:31,610 --> 00:22:33,687 - That's the price management set, sir. 359 00:22:33,687 --> 00:22:34,990 - Mhm. 360 00:22:34,990 --> 00:22:35,880 Typical. 361 00:22:35,880 --> 00:22:38,170 Typical millennial trash, 362 00:22:38,170 --> 00:22:40,613 blaming everyone else for your incompetency. 363 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,360 - [Clerk] I'm 43. 364 00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:44,193 - Bimbo! 365 00:22:47,940 --> 00:22:49,540 - And then after dealing with that ass, 366 00:22:49,540 --> 00:22:51,690 I still had a broken computer to deal with. 367 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:56,942 - Oh, sometimes people have trouble separating 368 00:22:56,942 --> 00:23:01,942 their work life from their personal life. 369 00:23:03,838 --> 00:23:06,421 (catchy music) 370 00:23:07,557 --> 00:23:10,690 - I'm gonna call tech support back. 371 00:23:10,690 --> 00:23:12,040 I'll call that network guy. 372 00:23:12,885 --> 00:23:15,570 Yeah, yeah, I got that number in my cell phone. 373 00:23:15,570 --> 00:23:16,603 They know better. 374 00:23:17,490 --> 00:23:18,323 - Oh, man! 375 00:23:19,683 --> 00:23:21,264 Oh, dude! 376 00:23:21,264 --> 00:23:23,516 (phone ringing) 377 00:23:23,516 --> 00:23:26,260 Right at the good part. 378 00:23:26,260 --> 00:23:28,070 Network Operation Center, this is Theo, 379 00:23:28,070 --> 00:23:29,650 how can I help you? 380 00:23:29,650 --> 00:23:32,717 - Yes, this is Michelle at the Sleepytime Inn. 381 00:23:32,717 --> 00:23:33,677 - Uh huh. 382 00:23:33,677 --> 00:23:37,923 - I have a black screen with an hourglass. 383 00:23:39,030 --> 00:23:42,523 - Yeah, you got a black screen not a blue screen? 384 00:23:43,460 --> 00:23:44,620 Okay. 385 00:23:44,620 --> 00:23:46,943 Is there a cursor on it or anything? 386 00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:50,030 Okay, an hourglass, okay. 387 00:23:50,030 --> 00:23:52,840 - Yes, an hourglass, no flapping bat. 388 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:54,093 Yeah, hourglass. 389 00:23:55,690 --> 00:23:56,550 - Hold on just a second, 390 00:23:56,550 --> 00:23:58,600 I'm gonna put you on speaker. 391 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,380 Why don't you look at the back of you computer there, 392 00:24:00,380 --> 00:24:01,410 check it out. 393 00:24:01,410 --> 00:24:03,768 Everything's plugged in, you see a little light there? 394 00:24:03,768 --> 00:24:04,601 - [Clerk] No. 395 00:24:04,601 --> 00:24:06,160 - No little light? 396 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,193 And let me see what kind of cable you've got there. 397 00:24:13,550 --> 00:24:16,970 Well, that all should be ethernet cat 5 cable, 398 00:24:16,970 --> 00:24:20,000 so just look on the back of the computer, 399 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:21,940 there's probably a blue wire 400 00:24:21,940 --> 00:24:23,870 that's about the size of a pencil, 401 00:24:23,870 --> 00:24:25,310 maybe a little smaller than the pencil 402 00:24:25,310 --> 00:24:26,143 coming out of the back, 403 00:24:26,143 --> 00:24:27,250 make sure that that's plugged in 404 00:24:27,250 --> 00:24:28,970 and there's a little light blinking 405 00:24:28,970 --> 00:24:30,500 where it's plugged in, 406 00:24:30,500 --> 00:24:31,890 and we'll want to find that router 407 00:24:31,890 --> 00:24:35,300 and see where your computer plugs in there. 408 00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:37,840 It should be very nice and neat. 409 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:41,210 I believe I set that up when we first 410 00:24:41,210 --> 00:24:42,250 put this network together, 411 00:24:42,250 --> 00:24:44,060 I set it up so it should be pristine, 412 00:24:44,060 --> 00:24:45,800 it should have all the wires tied, 413 00:24:45,800 --> 00:24:46,770 everything should be nice. 414 00:24:46,770 --> 00:24:48,823 So go ahead and go in there. 415 00:24:49,900 --> 00:24:50,910 - [Clerk] Still no light. 416 00:24:50,910 --> 00:24:51,743 - Okay, all right. 417 00:24:51,743 --> 00:24:52,900 Well that means our connection 418 00:24:52,900 --> 00:24:53,733 on the other end's bad, 419 00:24:53,733 --> 00:24:55,673 we're gonna have to go into the server room. 420 00:24:57,150 --> 00:24:58,800 Yeah, it's probably just a little closet, 421 00:24:58,800 --> 00:25:00,773 it's probably not big. 422 00:25:02,468 --> 00:25:04,178 - Oh, good lord. 423 00:25:04,178 --> 00:25:07,060 - There's 40 some odd cables down there, 424 00:25:07,060 --> 00:25:08,610 but just go through them, one at a time, 425 00:25:08,610 --> 00:25:10,218 you'll find it. 426 00:25:10,218 --> 00:25:15,130 - Uh, I don't know, this makes sense to you? 427 00:25:15,130 --> 00:25:18,300 - Yeah, I know it's all tangled in there and everything, 428 00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:21,460 but you're gonna have to just trace that wire, 429 00:25:21,460 --> 00:25:22,960 and follow it around the room. 430 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:26,680 - Over, okay. 431 00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:28,300 Less, uh huh, uh huh. 432 00:25:28,300 --> 00:25:29,469 I can do that. 433 00:25:29,469 --> 00:25:30,808 - And it comes in the wall, 434 00:25:30,808 --> 00:25:32,450 there's a conduit that comes in there, 435 00:25:32,450 --> 00:25:34,380 should all be nice and neat. 436 00:25:34,380 --> 00:25:35,213 - Oh, come on! 437 00:25:35,213 --> 00:25:37,390 It's just a big pile of crap. 438 00:25:37,390 --> 00:25:39,600 - What do you mean it's a big bundle of crap? 439 00:25:39,600 --> 00:25:41,733 - Yes, yes, a bundle of crap. 440 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:44,550 Full of dirt. 441 00:25:44,550 --> 00:25:46,023 Ugh, God! 442 00:25:47,250 --> 00:25:48,330 - Hey, John! 443 00:25:48,330 --> 00:25:51,210 John, who set this network up? 444 00:25:51,210 --> 00:25:52,897 - [John] I think Zane. 445 00:25:52,897 --> 00:25:54,380 - Ah damn Zane. 446 00:25:54,380 --> 00:25:55,413 Excuse my French. 447 00:25:56,680 --> 00:25:57,940 I'm gonna kill Zane, I swear to God. 448 00:25:57,940 --> 00:26:00,910 - Ow, ow, ow, ow, my back. 449 00:26:00,910 --> 00:26:01,743 - What we're gonna have to do 450 00:26:01,743 --> 00:26:03,490 is we're gonna have to go from underneath 451 00:26:03,490 --> 00:26:04,610 where all the cables come in, 452 00:26:04,610 --> 00:26:06,630 so you're gonna have to get underneath that desk 453 00:26:06,630 --> 00:26:07,710 where that comes in. 454 00:26:07,710 --> 00:26:09,217 - In the manager's office now. 455 00:26:10,563 --> 00:26:12,906 Can't everything be in one place? 456 00:26:12,906 --> 00:26:14,492 (whimsical music) 457 00:26:14,492 --> 00:26:16,507 - [Theo] I think that should do it for you. 458 00:26:16,507 --> 00:26:19,340 (whimsical music) 459 00:26:32,351 --> 00:26:34,851 (door creaks) 460 00:26:41,762 --> 00:26:43,602 (bell rings) 461 00:26:43,602 --> 00:26:46,852 (seductive rock music) 462 00:26:55,275 --> 00:26:57,692 (bell rings) 463 00:27:00,472 --> 00:27:02,102 - Oh, God! 464 00:27:02,102 --> 00:27:04,519 (bell rings) 465 00:27:11,009 --> 00:27:13,276 God, not my makeup! 466 00:27:13,276 --> 00:27:14,359 Everything... 467 00:27:17,178 --> 00:27:19,595 (bell rings) 468 00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:30,963 Oh, yes, yes, I'm coming. 469 00:27:32,256 --> 00:27:34,673 (bell rings) 470 00:27:38,527 --> 00:27:40,003 Mr. Smith. 471 00:27:40,003 --> 00:27:41,150 What did you need? 472 00:27:41,150 --> 00:27:42,670 - Do you have a few moments to talk? 473 00:27:42,670 --> 00:27:44,770 - I'm gonna do paperwork. 474 00:27:44,770 --> 00:27:46,540 - Well, we were wondering... 475 00:27:48,220 --> 00:27:50,100 You know Sally, you met her earlier? 476 00:27:50,100 --> 00:27:51,766 - [Clerk] Uh huh. - She's my computer. 477 00:27:51,766 --> 00:27:52,599 - Uh huh. 478 00:27:52,599 --> 00:27:54,630 - We have a lovely kitten costume 479 00:27:54,630 --> 00:27:57,350 we think you would be beautiful for. 480 00:27:57,350 --> 00:28:00,600 It's striped, it's orange, 481 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:02,510 it has big, fluffy ears, 482 00:28:02,510 --> 00:28:04,163 and this beautiful tail. 483 00:28:05,090 --> 00:28:08,250 - Uh huh. - If you would be interested, that would be great. 484 00:28:08,250 --> 00:28:10,300 Maybe we could do something this evening? 485 00:28:11,900 --> 00:28:12,733 - Uh huh. 486 00:28:13,980 --> 00:28:15,360 - You would, great. 487 00:28:15,360 --> 00:28:17,810 I'll go tell Sally, she's gonna be so excited. 488 00:28:22,491 --> 00:28:25,408 - So, tell me more about Mr. Smith. 489 00:28:29,652 --> 00:28:31,363 - Eh, he's a typical weirdo. 490 00:28:32,630 --> 00:28:35,260 But I did have a great time in the morning 491 00:28:35,260 --> 00:28:37,153 getting back at that Mr. Riesling. 492 00:28:40,422 --> 00:28:43,472 (hard rock music) 493 00:28:43,472 --> 00:28:47,920 (speaking in foreign language) 494 00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,080 - Ma'am, the key's not working. 495 00:28:50,080 --> 00:28:51,210 - I'm sorry. 496 00:28:51,210 --> 00:28:52,190 - Why doesn't it work? 497 00:28:52,190 --> 00:28:53,700 It never works. 498 00:28:53,700 --> 00:28:55,730 - I don't know, sometimes it's not programmed. 499 00:28:55,730 --> 00:28:58,570 I don't know, I'm sorry, it's fixed now. 500 00:28:58,570 --> 00:29:01,360 - Oh, by the way, your makeup looks terrible. 501 00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:02,193 - Thanks. 502 00:29:05,010 --> 00:29:06,987 Oh God, it does! 503 00:29:06,987 --> 00:29:08,930 And it looks like I'm having an allergic reaction 504 00:29:08,930 --> 00:29:10,673 to that dust under the desk! 505 00:29:12,180 --> 00:29:14,970 And after that, I started having an allergic reaction 506 00:29:14,970 --> 00:29:16,503 every time I went into work. 507 00:29:18,314 --> 00:29:23,314 - Oh, that sounds like your emotional intolerance 508 00:29:23,890 --> 00:29:28,653 was manifesting in physical symptoms. 509 00:29:29,492 --> 00:29:30,325 Hm? 510 00:29:35,491 --> 00:29:37,908 (scratching) 511 00:29:42,993 --> 00:29:45,800 (classical violin music) 512 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:48,000 (phone ringing) 513 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:53,770 - Front desk. - There is a truck idling outside my window 514 00:29:56,320 --> 00:30:00,030 and I want it turned off now! 515 00:30:00,030 --> 00:30:03,130 - I'm sorry sir, but I can't do anything about that. 516 00:30:03,130 --> 00:30:05,740 - What kind of hotel is this? 517 00:30:05,740 --> 00:30:08,580 It's one of those railroad company trucks, 518 00:30:08,580 --> 00:30:10,410 and I want somebody to come down here 519 00:30:10,410 --> 00:30:12,530 and turn it off now! 520 00:30:12,530 --> 00:30:13,850 - I'm sorry sir, but there's lots of 521 00:30:13,850 --> 00:30:15,030 railroad company trucks. 522 00:30:15,030 --> 00:30:16,700 And I have no way of knowing 523 00:30:16,700 --> 00:30:18,440 whose particular truck that is. 524 00:30:18,440 --> 00:30:21,030 You see, we had so many complaints last night 525 00:30:21,030 --> 00:30:24,180 from guests about not giving their license plate numbers 526 00:30:24,180 --> 00:30:25,793 that we suspended the practice. 527 00:30:31,430 --> 00:30:34,080 Of course, then it all went to hell during breakfast. 528 00:30:36,754 --> 00:30:39,289 (lighthearted music) 529 00:30:39,289 --> 00:30:41,790 - Hey look, I scored us some donuts. 530 00:30:41,790 --> 00:30:43,333 - I'm sick of this crap, I'm changing to Fox News. 531 00:30:43,333 --> 00:30:44,166 - Oh no, what are you doing? 532 00:30:44,166 --> 00:30:45,460 Now leave it alone. 