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Mr. Arroyo,
your passion at the keyboard stirs the spirit
and excites the senses with an almost religious fervor.
You moved us deeply.
Congratulations.
You have a bright future in the piano world.
Please be seated.
Don't get up!
Sebastián Arroyo López.
Born in Valladolid, studied in Valladolid
and examined for the National Police Corps in Valladolid...
but... requested a job here, in Cadiz.
Why would that be?
For the Mardi Gras parties?
Do you like the music, or is it the parades?
Or perhaps you came all the way from Valladolid
because you think Andalusia's a free-for-all!
You have no training,
you haven't taken the entrance exam and yet you expect me
to give you a job, just because your Lordship
is the son of the sister of the Councilor for Agriculture!
She's my aunt-in-law.
I know perfectly well who she is! Don't push me!
No, I mean she's my mother's sister-in-law.
She's not my real aunt, she's my aunt-in-law,
who works as a politician.
She's my aunt-in-law.... in law.
And?
And she's my godmother.
Well, your fairy godmother
has stuck her magic wand right up my ass!
I didn't want her to, but...
Oh, I'm sure you didn't want her to...
Nobody did!
This is the National Police Corps, for God's sake!
How can we enforce the law
if we let in any old idiot because his aunt-in-law's a politician?
You're absolutely right. This is unjustifiable.
What are you doing?
Going back to Valladolid.
I'll tell my aunt you taught me a valuable lesson.
Lucky some people still have principles.
No, don't say anything to your aunt!
I was just venting!
I'm not having the best day today.
Don't say anything, please!
I have great respect for your aunt.
She's a great lady and an excellent councilor!
I'm going to make some calls right now.
I'm sure we can find something for such a brilliant young man like you!
We always find something here.
UNDERCOVER WEDDING CRASHERS
Antoñito...
What a surprise!
Fucking hell!
Get out and show me the drugs.
Careful! Don't fall!
Drugs? It's just furniture...
I'm helping my cousin Patricia move.
You know, the one who sells panties.
That's what family's for.
I have a truck, so I'm helping her out.
It's just furniture and she's saving money.
See?
If it's just furniture, why'd you run away?
Because it's always the good guys who pay.
- Are you high, Antoñito? - No!
Every time I get pulled over, I get fined.
It's not right!
With all due respect, you're always taking money from honest people,
people who earn their daily bread with the sweat from their brow.
The sweat from their brow...
So what's this? To dry the sweat?
Well, well!
Don't move a muscle, faggot!
Come on, drop the pen... The pen...
Drop it or you're a dead man.
Come on! Move it!
- You could get a disciplinary for this. - Man, you're boring!
Obviously not from Cadiz, you haven't got a funny bone in your body!
You're dull as ditchwater!
But you're from Galicia! Back to work!
Home's where the heart is, that's what they say.
Look what they seized!
I wish I'd been there.
Bang! Everybody freeze!
Get on the floor!
Move and I'll blow your fucking brains out!
Hey you, asshole! What did I just say?
Police don't talk like that.
Wait 'til I get promoted, then you'll see.
Wow, wow and wow! Check out this piano!
You play, right?
Give us a tune then!
Come on! Play something!
No, no...
No, I'd better not.
Besides, it's been confiscated, we can't touch it.
Come on, Beethoven! Who cares?
Live a little!
Look, I said no, alright?
What are you doing?
Where are you going? What are you doing?
Don't touch that!
I said don't touch! Stop, stop...
What the hell are you doing?
Stop it already! We're going to get a disciplinary.
Relax!
Do you know how hard it is to get a disciplinary?
Look where we are! They don't even come down here to clean!
It's just... when I was a kid,
I'd get so nervous playing in front of an audience.
- The fear kept growing and growing... - Save the childhood traumas!
If you can't play, just say so.
Excuse me?
I was a child prodigy, OK?
Child prodigy my ass!
You can't play the piano.
Your reverse psychology isn't going to work on me!
I want to talk to my lawyer.
Right, Antoñito...
We both know how this works.
You ask for a lawyer, I hit you.
You keep insisting and I hit you a couple more times.
Until you end up telling us about your phimosis surgery.
But now there's a problem... She's pregnant.
- Congratulations. - Thanks.
The doctor told me to rest.
I just want to go home,
put my feet up and watch Oprah.
So how about we skip this part?
Who's the Ghost?
The Holy Ghost?
Everyone knows you work for him.
I swear I don't know who you're talking about.
No, Elton John, don't stop!
Sorry, this area's restricted, you're not allowed in here.
- It's Pepa... - Name and badge number.
Sorry, but you are....
Josefa Garrido,
Inspector, narcotics division.
Inspector!
I'm going to open such a big disciplinary file,
you'll have enough paper to wipe your ass for a year.
I told him, Ma'am. "We're going to get a disciplinary".
Have you stored the drugs yet?
Then get the fuck out of here. Now!
He wishes he was Elton John!
He's the real king of pop.
Enough bullshit!
We know you're stealing from the Ghost.
No, no, no... You're wrong. No, no...
Relax, it's cool with us.
One little bundle here, another two little bundles there...
Nobody notices and you make some extra cash.
What will the Ghost say when we spread the word
that Antoñito is setting up his own business?
I doubt you'll be named employee of the month.
Come on, give me something and I'll let you go.
- I don't know anything. - Yes, you do.
Give me a name, a connection, whatever.
I don't fucking know!
Really?
Spread the word.
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait!
You'll be the death of me.
- Here you go. - Merci beaucoup.
A beer would've been fine,
but no, he has to go and order oysters...
What do you care, Sonny Croquet? You're not paying.
I'm paying with my taxes, asshole!
And move the camera, I can't see shit.
And the boy says: "Daddy, take me to the circus!"
And his dad says:
Sinner with a face the color of strawberry pie!
