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Announcer:
Come on down to Li'l Judy's.
2
00:00:08,573 --> 00:00:10,575
Young Woman: Order up!
Chick chunks!
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00:00:10,619 --> 00:00:13,013
Raw, juicy,
and ready for the greaser!
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Li'l Judy: [ Laughing]
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You buy it, you fry it!
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Boy: C-C-Crispy!
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Breakfast all day long,
even after the bars close.
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So many memories.
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00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,070
You know, I wasn't just
the mascot.
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00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:30,073
After school, I'd hitch a ride
over there and play for hours.
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Sometimes I'd even
pull a shift,
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flipping burgers,
rousting hobos.
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And cue
nostalgia spiral.
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[ Sighs ] Remember when
you could roust a hobo?
15
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It wa-- It was never
okay to do that.
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Shame we shut 'em all down
long ago.
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We didn't.
That's why I called you here.
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- Oh, boy.
- In the past week,
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12 Li'l J franchises
have been vandalized.
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Oh, my God.
It's beyond repair.
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Uh, this one was actually
remodeled recently.
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Here we go.
Our South Assburg store.
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A masked delinquent has been
defacing Li'l Judy's face
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00:01:02,279 --> 00:01:05,369
and leaving this tag,
"KK."
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We think that stands for
Kaptain Khaos.
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Problem isn't
the vandalism.
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It's the spelling.
'Cause K for C is a '90s trope.
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It's the news coverage.
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It's drawing unwanted attention
to the fact that Li'l Judy's
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are more rundown than
a shitter on shitty Tuesday.
31
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I was thinking this might be
a job for your friend.
32
00:01:24,867 --> 00:01:26,956
Oh, Mackenzie
from pilates.
33
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:27,957
No.
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Ah, right --
Birdgirl.
35
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Let me Mackenzie know anyway.
We may need backup.
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♪ Hey!
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[ Rapping ] ♪ Who's the girl
that saves the world? ♪
38
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♪ Hey!
39
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[ Rapping ] ♪ Oh, my God,
oh, my God, oh, my God ♪
40
00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:40,926
[ Imitating fanfare ] Birdgirl!
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♪
42
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Oh! A Wanky Jr. Fun.
43
00:01:46,889 --> 00:01:49,805
I got the official
mini leadership stick.
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You wanna trade?
45
00:01:51,198 --> 00:01:53,678
Over your dead
10-year-old body.
46
00:01:53,722 --> 00:01:56,507
He's hit every Li'l Judy's
within a 12-mile radius
47
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except this one.
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Any action?
Over.
49
00:01:59,467 --> 00:02:00,424
Nothing here.
50
00:02:00,468 --> 00:02:01,512
Unit 3.
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00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,123
I assume I'm unit 3?
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No, Paul,
you're unit 5.
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Nobody had the courtesy
to tell --
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Donner, Prancer, Vixen --
go!
55
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Aah!
[ Bell clatters ]
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00:02:11,566 --> 00:02:13,089
[ Grunts ]
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What kind of monster
defaces an American institution
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where our children come
to get their fry on?
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♪ Oh
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Whoa.
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♪ Oh, yeah
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Whoa!
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I'm Kaptain Khaos --
with K's.
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The most virile of
velar plosives.
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Uh, what's that mean?
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00:02:36,199 --> 00:02:38,158
I don't know.
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00:02:38,201 --> 00:02:40,682
Which is why
you'll remember it.
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♪ Not mommy's little girl
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♪ Oh
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♪ Oh, yeah
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♪ Mommy's little girl
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[ Sighs ]
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♪ Va, va-da-va-voom
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[ Wolf-whistles ]
75
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Mm.
I'll deal with that later.
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00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:07,665
[ Imitates fanfare ]
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We're live in East Assburg,
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where the masked delinquent
has struck
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yet another Li'l Judy's.
80
00:03:12,975 --> 00:03:15,195
How would you describe
the assailant?
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00:03:15,238 --> 00:03:17,197
Uh, there was quite a bit
of grease smoke,
82
00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:18,546
but if I had to
put a name to it,
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00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:20,200
he was half Zorro,
84
00:03:20,243 --> 00:03:22,680
half that slurring
Disney pirate, and, uh --
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00:03:22,724 --> 00:03:24,856
100% hunk.
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00:03:24,900 --> 00:03:26,075
Mackenzie.
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We do a pilates class together.
88
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Is it true you sketched an image
of the perpetrator
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who calls himself
Kaptain Khaos?
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I dabble.
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00:03:36,433 --> 00:03:38,740
I have a message for you,
Kaptain Khaos.
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When I catch you, oh,
the things I will do to you.
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00:03:42,309 --> 00:03:46,226
And I am prepared -- nay,
lying fully prone in wait --
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for whatever you may
have planned for me.
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Ohh.
96
00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:52,449
And back to you, Sandra.
97
00:03:52,493 --> 00:03:55,539
I pulled a print.
Size 12, Pronater.
98
00:03:55,583 --> 00:03:57,106
Probably ran
cross-country.
99
00:03:57,149 --> 00:03:58,586
Luckily,
I got a littermate
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works security at 23 and Me,
owes me one.
101
00:04:01,937 --> 00:04:04,287
We should have results
in three to six months.