533 00:30:45,460 --> 00:30:46,372 - Hey. 534 00:30:46,372 --> 00:30:47,205 - Leave it alone, Fox News? 535 00:30:47,205 --> 00:30:48,038 - Hey, come on! 536 00:30:48,038 --> 00:30:48,871 - Oh, come on. 537 00:30:50,580 --> 00:30:53,260 - Ma'am, the water's not hot enough for tea. 538 00:30:53,260 --> 00:30:54,820 - Oh, well I'm sorry about that, 539 00:30:54,820 --> 00:30:56,828 let's see what's going on. 540 00:30:56,828 --> 00:30:59,911 (lighthearted music) 541 00:31:04,078 --> 00:31:05,390 - Now just sit down and watch a little bit, 542 00:31:05,390 --> 00:31:06,750 you'll learn something. 543 00:31:06,750 --> 00:31:08,980 - I'll get dumber every second I watch those 544 00:31:08,980 --> 00:31:10,470 liberal bubble heads on TV. 545 00:31:10,470 --> 00:31:12,540 - Liberal bubble heads? 546 00:31:12,540 --> 00:31:15,623 (lighthearted music) 547 00:31:18,660 --> 00:31:20,993 - The water's boiling, you can make your tea now. 548 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:23,800 - This is intolerable. 549 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:25,473 I demand hot tea. 550 00:31:26,350 --> 00:31:28,510 I've been to England. 551 00:31:28,510 --> 00:31:31,470 I've had tea at Chartwell. 552 00:31:31,470 --> 00:31:33,040 This is ridiculous. 553 00:31:33,040 --> 00:31:34,260 - Well, the water is boiling, 554 00:31:34,260 --> 00:31:36,423 and it doesn't get any hotter than boiling. 555 00:31:37,354 --> 00:31:39,400 - Outrageous. 556 00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:40,233 I'm out of here. 557 00:31:41,970 --> 00:31:45,411 - Chartwell, probably a nice vending machine at Chartwell. 558 00:31:45,411 --> 00:31:47,079 - [Man] There's other people watching this program. 559 00:31:47,079 --> 00:31:50,400 - Yeah, solve everything with violence, that's what you Fox News watchers do. 560 00:31:50,400 --> 00:31:51,233 - Aw, Jesus! 561 00:31:51,233 --> 00:31:52,200 Come on, give it up! 562 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:53,470 - Quit! 563 00:31:53,470 --> 00:31:55,730 (yelling) 564 00:31:55,730 --> 00:31:57,230 Were you dropped on your head? 565 00:31:59,140 --> 00:32:00,090 - Excuse me, ma'am. 566 00:32:00,997 --> 00:32:02,188 Could you help us? 567 00:32:02,188 --> 00:32:03,021 - Yeah? 568 00:32:03,021 --> 00:32:04,630 - I wanted to watch Fox News on this TV over here, 569 00:32:04,630 --> 00:32:06,950 and he's been watching CNN for the past three hours. 570 00:32:06,950 --> 00:32:08,940 - Well, CNN was the one beforehand, 571 00:32:08,940 --> 00:32:10,478 and it's gonna stay there. 572 00:32:10,478 --> 00:32:11,600 - [Man] It's time to change the channel. 573 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,817 - Not only that, he used violence against me 574 00:32:13,817 --> 00:32:15,530 trying to take this remote away from me. 575 00:32:15,530 --> 00:32:18,238 - [Man] Only after I exhausted all other options. 576 00:32:18,238 --> 00:32:19,071 You left me no-- 577 00:32:19,071 --> 00:32:20,006 - Yeah, you always go to violence, 578 00:32:20,006 --> 00:32:21,800 it's what you guys do. - Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen. 579 00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:24,110 We've had a special request from the kids, 580 00:32:24,110 --> 00:32:25,590 we're watching cartoons. 581 00:32:25,590 --> 00:32:26,440 - [Men] Cartoons? 582 00:32:27,369 --> 00:32:28,369 - Yay! - Yay! 583 00:32:29,419 --> 00:32:32,480 (whimsical music) 584 00:32:32,480 --> 00:32:33,480 - Thanks! - Thanks! 585 00:32:38,250 --> 00:32:40,081 - [Narrator] Oh, there's the paper now! 586 00:32:40,081 --> 00:32:42,581 (dog barking) 587 00:32:46,393 --> 00:32:47,226 - Ugh! 588 00:32:47,226 --> 00:32:48,810 What the hell is wrong with you? 589 00:32:48,810 --> 00:32:50,820 You can't have cartoons on in here. 590 00:32:50,820 --> 00:32:52,470 If I catch cartoons on here again, 591 00:32:52,470 --> 00:32:54,250 you're gonna be out of a job. 592 00:32:54,250 --> 00:32:56,423 - [Character] See what happened to Dick Tracy! 593 00:32:59,930 --> 00:33:04,930 - So, tell me more about your boss. 594 00:33:06,090 --> 00:33:09,370 - Well, she's completely self absorbed. 595 00:33:09,370 --> 00:33:12,500 We couldn't rely on her at all to be a boss. 596 00:33:12,500 --> 00:33:14,650 All she did was cause more chaos, 597 00:33:14,650 --> 00:33:16,780 create more work for everybody, 598 00:33:16,780 --> 00:33:18,060 but at least I only had to put up with her 599 00:33:18,060 --> 00:33:19,840 for a few minutes each morning. 600 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,320 Ugh, day shift. 601 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:22,650 I wouldn't want to be them. 602 00:33:22,650 --> 00:33:24,260 They had to put up with her for however long 603 00:33:24,260 --> 00:33:27,870 she wanted to "work" on any given day. 604 00:33:27,870 --> 00:33:28,703 - Sarah! 605 00:33:29,960 --> 00:33:32,790 What the hell happened with Jill this morning? 606 00:33:32,790 --> 00:33:34,960 - Uh, she wasn't sure how to do a search 607 00:33:34,960 --> 00:33:37,290 on the computer, so I showed her. 608 00:33:37,290 --> 00:33:39,340 - Well, I didn't hear you yelling at her. 609 00:33:40,450 --> 00:33:42,250 - Why would I yell at her? 610 00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:44,890 - It is your job to yell at underlings. 611 00:33:44,890 --> 00:33:46,400 If you cannot do your job, 612 00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:49,043 I will find someone else to be the desk manager. 613 00:33:49,043 --> 00:33:51,793 (dramatic music) 614 00:33:54,720 --> 00:33:58,010 - That bitch actually thinks it's a manager's job 615 00:33:58,010 --> 00:33:59,850 to yell at employees. 616 00:33:59,850 --> 00:34:01,940 That explains a lot. 617 00:34:01,940 --> 00:34:03,409 - Like what? 618 00:34:03,409 --> 00:34:05,640 - Like why, she can't actually run this hotel smoothly, 619 00:34:05,640 --> 00:34:07,656 and is such a bitch all the damn time. 620 00:34:07,656 --> 00:34:08,489 (chuckling) 621 00:34:08,489 --> 00:34:10,020 - I thought it's 'cause she always gives discounts 622 00:34:10,020 --> 00:34:12,370 to those boss guys, spends a night in the room with them, 623 00:34:12,370 --> 00:34:13,727 and then they up and leave. 624 00:34:15,620 --> 00:34:18,210 - The next night wasn't any better though. 625 00:34:18,210 --> 00:34:19,043 - Why not? 626 00:34:20,070 --> 00:34:22,210 - It was college football season, 627 00:34:22,210 --> 00:34:25,640 and everybody loses their mind in football season. 628 00:34:25,640 --> 00:34:27,590 Fans and non fans alike 629 00:34:30,588 --> 00:34:33,839 - [Commentator] Running-back Troy Jones does it again, 630 00:34:33,839 --> 00:34:36,350 in front of record crowds tonight 631 00:34:36,350 --> 00:34:39,557 as he scores the game winning touchdown. 632 00:34:39,557 --> 00:34:42,030 - And you're in luck, it's our last room. 633 00:34:42,030 --> 00:34:46,410 - You know what, I have been lucky all day. 634 00:34:46,410 --> 00:34:47,860 - Very good, sir. - Thanks. 635 00:34:47,860 --> 00:34:49,060 - You have a good night. 636 00:34:51,339 --> 00:34:52,172 - I want a single room. 637 00:34:52,172 --> 00:34:53,799 - I'm sorry, we don't have any rooms left, 638 00:34:53,799 --> 00:34:54,678 we're all full. 639 00:34:54,678 --> 00:34:55,659 - What do you mean, it's a hotel, 640 00:34:55,659 --> 00:34:56,718 of course you got rooms. 641 00:34:56,718 --> 00:34:57,950 - Well, yes, but they're all rented, 642 00:34:57,950 --> 00:35:00,210 I don't have any left available. 643 00:35:00,210 --> 00:35:02,420 - How do you not have rooms? 644 00:35:02,420 --> 00:35:04,240 People pay with credit cards, 645 00:35:04,240 --> 00:35:05,790 they come in, you charge them, 646 00:35:05,790 --> 00:35:07,960 they don't show up, give me a damn room! 647 00:35:07,960 --> 00:35:10,440 - Well, there's a human in every room. 648 00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:12,120 There's a football game going on, 649 00:35:12,120 --> 00:35:14,300 and everything is full, I'm sorry. 650 00:35:14,300 --> 00:35:15,133 You'll have to-- 651 00:35:15,133 --> 00:35:18,377 - What do I care about a football game? I'm not a player, I want a room. 652 00:35:19,690 --> 00:35:21,740 - Look, I can see that you're not gonna go anywhere 653 00:35:21,740 --> 00:35:23,890 until I produce some lumber and a tool belt 654 00:35:23,890 --> 00:35:25,880 and build you a room on the back of the office, 655 00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:27,300 but that's not gonna happen. 656 00:35:27,300 --> 00:35:30,109 So you are going to have to leave, good night. 657 00:35:30,109 --> 00:35:31,679 - Well bitch. 658 00:35:31,679 --> 00:35:33,740 I'm gonna go to the next town and get a room, 659 00:35:33,740 --> 00:35:35,490 I'll call your boss, get you fired. 660 00:35:36,540 --> 00:35:37,790 - Have a good night, sir. 661 00:35:38,770 --> 00:35:40,603 I can't be lucky enough to be fired. 662 00:35:42,090 --> 00:35:43,400 - [Man] Hey, you stayin' here? 663 00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:44,388 - Yeah. 664 00:35:44,388 --> 00:35:45,221 - Give me that! 665 00:35:45,221 --> 00:35:47,388 (yelling) 666 00:35:48,240 --> 00:35:49,343 - I got the room now. 667 00:35:52,090 --> 00:35:54,378 - Serves you right, you filthy liberal. 668 00:35:54,378 --> 00:35:55,533 - He took my key! 669 00:35:57,470 --> 00:36:00,700 - Mr. Snuggles, thanks for reminding me, 670 00:36:00,700 --> 00:36:03,207 we have to call the Sleepytime Inn. 671 00:36:06,335 --> 00:36:08,410 (phone ringing) 672 00:36:08,410 --> 00:36:09,270 - Front desk. 673 00:36:09,270 --> 00:36:10,693 - Yeah, my sink is clogged. 674 00:36:13,610 --> 00:36:14,710 - I'll be right there. 675 00:36:17,488 --> 00:36:20,571 (lighthearted music) 676 00:36:22,804 --> 00:36:23,637 (knocking) 677 00:36:23,637 --> 00:36:25,135 Front desk. 678 00:36:25,135 --> 00:36:28,218 (lighthearted music) 679 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,710 But the real crazies were yet to come that night, 680 00:37:23,710 --> 00:37:27,139 I mean, you have no idea about these crazies. 681 00:37:27,139 --> 00:37:28,020 - Oh, no! 682 00:37:28,020 --> 00:37:30,733 Believe me, I know crazies. 683 00:37:37,799 --> 00:37:40,882 (catchy piano music) 684 00:37:56,950 --> 00:38:00,090 (phone ringing) 685 00:38:00,090 --> 00:38:01,650 - Thank you for calling our silver and gold 686 00:38:01,650 --> 00:38:03,760 award winning, Anytown's Sleepytime Inn, 687 00:38:03,760 --> 00:38:05,610 this is Michelle, how may I help you? 688 00:38:06,950 --> 00:38:09,980 - Hello, my name is Grace, 689 00:38:09,980 --> 00:38:14,464 and I need to book a room in your hotel this spring. 690 00:38:14,464 --> 00:38:17,547 (catchy piano music) 691 00:38:18,984 --> 00:38:21,234 (grunting) 692 00:38:24,510 --> 00:38:25,760 - That's wonderful, ma'am. 693 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:28,080 And when would you like to stay with us? 694 00:38:28,080 --> 00:38:29,650 - I stayed there last spring, 695 00:38:29,650 --> 00:38:31,803 and it was the most amazing experience. 696 00:38:33,171 --> 00:38:36,254 (catchy piano music) 697 00:38:53,860 --> 00:38:56,010 - Great, now what kind of room would you... 698 00:38:58,044 --> 00:39:01,127 (catchy piano music) 699 00:39:03,020 --> 00:39:05,350 - I consulted my spirit guides, 700 00:39:05,350 --> 00:39:07,810 and they said that Mr. Snuggles and I 701 00:39:07,810 --> 00:39:10,260 have to stay in your hotel. 702 00:39:10,260 --> 00:39:12,153 - Right, Mr. Snuggles, got it. 703 00:39:13,014 --> 00:39:16,514 (relaxing elevator music) 704 00:39:22,820 --> 00:39:26,290 - All because it sits on a positive field of energy. 705 00:39:26,290 --> 00:39:29,593 I woke feeling refreshed like my life was beginning anew. 706 00:39:31,310 --> 00:39:32,630 - Yes, that's wonderful. 707 00:39:32,630 --> 00:39:34,880 Now would you like two double beds or a king? 708 00:39:37,020 --> 00:39:40,840 (catchy piano music) 709 00:39:40,840 --> 00:39:42,100 - My dog stayed with me, 710 00:39:42,100 --> 00:39:45,460 and he had a spiritual awakening as well. 711 00:39:45,460 --> 00:39:46,293 - Uh huh. 712 00:39:46,293 --> 00:39:47,163 - Honey? 713 00:39:48,481 --> 00:39:49,863 Oh no, not again. 714 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:51,753 Honey! 