- Fuck! Turn it down! - Sorry!
Tell them the circus is here at the house!
We didn't come all this way to talk about the circus.
But it's a sure thing.
With your goods and our distribution,
we'll be selling "T-shirts" like hot cakes.
So let's talk numbers. 60/40.
You think I was born yesterday?
90/10.
80/20.
OK.
But you cover customs, lost goods
and any legal expenses.
Take it or leave it.
Mari!
- Come here a sec! - Yes, sweetie?
This lady has the best seafood in town.
It's so good, we're having it at my daughter's wedding.
Answer me this:
If you were offered seafood with only a 20% cut, what would you do?
Would you take it or not?
Depends. If it's good, the customers will take it off my hands.
That settles it, gentlemen. We have a deal.
That's my girl!
Keep your hands to yourself!
I'll bring you some shots. My treat.
First, we'll do a trial run.
If it goes well, we'll close the deal.
Sounds good to me.
Sandoval wants to meet the Ghost.
Don't ever say that name out loud.
Let me make something very clear...
I hope that oyster makes you so sick,
you spend a week pissing out of your ass!
Sorry!
- Idiot! - Idiot!
To show our respect, just this once, we'll arrange a meeting.
One month from now, at my daughter's wedding.
What the fuck's she doing here?
Watch out. It's him.
Daddy! Oh, Daddy! Thank you, thank you!
Why are you in your wedding dress?
I was getting it altered when he called!
- He said yes! - Who?
Lolo! He said yes!
He'll play at the wedding!
- Lolo? - Lolo?
Who the hell is Lolo?
I won't say any more
I'm the prototype of the perfect guy
I love your faults.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll give you everything you need
I won't say any more.
You want what I have
I'm the prototype of the perfect guy...
What if...?
No...
Move, you idiot! I haven't got all day!
It's a roundabout. You have to respect the traffic.
- Hello? - Jehovah's Witnesses.
- No, no, no... Really, no, no! - Yes!
Alejandro Couce.
He dealt hash in Sanlúcar.
The Amaya brothers. They offloaded drugs from the boats.
Jenny Sánchez. 9 years old. Just passing by.
The Ghost started with hash, then moved on to coke.
If he starts dealing heroine, these photos will look like a fairy tale
compared to the fucking shit storm that's coming.
The bathroom?
There, on the right.
She's got a bun in the oven.
You mean pregnant? She's not a baker.
1992 was the last time we saw him.
We nearly got him too, but the son of a bitch got away.
No sign of him since. He disappeared.
We thought he was dead... until a few years ago.
Now he has the monopoly of the whole area.
This is all we have.
This and one other clue. Take a look.
A birthmark on his head.
It could be anyone.
A civil servant, a politician, the doorman in your building...
Hang on, how can I identify him if we don't know who he is?
And this is Abeledo, his right-hand man.
Look, seriously...
This wedding's given us an opportunity I'm not prepared to lose.
You need to infiltrate the group and identify the Ghost.
Can't you use a waiter?
They've got it all under control, waiters, guests, even the priest.
But the band? Who's going to suspect the band?
- Why not? - Imagine you're at a wedding.
The famous "Andy and Lucas" are playing.
Would you think Andy was a cop?
- Which one's Andy? - The chubby one.
- They're both chubby now. - One's chubbier.
But one's always been chubbier.
Look, that's besides the point! I'm not James Bond.
My job is to put things in plastic bags.
I'm from Valladolid.
Do it or I'll tell everyone your aunt
got you into the police.
But they already have a keyboard player.
They had one...
This fell out of your pocket.
What pocket?
The one in your flip-flops!
Look at me!
They'll never believe I'm one of them.
Leave that to me.
You can dress me like a Saint.
Disguise me as a fool.
Change my shoes and glasses, put a gold chain on
I can be posh or a hipster.
From the hood or totally wild.
Change my clothes, my house, my epicenter.
But you'll never change.
What I have inside.
There's something missing.
Hang on...
Now!
28 DAYS UNTIL THE WEDDING
Make sure everything runs smoothly.
It only cost me 50 bucks.
There you go.
This looks a little loose.
Give it a try.
Fuck! This is going to be hard.
I know Pepa, but don't cry.
We'll get there.
I'm not crying! It's my hormones, you idiot!
I'm OK!
Remember, now you're Fernando Castillo.
- You live at... - I've got it.
Here.
These are sports clothes, not casual wear.
Go over your character again.
I'm Fernando Castillo, from Las Piletas in Cadiz.
Yo home boy! What y'all doin'?
I'm from the hood! Manolo's a fly mother fucker!
- Asshole! - No accent.
You were born here, but left young.
Now you're from "the hood".
You smoke joints, drink Redbull and beat people up in clubs.
Drugs?
If somebody tells you to stick a vodka-soaked tampon up your ass,
- you get on all fours... - Who does that?
Gets you drunk quicker.
So I heard.
My brother-in-law's cousin knows one of the band.
They're waiting for you here.
What are you doing?
Guys from the hood don't wear their helmets like that.
Do you know Lolo?
OK, don't worry.
Excuse me. Do you know Lolo?
Lolo? That guy over there.
- That one? - Yes.
Thanks.
Morning!
Did you touch me?
I heard you were looking for a keyboard player.
Another one wanting to profit from Pieza's bad luck.
If I find out who set him up, I'll smash their head in!
It's cool Lolo, my cousin's friend sent him.
Sing the song "Perfect guy".
Shut up, everyone, this dude's going to sing.
No, I don't want you to play. I want you to sing.
You want me to sing... here?
OK.
I won't say any more
I'm the prototype of the perfect guy
I love your faults.
Get out of here! You don't have what it takes.
- Actually, I trained at the Conservatory. - Who gives a shit?
The only thing that matters here is art.
And you don't have any.
Sorry, but music theory is essential for...
Gusano!
