1
00:00:00,667 --> 00:00:01,866
Judy: We tried to warn you.
2
00:00:01,868 --> 00:00:03,468
Hints. Bigger hints.
3
00:00:03,470 --> 00:00:07,071
Company-wide e-mails that were
in fact directed only at you.
4
00:00:07,073 --> 00:00:09,074
We even paid for one of those
aggressively large blimps
5
00:00:09,076 --> 00:00:11,744
To fly over your house
for a week.
6
00:00:11,746 --> 00:00:15,814
But unfortunately,
it's come to this.
7
00:00:15,816 --> 00:00:18,050
You're...Fired.
8
00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:22,020
Fired?
You can't be serious!
9
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:24,356
I've given my nuts
to this company,
10
00:00:24,358 --> 00:00:25,557
Literally.
11
00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:26,825
It's a long story.
12
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:28,293
Does loyalty
count for nothing?
13
00:00:28,295 --> 00:00:30,629
For years, we had to show you
how to use the copier.
14
00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,564
Now we have to remind you
not to use it
15
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,032
Because we're
a green company.
16
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:36,168
You take forever
to complete a task,
17
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:40,038
Then need an assistant to
transcribe it from carbon paper.
18
00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,775
But mostly...
It's the ass grabbing.
19
00:00:42,777 --> 00:00:44,176
It's a new day at
sebben & sebben
20
00:00:44,178 --> 00:00:46,911
Where asses can be
lightly fantasized about
21
00:00:46,913 --> 00:00:48,847
But no longer grabbed.
22
00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:52,116
This is the hardest thing
I have ever had to do,
23
00:00:52,118 --> 00:00:55,888
But we both know it's time.
24
00:00:58,058 --> 00:01:01,126
[ melancholy music plays ]
25
00:01:01,128 --> 00:01:09,134
♪♪
26
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:17,075
♪♪
27
00:01:17,077 --> 00:01:25,083
♪♪
28
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:32,891
♪♪
29
00:01:32,893 --> 00:01:35,760
Judy: No! No, no, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no, no!
30
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:37,696
I take it back!
You're not fired!
31
00:01:37,698 --> 00:01:39,031
[ bell rings ]
32
00:01:39,033 --> 00:01:41,099
Well, you got all the way to
the townhouse,
33
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:43,101
So that's good.
Damn.
34
00:01:43,103 --> 00:01:44,703
Really thought
I had it this time.
35
00:01:44,705 --> 00:01:45,838
You can't pretend fire him.
36
00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,106
How are you gonna
real fire anyone else?
37
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,375
By pretending
I'm pretend firing them.
38
00:01:50,377 --> 00:01:51,576
[ gasps ]
39
00:01:51,578 --> 00:01:52,777
[ coughing ]
40
00:01:52,779 --> 00:01:54,246
[ grunts ]
41
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:55,714
Goddamn it, judy.
42
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:58,917
I was fine until
he microwaved the chili.
43
00:01:58,919 --> 00:02:01,653
That was just too sad.
44
00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,122
What?
I do that every night.
45
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,591
Go through
a lot of microwaves.
46
00:02:06,593 --> 00:02:08,126
♪ hey! ♪
47
00:02:08,128 --> 00:02:09,794
[ rapping ] ♪ who's the girl
that saves the world? ♪
48
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,129
♪ hey! ♪
49
00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,531
[ rapping ] ♪ oh, my god,
oh, my god, oh, my god ♪
50
00:02:12,533 --> 00:02:14,466
[ imitating fanfare ] birdgirl!
51
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,269
Ceos need to be able
to fire people.
52
00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:19,671
It was your father's favorite
part of the job.
53
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:22,941
But I don't see sebben & sebben
as a company.
54
00:02:22,943 --> 00:02:26,411
That's a good sign.
I see it as a steward.
55
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:29,814
We give thousands of
employees a reason
56
00:02:29,816 --> 00:02:31,283
To get up in the morning,
57
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:34,086
Or at least tire them out
so they don't have the energy
58
00:02:34,088 --> 00:02:36,621
To get swept up
in global conspiracy theories.
59
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:37,890
Wah, wah, bullshit.
60
00:02:37,892 --> 00:02:40,559
I'm serious.
You can't swing a cat
61
00:02:40,561 --> 00:02:43,228
Without hitting an employee
that needs to get shit-canned.
62
00:02:43,230 --> 00:02:45,898
We're not in preschool.
This isn't a play date.
63
00:02:45,900 --> 00:02:47,900
You and I aren't wearing
performance tights,
64
00:02:47,902 --> 00:02:49,367
Grabbing iced-blendeds,
65
00:02:49,369 --> 00:02:51,436
Flirting with the barista
with the nose hoop
66
00:02:51,438 --> 00:02:53,438
Then racing to pick up
our fourth grader.
67
00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,508
We need you to a real-life
fire someone.
68
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:57,776
Can you do it?
69
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,912
Sure...
Who?
70
00:02:59,914 --> 00:03:02,447
Someone who has spent most
of their billable hours
71
00:03:02,449 --> 00:03:04,716
Chinwagging
in the break room.
72
00:03:04,718 --> 00:03:07,051
I had no idea
it did that.
73
00:03:07,053 --> 00:03:08,520
You can't see both ways,
right?
74
00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,723
You got to fire her.
75
00:03:10,725 --> 00:03:14,192
Jessica from accounting.
76
00:03:14,194 --> 00:03:15,860
Yeah, I can't fire her.