102
00:04:04,331 --> 00:04:07,116
This job's all about
relationships, kids.
103
00:04:07,159 --> 00:04:09,727
Or I just rant the footage
through FaceMatch
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and found all his socials
and his WikiFeet page.
105
00:04:13,949 --> 00:04:15,907
There's one for men now?
Huh.
106
00:04:15,951 --> 00:04:17,605
Ew! They're all barefoot.
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Enhance.
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00:04:18,823 --> 00:04:20,390
This isn't
voice-activated.
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I know. Enhance.
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"Kaptain Khaos fancies himself
as an anti-corporate vigilante.
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His goal is to take down
capitalist America
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and to
'kill the rich.'"
113
00:04:32,315 --> 00:04:34,143
Ooh, that must
harsh your buzz a bit.
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Dook one for the people!
115
00:04:35,797 --> 00:04:38,147
Ugh! what's the opposite
of "enhance"?
116
00:04:38,190 --> 00:04:40,105
Take that, Li'l Shitty.
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Just another "brocialist."
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Only know what they're against,
no clue what they're for.
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Give it a week,
and he'll jump to
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the next trendy cause,
like canine intactiveism.
121
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Oh. [ Clears throat ]
Sorry.
122
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I don't know, guys.
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Something about him
feels true.
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[ Sighs ] Watch out.
125
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:57,166
"True" is
Birdgirl's kink.
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And, apparently,
dirty feet?
127
00:04:58,994 --> 00:05:00,604
It's not like that.
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00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,345
Sure, he's not
a great speller,
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00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,826
and he's rough around the edges
and clearly all man.
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00:05:04,869 --> 00:05:08,003
But you don't don a mask and
commit third-degree vandalism
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00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:10,484
unless you've got
something loud to say.
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I mean, he is all-in.
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[ Cup breaks ]
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We've gotta stop him
from trending.
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00:05:17,578 --> 00:05:19,797
He trends,
Li'l Judy's trends.
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00:05:19,841 --> 00:05:22,322
Li'l Judy's trends, people
realize they're still open.
137
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Let's neutralize the kook.
138
00:05:24,236 --> 00:05:26,369
When you say
"neutralize"...
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00:05:26,413 --> 00:05:28,893
There's some things
it's better you not know.
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Like queening.
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00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:32,549
He's got that
"it" factor.
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00:05:32,593 --> 00:05:34,203
Like a young Chevy Chase.
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00:05:34,246 --> 00:05:36,248
We have to
engage with him.
144
00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:39,382
Connect -- inches from his face
and body.
145
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That's not
a touchscreen.
146
00:05:41,123 --> 00:05:42,690
How do we get to him?
147
00:05:42,733 --> 00:05:44,996
He always codes in
geocoordinates for his next hit
148
00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,824
on his page
for his followers.
149
00:05:46,868 --> 00:05:50,001
Looks like he'll be downtown tonight.
150
00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:52,482
And our friend
will be waiting.
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00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:54,354
And this time,
she'll nail him.
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00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:56,834
Mackenzie?
Yeah, she'll totally nail him.
153
00:05:56,878 --> 00:05:58,488
Calm down.[ Camera shutter clicking ]
154
00:05:58,532 --> 00:06:01,361
Mm. [ Chuckles]
155
00:06:01,404 --> 00:06:04,668
You sure sending Birdgirl after
that clod is a good idea?
156
00:06:04,712 --> 00:06:06,104
He's so her type.
157
00:06:06,148 --> 00:06:08,019
Ew! Gross!
158
00:06:08,063 --> 00:06:09,891
Birdgirl might be into
that cootie bag,
159
00:06:09,934 --> 00:06:11,371
but Judy isn't.
160
00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:14,025
Judy isn't into anyone.
We've established that.
161
00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:18,029
But Birdgirl, however,
is seemingly into everyone.
162
00:06:18,073 --> 00:06:20,205
Let's see. There was the
masked guy with the metal suit.
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00:06:20,249 --> 00:06:22,120
Or the other guy with
the other metal suit.
164
00:06:22,164 --> 00:06:24,862
Then the other masked guy, then
the masked guy from Chicago.
165
00:06:24,906 --> 00:06:27,691
He ate deepdish?
That he did.
166
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,040
And every one of them,
167
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Birdgirl was duty-bound
to bring down.
168
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[ Sighs ] Literally.
169
00:06:32,914 --> 00:06:35,307
Okay, okay.
So Birdgirl has a bad picker.
170
00:06:35,351 --> 00:06:37,048
But don't forget --
Birdgirl works for me,
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00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,223
not the other way around.
172
00:06:38,267 --> 00:06:40,051
Judy's der bosserschnitzel,
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00:06:40,095 --> 00:06:43,141
and she'll command Birdgirl
to keep it in her suit.
174
00:06:43,185 --> 00:06:45,100
R-i-i-i-ight.
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00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,797
You know who would never
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00:06:46,841 --> 00:06:48,799
condescend to Birdgirl
like that?
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00:06:48,843 --> 00:06:49,974
Both: Mackenzie.
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00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:51,323
♪ Va-va-voom
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00:06:51,367 --> 00:06:52,934
[ Wolf-whistles ]
180
00:06:52,977 --> 00:06:55,806
Uh, hello?
