1
00:00:00,334 --> 00:00:02,467
Lap. Play.
2
00:00:02,469 --> 00:00:03,735
You want to play?
3
00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:05,670
You want to play on my lap?
4
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:07,539
Or the couch?
5
00:00:07,541 --> 00:00:10,142
Eat. Car. Car.
6
00:00:10,144 --> 00:00:12,010
Now you're just
[bleep] with me.
7
00:00:12,012 --> 00:00:13,545
Girl's trip!
8
00:00:13,547 --> 00:00:16,014
Gentle.
Morning energy, please.
9
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,817
I've been up since 3:30 am.
I've already had dinner.
10
00:00:18,819 --> 00:00:21,019
[ grunting ]
11
00:00:21,021 --> 00:00:23,421
Y'know how we've always
fantasized about
12
00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:26,891
Touring the regional offices in
the lower northeastern region?
13
00:00:26,893 --> 00:00:28,893
-No.
-Poison groundwater?
14
00:00:28,895 --> 00:00:31,896
Interspecial dating?
'70s architecture?
15
00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:33,298
Hard pass.
Mere.
16
00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:36,168
It's just two best friends
hitting the road,
17
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:39,103
Eating snacks, harmonizing
to songs from my aughts mix.
18
00:00:39,105 --> 00:00:40,705
And best of all,
you don't have a choice
19
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:42,574
Because I'm your boss,
technically.
Technically.
20
00:00:42,576 --> 00:00:44,643
Car's packed
and ready to go!
21
00:00:44,645 --> 00:00:47,045
Oh, good,
printed directions.
22
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,313
Where the hell's
buttzville?
23
00:00:48,315 --> 00:00:50,248
It's where we make
the lady pump.
24
00:00:50,250 --> 00:00:51,583
The what?
25
00:00:51,585 --> 00:00:53,918
From the little miss sebben
personal protection line.
26
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,320
It's a pink shotgun
for the gal
27
00:00:55,322 --> 00:00:57,522
Who wants to look chic
downing a grouse.
28
00:00:57,524 --> 00:00:59,992
They'll let us rack
a couple, you know.
29
00:00:59,994 --> 00:01:01,393
Fine.
I'm in.
30
00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,462
Why didn't you lead
with the guns?
31
00:01:03,464 --> 00:01:04,797
You said it was urgent?
32
00:01:04,799 --> 00:01:06,331
Yep.
We're going to buttzville.
33
00:01:06,333 --> 00:01:08,733
Wow, pegging really
has gone mainstream.
34
00:01:08,735 --> 00:01:11,804
[ laughs nervously ]
what's pegging?
35
00:01:11,806 --> 00:01:14,606
Oh. The town.
Rack a couple for me.
36
00:01:14,608 --> 00:01:17,542
Ugh, it's south of assburg?
I'm back out.
37
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:21,747
Come on, we never spend any time
where it's just us girls.
38
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:27,352
Charlie, as much I'd love
a contralto in the car,
39
00:01:27,354 --> 00:01:30,022
I'm gonna need you to hold
down the fort while we're gone.
40
00:01:30,024 --> 00:01:33,025
I now pronounce you interim
ceo of sebben & sebben.
41
00:01:33,027 --> 00:01:35,828
Oh, oh, oh, wait, wait.
42
00:01:35,830 --> 00:01:37,962
Okay, I know where
this thing's been.
43
00:01:37,964 --> 00:01:39,231
Buttzville.
44
00:01:39,233 --> 00:01:40,765
♪ hey! ♪
45
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,434
[ rapping ] ♪ who's the girl
that saves the world? ♪
46
00:01:42,436 --> 00:01:43,968
♪ hey! ♪
47
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:45,170
[ rapping ] ♪ oh, my god,
oh, my god, oh, my god ♪
48
00:01:45,172 --> 00:01:47,072
[ imitating fanfare ] birdgirl!
49
00:01:49,376 --> 00:01:50,775
Mmm.
Girl's trip?
50
00:01:50,777 --> 00:01:53,045
I told you these outfits
made sense.
51
00:01:53,047 --> 00:01:56,648
Gillian, can you give birdcat
his shots while I'm away?
52
00:01:56,650 --> 00:01:58,917
[ gasps ]
it would be my great honor.
53
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:03,121
You and you --
co and dependent.
54
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:04,857
One shot every
25 minutes.
55
00:02:04,859 --> 00:02:06,391
He will resist.
56
00:02:06,393 --> 00:02:10,595
But if he's a good boy,
you can give him his spankys.
57
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:11,664
[ cat meows ]
58
00:02:11,666 --> 00:02:14,799
We could always
just put her down.
59
00:02:14,801 --> 00:02:16,401
Charlie: Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
Yeah, yeah.
60
00:02:16,403 --> 00:02:19,071
I hear you,
but you can't run this.
61
00:02:19,073 --> 00:02:20,873
She's all chin.
62
00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:26,879
Gillian, text judy's new
headshot to "the times."
63
00:02:26,881 --> 00:02:28,681
Ow!
What new headshot?
64
00:02:28,683 --> 00:02:29,882
Ow!
65
00:02:29,884 --> 00:02:31,283
[ cat growls ]
66
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:32,284
Oh.