77
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,129
Give me one good reason.
78
00:03:17,131 --> 00:03:20,732
Lots of reasons,
including but not limited to
79
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,200
She's the office
candy person.
80
00:03:22,202 --> 00:03:24,737
Her Thursday candy dish
is legendary.
81
00:03:24,739 --> 00:03:28,206
She never forgets a birthday.
She cares about birthdays.
82
00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,541
Did I mention
the candy thing?
83
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:32,144
It's the only reason some people
come out of their cubes.
84
00:03:32,146 --> 00:03:35,748
You are totally ball-less,
and I know where of I speak.
85
00:03:35,750 --> 00:03:37,149
Again, long story.
86
00:03:37,151 --> 00:03:39,884
Rip the band-aid-brand
adhesive off, judy.
87
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:41,486
Without jessica,
there wouldn't be
88
00:03:41,488 --> 00:03:43,488
Band-aids
in the first aid kit!
89
00:03:43,490 --> 00:03:44,356
That settles it.
90
00:03:44,358 --> 00:03:47,091
We got to get you
in the s.I.M.M.
91
00:03:47,093 --> 00:03:49,694
Hey, did you guys
see a curtain close?
92
00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,229
[ cat yowls ]
93
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:53,898
Your dad's
secret second office.
94
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:57,002
You could look for a thousand
years and never find it.
95
00:03:58,505 --> 00:04:01,573
Part inner sanctum,
part tickle dungeon.
96
00:04:01,575 --> 00:04:03,107
All man.
97
00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:05,778
He was never less at leisure
98
00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:08,713
Than when at leisure,
or less alone
99
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,315
Than went alone.
100
00:04:10,317 --> 00:04:12,851
The s.I.M.M. -- Your dad
built it in the '80s
101
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:16,254
So he had a place to work out
his ceo conundrums.
102
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:19,123
Every possible
corporate scenario program
103
00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:20,725
For bosses to practice on.
104
00:04:20,727 --> 00:04:24,262
This baby's going to
make you a killer ceo, judy.
105
00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,397
S.I.M.M.:
Welcome to the s.I.M.M.
106
00:04:25,399 --> 00:04:27,599
Juice up
and bag your sacks.
107
00:04:27,601 --> 00:04:28,867
It's ceo time.
108
00:04:28,869 --> 00:04:30,935
You know who got next
when phil played?
109
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:32,004
Nobody.
110
00:04:32,006 --> 00:04:34,072
Your dad [bleep] owned
this game.
111
00:04:34,074 --> 00:04:36,008
Continue your last game,
pks?
112
00:04:36,010 --> 00:04:38,210
Steno #3
was taking dictation.
113
00:04:38,212 --> 00:04:39,678
What's she doing?
114
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,013
Uh, a new game.
115
00:04:41,015 --> 00:04:43,615
No, this is the game
my father played.
116
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,150
I'm going to play it, too,
117
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:47,285
And I'm going to
beat his ass.
118
00:04:47,287 --> 00:04:50,689
I did not order a floating,
spinning moon lamp in teal.
119
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:54,893
I ordered a faux gelatin
fruit salad lamp in tangerine.
120
00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:58,096
Yes?
I got to go do some exec
training for a few hours.
121
00:04:58,098 --> 00:04:59,364
Mind taking over for me?
122
00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:01,366
[ laughs ]
wow. Really?
123
00:05:01,368 --> 00:05:03,101
"'mind taking' over for me?"
124
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:05,437
To a mind taker?
That's what you say?
125
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:07,840
Oh, my god, mere, I'm so sorry.
I didn't mean to --
126
00:05:07,842 --> 00:05:09,641
I'm shitting you!
127
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:12,511
But don't say it again also.
128
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,978
Okay then.
129
00:05:13,980 --> 00:05:15,514
Since I'll technically
be incapacitated,
130
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,716
I need to cede
proprietary rights to someone.
131
00:05:17,718 --> 00:05:21,053
You will be ceo pro temp.
Sign here, here, and here.
132
00:05:21,055 --> 00:05:23,455
Nope. Unh-unh.
Not that again.
133
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,590
Give bith to some
other sucker.
134
00:05:25,592 --> 00:05:26,458
Meeere.
135
00:05:26,460 --> 00:05:29,161
You're the only sucker
I trust.
136
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,196
[ engine starts ]
137
00:05:31,198 --> 00:05:33,198
[ engine revving ]
138
00:05:33,534 --> 00:05:35,400
S.I.M.M.:
Welcome to the s.I.M.M.
139
00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:37,469
Let's pick your avatar.
140
00:05:37,471 --> 00:05:39,872
Not a lot of ladies.
141
00:05:39,874 --> 00:05:41,740
When this rig was built,
the only thing
142
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,276
Women were good for was...
143
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:47,279
Uh, we'll --
we'll create a new one.
144
00:05:47,281 --> 00:05:50,416
Alright.
[ clears throat ]
145
00:05:50,885 --> 00:05:52,617
Alright.
146
00:05:52,619 --> 00:05:54,819
Okay.
147
00:05:54,821 --> 00:05:56,755
Brent?
The name brent...
148
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:59,157
[ siren wails ]
...Has been
formulated for success
149
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,759
By the simulator.
150
00:06:00,761 --> 00:06:02,227
And life.
151
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:04,897
[ elevator dings ]
152
00:06:04,899 --> 00:06:06,965
Speak into the mic.
Yeah.
153
00:06:06,967 --> 00:06:09,101
[ clears throat ]
everyone.