181
00:06:57,329 --> 00:06:58,766
[ Zipper opens, urinating ]
182
00:06:58,809 --> 00:07:01,072
Devil Judy:
Va-va-va-voom.
183
00:07:01,116 --> 00:07:02,422
Judy?
184
00:07:02,465 --> 00:07:04,554
Va-va-va-voom!
185
00:07:04,598 --> 00:07:06,251
Aaah!
186
00:07:06,295 --> 00:07:09,559
Aah! Aah!
187
00:07:09,603 --> 00:07:11,866
[ Muffled screams ]
188
00:07:14,172 --> 00:07:15,565
Judy, no!
189
00:07:15,609 --> 00:07:17,567
Bad!
190
00:07:17,611 --> 00:07:22,920
[ Toilet flushes ][ Gurgling ] Va-va-va-voom!
191
00:07:22,964 --> 00:07:26,097
It's an abomination to man.
And I hope you never see it.
192
00:07:26,141 --> 00:07:27,359
Oh, I've seen it.
193
00:07:27,403 --> 00:07:28,752
That's Devil Judy,
194
00:07:28,796 --> 00:07:30,841
the manifestation of
her abandoned libido.
195
00:07:30,885 --> 00:07:33,017
It pops out anytime
Birdgirl gets a crush.
196
00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:35,498
There's not enough room in there
for both Devil Judy
197
00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:39,110
and Judy's ability to
deny herself pleasure, so...
198
00:07:39,154 --> 00:07:41,156
The way it was looking at me
and -- and licking
199
00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:43,463
its thin little lips.
[ Shudders ]
200
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,116
It becomes obsessed with
the first dick it sees,
201
00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,770
and I really do mean dick.
202
00:07:46,814 --> 00:07:48,380
And the only way to get it to
stop tormenting you
203
00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:49,469
is to kill it.
204
00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:51,166
But you flushed it, right?
205
00:07:51,209 --> 00:07:52,297
Problem solved.
206
00:07:52,341 --> 00:07:53,516
Hold me.
207
00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:54,604
I'm pretty shaken up.
208
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:56,040
By Judy's libido?
209
00:07:56,084 --> 00:07:57,825
Oh, you're so weak.
210
00:07:57,868 --> 00:08:00,044
Oh, my God!
It's right behind you!
211
00:08:00,088 --> 00:08:02,960
[ Laughs ]
212
00:08:03,004 --> 00:08:04,222
♪
213
00:08:04,266 --> 00:08:06,529
♪ Oh
214
00:08:06,573 --> 00:08:08,618
♪ Oh, yeah
215
00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:11,708
♪
216
00:08:11,752 --> 00:08:16,713
♪ Sugar and spice
and everything nice ♪
217
00:08:16,757 --> 00:08:20,543
♪ Are the kind of things
a girl like me doesn't like ♪
218
00:08:20,587 --> 00:08:24,895
How is this helping the mission,
exactly?
219
00:08:24,939 --> 00:08:26,506
[ Sighs ]
Ask me when you're 12.
220
00:08:26,549 --> 00:08:28,203
I know what
you're all thinking,
221
00:08:28,246 --> 00:08:31,249
and I would never
sleep with a target.
222
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:33,164
I forswore
humanly temptations
223
00:08:33,208 --> 00:08:35,166
when I took the sacred
superhero oath.
224
00:08:35,210 --> 00:08:36,820
That is absolutely
not a thing.
225
00:08:36,864 --> 00:08:38,909
You're right.
It's not.
226
00:08:38,953 --> 00:08:40,432
A-boom.
227
00:08:40,476 --> 00:08:42,260
Grow up, Birdteam.
228
00:08:42,304 --> 00:08:45,525
Sex is a weapon, even when
you're not having it.
229
00:08:45,568 --> 00:08:46,700
Which I won't.
230
00:08:46,743 --> 00:08:48,092
Just be careful.
231
00:08:48,136 --> 00:08:49,572
Birdgirl can be
a little rash.
232
00:08:49,616 --> 00:08:51,661
Just ask yourself, "WWJD?"
233
00:08:51,705 --> 00:08:53,358
Jesus?
Judy.
234
00:08:53,402 --> 00:08:55,447
Ugh.
Birdteam -- go!
235
00:08:55,491 --> 00:08:57,014
[ Imitates fanfare ]
236
00:08:57,058 --> 00:09:00,104
♪
237
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:01,453
Where am I going?
238
00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:03,020
What's my next move?
Feed me.
239
00:09:03,064 --> 00:09:04,935
You're gonna turn right.
He's taking the tunnel.
240
00:09:04,979 --> 00:09:06,850
Oh, my God.
Seriously?
241
00:09:06,894 --> 00:09:09,374
Tunnels are both dangerous
and sexy.
242
00:09:09,418 --> 00:09:12,377
♪ Think about the things we do,
the things we said ♪
243
00:09:12,421 --> 00:09:15,685
♪ So who's lying now?
244
00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:16,686
Ooh.
245
00:09:16,730 --> 00:09:20,081
♪ Who comes crying now?
246
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:21,691
I was hoping
I'd see you again.
247
00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:23,214
That makes one of us.
248
00:09:23,258 --> 00:09:25,565
Why don't we drop the game
of cat and mouse?
249
00:09:25,608 --> 00:09:27,392
Says the mouse.