67
00:02:32,286 --> 00:02:34,753
[ sighs ]
[ computer dings ]
68
00:02:34,755 --> 00:02:37,222
Oh, my god.
It's time.
69
00:02:37,224 --> 00:02:39,357
Gillian,
come in here, please.
70
00:02:39,359 --> 00:02:41,360
Ow! Can it wait?!
71
00:02:41,362 --> 00:02:43,796
I've got
the leadership stick.
72
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,632
Yes? Aah!
73
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:49,701
Oh...
You'll need this.
74
00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:52,437
[ inhales deeply ]
75
00:02:52,439 --> 00:02:55,640
[ screaming ]
76
00:02:55,642 --> 00:02:59,111
What the [bleep] is that?!
Aah!
77
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:02,781
Gillian.
Computer. Watch.
78
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,517
Sugar. Blood.
High. High.
79
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:09,254
♪♪
80
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,456
Judy, thank you
for shepherding me
81
00:03:11,458 --> 00:03:13,525
Through my rejuvication
process.
82
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:16,128
And special thanks for not
pawning the whole thing off
83
00:03:16,130 --> 00:03:18,463
On that dipshit, gillian.
84
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:19,932
-Hi, gillian.
-Hello.
85
00:03:19,934 --> 00:03:23,335
Every 19 years for the past
thousand or so,
86
00:03:23,337 --> 00:03:25,938
I, like the versions
of me before me,
87
00:03:25,940 --> 00:03:31,476
Shed my old skin and emerge a
more evolved version of myself.
88
00:03:31,478 --> 00:03:33,145
It keeps me at the top
of my game
89
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:35,414
And staves off any fine lines.
90
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:38,751
You said it was exfoliants
and river hooch. Over.
91
00:03:38,753 --> 00:03:40,685
Don't make me come out there.
92
00:03:40,687 --> 00:03:43,688
During stage one, it's vital
to keep my sack damp.
93
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,223
Using the provided ass bag,
94
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,492
Simply hose my sack
every eight minutes
95
00:03:47,494 --> 00:03:49,494
And keep
the walkie charged.
96
00:03:49,496 --> 00:03:50,829
Khaire!
97
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:55,834
♪♪
98
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:59,504
If feces be the food of love,
play on.
99
00:03:59,506 --> 00:04:02,507
[ phone rings ]
you got o'brien.
100
00:04:02,509 --> 00:04:04,242
I told you never to
call me here.
101
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:06,311
Okay, well, maybe I forgot to.
102
00:04:06,313 --> 00:04:08,246
I understand.
Thank you.
103
00:04:08,248 --> 00:04:10,149
And never call me here.
104
00:04:12,519 --> 00:04:13,518
[ speed dialing ]
105
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:16,088
Boys?
Meet me in the nest.
106
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,191
My source in the parking deck
107
00:04:19,193 --> 00:04:21,460
Tells me the power three
have left the building.
108
00:04:21,462 --> 00:04:23,928
And it's our time to implement
some experimental ideas
109
00:04:23,930 --> 00:04:27,666
That the man -- judy --
says are too hot for prime time.
110
00:04:27,668 --> 00:04:30,335
So who's down for blowing
the roof off sebben & sebben?
111
00:04:30,337 --> 00:04:31,804
Question:
Did you mean to invite me?
112
00:04:31,806 --> 00:04:34,406
Because sometimes people think
they're texting paul r.
113
00:04:34,408 --> 00:04:35,740
And they're disappointed.
114
00:04:35,742 --> 00:04:37,742
I just needed
a third set of balls.
115
00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:38,877
Uh-huh.
116
00:04:38,879 --> 00:04:41,213
By "set" do you mean
"a pair" because...
117
00:04:41,215 --> 00:04:43,147
So, every day, some tom,
118
00:04:43,149 --> 00:04:45,083
Dick, or harriet
makes a dumbass comment
119
00:04:45,085 --> 00:04:46,885
Or unwanted advance,
word gets out,
120
00:04:46,887 --> 00:04:48,553
And they get cancelled,
we get sued,
121
00:04:48,555 --> 00:04:50,022
And someone
has to clean up the mess.
122
00:04:50,024 --> 00:04:51,423
Please, charge that.
123
00:04:51,425 --> 00:04:53,425
That's why I've perfected
a new technology.
124
00:04:53,427 --> 00:04:54,626
Ahem.
125
00:04:54,628 --> 00:04:57,696
That's why mostly evie
perfected a new technology.
126
00:04:57,698 --> 00:05:00,232
We track employee's online
footprint to predict
127
00:05:00,234 --> 00:05:02,634
Inappropriate behavior
seconds before it happens.
128
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,237
Like, in six seconds,
paul will post
129
00:05:05,239 --> 00:05:06,971
That he invented
taco Tuesday.
130
00:05:06,973 --> 00:05:11,377
Now we can stop cancellations
by precanceling the offender.
131
00:05:12,579 --> 00:05:16,581
And ethics are in the gray area,
right where they belong.
132
00:05:16,583 --> 00:05:19,718
Fyi, anyone asks questions,
and I will drop a dime
133
00:05:19,720 --> 00:05:22,787
On all of you so fast
it'll make your nuts drop.
134
00:05:22,789 --> 00:05:24,056
Well, one of 'em.