154
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:10,502
[ brent's voice ] excuse me.
155
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:13,638
I-I know you're busy,
but may I have a moment?
156
00:06:13,640 --> 00:06:14,973
I know you're busy.
157
00:06:14,975 --> 00:06:17,442
[ health bar chiming ]
158
00:06:17,444 --> 00:06:18,643
[ groans ]
159
00:06:18,645 --> 00:06:22,114
Let's try this to get you
into character.
160
00:06:22,116 --> 00:06:25,049
Attention,
ladies and...Perverts.
161
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:26,251
Ugh.
You're losing them.
162
00:06:26,253 --> 00:06:27,652
Just go with it.
Feel it.
163
00:06:27,654 --> 00:06:30,655
Whoo!
Somebody got laid last night.
164
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,324
Slap some ass!
165
00:06:32,326 --> 00:06:34,526
[ squeals ]
my god, the breasts,
166
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:36,060
The breasts!
167
00:06:36,062 --> 00:06:37,462
Talking to her, lance,
not you.
168
00:06:37,464 --> 00:06:39,063
[ normal voice ]
although yours ain't bad.
169
00:06:39,065 --> 00:06:40,799
Hi-yooo!
170
00:06:40,801 --> 00:06:44,803
[ brent's voice ]
you've got great tits, lance.
171
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:47,139
S.I.M.M.: Key to
the executive men's room.
172
00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:49,074
[ normal voice ]
1,000 points!
173
00:06:49,076 --> 00:06:51,543
And...Ethically ambiguous.
174
00:06:51,545 --> 00:06:54,813
Judy has handed me
the reins again.
175
00:06:54,815 --> 00:06:57,482
I don't want any flack, guff,
bullshit, or static from you.
176
00:06:57,484 --> 00:06:59,284
Open the door
and leave me be.
177
00:06:59,286 --> 00:07:01,153
It's my own
poisoned chalice.
178
00:07:01,155 --> 00:07:03,421
[ clears throat ]
I have no plans to question,
179
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,157
Impede, hamper, or obstruct
180
00:07:05,159 --> 00:07:08,226
Your constitutionally
mandated responsibilities.
181
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:10,428
Besides, I have to run
some errands for judy
182
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:13,265
Then take
my three-minute lunch.
[ door buzzes ]
183
00:07:18,372 --> 00:07:19,638
Ahh.
184
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,173
I've catalogued every item...
There you are!
185
00:07:21,175 --> 00:07:23,041
...In this office
and know the exact location,
186
00:07:23,043 --> 00:07:24,309
Condition, and scent.
187
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:26,845
If anything changes,
I shall know.
188
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:27,980
Sit anywhere you like.
189
00:07:27,982 --> 00:07:29,047
Not there.
190
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:30,582
Or there.
191
00:07:30,584 --> 00:07:31,650
Mnh-mnh.
192
00:07:31,652 --> 00:07:33,452
Nope.
193
00:07:33,454 --> 00:07:34,687
To the left.
194
00:07:40,995 --> 00:07:43,696
Alright.
195
00:07:44,799 --> 00:07:47,666
Bweeeoooo!
196
00:07:47,668 --> 00:07:51,236
Huh?
So you're not all powerful.
197
00:07:54,141 --> 00:07:56,442
You really shouldn't.
198
00:08:05,752 --> 00:08:06,951
You got a sec?
199
00:08:06,953 --> 00:08:09,287
Nah, kind of busy.
200
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,490
I knew it!
She did want to fire her!
201
00:08:11,492 --> 00:08:13,225
She just didn't have
the guts.
202
00:08:13,227 --> 00:08:15,627
Come on, you.
203
00:08:15,629 --> 00:08:17,162
Please.
204
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:19,231
[ engine revving ]
205
00:08:19,233 --> 00:08:20,833
[ shouting ]
she's actually in there?
206
00:08:20,835 --> 00:08:22,835
[ shouting ]
scenario 9!
207
00:08:22,837 --> 00:08:24,369
And she's not doing bad.
208
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:25,904
Judy: [ brent's voice ]
grab ass, slap ass.
209
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:27,506
Grab and slap ass.
[ women squealing ]
210
00:08:27,508 --> 00:08:29,774
[ normal voice ] sorry, barb.
It's all pretend.
211
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:31,910
What's scenario 9?
212
00:08:31,912 --> 00:08:33,712
Mergers and acquisitions.
[ slapping, women squealing ]
213
00:08:33,714 --> 00:08:35,247
[ brent's voice ]
grab and slap ass.
214
00:08:35,249 --> 00:08:37,449
Look, uh,
she's tied up in there,
215
00:08:37,451 --> 00:08:39,317
And we're adults,
you and me.
216
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,053
What say we,
meaning you,
217
00:08:41,055 --> 00:08:42,721
Take care of
the little pest ourselves?
218
00:08:42,723 --> 00:08:44,523
If it were up to me,
the candy dish alone
219
00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:46,525
Would be grounds
for termination.
220
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:49,728
But it seemed important
to judy.
221
00:08:49,730 --> 00:08:51,196
We should
check with her first.
222
00:08:51,198 --> 00:08:53,265
No! You must never
disturb someone
223
00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:54,332
While they're s.I.M.M.'ing.
224
00:08:54,334 --> 00:08:56,134
We barged in
on her dad once
225
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,536
And he pissed blood
for a week.
226
00:08:57,538 --> 00:08:59,938
Want to see pics?
[ sighs ] fine.