Bring your guitar over here, kid!
You could eat some fruit every now and then too!
Kid, you know what music theory is?
My theory's that you're ugly!
Kid's got a mouth on him!
Come on! Play something and I'll buy you a coke.
Good job, Gusano! Go and get yourself a drink.
Another gin and tonic!
That boy's an artist.
Without art, there's no music.
Get out of here.
Ole!
You might be talented, but you're a real pain in the ass.
A real ball buster.
You know what, ball buster? I'll think about it.
Thank you!
I didn't say yes, I just said I'd think about it.
OK.
- Barman! Give him a beer. - No, thanks, I don't drink.
I mean I don't drink that crap.
Get me a whisky!
I'll have a whisky!
Have mine.
Cheers!
Is this Scotch or a local whisky?
Is this the posh dude?
Fernando Castillo.
You taking the piss?
He's from Granada, so he's got a chip on his shoulder.
What the fuck?
Just 'cos I'm Andalusian, I should be telling jokes and singing flamenco?
- Well screw you! - Did you prepare what I told you to?
- Just a few bags left. - So get on with it!
We call him "Photoshop" 'cos he took a design course.
A course in smoking weed more like!
He's a pain in the ass too. All day talking Trap music.
Shut your mouth! Trap's the fucking bomb!
You already met Ortiguilla, guitar player and Cadiz born and bred.
He says he's a gypsy, but he ain't.
My grandpa's cousin was a gypsy!
Blind Felipito from Barbate.
And where are you from?
Me? Well, I....
I'm from here, from Cadiz. Born in Las Piletas.
Oh yeah? You reek of private school.
You've got less street cred than my grandma!
Well, the thing is...
I mean I was born in Cadiz,
but my parents moved to Valladolid when I was a kid.
But I'm like you!
And how's that?
I meant like you in a good way.
I mean, I'm not posh.
I grew up in a bad-ass hood in Valladolid.
You know Valladolid? No?
We call it "The Bronx".
I'm from a really dodgy neighborhood. Like the ghetto, but worse.
Once a kid tried to steal my wallet
and I beat him senseless... Bosh!
I beat him up so bad, his own mom couldn't even recognize him.
I got put away.
'Cos I killed him.
I gave him the hiding of his life.
No, I mean, I didn't kill him, but... almost.
Don't take me too literally...
But I think you get what I mean, right?
You're crazy!
Fucking hell!
Yo, Ortiguilla!
Cleaning your shirts is impossible!
I scrubbed them, but what's in your sweat?
- Acid or something? - This is Piojito.
He cleans, cooks, carries the instruments, stuff like that.
Their slave, basically.
Is this the new keyboard player?
We're going to decide that right now.
- What are you going to do to me? - Remove your kidney.
That's the plan.
For each lie you tell, we take an organ.
Get in the bath.
Keep your clothes on!
Get in.
A Lolo has to be able to sing come rain or shine.
- We've all done it. - It's the test.
Grab the rubber duck!
Now sing something for us.
"I could be your crazy man and you my crazy woman".
- What do we do? - This dude's a joke, he's no Pieza....
Yeah, but the gig's tomorrow.
Quick or he'll freeze to death!
He'll have to do.
You can get out now.
- You're on trial. - Thanks!
Easy! One mistake and you're out.
You're not a Lolo yet. You need our stamp.
What stamp?
Camarón.
The legend.
The God of Flamenco.
But... that's Che Guevara.
Shut up, it's Camarón! From his bad old days!
He drank a bottle of tequila, 'cos he's scared of needles
and he got the wrong photo!
You want me to tell the goat story?
Now we have a keyboard player, it's time to party...
Fancy some lines?
Ball Buster, you suck at this!
Are you a pacifist or something?
Enough shoot-em-ups.
Who wants some blow?
Blow fish! The best in all of Andalusia.
Damn right!
Now I want a reefer.
Is that a dessert?
Sure, a chocolate one.
Sounds good!
Damn good!
Roll a spliff, man.
- A what? - A joint!
Do we have to explain everything? Don't you smoke?
Of course I do. I smoke a lot.
Pass me the lighter.
You wouldn't believe how much hash I smoke!
Smoking all day long! I smoke drugs non-stop...
I don't stop for a single second.
I even smoke in the shower!
No, not in the shower, 'cos it gets wet...
- What's that? - Fuck! It's Mari!
- You can't smoke that here! - I told him!
I told him he can't smoke here, but he's a dumb ass.
He's our new keyboard player, Ball Buster.
What a nice name!
Can you keep an eye on my dad? He's bored over there.
Sure! Wheel him over.
- Here. - We'll take care of him.
Thanks!
Juanito, how's it going?
Juanito, the instigator!
Always causing trouble, the old bastard!
Lean in, he wants to tell you something.
- Closer! He speaks softly. - Of course! Look how old he is!
Careful, he bites!
You guys are fun!
Are you anemic or something?
Smoke!
Good shit!
No, I don't smoke.
It kills the brain cells.
Pass it here.
Lolo...
Isn't that your dad's daughter?
Luci! Come over here!
Look at her, man! She's a real beauty!
Like a Roman goddess!
I wish I was a wet suit, so I'd be stuck to that body!
- What you got there? - Sea urchins. Want one?
Holy fuck! That stings so bad!
- Pass that here. - And I'm the bad-tempered one?
- What? - What did I say about that wedding?
Oh, give it a rest!
We know who Abeledo is, but it's three grand a head!
That's a lot of fucking money!
Always doing whatever the hell you like. What am I even here for?
- What's the band called? - Don't start or I'll punch you!
This is Luci, our manager.
She's sweeter than shit!
- Hi. - Hi.
Luci, you said?
Watch it! She's my sister.
Give her the eye and I'll smash your face in.
What? No, I wouldn't look at her!
Why not? You think I'm ugly?