250
00:09:27,436 --> 00:09:29,438
Or am I the cat?
251
00:09:29,481 --> 00:09:31,919
[ Sighs ]
This really is the worst Y.A.
252
00:09:31,962 --> 00:09:35,575
♪ But you'll be back again
253
00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:37,489
Oh!
Oh, I like it rough.
254
00:09:37,533 --> 00:09:39,579
Which is why I don't.
255
00:09:39,622 --> 00:09:40,884
♪
256
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:42,451
♪ Oh-oh, oh-oh
257
00:09:42,494 --> 00:09:43,713
♪ 'Cause you'll be begging --
258
00:09:43,757 --> 00:09:45,715
Aaah!
259
00:09:45,759 --> 00:09:47,151
[ Crashing ]
260
00:09:47,195 --> 00:09:49,240
Ohh![ Cat screeches ]
261
00:09:49,284 --> 00:09:52,896
Charlie:
Birdgirl, can you hear us?
262
00:09:52,940 --> 00:09:54,594
Oh, why, thank you.
263
00:09:54,637 --> 00:09:55,769
[ Grunts ]
264
00:09:55,812 --> 00:09:56,770
Upsy-daisy.
265
00:09:56,813 --> 00:09:59,250
Is that your doggy?
Aww.
266
00:09:59,294 --> 00:10:01,775
No, that dog
is his own owner.
267
00:10:01,818 --> 00:10:03,515
I don't own things.
268
00:10:03,559 --> 00:10:05,082
O-kay.
269
00:10:05,126 --> 00:10:06,301
Is that your hibachi?
270
00:10:06,344 --> 00:10:09,260
That hibachi is free to go
at any time.
271
00:10:09,304 --> 00:10:10,261
Charcuterie?
272
00:10:10,305 --> 00:10:12,307
Charcuter-please.
273
00:10:12,350 --> 00:10:14,788
[ Explosion ]
274
00:10:16,485 --> 00:10:18,922
Wanna see
some real chaos?
275
00:10:18,966 --> 00:10:21,664
Kaptain Khaos:
Only if it's with a K.
276
00:10:21,708 --> 00:10:22,926
Birdgirl: Ooh!
277
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:24,319
Oh!
278
00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:25,755
How do you spell
"Is it in"?
279
00:10:25,799 --> 00:10:27,017
Oh, never mind --
that's three words.
280
00:10:27,061 --> 00:10:28,323
[ Moaning]
281
00:10:28,366 --> 00:10:30,020
♪
282
00:10:30,064 --> 00:10:32,849
Devil Judy:
Va-va-va-voom.
283
00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:34,503
It's dead.
284
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:36,331
You flushed it.
285
00:10:36,374 --> 00:10:38,550
Va-va-va-voom.
286
00:10:38,594 --> 00:10:39,943
Oh!
287
00:10:39,987 --> 00:10:42,032
Oh! Oh! Oh!
288
00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:44,295
[ Sighs ]
289
00:10:44,339 --> 00:10:45,993
[ Radio plays ]
290
00:10:46,036 --> 00:10:47,821
[ Music slows ]
291
00:10:47,864 --> 00:10:49,170
♪ Va-va-va-voom
292
00:10:49,213 --> 00:10:52,173
Oh!
Aah!
293
00:10:52,216 --> 00:10:54,175
♪
294
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:57,352
[ Tires screeching ]
295
00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:01,356
It could be the wine talking,
could be the gouda,
296
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:03,053
but whatever it is,
it's fate.
297
00:11:03,097 --> 00:11:07,797
It's not fate. You, me, him, her
are all part of my grand plan.
298
00:11:07,841 --> 00:11:09,320
I've been watching you, Birdgirl.
299
00:11:09,364 --> 00:11:11,192
When I saw you working to
destroy the company
300
00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:13,803
from the inside, I knew
we'd make the perfect team.
301
00:11:13,847 --> 00:11:15,326
Get away.
302
00:11:15,370 --> 00:11:18,329
If you really wanna make
a difference in this world,
303
00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:20,375
you have to cut the beast off
at the foot.
304
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:22,507
Enhance.
You and me, Birdgirl,
305
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,596
taking down the worst offender
of them all --
306
00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:27,817
capitalism's handmaiden --
Judy Ken Sebben.
307
00:11:27,861 --> 00:11:29,384
Her?
Really?
308
00:11:29,427 --> 00:11:32,909
I mean...yeah, she has
horrible taste in pillows,
309
00:11:32,953 --> 00:11:34,345
she doesn't shave
above the knee,
310
00:11:34,389 --> 00:11:37,435
but is she really
the worst offender?
311
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:40,700
Huh. You seem to really know
a lot about her.
312
00:11:40,743 --> 00:11:41,744
Oh.
[ Chuckles nervously ]
313
00:11:41,788 --> 00:11:43,267
The devil, when she comes,
314
00:11:43,311 --> 00:11:44,747
won't shave
above the knee.
315
00:11:44,791 --> 00:11:47,010
Ugh. That was taken
out of context.
316
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,533
Ugh.
Just look at her.
317
00:11:48,577 --> 00:11:51,058
But she's trying to
change the company.
318
00:11:51,101 --> 00:11:52,363
Can I trust you?