227
00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:00,873
I'll do it.
228
00:09:00,875 --> 00:09:02,274
But first I want to confirm
229
00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:04,342
That jessica really
doesn't do anything all day.
230
00:09:04,344 --> 00:09:06,278
How do we do that?
231
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:08,580
Right.
I'm security.
232
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:13,618
What are you going to do now,
jfrom?
233
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:18,823
♪♪
234
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:20,826
[ telephone ringing ]
235
00:09:24,030 --> 00:09:25,630
Everyone's candy sick!
236
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:28,701
[ grunting ]
what about your jobs?!
237
00:09:28,703 --> 00:09:29,834
[ grunts ]
238
00:09:29,836 --> 00:09:32,705
The candy bowl.
It's laughing at me.
239
00:09:32,707 --> 00:09:35,240
[ evil laughter ]
240
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:37,576
[ sobs ]
241
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,177
Oh.
242
00:09:39,179 --> 00:09:41,045
I'm so sorry.
243
00:09:41,047 --> 00:09:42,514
Judy: [ brent's voice ]
so get this, I'm in this little
244
00:09:42,516 --> 00:09:44,783
Judy costume, but, you know,
as a 30-year-old
245
00:09:44,785 --> 00:09:47,252
And I have this
ridiculous kid voice on,
246
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:50,122
And I'm telling him
that he didn't kill his parents,
247
00:09:50,124 --> 00:09:51,323
I did!
248
00:09:51,325 --> 00:09:52,657
[ normal voice ] [ laughs ]
249
00:09:52,659 --> 00:09:54,259
[ brent's voice ]
what's my favorite color?
250
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:55,327
Co-workers: Flesh!
251
00:09:55,329 --> 00:09:56,595
S.I.M.M.: Congratulations.
252
00:09:56,597 --> 00:09:59,664
You've reached level 42,
the boss stage.
253
00:09:59,666 --> 00:10:02,134
Juice up and bag your gas.
254
00:10:02,136 --> 00:10:04,403
It's time to fire someone.
255
00:10:04,405 --> 00:10:06,204
[ normal voice ] [ groans ]
256
00:10:06,206 --> 00:10:07,872
[ brent's voice ] hey, tom.
257
00:10:07,874 --> 00:10:09,274
B-b-b-b-b-dog!
258
00:10:09,276 --> 00:10:12,144
Uh, we need to talk.
259
00:10:12,146 --> 00:10:13,478
Want a piece of candy?
260
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:14,679
[ normal voice ]
ouch. Candy.
261
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:16,148
Hot button.
[ inhales deeply ]
262
00:10:16,150 --> 00:10:18,016
[ brent's voice ]
you can do this, judy, come on.
263
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,151
Who's judy?
264
00:10:19,153 --> 00:10:20,953
Tom.
265
00:10:20,955 --> 00:10:22,287
I-it's just not --
266
00:10:22,289 --> 00:10:23,956
We're going to have to...
267
00:10:23,958 --> 00:10:26,224
Let you...
[ groans ]
268
00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:28,761
Did I tell you
I just had a baby?
269
00:10:28,763 --> 00:10:30,295
S.I.M.M.: Promotion denied.
270
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,197
Again.
271
00:10:35,302 --> 00:10:36,835
[ breathing heavily ]
272
00:10:36,837 --> 00:10:39,037
Painting her nails
at her desk
273
00:10:39,039 --> 00:10:40,439
And making a birthday card
274
00:10:40,441 --> 00:10:41,974
With a pop-up thingy!
275
00:10:41,976 --> 00:10:43,976
Ka-thwacking
the toilet seat cover
276
00:10:43,978 --> 00:10:45,510
To make sure it's working!
277
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:47,912
Uh, are you okay?
278
00:10:47,914 --> 00:10:49,447
I'm better than okay.
279
00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:50,915
I got my man,
280
00:10:50,917 --> 00:10:53,051
And she has got to go.
281
00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,920
Gillian!
282
00:10:55,922 --> 00:10:57,055
Jessica!
283
00:10:57,057 --> 00:10:58,390
So nice to see y--
284
00:10:58,392 --> 00:10:59,658
So you want to hear about
frank's divorce
285
00:10:59,660 --> 00:11:01,326
Or dana's gambling problem?
286
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,727
...You.
You're fired.
287
00:11:02,729 --> 00:11:05,864
[ chuckles ] excuse
my eager friend here, but...
288
00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:06,799
[ door opens ]
289
00:11:06,801 --> 00:11:08,200
You're fired.
290
00:11:08,202 --> 00:11:10,402
Since the dog's
out of the bag,
291
00:11:10,404 --> 00:11:12,070
As no one says,
292
00:11:12,072 --> 00:11:15,207
Uh, you are indeed fired.
293
00:11:19,946 --> 00:11:21,546
Oh, I get it.
294
00:11:21,548 --> 00:11:22,947
You're "firing" me?
295
00:11:22,949 --> 00:11:24,149
You almost got me.
296
00:11:24,151 --> 00:11:25,617
Oh, and I saved you
a zagnut
297
00:11:25,619 --> 00:11:26,951
Before the little elves
get their hands on it.
298
00:11:26,953 --> 00:11:30,355
The level of denial's
unbelievable!
299
00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:31,756
You're really fired.
300
00:11:31,758 --> 00:11:33,225
I hope
you don't mind taking...
301
00:11:33,227 --> 00:11:34,893
Don't do that.
...Advice.