- No! - You calling my sister ugly?
Let him speak! You think I'm ugly?
- Well? - Hey, look...
We're messing with you, man!
Ah, OK! You were joking...
- But don't touch my sister, OK? - What?
- I have to give you the go-ahead. - I can hook up with whoever I want!
What are you talking about?
- You're such a feminist! - That's not even an insult, you jerk!
I'm going home.
We'll talk about the gig later. This isn't over yet.
Ignore her.
Deep down, she's a sweetheart.
Here.
Dude! What's with you?
You need to hydrate, man! You're having a whitey!
25 DAYS UNTIL THE WEDDING
I saw you walking alone in the street.
Where you going? Why don't you stay here with me?
Look at you, the prettiest girl in the neighborhood.
Keep walking and I'll chase you like a kitten.
When the moon comes out I'll come to your house and make you fall in love
I know you feel the same, you'll come and find me
I won't say any more
I'm the prototype of the perfect guy. I love your faults
I'll give you everything you need
I won't say any more.
You want what I have I'm the prototype of the perfect guy
I'll show you how to fly.
Bring the girls up!
Bring them up!
Give it some groove, for fuck's shake!
Hey, I'm playing. Be careful!
Leave me alone!
Let us through!
You can have free tickets to see us forever!
We'll come sing your favorite song in hospital.
This is the best day ever!
Lolo, can you sign my collar?
Sure! Luci, get me a pen.
What's your name?
Rocío del Carmen Cruz de la Torre Iglesias del Río.
For "Roci" with love!
Take care, sweetie!
We might spend all day messing around,
but on stage, we're professionals.
And our fans are sacred.
You're out of the band.
I'm sorry, I swear! I lost my nerve.
Look on the bright side.
Now you know I don't fit in with those people
and you've still got time to find someone else before the wedding.
Can you touch the tip of your nose with your tongue?
No.
One more word and I'll grab your tongue and make it touch your nose,
your forehead and your asshole!
Give me your cell! You're going to call and beg them to take you back.
Lolo won't change his mind, he was really pissed.
- It's Lolo! - Give me that!
I won't say any more.
You're not a perfect guy, Ball Buster.
But I love your faults...
Ball Buster! They moved up tomorrow's gig.
See you at mine at six on the dot.
You told me not to come back.
I say lots of things! Tomorrow at six.
OK.
- At 6. - Yes!
Cool. Kiss kiss!
See you!
OK...
I'm in love with life, although sometimes it hurts.
If I'm cold,
I look for fire.
If I'm cold, I look for fire.
Flying, flying, flying, I'm flying now.
I'm flying back, back, back.
I'm flying, flying, I'm flying back, back, back.
And on the journey, I entertain myself...
One, two, three, four, mother-fucking world!
Hey, Ball Buster!
Photoshop, get him a plate!
He can get it himself, I'm fucked.
Here. Grilled mackerel.
It's to die for!
- Can I have a fork? - A fork? You eat it with your fingers!
Come on, I don't bite.
No, you pig! You can feed yourself!
Ah, OK!
It's delicious.
You should be a chef.
I've thought about it.
Stop thinking so much and do it!
It'll keep you away from Antoñito's boys.
We were only hanging out.
Chipiron got a new motorbike to impress the girls.
Let him impress his mom!
I don't want you hanging out with those guys, OK?
Do you hear me?
That's my boy!
And you! Watch yourself too. I don't want to hear you're taking drugs.
The Lolos and drugs don't mix.
- What about the joints? - Hey!
Joints aren't drugs.
And what those narcos you're gonna play for sell? Are they drugs?
Here we go again!
- Fuck off! - You fuck off!
- Maybe I will! - Go on then!
I'm going!
- Grab your jacket! - Grab your balls!
Text when you get home!
You'll have to learn to read first, asshole!
I brought you a gift for not kicking me out of the band.
You thought coming back would be free?
What?
Piojito, take a vacation.
Seriously? Thanks, man!
From now on, you're gonna drive,
load the van, clean the house and do the laundry.
OK, sounds fair enough to me.
You're not gonna do it? You wanna be back in the group?
- Yes! - So we have to baptize you again!
Take that, dumb ass!
You enjoying that, man?
Welcome back to The Lolos!
- I'll leave the rest here for you. - All for you!
If my keyboard's fucked, I'm gonna kill you guys!
- The song from the other day? - Yeah.
- You gonna do it again? - I reckon, yeah.
Let's go?
- Is everything ready? - Yeah.
Make it good, guys, there are 1,000 people out there.
- 1,000? - Come on guys, group hug!
Group hug!
- We're gonna rock this shit, right? - Yeah!
This is gonna be our best fucking show! Am I right?
- Yeah! - Am I right?
- Yeah! - Let's do this!
One, two, three, Lolos!
Come on, man!
What are you doing? I go out last, I'm the star!
- I can't play for all those people. - But you did it the other day.
And look what happened!
That's why I gave up music.
I go out there and my hands and legs start shaking.
- I panic! - Get on stage already!
Get on that stage or I'll stab you!
Leave me alone!
- I can't breath! - What?
I can't breath!
Listen to me.
Let me give you some advice on how to relax.
Tell me it's not smoking weed.
OK... Another piece of advice! Don't think.
- What? - Music is art.
It doesn't come from here, it comes from in there.
Ball Buster...
You play better than all of us put together.
You just need to switch off your mind and light up your heart.
Damn, I'm poetic!
Come on! Get out there and show them who you are.
I'll let you come out last.
Lolo, Lolo, Lolo!
That went pretty well! I played almost all the songs!
Until you fainted!
It was just low blood sugar.
You're so uptight, man! Like you've got a stick up your ass!
We've been sitting here half an hour!
No one will let me in! Look!
- Just put your foot down! - You can go, come on!
- This is an entry ramp! - So what?
An entry ramp!