319
00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:54,191
'Cause I've procured
a high-level job
320
00:11:54,235 --> 00:11:56,106
at Sebben & Sebben
under my alter-ego,
321
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:57,238
corporate slave Ed Todd.
322
00:11:57,281 --> 00:11:59,066
When the time is right...
323
00:11:59,109 --> 00:12:00,415
Aah![ Boing!,
cash register bell dings]
324
00:12:00,458 --> 00:12:03,026
Ugh!
Same guy who, uh,
runs my social.
325
00:12:03,070 --> 00:12:04,767
Don't move.[ Camera shutter clicks ]
326
00:12:04,811 --> 00:12:07,378
I just can't
take a bad picture.
327
00:12:07,422 --> 00:12:09,032
No, really.
328
00:12:09,076 --> 00:12:11,252
Scientists are mystified.
329
00:12:15,909 --> 00:12:18,563
- Aah!
- So, this is what the flight of shame looks like.
330
00:12:18,607 --> 00:12:20,957
I assume you paired it with
a trip to Denny's.
331
00:12:21,001 --> 00:12:23,873
- Aah!
- So, how'd the mission go?
332
00:12:23,917 --> 00:12:24,961
We heard everything.
333
00:12:25,005 --> 00:12:26,876
[ Claps ]
Everything.
334
00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:30,314
Uh... And it turns out you do know
what queening means.
335
00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:32,969
You let Birdgirl's carpet
run Judy's drapes.
336
00:12:33,013 --> 00:12:34,928
And now
he's in the building.
337
00:12:34,971 --> 00:12:36,233
We gotta eliminate him.
338
00:12:36,277 --> 00:12:37,408
You're right.
339
00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:38,888
I destroyed
Judy's apartment,
340
00:12:38,932 --> 00:12:41,282
carpet, drapes,
and crown molding.
341
00:12:41,325 --> 00:12:43,284
- Crown molding?
- Bazooms.
342
00:12:43,327 --> 00:12:45,286
Birdgirl got us
into this mess,
343
00:12:45,329 --> 00:12:47,592
so now Judy's gotta
get us out of it.
344
00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:49,464
Her way.
345
00:12:51,031 --> 00:12:52,597
Hey, Denise!
346
00:12:52,641 --> 00:12:55,165
Jessica,
eczema's looking sharp.
347
00:12:55,209 --> 00:12:57,080
Hugh, tell Cheryl
happy birthday.
348
00:12:57,124 --> 00:12:58,952
The big 5-0!
349
00:12:58,995 --> 00:13:01,606
Cheryl's 8.
350
00:13:01,650 --> 00:13:03,652
Judy, I'd like you to meet
my new executive intern.
351
00:13:03,695 --> 00:13:05,306
Not now, Paul.
I'm looking for --
352
00:13:05,349 --> 00:13:06,960
[ Gasps ]
No, no, no, no, no.
353
00:13:07,003 --> 00:13:09,266
Oh. Hi, there.
I'm Ed Todd.
354
00:13:09,310 --> 00:13:10,790
What happened to you?
355
00:13:10,833 --> 00:13:11,791
I'm sorry?
356
00:13:11,834 --> 00:13:13,096
Do not blow this for me.
357
00:13:13,140 --> 00:13:15,490
He is a genius at
stacking those cards.
358
00:13:15,533 --> 00:13:17,797
Nice to meet you
for the first time ever.
359
00:13:17,840 --> 00:13:19,102
How about a tour?
360
00:13:19,146 --> 00:13:20,451
I always give new hires
some one-on-one.
361
00:13:20,495 --> 00:13:21,670
It's just who we are.
362
00:13:21,713 --> 00:13:23,454
As the CEO,
we put the people first.
363
00:13:23,498 --> 00:13:24,847
We! Me!
364
00:13:24,891 --> 00:13:27,110
I'm gonna need him back
for inventory!
365
00:13:27,154 --> 00:13:29,199
God,
that man has a great ass.
366
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:31,680
Two halves of
the same hairy peach.
367
00:13:31,723 --> 00:13:32,942
Since I took the reins,
368
00:13:32,986 --> 00:13:34,944
I've really revolutionized
the company.
369
00:13:34,988 --> 00:13:37,860
We put out not one but two
products for mental health
370
00:13:37,904 --> 00:13:39,731
that backfired miserably,
371
00:13:39,775 --> 00:13:42,299
and I redesigned
the Popple can
372
00:13:42,343 --> 00:13:44,301
for the differently handed.
373
00:13:44,345 --> 00:13:46,869
Pissed a lot of
big-hand types off.
374
00:13:46,913 --> 00:13:50,742
Ahh, the price of being a
capitalist activist do-goodnik.
375
00:13:50,786 --> 00:13:52,309
Hi, boss.
376
00:13:52,353 --> 00:13:53,658
We just wanted
to thank you
377
00:13:53,702 --> 00:13:55,486
for letting us work here
another year.
378
00:13:55,530 --> 00:13:58,533
You're the best boss,
and we know you really care.
379
00:14:00,361 --> 00:14:02,493
- Was that...a child?
- It was.
380
00:14:02,537 --> 00:14:04,234
As you can see,
381
00:14:04,278 --> 00:14:06,410
we are leading the way on
sustainable corporate culture.