135
00:05:24,058 --> 00:05:25,657
Is she going to be here
the whole time?
136
00:05:25,659 --> 00:05:29,327
'cause according to my book
of guy rules, no ladies allowed!
137
00:05:29,329 --> 00:05:31,864
It is literally illegal
to say that.
138
00:05:31,866 --> 00:05:33,666
Get out! Get out!
Get out!
139
00:05:33,668 --> 00:05:36,668
Get out of my room, tiffany,
or I'm gonna tell mom!
140
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:37,670
Gotta go anyway.
141
00:05:37,672 --> 00:05:41,206
Ballet recital,
in case anyone cares.
142
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:44,476
Yeah,
that won't be happening.
143
00:05:44,478 --> 00:05:46,879
So, are there risks involved?
Yes.
144
00:05:46,881 --> 00:05:48,280
Is it worth it?
No.
145
00:05:48,282 --> 00:05:49,814
Are we going to have
some fun?
146
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:51,149
Abso-[bleep]-lutely.
147
00:05:51,151 --> 00:05:53,886
I've always struggled connecting
with men until now.
148
00:05:53,888 --> 00:05:55,620
Look at us!
The trinity!
149
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:57,289
Thought I invited
paul r.
150
00:05:57,291 --> 00:05:59,224
Here's the bean dip.
151
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:02,026
Precanceling
looks a lot like kidnapping...
152
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,628
Because it is.
[ beeping ]
153
00:06:03,630 --> 00:06:05,964
Precancel alert:
Brad from bizdev is about
154
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:08,901
To initiate a "lean and creep."
155
00:06:08,903 --> 00:06:10,703
Bag 'em and drag 'em.
156
00:06:10,705 --> 00:06:12,036
[ bones crack ]
157
00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,639
[ grunting ]
158
00:06:14,641 --> 00:06:16,641
Oh, hey, sarah, look for
an nda in your inbox,
159
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:20,378
And I would sign it
if I were you.
160
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:21,846
Go for miles from accounting.
161
00:06:21,848 --> 00:06:24,583
Impending african-american
vernacular english.
162
00:06:24,585 --> 00:06:26,184
♪ watching
"neighborhood watch." ♪
163
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:28,186
♪ boost mobile on the plug,
what you need, I got ♪
164
00:06:28,188 --> 00:06:30,122
[ grunts ]
a blaccent, miles?
165
00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:32,257
Really?!
A blaccent?!
166
00:06:32,259 --> 00:06:33,325
Argh!
167
00:06:33,327 --> 00:06:35,594
Go for sandra from
consumer affairs.
168
00:06:35,596 --> 00:06:36,795
Imminent harassment.
169
00:06:36,797 --> 00:06:39,998
Hey, mike, think I can fit
this whole thing in my --
170
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,666
Ohh!
171
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:45,070
In god's name, tell me you were
gonna say "mouth," sandra.
172
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:48,340
Ohh!
Hr nightmare averted.
An hr nightmare averted.
173
00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:51,009
Go for rudy from sales for...
174
00:06:51,011 --> 00:06:52,210
[ groans ]
175
00:06:52,212 --> 00:06:53,878
Oh, boy.
176
00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:57,015
Tgif, mon!
177
00:06:57,017 --> 00:06:58,150
[ grunts ]
178
00:06:58,285 --> 00:07:00,185
[ grunts ]
179
00:07:01,822 --> 00:07:04,022
Me! Us!
Boys! Balls!
180
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:07,692
Bruh, we got to make sure we're
always on each other's teams,
181
00:07:07,694 --> 00:07:09,294
Right, like forever.
182
00:07:09,296 --> 00:07:11,163
Whoa!
Hello! Hello!
183
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:14,299
Another young lady sliding
in my dms.
184
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:16,435
That's a spam text, paul.
185
00:07:16,437 --> 00:07:18,637
I'm just trying to find
a persona that fits.
186
00:07:18,639 --> 00:07:22,641
[ muffled ] brad!
Can't breathe!
187
00:07:22,643 --> 00:07:24,243
[ phone chimes ]
188
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,046
Birdcat.
189
00:07:28,048 --> 00:07:30,649
Codfish.
Florentine-style.
190
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,584
Charlie: Feeling
a little dry in here.
191
00:07:32,586 --> 00:07:33,786
Aah! Ooh!
192
00:07:33,788 --> 00:07:38,123
5, 4, 3, 2...
193
00:07:38,125 --> 00:07:40,058
Ahh.
194
00:07:40,060 --> 00:07:42,927
[ panting ]
195
00:07:42,929 --> 00:07:48,066
Ah, bubala, buttercup, you've
completed the wetting process.
196
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:49,401
Oh, thank jesus.
197
00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:51,936
Time to start phase two.
198
00:07:51,938 --> 00:07:53,472
Please tell me you eat me.
199
00:07:53,474 --> 00:07:54,807
Unfortunately, no.
200
00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:57,142
But we are gonna need a car.
201
00:07:59,814 --> 00:08:01,413
[ grunting loudly ]
202
00:08:02,817 --> 00:08:05,484
Hey, gill.
Happy hour?
203
00:08:05,486 --> 00:08:06,951
I wish.
204
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,754
Unfortunately, though, I got
to get this rug to the cleaners.