302
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:36,829
But you're new at this,
so I'll do you a huge favor
303
00:11:36,831 --> 00:11:38,497
And allow you to undo
what's going to be
304
00:11:38,499 --> 00:11:40,565
The biggest mistake
of your life!
305
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,767
I'm confused.
Are you threatening me?
306
00:11:42,769 --> 00:11:44,769
She's threatening you.
And she's fired.
307
00:11:44,771 --> 00:11:47,840
Lick your lips.
Do you know who I am?
308
00:11:47,842 --> 00:11:50,909
Do you know what I can do
to this company?
309
00:11:50,911 --> 00:11:53,311
Ooh, ouch.
I think we'll survive
310
00:11:53,313 --> 00:11:55,047
Without mallomar mondays.
311
00:11:55,049 --> 00:11:57,850
It isn't just marshmallow
holding this company together.
312
00:11:57,852 --> 00:12:00,585
You'll see.
You'll all see!
313
00:12:00,587 --> 00:12:03,788
Two's "both,"
three or more's "all."
314
00:12:03,790 --> 00:12:05,457
[ whispers indistinctly ]
no.
315
00:12:05,459 --> 00:12:07,659
No, not the fireballs.
316
00:12:07,661 --> 00:12:11,930
[ siren blaring ]
she's taking away
the atomic fireballs!
317
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,932
Announcer: We are aware of
the candy situation
318
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:15,868
And are working diligently
to address it.
319
00:12:15,870 --> 00:12:20,138
Please return to your offices
and await further instructions.
320
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:22,140
[ engine revving ]
321
00:12:22,142 --> 00:12:24,409
Judy: [ brent's voice ] oh, wow,
it's a quarter to brent,
322
00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:28,313
Which means it's party time!
323
00:12:29,550 --> 00:12:31,816
Oh, my god.
The candy is disappearing.
324
00:12:31,818 --> 00:12:35,554
But candy's our reward
for a job well done.
325
00:12:35,556 --> 00:12:36,889
[ normal voice ]
the importance of candy
326
00:12:36,891 --> 00:12:39,691
In an office setting
can't be overestimated.
327
00:12:39,693 --> 00:12:41,927
[ siren blaring ]
jesus, brad,
keep it in your pa--
328
00:12:43,898 --> 00:12:46,899
Well, everyone,
it seems jessica did everything
329
00:12:46,901 --> 00:12:49,367
That powers
an office ecosystem.
330
00:12:49,369 --> 00:12:50,835
Besides issuing paychecks,
331
00:12:50,837 --> 00:12:53,638
She wrote the passy-aggressy
notes about dishes
332
00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,774
In the sink,
planned baby showers.
333
00:12:55,776 --> 00:12:58,310
She even rolled carl
for bedsores.
334
00:12:58,312 --> 00:13:00,579
And...
[ electricity powers down ]
335
00:13:00,581 --> 00:13:02,915
...Seems powered
the entire building
336
00:13:02,917 --> 00:13:05,584
With her under-desk
exercycle.
337
00:13:05,586 --> 00:13:06,785
Beautiful.
338
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:08,453
You've been tailing her
for six days
339
00:13:08,455 --> 00:13:10,122
And this is news to you?
340
00:13:10,124 --> 00:13:12,056
I got a lot on my plate.
341
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:14,459
We're going to have to
fill in for her, people.
342
00:13:14,461 --> 00:13:15,794
Payday's coming up.
343
00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:18,597
Paul, can you cover
the social fabric nonsense?
344
00:13:18,599 --> 00:13:20,332
I am
but a humble seamstress.
345
00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:22,867
And can you roll carl
for bedsores?
346
00:13:22,869 --> 00:13:25,804
Am I authorized to hire a hot
but competent nursing staff
347
00:13:25,806 --> 00:13:28,073
And collect some
fecal samples from him?
348
00:13:28,075 --> 00:13:29,674
Get out.
349
00:13:29,676 --> 00:13:31,143
[ workers screaming ]
350
00:13:31,145 --> 00:13:33,612
Judy: [ brent's voice ]
is this another boss level?
351
00:13:33,614 --> 00:13:35,747
Brent, thank god.
What should we do?
352
00:13:35,749 --> 00:13:37,215
Slap my ass a couple times.
353
00:13:37,217 --> 00:13:38,550
That always helps him think.
354
00:13:38,552 --> 00:13:40,885
[ normal voice ] look,
I think it might be time
355
00:13:40,887 --> 00:13:43,355
For me to go back
where I came from.
356
00:13:43,357 --> 00:13:44,489
[ brent's voice ]
I'm not like you.
357
00:13:44,491 --> 00:13:45,958
-Kill brent.
-Candy.
358
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,092
[ normal voice ] oh, boy.
Let's go while we still can.
359
00:13:48,094 --> 00:13:50,362
I don't want to die
in a drape suit!
360
00:13:50,364 --> 00:13:52,631
S.I.M.M.: Key to the executive
men's room!
361
00:13:52,633 --> 00:13:55,901
Co-workers:
Kill brent. Kill brent.
362
00:14:00,775 --> 00:14:03,575
[ exercycle cranking ]
363
00:14:06,847 --> 00:14:08,380
Dog with bucket hat:
Here we go.
364
00:14:08,382 --> 00:14:10,114
Is it her "glee" fanfic?
365
00:14:10,116 --> 00:14:13,986
Yes, and every paycheck
she ever earned at this place,
366
00:14:13,988 --> 00:14:17,121
She hasn't cashed
a single one,
367
00:14:17,123 --> 00:14:18,991
And she's been here
10 years.