382
00:14:06,454 --> 00:14:08,195
We made the executive decision
to switch
383
00:14:08,238 --> 00:14:11,851
from single-use cups
to not...
384
00:14:11,894 --> 00:14:13,765
single-use.
385
00:14:13,809 --> 00:14:16,594
Um...what's in there?
386
00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:18,161
Nothing exciting.
387
00:14:18,205 --> 00:14:19,684
Hey!
It's nearly 10:00 am.
388
00:14:19,728 --> 00:14:20,990
Hibachi for lunch?
389
00:14:21,034 --> 00:14:22,905
Is it okay if I use
my own utensils?
390
00:14:22,949 --> 00:14:23,993
I know they're clean.
391
00:14:24,037 --> 00:14:26,996
Irasshaimase.
392
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,911
How many other corporations offer
393
00:14:28,955 --> 00:14:30,782
on-campus cuisines
of the world?
394
00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:33,873
One reason Sebben & Sebben
is number 3,428
395
00:14:33,916 --> 00:14:35,526
on the list of
best places to work.
396
00:14:35,570 --> 00:14:37,267
- Get away.
- Okay.
397
00:14:37,311 --> 00:14:38,747
Oh.
398
00:14:38,790 --> 00:14:41,228
You've hardly touched
your onion volcano.
399
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,882
Not enough steam?
400
00:14:42,925 --> 00:14:45,188
Did you read the piece in EcoWar
about factory fishing?
401
00:14:45,232 --> 00:14:47,582
What happened to you?
402
00:14:47,625 --> 00:14:49,758
Uh, I thought
you loved hibachi?
403
00:14:49,801 --> 00:14:52,021
Why would you...
think that?
404
00:14:52,065 --> 00:14:53,370
Itadakimasu.
405
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,546
I think it was mentioned
on your --
406
00:14:55,590 --> 00:14:59,115
mention of yourself
t-o-o-o me.
407
00:14:59,159 --> 00:15:03,903
♪
408
00:15:03,946 --> 00:15:05,121
Mmm.
409
00:15:05,165 --> 00:15:07,645
We eat
the floor shrimp.
410
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,778
We are
zero waste here.
411
00:15:09,821 --> 00:15:11,649
- Get away.
- Okay.
412
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:13,477
Arigatougozaimasu.
413
00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,568
How do you
stand this guy?!
414
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:20,397
He's so judgy
and self-righteous.
415
00:15:20,441 --> 00:15:22,312
You're trying
way too hard.
416
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,444
It's embarrassing.
417
00:15:23,487 --> 00:15:25,228
Why can't you
just be cool?
418
00:15:25,272 --> 00:15:27,143
Your boyfriend
wants us dead.
419
00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:28,579
He wants you dead.
420
00:15:28,623 --> 00:15:30,625
He's pretty happy where we are
as a couple.
421
00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:32,583
He told me so.
After sex.
422
00:15:32,627 --> 00:15:34,977
I am you,
and you are me!
423
00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:37,066
Judy,
I'm starting to think
424
00:15:37,110 --> 00:15:38,938
that the only thing
we have in common
425
00:15:38,981 --> 00:15:40,591
is that we're
the same person.
426
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:43,943
You got us into this mess
with your own untamable libido.
427
00:15:43,986 --> 00:15:46,946
I won't apologize
for my carnality.
428
00:15:46,989 --> 00:15:48,599
Maybe he's right.
429
00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:51,254
Maybe the only way to change
the system is to destroy it.
430
00:15:51,298 --> 00:15:52,603
That's it!
431
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:55,128
O-w-w-w.
432
00:15:57,478 --> 00:15:58,827
You, come with me.
433
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,611
Don't you dare
make me call
434
00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:03,092
my nonexistent
H.R. department!
435
00:16:03,136 --> 00:16:04,615
You think Sebben & Sebben
is evil
436
00:16:04,659 --> 00:16:06,008
and I'm a blight
on humanity?
437
00:16:06,052 --> 00:16:08,358
Well, bub, you don't know
the half of it.
438
00:16:08,402 --> 00:16:10,012
You want to know
what's behind that door?
439
00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,972
All the horrific things
this company has done.
440
00:16:13,015 --> 00:16:16,105
Before my tenure and...during.
441
00:16:16,149 --> 00:16:18,803
The mother lode.
Why are you showing me this?
442
00:16:18,847 --> 00:16:20,675
How do you think I felt
when I inherited this?
443
00:16:20,718 --> 00:16:21,981
Pretty gutted.
444
00:16:22,024 --> 00:16:23,634
But then,
I realized something.
445
00:16:23,678 --> 00:16:25,375
I could give up
and give in
446
00:16:25,419 --> 00:16:28,988
and just say the company sucks,
so let's burn it all down,
447
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:32,382
or I could work to clean up
the mess we've made,
448
00:16:32,426 --> 00:16:34,994
ever day,
a little bit at a time.
449
00:16:35,037 --> 00:16:36,734
It's easy to judge
from the outside,
450
00:16:36,778 --> 00:16:41,000
so I'm showing you
our insides.
451
00:16:41,043 --> 00:16:45,134
Your sanitizer,
it's coming loose.
452
00:16:45,178 --> 00:16:46,570
Let it fall.