205
00:08:09,756 --> 00:08:11,023
I diarrhea'd on it.
206
00:08:11,025 --> 00:08:12,691
Fun!
Next time!
207
00:08:12,693 --> 00:08:15,093
You can do this.
[ grunts ]
208
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,695
It's just physics.
209
00:08:16,697 --> 00:08:18,163
Argh, [bleep]!
210
00:08:18,165 --> 00:08:20,232
Charlie:
What's going on out there?
211
00:08:20,234 --> 00:08:22,701
[ cell phone ringing ]
man on tv: 22 pounds of heroin
was seized along with...
212
00:08:22,703 --> 00:08:23,968
Well, well, well.
213
00:08:23,970 --> 00:08:26,771
The day has come.
214
00:08:26,773 --> 00:08:28,373
Remember when I sent out
an all-staff
215
00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:30,042
Saying anyone
could borrow my truck?
216
00:08:30,044 --> 00:08:33,045
Every single person replied.
217
00:08:33,047 --> 00:08:34,579
Except you.
218
00:08:34,581 --> 00:08:37,382
But I knew one day
you'd come a-beggin'.
219
00:08:37,384 --> 00:08:39,184
And you're right.
I was wrong to not reply
220
00:08:39,186 --> 00:08:41,520
To your completely
inappropriate all-staff.
221
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:44,923
No, you were wrong to think
I would forgive you.
222
00:08:44,925 --> 00:08:46,925
[ crash ]
223
00:08:46,927 --> 00:08:48,260
Not so fast!
224
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:51,196
Where my truck goes,
I go.
225
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:52,531
[ tires squeal ]
226
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:56,201
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
Ow, ow, ow, ow!
227
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,802
Aah!
228
00:08:57,804 --> 00:08:59,471
Man: 911?
What's your emergency?
229
00:08:59,473 --> 00:09:01,473
It's jessica.
From accounting, yes.
230
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:02,875
I'd like to report
a stolen truck.
231
00:09:02,877 --> 00:09:04,609
And I happen to know
there's a brick of skag
232
00:09:04,611 --> 00:09:06,344
In the rocker panel.
233
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:07,880
From accounting, yes.
234
00:09:07,882 --> 00:09:09,748
[ purring ]
235
00:09:09,750 --> 00:09:11,416
You've always scared
the shit out of me,
236
00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:13,552
But I'm sleep-deprived
and I've had a medium
237
00:09:13,554 --> 00:09:16,088
Diet dr. Pepper so I'm feeling
a little [bleep]-it.
238
00:09:16,090 --> 00:09:17,890
What's going on?!
239
00:09:17,892 --> 00:09:20,425
Charlie: Let's just say I come
from a highly evolved race,
240
00:09:20,427 --> 00:09:22,227
A race of one.
241
00:09:22,229 --> 00:09:26,631
I don't even know how I got
this way, I just am.
242
00:09:26,633 --> 00:09:28,233
Where are we?
243
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,370
Um, if jeffrey dahmer
were a farmer...
244
00:09:31,372 --> 00:09:34,373
We're here!
[ squealing ]
245
00:09:34,375 --> 00:09:37,910
[ whistles ]
annabel! Chichi!
246
00:09:37,912 --> 00:09:39,444
You're late!
247
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:41,113
Where'd you find this one?
248
00:09:41,115 --> 00:09:42,514
Am I dumb?
249
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:45,784
Oh, my god!
That pig is adorable.
250
00:09:45,786 --> 00:09:47,119
[ whistles ]
251
00:09:47,121 --> 00:09:53,057
♪♪
252
00:09:53,059 --> 00:09:54,659
I love animals!
253
00:09:54,661 --> 00:09:56,995
Speaking of which,
meet my son, cj!
254
00:09:56,997 --> 00:10:00,198
He was but a wisp the last time
you saw him, eh, charlie?
255
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,601
She must be molting.
256
00:10:02,603 --> 00:10:06,204
We've got...Elev--
twelve pieces of chicken,
257
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:09,341
So everyone can have four.
258
00:10:09,343 --> 00:10:10,809
Four pieces of chicken.
259
00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:14,279
Stop trying to force
chicken down our throats.
260
00:10:14,281 --> 00:10:15,547
Nobody likes your rub!
261
00:10:15,549 --> 00:10:17,882
You don't like my rub!
262
00:10:17,884 --> 00:10:19,818
We'll order thai.
263
00:10:19,820 --> 00:10:21,419
Gillian...
264
00:10:21,421 --> 00:10:23,155
I've got this!
No, I've got this!
265
00:10:23,157 --> 00:10:24,889
5, 4, 3, 2...
I'm her assistant!
266
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:26,224
I'm her attendant!
267
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,560
[ both gasp ]
they both gasp.
268
00:10:28,562 --> 00:10:33,031
A moment shared between
a woman and a man.
269
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:34,499
We'll both do it.
270
00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,701
So you know,
I don't work well with others.
271
00:10:36,703 --> 00:10:40,305
There've been a few
hr complaints.
272
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,706
Those your guncles?
273
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:44,109
All will be
revealed in time.
274
00:10:44,111 --> 00:10:46,244
Mind the clypeal sheath!
275
00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:49,181
Welcome to the cancel cabin!
276
00:10:49,183 --> 00:10:51,716
This is bullshit!