715 00:39:55,300 --> 00:39:58,040 - And then the rainbow appeared above the TV, 716 00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:01,300 and that's when Mr. Snuggles finally saw the angel 717 00:40:01,300 --> 00:40:03,280 petting his tail. 718 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:04,280 - That's lovely. 719 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,973 Now do you just want one bed for your upcoming stay? 720 00:40:08,050 --> 00:40:10,770 - Well, Mr. Snuggles takes up a lot of room, 721 00:40:10,770 --> 00:40:14,640 and he needs to sleep with me in the corner of the bed. 722 00:40:14,640 --> 00:40:16,630 Now when Mr. Snuggles was a puppy 723 00:40:16,630 --> 00:40:20,150 he used to sleep on the pillow next to my head, 724 00:40:20,150 --> 00:40:23,780 and he was so cute with his legs up in the air. 725 00:40:23,780 --> 00:40:27,280 And then sometimes he would also sleep on my head, 726 00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:29,790 and it would look just like a little Russian hat. 727 00:40:29,790 --> 00:40:31,880 But then there was that time he wet the bed, 728 00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:34,479 so we had to stop that. 729 00:40:34,479 --> 00:40:36,950 (catchy piano music) 730 00:40:36,950 --> 00:40:37,803 - There you are. 731 00:40:41,410 --> 00:40:42,600 - So, you'll be wanting a room 732 00:40:42,600 --> 00:40:44,257 with just one king sized bed then. 733 00:40:44,257 --> 00:40:45,870 - But you see, the spirit guides need 734 00:40:45,870 --> 00:40:48,740 Mr. Snuggles and I to sleep together and-- 735 00:40:48,740 --> 00:40:49,960 - That's wonderful, ma'am. 736 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:51,600 And exactly how many nights will you 737 00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:54,020 and Mr. Snuggles be staying with us? 738 00:40:54,020 --> 00:40:55,160 - Hey. 739 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:57,350 (catchy piano music) 740 00:40:57,350 --> 00:41:00,410 - Well, you see, we have to be in Phoenix by the 1st, 741 00:41:01,270 --> 00:41:04,413 but Mr. Snuggles really likes that rainbow. 742 00:41:05,465 --> 00:41:07,960 - Wake up, wake up, wake up. 743 00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:09,700 - And if the spirit guides still want me 744 00:41:09,700 --> 00:41:13,470 to stop in Chicago, well then-- 745 00:41:13,470 --> 00:41:14,780 - Ma'am, I really need to get this 746 00:41:14,780 --> 00:41:16,193 reservation taken care of. 747 00:41:17,439 --> 00:41:20,074 (dog whimpers) 748 00:41:20,074 --> 00:41:23,260 I'm sorry, spring is coming, and it's so busy, 749 00:41:23,260 --> 00:41:25,890 and I keep seeing internet reservations filling up, 750 00:41:25,890 --> 00:41:28,549 and I'd hate for you to miss your room 751 00:41:28,549 --> 00:41:30,500 because of the internet. 752 00:41:30,500 --> 00:41:32,660 - Oh, well yes, then we must hurry. 753 00:41:32,660 --> 00:41:34,900 The spirit guides were right to guide me to you, 754 00:41:34,900 --> 00:41:38,050 they always know who I must be calling. 755 00:41:38,050 --> 00:41:40,800 - Okay, so what dates? 756 00:41:40,800 --> 00:41:43,130 - Oh, I can't wait to meet you in person, 757 00:41:43,130 --> 00:41:46,110 and introduce you to Mr. Snuggles, 758 00:41:46,110 --> 00:41:47,920 and that field of positive energy 759 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:51,830 makes every guest a spiritual pilgrim 760 00:41:51,830 --> 00:41:54,959 by filling them up with white lights. 761 00:41:54,959 --> 00:41:58,162 (catchy piano music) 762 00:41:58,162 --> 00:42:00,170 (dog barks) 763 00:42:00,170 --> 00:42:01,430 - I hope you enjoy your stay with us, 764 00:42:01,430 --> 00:42:02,780 thank you so much, goodbye. 765 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:06,170 So much for the field of positive energy. 766 00:42:08,903 --> 00:42:12,653 - Forget the coffee, forget the coffee. 767 00:42:14,780 --> 00:42:16,130 I'm sorry. 768 00:42:16,130 --> 00:42:18,930 Herbert sleepwalks when he's in strange places. 769 00:42:18,930 --> 00:42:20,647 I'm taking him back now. 770 00:42:22,750 --> 00:42:25,333 (catchy music) 771 00:42:31,332 --> 00:42:32,165 (laughing) 772 00:42:32,165 --> 00:42:33,580 - Of course! 773 00:42:33,580 --> 00:42:35,617 You didn't really think that there was 774 00:42:35,617 --> 00:42:38,680 a zombie in the hotel, did you? 775 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:41,670 - Well, I mean, not a real zombie, 776 00:42:41,670 --> 00:42:46,200 but like, that Herbert dude and his wife, they were weird. 777 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,180 So I'm starting to think about this time 778 00:42:48,180 --> 00:42:50,700 that there was a moldy room, 779 00:42:50,700 --> 00:42:53,240 and he's been breathing too much of that mold, 780 00:42:53,240 --> 00:42:56,320 'cause that might explain what was wrong with him. 781 00:42:56,320 --> 00:42:57,750 And I'm starting to think too 782 00:42:57,750 --> 00:43:00,520 that that crazy positive, white light, 783 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:03,550 rainbow, reservation spirit dog lady, 784 00:43:03,550 --> 00:43:06,290 that she stayed in that same room last spring, 785 00:43:06,290 --> 00:43:07,940 'cause there was definitely something wrong with her. 786 00:43:07,940 --> 00:43:12,870 - Speaking of spring, I'm certain that the hotel 787 00:43:12,870 --> 00:43:14,600 was very busy at that time, 788 00:43:14,600 --> 00:43:19,530 however, November should be much calmer, 789 00:43:19,530 --> 00:43:24,040 so why do you think that you were feeling 790 00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:27,253 so agitated in November? 791 00:43:28,302 --> 00:43:29,135 (laughing) 792 00:43:29,135 --> 00:43:32,140 - Do you know what happens in November? 793 00:43:32,140 --> 00:43:35,310 November is hunting season. 794 00:43:35,310 --> 00:43:38,690 Did you know that hunters like to stay in the hotel 795 00:43:38,690 --> 00:43:41,140 so they can be closer to the woods? 796 00:43:41,140 --> 00:43:43,200 Yeah. And not the serious hunters, 797 00:43:43,200 --> 00:43:45,410 just those idiots who watch too much 798 00:43:45,410 --> 00:43:46,650 of the Outdoor Channel, 799 00:43:46,650 --> 00:43:48,450 and now they all think they're Davy Crockett, 800 00:43:48,450 --> 00:43:49,710 and they're gonna go tromping off 801 00:43:49,710 --> 00:43:50,700 to the woods in the morning, 802 00:43:50,700 --> 00:43:53,647 after having a big party in the hotel the night before. 803 00:43:55,353 --> 00:43:58,353 (catchy rock music) 804 00:44:05,380 --> 00:44:08,400 ♪ We're the honeysuck ♪ 805 00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:11,150 (animal calling) 806 00:44:13,199 --> 00:44:14,032 - [Woman] Jesus, honey! 807 00:44:14,032 --> 00:44:16,550 It's so freakin' noisy around here, 808 00:44:16,550 --> 00:44:18,262 nobody can sleep around here. 809 00:44:18,262 --> 00:44:20,630 What's going on with all this noise? 810 00:44:20,630 --> 00:44:22,382 - All right, I'll see what I can do! 811 00:44:22,382 --> 00:44:23,215 Aye! 812 00:44:23,215 --> 00:44:25,030 Aye, you people over there, 813 00:44:25,030 --> 00:44:26,370 we're trying to sleep! 814 00:44:26,370 --> 00:44:29,013 You're making my wife angry, would you shut up? 815 00:44:30,241 --> 00:44:32,991 (animal calling) 816 00:44:36,269 --> 00:44:39,019 (guitar picking) 817 00:44:41,710 --> 00:44:44,210 (phone rings) 818 00:44:45,100 --> 00:44:46,360 - Hello. 819 00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:47,660 - Oh good, you're still up. 820 00:44:47,660 --> 00:44:49,410 You're staying home this hunting season, right? 821 00:44:49,410 --> 00:44:51,710 - No, I'm not going hunting this year. 822 00:44:51,710 --> 00:44:53,360 Too many drunken idiots out. 823 00:44:53,360 --> 00:44:56,120 - Yeah, well, I've got a whole building full of them. 824 00:44:56,120 --> 00:44:57,230 - I can imagine. 825 00:44:57,230 --> 00:44:58,680 - Yeah, there's no way they're gonna sober up 826 00:44:58,680 --> 00:45:00,580 before they go into the woods. 827 00:45:00,580 --> 00:45:02,000 - No, I think this year I'm just gonna 828 00:45:02,000 --> 00:45:03,740 hunt a dead cow in aisle 12. 829 00:45:03,740 --> 00:45:04,693 Call it a day. 830 00:45:05,644 --> 00:45:07,770 - Look, I'll call the front desk. 831 00:45:07,770 --> 00:45:10,100 - I gotta go, I got another call. 832 00:45:10,100 --> 00:45:11,580 - Okay, yep, love you too. 833 00:45:11,580 --> 00:45:12,413 Bye. 834 00:45:15,115 --> 00:45:18,270 (guitar picking) 835 00:45:18,270 --> 00:45:19,243 - Front desk. 836 00:45:20,380 --> 00:45:21,900 - Yes, ma'am. 837 00:45:21,900 --> 00:45:22,753 This is room 204. 838 00:45:24,030 --> 00:45:27,000 There are drunk people making noise 839 00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:29,100 on the other side of our room, 840 00:45:29,100 --> 00:45:32,172 and my wife can't sleep. 841 00:45:32,172 --> 00:45:33,710 (animal calling) 842 00:45:33,710 --> 00:45:35,450 - Is the noise coming from the side with your bed 843 00:45:35,450 --> 00:45:37,381 or the side with your TV? 844 00:45:37,381 --> 00:45:38,670 - Huh? 845 00:45:38,670 --> 00:45:40,580 - Which side is the noise coming from, 846 00:45:40,580 --> 00:45:41,780 the side with your bed, 847 00:45:41,780 --> 00:45:44,142 or the side that has your TV on it? 848 00:45:44,142 --> 00:45:44,975 - Huh? 849 00:45:46,871 --> 00:45:48,680 It's the right side! 850 00:45:48,680 --> 00:45:51,123 - Are you facing the window or the doorway? 851 00:45:53,290 --> 00:45:56,170 - What's it matter which way I'm facing? 852 00:45:56,170 --> 00:46:00,320 The noise is coming from the right! 853 00:46:00,320 --> 00:46:02,400 Now don't tell me you're so dumb 854 00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:04,290 that you can't tell the difference 855 00:46:04,290 --> 00:46:07,090 between your left and your right! 856 00:46:07,090 --> 00:46:08,680 - No sir, but I can't tell the difference 857 00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:09,820 between your left and right 858 00:46:09,820 --> 00:46:11,950 unless I know which way you're facing. 859 00:46:11,950 --> 00:46:14,108 - The right side. 860 00:46:14,108 --> 00:46:16,083 - Uh huh, the right side, got it. 861 00:46:17,249 --> 00:46:19,999 (animal calling) 862 00:46:24,120 --> 00:46:25,103 - Front desk. 863 00:46:26,090 --> 00:46:28,490 - There's a lot of noise in my room. 864 00:46:28,490 --> 00:46:30,120 - Is the noise coming from the side with your bed 865 00:46:30,120 --> 00:46:31,513 or the side with your TV? 866 00:46:33,060 --> 00:46:34,233 - The side with the TV. 867 00:46:35,460 --> 00:46:36,293 - Thank you, sir. 868 00:46:36,293 --> 00:46:37,220 I'll get right on that. 869 00:46:41,351 --> 00:46:44,101 (animal calling) 870 00:46:45,408 --> 00:46:48,075 (phone ringing) 871 00:46:48,965 --> 00:46:51,215 (laughing) 872 00:46:52,597 --> 00:46:55,127 (animal calling) 873 00:46:55,127 --> 00:46:56,340 You're making so much noise 874 00:46:56,340 --> 00:46:57,840 you can't even hear the phone. 875 00:46:59,356 --> 00:47:01,356 (sighs) 876 00:47:05,976 --> 00:47:07,080 (knocking) 877 00:47:07,080 --> 00:47:08,603 Front desk. 878 00:47:08,603 --> 00:47:10,183 (laughing) 879 00:47:10,183 --> 00:47:13,170 (knocking) 880 00:47:13,170 --> 00:47:15,520 Everybody's having more fun than me. 881 00:47:15,520 --> 00:47:18,890 Look, I can give you another room on another floor, 882 00:47:18,890 --> 00:47:20,720 to get you away from the noise. 883 00:47:20,720 --> 00:47:23,200 - Why the hell should I have to change rooms? 