453
00:16:46,614 --> 00:16:48,137
[ Sanitizer bottle clatters ]
454
00:16:48,181 --> 00:16:50,009
I wasn't exactly
planning on this,
455
00:16:50,052 --> 00:16:52,011
which may serve
as an explanation
456
00:16:52,054 --> 00:16:56,537
for my somewhat retro
grooming situation down there.
457
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:59,105
Don't transcribe that.
458
00:17:01,063 --> 00:17:03,500
Come and get me,
hell girl.
459
00:17:03,544 --> 00:17:04,675
I dare you.
460
00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:07,200
Devil Judy:
Va-va-va-voom.
461
00:17:07,243 --> 00:17:10,507
[ Doorbell rings ]
462
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:13,336
Va-va-va-voom.
463
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:19,342
♪
464
00:17:19,386 --> 00:17:22,432
Dear God,
the grotesquerie.
465
00:17:22,476 --> 00:17:25,348
Good God, it's been six minutes
and it's still not in.
466
00:17:25,392 --> 00:17:26,567
Oh, they're done.
467
00:17:26,610 --> 00:17:27,872
Does anybody
have eyes on him?
468
00:17:27,916 --> 00:17:29,222
He's still upstairs.
469
00:17:29,265 --> 00:17:31,528
I put a tracker
in his hand sanitizer.
470
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:34,401
The other half
of the hairy peach.
471
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:36,272
Captured --
with a K.
472
00:17:36,316 --> 00:17:38,622
Oh, God!
473
00:17:38,666 --> 00:17:41,712
You don't own me,
you tiny pervert!
474
00:17:41,756 --> 00:17:43,801
Unh! Unh!
475
00:17:43,845 --> 00:17:46,108
No, no, no!
476
00:17:46,152 --> 00:17:47,544
[ Screams ]
477
00:17:47,588 --> 00:17:49,590
[ Police radio chatter ]
478
00:17:52,114 --> 00:17:53,550
It's over.
479
00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:54,986
[ Cellphone chimes ]
480
00:17:58,164 --> 00:18:01,080
I guess it's a cheat day
for ol' B-O-B.
481
00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:03,560
Excuse me, sir.
482
00:18:03,604 --> 00:18:05,127
Aren't you gonna
file a report?
483
00:18:05,171 --> 00:18:08,304
No.
I no longer file reports.
484
00:18:08,348 --> 00:18:10,089
I'm moving on
with my life.
485
00:18:10,132 --> 00:18:12,221
Va-va-va-voom.
486
00:18:12,265 --> 00:18:14,441
[ Sign buzzing ]
487
00:18:14,484 --> 00:18:17,096
Been dying to see you
all day.
488
00:18:17,139 --> 00:18:19,228
I was wrong about
Judy Ken Sebben.
489
00:18:19,272 --> 00:18:21,752
See?
I told you she's trying.
490
00:18:21,796 --> 00:18:24,799
No. Actually, it's worse than we
could've possibly even imagined.
491
00:18:24,842 --> 00:18:27,106
She's nothing.
A powerless figurehead.
492
00:18:27,149 --> 00:18:28,672
Spends her days
touring interns around
493
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:30,239
while her team does
all the work.
494
00:18:30,283 --> 00:18:33,155
These are the real masterminds
behind the operation.
495
00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:34,678
Oh, boy.
496
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:37,638
If we eradicate them,
it's just a matter of time
497
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,248
before Judy
drives Sebben & Sebben
498
00:18:39,292 --> 00:18:40,597
into the ground on her own
499
00:18:40,641 --> 00:18:43,818
while we stand by
and watch it burn.
500
00:18:45,646 --> 00:18:47,996
[ Muffled grunting ]
501
00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:50,172
What's wrong,
Birdgirl?
502
00:18:50,216 --> 00:18:51,695
[ Sniffs ]
Ahh.
503
00:18:51,739 --> 00:18:54,176
Judy, in the name of
all that doesn't reek
504
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,700
of sensitively cured meats,
stop him!
505
00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:58,659
If only you could
smell his musk,
506
00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,269
you would understand.
507
00:19:00,313 --> 00:19:01,792
Boy-oop!
508
00:19:01,836 --> 00:19:04,534
Okay, I guess
my reckless dating decisions
509
00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:06,884
have put my friends
in mortal danger.
510
00:19:06,928 --> 00:19:08,147
Multiple times.
511
00:19:08,190 --> 00:19:09,539
Oh, the deepdish guy.
512
00:19:09,583 --> 00:19:11,628
Thank you
for not making me say it.
513
00:19:11,672 --> 00:19:13,674
And today's the day
I grow up and say,
514
00:19:13,717 --> 00:19:17,199
"I choose my friendships
over my crazy-ass libido."
515
00:19:17,243 --> 00:19:20,289
How about 80% friends,
20% booty?
516
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:22,639
I'll do it!
We both will.
517
00:19:22,683 --> 00:19:25,338
The one thing that
makes us unstoppable is...
518
00:19:25,381 --> 00:19:27,905
Both:
...we are the same person.
519
00:19:27,949 --> 00:19:29,516
Hi, Judy.
520
00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:33,346
You knew?
When?
521
00:19:33,389 --> 00:19:35,391
I knew the whole time.
522
00:19:35,435 --> 00:19:38,699
Oh, and by the way,
you smell like shrimp.