277
00:10:51,718 --> 00:10:53,852
We prevented each of you
from being cancelled.
278
00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,788
You'll still be able
to google yourself
279
00:10:55,790 --> 00:10:58,791
And go to a kids' talent show.
You're welcome.
280
00:10:58,793 --> 00:11:01,259
Dog with bucket hat: Some of you
will pump sebben & sebben stock,
281
00:11:01,261 --> 00:11:02,927
Others will dump it.
282
00:11:02,929 --> 00:11:05,063
Paychecks can be cashed there.
283
00:11:05,065 --> 00:11:08,467
We will issue a debit card
connected to your paycheck.
284
00:11:08,469 --> 00:11:10,602
Your card can be used
at the company store
285
00:11:10,604 --> 00:11:13,071
Where everything costs $14.
286
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:17,342
Is it supposed to be this
c-c-cold in here?
287
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:19,211
Those are $14.
Officer?
288
00:11:19,213 --> 00:11:24,817
Yes, yes it's supposed to be
this cold because this is work!
289
00:11:24,819 --> 00:11:27,952
My job is to make sure
things run smoothly.
290
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:31,623
And her job is to tune
up troublemakers.
291
00:11:31,625 --> 00:11:35,894
Oh, my god, guys,
I am loving this persona!
292
00:11:35,896 --> 00:11:37,696
Whoa.
293
00:11:37,698 --> 00:11:40,632
An original 19th century
hatching room.
294
00:11:40,634 --> 00:11:42,434
They don't make 'em
like this anymore.
295
00:11:42,436 --> 00:11:44,636
I do a lot of reading
on birthing techniques.
296
00:11:44,638 --> 00:11:48,373
That's how I know
it's pronounced birthing.
297
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,708
Charlie: Whoa!
298
00:11:49,710 --> 00:11:51,710
Well, looks like stage
one's complete,
299
00:11:51,712 --> 00:11:54,446
So if you don't need me anymore,
I'm gonna call it.
300
00:11:54,448 --> 00:11:56,715
This part of the process
could take days.
301
00:11:56,717 --> 00:12:00,385
I could use another steady
pair of hands and...
302
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,054
Sturdy calves.
303
00:12:02,056 --> 00:12:04,256
I do wide squats
three days a week.
304
00:12:04,258 --> 00:12:06,525
Please stay.
For her.
305
00:12:06,527 --> 00:12:08,593
For...Me.
306
00:12:08,595 --> 00:12:10,128
Do you have
a points program?
307
00:12:10,130 --> 00:12:13,899
I'll have cj make up the guest
room where we keep the dolls.
308
00:12:15,469 --> 00:12:18,470
Music playing ]
do you have
a points program?
309
00:12:18,472 --> 00:12:20,873
What's that?
310
00:12:20,875 --> 00:12:23,475
That's...Our
office building.
311
00:12:23,477 --> 00:12:26,010
Where's the rest of it?
312
00:12:26,012 --> 00:12:27,546
And what's that?
313
00:12:27,548 --> 00:12:30,348
That's cade.
He works in receiving.
314
00:12:30,350 --> 00:12:32,384
Where's the rest of it?
315
00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,686
I'm being sexual.
316
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,688
Mere, take a pic of me
in front of it.
317
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:39,391
I've never seen a one-story
building!
318
00:12:42,496 --> 00:12:43,962
Guys, I've got something
to show you.
319
00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,230
His teste?
320
00:12:45,232 --> 00:12:48,032
What do you give the men
who have everything?
321
00:12:48,034 --> 00:12:50,769
Well, their very own
77-foot man bus!
322
00:12:50,771 --> 00:12:52,404
[ horn blares ]
323
00:12:56,176 --> 00:12:58,911
I got a hook-up in
the recreational vehicle space.
324
00:12:58,913 --> 00:13:01,580
That margarita machine
ain't foolin' around.
325
00:13:01,582 --> 00:13:02,715
How'd you pay for this?
326
00:13:02,717 --> 00:13:05,517
Easy.
He gave me an 18.5%
327
00:13:05,519 --> 00:13:07,786
96 month loan
which I collateralized
328
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:10,054
Against the stack
we're gonna make out there.
329
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:12,725
It's all funny money,
right, bros? [ laughs ]
330
00:13:12,727 --> 00:13:15,193
[bleep] you,
the man-slash-judy!
331
00:13:15,195 --> 00:13:17,662
That's our money, paul.
Wait...
332
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:20,399
Is that an entire wall
of big macs?
333
00:13:21,335 --> 00:13:24,937
You must be wondering
what my part is in all this.
334
00:13:24,939 --> 00:13:28,072
I was more wondering why there's
a goat on the table, but sure.
335
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:30,075
I come from a centuries-old line
of attendants
336
00:13:30,077 --> 00:13:32,611
Who've ushered miss charlie
through her rebirth.
337
00:13:32,613 --> 00:13:35,880
And when I'm gone,
cj will take my place.
338
00:13:35,882 --> 00:13:40,719
If, and when, he stops
forcing chicken on people!
339
00:13:41,555 --> 00:13:43,155
[ splat! ]
you don't like my rub!
340
00:13:43,157 --> 00:13:46,758
Sure, I had other dreams,
but the enema bag,
341
00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,493
She's a stern mistress.