884 00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:24,367 You throw them out! 885 00:47:25,701 --> 00:47:26,810 - Well, I can hardly throw them out 886 00:47:26,810 --> 00:47:28,460 if they don't answer the door. 887 00:47:28,460 --> 00:47:31,839 - Get a security guard up here to do it. 888 00:47:31,839 --> 00:47:34,770 - We don't have a security guard. (laughs) 889 00:47:34,770 --> 00:47:37,310 - Well, then you better get someone else 890 00:47:37,310 --> 00:47:38,542 up here to do it. 891 00:47:38,542 --> 00:47:39,375 (laughs) 892 00:47:39,375 --> 00:47:40,560 - I'm the only one here. 893 00:47:40,560 --> 00:47:42,289 What do you want me to do? 894 00:47:42,289 --> 00:47:43,990 - Then what the hell am I paying so much money for? 895 00:47:43,990 --> 00:47:46,243 - I don't know, I get minimum wage. 896 00:47:48,530 --> 00:47:50,650 Sounds like maybe they passed out. 897 00:47:50,650 --> 00:47:53,150 You'll probably be good now, have a good night. 898 00:47:53,150 --> 00:47:54,270 - Have a good ni... 899 00:47:55,670 --> 00:47:56,503 What? 900 00:47:57,950 --> 00:48:01,593 - Breakfast was a complete nightmare that day. 901 00:48:04,644 --> 00:48:07,644 (microwave beeping) 902 00:48:18,509 --> 00:48:21,259 (animal calling) 903 00:48:24,932 --> 00:48:27,932 (catchy rock music) 904 00:48:32,537 --> 00:48:33,886 - Oh! 905 00:48:33,886 --> 00:48:38,886 - Oh, hey girl, hey girl! 906 00:48:44,077 --> 00:48:45,823 - Momma, look, no pants! 907 00:48:47,900 --> 00:48:48,733 - Good heavens! 908 00:48:52,673 --> 00:48:55,506 (whimsical music) 909 00:48:58,334 --> 00:49:01,084 (animal calling) 910 00:49:07,033 --> 00:49:08,362 - Already? 911 00:49:08,362 --> 00:49:10,284 (whimsical music) 912 00:49:10,284 --> 00:49:12,617 (squawking) 913 00:49:19,098 --> 00:49:21,331 - You ready to catch us a big buck today? 914 00:49:21,331 --> 00:49:22,279 - I hope so. 915 00:49:22,279 --> 00:49:23,880 - Oh yeah. 916 00:49:23,880 --> 00:49:25,108 - I want a big ol' trophy. 917 00:49:25,108 --> 00:49:25,941 - Aw yeah. 918 00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:30,040 Hey, she's bringing out some waffles. 919 00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:31,480 - Oh, that sounds good. 920 00:49:36,020 --> 00:49:36,870 That's not right. 921 00:49:39,997 --> 00:49:41,390 (squawking) 922 00:49:41,390 --> 00:49:42,223 - Excuse me, ma'am. 923 00:49:42,223 --> 00:49:43,760 Can I get some waffles out here? 924 00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:45,480 - I just put waffles out there. 925 00:49:45,480 --> 00:49:46,969 - There's none out there. 926 00:49:46,969 --> 00:49:47,802 - Ugh. 927 00:49:51,021 --> 00:49:53,105 What the heck did they do with the tray? 928 00:49:53,105 --> 00:49:55,855 (animal calling) 929 00:49:57,237 --> 00:49:59,320 - Go, go, go, go, go, go! 930 00:50:00,446 --> 00:50:02,736 - What the hell is that? 931 00:50:02,736 --> 00:50:05,486 (animal calling) 932 00:50:10,162 --> 00:50:12,412 (laughing) 933 00:50:13,849 --> 00:50:16,599 (animal calling) 934 00:50:19,876 --> 00:50:21,698 - Go, go, go! 935 00:50:21,698 --> 00:50:24,448 (animal calling) 936 00:50:42,734 --> 00:50:45,401 (western music) 937 00:50:47,617 --> 00:50:50,534 - I think there's gonna be a fight. 938 00:50:52,227 --> 00:50:54,644 - Ah hell no, that's my Caticorn. 939 00:50:56,528 --> 00:50:58,176 - Stop! 940 00:50:58,176 --> 00:51:00,457 There's one for each of you. 941 00:51:00,457 --> 00:51:01,345 - Huh? 942 00:51:01,345 --> 00:51:03,840 - Let go, let go! 943 00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:06,400 There you go, there you go. 944 00:51:06,400 --> 00:51:07,233 Enjoy. 945 00:51:12,557 --> 00:51:15,307 (animal calling) 946 00:51:24,830 --> 00:51:26,780 - They need to send you in here earlier 947 00:51:26,780 --> 00:51:28,080 if they're gonna let those hunters 948 00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:29,430 eat breakfast so early. 949 00:51:29,430 --> 00:51:33,040 They tore this place apart, and it's a wreck now. 950 00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:35,730 - I told Mrs. Hedwig not to let those hunters 951 00:51:35,730 --> 00:51:37,060 have breakfast early. 952 00:51:37,060 --> 00:51:38,560 Send them to the woods hungry, 953 00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:40,262 they'll get more deer that way. 954 00:51:40,262 --> 00:51:41,720 - Exactly, exactly. 955 00:51:41,720 --> 00:51:43,120 - I ain't no rock scientist, 956 00:51:43,120 --> 00:51:44,840 but I can tell you when something don't look right, 957 00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,130 and her letting those hunters eat breakfast early, 958 00:51:47,130 --> 00:51:48,610 that don't look right at all. 959 00:51:48,610 --> 00:51:50,580 - No geology for you, huh? 960 00:51:50,580 --> 00:51:52,161 - Huh? - Huh? 961 00:51:52,161 --> 00:51:53,171 - Huh? 962 00:51:53,171 --> 00:51:54,820 - Huh? 963 00:51:54,820 --> 00:51:56,170 - I think there is something going on 964 00:51:56,170 --> 00:51:57,777 with her and one of those hunters though. 965 00:51:57,777 --> 00:51:58,610 - [Michelle] Yeah? 966 00:51:58,610 --> 00:51:59,657 - And the maintenance man too. 967 00:51:59,657 --> 00:52:00,505 - Al? 968 00:52:00,505 --> 00:52:01,600 - Mhm. 969 00:52:01,600 --> 00:52:02,433 - What? 970 00:52:02,433 --> 00:52:04,860 - Yeah, and you know that big meeting we have today? 971 00:52:04,860 --> 00:52:07,030 - Yeah, 'cause I gotta clock out at seven, 972 00:52:07,030 --> 00:52:08,400 and then stay here until eight, 973 00:52:08,400 --> 00:52:09,480 'cause by the time I drive home, 974 00:52:09,480 --> 00:52:11,740 I'll have to turn around and come right back again. 975 00:52:11,740 --> 00:52:12,630 - Well, that sucks. 976 00:52:12,630 --> 00:52:13,463 - Yeah. 977 00:52:13,463 --> 00:52:14,320 - I'll tell you what though, 978 00:52:14,320 --> 00:52:15,750 I'll tell you what she ain't gonna say, 979 00:52:15,750 --> 00:52:18,170 she ain't gonna say what she's doing at that meeting. 980 00:52:18,170 --> 00:52:19,003 - What? 981 00:52:19,003 --> 00:52:21,020 - She has one of those shopping addictions. 982 00:52:21,020 --> 00:52:22,712 - Yeah? - Yeah. 983 00:52:22,712 --> 00:52:23,545 And she got kicked out of her house 984 00:52:23,545 --> 00:52:25,950 because she couldn't pay her rent or nothing, 985 00:52:25,950 --> 00:52:28,430 and then she's living up on here on the second floor 986 00:52:28,430 --> 00:52:30,300 in one of those one room suites 987 00:52:30,300 --> 00:52:32,913 with the whirlypool tub and stuff. 988 00:52:33,930 --> 00:52:35,860 - That's why it's been down for maintenance, 989 00:52:35,860 --> 00:52:37,087 that's been like a month now. 990 00:52:37,087 --> 00:52:38,610 - That's what I heard. 991 00:52:38,610 --> 00:52:39,990 You know what I also heard? 992 00:52:39,990 --> 00:52:40,823 - What? 993 00:52:40,823 --> 00:52:41,656 - You know that Candi girl that works 994 00:52:41,656 --> 00:52:42,950 on the weekends sometimes and stuff? 995 00:52:42,950 --> 00:52:44,740 Yeah, I guess she's real sick, 996 00:52:44,740 --> 00:52:46,520 and she has to have her gallbladder out. 997 00:52:46,520 --> 00:52:47,353 - Gross. 998 00:52:47,353 --> 00:52:48,260 Please don't tell me about it. 999 00:52:48,260 --> 00:52:49,367 - Well, you know, it's really bad 1000 00:52:49,367 --> 00:52:51,080 about having your gallbladder out. 1001 00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:52,710 My momma had her gallbladder out, 1002 00:52:52,710 --> 00:52:54,170 and I'm telling you what, 1003 00:52:54,170 --> 00:52:57,130 anything she eats, she just poops all over the place. 1004 00:52:57,130 --> 00:52:59,500 It's all the time, diarrhea everywhere. 1005 00:52:59,500 --> 00:53:01,150 - I gotta go, gotta go, gotta go. 1006 00:53:05,630 --> 00:53:06,463 - Hey, Michelle. 1007 00:53:07,610 --> 00:53:09,157 You can go ahead and go home if you want. 1008 00:53:09,157 --> 00:53:10,270 - No, I already clocked out, 1009 00:53:10,270 --> 00:53:11,650 but I gotta go to that meeting. 1010 00:53:11,650 --> 00:53:12,609 - Ah. 1011 00:53:12,609 --> 00:53:13,442 - Ugh. 1012 00:53:16,245 --> 00:53:18,912 (water running) 1013 00:53:22,771 --> 00:53:23,604 - Oh! 1014 00:53:25,870 --> 00:53:26,703 Michelle? 1015 00:53:27,591 --> 00:53:28,661 (whimsical music) 1016 00:53:28,661 --> 00:53:29,494 - [Michelle] Yeah? 1017 00:53:29,494 --> 00:53:30,831 - Did you do the laundry last night? 1018 00:53:30,831 --> 00:53:32,118 - No, it was down when I got here. 1019 00:53:32,118 --> 00:53:33,868 - Have you seen this? 1020 00:53:37,998 --> 00:53:38,831 - No. 1021 00:53:38,831 --> 00:53:39,731 (wires sparking) 1022 00:53:39,731 --> 00:53:41,922 That's gotta be coming from room 206. 1023 00:53:41,922 --> 00:53:44,755 (whimsical music) 1024 00:53:50,691 --> 00:53:51,801 It's gotta be in the bathroom. 1025 00:53:51,801 --> 00:53:52,634 - It's stuck. 1026 00:53:52,634 --> 00:53:54,459 Michelle, can you give me... 1027 00:53:54,459 --> 00:53:55,361 A hand! 1028 00:53:55,361 --> 00:53:56,451 A hand! 1029 00:53:56,451 --> 00:53:57,939 - Where are you going? 1030 00:53:57,939 --> 00:53:59,348 Where are you going? 1031 00:53:59,348 --> 00:54:01,710 Hey, where are you going? 1032 00:54:01,710 --> 00:54:03,150 Where are you going? 1033 00:54:03,150 --> 00:54:05,983 (whimsical music) 1034 00:54:10,910 --> 00:54:12,398 Go to Hedwig's office! 1035 00:54:12,398 --> 00:54:13,960 Go to Hedwig's office! 1036 00:54:13,960 --> 00:54:17,330 - I need an ambulance at the Sleepytime Inn, 1037 00:54:17,330 --> 00:54:18,350 there's a dead body. 1038 00:54:19,300 --> 00:54:21,319 Okay, thank you. 1039 00:54:21,319 --> 00:54:22,427 The ambulance is on its way. 1040 00:54:22,427 --> 00:54:24,483 You stay here, and keep everyone calm. 1041 00:54:34,100 --> 00:54:35,683 - It must just be a rumor. 1042 00:54:35,683 --> 00:54:37,683 - Yeah, right. 1043 00:54:37,683 --> 00:54:40,350 (siren blaring) 1044 00:54:41,870 --> 00:54:44,053 - Mary called and told me what happened. 1045 00:54:44,053 --> 00:54:46,195 I'll talk over down here off the clock. 1046 00:54:46,195 --> 00:54:48,862 (siren blaring) 1047 00:54:50,170 --> 00:54:51,568 - Stop! 1048 00:54:51,568 --> 00:54:53,267 Stop right there! 1049 00:54:53,267 --> 00:54:56,017 (eventful music) 1050 00:54:59,000 --> 00:55:01,410 - The naked guy was all wet when he knocked into me. 1051 00:55:01,410 --> 00:55:03,370 Got my shirt all gross. 1052 00:55:03,370 --> 00:55:05,270 Then I had to go find Mary and find out 1053 00:55:05,270 --> 00:55:07,560 how she was faring after her public meltdown 1054 00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:09,093 over the body that wasn't. 1055 00:55:11,320 --> 00:55:12,153 - Michelle! 1056 00:55:13,211 --> 00:55:14,979 (laughing) 1057 00:55:14,979 --> 00:55:15,812 - [Michelle] What happened? 1058 00:55:15,812 --> 00:55:18,480 - So, he wasn't dead, he had passed out, 1059 00:55:18,480 --> 00:55:22,670 he was drunk, and his washcloth clogged the drain. 1060 00:55:22,670 --> 00:55:25,140 When the police got here, he woke up, 1061 00:55:25,140 --> 00:55:29,151 and ran outside naked, and right into you. 1062 00:55:29,151 --> 00:55:30,390 (laughing) 1063 00:55:30,390 --> 00:55:31,410 - Hey, Mary. 1064 00:55:31,410 --> 00:55:32,243 - Yeah? 1065 00:55:32,243 --> 00:55:34,296 - So, where do you think he was hiding the truck keys? 1066 00:55:34,296 --> 00:55:36,546 (laughing) 1067 00:55:40,240 --> 00:55:41,960 And because of that fiasco, 1068 00:55:41,960 --> 00:55:43,303 I had to stay up again the next day 1069 00:55:43,303 --> 00:55:46,550 because the meeting got postponed again. 1070 00:55:46,550 --> 00:55:50,870 - That must've been very frustrating for you, 1071 00:55:50,870 --> 00:55:54,883 but do you consider yourself a team player? 1072 00:55:55,890 --> 00:55:57,320 - It's hard to be a team player 1073 00:55:57,320 --> 00:55:59,323 when you're on a team with Marcy. 1074 00:56:00,180 --> 00:56:01,040 - Oh, please. 1075 00:56:01,040 --> 00:56:02,663 She can't be that bad. 1076 00:56:03,790 --> 00:56:05,580 (laughing) 1077 00:56:05,580 --> 00:56:08,350 - Okay, we need to clean up after ourselves more, 1078 00:56:08,350 --> 00:56:09,810 we need to be nicer to the guests, 1079 00:56:09,810 --> 00:56:13,560 and we need to not call off work for any reason ever. 1080 00:56:13,560 --> 00:56:14,780 We all need to be on time, 1081 00:56:14,780 --> 00:56:17,040 and not cause employees overtime, 1082 00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:19,220 because paying anyone time and a half 1083 00:56:19,220 --> 00:56:22,840 is gonna make the owner's colon spontaneously combust. 