It's their right of way, but no one wants to let me in!
- You think too much! - Step on it, already!
Stop flashing your lights at me!
Hey! Do you want us to have an accident?
We have to get that stick out of his ass somehow!
I'm the prototype of the perfect guy
I love your faults.
I'll give you everything you need
I won't say any more, you want what I have
I'm the prototype of the perfect guy.
I'll show you how to fly.
It may look like I'm here to give you flowers.
But Lolo just wants to blow your mind.
Girl, you can play with me, but watch out
I've got an electric cable down here.
You know who it is that turns you on.
So let me kiss you on the mouth.
And get your heart pumping
I don't need a Lamborghini, 'cos I'm Lolo
I don't need any gold, 'cos I'm Lolo.
Come with me, I have it all
'Cos I'm Lolo, 'cos I'm Lolo.
It may look like I'm here to give you flowers.
But Lolo just wants to blow your mind.
Mr. Ball Buster!
- The girls are going to sit here. - On this table here?
15 DAYS UNTIL THE WEDDING
No, that's reserved for my guest. They can sit here,
by the dance floor. You'll be dancing the whole time anyway.
- What about Aunt Luisa? - Here, by the toilet.
- OK. - To avoid any accidents.
Look! He looks like he's gonna shit himself!
He never puts his keyboard down. Not even to go for a shit!
Guys! I wrote a song.
I wrote a song.
The bass is really Trap.
It's not really my style, but it turned out pretty good.
- Does it have lyrics? - Of course!
Cool, you wanna write them down?
- Sure. - You need a pen?
Yeah.
Here you go.
You get me?
I'm the only one who writes music around here!
Look Lolo, your songs are fine.
They're great! It's just... Musically speaking, they're very simple.
Someone had to tell him, right?
Not to mention the sexist lyrics.
I mean it in the nicest possible way.
Well, in the nicest possible way, you're a retard!
You just play the keyboard and shut up.
How can I be sexist when I have a sister?
- Wow! - My band's on trend.
We even have a fag!
Suck my dick!
What are you laughing at?
He's right.
Just look at the titles...
"Bad Girl", "Traitor", "Crazy Bitch".
I saw you walking alone in the street.
Where you going?
Keep walking and I'll chase you like a kitten.
- You sound like a stalker. - It's romantic!
Just a bit of gallantry!
Lolo just wants to blow your mind.
But watch out, I've got an electric cable down here.
What's this band called?
Oh, don't start with this again!
Ball Buster, what's this band called?
- The Lolos. - And why's it called that?
Is Ortiguilla's name Lolo?
Is Photoshop's name Lolo? Is Piojito's name Lolo?
- I don't know their real names. - And you don't need to!
If it was called Ball Buster, you'd write the songs,
but it's called "The Lolos", so...
Zip it!
Hey, you!
What's that face for? You look like a turkey at Christmas.
So...
What's your song called?
It's called...
"Empower yourself"!
- Empower yourself? - Fuck off!
OK, OK!
OK, Photoshop, give me a soft bass.
Two, three and...
No, wait! Stop, stop, stop...
I said softly, OK?
COUSIN PEPA
One, two, three, four...
That's it.
Hang back a bit.
Hold on.
Ortiguilla, you ready?
One, two, three, four...
That's it!
Hang back.... Let them get impatient.
It's better this way.
Keep the audience waiting.
Let me sing a "Lolo" at least!
Go on then.
One, two, three and...
Lolo.
Naked like her laughter.
The queen of the caress.
She alone lights up the sun.
The princess that conquers.
Passionately smart.
She got into my heart.
I don't know how to explain.
Falling in love's a pleasure.
And I promise to love you over a low flame.
Because we have all the time in the world.
Give me little pieces of your love.
Nothing can break us up.
Even if troubles come our way.
Give me little pieces of your love.
We'll be like the air.
I have the map of your dreams.
I can see you touring 'til 2030!
- Speak later, OK? - OK!
Man, that was fucking awesome!
- Congratulations! - Let's celebrate!
Yeah!
- Isn't this a but strong for me? - Like my dick!
Water it down with this!
- Yeah, OK. - Dude!
To the new Lolo!
The best keyboard player in Cadiz, Spain and the whole world!
To Ball Buster!
Down the hatch!
No, no, no!
What are you doing here?
They're going to see us!
If I call you,
you pick up the phone!
- You think this is a game? - What are you talking about?
And that's why we call him Ball Buster!
Yeah, I'll take you fishing. I know a place that's full of fish...
Ball Buster! Ball Buster!
I'm a Lolo!
Look, I'm not proud.
This goes to the teachers who traumatized me
at the Royal Conservatory in Valladolid.
Adolfo, Cristobal! Come here and suck my dick!
Come and suck my dick!
- You can't really see me. - No? How about here?
And here?
If one person recognizes you, our plan is fucked!
I won't let you ruin 4 years of work.
I'll kill you, you fucking...
Hey! Hi!
We're going fishing, right?
Oh, yeah, yeah! This is...
- This is... - I'm his cousin.
- Yeah. - Nice to meet you.
You're going to be an uncle!
- Did you like the sonogram? - Yeah!
Really?
Congratulations! I bet it'll be a girl.
Thanks.
OK then, I'll let you go fishing.
I might call you this week to have lunch.
- Answer the phone, OK? - OK!
This place is paradise. How come nobody knows it?
Everyone knows it!
It's weird you don't. Didn't you come here in summer?
Oh, yeah...
Yeah, course I did.
- I used to go further upstream. - Where?
- What? - Where?
Further up, like I said. As if...
As if you were going that way...
- Towards Chiclana. - Towards Chiclana. Exactly!
- Sancti-Petri? - Yes! That's exactly it!
I spent so many afternoons there, swimming, diving...
scuba diving, snorkeling,
wild fishing, by hand...
We'd eat them afterwards...