342
00:13:48,495 --> 00:13:50,829
Oh, charles, I understand.
343
00:13:50,831 --> 00:13:54,967
Because, I, too, was born with
my destiny already forewritten.
344
00:13:54,969 --> 00:13:57,836
The sans pinky.
Everyone in my family has it.
345
00:13:57,838 --> 00:14:01,239
It's a genetic gift that
makes us superior assistants.
346
00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:04,509
It allows me full keyboard
access with one hand.
347
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:05,778
It's my gift.
348
00:14:05,780 --> 00:14:08,112
And my burden.
349
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:10,048
♪♪
350
00:14:10,050 --> 00:14:14,119
♪ the winner takes it all ♪
351
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:18,523
♪ the loser's standing small ♪
352
00:14:18,525 --> 00:14:21,259
♪ beside the victory ♪
353
00:14:21,261 --> 00:14:25,497
♪ that's her destiny ♪
354
00:14:26,867 --> 00:14:29,934
Bam! A crisp $50
to today's top closer,
355
00:14:29,936 --> 00:14:33,138
And it ain't gonna be
hugh the way he's [bleep] going!
356
00:14:33,140 --> 00:14:35,540
Given that we've only been here
45 minutes,
357
00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:38,811
I'm not sure it's fair
to judge me. [ groans ]
358
00:14:38,813 --> 00:14:41,746
Please, I beg you,
a little heat.
359
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:44,216
I've lost feeling
below the waist.
360
00:14:44,218 --> 00:14:47,019
Aw, happy holidays.
361
00:14:47,021 --> 00:14:49,154
[ screams ]
362
00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:51,556
Thanks for supporting
my vision, fellas.
363
00:14:51,558 --> 00:14:54,426
This never would've happened
with judy ken bottomline.
364
00:14:54,428 --> 00:14:57,162
[ laughs ] bottomline.
Classic.
365
00:14:57,164 --> 00:14:59,832
I tell ya, when I was four,
mother had one of her spells
366
00:14:59,834 --> 00:15:01,900
And took to her bed
for three years,
367
00:15:01,902 --> 00:15:03,969
Making me the lady
of the house.
368
00:15:05,506 --> 00:15:07,105
Listen, maybe we -- us,
369
00:15:07,107 --> 00:15:09,774
Are about more than
just ripping farts.
370
00:15:09,776 --> 00:15:12,777
When's the last time
you were vulnerable?
371
00:15:12,779 --> 00:15:15,313
What do you wish you said
to your gran gran
372
00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:17,782
Before she passed?
373
00:15:17,784 --> 00:15:19,852
[ sniffles ]
374
00:15:19,854 --> 00:15:21,386
[ sobs ]
375
00:15:21,388 --> 00:15:23,788
Nana?
376
00:15:23,790 --> 00:15:25,190
Please, no.
Please, no.
377
00:15:25,192 --> 00:15:27,526
I've got a family of pugs
at home.
378
00:15:27,528 --> 00:15:30,128
I brought stuff
for s'mores!
379
00:15:30,130 --> 00:15:32,865
Well, I forgot marshmallows
and chocolate.
380
00:15:32,867 --> 00:15:36,801
It's been lovely
having you here.
381
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:39,337
We're used to rattling
around the manse by ourselves.
382
00:15:39,339 --> 00:15:42,274
Just out of curiosity,
where's cj's mother?
383
00:15:42,276 --> 00:15:44,943
He doesn't have one.
I grew him in the hatching room.
384
00:15:44,945 --> 00:15:47,011
♪ the winner takes it all ♪
385
00:15:47,013 --> 00:15:48,747
♪ takes it all ♪
386
00:15:48,749 --> 00:15:50,815
♪ the loser has to fall ♪
387
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,617
♪ has to fall ♪
388
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,619
♪ it's simple and it's plain ♪
389
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,088
♪ yes, it's plain ♪
390
00:15:56,090 --> 00:15:58,156
♪ why should I complain? ♪
391
00:15:58,158 --> 00:16:00,092
♪ why complain? ♪
392
00:16:00,094 --> 00:16:02,427
♪ but tell me, does she kiss? ♪
393
00:16:02,429 --> 00:16:03,628
[ tool whirring ]
394
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,230
You pushed it
too far, paul.
395
00:16:05,232 --> 00:16:09,501
You broke the only rule --
you tried to make us feel.
396
00:16:09,503 --> 00:16:13,105
I started to feel something
and I never feel something!
397
00:16:13,107 --> 00:16:14,639
I'm so pissed at you, bro!
398
00:16:14,641 --> 00:16:16,308
Uh, what do we do with him?
399
00:16:16,310 --> 00:16:18,176
How about we just leave
his body in the woods
400
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,178
And then wolves will come
and finish the work for us.
401
00:16:20,180 --> 00:16:22,380
I like the way
this is going.
402
00:16:22,382 --> 00:16:24,649
No body, no crime.
403
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,451
I'd like to strenuously object
to the manner
404
00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:28,853
In which we have
been detained in this cabin.
405
00:16:28,855 --> 00:16:30,789
Let us handle this, frenchie,
406
00:16:30,791 --> 00:16:33,858
We're going to get
our $14 worth.