1084 00:56:22,840 --> 00:56:24,900 Upper management has decided to suspend 1085 00:56:24,900 --> 00:56:27,210 the practice of giving commissions to desk personnel 1086 00:56:27,210 --> 00:56:28,350 for upselling rooms. 1087 00:56:28,350 --> 00:56:29,704 - [Employee] What? 1088 00:56:29,704 --> 00:56:30,760 Aw, come on! 1089 00:56:30,760 --> 00:56:31,593 - [Employee] Damn! 1090 00:56:31,593 --> 00:56:33,500 - [Hedwig] I know, I know, I understand. 1091 00:56:33,500 --> 00:56:35,470 I don't think it's fair either, 1092 00:56:35,470 --> 00:56:37,910 but they had just said that they had come to that decision. 1093 00:56:37,910 --> 00:56:39,630 - Well, they're gonna lose a lot of money 1094 00:56:39,630 --> 00:56:41,810 if nobody upsells the rooms. 1095 00:56:41,810 --> 00:56:45,620 - Oh no, no, you're still required to upsell the rooms. 1096 00:56:45,620 --> 00:56:47,880 - Nowhere in my job description does it say 1097 00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:49,560 I have to upsell rooms. 1098 00:56:49,560 --> 00:56:51,070 I'm not gonna upsell rooms. 1099 00:56:51,070 --> 00:56:52,890 Come on, they can't do this to us, 1100 00:56:52,890 --> 00:56:53,810 they can't make us do this, 1101 00:56:53,810 --> 00:56:55,440 it's not in the job descriptions. 1102 00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:56,890 If we all stick together, 1103 00:56:56,890 --> 00:56:58,570 they'll have to give us the commission back 1104 00:56:58,570 --> 00:57:02,020 because they'll lose so much money if nobody upsells. 1105 00:57:02,020 --> 00:57:03,510 - Now wait a minute, it is your job 1106 00:57:03,510 --> 00:57:06,610 to make as much money for this hotel as possible. 1107 00:57:06,610 --> 00:57:09,330 This hotel is providing you with employment, 1108 00:57:09,330 --> 00:57:12,100 friendship, a place to go every day. 1109 00:57:12,100 --> 00:57:14,520 You're part of a community. 1110 00:57:14,520 --> 00:57:15,390 - No, no. 1111 00:57:15,390 --> 00:57:18,800 If I get paid the same to charge $50 a night 1112 00:57:18,800 --> 00:57:22,457 as I do $100 a night, why the hell should I waste my time 1113 00:57:22,457 --> 00:57:25,030 and the guest's patience by haggling with them. 1114 00:57:25,030 --> 00:57:26,760 No, there's nothing in it for me, 1115 00:57:26,760 --> 00:57:28,960 and I don't have to do it, I'm not doing it. 1116 00:57:31,940 --> 00:57:33,340 - I will upsell the rooms! 1117 00:57:33,340 --> 00:57:35,030 It is my duty to make this company 1118 00:57:35,030 --> 00:57:37,590 as much money as possible. 1119 00:57:37,590 --> 00:57:40,150 I'm very appreciative of this opportunity, 1120 00:57:40,150 --> 00:57:43,430 and I will not bite the hand that feeds me. 1121 00:57:43,430 --> 00:57:46,450 I take my responsibility very serious-- 1122 00:57:46,450 --> 00:57:49,483 - You just want to keep your crack income coming in. 1123 00:57:51,210 --> 00:57:53,260 - Take a light and enjoy the flight, huh? 1124 00:57:54,470 --> 00:57:56,670 I appreciate the opportunity 1125 00:57:56,670 --> 00:57:59,130 that has been given to me at this hotel. 1126 00:57:59,130 --> 00:58:01,290 Without it, I probably wouldn't even have a job 1127 00:58:01,290 --> 00:58:02,300 in this little town. 1128 00:58:02,300 --> 00:58:05,460 Without it, I'd be homeless and destitute. 1129 00:58:05,460 --> 00:58:07,300 But because of these wonderful people 1130 00:58:07,300 --> 00:58:09,440 at the Sleepytime Inn, 1131 00:58:09,440 --> 00:58:11,090 they've been so good to all of us employees 1132 00:58:11,090 --> 00:58:13,000 and the entire community. 1133 00:58:13,000 --> 00:58:14,743 - By doing what? 1134 00:58:16,100 --> 00:58:19,630 - By putting this town on the map! 1135 00:58:19,630 --> 00:58:21,610 Bringing in tourism. 1136 00:58:21,610 --> 00:58:22,730 - Tourism? 1137 00:58:22,730 --> 00:58:24,400 Nobody comes here to tour. 1138 00:58:24,400 --> 00:58:26,100 They just stop off the interstate, 1139 00:58:26,100 --> 00:58:27,490 stay in the building for the night, 1140 00:58:27,490 --> 00:58:29,283 and move on to the next place. 1141 00:58:30,540 --> 00:58:32,840 - Well, not only do you not appreciate this job, 1142 00:58:32,840 --> 00:58:34,253 you don't like this town. 1143 00:58:37,560 --> 00:58:39,960 - Are you people actually falling for this crap? 1144 00:58:41,430 --> 00:58:42,263 Seriously? 1145 00:58:43,400 --> 00:58:45,170 I am never gonna upsell a room again. 1146 00:58:45,170 --> 00:58:48,330 In fact, I am going to give a discount for everything, 1147 00:58:48,330 --> 00:58:49,670 every little thing I can think of 1148 00:58:49,670 --> 00:58:51,750 to give a discount for, I will. 1149 00:58:51,750 --> 00:58:54,123 Go ahead, fire me, please! 1150 00:58:55,360 --> 00:58:56,270 - Bitch. 1151 00:58:56,270 --> 00:58:58,920 - She's probably just cranky from being up all night. 1152 00:59:02,360 --> 00:59:04,453 - Why do you think they didn't fire you? 1153 00:59:05,510 --> 00:59:07,600 - Because I actually do my job. 1154 00:59:07,600 --> 00:59:10,320 I actually show up every night on time 1155 00:59:10,320 --> 00:59:13,490 and do what I'm supposed to, unlike Marcy. 1156 00:59:13,490 --> 00:59:15,870 - Your job must've been very stressful 1157 00:59:15,870 --> 00:59:17,850 for your family as well. 1158 00:59:17,850 --> 00:59:19,530 - Yeah, as a matter of fact, 1159 00:59:19,530 --> 00:59:21,630 Thanksgiving was right after that meeting. 1160 00:59:22,473 --> 00:59:25,223 (wondrous music) 1161 00:59:29,593 --> 00:59:31,480 Ugh, thank you so much for cooking 1162 00:59:31,480 --> 00:59:32,740 Thanksgiving dinner this year, 1163 00:59:32,740 --> 00:59:34,930 I'm so happy to spend it with the family. 1164 00:59:34,930 --> 00:59:37,430 - Thank you for coming over and helping me, 1165 00:59:37,430 --> 00:59:38,870 and helping me clean up, 1166 00:59:38,870 --> 00:59:42,000 especially since you worked last night. 1167 00:59:42,000 --> 00:59:44,333 - Yeah, I get to go in tonight too. 1168 00:59:45,230 --> 00:59:46,510 - Are you kidding? 1169 00:59:46,510 --> 00:59:48,814 I thought you would finally get some sleep tonight. 1170 00:59:48,814 --> 00:59:49,690 (laughing) 1171 00:59:49,690 --> 00:59:52,460 - I never get sleep, that doesn't happen, 1172 00:59:52,460 --> 00:59:54,803 you can't sleep when you work the night shift. 1173 00:59:55,720 --> 00:59:57,780 - Girl, I really wish you could get a new job. 1174 00:59:57,780 --> 01:00:00,222 - I don't have time, I'm too tired to look for one. 1175 01:00:00,222 --> 01:00:01,130 (laughing) 1176 01:00:01,130 --> 01:00:02,800 - I hear you. 1177 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:04,400 I can relate to tired. 1178 01:00:04,400 --> 01:00:06,200 I'm tired of doing these dishes, 1179 01:00:06,200 --> 01:00:08,670 and my hands are starting to prune up. 1180 01:00:08,670 --> 01:00:09,800 - Are they chapped? 1181 01:00:09,800 --> 01:00:12,290 - Yeah, they're not feeling too good. 1182 01:00:12,290 --> 01:00:14,160 - [Michelle] Check this out. 1183 01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:16,270 - Uncle John's Zombie Lube? 1184 01:00:16,270 --> 01:00:17,277 - [Michelle] Yeah. 1185 01:00:17,277 --> 01:00:18,110 (laughing) 1186 01:00:18,110 --> 01:00:19,124 - You sure this is for the hands? 1187 01:00:19,124 --> 01:00:21,310 And where did this come from? 1188 01:00:21,310 --> 01:00:23,313 - Some nut from the hotel gave it to me. 1189 01:00:24,480 --> 01:00:27,396 - Oh, I might just go ahead and... 1190 01:00:27,396 --> 01:00:28,480 (laughing) 1191 01:00:28,480 --> 01:00:29,836 Finish dishes. 1192 01:00:29,836 --> 01:00:32,720 (laughing) 1193 01:00:32,720 --> 01:00:33,950 - I need a new job. 1194 01:00:33,950 --> 01:00:35,000 - Oh, honey. 1195 01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:37,260 - So, you having a good Thanksgiving, Rick? 1196 01:00:37,260 --> 01:00:39,370 - Yeah, it looks like the girls are too, 1197 01:00:39,370 --> 01:00:41,760 they're already out there drinking the wine. 1198 01:00:41,760 --> 01:00:43,670 - Yeah, that figures. 1199 01:00:43,670 --> 01:00:45,310 - So, how's everything else going? 1200 01:00:45,310 --> 01:00:47,830 - Ugh, it's not. 1201 01:00:47,830 --> 01:00:50,010 Do you remember Hedwig, my boss? 1202 01:00:50,010 --> 01:00:51,155 - Oh, how could I forgot. 1203 01:00:51,155 --> 01:00:53,323 - Yeah, and Al the maintenance man. 1204 01:00:53,323 --> 01:00:54,675 - Ew, yes. 1205 01:00:54,675 --> 01:00:56,560 - They're having an affair. 1206 01:00:56,560 --> 01:00:57,940 - Oh, I was hoping that was not 1207 01:00:57,940 --> 01:00:59,140 what you were gonna say. 1208 01:00:59,140 --> 01:01:00,943 - Michelle got work tonight? 1209 01:01:00,943 --> 01:01:02,416 - I gotta go to work tonight, 1210 01:01:02,416 --> 01:01:03,910 I don't want to go to work. 1211 01:01:03,910 --> 01:01:05,630 - She's always gotta work. 1212 01:01:05,630 --> 01:01:06,870 - That sucks. 1213 01:01:06,870 --> 01:01:11,110 - This job sucks so bad, I should write a book. 1214 01:01:11,110 --> 01:01:13,460 I could make a movie, nobody would believe it. 1215 01:01:13,460 --> 01:01:16,000 I could, I could make a whole movie out of this. 1216 01:01:16,000 --> 01:01:18,550 - Tell me about it, I have to sleep alone at night. 1217 01:01:19,463 --> 01:01:21,190 - And probably, if I could get some sleep, 1218 01:01:21,190 --> 01:01:22,240 I wouldn't hate it so much, 1219 01:01:22,240 --> 01:01:24,630 but you cannot believe how many things 1220 01:01:24,630 --> 01:01:26,690 that you have to do between, like, 1221 01:01:26,690 --> 01:01:29,340 nine and five during daylight hours during the week, 1222 01:01:29,340 --> 01:01:31,290 until you aren't available to do them, 1223 01:01:31,290 --> 01:01:33,085 so that's when you're supposed to sleep. 1224 01:01:33,085 --> 01:01:36,690 (catchy rock music) 1225 01:01:36,690 --> 01:01:39,430 Any time that they are needed to do something, 1226 01:01:39,430 --> 01:01:40,690 they don't get it done 1227 01:01:40,690 --> 01:01:43,585 because they're always off in a room together somewhere, 1228 01:01:43,585 --> 01:01:45,253 and bleh, doing, you know-- 1229 01:01:45,253 --> 01:01:47,860 - Oh, it's getting done, I'm sure. 1230 01:01:47,860 --> 01:01:48,706 - Yeah. 1231 01:01:48,706 --> 01:01:51,136 - Do we always have to have Thanksgiving at Crystal's house? 1232 01:01:51,136 --> 01:01:53,507 This place is always fancy. 1233 01:01:53,507 --> 01:01:54,640 - No, I know you what you mean. 1234 01:01:54,640 --> 01:01:56,750 Yeah, it's a little too fancy for me. 1235 01:01:56,750 --> 01:01:59,344 - I would be calling human resources. 1236 01:01:59,344 --> 01:02:00,540 (laughing) 1237 01:02:00,540 --> 01:02:01,720 - I don't think that exists. 1238 01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:04,850 I don't think that exists in our hotel. 1239 01:02:04,850 --> 01:02:06,850 - Yeah, if working at the hotel paid Michelle 1240 01:02:06,850 --> 01:02:09,940 what Crystal makes, we'd be having the parties at my place. 1241 01:02:09,940 --> 01:02:11,100 - I'll drink to that. 1242 01:02:11,100 --> 01:02:13,650 - One of the day people said that they were gonna talk 1243 01:02:13,650 --> 01:02:16,155 to Mr. Pickens, the owner, but... 1244 01:02:16,155 --> 01:02:18,040 - Yeah, I was gonna say, where is he in all of this? 1245 01:02:18,040 --> 01:02:22,220 - Well, he's always off visiting ashrams and doing yoga, 1246 01:02:22,220 --> 01:02:23,790 and healing crystals. 1247 01:02:23,790 --> 01:02:25,880 I mean, he's a nice guy, but he's too nice. 1248 01:02:25,880 --> 01:02:26,713 You know what I mean? 1249 01:02:26,713 --> 01:02:27,820 He's used to everything is, you know, 1250 01:02:27,820 --> 01:02:30,824 one love, and we're all great, blah, blah, blah. 1251 01:02:30,824 --> 01:02:33,240 I bet if he thought he was losing money, 1252 01:02:33,240 --> 01:02:35,400 I bet he'd pay attention then. 1253 01:02:35,400 --> 01:02:36,960 - Right, because I always say, 1254 01:02:36,960 --> 01:02:39,420 the way to a man's heart isn't through his stomach, 1255 01:02:39,420 --> 01:02:40,913 it's through his wallet. 