That's where the water treatment place is.
- Water treatment... - The sewage plant.
The most beautiful sewage plant in Andalusia!
Ole, ole and ole!
I'm gonna go for a swim, it's so hot.
You should do the same, or you'll get sunstroke.
No, my tattoo still feels raw.
Can I have a look?
- Bend over, I can't see. - Now?
My tattoo! It stings!
But seawater's the best antiseptic there is!
Come here!
Come on! Get over here!
You look like a wet sparrow!
Quick! Hide!
Come on, move it!
You! Come here!
- Don't you know stealing's a crime? - Sir! I don't know anything!
Five... bundles...
...disappeared... last... week...
Mr. Abeledo...
He's new. He wasn't here last week.
Good team work.
Help him up.
Piojito.
Fuck Abeledo and his whole fucking family.
Everybody just looks the other way
and my idiot brother agrees to play for him!
It's such a lot of money.
Now you're looking the other way?
That's how they draw the kids in. Just once and you'll be rich.
But it's never once. If you're in, you never get out,
unless it's to go to prison.
But it's just a concert.
My dad went to jail for drug dealing.
We grew up seeing him through a glass window. Can you imagine that?
It's like Lolo's forgotten all that.
I'm sorry, I didn't know.
Hey, come here.
It's OK.
I'm sure the police won't look the other way.
They'll get them sooner than you think.
The police are useless!
They catch someone every so often, take their photo and that's that.
- There must be some good cops. - The only good cop's a dead cop.
Wow!
Thanks, I had a really good time today.
Talking about the police gets me all riled up.
Sure...
- You're turning me down? - No!
- Yes, you are! - No! I mean I am, but I'm not...
Look, it's not you, it's me.
It's just...
It's just too complicated.
But we can still be friends!
3 DAYS UNTIL THE WEDDING
OK, here's the plan.
"Operation Sea Snail".
What a crappy name!
It's corny.
They're typical from here. Like "Operation Crab" in Galicia.
Crab is much cooler than Sea Snail. Try again!
- "Operation Crustacean" -Well, at least that rhymes.
"Operation Shrimp".
"Operation Lobster".
They'll think we're obsessed with seafood!
- We could have seafood for lunch! - "Operation Fuck You"!
- And you! - OK!
Our guys will be all over the place.
Look. Here, here and here...
And here for example.
We'll go in and arrest everybody,
as soon as you point out the Ghost.
Got it?
I hope you realize that all the effort we've put in these years
now depends totally on you.
What's going to happen to The Lolos and their families when this is over?
- You don't care. - No and you shouldn't either.
You're not a Lolo, you're a cop and you're here to do your job.
If you don't want them hurt, stay focused
and don't mess this up.
Where are you going?
Do you think we're stupid?
Luci and Ball Buster saw you.
I was just helping out a friend, for fuck's sake!
A friend? A friend?
Guys!
- I have to tell you something important. - We already know.
You do?
- How'd you find out? - Luci told us.
- You knew? - So did you!
Yeah, but obviously I knew!
- Just like me. - I didn't know you knew!
- We found out at the same time. - We did?
Are you a cop?
Give me a break! Are you drunk?
Wait, what were you talking about?
Piojito's working for Abeledo.
Oh! Why didn't you say so!
What are you laughing at? This is serious, asshole!
You kiss your mother with that mouth?
I agree with you, I think it's terrible...
We're honest people, Piojo.
- We make our living by working. - Get lost, will you?
You're busting my balls!
I said no! You're not my dad!
You can all go to hell!
And you can go fuck yourself!
Little shit!
After all the love and respect I've given him.
- You go fuck yourself! - Lolo...
- Drop it, it's always the same with him. - He's a little bastard!
He'll be back.
What did you want to tell us?
There's something you don't know about me.
Please, just listen and don't jump to any conclusions.
- It's a delicate subject. - Wait.
Hypocrite! Shouting at Piojo, when you're happy to play for a narco!
Fuck! Luci, you're like a broken record.
The money he's paying you probably comes from that shipment!
But it's just a one-off.
That's what dad used to say. Just a one-off.
Fuck!
OK, fine. I'll call and cancel.
- 30 grand down the drain! - What?
Wasn't it three grand each?
What's this band called?
Orti...
You think Abeledo will take it badly?
Nah!
Abeledo's a good guy.
Well? What do think?
Beautiful.
Beautiful...
Beautiful!
It sure is beautiful.
I feel sorry for it too.
But yesterday it had a cockfight, that I bet a lot of money on,
and the dumb ass ran away.
So...
It's all about meeting expectations.
- Sorry. - You're late!
My daughter's crazy about you.
I don't know what I did wrong as a father, but that's life.
She called me crying, saying you didn't want to play at her wedding.
I couldn't care less,
but as a father, I'm afraid I have to insist.
- Yes, of course. - Sure, sure.
So?
Will you reconsider?
- Yeah, sure. - We'll play at the wedding.
Now get lost! Wait!
You'd better buy some decent suits.
No one's going to dress like crap for my daughter's wedding.
1 DAY UNTIL THE WEDDING
Adolfo, Cristobal,
come here and suck my dick...
Come and suck my dick...
Elton John!
Stop! You can't go in there.
Commissioner Pineda is in a very important meeting.
Hey! Come back!
She's trying to get me to go to sleep....
But I've got big night ahead of me...
I've got a big night...
You put an innocent keyboard player in jail.
You planted an inexperienced officer as a mole,
set up a clandestine, anti-drugs operation
that puts the best band in all of Andalusia in danger!
And worst of all,
that threatens to expose an alleged case of nepotism
between my department and the Councillor of Agriculture.
- With all due respect... - Due respect my ass!
This man joined the force on his own merits. Just look at him!
He's a brilliant kid!
I should fired you.
You can't. She's a civil servant.
And besides, she's pregnant.