407
00:16:33,860 --> 00:16:36,128
[ gagging ]
408
00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:42,867
Because it's us, I'm gonna
assume there's no fire exit.
409
00:16:42,869 --> 00:16:46,204
Yep!
Now we'll be together forever.
410
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,672
[ laughs ]
411
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:50,208
[ retches ] oh, god.
412
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:52,544
Gillian: If we ever shared
divine love,
413
00:16:52,546 --> 00:16:56,615
You must protect me
and my pinkie at all costs.
414
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,554
[ meows ]
415
00:17:02,556 --> 00:17:03,888
[ gasps ]
did you hear that?
416
00:17:03,890 --> 00:17:05,624
Probably a chicken.
417
00:17:05,626 --> 00:17:08,026
Ah, your lips.
What was that?
418
00:17:08,028 --> 00:17:09,894
Probably cj
or a chicken.
419
00:17:09,896 --> 00:17:12,230
Just go back
to what you were doing.
420
00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,632
[ gasps ]
421
00:17:13,634 --> 00:17:15,033
[ whimpers ]
422
00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:17,702
Oh, dear god,
what have we done?
423
00:17:17,704 --> 00:17:20,773
Charlie: Get me the [bleep]
out of here!
424
00:17:24,645 --> 00:17:27,712
You had one job and now
my rejuvication is blown!
425
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:31,383
And you released my skin sack
before we had a chance to fuse.
426
00:17:31,385 --> 00:17:33,918
By the way,
I could hear everything.
427
00:17:33,920 --> 00:17:37,456
Charles, you talk way
too much when you're [bleep].
428
00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:39,457
And you're fired.
429
00:17:39,459 --> 00:17:40,592
But my blood oath!
430
00:17:40,594 --> 00:17:43,662
Like my father and his father
before him.
431
00:17:43,664 --> 00:17:45,129
[ engine starts ]
432
00:17:45,131 --> 00:17:48,066
[ horn plays "dixie" ]
433
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:49,934
That thing can drive?
434
00:17:49,936 --> 00:17:51,536
That thing is 10% of me,
435
00:17:51,538 --> 00:17:54,873
So it can do anything it
damn well sets its mind to.
436
00:17:56,276 --> 00:17:57,942
Put those in milk.
437
00:17:57,944 --> 00:18:01,746
[ country music plays ]
438
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:04,749
[ cell phone rings ]
439
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:06,284
You got diane here.
440
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:07,752
Judy?
Diane!
441
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:09,822
Regular old line worker
diane.
442
00:18:09,824 --> 00:18:11,556
Hey, uh, we've run into
a little problem
443
00:18:11,558 --> 00:18:13,425
And I think you guys
might want to get back here.
444
00:18:13,427 --> 00:18:17,029
My name's also diane
but with a hard e.
445
00:18:17,031 --> 00:18:20,032
Dian-ee.
[ laughs ]
446
00:18:20,034 --> 00:18:23,368
Gillian.
Gillianianiana.
447
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:26,571
You have got to get
your flat ass out here.
448
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:29,974
So, charlie has this little
thing she does every 19 --
449
00:18:29,976 --> 00:18:32,644
The rejuvication!
What year is this?!
450
00:18:32,646 --> 00:18:34,112
1991!
451
00:18:34,114 --> 00:18:35,914
Since you're clearly
up to speed --
452
00:18:35,916 --> 00:18:37,249
The skin sack's escaped.
453
00:18:37,251 --> 00:18:40,185
Oh. My. God.
454
00:18:40,187 --> 00:18:41,586
Birdsteam?
455
00:18:41,588 --> 00:18:43,788
No.
Go!
456
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,457
[ siren wailing ]
457
00:18:45,459 --> 00:18:51,129
♪♪
458
00:18:51,131 --> 00:18:53,998
Oh, god.
[ panting raggedly ]
459
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,801
I didn't know how much
I needed fellowship,
460
00:18:56,803 --> 00:18:59,337
But now I can't
live without it.
461
00:18:59,339 --> 00:19:02,207
You'll never be one of us,
but you're all right.
462
00:19:02,209 --> 00:19:03,542
He's not all right!
463
00:19:03,544 --> 00:19:05,810
He swallowed the keys,
and we're all gonna die!
464
00:19:05,812 --> 00:19:07,946
What's this?
A secret exit.
465
00:19:07,948 --> 00:19:09,548
This wasn't
worth mentioning?!
466
00:19:09,550 --> 00:19:12,016
Then it wouldn't be secret,
would it, marty?
467
00:19:12,018 --> 00:19:14,887
It's hugh, brian.
I was your best man.
468
00:19:14,889 --> 00:19:16,955
♪♪
469
00:19:16,957 --> 00:19:18,724
Charlie: Stop!
470
00:19:20,895 --> 00:19:22,494
It's close.
471
00:19:22,496 --> 00:19:23,828
She can sense it.
472
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,898
No, gillian, I have a nose.
473
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:28,366
It smells like pork rinds
and gooch.
474
00:19:28,368 --> 00:19:29,568
[ growl ]
475
00:19:29,570 --> 00:19:31,970
-Scarlie?
-Aah!
476
00:19:31,972 --> 00:19:34,839
-Scarlie, no!
-Help me!
477
00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:36,375
No!
It's too late.