368
00:14:18,993 --> 00:14:22,461
The second she decides to cash
the checks, we go bankrupt.
369
00:14:22,463 --> 00:14:24,463
[ electricity powers down ]
370
00:14:24,465 --> 00:14:26,131
[ exercycle cranking ]
371
00:14:26,133 --> 00:14:27,199
[ cellphone rings ]
372
00:14:27,201 --> 00:14:28,533
Merlot?
373
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,802
Did jessica say
where she was going
374
00:14:29,804 --> 00:14:31,804
When she stormed out?
She did mutter something
375
00:14:31,806 --> 00:14:35,207
About the affiliated bookkeepers
and accountants credit union.
376
00:14:35,209 --> 00:14:37,676
Good [bleep] looks like
I'm going to assburg.
377
00:14:37,678 --> 00:14:38,877
We have to get judy.
378
00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:41,013
Oh, she's still in
the s.I.M.M.
379
00:14:41,015 --> 00:14:42,947
[ engine revving ]
380
00:14:42,949 --> 00:14:44,817
Judy: [ brent's voice ]
uh, what's going on?
381
00:14:44,819 --> 00:14:47,952
You suck at --
at firing people!
382
00:14:47,954 --> 00:14:49,354
[ normal voice ]
I've heard that before.
383
00:14:49,356 --> 00:14:50,622
The game is winning,
and --
384
00:14:50,624 --> 00:14:52,290
And the only way
to stop it is to
385
00:14:52,292 --> 00:14:54,092
Shit-can some employees!
386
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:56,361
S.I.M.M.:
Level 27 -- club seb.
387
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:59,297
Enjoy.
388
00:14:59,299 --> 00:15:01,633
Judy: [ brent's voice ]
this is how guys vacation?
389
00:15:01,635 --> 00:15:03,968
Mere and I went to
the smithsonian last year.
390
00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:05,704
Ooh-ooh.
Some baby oil
391
00:15:05,706 --> 00:15:07,506
For those rough spots,
baby?
392
00:15:07,508 --> 00:15:08,640
Okay?
393
00:15:08,642 --> 00:15:10,242
Things seem fine in here.
394
00:15:10,244 --> 00:15:11,844
We're executives, okay?
395
00:15:11,846 --> 00:15:14,112
Look, nothing can
touch us in here.
396
00:15:14,114 --> 00:15:16,849
[ screams ]
397
00:15:16,851 --> 00:15:19,384
S.I.M.M.: Hostile takeover.
398
00:15:19,386 --> 00:15:21,720
[ 8-bit music plays ]
399
00:15:23,123 --> 00:15:26,058
♪♪
400
00:15:26,060 --> 00:15:28,326
[ normal voice ]
can I go home now?
401
00:15:28,328 --> 00:15:32,965
♪♪
402
00:15:37,938 --> 00:15:39,538
There's something wrong
with the s.I.M.M.
403
00:15:39,540 --> 00:15:40,739
Evie: How can you tell?
404
00:15:40,741 --> 00:15:43,341
Hysterical strength!
405
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:45,343
Oh, my god, jude!
You okay?
406
00:15:45,345 --> 00:15:46,945
[ gasps ] she's gone!
407
00:15:46,947 --> 00:15:52,017
Jude's trapped in there.
Swe've got to go after her.S!
408
00:15:52,019 --> 00:15:53,885
And that's all
the exposition you need.
409
00:15:53,887 --> 00:15:56,087
Uh, before we go in,
you should know
410
00:15:56,089 --> 00:15:58,957
This is no place
for a fourth wave feminist.
411
00:15:58,959 --> 00:16:01,693
Now let's go slap some ass.
412
00:16:01,695 --> 00:16:03,762
S.I.M.M.:
Welcome to the s.I.M.M.
413
00:16:03,764 --> 00:16:06,432
Yeah, I don't think so.
414
00:16:06,434 --> 00:16:09,234
[ elevator dings ]
415
00:16:09,236 --> 00:16:11,437
Shake your cakes!
[ woman squeals ]
416
00:16:11,439 --> 00:16:13,505
Climb the corporate ladder.
417
00:16:13,507 --> 00:16:15,773
Big swinging dick!
418
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:17,810
[ growls nervously ]
419
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,779
[ cellphone vibrates ]
420
00:16:20,781 --> 00:16:23,381
Yeah,
we got a problem here.
421
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,716
You got several.
422
00:16:24,718 --> 00:16:26,785
Jessica over loudspeaker:
Good people of sebben & sebben.
423
00:16:26,787 --> 00:16:28,120
What's she doing?
424
00:16:28,122 --> 00:16:30,656
Friends, candy lovers,
co-workers,
425
00:16:30,658 --> 00:16:33,791
If you have ever enjoyed
one of my delectable treats,
426
00:16:33,793 --> 00:16:35,060
Do as I ask.
427
00:16:35,062 --> 00:16:37,195
Please walk to
the south corner
428
00:16:37,197 --> 00:16:39,531
Of your office.
429
00:16:39,533 --> 00:16:41,467
Wait.
430
00:16:41,469 --> 00:16:43,135
She's tipping the building.
431
00:16:43,137 --> 00:16:46,271
She's using candy coercion
to tip us over!
432
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,706
Help!
433
00:16:49,877 --> 00:16:52,277
I am mistaken, I am.
434
00:16:52,279 --> 00:16:56,215
Brian: Hey,
is it okay to hang up now?