Then I'll demote her! And you!
And you too!
This operation is over!
Pack your bags. We're sending you back home.
It's dangerous for you here.
Say hi to your aunt for me.
- I was trying to protect... - Shh!
I could kill you, you asshole!
Come on Pepa. It's OK.
It's just your hormones.
What the fuck are you on about, you jerk?
I hope you can sleep at night.
From now on, whatever the Ghost does is your responsibility.
Have fun at the wedding.
What's up, Assassin?
What's up, beautiful?
We have a rat.
I'm going to miss you.
Valladolid isn't so far.
700 km. I looked it up on my phone.
We should say goodbye properly, right?
What do you mean by properly?
No, no, no...!
Well... good night then.
- Are you kidding me? - What?
Do you like me or not?
Let's discuss it tomorrow, OK?
Screw you! Clit tease!
- What are you doing here? - Hey, Elton John!
You thought you'd get away with it?
Who does he think he is rejecting me?
Well I'm not having it!
I want you to give back what's mine.
The coke your boss stole from me.
- Be here in an hour. - OK.
And bring it all.
Freeze, dick shit!
Come on. Turn around.
One thing's taking a tiny bit of hash to dress up my smokes,
but helping you give 5 kg of coke back to a drug dealer is quite another!
You take hash from the registry to roll joints?
Of course, it's very humid in there.
It gets ruined and then you can't smoke it.
Enough already!
We need to focus.
- If I'm not back in 5, call the police. - We are the police!
We should go and kick the door down and arrest them all.
Put that away! People can see you.
If we do that, the Ghost will know and it'll be the Lolos who pay.
Stay here and do nothing.
- OK. - Good.
Elton John!
It had better all be here.
Where are you going? Come in and say hi.
Come and say hi, because this guy...
I think you already know.
Party's over, guys! Time to get to work!
You've got a week to sell it all. Here, one for you, two for you.
Come on! Let's get moving!
And buy yourselves some clothes, you're a mess!
And this one? This one's for you, kid.
It's time to do business.
Let's get moving, 'cos summer is here!
- No, man. - What?
I paid off my debt with the last job.
This isn't for me.
So what is for you, dickwad?
What is for you, eh?
- If he wants to quit... - Shut it! I do the thinking round here!
Or you wanna eat this? You're my partner. Sit down!
You're going to tell me everything you do.
Everything Pepa and the fucking Cadiz police do.
Unless you want me to talk.
And now... to celebrate the business,
Let's drink!
That dumb ass!
No!
Police? I'm a colleague...
I'll drink it myself. Pussies!
What the fuck have those kids forgotten now?
What now, assholes?
- What are you doing here, man? - Hello.
Abeledo! You're being played!
I'm the only one who can help you, Abeledo.
Elton John's a cop.
Shut the fuck up!
After everything I've done for you,
this is how you pay me back, rat?
You're a mother fucking rat!
On your feet!
Get the fuck outside!
Ungrateful bastard!
Abeledo, I swear I have nothing to do with this.
Please!
Ow, you bit me!
Piojito, hold on! I'm here with you Piojito.
Hang in there!
Call an ambulance!
We meet at last. This way, please.
THE WEDDING
Damn! How didn't we think of it before?
- What? - "Operation Camarón".
Nah, man! Too obvious.
Do we really have to take this guy with us?
Yes. Apparently we owe him.
It's cool, I've spent my whole life preparing for this moment.
OK, let's see....
Good, camera's ready.
You identify the Ghost
and as soon as he leaves the wedding we'll arrest him.
This operation's illegal. If something happens, we can't help you.
Sure you want to do it?
Yes.
Ready!
- Sebas' camera? - Sebas' camera is... on.
Let's go?
You lying son of a bitch!
- Tell me it's not true. - What?
Piojito's in the ICU thanks to you!
- Why were you with Antoñito last night? - It's not what you think.
I saw you two dealing and now he's dead and Piojito was with him.
Tell me you're not a fucking drug dealer!
- Fuck, he's gonna tell them everything! - No way, calm down!
Sebas isn't stupid.
- I'm a cop. - What the fuck?
I infiltrated the band so I'd be at the wedding to identify a narco.
Antoñito was an informer, that's why we were talking.
It was Abeledo who killed him and beat up Piojito.
They'll think we turned them in!
- No, they promised to protect you. - Those people don't forget!
That guy wants to flood this place with heroine.
Should I look the other way?
I'm so sorry I lied to you guys.
I just wanted to protect you.
- If we play, we're dead. - And if we don't too!
I'm too young to die! I haven't seen my team play in the 1st division!
We have to play.
It's the only fucking way.
But if we make it out of this,
you'd better never set foot in Cadiz again.
Hold it.
Hiding any machine guns?
Oh, sure! And we're wired up too!
- Take off your clothes. - Oh fuck!
I'm kidding!
You can go in. I'm a huge fan.
Yes!
But leave your phones here.
I'm expecting a call, my cousin's pregnant...
To the bride and groom!
Wait here a second.
- Mr. Abeledo, the orchestra's here. - Orchestra?
So disrespectful!
I'll be right back to introduce you to "you know who".
I knew you were all smart guys.
Half now.
The rest, later.
Are you going to need an invoice?
I hope you're up to the task.
- Yes, yes, of course. - Good.
- One moment. - What?
- What's up?
- You can't leave... - No, no, no!
Until you sign this for my daughter. What's his problem?
We wanted to bring Fany a signed album,
- but we forgot. - It's OK.
We'll sign this one on both sides.
- Do you mind? - Oh, sorry.
What happened to your hand?
I've got tendinitis.
It's very common for keyboard players.
You're not the one in the photo, are you?
What?
Are you deaf as well as blind?
- You're not the one in the photo. - The other keyboard player's in jail.
For dealing coke.
They're a terrible thing, drugs.