478
00:19:36,377 --> 00:19:37,910
-Bad scarlie.
-He's gone.
479
00:19:37,912 --> 00:19:40,044
-Help me!
-Scarlie!
480
00:19:40,046 --> 00:19:41,780
Nothing to do now
but watch.
481
00:19:41,782 --> 00:19:44,917
Cj: There are so many things
besides watch that you could do!
482
00:19:44,919 --> 00:19:46,384
He's with
the chickens now.
483
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:47,720
Charlie:
A little help?
484
00:19:47,722 --> 00:19:49,788
Any kind of disinfectant!
485
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:51,357
[ siren wails ]
486
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,728
Paul: Two-day road trip
with the bros!
487
00:19:56,730 --> 00:19:58,196
I'll get my clothes back on.
488
00:19:58,198 --> 00:19:59,998
Meredith: Hey, kid,
make yourself useful
489
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,734
And give me a piggyback.
490
00:20:01,736 --> 00:20:05,804
Charlie: Scarlie, don't run!
491
00:20:05,806 --> 00:20:08,140
Scarlie.
492
00:20:08,142 --> 00:20:10,008
We're not going to hurt you.
493
00:20:10,010 --> 00:20:12,144
[ grunting ]
494
00:20:12,146 --> 00:20:15,480
Come here, pretty girl.
495
00:20:15,482 --> 00:20:17,549
Yeah, mamma's got you.
496
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,284
Come on.
Come on.
497
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,022
There you go.
498
00:20:24,024 --> 00:20:27,559
♪♪
499
00:20:27,561 --> 00:20:29,093
Birdcat, bad!
500
00:20:29,095 --> 00:20:32,097
♪♪
501
00:20:32,099 --> 00:20:34,499
Two charlies,
can't tell who's who.
502
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:36,501
Are you [bleep]
kidding me?
503
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:38,170
You're such
a lightweight.
504
00:20:38,172 --> 00:20:40,438
That's obviously
charlie.
505
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:41,974
Take the shot!
506
00:20:41,976 --> 00:20:47,980
♪♪
507
00:20:47,982 --> 00:20:50,115
-I've got this!
-No, I've got this.
508
00:20:50,117 --> 00:20:52,451
I'm her attendant!
509
00:20:54,254 --> 00:20:55,720
[ gasps ]
510
00:20:55,722 --> 00:20:58,057
[ grunting ]
511
00:21:04,198 --> 00:21:07,466
Charles!
My love!
512
00:21:07,468 --> 00:21:08,867
[ gasping ]
513
00:21:08,869 --> 00:21:11,069
I always have so much anxiety
with driving,
514
00:21:11,071 --> 00:21:13,605
But this is like driving
with mama.
515
00:21:13,607 --> 00:21:15,340
Aah!
516
00:21:15,342 --> 00:21:18,010
I can't believe I'm going to
have to wait another
517
00:21:18,012 --> 00:21:20,144
19 years to rebirth.
518
00:21:20,146 --> 00:21:22,947
Looks like someone
needs a piggyback.
519
00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,149
-Moment's passed, cade.
-Bye.
520
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:27,085
Gillian! Ohh!
521
00:21:27,087 --> 00:21:28,953
Where is she?
522
00:21:28,955 --> 00:21:31,824
A gift.
For your pretzel hands.
523
00:21:31,826 --> 00:21:33,157
So people won't stare.
524
00:21:33,159 --> 00:21:34,426
Stay with me.
525
00:21:34,428 --> 00:21:37,029
Think of what we could do
in 19 years.
526
00:21:37,031 --> 00:21:38,763
No.
I shan't.
527
00:21:38,765 --> 00:21:41,834
We've both sworn fealty
to a higher power.
528
00:21:41,836 --> 00:21:44,636
Plus, you'll be like 80?
529
00:21:44,638 --> 00:21:46,171
Gillian!
530
00:21:46,173 --> 00:21:48,040
It's life calling.
531
00:21:48,042 --> 00:21:51,576
I'll see you in 19 years.
532
00:21:51,578 --> 00:21:52,777
Yes.
533
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:54,312
Unless, like, I'm married,
534
00:21:54,314 --> 00:21:57,850
Then it probably
wouldn't be appropriate.
535
00:21:57,852 --> 00:21:59,317
Birdgirl: Gillian!
536
00:21:59,319 --> 00:22:01,586
I've got a hangover.
537
00:22:01,588 --> 00:22:04,289
[ rapping ] ♪ who is the girl
that saves the world? ♪
538
00:22:04,291 --> 00:22:06,024
Hey! Birdgirl!
539
00:22:06,026 --> 00:22:07,692
♪ wings of fire,
unique like pearls ♪
540
00:22:07,694 --> 00:22:09,161
Hey! Birdgirl!
541
00:22:09,163 --> 00:22:11,029
♪ who's the one
they can't defeat? ♪
542
00:22:11,031 --> 00:22:12,631
Hey! Birdgirl!
543
00:22:12,633 --> 00:22:14,166
♪ ultra fierce,
and it's all you need ♪
544
00:22:14,168 --> 00:22:17,502
Hey! Birdgirl!
545
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:19,504
Hey!
[ imitating fanfare ]
546
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,106
Birdgirl!
547
00:22:22,242 --> 00:22:25,444
Made in georgia.