1256 01:02:41,960 --> 01:02:44,610 Sis, don't worry, it'll get better. 1257 01:02:44,610 --> 01:02:46,850 I mean, it's Black Friday, it won't be that busy, 1258 01:02:46,850 --> 01:02:48,403 everybody's shopping, right? 1259 01:02:49,360 --> 01:02:51,470 - Yeah, who's gonna stay at the hotel on Black Friday? 1260 01:02:51,470 --> 01:02:52,990 They'll all be at the stores, 1261 01:02:52,990 --> 01:02:57,470 or wherever they are visiting family or whatever already. 1262 01:02:57,470 --> 01:02:58,303 There's nothing. 1263 01:02:58,303 --> 01:03:00,937 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that'll be good, it'll be a quiet night. 1264 01:03:00,937 --> 01:03:02,760 - It'll be an easy night. 1265 01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:05,586 - Boy, was I wrong. 1266 01:03:05,586 --> 01:03:08,169 (catchy music) 1267 01:03:12,570 --> 01:03:14,050 - God, those people are dumb. 1268 01:03:14,050 --> 01:03:15,900 They're not even getting deals. 1269 01:03:15,900 --> 01:03:18,483 (catchy music) 1270 01:03:20,940 --> 01:03:22,770 You people are idiots! 1271 01:03:22,770 --> 01:03:25,370 It's last year's crap, you're not getting deals! 1272 01:03:25,370 --> 01:03:26,703 God, who falls for that? 1273 01:03:27,823 --> 01:03:29,573 Only idiots that get up that early. 1274 01:03:30,423 --> 01:03:33,006 (catchy music) 1275 01:03:33,850 --> 01:03:36,047 Oh my God, and they want me to leave breakfast 1276 01:03:36,047 --> 01:03:37,640 out for them early? 1277 01:03:37,640 --> 01:03:38,780 Somebody stayed at a hotel 1278 01:03:38,780 --> 01:03:40,950 to be with their family at Thanksgiving, 1279 01:03:40,950 --> 01:03:42,550 why would they want to get up and go shopping? 1280 01:03:42,550 --> 01:03:44,700 I mean, they already spent money on a hotel 1281 01:03:44,700 --> 01:03:46,120 to be in town with their family, 1282 01:03:46,120 --> 01:03:48,060 they'll probably spend it with their family. 1283 01:03:48,060 --> 01:03:49,462 Ridiculous. 1284 01:03:49,462 --> 01:03:52,045 (catchy music) 1285 01:03:54,016 --> 01:03:55,290 - We gotta hurry up and check out. 1286 01:03:55,290 --> 01:03:58,056 It's Black Friday, we are going shopping. 1287 01:03:58,056 --> 01:03:58,973 - Oh, okay. 1288 01:04:00,083 --> 01:04:01,284 This is you. 1289 01:04:01,284 --> 01:04:03,820 (catchy music) 1290 01:04:03,820 --> 01:04:04,820 - What time do you get off? 1291 01:04:04,820 --> 01:04:05,990 Are you stuck here all night? 1292 01:04:05,990 --> 01:04:07,433 - Just 'til seven. 1293 01:04:08,360 --> 01:04:11,625 - Oh my gosh, you're gonna miss all the best deals. 1294 01:04:11,625 --> 01:04:12,559 - Yeah. 1295 01:04:12,559 --> 01:04:13,492 Thanks. 1296 01:04:13,492 --> 01:04:14,892 - Thank you. 1297 01:04:14,892 --> 01:04:16,740 - [Michelle] Have fun. 1298 01:04:16,740 --> 01:04:19,692 - Hi, we're checking out from room 313. 1299 01:04:19,692 --> 01:04:21,140 We're checking out to find a deal, sorry. 1300 01:04:21,140 --> 01:04:21,973 - Oh, okay. 1301 01:04:23,720 --> 01:04:25,111 - Oh my God, do you see them? 1302 01:04:25,111 --> 01:04:27,694 (catchy music) 1303 01:04:30,190 --> 01:04:31,330 - Oh my goodness, what idiots. 1304 01:04:31,330 --> 01:04:32,963 - I know, they look so stupid. 1305 01:04:34,273 --> 01:04:35,820 - Here you go, just sign here. 1306 01:04:35,820 --> 01:04:36,890 - Okay. 1307 01:04:36,890 --> 01:04:38,830 - Did you at least have a good Thanksgiving 1308 01:04:38,830 --> 01:04:39,820 with your families? 1309 01:04:39,820 --> 01:04:40,653 - Oh no, we don't do Thanksgiving, 1310 01:04:40,653 --> 01:04:42,283 we're just here for the shopping. 1311 01:04:43,560 --> 01:04:44,393 - Thank you! 1312 01:04:44,393 --> 01:04:45,226 Have a great night! 1313 01:04:45,226 --> 01:04:46,059 - You too! 1314 01:04:48,543 --> 01:04:50,821 - Nobody does Thanksgiving anymore? 1315 01:04:50,821 --> 01:04:51,654 Shopping. 1316 01:04:52,653 --> 01:04:55,236 (catchy music) 1317 01:04:56,360 --> 01:04:57,193 Let me guess. 1318 01:04:57,193 --> 01:04:59,750 You guys are going Black Friday shopping? 1319 01:04:59,750 --> 01:05:00,600 - You guessed it. 1320 01:05:01,670 --> 01:05:02,503 - What room? 1321 01:05:02,503 --> 01:05:04,101 - Room 327. 1322 01:05:04,101 --> 01:05:08,033 - All right. May I ask why you're staying in the hotel for shopping? 1323 01:05:08,970 --> 01:05:11,678 - You're right next door, to the store. 1324 01:05:11,678 --> 01:05:14,261 (catchy music) 1325 01:05:15,190 --> 01:05:16,023 - Okay. 1326 01:05:16,023 --> 01:05:18,690 So you spent money on a hotel room 1327 01:05:18,690 --> 01:05:20,650 to save money at the store? 1328 01:05:20,650 --> 01:05:21,794 - Essentially. 1329 01:05:21,794 --> 01:05:23,280 - Okay, have a good day. 1330 01:05:23,280 --> 01:05:24,180 - Thanks, you too. 1331 01:05:29,438 --> 01:05:32,750 - They spent money on a hotel room 1332 01:05:33,670 --> 01:05:36,894 to save money at the store. 1333 01:05:36,894 --> 01:05:40,030 They spent money to save... 1334 01:05:40,030 --> 01:05:41,920 Ow, my brain hurts. 1335 01:05:41,920 --> 01:05:43,710 Ow, ow, ugh. 1336 01:05:43,710 --> 01:05:47,000 And it went on like that all night. 1337 01:05:47,000 --> 01:05:50,400 One unthankful, stupid ass group after another, 1338 01:05:50,400 --> 01:05:52,030 parading through the lobby, 1339 01:05:52,030 --> 01:05:54,080 pointing at the idiots on TV, 1340 01:05:54,080 --> 01:05:57,293 not realizing that they are in fact, those idiots. 1341 01:05:58,980 --> 01:06:01,860 - Well, people often don't see themselves 1342 01:06:01,860 --> 01:06:03,403 as they really are. 1343 01:06:04,839 --> 01:06:09,200 But, you must have been so happy 1344 01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:11,093 when your relief showed up. 1345 01:06:12,100 --> 01:06:12,933 - She was late. 1346 01:06:13,948 --> 01:06:16,531 (catchy music) 1347 01:06:19,205 --> 01:06:21,310 - Hey Michelle, look what I got. 1348 01:06:21,310 --> 01:06:24,420 I'm so excited, I got so many good deals today. 1349 01:06:24,420 --> 01:06:25,813 I'm just really mad that I have to be here 1350 01:06:25,813 --> 01:06:28,293 so that you can go shopping now. 1351 01:06:34,500 --> 01:06:36,092 - Oh no! 1352 01:06:36,092 --> 01:06:37,953 Our time is almost up. 1353 01:06:39,520 --> 01:06:42,143 So, what was the final straw? 1354 01:06:43,690 --> 01:06:46,160 - The final straw began in the day 1355 01:06:46,160 --> 01:06:48,003 while I was still sleeping. 1356 01:06:49,470 --> 01:06:52,053 (catchy music) 1357 01:06:57,230 --> 01:06:58,310 - Yeah, I'm checking the gym now, 1358 01:06:58,310 --> 01:06:59,360 he said he'd be here. 1359 01:07:01,260 --> 01:07:03,307 Do you know who Kevin Black is? 1360 01:07:03,307 --> 01:07:04,140 - Yeah, I know who he is. 1361 01:07:04,140 --> 01:07:06,050 I think he's been sleeping with my wife. 1362 01:07:08,610 --> 01:07:09,543 - Hey, Sarah. 1363 01:07:10,800 --> 01:07:15,030 Not being able to flush is kind of inconvenient. 1364 01:07:15,030 --> 01:07:17,680 - I'm sorry, sir. I'll have maintenance go up there right away. 1365 01:07:17,680 --> 01:07:18,513 - Please. 1366 01:07:20,374 --> 01:07:23,041 (phone ringing) 1367 01:07:29,550 --> 01:07:31,520 - Oh no, it's the front desk. 1368 01:07:31,520 --> 01:07:32,353 - Oh, don't worry about that, 1369 01:07:32,353 --> 01:07:33,880 you don't have to answer it. 1370 01:07:33,880 --> 01:07:36,680 She can handle it, and I'm the boss. 1371 01:07:36,680 --> 01:07:37,513 - Okay. 1372 01:07:42,750 --> 01:07:46,340 - Excuse me, I'm from room 310. 1373 01:07:46,340 --> 01:07:48,900 My bed collapsed. 1374 01:07:48,900 --> 01:07:51,300 - No, hang on, let me get a hold of maintenance. 1375 01:07:54,028 --> 01:07:56,695 (phone ringing) 1376 01:07:59,939 --> 01:08:01,601 And no answer. 1377 01:08:01,601 --> 01:08:03,101 I'll just give you a new room. 1378 01:08:04,330 --> 01:08:05,820 Try 308. 1379 01:08:05,820 --> 01:08:08,210 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 1380 01:08:08,210 --> 01:08:09,643 Let me try Al again. 1381 01:08:16,497 --> 01:08:18,390 Where the heck is he? 1382 01:08:18,390 --> 01:08:19,223 Has anyone seen Al? 1383 01:08:19,223 --> 01:08:21,240 I can't find him. 1384 01:08:21,240 --> 01:08:23,153 - [Woman] Check the maintenance office. 1385 01:08:24,950 --> 01:08:25,783 - Yeah. 1386 01:08:28,355 --> 01:08:29,870 Al? 1387 01:08:29,870 --> 01:08:31,123 Geez, that's still there? 1388 01:08:35,447 --> 01:08:36,871 Al? 1389 01:08:36,871 --> 01:08:39,704 (whimsical music) 1390 01:08:43,821 --> 01:08:44,654 Al? 1391 01:08:50,627 --> 01:08:51,693 Al, are you in here? 1392 01:08:54,527 --> 01:08:55,360 Ugh! 1393 01:08:56,658 --> 01:08:59,900 (whimsical music) 1394 01:08:59,900 --> 01:09:02,567 (phone ringing) 1395 01:09:04,427 --> 01:09:06,720 - How dare you disturb me. 1396 01:09:06,720 --> 01:09:07,940 - I have a maintenance emergency 1397 01:09:07,940 --> 01:09:09,690 and I can't find Al. 1398 01:09:09,690 --> 01:09:12,390 - Well, that is not my problem. 1399 01:09:12,390 --> 01:09:15,010 - Yeah, it is, you're the manager. 1400 01:09:15,010 --> 01:09:16,890 If we get a complaint, it reflects on you. 1401 01:09:16,890 --> 01:09:19,630 - If we get a complaint, I will have your head. 1402 01:09:19,630 --> 01:09:21,020 I don't know how you knew I was up here, 1403 01:09:21,020 --> 01:09:23,987 but if you tell anyone, I'll have your head with that too. 1404 01:09:23,987 --> 01:09:26,387 Now take care of it, and don't disturb me again. 1405 01:09:30,500 --> 01:09:32,362 - [Narrator] Oh, there's the paper now. 1406 01:09:32,362 --> 01:09:34,862 (dog barking) 1407 01:09:40,783 --> 01:09:42,360 - They're probably shacked up at some hotel. 1408 01:09:42,360 --> 01:09:43,640 - They probably are, let's get in my truck. 1409 01:09:43,640 --> 01:09:45,833 We'll catch their cheatin' asses. 1410 01:09:48,120 --> 01:09:49,800 - Oh, hello, Mr. Pickens. 1411 01:09:49,800 --> 01:09:50,633 - Hello! 1412 01:09:50,633 --> 01:09:53,340 I had the day off today, and had some time to kill, 1413 01:09:53,340 --> 01:09:55,150 so I thought I'd stop in 1414 01:09:55,150 --> 01:09:57,700 and see how my favorite investment's doing. 1415 01:09:57,700 --> 01:09:59,720 Hedwig always gives me glowing reports 1416 01:09:59,720 --> 01:10:01,810 and said there's no need to stop by, 1417 01:10:01,810 --> 01:10:03,910 but you know, I like to be hands on 1418 01:10:03,910 --> 01:10:05,040 whenever time allows. 1419 01:10:05,040 --> 01:10:06,490 - Yes, sir. 1420 01:10:06,490 --> 01:10:07,340 - Anything going on? 1421 01:10:07,340 --> 01:10:11,330 - You know, there is something strange with room 218. 1422 01:10:11,330 --> 01:10:12,740 - Room 218? 1423 01:10:12,740 --> 01:10:14,840 - Yes, it's our most expensive room, 1424 01:10:14,840 --> 01:10:17,400 our only suite with a whirlpool tub. 1425 01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:20,520 And it's been out of order for maintenance reasons 1426 01:10:20,520 --> 01:10:22,700 for over a month now. 1427 01:10:22,700 --> 01:10:24,170 - Over a month? 1428 01:10:24,170 --> 01:10:27,290 Our most expensive room is out of order 1429 01:10:27,290 --> 01:10:28,123 for over a month, 1430 01:10:28,123 --> 01:10:30,370 it hasn't been able to be rented? 1431 01:10:30,370 --> 01:10:31,740 Why? 1432 01:10:31,740 --> 01:10:33,140 - I don't know. 1433 01:10:33,140 --> 01:10:34,680 I've been trying to get a hold of Ms. Hedwig 1434 01:10:34,680 --> 01:10:38,470 or the maintenance man to find out why but, 1435 01:10:38,470 --> 01:10:39,980 I guess they took the day off. 1436 01:10:39,980 --> 01:10:41,500 - Give me a key to that room. 1437 01:10:41,500 --> 01:10:42,670 I want to see what kind of maintenance 1438 01:10:42,670 --> 01:10:43,503 needs done in there. 