Well... they're not all bad.
Depends how you look at it. Some people love them.
Get out!
Find out all you can about The Lolos' keyboard player.
Gentlemen! Let's go for a walk.
We go in, you meet the Ghost
and when you leave, you forget all about it.
The Lolos!
...it's all under control.
What the fuck are you doing in here?
Sorry!
Who's that?
Is that the Ghost?
- Could be, I don't know him. - Shut up! It could be him.
No, that's not the Ghost. I've arrested him at least four times.
- He's bald as a coot. - Maybe he's wearing a wig.
- They call him "Mr. Clean". - More like "Don McLean"!
Sorry, sorry!
You're much more handsome than Pieza.
Thanks!
Sorry, sorry! I'm so sorry!
- Why can't I see? - Wait.
Give me a second, Pepa.
I can't see, I can't see.
It's Sebas' camera, it's broken!
Let's take a selfie!
Dad! Bring me my cell!
No, no photos right now.
See that idiot with my daughter?
Get him in the car... discreetly.
- Why? - I have to get back on stage.
Let's get the bride up on stage!
Come closer everyone!
The keyboard player's a cop. You have to get out of here.
I'll take care of him.
Don't let them leave.
A round of applause for Juani.
Fany!
For Fany!
If I wasn't already taken...!
I like your style!
I think it's time for the bride to say a few words.
Speech! Speech!
Thank you so much!
Let's raise our glasses for a toast
and dance like only we can... With soul! Ole!
Well, what can I say?
I remember when Alejandro and I first met...
Remember?
- Wait here a second. - Wait here, Luci.
- Now what? - What are we going to do?
Don't worry. Pepa!
Fuck!
What kind of cop are you?
OK, change of plan.
We have to find another way out.
Let's go!
- And now what? - Hold on! Let me think.
Look! It's Mari!
Mari, Mari! Where's your truck?
- What's up? - We have to leave or they'll kill us.
- What's happened? - We'll tell you on the way.
- OK, let's go. - No, we have to go out the back.
- I can't leave my dad alone. - I'll carry him. Go hide in the truck.
You can't carry my dad on your own!
- I'll help him. Let's go, quick! - Come on!
You could try and help, Juanito!
I have an idea. Help me.
- I could have carried his chair! - Let's go, he weighs a ton!
Fuck, Juanito...
What's up? Why'd you stop?
- His head! - What?
The mark on his head. It's him for sure, look...
Stop pretending. We've got you!
The game's up... Ghost!
I told you to stop pretending!
- Throw him on the floor. - What?
- Trust me! I've seen it in the movies. - OK!
Dude!
I don't doubt your police training, but...
There's no way Juanito's the narco!
He's the one in the photos.
He disappeared. We thought he was dead.
But he came back and now he has the monopoly of the whole area.
It could be anybody.
A civil servant, a politician,
the doorman in your building...
Juanito, the instigator.
Can you keep an eye on my dad?
Juanito started the business. When he got shot, Mari took over.
She's always been there.
- Shit, shit, shit, shit! - What?
- We've screwed up! - Again?
Come on, let's go!
- Want some shrimp? - Shrimp?
Luci!
- Mari's the Ghost! - What?
Mari...
Is the Ghost.
You can tell the narcos have money. Mari doesn't serve shrimp like these.
Is there any ham?
Mari's the Ghost... It's Mari!
She's the Ghost.
I can't hear a word you're saying!
Mary's the Ghost!
Get in the truck!
A dead body!
A dead waiter!
You're coming with me!
- Take the keys. - No, you drive.
My tattoo's fucked!
That bitch! Selling blow in the bar and on the streets!
Stop the van!
You're destroying people's lives, you bitch!
You make me sick!
You're the ones who make me sick!
This place would be nothing without me!
Put your foot down!
Abeledo!
He's got a gun!
That's my Ball Buster!
What you gonna shoot me with now? Your dick, asshole?
I'm gonna fuck you up, assholes!
- He's got another one! - You kiss your mom with that mouth?
Who are you? Vin Diesel?
No...
I'm Ball Buster!
Shit!
Open the door!
Get out the way!
Jump!
- Are you crazy? - Fucking jump!
Come on!
Come on, Luci!
- I've got you! - Kill me and I'll kill you!
We've got her!
Are you OK?
Buckle up!
Yeah! Let's go home.
No, we're not going anywhere. We have to arrest her.
- What? - I said buckle up!
I've had enough of your bullshit, you mother fuckers!
- What's going on? - She's trapped.
What's she doing?
Get out.
No way!
A Lolo never gives up!
I'm sorry, but I want to have kids.
Good luck, Lolito.
Orti!
What's this band called?
Come on!
Don't think about it.
Mother fuckers!
Freeze, bitch!
Yeah! Fuck you, you mother fucking bitch!
Wait... You have something on your...
Now give me a smile... for the photo. Let them see your bitch face.
Pepa, congratulations!
- You did it! - We did it!
Put it here, team!
I'm back to filing, right?
Wait, I'll take care of this one.
Come on, move it!
Orti, if I don't make it, tell your mom I love her.
- That I was always honest with her. - Dumb ass!
Sebastian.
Good luck in Valladolid.
Thanks, boss.
No, thank you.
Thank you.
- Your name's Sebastian? - Yup.
- You're leaving us? - I promise I'll come visit.
You can't go... What about our gigs?
- What about Pieza? - We'll manage.
You did it, Ball Buster!
Damn right, buddy!
- Luci. - Let's go.
These two have some unfinished business!
Thanks for not looking the other way.
Now that it's all over...
There's something I've wanted to do from the start.
- Really? What's that? - I think you already know.
- No, spell it out for me. - Really?
OK, that's fair enough.
If you think you can kiss me
after turning me down twice, you're nuts!
- But... - No buts!
You're gonna have to work for it!
Ball Buster!