435
00:16:57,417 --> 00:17:00,786
This is it!
The end of the game.
436
00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,823
[ whispering ] it's a land
beyond the s.I.M.M.
437
00:17:04,825 --> 00:17:06,024
[ normal voice ]
don't let that close!
438
00:17:06,026 --> 00:17:08,894
Oh. How are we gonna
find judy?
439
00:17:08,896 --> 00:17:10,829
Oh, I know where she is.
440
00:17:10,831 --> 00:17:12,765
That chard whore.
441
00:17:14,368 --> 00:17:15,501
[ deep voice ] you came.
442
00:17:15,503 --> 00:17:18,704
I've been waiting
for this day for a long time.
443
00:17:18,706 --> 00:17:21,173
You've only been gone
like two hours.
444
00:17:21,175 --> 00:17:23,108
And why are you talking like
christine baranski?
445
00:17:23,110 --> 00:17:26,912
Because I've earned it,
meredith.
446
00:17:27,515 --> 00:17:29,515
Jessica over loudspeaker:
Now, please make your way
447
00:17:29,517 --> 00:17:32,584
To the north corner
of your office.
448
00:17:32,586 --> 00:17:33,852
Aah!
449
00:17:33,854 --> 00:17:35,320
[ grunts ]
450
00:17:35,322 --> 00:17:38,256
[ s.I.M.M. Powers up ]
451
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:39,991
Sounds fun.
452
00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:42,861
S.I.M.M.: Pick your avatar!
453
00:17:42,863 --> 00:17:44,796
Brian: Not a lot of guys
to choose from.
454
00:17:44,798 --> 00:17:47,065
I do look good in cornflower.
455
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:50,135
S.I.M.M.: Level one --
sales & marketing.
456
00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:52,871
Shake your cakes.
Shake your cakes.
457
00:17:52,873 --> 00:17:54,806
Low hanging fruit.
458
00:17:54,808 --> 00:17:57,075
Get ready to go public.
459
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:58,744
10,000 points!
460
00:17:58,746 --> 00:18:00,812
Best game ever.
461
00:18:00,814 --> 00:18:02,948
I've been working to build
each of you
462
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:06,351
Your individual
perfect virtual world.
463
00:18:06,353 --> 00:18:10,088
Mere, this is the ranch
you've always wanted.
464
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,824
It's gorgeous, jude.
465
00:18:12,826 --> 00:18:15,961
I never thought you were paying
attention when I said that.
466
00:18:15,963 --> 00:18:18,764
And evie, I give you
467
00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:20,566
The teen zone.
468
00:18:20,568 --> 00:18:22,034
For not now,
469
00:18:22,036 --> 00:18:23,902
Because you're but a child.
470
00:18:23,904 --> 00:18:25,571
Evie: What is he doing?
471
00:18:25,573 --> 00:18:27,505
♪♪
472
00:18:27,507 --> 00:18:28,774
[ co-worker screaming ]
473
00:18:28,776 --> 00:18:30,576
♪♪
474
00:18:30,578 --> 00:18:32,844
Brian: Aaaah!
475
00:18:33,713 --> 00:18:36,848
Jessica's gone power mad
and is destroying the building.
476
00:18:36,850 --> 00:18:38,450
Evie:
Don't let that close!
477
00:18:38,452 --> 00:18:39,385
[ groans ]
478
00:18:39,387 --> 00:18:41,853
Ah, brian, my love,
479
00:18:41,855 --> 00:18:43,789
I didn't forget you.
480
00:18:43,791 --> 00:18:45,391
Todd's?
481
00:18:45,393 --> 00:18:47,993
It haunts me
in my dreams.
482
00:18:47,995 --> 00:18:50,195
Am I the...
Deejay?
483
00:18:50,197 --> 00:18:50,996
Indeed.
484
00:18:50,998 --> 00:18:53,465
And finally, you -- wait.
485
00:18:53,467 --> 00:18:55,133
Where's dog?
486
00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:57,269
S.I.M.M.: Fringe benefits.
487
00:18:57,271 --> 00:18:59,671
Now, what's this about
jessica?
488
00:18:59,673 --> 00:19:03,875
I may have fired her
a little bit.
489
00:19:03,877 --> 00:19:06,678
Uh, then we realized she hasn't
been cashing her paychecks.
490
00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:09,147
Now she's going to cash them
and bankrupt the company.
491
00:19:09,149 --> 00:19:11,416
That's a summary
of events.
492
00:19:11,418 --> 00:19:12,684
Maybe it's okay.
493
00:19:12,686 --> 00:19:15,353
Maybe we let jessica burn
sebben & sebben to the ground.
494
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:16,755
I could be doing
everyone a favor
495
00:19:16,757 --> 00:19:18,624
By just shutting
the whole thing down,
496
00:19:18,626 --> 00:19:20,225
Letting go, moving on.
497
00:19:20,227 --> 00:19:23,228
Jude, do you want to save
the company or not?
498
00:19:23,230 --> 00:19:25,163
If I may?
If you don't,
499
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:27,833
No bills get paid,
the power gets shut off,
500
00:19:27,835 --> 00:19:30,436
The building forecloses,
the s.I.M.M. Shuts down,
501
00:19:30,438 --> 00:19:32,304
And we go bye!
502
00:19:32,306 --> 00:19:34,773
When you put it that way,
I guess we should go back
503
00:19:34,775 --> 00:19:37,509
To the office.
But can we?