523
00:19:38,742 --> 00:19:40,657
Damn floor shrimp.
524
00:19:40,701 --> 00:19:42,920
Fine.
525
00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:44,748
Maybe it's time to say
what we're all thinking.
526
00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:47,360
"Kaptain Khaos"
is a ridiculous name.
527
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:49,710
"Chaos"
is spelled with a C-H.
528
00:19:51,059 --> 00:19:53,583
And despite
what you may think,
529
00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:56,760
I'm damn proud of
what I've accomplished
530
00:19:56,804 --> 00:20:01,678
with these fine
bound and gagged people.
531
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:05,378
Paul: Will you shut up?
We're about to be flash-fried!
532
00:20:05,421 --> 00:20:08,207
This corporation
you love so much,
533
00:20:08,250 --> 00:20:10,034
do you know the damage
it causes?
534
00:20:10,078 --> 00:20:11,514
Can you show us
in a flashback?
535
00:20:11,558 --> 00:20:14,604
Do love a flashback.
Boy-oop!
536
00:20:14,648 --> 00:20:16,258
Kaptain Khaos:
It was my 8th birthday.
537
00:20:16,302 --> 00:20:18,347
Welcome to Li'l Judy's!
538
00:20:18,391 --> 00:20:20,219
Before we welcome you
to Li'l Judy's,
539
00:20:20,262 --> 00:20:23,700
please sign this contract
for 16 monthly payments
540
00:20:23,744 --> 00:20:26,529
and these waivers indemnifying
Sebben & Sebben
541
00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:28,575
from any responsibility.
542
00:20:28,618 --> 00:20:29,793
Now have some fun!
543
00:20:29,837 --> 00:20:32,143
I deep-fried everything --
544
00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:35,408
nuggets, burgers,
the car keys.
545
00:20:35,451 --> 00:20:37,627
I must have
overloaded the system
546
00:20:37,671 --> 00:20:40,935
because the entire place
exploded into flames.
547
00:20:40,978 --> 00:20:43,154
And it killed my parents.
548
00:20:43,198 --> 00:20:46,070
It's all my fault!
549
00:20:46,114 --> 00:20:48,159
It's not your fault, Eddie.
550
00:20:48,203 --> 00:20:50,466
Li'l Judy?
Is it really you?
551
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:52,076
No, it's not.
552
00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:53,600
It's our fault,
553
00:20:53,643 --> 00:20:56,646
and it's time for us
to come clean.
554
00:20:56,690 --> 00:20:58,082
What are you doing?
555
00:20:58,126 --> 00:21:02,913
A very special quiet meal
for the birthday boy!
556
00:21:02,957 --> 00:21:04,915
She's not
admitting culpability!
557
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:06,265
He signed a waiver!
558
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:07,962
Plus, he had some fun!
559
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:10,269
Take it
and do good with it.
560
00:21:10,312 --> 00:21:13,446
And now
you give me the button.
561
00:21:13,489 --> 00:21:15,143
Are you insane?!
562
00:21:15,186 --> 00:21:17,841
You'll ruin us!
563
00:21:17,885 --> 00:21:19,365
[ Crashing ]
564
00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:26,154
[ Grunting ]
565
00:21:29,636 --> 00:21:31,551
She's gonna blow!
566
00:21:33,335 --> 00:21:34,597
Don't worry.
567
00:21:34,641 --> 00:21:35,946
I'll be okay.
568
00:21:35,990 --> 00:21:37,644
It's with a K.
569
00:21:37,687 --> 00:21:39,472
Sometimes other letters.
570
00:21:43,214 --> 00:21:46,130
Making that pirate clown
think you were giving him
571
00:21:46,174 --> 00:21:49,482
all our secrets, and then
turning the tables on him?
572
00:21:49,525 --> 00:21:51,048
Genius!
573
00:21:51,092 --> 00:21:54,356
All that incriminating evidence
up in smoke.
574
00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:55,792
[ Cellphone chimes ]
I had my doubts about you,
575
00:21:55,836 --> 00:21:58,317
but you're not afraid
to get bloody.
576
00:21:58,360 --> 00:22:00,231
- Judy: Enhance.
- You might turn out to be
577
00:22:00,275 --> 00:22:02,799
the best CEO
this company's ever had.
578
00:22:02,843 --> 00:22:06,063
Uh...not including Phil,
of course.
579
00:22:06,107 --> 00:22:07,630
[ Rapping ] ♪ Who is the girl
that saves the world? ♪
580
00:22:07,674 --> 00:22:09,458
Hey! Birdgirl!
581
00:22:09,502 --> 00:22:10,894
♪ Wings of fire,
unique like pearls ♪
582
00:22:10,938 --> 00:22:12,679
Hey! Birdgirl!
583
00:22:12,722 --> 00:22:14,463
♪ Who's the one
they can't defeat? ♪
584
00:22:14,507 --> 00:22:16,160
Hey! Birdgirl!
585
00:22:16,204 --> 00:22:17,684
♪ Ultra fierce,
and so unique ♪
586
00:22:17,727 --> 00:22:21,035
Hey! Birdgirl!
587
00:22:21,078 --> 00:22:22,558
Hey![ Imitating fanfare ]
588
00:22:22,906 --> 00:22:24,386
Birdgirl!