1439 01:10:43,503 --> 01:10:44,440 - Certainly, sir. 1440 01:10:44,440 --> 01:10:45,273 - Thank you. 1441 01:10:46,799 --> 01:10:49,299 (tense music) 1442 01:10:56,081 --> 01:10:58,748 (water running) 1443 01:11:01,516 --> 01:11:04,016 (tense music) 1444 01:11:15,407 --> 01:11:17,407 (gasps) 1445 01:11:18,908 --> 01:11:21,010 Oh, I see. 1446 01:11:21,010 --> 01:11:22,800 The tub is clogged. 1447 01:11:22,800 --> 01:11:25,113 - Sarah called and told me what happened. 1448 01:11:26,620 --> 01:11:27,610 I thought it would be nice 1449 01:11:27,610 --> 01:11:29,533 not to have a boss like Ms. Hedwig. 1450 01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:34,170 - Why didn't you stick around long enough 1451 01:11:34,170 --> 01:11:35,523 to find out? 1452 01:11:35,523 --> 01:11:37,773 (laughing) 1453 01:11:40,933 --> 01:11:41,925 - They're not at this one. 1454 01:11:41,925 --> 01:11:42,758 - Aw, come on. 1455 01:11:42,758 --> 01:11:45,307 We're gonna check all the other ones, let's go. 1456 01:11:51,485 --> 01:11:52,610 - I'm so glad you're here early! 1457 01:11:52,610 --> 01:11:53,983 Will you clock in now and count the drawer 1458 01:11:53,983 --> 01:11:54,863 so I can go? 1459 01:11:54,863 --> 01:11:56,933 I'm going to a midnight movie premier with my boyfriend. 1460 01:11:56,933 --> 01:11:57,766 - Okay! 1461 01:12:00,991 --> 01:12:01,908 Okay, okay. 1462 01:12:04,751 --> 01:12:06,460 I just need the drawer. 1463 01:12:06,460 --> 01:12:09,460 (catchy rock music) 1464 01:12:11,265 --> 01:12:12,098 - We good, we good? 1465 01:12:12,098 --> 01:12:13,873 - We're good. - Sweet. 1466 01:12:13,873 --> 01:12:14,706 Oh, hey, almost forgot. 1467 01:12:14,706 --> 01:12:15,770 There's a new phone greeting, 1468 01:12:15,770 --> 01:12:16,780 it's right by the files. 1469 01:12:16,780 --> 01:12:17,728 - [Michelle] Oh, all right. 1470 01:12:17,728 --> 01:12:18,850 - All right, see ya! 1471 01:12:18,850 --> 01:12:19,683 - Have fun! 1472 01:12:21,320 --> 01:12:22,210 Oh, finally. 1473 01:12:22,210 --> 01:12:23,727 Someone must've noticed that, 1474 01:12:23,727 --> 01:12:26,307 "Thank you for calling Anytown's Sleepytime Inn, 1475 01:12:26,307 --> 01:12:29,437 "gold silver award winning hotel, this is Michelle, 1476 01:12:29,437 --> 01:12:32,610 "how many I help you?", is too long. 1477 01:12:32,610 --> 01:12:33,873 Let's see what we got. 1478 01:12:34,967 --> 01:12:36,757 "To all desk personnel. 1479 01:12:36,757 --> 01:12:38,837 "Management has decided that since we now 1480 01:12:38,837 --> 01:12:40,187 "have won the platinum award, 1481 01:12:40,187 --> 01:12:41,927 "as well as the silver and gold, 1482 01:12:41,927 --> 01:12:43,697 "that this news needs to be incorporated 1483 01:12:43,697 --> 01:12:45,437 "into the phone greeting. 1484 01:12:45,437 --> 01:12:47,297 "Also, we want to convey the impression 1485 01:12:47,297 --> 01:12:48,447 "that all nights are great nights 1486 01:12:48,447 --> 01:12:50,570 "for sleeping at Sleepytime Inn." 1487 01:12:50,570 --> 01:12:51,403 Really? 1488 01:12:52,827 --> 01:12:54,823 "So our new phone greeting is, 1489 01:12:56,127 --> 01:12:58,137 "Thank you for calling our silver, gold, 1490 01:12:58,137 --> 01:12:59,447 "and platinum award winning, 1491 01:12:59,447 --> 01:13:03,117 "Anytown's Sleepytime Inn Hotel, seven years running. 1492 01:13:03,117 --> 01:13:04,777 "It's a great night to sleep here 1493 01:13:04,777 --> 01:13:07,037 "at the best hotel in the Tri-State area. 1494 01:13:07,037 --> 01:13:09,510 "My name is Michelle, how may I help you?" 1495 01:13:09,510 --> 01:13:11,240 Seriously, do the people who write this stuff 1496 01:13:11,240 --> 01:13:12,470 ever have to talk on the phone? 1497 01:13:12,470 --> 01:13:16,020 Does anybody who actually does any work 1498 01:13:16,020 --> 01:13:17,990 ever write this stuff? 1499 01:13:17,990 --> 01:13:20,050 Nobody is gonna want to sit through all that, 1500 01:13:20,050 --> 01:13:21,760 I don't want to sit through all that. 1501 01:13:21,760 --> 01:13:22,880 This is the worst night ever. 1502 01:13:22,880 --> 01:13:23,970 I've been here five minutes, 1503 01:13:23,970 --> 01:13:25,610 and this crap is already starting. 1504 01:13:25,610 --> 01:13:27,667 Oh, what else is gonna happen? 1505 01:13:31,157 --> 01:13:34,157 (woman complaining) 1506 01:13:37,458 --> 01:13:38,330 - In the middle of the road, 1507 01:13:38,330 --> 01:13:39,999 and people run into the ambulances, 1508 01:13:39,999 --> 01:13:41,618 and then they get citations. 1509 01:13:41,618 --> 01:13:42,451 - Yeah! 1510 01:13:42,451 --> 01:13:44,070 I want to go to the pool! 1511 01:13:44,070 --> 01:13:46,270 - Watch my suitcases there, buddy. 1512 01:13:46,270 --> 01:13:48,538 - Yeah, watch the suitcases, pig! 1513 01:13:48,538 --> 01:13:49,455 Oink, oink! 1514 01:13:50,820 --> 01:13:52,510 - Good evening, ma'am. 1515 01:13:52,510 --> 01:13:57,510 This woman and her grandchild were involved in an accident. 1516 01:13:58,660 --> 01:14:01,510 They ran into the back of an ambulance 1517 01:14:01,510 --> 01:14:03,580 that was attending to another accident. 1518 01:14:03,580 --> 01:14:04,870 - Well, it wasn't my fault! 1519 01:14:04,870 --> 01:14:07,240 He was parked in the middle of the road. 1520 01:14:07,240 --> 01:14:08,921 - Yeah, it wasn't her fault, pig! 1521 01:14:08,921 --> 01:14:09,838 Oink, oink! 1522 01:14:10,920 --> 01:14:12,730 - She was cited. 1523 01:14:12,730 --> 01:14:15,540 Now her insurance doesn't cover a rental, 1524 01:14:15,540 --> 01:14:18,250 so she's decided to stay in our town 1525 01:14:18,250 --> 01:14:20,663 until the local body shop fixes her car. 1526 01:14:21,620 --> 01:14:22,930 She needs a room. 1527 01:14:22,930 --> 01:14:24,230 Tell me you have a room. 1528 01:14:24,230 --> 01:14:25,450 - I have a room. 1529 01:14:25,450 --> 01:14:27,924 - Wonderful, thank you so much. 1530 01:14:27,924 --> 01:14:28,757 Goodbye. 1531 01:14:29,650 --> 01:14:31,067 - How much is the room? 1532 01:14:31,067 --> 01:14:33,290 - $99 plus tax. 1533 01:14:33,290 --> 01:14:34,724 - That's a rip off. 1534 01:14:34,724 --> 01:14:35,770 - Yeah, rip off! 1535 01:14:35,770 --> 01:14:37,740 What are you trying to pull, lady? 1536 01:14:37,740 --> 01:14:39,400 - Do you at least have a pool? 1537 01:14:39,400 --> 01:14:40,233 - No. 1538 01:14:40,233 --> 01:14:41,880 - Rip off! 1539 01:14:41,880 --> 01:14:44,240 - Yeah, what a rip off! 1540 01:14:44,240 --> 01:14:47,560 - We have free breakfast and free HBO. 1541 01:14:47,560 --> 01:14:48,680 - Eggs and bacon? 1542 01:14:48,680 --> 01:14:50,640 - No, continental. 1543 01:14:50,640 --> 01:14:52,170 - Rip off! 1544 01:14:52,170 --> 01:14:54,970 I know how this works, you know I'm stuck here, 1545 01:14:54,970 --> 01:14:57,110 so you're trying to rip me off. 1546 01:14:57,110 --> 01:14:59,240 - Yeah, rip off! 1547 01:14:59,240 --> 01:15:00,840 - I'm gonna read the fine print, 1548 01:15:00,840 --> 01:15:05,080 make sure you're not trying to rip me off some more! 1549 01:15:05,080 --> 01:15:06,373 - [Kid] Yeah, rip off! 1550 01:15:12,683 --> 01:15:15,470 - Can you get someone to take my bags? 1551 01:15:15,470 --> 01:15:17,580 - We don't offer that service here. 1552 01:15:17,580 --> 01:15:18,980 - Rip off! 1553 01:15:18,980 --> 01:15:20,480 - Yeah, rip off! 1554 01:15:20,480 --> 01:15:21,683 - Come on, get the bags. 1555 01:15:22,642 --> 01:15:25,563 - Why do I have to carry all this crap by myself? 1556 01:15:25,563 --> 01:15:26,980 This place sucks! 1557 01:15:27,915 --> 01:15:29,082 Yeah, rip off! 1558 01:15:33,195 --> 01:15:35,755 (phone ringing) 1559 01:15:35,755 --> 01:15:37,370 - Thank you for calling our silver, gold, 1560 01:15:37,370 --> 01:15:38,510 and platinum award winning, 1561 01:15:38,510 --> 01:15:41,360 Anytown's Sleepytime Hotel, seven years running. 1562 01:15:41,360 --> 01:15:42,680 It's a great night to sleep here 1563 01:15:42,680 --> 01:15:44,810 at the best hotel in the Tri-State area, 1564 01:15:44,810 --> 01:15:47,675 my name is Michelle, how can I help you? 1565 01:15:47,675 --> 01:15:49,240 - What room is Kevin Black in? 1566 01:15:49,240 --> 01:15:52,070 - I'm sorry ma'am, I can't give out that information. 1567 01:15:52,070 --> 01:15:54,480 - I'm his wife, why can't you give me that information? 1568 01:15:54,480 --> 01:15:56,950 - I'm sorry ma'am, I can't give out that information. 1569 01:15:56,950 --> 01:15:58,120 - You bitch! 1570 01:15:58,120 --> 01:15:59,583 Tell me what room he's in! 1571 01:16:03,270 --> 01:16:05,563 Bingo, we found those cheating bastards. 1572 01:16:07,562 --> 01:16:10,395 (whimsical music) 1573 01:16:24,718 --> 01:16:26,878 - This stupid machine! 1574 01:16:26,878 --> 01:16:29,711 (whimsical music) 1575 01:16:46,139 --> 01:16:47,806 This stupid machine! 1576 01:16:57,230 --> 01:16:59,540 - Hey, hey, quit busting up the machines! 1577 01:16:59,540 --> 01:17:01,430 - It took my money! 1578 01:17:01,430 --> 01:17:03,450 - If you do that again, I'll have you arrested 1579 01:17:03,450 --> 01:17:04,460 for vandalism. 1580 01:17:04,460 --> 01:17:05,810 Now here's your money back. 1581 01:17:07,963 --> 01:17:10,530 - I'd like to see you try, rip off lady. 1582 01:17:15,620 --> 01:17:17,530 - Hi ma'am, I just saw a little girl 1583 01:17:17,530 --> 01:17:19,700 pooping in the hallway. 1584 01:17:19,700 --> 01:17:22,100 You might want to clean that up. 1585 01:17:22,100 --> 01:17:25,100 (catchy rock music) 1586 01:17:30,803 --> 01:17:32,340 (phone ringing) 1587 01:17:32,340 --> 01:17:33,350 - Front desk. 1588 01:17:33,350 --> 01:17:36,173 - Hey, why are you harassing my grandchild? 1589 01:17:37,373 --> 01:17:39,433 - Yeah, that desk clerk is a loser. 1590 01:17:40,640 --> 01:17:42,630 - Your grandchild tried to destroy 1591 01:17:42,630 --> 01:17:44,180 one of the vending machines, 1592 01:17:44,180 --> 01:17:45,690 and I told her if she did it again, 1593 01:17:45,690 --> 01:17:48,770 I'd have her arrested for vandalism, and I will. 1594 01:17:48,770 --> 01:17:50,640 - Jesus, lady, first you rip us off, 1595 01:17:50,640 --> 01:17:53,000 then you try to harass a poor, innocent child? 1596 01:17:53,000 --> 01:17:55,550 What kind of monster are you? 1597 01:17:55,550 --> 01:17:58,970 I'm gonna report you to the manager. 1598 01:17:58,970 --> 01:18:01,203 - The manager will be here at seven AM. 1599 01:18:04,621 --> 01:18:07,454 (whimsical music) 1600 01:18:12,763 --> 01:18:16,220 (phone ringing) 1601 01:18:16,220 --> 01:18:17,500 - [Michelle] Thank you for calling our silver, 1602 01:18:17,500 --> 01:18:18,800 gold, platinum award winning, 1603 01:18:18,800 --> 01:18:22,060 Anytown's Sleepytime Hotel, seven years running, 1604 01:18:22,060 --> 01:18:25,300 it's a great night to sleep here at the best hotel in the Tri-State area. 1605 01:18:25,300 --> 01:18:28,220 My name is Michelle, how can I help you? 1606 01:18:28,220 --> 01:18:31,193 - Yeah, this is Kathy over at Econo Sleep. 1607 01:18:32,270 --> 01:18:33,540 Nice phone greeting. 1608 01:18:33,540 --> 01:18:34,800 - Yeah, thanks. 1609 01:18:34,800 --> 01:18:37,110 - So anyway, there are these crazy people running outside, 1610 01:18:37,110 --> 01:18:39,070 it's like real life redneck rampage, 1611 01:18:39,070 --> 01:18:40,880 I mean they're coming in here yelling about 1612 01:18:40,880 --> 01:18:42,310 something about people cheating, 1613 01:18:42,310 --> 01:18:44,230 they said something was in here, I don't know. 1614 01:18:44,230 --> 01:18:46,730 Came in here flipping stuff, throwing jugs. 1615 01:18:46,730 --> 01:18:48,680 They wanted my jug, they went off with it, 1616 01:18:48,680 --> 01:18:49,580 I don't know what they're gonna do with that, 1617 01:18:49,580 --> 01:18:53,520 but anyway, I think they're coming for your hotel next. 1618 01:18:53,520 --> 01:18:54,480 - Oh, great. 1619 01:18:54,480 --> 01:18:56,580 Yeah, a lady called here earlier 1620 01:18:56,580 --> 01:18:58,163 having a crying fit. 1621 01:18:59,080 --> 01:19:01,860 Yeah, I hope they don't actually bother coming here. 1622 01:19:01,860 --> 01:19:04,830 - Yeah, trust me, you do not want to deal with them. 1623 01:19:04,830 --> 01:19:06,150 - Yeah, right. 