504
00:19:37,511 --> 00:19:40,646
Word around the watercooler is
the s.I.M.M. Can't go backwards.
505
00:19:40,648 --> 00:19:42,514
No player's ever done it.
506
00:19:42,516 --> 00:19:45,250
Well, maybe no player has.
507
00:19:45,252 --> 00:19:47,786
Are you saying...
No, no!
508
00:19:47,788 --> 00:19:49,321
She is not saying that.
509
00:19:49,323 --> 00:19:51,389
Birdteam, go!
510
00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:53,459
[ razor buzzing ]
[ imitates fanfare ]
511
00:19:55,595 --> 00:19:57,729
Birdgirl: Follow me, guys,
and charlene.
512
00:19:57,731 --> 00:19:59,999
[ whip cracking ]
ha! Ha!
513
00:20:02,402 --> 00:20:04,602
[ cellphone rings ]
514
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:07,205
♪♪
515
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,341
[ nazi zombie laughs evilly ]
516
00:20:09,343 --> 00:20:12,077
Huh, still had
nazis in the '80s.
517
00:20:12,079 --> 00:20:13,345
Glad we don't --
[ grunts ]--
518
00:20:13,347 --> 00:20:16,448
Have to deal
with these assholes anymore.
519
00:20:18,418 --> 00:20:20,418
[ s.I.M.M. Beeping ]
520
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:22,087
♪♪
521
00:20:22,089 --> 00:20:25,691
Jessica over loudspeaker:
Now left foot in
522
00:20:25,693 --> 00:20:28,394
And shake it all about.
523
00:20:29,563 --> 00:20:30,428
[ growls ]
524
00:20:30,430 --> 00:20:33,365
Judy:
Mere, get me jessica.
525
00:20:33,367 --> 00:20:37,302
If you've ever felt overlooked,
taken for granted, underpaid,
526
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:41,507
I want you to stand on one foot
and start hopping up and down.
527
00:20:41,509 --> 00:20:42,774
May I help you?
528
00:20:42,776 --> 00:20:45,243
Jessica, there's been
a horrible misunderstanding,
529
00:20:45,245 --> 00:20:47,312
And I'd like to apologize
530
00:20:47,314 --> 00:20:51,983
And increase
your candy budget.
531
00:20:52,652 --> 00:20:58,190
Trish: News happens, and this is
"the sylvia situation."
532
00:20:58,192 --> 00:20:59,858
In an exclusive update,
533
00:20:59,860 --> 00:21:01,993
The tipping building
has come to a rest,
534
00:21:01,995 --> 00:21:05,197
And the thousands of
employees inside are safe.
535
00:21:05,199 --> 00:21:08,600
Quite the "sky escapers."
536
00:21:08,602 --> 00:21:13,004
Right, trish?
People nearly died, walt.
537
00:21:13,006 --> 00:21:15,207
Do you have empathy?
538
00:21:15,209 --> 00:21:18,009
Charlie: So after the meltdown,
she went candy shopping,
539
00:21:18,011 --> 00:21:20,946
Had a carafe of pinot,
then the blowout.
540
00:21:20,948 --> 00:21:22,881
Ah, no wonder
you couldn't fire her.
541
00:21:22,883 --> 00:21:25,751
People's candy rage
nearly destroyed the building.
542
00:21:25,753 --> 00:21:28,353
You still don't get it.
The fire jessica meeting
543
00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:29,955
Was never about
firing jessica.
544
00:21:29,957 --> 00:21:33,158
It was a cover so she could
tell me who's angry,
545
00:21:33,160 --> 00:21:36,628
Who needs encouragement,
who wants to quit.
546
00:21:36,630 --> 00:21:39,097
She's never going to cash
those checks, guys.
547
00:21:39,099 --> 00:21:42,301
[ groans ]
I smell like a goddamn toddler.
548
00:21:44,104 --> 00:21:46,438
[ exercycle cranking ]
know what I think?
549
00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:48,039
Why didn't she cash out
one of those checks
550
00:21:48,041 --> 00:21:49,174
And get a decent
pair of shoes?
551
00:21:49,176 --> 00:21:51,176
I think this place
can't be too bad
552
00:21:51,178 --> 00:21:53,645
If we drag our asses
in here day after day.
553
00:21:53,647 --> 00:21:57,048
H.R. Complaints
against "charlene."
554
00:21:57,050 --> 00:21:58,116
He did all this?
555
00:21:58,118 --> 00:21:59,785
In a sense.
Brian?
556
00:21:59,787 --> 00:22:01,420
Yo.
You're fired.
557
00:22:03,256 --> 00:22:04,423
Saves the world? ♪
in a sense.
Brian?
558
00:22:04,425 --> 00:22:06,157
Hey! Birdgirl!
559
00:22:06,159 --> 00:22:07,626
♪ wings of fire,
unique like pearls ♪
560
00:22:07,628 --> 00:22:09,294
Hey! Birdgirl!
561
00:22:09,296 --> 00:22:11,162
♪ who's the one
they can't defeat? ♪
562
00:22:11,164 --> 00:22:12,564
Hey! Birdgirl!
563
00:22:12,566 --> 00:22:14,499
♪ ultra fierce,
and it's all you need ♪
564
00:22:14,501 --> 00:22:17,436
Hey! Birdgirl!
565
00:22:17,438 --> 00:22:19,104
Hey!
[ imitating fanfare ]
566
00:22:19,106 --> 00:22:21,106
Birdgirl!
567
00:22:22,175 --> 00:22:25,444
Made in georgia.