1624 01:19:06,150 --> 01:19:07,050 Thanks for the warning. 1625 01:19:07,050 --> 01:19:09,860 I'll call you and let you know if they show up. 1626 01:19:09,860 --> 01:19:10,693 - You do that. 1627 01:19:16,780 --> 01:19:17,920 - I hope they don't come here, 1628 01:19:17,920 --> 01:19:20,244 but I'm gonna call you back anyway. 1629 01:19:20,244 --> 01:19:22,844 I want to hear what your phone greeting sounds like. 1630 01:19:25,263 --> 01:19:28,096 (whimsical music) 1631 01:19:47,480 --> 01:19:49,220 - You know what room Kevin Black is in? 1632 01:19:49,220 --> 01:19:51,860 - [Michelle] I can't give out that information, sir. 1633 01:19:51,860 --> 01:19:52,710 - Why not? 1634 01:19:52,710 --> 01:19:53,543 What about Jenna Smith? 1635 01:19:53,543 --> 01:19:54,770 You know what room she's in? 1636 01:19:54,770 --> 01:19:56,382 - I can't give you that information. 1637 01:19:56,382 --> 01:19:57,620 - I need this information. 1638 01:19:57,620 --> 01:19:58,940 - [Michelle] Well, I can't give it out, it's private. 1639 01:19:58,940 --> 01:20:00,892 - This is my card, I need this. 1640 01:20:00,892 --> 01:20:01,903 - You're going to have to leave, 1641 01:20:01,903 --> 01:20:02,860 or I'm gonna call the police. 1642 01:20:02,860 --> 01:20:04,030 - I'm gonna start knocking on doors 1643 01:20:04,030 --> 01:20:05,100 until I find what I'm looking for. 1644 01:20:05,100 --> 01:20:06,240 - Well, I'm gonna call the police 1645 01:20:06,240 --> 01:20:07,073 if you start knocking on doors. 1646 01:20:07,073 --> 01:20:08,739 - [Man] Well, they're gonna have to make me leave. - Well, I'm calling the police. 1647 01:20:08,739 --> 01:20:09,963 - All right, fine. 1648 01:20:14,817 --> 01:20:15,650 - Hey, thanks for letting me stay with you guys, 1649 01:20:15,650 --> 01:20:17,000 it worked out pretty well. 1650 01:20:17,000 --> 01:20:18,000 - Yeah, it did. 1651 01:20:21,441 --> 01:20:22,691 - No it didn't! 1652 01:20:25,012 --> 01:20:27,845 (whimsical music) 1653 01:20:33,665 --> 01:20:35,665 - Come and play with me? 1654 01:20:46,610 --> 01:20:47,570 - Hey! 1655 01:20:47,570 --> 01:20:48,435 Who's all in there? 1656 01:20:48,435 --> 01:20:51,268 Hey Jenna, I know you're in there. 1657 01:20:55,085 --> 01:20:56,727 Jenna, open up! 1658 01:20:56,727 --> 01:20:59,676 Come on, I know you're in there. 1659 01:20:59,676 --> 01:21:02,759 (serious rock music) 1660 01:21:18,583 --> 01:21:21,416 (whimsical music) 1661 01:21:24,033 --> 01:21:25,154 - Ugh. 1662 01:21:25,154 --> 01:21:27,883 Why won't anybody play with me? 1663 01:21:27,883 --> 01:21:29,637 This place is a rip off! 1664 01:21:31,670 --> 01:21:33,330 - The crazy guy? 1665 01:21:33,330 --> 01:21:34,200 - [Man] What's going here? 1666 01:21:34,200 --> 01:21:36,020 - Okay, look, look, I know-- 1667 01:21:36,020 --> 01:21:38,161 - [Woman] Yeah, what's going on, like, 1668 01:21:38,161 --> 01:21:39,460 I've got work in the morning. 1669 01:21:39,460 --> 01:21:41,200 - I have called the police, 1670 01:21:41,200 --> 01:21:42,390 and they're on their way, 1671 01:21:42,390 --> 01:21:44,400 I know there's a crazy man in the hotel, 1672 01:21:44,400 --> 01:21:45,850 they're on the way to get him. 1673 01:21:45,850 --> 01:21:48,903 I'm gonna call again and check and see. 1674 01:21:50,043 --> 01:21:51,181 - What should we do? 1675 01:21:51,181 --> 01:21:52,289 We're trying to... 1676 01:21:52,289 --> 01:21:55,039 (loud commotion) 1677 01:21:56,540 --> 01:21:58,503 - Crazies, again. 1678 01:22:03,720 --> 01:22:06,147 - I don't get paid enough for this. 1679 01:22:06,147 --> 01:22:08,450 - I'm telling you, this place is the biggest rip off 1680 01:22:08,450 --> 01:22:10,960 I've ever seen, I mean they have rip off cops, 1681 01:22:10,960 --> 01:22:13,046 they have a rip off desk lady, 1682 01:22:13,046 --> 01:22:15,000 everything about this place is just a rip off. 1683 01:22:15,000 --> 01:22:17,590 I'm telling you what, this is just crazy. 1684 01:22:17,590 --> 01:22:18,800 - [Woman] Right? 1685 01:22:18,800 --> 01:22:19,930 - What is going on? 1686 01:22:19,930 --> 01:22:21,490 There's a man walking around, 1687 01:22:21,490 --> 01:22:23,567 he's banging on doors, he's waking me up, 1688 01:22:23,567 --> 01:22:25,040 it's a rip off. 1689 01:22:25,040 --> 01:22:28,770 - [Woman] And we got a manager in the office doing nothing. 1690 01:22:28,770 --> 01:22:31,280 - And look, there's a rip off cop right now, 1691 01:22:31,280 --> 01:22:32,758 he's a rip off. 1692 01:22:32,758 --> 01:22:35,120 (phone ringing) 1693 01:22:35,120 --> 01:22:36,380 - Where is he? 1694 01:22:36,380 --> 01:22:39,230 (phones ringing) 1695 01:22:39,230 --> 01:22:40,063 - Third floor. 1696 01:22:40,970 --> 01:22:43,720 (loud commotion) 1697 01:22:45,042 --> 01:22:47,126 - Oh, yeah. - Some guy knocking on doors, 1698 01:22:47,126 --> 01:22:48,037 and the desk clerk 1699 01:22:48,037 --> 01:22:49,580 is the worst desk clerk I've ever seen, 1700 01:22:49,580 --> 01:22:52,123 isn't that right baby, baby? 1701 01:22:53,016 --> 01:22:56,390 (phone ringing) 1702 01:22:56,390 --> 01:22:58,333 - Econo Sleep, Kathy speaking. 1703 01:22:59,280 --> 01:23:01,040 - Nice phone greeting. 1704 01:23:01,040 --> 01:23:03,160 Remember those crazies you called me about? 1705 01:23:03,160 --> 01:23:04,360 Yeah, they're here. 1706 01:23:04,360 --> 01:23:06,700 Oh yeah, woke up the whole hotel. 1707 01:23:06,700 --> 01:23:07,980 Uh huh, uh huh. 1708 01:23:07,980 --> 01:23:09,460 Yeah, I called the cops. 1709 01:23:09,460 --> 01:23:10,510 Oh yeah, they're here. 1710 01:23:10,510 --> 01:23:11,820 Oh, it's a mess. 1711 01:23:11,820 --> 01:23:13,270 This is my last night. 1712 01:23:13,270 --> 01:23:14,670 Oh, I'm not doing this anymore. 1713 01:23:14,670 --> 01:23:16,080 This is my last night. 1714 01:23:16,080 --> 01:23:17,693 Yeah, I'll talk to you later. 1715 01:23:21,637 --> 01:23:25,208 (loud commotion) 1716 01:23:25,208 --> 01:23:26,541 - What the fu... 1717 01:23:29,925 --> 01:23:31,092 - This is fun! 1718 01:23:32,036 --> 01:23:33,702 (loud crash) Yeehaw! 1719 01:23:34,861 --> 01:23:35,694 Yay! 1720 01:23:48,989 --> 01:23:50,440 - Kid, are you okay? 1721 01:23:50,440 --> 01:23:52,628 - Aw, I wasn't done driving yet, 1722 01:23:52,628 --> 01:23:54,341 what a rip off! 1723 01:23:54,341 --> 01:23:57,667 (rock country music) 1724 01:23:57,667 --> 01:23:59,527 ♪ Listen ♪ 1725 01:23:59,527 --> 01:24:03,239 ♪ When you're all alone ♪ 1726 01:24:03,239 --> 01:24:07,015 ♪ And you're far from home ♪ 1727 01:24:07,015 --> 01:24:10,552 ♪ And something don't work ♪ 1728 01:24:10,552 --> 01:24:13,661 ♪ Ya'll call the desk clerk ♪ 1729 01:24:13,661 --> 01:24:18,661 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1730 01:24:20,027 --> 01:24:23,481 ♪ Give me some more ♪ 1731 01:24:23,481 --> 01:24:27,213 ♪ And if you lost your comb ♪ 1732 01:24:27,213 --> 01:24:30,928 ♪ Or you're outta cologne ♪ 1733 01:24:30,928 --> 01:24:34,607 ♪ There's a special perk ♪ 1734 01:24:34,607 --> 01:24:38,249 ♪ And if something don't work ♪ 1735 01:24:38,249 --> 01:24:42,011 ♪ Go and pick up the phone ♪ 1736 01:24:42,011 --> 01:24:46,241 ♪ And you call the desk clerk ♪ 1737 01:24:46,241 --> 01:24:50,126 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1738 01:24:50,126 --> 01:24:51,574 ♪ Come on ♪ 1739 01:24:51,574 --> 01:24:55,075 ♪ She's there to serve you ♪ 1740 01:24:55,075 --> 01:24:57,142 ♪ And take good care of you ♪ 1741 01:24:57,142 --> 01:25:02,142 ♪ Your own desk clerk ♪ 1742 01:25:04,282 --> 01:25:06,080 ♪ Get down ♪ 1743 01:25:06,080 --> 01:25:09,684 ♪ She's at your beck and call ♪ 1744 01:25:09,684 --> 01:25:11,957 ♪ No matter when you call ♪ 1745 01:25:11,957 --> 01:25:16,957 ♪ Your own desk clerk ♪ 1746 01:25:20,442 --> 01:25:22,858 ♪ Bring us back again ♪ 1747 01:25:22,858 --> 01:25:26,238 ♪ When you're on your own ♪ 1748 01:25:26,238 --> 01:25:29,981 ♪ And something goes wrong ♪ 1749 01:25:29,981 --> 01:25:33,648 ♪ You can still be a jerk ♪ 1750 01:25:33,648 --> 01:25:37,332 ♪ Just wipe that smirk ♪ 1751 01:25:37,332 --> 01:25:39,511 ♪ And you pick up the phone ♪ 1752 01:25:39,511 --> 01:25:41,132 ♪ Go on and tell them now ♪ 1753 01:25:41,132 --> 01:25:45,332 ♪ Call your own desk clerk ♪ 1754 01:25:45,332 --> 01:25:50,332 ♪ Yeah ♪ 1755 01:25:50,480 --> 01:25:54,092 ♪ She's there to serve you ♪ 1756 01:25:54,092 --> 01:25:56,241 ♪ And take good care of you ♪ 1757 01:25:56,241 --> 01:26:01,241 ♪ Your own desk clerk ♪ 1758 01:26:05,187 --> 01:26:08,749 ♪ She's at your beck and call ♪ 1759 01:26:08,749 --> 01:26:11,047 ♪ No matter when you call ♪ 1760 01:26:11,047 --> 01:26:16,047 ♪ Your own desk clerk ♪ 1761 01:26:19,979 --> 01:26:23,636 ♪ She's there to serve you ♪ 1762 01:26:23,636 --> 01:26:25,924 ♪ And take good care of you ♪ 1763 01:26:25,924 --> 01:26:30,924 ♪ Your own desk clerk ♪ 1764 01:26:32,809 --> 01:26:34,659 ♪ Get down ♪ 1765 01:26:34,659 --> 01:26:38,251 ♪ She's at your beck and call ♪ 1766 01:26:38,251 --> 01:26:40,571 ♪ No matter when you call ♪ 1767 01:26:40,571 --> 01:26:43,404 ♪ Your own desk clerk ♪ 1768 01:26:51,129 --> 01:26:54,798 ♪ Call your own desk clerk ♪ 1769 01:26:54,798 --> 01:26:58,529 ♪ Call your own desk clerk ♪ 1770 01:26:58,529 --> 01:27:02,150 ♪ Call your own desk clerk ♪ 1771 01:27:02,150 --> 01:27:05,910 ♪ Call your own desk clerk ♪ 1772 01:27:05,910 --> 01:27:09,160 ♪ Call your own desk clerk ♪ 1773 01:27:22,870 --> 01:27:23,703 - Hey. 1774 01:27:26,870 --> 01:27:29,043 Well, I was wondering. 1775 01:27:30,410 --> 01:27:32,833 How do you feel about feet? 1776 01:27:35,700 --> 01:27:39,040 Well, without socks or with socks, 1777 01:27:39,040 --> 01:27:43,193 or in nylons, or in jelly. 1778 01:27:45,590 --> 01:27:50,470 Sometimes I think about feet in shoes, and boots, 1779 01:27:50,470 --> 01:27:55,470 and in my mouth. 1780 01:27:55,470 --> 01:27:56,303 Toes. 1781 01:27:57,640 --> 01:28:01,493 But see, Sally, Sally's feet, 1782 01:28:03,140 --> 01:28:04,423 they don't have toes. 1783 01:28:05,600 --> 01:28:10,503 They're stumps, if you know what I mean. 1784 01:28:11,840 --> 01:28:12,673 Stumpy. 1785 01:28:16,938 --> 01:28:20,700 But anyway, did I tell you that I liked your shoes 1786 01:28:20,700 --> 01:28:21,873 that you had on? 1787 01:28:22,730 --> 01:28:24,490 Yeah, I really do. 1788 01:28:24,490 --> 01:28:28,880 Sometimes I wear my wife's shoes 1789 01:28:28,880 --> 01:28:29,963 when she's not home. 1790 01:28:30,830 --> 01:28:32,780 Yeah, yeah. 1791 01:28:32,780 --> 01:28:37,672 And sometimes, sometimes when the kids are away, 1792 01:28:37,672 --> 01:28:41,200 I'll put on her dresses, 1793 01:28:41,200 --> 01:28:45,040 and I pretend to be Mrs. Smith, 1794 01:28:45,040 --> 01:28:47,163 but I'm Mrs. Smith with a beard. 1795 01:28:49,400 --> 01:28:50,923 I'm the bearded Mrs. Smith. 1796 01:28:52,690 --> 01:28:53,623 Sometimes. 1797 01:28:54,560 --> 01:28:56,883 Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not. 1798 01:28:57,941 --> 01:29:01,723 Sometimes I'm Mr. Smith, and I go to work. 1799 01:29:02,610 --> 01:29:04,760 And then sometimes I come home, 1800 01:29:04,760 --> 01:29:07,363 and I'm Mr. Smith with Sally. 1801 01:29:08,290 --> 01:29:09,543 You remember Sally. 1802 01:29:11,120 --> 01:29:11,953 Sally. 1803 01:29:13,637 --> 01:29:14,630 (sighs) 1804 01:29:14,630 --> 01:29:16,680 She makes my heart flutter. 1805 01:29:16,680 --> 01:29:18,000 I know what you're thinking, 1806 01:29:18,000 --> 01:29:19,263 how's it gonna work? 1807 01:29:20,770 --> 01:29:25,143 Because love conquers all, oh, it does, it does. 1808 01:29:26,070 --> 01:29:27,483 If you can find love, 1809 01:29:28,910 --> 01:29:30,093 you can find anything. 1810 01:29:31,430 --> 01:29:33,203 If you want it bad enough. 1811 01:29:34,420 --> 01:29:35,253 Michelle. 1812 01:29:36,090 --> 01:29:39,603 But anyway, what I was calling for was, 1813 01:29:41,560 --> 01:29:44,923 wondering is there a turndown service? 1814 01:29:48,383 --> 01:29:50,743 Hello? 1815 01:29:50,743 --> 01:29:51,576 Hello? 1816 01:29:56,320 --> 01:29:58,070 I'll go downstairs and talk to her.